My nightmare that night had nothing to do with Steve.

Those guys were back, and they had Darry. I stood on the porch, helpless, listening to him yell at me, begging me to go get help; to do something, but I couldn't move. I was frozen in that spot, watching him get punched and kicked, seeing him crumple to the ground and become covered by the guys. They were trying to strangle him, to kill him, and there was nothing I could do; I was unable to either move or speak. I turned out to be slightly grateful for the inability to speak, because that carried over into real life and, rather than waking up screaming, I simply bolted upright, heart racing and breathing heavily.

Just a dream, I comforted myself. Not real. A dream. That's all.

Silence filled the house as I pulled over my alarm clock to check the time. Three-thirty. Great. Three hours more of lying awake in bed trying to get that scenario out of my head. It couldn't have waited one more night, until I didn't have exams the next morning and would be able to sleep in? I lay back and tried to close my eyes and forget, but the silence in the house ate away at me.

Maybe it was because I'd had Darry sleeping in my room for a while and had gotten used to his sleeping sounds that this silence just seemed too quiet. Suddenly I felt a gnawing fear that I was alone, that maybe those guys had come back for Darry, and maybe even Soda and Pony too. It was one of those thoughts, irrational as it might have been, that simply wouldn't go away until proven wrong. After fifteen minutes of trying to convince myself it was stupid, I finally slid out of bed and down the hall, tiptoeing through the kitchen to Darry's door. I strained to hear his light snoring, and held my breath as I silently turned the knob to reveal both the sight and sound of my sleeping brother.

I had just closed his door and turned when Soda's voice in the doorway nearly scared the life out of me. I jumped about a mile but managed to not scream.

"What are you doing? It's the middle of the night." He was leaning up against the kitchen doorframe. I had forgotten that he'd been asleep on the couch.

"God, Soda. You guys have to stop scaring me like that," I whispered, once I had moved away from Darry's door.

"Sorry," he whispered, "but what are you doing in here?"

"Nothing," I said. "Forget it. Just go back to bed."

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Just forget it, okay? I'm going back to bed, and so should you." The whole thing seemed completely idiotic to me right then. Me, getting up to check on Darry? God. Like somebody would ever be able to come in the house and attack him without one of us hearing? No wonder everybody treats me like I'm five years old sometimes, I was thinking… Right then, I was acting like it. I pushed past Soda back into my room and threw myself back in the bed. He followed me to my door.

"Are you really okay?"

"Yes. Go to bed, Soda." I was mad – not at him, at myself. First: for being stupid, and second: for getting caught being stupid. My frustration with myself actually turned out to be a gift. as it took precedence over any leftover fear from the nightmare and, determined to act my age, I actually managed to fall back asleep.

............................

I awoke to my name being called and the feeling of someone sitting down on my bed. I opened my eyes and after they adjusted to the light I found Darry sitting at the foot of my bed.

"Morning," he said. "Lucky you, last day of school."

"Mmmm." I closed my eyes again and just lay there. I was definitely the worst riser in the family, and I doubted I would ever be an early bird like Darry and Soda.

"How'd you sleep?" Something in his tone told me that Soda had already informed him about our early-morning exchange.

"Fine," I said, still not opening my eyes, hoping he would let it go. He didn't.

"Then what were you doing at my door at three in the morning?" he asked, rubbing my foot through the sheets.

"Nothing, okay? Soda needs to learn to keep his mouth shut. Just forget it."

"He was concerned about you. Were you sneaking into my room again? I told you, you don't have to do that."

"No."

"Then what?" I finally opened my eyes again and stared at him.

"Look, it was nothing, okay? It was stupid. I had a dream about those guys, that they came back for you and then I couldn't hear anybody in the house, so I just went to check, to make sure you were still here. That's all. I'm fine."

Darry looked at me and didn't say anything. I could tell he was thinking about something, though, and I was sure he was praying that I would just grow up and once and for all stop acting like a little scared kid. He stood up abruptly.

"C'mon, Soda's making pancakes. Tomorrow you get to sleep in."

I sighed and slid out of bed, heading for the bathroom and swearing to myself that no matter what kind of dreams came to me in the night, from then on, I was staying in my bed. It was high time to grow up, for God's sake, I chastised myself.

Soda glanced at me as I sat down, but didn't say anything, instead telling Darry that he was going to call the salvage place that had towed his car after the accident and see if there was any hope of saving it. I wanted to tell him he was crazy – I had been the only one conscious at the scene to see the car – but I didn't say anything. I knew how much he wanted a car of his own, so I figured I'd let someone else give him the bad news.

I was quiet at breakfast, but that was becoming par for the course most days. Pony wasn't all that chatty in the mornings either, so usually that left just Darry and Soda to talk, every once in a while asking one of us a question and getting a one-word answer. Even in the truck on the way to school, we didn't have much to say. As we climbed out, Darry reminded us,

"I mean it, you two better be out in front of the high school at noon, or I'm not gonna be happy."

"We will," I said. Pony had already turned to go. I was about to follow him when Darry grabbed my shoulder.

"Hey, Scout?" he looked serious.

"What?"

"Don't worry about me, please? I'll be fine. Just do your best on your tests, 'kay?"

"I will."

"Alright, see you later."

"Bye, Dar."

………………………………..

Again, my exams were pretty much as I had expected and I wasn't too worried about how I had done on them. I finished up a good forty-five minutes before Darry was supposed to pick us up, so I waited around outside the junior high for a while before walking over to meet Pony at the high school. I said goodbye to most of my school friends who I knew I probably wouldn't see over the summer. After a while it was just Anna and Ben and me sitting on the steps.

"How come you're telling all these kids goodbye now? Aren't you coming to graduation tomorrow?" Anna asked. Our junior high school had a graduation ceremony the day after exams where they gave out academic awards and stuff. The previous year my mom had made all of us go to Pony's, which he would have given anything to not have to attend, due to the fact that he was expected to wear a suit. I was not a big fan of formal dress, either – not that I really had anything appropriate to wear, anyway - and honestly, I really didn't want to go and have to think even more about how different things had been for me just a year ago.

"No," I said. "I think it's kind of stupid, actually. I mean, we're not really graduating from anything, we're just moving next door to the high school. Nobody will be around to drive me anyway." The ceremony was at ten – Darry would have long since gone to work, and Kevin and Ben wouldn't be going, since Ben was only in seventh grade.

"My dad could pick you up," Anna suggested.

"No, I mean, thanks for offering, but I just don't really want to go. I can't explain it. I just don't want to think about going to Pony's, last year, with my parents."

Neither Ben nor Anna answered, and I knew they didn't know what to say. I didn't talk much about my parents with Anna, but Ben knew how much I missed them sometimes.

Just then Anna's dad drove up and she ran off to his car, promising to call me later in the week so we could get together. Ben walked over to the high school with me to find Pony leaning up against a tree, smoking.

Pony offered Ben a smoke and he declined.

"How come you never even ask me if I want one?" I asked him.

"Are you kidding? Darry would kill me. And you."

"Darry's not even here." I didn't actually want to smoke, for some reason it just bugged me that it was always assumed I couldn't. Getting treated like a kid, again, it seemed to me.

"You don't wanna start smoking, Scout. It's too expensive. I should quit, too. We can't afford my addiction, alone, especially with Soda not working." I hadn't thought about that. I guessed it must be Soda who was buying the butts for Pony; Darry would never actually work that into our budget.

"I'm gonna babysit for my coach's kid this summer, to help out. I'm pretty sure Darry's gonna let me."

"He said that?" Pony seemed a little mad.

"He's thinking about it. Why?"

"I asked him about working at the bowling alley this summer, and he said I couldn't work 'til I was sixteen, that that was Mom and Dad's rule."

"Well, I guess it's different, now, since Soda can't work. I don't know, maybe you should ask him again. He's gonna talk to me about it after work. He was busy when I asked him last night."

"I'll have to ask Pete if they're still looking for help."

Just then, Kevin came out the high school door towards us, asking Pony and me if we wanted a ride. We declined, Darry had said he didn't want us to make Kevin into our personal chauffeur. I think he was already feeling guilty about Kevin getting caught up in his fight the previous day and didn't want to ask for any more favors. I started to feel panic rise in me again as I thought about those guys and Darry, alone at work.

"What time is it, Kevin?" I asked. He looked down at his watch.

"Five past twelve," he said. "C'mon, Ben, we gotta go, I hafta work at one." Ben parked cars at a fancy restaurant downtown. They took off toward the parking lot.

"I'll talk to you later, Scout," Ben called back over his shoulder. I was sure that we would be seeing each other pretty much every day during the summer.

Pony and I waited another few minutes in silence, with still no sign of Darry. I didn't like it; he was never late. But before I had a chance to really work myself into a panic, I saw Darry's truck pulling into the school parking lot.

"Sorry guys," he said, as we hopped in, "I stopped to get some lunch stuff for you and Soda. I used up all the bread this morning." I had a feeling the explanation was for my benefit; that he knew I'd be worried. "How'd exams go?"

"Fine," Pony and I both answered, equally unenthusiastically, which made Darry laugh.

"It's a good thing you two are smart, I can only imagine how much you'd dislike school, if it was actually hard for you."

"I guess," I said. I didn't really dislike school; I was just ready for a break. I didn't even mind that I might be working; at least it would be something different.

Darry handed me a bag containing milk, bread, and some lunch meat as we pulled up in front of the house.

"Make sure Soda eats something, okay?" he asked. "And here," he pulled a pill bottle out of his glove compartment, opening it and handing me one. "Give him this."

"You take those things to work with you? Jeez, Darry, you really don't trust us, huh?" Pony asked, surprised.

"Believe me, the last thing I need is you guys getting curious about drugs." Darry said. "You saw what happened to Steve."

I tensed. I wondered how long it would be before just the mention of his name would make me feel a litte sick.

"How are you feeling, anyway, Scout? You still sore? I saw you didn't take the pill I left you yesterday."

"I'm okay." I was still a little achy but it was nothing too bad. Not like when Steve broke my ribs.

"Okay, well, I'll be home by five. You guys stay out of trouble. Scout, you know the rules about Ben."

"I know, Darry." I heard Pony laughing at me as he headed in the house, and shook my head.

"Oh, he's laughing now, but the rules are gonna be the same for him if he ever starts showing an interest in the ladies. Don't let him get to you."

"I don't."

"I haven't forgotten about our talk tonight, okay? After dinner."

"Okay." I shut the door and looked through the window.

"Dar?"

"Yeah?"

"Be careful."

"I always am. I'll see you later." He stuck his tongue out at me and pulled away from the curb. I laughed, watching the cloud of dust follow his truck down to the corner and disappear, and I turned and headed into the house to begin my summer.

...............................

A/N: Kinda slow chapter, I know. Sometimes it takes a while to get from here to there. :-) Thanks for the reviews.