Lydia's eyelashes felt like they had been coated in cement and they weighed down her eyelids, smeared with mascara and flaking black liner. She could still taste the alcohol from the night before and swallowed as she tried to clear her throat, wincing when she realized how hoarse her voice was probably going to be. It took a moment, a long, comfortable moment for the woman to notice that the soft patch of flesh where she was resting her cheek belonged to Isaac. His chest rose and fell in calm, even breaths and Lydia didn't know whether to close her eyes, let it lull her back into dreamless sleep or to try and scramble to her feet without waking him, run to her apartment in the building next door and hope that he didn't remember her ever being there.
A strong, gentle arm rested across her lower back and when the woman tensed she felt it tighten ever-so-slightly. Her knee was draped casually across his lap; dress hiked up around her thighs where it pooled next to her on the couch and as she curled her fingers, she found his wrist resting underneath the palm of her hand. Hazel eyes hesitantly mapped their way passed the dip of his collarbone to Isaac's square jaw and the puff of his bottom lip as he inhaled and exhaled. The red-head bit down on her bottom lip, eyes falling closed as she moved her leg to scoot away from the doctor as inconspicuously as she could.
He purred softly and the sound coaxed a small smile to curve at Lydia's lips. She sat up slowly before she tried to retract her hand. His fingertips wrapped around her own, thumb dusting across the tops of her knuckles, "Don't go," his voice was whispered through the part of a tired grin, blue eyes cracking open to look up at Lydia whose cheeks had turned a frosted pink. The tightness in her chest constricted even further and she rubbed her lips together to try and busy her mouth before she attempted to speak. His gaze was patient, waiting, and she hated to look away from him but the wrench in her gut caused her eyes to flee.
The words she had built dropped when he brushed across the silver band on her finger and she gasped, shakily snatching her hand up and clutching it to her chest.
Isaac's eyes didn't move away from her but he tilted his head to the side, "Lydia," his voice was a quiet comfort but she still shied away, stumbling as she got to her feet and babbled about how she needed to go. "Lydia, it's okay-" Isaac's expression tightened and he reached for her but found nothing but the brush of her dress as she picked up her shoes from under the coffee table and paced away.
The sound of the door closing is what pulled Derek out of his deep slumber. Green eyes flashed open and he squinted, blinking through the blurred outline of long fingers and an upturned nose. The alpha didn't move once his vision cleared, he simply stared at the man next to him. Stiles' hand was curled up next to his head and his nose twitched when Derek pulled his face out of the crook of his co-pilots shoulder.
Derek had never been given the chance to truly study Stiles, to trace the line where his jaw met the curve of his ear, or to count the tiny moles that were splashed across his cheek. The rangers eyelashes were long and dark and his hair was messily tussled around his face against the plush off-white carpet. He wasn't what Derek had been expecting, he wasn't what Derek had wanted to find when he came back to Shatterdome and Derek wished more than anything that he didn't want to reach out and run his fingers down the length of his co-pilots throat.
But he did.
The alpha stayed still, delved into the sight of Stiles' shirt, rucked up over his stomach and his jeans, pushed down snug over the cut of his hip bones. Derek inhaled through his nose and pulled his leg from where it had been tangled between Stiles' knees so that he could scoot back and sit up on his elbow.
Stiles sighed in his sleep and Derek held his breath when the lanky young man curled himself forward, the warmth of his breath ghosting across Derek's chest.
It wasn't an uncommon feeling, the urge to flee, but as familiar and appealing as it seemed when Stiles' hand rose to brush across Derek's hip, the ranger refused to move. It was one of those moments where making a decision was the absolute worst option, where it seemed like a better idea to sit and enjoy the silence, to be okay with the misunderstood situation and to wonder.
Where the fuck did you come from
It was all Derek could manage to repeat in his mind until Stiles finally stirred and hooked his arm further around the alphas body, "You're like a furnace," his voice was sloppy and slid between his lips in a slur of tired half-conscious words.
The veteran froze, unsure of whether or not Stiles knew what was going on, who he was holding onto and loudly cleared his throat.
Amber eyes opened and Stiles blinked, once, twice, before his breathing ruptured and he moved back to look up at Derek.
"Good morning," Derek was almost purring through a smirk as his eyebrows rose.
Stiles felt his heart pitter pattering against his rib cage, "I- uh... Hi, yeah," he ran his fingers through his hair and winced when the dull ache from last night's indulgences began to surface right above the bridge of his nose.
His nerves felt like splinters settled crooked in his skin and when Stiles glanced up at Derek, he felt them twist. Emerald eyes fell across him and the beta squirmed, removing his arm quickly before he tugged his shirt down, "So... Sorry for falling asleep on you- your floor! I'm uhm, I'm just gonna go-"
Derek's hand stopped him, pressing down on his chest, anchoring him to the carpet. It took the wind out of Stiles and a small huff graced the quiet room when he fell on his back and stared up at the man who hovered above him. His face flushed. His body flushed. Every cell within him vibrated and for a moment he wondered if this was his second chance. If this was redemption for the fiasco that had gone on last night.
"You told me something the other night," Derek spoke and his voice hit Stiles like satin sheets, "you said if I had something to say, I should say it."
Technically Stiles hadn't been able to finish his sentence due to Peter's arrival at the hotel but the fact that Derek remembered made his insides roll and twist. He nodded shallowly, honey optics flicking around Derek's face in a desperate attempt not to focus on his mouth.
A warm hand moved to grip Stiles' hip, thumb brushing over the patch of flesh to the right of his belly button.
Stiles' breath shook and his mouth fell slack as he tried to protest, to find anything to say but nothing surfaced, nothing except the click of his tongue and the sharp inhale of air.
The scratch of Derek's unshaven cheek brushed across his face and Stiles felt his throat constrict.
"Do you know what you are, Stiles?" Derek's mouth was pressed against his ear and Stiles couldn't move, could hardly breathe none-the-less find anywhere to put his hands which were at his sides, fists clenching and unclenching.
Derek's weight pressed down, "You're infuriating and you're compelling and you completely dismantle me," his voice broke and he opened his mouth to continue, blunt nails digging into the skin on Stiles' hip, "you're smart and charismatic and so fucking annoying."
Stiles' eyelids fluttered when Derek pushed his face closer and he arched against his co-pilot, wishing to god he had more self-control.
It was torture. The kind of torture that left him breathless with nerves like knives in the deepest parts of him. His stomach was doing flips, lungs tight and on fire until he reminded himself to take in a breath and keep his hands at his side. Because the moment they touched any part of Derek he would lose control of them. Stiles would lose control. As much as he wanted to fight the idea that losing control wouldn't be so bad, he knew in the end that it would.
Derek turned, eyes fixed down on the man beneath him. His breath was warm and Stiles sucked in air, parted lips trembling, "What if-" the words slipped, like a child on ice skates, like a bar of soap in the shower, just slipped from Stiles before he had the chance to catch them. His chest was a blaze, and his teeth gritted when Derek's calloused fingers pressed down, thumb dipping below the hem of his jeans to dig into the soft cavity under his hip bone.
Stiles hissed, "Jesus Christ, Der-"
It wasn't what he expected. The feeling of Derek's mouth covering his, desperate and needy and completely untamed. Derek Hale did not kiss the way he spoke, soft and smooth. No, Derek kissed like he fought.
It was messy, brutal, heavy. It made Stiles want to bite, to claw, to get a hold of any piece of the ranger that he could, so he let his fingers unfurl and fisted a hand in Derek's hair, lifting his head to chase the alphas mouth when he pulled back. The ranger above him gripped his free arm before he slammed Stiles' wrist above his head, body grinding down against him with obvious intent.
Stiles felt his mind waver, like he had malfunctioned and every thought that he had been chasing that morning was vacuumed out, set aside in an attempt to process the prying lips that left him breathless and the sharp point of Derek's tongue that rubbed slowly against his own.
It was strange, to feel the physical aspects of the person he had drifted with. Stiles had been inside Derek so many times, felt his pain, lived his memories, watched significant pieces of his life and they haunted him on a daily basis. To touch him. To feel him. It was an entirely new experience and it made Stiles wonder, made him want to find the untouched parts of Derek and press his hands against them, search for the shadows that lurked just out of reach and grip onto them like he was gripping onto Derek now.
He didn't realize how fast his heart was beating until he was hoisted up to his knees and Derek was growling into his mouth. The alpha busied his hands with the hem of Stiles' shirt, lifting and tugging until it was discarded, thrown absently somewhere in the room.
Derek hadn't known the sound of his own name until Stiles breathed it, warm and fluid between his lips and god, did he make it sound beautiful.
Long fingers pressed into Derek's chest, pushing him back to fall against the carpet before Stiles slid a hand around the base of his jaw and gripped, lips crushing back against the alphas. It took Derek by surprise, the sudden change and he whined softly when Stiles rolled his hips and bit down bravely into his bottom lip. The young ranger was strong, with deliberate hands and a finesse that Derek didn't possess. His lips were soft and the way he tilted his head was a calculated maneuver to devour more of the pilot underneath him.
Derek didn't know he had been starving until he tasted Stiles, until he was pulling at the rangers shoulders and trying to catch his breath through the gaps between their lips as they pushed and pried at one another. It was fast, like they were at war with the clock, and Derek couldn't help but shamefully whimper when Stiles pulled away.
Amber eyes blinked down, pupils dilated and lips swollen, only to be graced by the side of his co-pilots face as Derek looked away. The alpha forced himself to lean his cheek against the carpet and try to calm his breathing, only failing once when Stiles slid his hand up the length of his side.
"Derek," his voice mangled the silence and Stiles hovered, staring down at the alpha whose eyes were pointed at the wall. Bony fingers pulled roughly at Derek's chin, and the veteran pursed his lips, narrowing his eyes as he blinked from under a thick line of dark lashes. Stiles tilted his head to the side, the pad of his thumb rubbing across Derek's bottom lip, "what the fuck was that...?"
Green eyes finally moved to Stiles and he swallowed, "I don't know."
Stiles should have been expecting an answer like that, should've stopped himself before he rolled his eyes and his mouth went slack through a sigh, "Seriously? You just-" Stiles sat up, knees on either side of Derek's waist as he looked down, hand raising to run through his hair, "you're not going to acknowledge that we just-" Stiles waved his hands between the two of them and Derek's eyes rolled towards the cieling.
"I acknowledge exactly what just happened," Derek murmured, gaze crawling from the soft shadowed definition of Stiles' stomach to the edge of his clavicles.
Stiles huffed as his cheeks darkened but Derek just watched him, an eyebrow quirked playfully, "I also acknowledge that I am the prettiest pilot-"
"Are you serious-" Stiles interrupted him with a loud groan, pushing the alphas face with the palm of his hand before he stumbled to his feet and snatched his shirt off the ground. Derek had his arm thrown over his eyes and nose to cover his laughter, "Really, Derek? Really?"
Derek simply nodded, snorting, "Yes, really," his voice was choked by a chuckle and he smirked at Stiles from the floor, a part of him hoping that his co-pilot would walk out of his room, another part hoping that he would crawl back onto the carpet with him. Stiles glanced around, babbling angrily about how ridiculous Derek was before he found his glasses underneath the dresser and set them on the bridge of his nose.
"I'm not annoying, by the way," Stiles slid his shirt on, glaring at Derek as the alpha stood and walked towards the bathroom, nodding, "Yes, you are."
Stiles' face burned, his hands trembled and his head was now pounding as the adrenaline from whatever-the-hell had just happened started to dissipate. He stared at Derek for a moment, found his eyes and kept his gaze there, "You're not allowed to act like this didn't happen."
Derek's eyes narrowed and he said nothing, simply looked back at Stiles and shook his head.
"Oh my god, Derek, use your words!" Stiles held his arms out, heaving in breath after breath, only to be acknowledged by the bare flesh of Derek's back, decorated with the spiral of a tattoo and the sound of water running when Hale turned on the shower.
Stiles bit down on his bottom lip as his chest continued to tighten and he grumbled something that Derek didn't catch, closing the door behind him as he walked out and paced down the hall, pausing next to the couch when he noticed that Isaac and Lydia were gone.
"I'm pretty sure that's Derek's room," Erica's voice sounded tiredly from the ground and Stiles tried to keep a smile from leaking onto his face as he glanced down. Blonde hair was splayed messily around her face and she had her hand resting on Boyd's chest, drawing small circles across his abdomen.
Stiles rolled his eyes and shrugged, shaking his head back and forth, "Yes," he mumbled, "That's Derek's room."
"You slept in Derek's room?" the blonde yawned before a grin curled at the the sides of her mouth and she arched a brow dangerously high.
Stiles tensed, lips pursed into a thin line, "Yeah," he bit down on the inside of his cheek and kept his eyes fixed on the woman. She watched him carefully, tilting her head to the side and nodded to him, as if she was asking him something without specifically asking, nudging him along with a flick of her brows.
The beta couldn't help but roll his eyes as the smile he had tried to hide surfaced when he shook his head but her laugh told him that she knew exactly what had gone on this morning.
"Don't you guys have somewhere to be?" Stiles called over his shoulder as he disappeared into his room.
He leaned against the door as he closed it, exhaling a deep breath when his eyes searched the floor for some kind of answer. Any kind of answer.
Deep honey eyes lidded and he ran his fingers through his hair, moving his gaze to the ceiling as he rolled his bottom lip between his teeth again and again, "What the fuck just happened..."
Down the hall, gritting his teeth as freezing water stung at his shoulders and dripped down his back, Derek stood in the shower, eyes closed and breath shallow.
"What the fuck did I just do..."
The next couple weeks were filled with awkward glances and hardly any words. Sometimes when Derek would cook he would poke Stiles playfully in the stomach and other times when Stiles was doing yoga in the mornings, Derek would watch him shyly from the kitchen and Stiles would pretend he didn't notice. It was an on-going lack of communication. A day to day skirting of the subject.
They trained every day but Raleigh had them off of simulation due to the upcoming breach. Their minds needed to be fresh and ready for the Jaeger when the time came for them to rush the field. The thought of it made Stiles' stomach flip, made his insides scream and as much as he wanted to be strong, to be ready. He wasn't. He felt completely unprepared, weak, vulnerable and as encouraging as his quiet co-pilot tried to be, it didn't help. Especially seeing as every time Derek opened his mouth around Stiles, all the co-pilot could think about was that morning. The morning when Stiles should have been smart enough to push Derek off of him. The morning when Derek should have known better than to give in to an emotion that would only compromise them during drift.
They both knew it. They both understood it. But it didn't change Stiles' agitation and it didn't suddenly convince Derek to talk about it.
"Hey," Derek's voice was soft, as usual, and his fingertips brushed along Stiles' lower back as he squeezed by to open the fridge in the kitchen, reaching in to grab a beer. He held one out to Stiles but his co-pilot shook his head. Derek sighed, "Come on," he nudged Stiles hand with the top of the bottle, "tomorrow..." his voice faded but he swallowed, "it's going to be fine."
The molten color of Stiles eyes always made Derek forget to breathe and as they rose to meet his gaze, he stared, fixated on the golden flecks riddled around the betas pupil.
Stiles took the bottle, mumbling a thanks before he looked down, "Is it? Is it going to be fine?"
The words took Derek by surprise, but he nodded, tilting his head to the side as he lifted the bottle to his lips and took a sip, "Yeah, it is."
The younger pilot analyzed him, eyes razor-sharp and completely guarded as he looked to Derek. Stiles wore his worry like scars on his face and tried to conceal his nerves by tapping his trembling fingers against the bottle. He saw it all. He saw how Stiles looked away, hid his anxiety behind an expressionless face and curled within himself.
It was hard to imagine that any time after midnight it could happen. Their phones could ring. The sirens could sound. It could happen. It would happen.
Derek watched Stiles' face, saw him bite down on his lip and saw him flex his hand around the bottle to keep it from shaking. His eyes softened, mouth parted when he took in a breath, "Stiles-"
"Don't," his words were sharp and he put a hand on Derek's chest when the alpha tried to step forward. Gangly fingers curled against the fabric of his shirt, "I know, okay? We're gonna be fine. We're gonna kick ass." He feigned a smile through the last few words which made Derek visibly relax.
"You should try and get some sleep," Derek looked to the numbers shining white on the microwave, "It's late."
It was ten o'clock and Stiles knew he was right. They both needed to sleep, to try and relax. It was an ambitious idea.
Stiles nodded anyways, retracting his hand from Derek's chest before he turned and walked towards his room, desperate to control his emotions, to control anything at all at this point.
He paced, texted Danny, called his Dad, stared at himself in the mirror until he realized he hardly recognized the man looking back. Strong features shadowed by an expression wrecked with doubt, hard, toned body that was still stretched to fit his lean stature. Dark hair was spiked messily this way and that on his head, he raised his hands, still the same, long knobby fingers he'd had since his sophomore year of high school.
The same but different. Familiar but foreign. Young but worn.
Strong but unprepared.
Completely human.
It was twelve twenty-three when the programmed alarm on the clock next to his bed rang out and he glanced at it, reading the words that flashed across the screen.
Category: 4 - Kaminari hyō
Pilots Report To Drivesuit Room Immediately
Prepare For Departure
Stiles couldn't breathe, he couldn't talk, he couldn't do anything except stand and sway in the middle of his room. When he finally did convince himself to breath he inhaled through his nose, exhaled through his mouth and closed his eyes. He wasn't expecting it to be so soon, he wasn't expecting it to be now. His mind screamed, body shook, legs grew weak, but he planted his feet and inhaled again through his nose, out through his mouth.
He threw on a shirt, looked at himself again in the mirror and nodded.
You aren't a coward
The beta said it again and again to himself as the adrenaline continued to make its way deep into his bones, quieting the pleas from everything else inside him to crawl under his covers and pretend to be dead.
Derek didn't knock before he opened Stiles' door and his emerald eyes blinked up to his co-pilot who turned, facing him through a wrecked breath, "I guess we should get out of here."
The alpha nodded before he looked down to something, tossing it to Stiles who stumbled to catch it. The jacket was dark brown leather and he turned it over in his hands, eyes trailing across the emblem on the back. A lion, it's mouth open wide in a dangerous snarl with a grenade set on its tongue, the words Lionheart in red stitched above it. Stiles smirked and arched a brow, "We match." Derek nodded through a half-smile and turned to walk with Stiles out the door and towards the hangar.
They didn't speak. They didn't look at each other. They just went through the motions. Walked across the polished floor where eyes trailed across them, chins raised, shoulders squared, footsteps in time and kept up the facade that they were fearless.
It wasn't until Stiles saw Erica standing with Allison, Boyd, and Scott outside the doors of the Drivesuit Room that he felt his eyes sting and his chest once again begin to burn. He gathered himself in the last few steps, hugging Erica tight and wrapping his arms around Allison when she nuzzled her head into his chest. Scott slung an arm around Derek who was busy glancing around, eyes searching for someone imparticular. Boyd slapped his hand on Stiles' back and leaned forward, "If you need us, you call. You hear me? I don't care what Raleigh or the Marshalls say, we'll suit up, we'll be there."
Stiles swallowed and tried to nod, "I know."
Boyd offered a smile but Erica pulled Stiles' face with her hand, glaring at him from under her lashes, "It's okay," her words were soft and she leaned forward to press her face in the crook of his neck, "Just remember, you're a Jaeger pilot. You're a knight."
Her words sent chills running down his arms and he smiled, shoving her playfully and nodding, "Yeah, yeah..." She smiled, her tongue stuck between her teeth and leaned into Boyd's shoulder as Scott walked up to hug Stiles tightly into his chest.
"We'll see you when you get back," the field specialist's eyebrows flicked and his lips twisted into a fond smile. Stiles stomach felt like it was filled with bats, his mind coiled around the faces of the people in front of him. He engraved each and every one of their features into his mind, from Erica's beautiful blonde curls, to Allison's breath taking smile, Scott's playful bright eyes and Boyd's protective, endearing smirk.
Heels clicked against the floor and Derek almost stumbled as he turned, eyes fixed on Lydia who walked forward with Newt beside her. The red-head hardly looked at Derek, she simply flipped through a few pages on a clip board and hummed quietly before nodding, "Kaminari hyō," her voice was smooth, "that would be 'thunder panther' in Japanese."
Hazel eyes shot sideways to Newt, "As you can see, Newt named this one-"
"That's a bad ass name," he piped, eyeing Lydia as she cleared her throat to continue.
"It's a category four and from the recordings I have here it seems to be pretty large. There's nothing too specific I have to tell you except for that it seems to be feline in nature."
Derek and Stiles nodded through a warm, shaken breath and Derek blinked, fixated on Lydia like she was the only thing in the room. Her bottom lip trembled and it felt like someone had swung a baseball bat into the ranger's lungs.
The red-head hugged Stiles first, brief, with a small smile, before moving on to Derek. She hugged him, but no one understood just how tight, her fingers clawing into his back and her chest shaking. He pressed his nose into the top of her head, closed his eyes. "He'd be proud of you," her voice trembled and it shook him, shook him down to his core.
As the group stepped back and Stiles turned to walk after Derek through the large metal door, he felt a soft hand grip his wrist and pull him back.
Lydia's eyes searched him, her lips parted as she took in a sharp breath, "You take care of him out there." Stiles' eyes stayed on hers, glancing down only once to the dog tags hanging around her neck before he nodded.
Her words were almost too heavy to carry.
The Drivesuit Room was on the top floor of Shatterdome and was the last stop before they were strapped in and set to drift. It was a small room and technicians hurriedly ran around, grabbing the neural registration suits, the black body suits and the outer skeletal armor. The suits were spread out on separate metal tables in front of two designated areas for dressing and un-dressing.
Stiles stood next to Derek as they were wrapped in the strange clothes, black armor clasped tight to their wrists and legs. Metal spines latched onto their backs and Stiles winced when one of the technitians pushed on the top of his chest and the flat of his lower back, locking the mechanism in place. The last thing to be applied was the chest pieces but before they could be ushered off to board to Conn-Pod, Isaac stepped through the door, a clip board in his hands, "Rangers," his voice was sharp and he pulled at Stiles' face, looking him up and down before he turned to Derek.
"You two know the drill, just..." he paused, a small smirk playing across his lips before he gripped Derek's shoulder and patted Stiles on the cheek, "be careful. Avoid Kaiju Blue at all cost; remember that when the Jaeger takes damage you could ultimately be affected."
They nodded and Isaac nodded back, "Get them to Conn-Pod," he glanced over his shoulder to one of the Drivesuit technicians and they flipped a switch on the wall, queuing two large doors to slide open.
The doctor watched them go, saw the slight tremble of Stiles' gloved hands and noticed Derek look over his shoulder, nodding to Isaac once more before the doors shut.
The Conn-Pod was small, metal poles horizontally set from one end to the other. It was circular, dark and private. Stiles' eyes glanced around, from the small control panel set dead-center above the closed window, to the steel grate below his feet. His boots were heavy and as he lifted them into the metal bindings he heard the audible click as they locked into place.
He hadn't looked at Derek yet. He couldn't look at Derek yet.
The Conn-Pod was the cockpit, the helmet so-to-speak of Lionheart and Stiles clenched and unclenched his fists, breathing in and out as evenly as he could before he slid the helmet over his head and finally let his eyes peek over at Derek.
The alpha was looking back at him, forest eyes bright in the dim light, "Stiles," he breathed his name out, eyebrows lifting from behind the confines of his helmet, "are you ready?"
"Yeah," he lied through gritted teeth, flinching as a multitude of lights suddenly sparked to life within the cock-pit. Holograms were spread across the window, Lionheart's stats and her weapons diagram, all lit and bright. Engaged.
A voice came through the speaker above both their heads, "Team Lionheart," the rasp of Raleigh's words made Stiles instantly relax, "We are initiating the drop in twenty seconds, confirm."
"Confirmed."
A moment later Stiles gasped, squeezing his eyes shut as the hydraulics released and Lionheart's large head descended down, rotating into place between the mechs shoulders. The ranger's heart tried to run out of his chest as it beat frantically, anxiety twisting and turning around the adrenaline that had tremors running from his arms to his legs and everywhere in between. Stiles held his breath, kept his eyes shut and reminded himself again and again that if there was any time to be strong, it was then.
He breathed out, the air in his lungs cut into pieces. Raleigh's voice sounded again, "Stiles, Derek, we're initiating the neural bridge in 5..."
Stiles turned, desperate eyes lingering on Derek who nodded slowly, "You focus on me and only me," his voice was clear and firm, "do you hear me, Stiles?"
"4..."
Stiles nodded shallowly as he suppressed the need to hide inside himself, mentally check out. He straightened his back, flinching through a hiss when the large metal cable clicked into place at the base of his neck.
"3..."
"Stiles?" Derek's voice again and Stiles turned, eyes feigning strength as he slid his fingers into the metal slots and gripped, "I hear you, Derek, and I'm here. Only you, only focus on you, I-"
"2..."
Stiles was interrupted by the feminine robotic voice that caused panic to coarse through his veins.
Left Hemisphere Initiated
He opened his eyes, faced the static that blurred his vision and put everything he had into trying to relax. The drift was raw, there was no texture, the balance the simulation had allowed was gone and Stiles felt weightless as he clawed against the steel and metal that was Lionheart's insides. He felt her strength, her density, the power that laid dormant, patiently waiting for him and Derek to take hold of her.
Stiles steadied his breathing and listened, craned himself towards the sounds of Derek's voice as he let the rush of memories pass through him.
The familiar taste of ash in his mouth, the smell of pine trees and the trickle of rain down the bridge of his nose. Stiles had started to fall in love with Oregon through Derek, his vivid, beautiful memories that captured the misty nights he spent starring at the moon from the roof of his house, his first kiss was with a girl against an old tall tree on the outskirts of his high school, snowflakes gathering on her eyelashes in winter-
"Stiles," Derek was calm and reached out through the fog.
It was like electricity, like a thousand volts being shoved into his spine that radiated outwards, ending at the tips of his fingers. Stiles gasped, shuddered from the weight of the memory until he dug deeper, crawled into the space where it originated and found soft hands pressed against his face, a talented tongue stroking feverently against his own and then-
Derek
Stiles' voice. His own voice. It jolted him. Stiles' heart thumped evenly and his cheeks heated when he realized that the memory he had chased was a memory they shared. It was backwards and completely foreign to slide himself into Derek's perspective, to feel what he had felt. To truly understand how disassembled the alpha had been that morning. The affect that Stiles had on him.
It was hard to focus, hard not to close his eyes and lean into the fleeting touch, relive it again and again. But Derek's voice broke through, "Stiles," he tested, prodding gently through the memory until he found it, found the heat, the shattered breathing, the pin prick of goose bumps chased by stumbling fingertips. It was just as hard for Derek to convince himself not to stay.
Right Hemisphere Initiated
The burn took Derek by surprise and he shut his eyes as Stiles' memories lapped against his heels.
It was difficult to focus with Stiles pressing against a shared memory, something the two of them could feel. It wasn't just tangible for one of them, it was completely palpable for both and the familiarity had the potential to throw them off track.
A warm laugh cooed against his ear and Derek's eyes fluttered as Stiles' mother tapped the tip of his nose, the smell of desert and blistering heat nearly suffocated him but the constriction felt safe, it felt like home. He dipped, turned, waded through the memories until he heard Stiles' breath hitch.
Soft lips, the hum of a surprised voice, a sharp exhale through his nose. Derek couldn't help but close his eyes and he held his breath, enamored by how nervous Stiles had been. How completely oblivious he was to his overabundance of appeal.
"Derek," amber eyes flashed through his vision and the alpha gasped, tearing himself away from the inlet where they both had seemed to be caught. Stiles was the first one out and he took his time to steady his breathing, inhaling through his nose, exhaling through his mouth. It was only moments later that his co-pilot surfaced, blinking out over the digital HUD's before he turned his head and found Stiles looking back at him.
The beta cleared his throat, eyebrows flicking from behind his helmet, "You with me?"
Derek couldn't help but smile, "Yeah, I'm with you."
"You two are at 100 percent, keep it that way and let's get the job done, we have Kaminari about a mile outside the breach," Raleigh's voice invaded the cock-pit and Stiles vibrated with energy as he let himself get re-accustomed not only to Derek, but to Lionheart. He had never felt anything like it before, the spark of energy, the rush of power. He felt invincible.
Stiles drank Derek's confidence, parched for his co-pilot in more ways than one. It had been two weeks since they had drifted and being back inside the alphas head was a feat, but welcoming none the less. He could feel Derek's waves of adrenaline, his urgency to fight and his hunger for retribution.
When the two shot their hands forward, Lionheart moved, her shoulders rolling, arms lifting, fingers curling into tight fists. Stiles audibly gasped, his nerves like a storm raging inside him as Derek chuckled, "You alright over there?"
"Jesus... She's insane, this is incredible-"
"Yeah," Derek's voice was sultry, like fine wine being spilt across Stiles' thoughts, "I almost forgot how amazing this was."
Lionheart's fists were raised, and Stiles could see through the paneled window into the control room where Allison stood, hiding a smile behind her folded hands, Erica and Boyd, arms crossed over their chests, nodding approvingly as Scott waved enthusiastically from next to the Marshalls. Raleigh grinned, an arm slung around Mako who watched them through a careful smile. Lydia was next to them, her lips pursed tight, clipboard gripped to her chest. She nodded once, turning as Isaac laid a hand over her shoulder and gripped. All their eyes were fixed on the Jaeger and their two friends who smiled back at them from behind Lionheart's shielded helmet.
It made Stiles' heart sink as his view of them began to shrink when the large mech was wheeled to the front of the hangar.
The Jaeger was beautiful. Brick red armor was sharp and clean with a chest piece that spiked towards her shoulder blades which rounded down to strong forearms loaded with canons. Her helmet was layered with sheets of steel and her hands were like gauntlets, fierce and threatening. Each Jaeger had characteristics that set them apart from the others, a personality so to speak. Lionheart was medieval and exemplified a savage mastery of speed and force. She looked more menacing than the others, all jagged edges and bite. The mech was originally a Mark-4 design but after K-2 she had undergone modifications and was now classified as Mark-5 and ready for combat.
Large steel cables clasped onto the Jaegers shoulders and within a few moments they were hoisted into the air and on their way towards the breach.
Stiles could feel his heart beat in his throat, his fingertips gripped as tight as they could into the metal panels to his left and right. He knew that somewhere underneath the shared excitement and pooled confidence, Stiles' fear was left to fester. The beta pushed the thought away as he heard Derek sigh, "I'm right here," his words were crisp and Stiles blinked over towards him and nodded, "So, what exactly is the game plan here?"
The alpha scoffed, cracking his neck, "We punch it in the face until it dies."
Stiles' eyebrows flicked and he bit back a small smile, "Good plan, big guy."
Wide hazel eyes stared at the floor as Lydia tried to steady her breathing. Her chest ached and her fingertips shook, curled protectively around the dog tags set between her collar bones.
A warm hand brushed across the middle of her back and she inhaled sharply, eyes still fixed on the ground, "Lydia... Hey," Isaac's voice was barely above a whisper and he leaned down to press his hand over her clutched fingertips. "They're going to be fine," he tried to find her eyes but they were long gone, she simply gave a short nod and leaned slightly into the doctor's touch, who rubbed her back gently and brushed his thumbs across her strained white knuckles.
It didn't take long for Allison to find them towards the back of the control room and she sighed, glancing over her shoulder at Scott who looked back, eyes downcast, unaware of what he could do to help the situation.
"Hey," Allison's palm found Lydia's cheek and coaxed the red-head to look at her through glassy optics, "It's gonna be okay. Derek's gonna come back."
She saw the tremble in Lydia's bottom lip, the constriction in the woman's throat. It was one thing for Lydia to be shaken up, for her to be emotional, but to see her so obviously torn, it made Allison feel guilt that wasn't even hers to feel.
"You think they'll be okay out there?" Erica looked to Herc Hansen who nodded immediately, smirking over to his prodiges, "I think they'll be more than okay." Boyd nodded to Herc, "I think they will be too, they just have to keep the drift intact."
Herc shrugged his shoulder towards Raleigh who was talking quietly with Mako and staring at the live feed from Lionheart's camera, "That man," the Marshall sighed softly, "He may be a reckless son of a bitch, but Becket knows talent when he sees it." Soft wrinkles crinkled at the corner of Herc's eyes and he bumped his shoulder into Boyd, "Just like I do."
Erica's smile was light and she leaned into Herc who slung an arm around her shoulder and rubbed the pad of his thumb across her arm.
"Hey," Raleigh's rough voice broke the quiet nervousness in the control room before he walked forward and flipped a switch next to the microphone, "Lionheart, destination reached. Confirm."
"Confirmed."
Stiles' voice was even, more even than he had expected it to be but still accompanied by a run away heart beat and a cluster of vibrating nerves deep in his chest.
It was real. Everything. Everything that he had prepared for, everything he had trained for, what he was chosen for, it was all coming to a head. It was all for a moment, that moment, as the cables were drawn and they stabilized against the ocean floor. The moment when he head Derek's voice shake and felt his primal need to crush whatever mayhem had surfaced on their planet.
Their planet.
This was their planet.
Derek sucked air in through his nose, "Titan Omega, do you copy?"
The blocky Jaeger across from them dropped into the waves and crashed its fists together, the sound of two thick accents invading the Conn-Pod, "Do you purr, lion?" Derek rolled his eyes and Stiles snorted a laugh as he shook his head, "Come on, kitty kitty, let's kill this fucker."
As much as Stiles hated they're casual approach when it came to killing Kaiju, the twins cocky nature eased his erratic nerves. Amber eyes scraped across the ocean, watched the small waves rise and fall against the giant metal beasts. He could feel Derek's heartbeat, followed his impulse to look left, right and back again. Stiles had no problem letting his co-pilot take the lead, it only left him with slack to remind himself to breathe.
It was sudden, the thought. The memory of the day back at Brown. The girl who had screamed in the hall way. The heart wrenching, ear splitting, haunting scream that had plauged his dreams night after night. K-2. Her hunched back, hands digging into her own scalp like they were trying to pierce through bone. Wrecked. Not even close to salvageable. Broken.
"Stiles!" Derek was firm and he stabbed at the betas thoughts, "Don't- not now. Stay here. Stay with me!"
The beta snapped back, heaving shaky breaths before he reached out and gripped, gripped onto Derek's thoughts like they were the only thing he had to hold onto.
Derek gripped right back and the subtle curl of his co-pilot's consciousness coaxed a gentle sigh to slip between Stiles' lips. Just enough to let his eyes close for a moment, enough to allow him the comfort of silence, the safety of thinking that maybe none of this was real. Maybe Stiles would wake up and he would be in his bed, in their apartment, and he would have another day to train. Another day to think, to hope, to pray that maybe life could be simple. Maybe they could think just of the present rather than the count down on the clock.
Maybe things would slow down enough for them to get a good look at each other for once. The world might come to a halt for just a few minutes, enough time that he could replay the way Derek's lips curve up when he smiled, the way his fingers tapped against the cover of his book when he flipped the page, small things that happened too fast. Everything happened too fast.
But nothing happened faster than Kaminari.
A blur. Dark scales surrounded by the sound of the ocean breaking, a howl that made his rib cage crack and fold in on itself, it all happened so fast.
Stiles didn't realized he had his right arm raised until he gasped and opened his eyes, blinking out the window of Lionheart's helmet into the gaze of something far beyond any simulation at Shatterdome. The Kaiju bit down on the mech's forearm, sharp feline teeth gnawing through high-pitched chirping growls. Its narrow head was long and lean, horns curling up from behind two rows of glowing blue eyes.
The beta couldn't feel his fear behind the overwhelming urge to quite literally smash the beast currently latched onto their arm. His teeth gritted, he felt Derek's rage swell, and followed it into the swing of their free arm and bit back a curse as they struck the Kaiju below its throat.
The creature made noises that Stiles could hardly categorize, growls, chirps, purrs, screams, vibrations that sounded like a mixed tape of overlapped cries from animals across the globe. Kaminari crumbled back under the waves before a long spiked tail whipped out and wrapped around Lionheart's helmet, giving a rough pull until the Jaeger was stumbling into the water.
"Fuck-" Derek's voice cut out through the Conn-Pod and Stiles winced when he felt a sudden shock of pain in his shoulder, "Release the coolants!"
Stiles reached to his left and flipped a switch, inhaling and exhaling in short exasperated breaths.
"You're like a cat stuck in a bath tub."
"Shut the fuck up, Aiden!" Stiles growled through the press of his teeth as they reached forward and gripped the Kaiju's tail, "Plasma canon loaded, releasing in 3... 2..."
It was a rush of adrenaline, a flutter of nerves at the base of his spine when the canon fired. The sound it made was deafening and the sound Kaminari made when it connected with the bottom of the Kaiju's scaled back sent shivers climbing into Stiles' stomach. Derek's breathy laugh was the only thing that brought the beta back into the present, "Pulling out the big guns already, Stiles?"
"You're in my head, Hale, don't act like it was a surprise," Stiles scoffed as they took a step back, straightening Lionheart's metal spine against the waves that brushed across their knees, locked in place.
Titan Omega was running forward, propelling themselves into the air with both fists raised before they slammed down onto Kaminari, crunching down on the beast's torso.
Amber eyes scrunched as Stiles winced, listening to the sound of cracking bones and the rising volume of the Kaiju's voice as it was crushed back under the waves. Stiles felt Derek more than he felt himself, felt his desperation, felt the thirst for revenge thick on his tongue and Derek felt Stiles more than he felt anything else, the boil of allure, the shameful curiosity and fearful thrill, a witches brew of emotions that threw them forward, "Mortar guns locked on," Derek's voice was strong and Stiles smirked softly, "Detination in 3...2..."
Titan Omega rose from the waves next to them as the two large field guns rose over Lionheart's shoulders, "...1."
They fired and Stiles held his breath as the missiles tore through the exposed chest of Kaminari when the Kaiju attempted to fling itself, all four clawed feet, in their direction. It was mesmerizing, the heat that instantly cauterized the flesh, the way its body twitched and convulsed in the air, eyes widening with surprise as it tumbled back below the waves.
The alpha's heart beat fluttered and Stiles' chest burned as they stared at the water, watched for any sign of life, any movement, any flick of water that seemed out of place. But there was nothing. Nothing except Derek's breathing and Stiles' trembling hands. Nothing except the static of the over-head in the Conn-Pod and the clank of metal against metal as Titan Omega's fists clashed again and again.
It felt like years of silenced passed between them until Stiles let himself unfurl and a grin pass across his face, amber eyes lidding shut.
"Target eliminated. Welcome to the club, Lionheart," Raleigh's voice felt like a summer breeze and Stiles laughed softly when a flood of warmth passed across his thoughts. He turned his gaze to Derek who stared back, heart thudding against his chest as the alpha desperately tried to gather himself, tried to keep a hold of all the adrenaline, the excitement, the memories that threatened to spill into the drift.
They had made it. They had done it. They were alive.
"Stiles," Derek's voice was as close to a whisper as it could have possibly been.
"Derek," Stiles breathed his name and it tasted like chocolate and coffee and sweet, bitter, renewal.
They looked at each other, braced inside Lionheart, and Stiles tried not to think about what was going to happen next.
It was real now. They were pilots. A team.
And this was only the first fight.
It was overwhelming.
Stiles' thoughts were still wrapped in the metal heart buried inside Lionheart's chest piece and as Erica ran to him, arms pulling him tight to her torso, he could hardly hug her back. His body was still shaking, mind still adjusting to the absence of his co-pilot, subconscious still pacing around like a rabid animal towards the back of his skull.
The adrenaline hadn't varied. The face of Kamanari hadn't left. The pump of blood like hooves running up and down his ribs hadn't calmed.
Even so, he breathed her in. He breathed them all in. Allison's soft cherry perfume, Scott's exuberant voice, Lydia's gentle 'thank you'.
The beta barely heard any of it. Barely felt any of it. He was there, a smile, a breathy laugh, a glance to each of them from behind his glasses, but at the same time he was gone.
"Oh my god, you're still shaking," Allison's eyes were glassy and she held onto Stiles' hands as they trembled, "You need to eat something and relax. Both of you," deep brown eyes shot to Derek who was just as equally overloaded as Stiles.
"Y-yeah," Stiles tried to talk but his words were like acid in his mouth, burning holes in the fabrication of every sentence, eating away at any coherent thought he had.
They stood on the floor of the hangar, Derek next to Boyd who nodded when the alpha told him it went more smoothly than he had anticipated. Stiles knew that it had been easy, knew it had been sheer luck that they weren't dead. He knew that the next time they were in Lionheart they might not come back. He would remind himself of that every day, just like he reminded himself every night that he may not wake up in the morning.
It was a constant flow of push and pull, reality and fantasy.
Human and alien.
Jaeger and Kaiju.
Stiles bit down on his bottom lip, ran his fingers up through the messy locks of his hair and stared at Derek who blinked back over Lydia's shoulder as the woman smiled up at him. She looked relieved. They all looked relieved.
"Oh-ho! Look at the little lions!" Ethan slung his arm around Stiles' shoulder and pulled him roughly, "Next time we fight we'll take you to pride rock-"
"Look, Simba!" Aiden gestured to the group with an exaggerated wave of his arm, "Look at your pride!"
The Titan twins laughed like they were in middle school and Stiles couldn't help but laugh back, shoving the German pilot playfully before Derek nudged Aiden and reached out to grip his shoulder, "You guys were good out there." The alpha was sincere and he arched a brow when the two huffed and wore matching grins, "You too, kitties. We're honored to fight with you, any day, any night."
As cocky and immature as they were, Stiles appreciated the praise and nodded, still unable to properly form words.
Isaac was in front of him before he could protest, a warm hand splayed over his chest. The doctors brows furrowed when he felt the jackhammer of Stiles' heartbeat, "I can get you something," his words were soft, "something to calm-"
"I'll be okay," Stiles cut him off without warning before he took a step back and fidgeted with the pocket of his leather jacket, "I'm just... I'm gonna go chill- or eat, or... I don't know." The ranger tried to breathe again but the oxygen got lost somewhere and his lungs tightened, throat closed. It was too much, much too much, and Stiles could hardly comprehend the rushed words surrounding him, the congratulations, the happiness, the excitement.
He looked to Derek again and his co-pilot nodded, gesturing with a raise of his chin and the flare of his nostrils. Breathe in. Stiles followed. Derek's lips parted and Stiles' did as well. Exhale.
Derek didn't look away when he opened his mouth to speak and Stiles hardly caught his voice when he said, "We need to eat and pack for Vegas-"
"So do we," Boyd looked to Erica who nodded, Ethan and Aiden also nodded.
"Okay, so I'll call you guys," Derek's eyes flicked to Allison, Scott, Lydia and Isaac who nodded, offering smiles to Stiles who was already sneaking away towards the back door of the hangar.
He didn't say goodbye, he simply waved, shooting something of a smile over his shoulder to his friends who were more than understanding of the situation. They watched him go, watched him pace away, turning quickly into the darkness of the early morning.
Long nimble fingers shook violently as he stood in front of their door and tried to get fit the key into the lock. "Fuck..." Stiles voice was a soft whimper and he bit down hard on the inside of his cheek, his thoughts were rolling like thunder across his mind, memories striking down against his nerves like lightening. It was too much. The drift. The fight. The adrenaline. The power-
"Hey," Derek's voice was sharp, but his hand was gentle as he batted Stiles away when he leaned down to unlock the door, "It's okay, I-"
"No, no- this is-" Stiles practically ran into the apartment, turning to face Derek as he paced next to the breakfast bar, "I don't know how to-" The ranger inhaled a cracked breath before he reached up to take his glasses off, setting them down on the counter top and fidgeting to chase them when they almost fell off the edge.
"It's still," Stiles gestured to down to himself, "I can still feel it, all of it."
Derek nodded and Stiles breathed out a sigh of relief when he realized that his co-pilot knew exactly what he was talking about.
The apartment was silent and dark as the air conditioner hummed against the absense of sound. Stiles could hear Derek breathing, could feel his hand brush across top of his shoulder, "Stiles, it's okay." The beta even heard the edge in his voice, the control, and he turned on his heels to face him, amber eyes glaring at Derek like he was the only thing left.
Derek was the only thing left.
His words were exhausted before they even left his mouth, "No, Derek, it's not okay," his voice weathered and Stiles looked away, "You can't- you can't just-" he bit down on his lip, eyes flicking around the alphas face before he finally gave in and gripped at the man's jacket.
Stiles cursed before he pulled Derek forward and collided with his lips. He didn't expect the ranger to respond, but he did, with demanding, desperate force. Teeth clanked as lips slid together in a messy attempt to devour each other, find the cracks, the breaks, the fractures and melt them all back into functional shape. Anything. Stiles needed anything. And Derek was more than that. He was the only thing.
A heavy breath was pushed from between Derek's lips when his back hit the wall and he succumbed as Stiles pawed carelessly at his jacket, letting it fall in a heap by their feet. He wanted to talk, to say something, to explain why this wasn't even remotely close to a good idea, but he wound his fingers into Stiles' hair instead and pulled, forcing the beta to gasp when he sank his teeth into the base of his neck.
It was hard to think, to remember anything except for the wet warmth of Derek's tongue on his throat, or the way the veteran already had his free hand pushed under his shirt, gripping onto his torso like Stiles would crumble if he let him go.
"Der," Stiles swallowed a breath, flinching when his co-pilot pulled at him roughly, angling his head where he wanted it, "D-der, hold, hold on- we," his words were swallowed by Derek's mouth and his voice rumbled dangerously between their lips, sending chills down Stiles' spine that refused to quit. It was hard and bruising and rushed and exactly what Stiles needed but didn't want.
His mind may have been on overdrive, his heart beat erratic, but he yearned to memorize Derek. He wanted to tear him apart inch by inch and sew him back together. He wanted to take his time and unravel him, pick and pull and press and feel until he was sure he knew, until he was positive he had seen.
Stiles didn't want another war with the clock.
The only thing he could think to do was move his hands, press them to Derek's jaw and rub his thumbs across the rough stubble of the man's cheeks. He wanted the heat. Craved it. Was a complete wreck for it, but he knew, Stiles knew, that he wanted to know Derek more. Wanted to capture him like a polaroid and keep him stashed away in his memories.
Because only god knew when they would do this again.
And Stiles didn't believe in god.
"What?" Derek snapped his teeth together before he untangled his fingers from Stiles hair and dropped his hands to his side. The alpha's face was blotched red, pupils dark and wide as he stared at Stiles, worry, wonder, want, all of it, even a bit of denial leaking through into the air between them.
Stiles did nothing but watch him. He watched him try to catch his breath and felt along his bottom lip with the pad of his thumb, flicked his eyes to the strong chest that heaved in breath after breath. A month ago Stiles would have flinched at Derek's tone, at his anger, but now there was a part of him that understood and knew that underneath the alpha's heaving chest was a heart that had been beating just as fast as his own, and behind that pair of jungle eyes was a five-car-pile-up of thoughts that he couldn't digest. Stiles knew that Derek was just as thirsty for an escape as he was.
Amber eyes collected the scars on Derek's face, studied the throb in his throat when the man swallowed and inhaled the warm puffs of air he was breathing against Stiles' mouth.
It was hard to categorize his feelings, to establish any kind of solid emotion with how many of them were rising and falling, licking across the shores of his mind like the tide. It was back and forth, the want to dig his fingertips into Derek, pull him down against the tile floor and the desire to map him out slowly, thoughtfully.
Derek wasn't shy about his impatience and Stiles arched a brow, "We have time," the beta's words were like cashmere but his co-pilot was anything but appreciative. It was the first time Stiles noticed his shaking hands or the tremors in Derek's knees and as much as he wanted to be able to say he was completely in control of his own energy, he wasn't. Not in the slightest.
They stayed like that, eyes glued to each other, Stiles hands gripping Derek's face until calloused fingertips finally inched forward to touch the beta again. Derek was trembling as his hands rested under the rangers shirt, pressing up along the soft skin. It was slow and it caused the ache in Stiles' stomach to swell until he finally gave in and leaned forward, rolling his hips into Derek who gripped harder, eyes squeezing shut, "This isn't a good idea."
Stiles blinked, "...what?"
"This," Derek's hands tightened, mouth brushing carefully against Stiles' as he spoke, "this could potentially get us killed."
Stiles' heart was beating like a drum in his chest and he swallowed, unable to suppress the breath that was pushed out of him when Derek let his hands fall, hooking his thumbs under the waist band of the beta's jeans, "Does that bother you?"
He hadn't expected to sound as confident as he did, and Derek's brow rose as a smile teased at the edge of his lips, "Marginally."
Stiles' laugh was stifled when Derek pressed his mouth against the beta's, all fight and no rythym. They were clumsy, stumbling down the hall towards Stiles' room, pausing every couple feet to push one another against the wall. Stiles' jacket and shirt were discarded somewhere along the way, and Derek's shirt got caught on his shoulder, earning a growl from the alpha and a small smirk from the beta who finally threw it to the ground, "Aren't you highly trained in patience, can't you-" Stiles lost his words when Derek bumped the door of his room open with his hip and tugged him into the darkness.
It was as if they were still lost somewhere inside the steel panels between Lionheart's shoulder blades, twisting and winding through the gears and circuitry. Derek's back fell into the red comforter and Stiles hands landed on either side of his arms as he slid his abdomen against the alpha, the quiet rumble of a growl leaking from the young pilot as he captured Derek in an open-mouthed, needy kiss. It was apparent that Derek didn't like to admit that he was more than pleased with Stiles exerting his strength, and he blushed furiously, skating a hand down Stiles back when he leaned down and buried himself behind Derek's ear.
Derek bit down on his lip when his co-pilot hummed, lips trailing across the curve of his throat to the dip below his shoulder. Stiles' mouth was warm and felt like feathers against the tough, scarred skin that Derek was quite ashamed of. He hated every single reminder, every niche, every circular burned scar that littered his chest. He didn't want to go there; he didn't want to think of Jackson or of the Kaiju blue that hit his flesh when the canon misfired, he needed to stay here, in this moment. He needed to stay.
Stiles' teeth grazed across his side, teeth sinking painfully into Derek's ribs until he heard a strangled whine and felt the alpha arch off the bed. Honey eyes flicked up and Stiles' brow rose playfully. Derek glared at the ceiling, cheeks heated before he grumbled 'shut up' and pursed his lips into a thin line. It wasn't hard to embarrass, Derek, Stiles had figured that out early on in their relationship, but he had never expected him to be bashful. Stiles gripped his waist and bit down again, harder, dragging blunt teeth across his ribcage until he could hear Derek try to hold his breath, "Fu-" the curse was pierced with a wrecked moan that Stiles could hardly handle.
To have the opportunity to watch Derek unfurl beneath his hands obliterated his self-control.
"You're always quiet, stop being quiet," Stiles hissed breathlessly, tugging at his jeans until he could get his mouth on the sharp bone of Derek's hip. The ranger gasped when Stiles' teeth pulled across his abdomen and green eyes squeezed shut.
Before he could even get his hands on Derek's belt, Stiles was hauled up by his arms and shoved down against the mattress, "Don't tell me what to do," Derek's voice was sharp against the beta's parted lips. He nudged at the soft skin on his co-pilots throat, rubbed his stubbled cheek against the flesh until the ranger beneath him squirmed. Amber eyes closed and Stiles said nothing, simply enjoyed the way Derek made his blood boil whenever he laid his hands on him, reveled in Hale's lingering breaths against the base of his throat and tried not to buck his hips when the alpha pressed his knee between his thighs.
Derek wasn't careful or precise. He was like an out of control forest fire, burning and hungry to mangle anything in his path. Stiles couldn't breathe when Derek slid a hand underneath him and pressed on to his lower back, beckoning his hips to rise into an eager pair of lips that mouthed at the button of Stiles' jeans. His temperature had spiked, light caramel eyes lidded until Derek finally popped his pants open, enticing a soft laugh from Stiles, "Where the fuck did you learn how to do that?"
"High school summer camp," Derek's voice was mumbled against the all-too soft skin of a lean stomach before he glanced up through a crooked smile, enamored by the sight of Stiles with his arm thrown over his face and his eyes shut. The bed dipped next to Stiles' shoulders and he kept his eyes closed when he felt Derek's breath fall shallowly across his mouth. Rough fingers walked their way up the inside of Stiles arm, tickling across the faint groups of freckles that lived there until he found his palm and laced his hand through the gaps between his co-pilots bony fingers.
The room was dark but when Stiles opened his eyes he found the outline of Derek's nose, the swell of his bottom lip and the flutter of his eyelashes. It was hard to bite his tongue, hold back the praise that threatened to fall from his throat. The beta wanted more than anything to tell Derek how beautiful he was, to describe in detail exactly what he looked like, press pause, rewind, find elaborate pieces of poetry to throw at him and to make Derek understand that even in the dark he was blinding.
Stiles' was stills shaking, heart occupied in keeping up with his speedy thoughts. He swallowed down the anxiety, "Viens ici," his voice was a whisper and he gripped onto Derek's hand as the alpha laid his weight down, hips grinding into Stiles hard enough to pull a broken gasp from the nervous wreck underneath him. "I said come here," Stiles tried to be gentle but when Derek rocked his hips forward the only thing he could focus on was how completely clothed they still were and how ridiculous that was.
The crash of lips, slick slide of Stiles' tongue, Derek's unruly movements, the burn below his rib cage, quiet whimpers that caused them both to flush.
Stiles growled, "Okay," he spoke between Derek's lips, pressing and pulling until he untangled his fingers that were pinned above his head and reached down to fumble with the alpha's belt. Derek bit down on his throat, stilling his hands for a moment until his mouth busied itself with Stiles' lips again, allowing him to stumble along at his waist.
It didn't take long for Stiles to get frustrated, for him to blush and curse and twist underneath Derek until he finally huffed, pulling away, "Are you wearing a fucking chastity belt, like how do you get this thing off, I can't-" Stiles hissed, continuing to pull at the leather strung through the belt loops on Derek's jeans.
Derek barked a laugh against his lips which made Stiles turn his face away and spit curses at him, thoroughly horrified at his lack of sexual allure. The alpha sat up with his legs on either side of the ranger beneath him. He didn't want to stare as his co-pilot easily pulled his belt off and tossed it away, but he did, amber eyes drank in the pointed curve of Derek's hip to the pale shadows lingering over the curved muscle in his abdomen. He watched his shoulders rise and fall with each inhale and exhale, studied the twitch in his lip when he smiled. Derek couldn't even comprehend the power in that smile and Stiles believed with all his might that the soft curve of those lips could conquer just about anything.
When Derek fell back against Stiles he pressed down, bare skin melding together as their lips met in another desperate kiss. Stiles' tilted his head, hand moving to tangle in Derek's hair as he twisted, mismatched socks pushing at the man's stubborn jeans. His heart jumped painfully at the sudden intrusion of the alphas palm, sliding down his stomach, leaving a scorching path in its wake until the tips of his finger slipped just beneath the soft grey denim of Stiles' jeans. The beta lifted, a small sound breaking over the pillow of his tongue, encouraging, pleading for him to continue.
Swollen lips spread against the ranger's cheek and Derek opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by the rap of knuckles against the front door.
Derek's eyes flew open. Stiles' stared up at him, wide and unblinking.
They froze, held their breath until the knocking sounded again. Derek's eyes were apologetic and Stiles shook his head, "Derek, don't you dare- do not," his words were rushed and he snapped his teeth when the alpha sat up, "If you get out of this bed I'll fill your shower with Kaiju ticks, I'm not even kidding right now, I-"
Green eyes rolled and Derek sighed as he stepped onto the carpet, listening to Stiles' curse at him in a foreign language as he walked towards the living room.
Stiles didn't move. He didn't breathe until his body reminded him to and he bit down on his bottom lip as hard as he could. Echoes of Derek still bounced across his body, melted into his flesh, left him blotched and flushed on top of the comforter in his room. Amber eyes glanced over at the clock.
7:02 a.m
Fingers ran up through his hair and he dug blunt nails into the base of his skull. What the fuck. His thoughts were chewed up again, jumbled and cycloned between Derek's mouth and the fact that the Kaiju looked surprised when it died, from hot breath against his chest to shaking devastation in the drift. He had escaped it for a moment but as soon as he had a chance to think again, it all came rushing back.
Inhale through the nose, exhale through the mouth.
The beta sat up and looked down at himself, arching a brow when he saw the soft blossom of bruising on his waist. Nerves fluttered over his bones, stole the breath from him when he blinked again and again. Derek did that. Derek Hale. His co-pilot.
"Fuck..." he buried his head in his hands and wondered briefly whether or not this was something he would regret.
Derek unlocked the door and cracked it open, peeking his head around the edge only for it to be shoved open by Erica who heaved an irritated sigh, "Fucking finally, Jesus, I've been standing... out..." her eyes trailed from Derek's bare chest to the jacket next to the wall and then to the shoes kicked lazily in the hallway across from an inside out shirt, "...here..."
"No," Derek's voice was sharp and he pressed a hand to her lower back, pushing her towards the door. His cheeks were tinted and the blonde twisted against his arm, a grin spread across the pilots face, "You..." she poked a finger on the ring of indentations on his side where Stiles had bit, "...are in so much trouble."
"Leave," the alpha hissed, pushing her again but Erica was quick and squirmed away, her heeled boots clicking against the tile as she bounded down the hall.
Her laugh was loud in the quiet house and she kicked Derek's shirt out of the way before crashing through the doors. Stiles' head snapped forward and he inhaled sharply, lips falling open when he saw the beaming white of Erica's grin. He didn't know what to do, whether he should laugh or yell or deny everything up and down until he was red in the face, but all he could do was stare like a deer into headlights.
Erica hummed, "I knew it!" She pointed her index finger at Stiles who rolled his eyes and tried to stop himself from smiling.
Broad shoulders loomed behind her and Derek grabbed her wrist, swiftly pulling her back towards the kitchen.
"Oh, would you calm down! I didn't come here to," she waved her hand at the mess in the hallway, "interrupt! I came here to one, check on him," she pointed again at Stiles who had his eyes closed, desperately wishing he could disappear, "and two, to tell you guys that we have a briefing with the Marshalls at one and we have a plane to catch at five, so pack and get ready."
"Erica," Derek's voice was soft before he hauled her towards the door. He blinked at her and she blinked back through an arched brow. He tilted his chin down and breathed out a shaky sigh.
"Stop, Hale," her voice was a whisper and she pressed her hand to his shoulder, "We'll talk later." Her eyes darted over his shoulder as Stiles slowly made an appearance, lips softly parted as he looked to Erica and tried to smile. She smirked, "Nice," she tapped the side of her neck and gestured to Stiles who slapped his palm over his throat, covering the purple circle below his ear, lips drawn into a thin line.
Derek's eyes rolled towards the ceiling and he pushed her towards the door, "See you at one," his voice was a growl and all he got in return was her laughter before he slammed the door and locked it once again.
Stiles didn't know what to do. He didn't know what to say or if he should say anything at all. The only thing he knew was that Derek was watching him carefully, eyes darting around his face until he was walking forward and Stiles couldn't help but look at the ground. He hated the unknown, the chance that Derek might tell him that it was a mistake, heat of the moment, a way to cope or even worse that he would be graced with silence.
But Derek did neither, he simply picked up Stiles glasses from where they were sat on the breakfast bar and placed them gingerly on the bridge of his nose.
"We should get ready," his words were soft, like they always were, and Stiles couldn't help but bite down on his lip.
"No we shouldn't," it was one of the first times he hadn't meant to be brave and amber eyes lifted to stare at Derek from under thick dark lashes.
Derek snorted a small laugh; fingertips trailing along Stiles' lower back as he walked passed him, "Go take a shower, Stiles."
Stiles chewed on the inside of his cheek, mulled over the idea of following the alpha into his room and insisting that they shower together, but his mind blurred, eyes turned to look down the hall as Derek closed the door behind him, and quietly reminded himself that this wasn't a good idea.