Chapter 4
Sam had cried himself asleep. Dean just laid there holding his brother, listening to the rise and fall of his content breathing. Dean sighed in relief finally his brother would get some rest. He didn't dare move from his position on the bed he wanted Sammy to know that he was there and that he wouldn't let anything hurt him. Like clockwork Sammy began to stir 4 hours later. Dean had never been awake to see what effect his brother's nightmares had on him. It was horrible, he watched Sam twist and scream. This lasted for maybe a minute then Dean had to shake his brother awake. He wiped the tears from Sammy's eyes. Sammy borrowed his face into Dean's chest mostly to cover up his shame. He felt so stupid falling apart in the arms of his brother. Dean never dealt with emotions very well, it always seemed awkward and unnatural to him. So he just held Sam until his shoulders stop shaking. "Sammy these are just dreams, you know that come literally hell or high water I will always be here…I think I've proven that already." Dean said. Looking up into Dean's eyes he said "We've lost so much Dean, I can't bare to lose anything else." "I know Sammy it's hard for me too. What scares me the most is the fact that I am still holding it together, but I know when I break I don't know if I will ever recover. Let's just leave this for now, everything is fine and I am here." Dean said. With that the room went quiet and they both laid there with pain, regret and hatred swimming though there veins. Dean was still trying to understand his feelings for Cas, could he be in love with this angel. He wouldn't dare mention this to Sam; he wasn't sure how he would react. Dean closed his eyes smoothing out the wrinkles on his brow. Yawning Sam said "Whatcha thinking about?" Absent mindedly Dean let the word "Cas" escape his lips. Sam eyeballed Dean; there was something different when he said Cas's name. Sam saw some kind of emotion behind those eyes but he wasn't sure what it was. He had only seen that emotion from Dean once and that was with Lisa. Dean couldn't be in love with Cas not like that could he?