The time it took for Erica to allow people into the room with her was long and draining. Stiles could feel the tension rolling off of Allison's shoulders every time she shifted, could sense the distress in Scott's fingertips when he rolled them together and tried not to think about the worry riddled underneath Derek's flesh as he rested his forehead into the curve of his co-pilot's collar bone. When the woman did nod to Boyd and sent for them, they all came walking in, weak and waiting for an outburst- defending themselves from the fire they expected her to breathe. Because Erica was like a silent volcano, dormant and repressed for the most part, but completely capable of destruction.
However, Stiles was graced with puffy red eyes and a soft smile curved up from chapped pink lips. Erica had the blanket up over her stomach and Boyd had brought her a hair tie so she could at least try and make herself look a tad bit put together. Derek knelt down next to her and she reached out to touch his face when he put his chin on the edge of her bed. There was a soft sound- the click of her tongue against the roof of her mouth as she watched him, whispered 'hi' and tapped him on the nose. Allison was disheveled, makeup all smudged around her eyes, nose stuffed and lashes all clumped together but Erica reached for her with her other arm and the combat specialist leaned down to cocoon long lean arms around the ranger like a cage.
Erica's eyes looked worn as she pushed them up to stare at Stiles who stood at this edge of her bed with his fingertips gently pressed against her heel. She shifted her foot and he gripped, "Welcome back," the words were soft and Stiles hardly knew if he'd meant to say them or not, his control over what came out of his mouth seemed to be off as of late, but she smiled again and cleared her throat.
"I never left," the woman's voice was hoarse and cracked under the weight of each word but Stiles smirked and Scott nodded from beside Allison, because it was true. She had never left them.
The group spent time with her; Raleigh and Mako showed close to an hour later and praised her for her actions on the field. Mako sat on the edge of her bed and felt along the curves of Erica's cheeks, called her beautiful, made her feel. That's what Mako did, though. She brought the emotion back into the empty spaces left behind.
When Lydia was brought up, Isaac assured that she would be back soon and was off doing research for her newest idea which most of them seemed to be curious about. The doctor wouldn't release any details, seeing as the ones he was let in on weren't even that set in stone to begin with.
The twins cracked jokes, made her laugh and sigh- which was everything that Stiles wanted to see. He craved the Erica that arched her brow and spit wit like acid, the Erica who tossed her hair over her shoulder and prided herself in the ability to drink each of them under the table. That was the Erica that Stiles prayed wouldn't have burned under the influence of the Kaiju blue and the relief he felt at the sight of her grin could have melted his bones.
Raleigh was the one to explain what happened and Boyd pulled a chair up next to her bed and held her hand as they went over the story. She stared down at her chest the whole time, nodding once or twice until he concluded and raised a hand in mock surrender, "We're going to figure this out but to be honest we've hit a dead end."
Dr. Lahey cleared his throat, "Lydia and those mad men will come up with something," he assured.
Erica's lips were parted and she glanced around the room a couple times before letting her gaze rest on Boyd, "How long until we can fight?"
Stiles felt Derek lean into him and he looked blankly at the floor. They all knew the answer- could feel that she knew the answer too, but no one spoke. Not until she nearly choked on the reality of it all. The sound was like getting punched in the chest and Stiles closed his eyes when her chest convulsed and she gasped out something of a sob, eyes wide and lips shaking, "I... I can't fight, can I?"
Wide un-blinking eyes turned to Isaac and then to Herc who was watching her carefully with his arms folded across his chest, "I'm losing my wings?" Erica whimpered.
Derek's hand bumped against Stiles' fingertips and Stiles gripped them tenderly. It was strange to think of himself all those months ago with his mind wrapped around the idea that being a pilot was a burden, a consequence, but in reality, as he kept his eyes on the ground and away from Erica, he had come to realize that the punishment of being a Jaeger pilot was losing the ability to be inside your Jaeger.
It was like losing a limb- like being ripped out of yourself and forced to live a life without the safety of the armor that had melded itself to your flesh. Stiles could hardly stand to think of what it would be like to have Lionheart taken from him; the only thing worse would be losing his co-pilot.
"No," Isaac soothed, "of course you aren't losing your wings but we need to make sure your body can handle the strain of Striker. It'll..." he paused and nodded solemnly, "It will be a little while, Erica. A few months."
She only relaxed slightly, lips pursed into a thin line before she gave a curt nod and stared back down at her hands which were covered lovingly by Boyd's palms. What she wanted to say was obvious. It was obvious to every single person in the room.
They didn't have a few months.
Stiles felt Derek's foot bump against his own and exhaled in his direction, honey eyes finding their way to Hale's gaze as he looked over and blinked. They didn't say anything, no one did. Stiles just reached out and squeezed Erica's foot again- a gesture only acknowledged by the swift bat of her lashes.
It was December, Stiles reminded himself bitterly as his feet hit the fast moving treadmil beneath him, and he wondered exactly where Halloween and Thanksgiving had gone. He called his dad, talked to friends back at Brown, but nothing was done. There was no celebration. Tables weren't covered in batches of home cooked food and no one was wondering how they were going to get their hands on fake blood or head bands riddled with different animal ears.
Maybe it was because they were more concerned with real blood and furthering the human existence that shook the group out of an ingrained set of holidays. Maybe that was how the days that used to be spent with family simply slipped by and ghosted over them like hushed memories.
Derek was across the gym lifting weights and Stiles thought back to a few of the flashes he had seen in his dreams or on the field. The Black Keys were playing in his head phones and he smiled fondly as the thought of Derek dressed as the Green Lantern for his eleventh Halloween filled the spaces behind his eye lids. How his mother cooked wild pheasant and made mashed sweet potatoes every Thanksgiving and how he kissed a girl names Kate one New Years in high school- it was the last female he'd ever kissed.
There was something so strange about falling out of the life he had been raised in and tumbling blindly into another but Stiles was finally starting to understand the reality of it all and he no longer questioned where his place was.
Hale glanced up, eyes flicking to his co-pilot who was slowing down a brisk walk and taking a sip off the water bottle to his left, and ran his fingers through sweat drenched locks. He nudged his chin towards the door and Stiles nodded when Derek turned and headed for the exit.
Stiles kept walking, stretched, and followed after him about ten minutes later with his head phones still pushed snugly into his ears. There was something about being turned off, tuned out, on auto-pilot that allowed him to sink inside himself and re-evaluate the situation at hand. The Kaiju. The breach. Lydia being gone. A new plan.
People darted this way and that, the hallways were crowded, a few of the mechanics that had worked on the Jaeger's nodded at Stiles who smiled back. He cut through the Hangar to take a look at Lionheart on his way out and found himself with his neck craned staring up at her for five minutes before someone prodded him in the arm and shook him from his trance.
"Hey!" Scott tugged on the cord of his head phones and Stiles' brows flicked up, tongue darting out to wet his lips before he turned off his music and tucked his phone and headphones away.
"Oh- hi, hey. I was just... looking, I guess," Stiles stammered, honey gaze flickering up to Lionheart's deep brick red armor once again, "she looks great."
A strong arm was slung over Stiles' shoulders and he couldn't help but grin as Scott tugged on him, swaying him back and forth, "Yeah, she does!" Scott exclaimed, "We've got her all fixed up for you two. Reinforced armor, new hydraulics, awesome new shock system in the legs and boots," the mechanic gestured to Lionheart's bottom half and nodded swiftly to himself, "Fixed your mortar guns, too."
Stiles nodded slowly, large eyes trailing across the polished armor. Lionheart was beautiful in such an incredibly dangerous way and the ranger couldn't help but want to crawl back inside her and get lost between the metal bindings. He wanted to propell himself into the drift and rip something apart- rip a Kaiju apart. Tear them all into bits and pieces.
He would think of Erica the entire time, just like Derek always thought of Jackson.
It hurt- and Stiles could taste blood in his mouth just from the thought because they hadn't lost Erica and Stiles hadn't lost his co-pilot, the idea that he could ever imagine the feeling, even if he had felt it himself in Derek's distant memories, made him sick.
Scott patted the top of his shoulder and smiled gingerly, "You alright, buddy?"
The beta nearly jumped out of the pre-back lash he had practically hurled himself into and stammered, "Uh, oh, y-yeah, yeah, I'm good... I'm just gonna head back to the apartment and then I guess were meeting up with Lydia when she gets back on base tonight. Are you visiting Erica anytime today?"
McCall nodded, "Yeah, Allison is going to try and get her in a walker, see if we can maybe get her down to the regeneration hall."
Stiles and Derek had spent all morning with her, allowing Boyd some time to sleep in a bed and take a shower. She told lazy stories, laughed and winced and cried a few times, but Stiles didn't mind. He laughed along with all of her vulgar jokes and smoothed her hair out of her face when it fell over her shoulder.
It was almost comforting to find how easy it was to slip back into the shoes of a care-taker, even if he hadn't sat at someone's bed-side in almost ten years.
God, ten years.
A lump scratched and swelled in Stiles' throat, but he swallowed it down with the rest of their reality and tried to smile, "Good, well, I'm sure we'll see you in the lab, at what? She said-"
"Nine thirty is when she's supposed to get back," Scott nodded.
Stiles sighed and smiled to Scott as he took his leave, throwing one last glance to Lionheart before making his way out of the hangar.
"Hungry?" Derek piped over the sound of something sizzling in a pan on the stove.
Stiles' nostrils flared and he inhaled, enjoying the sting of Cajun spices and herbs that popped and cracked against the chopped vegetables Derek had put together. He nodded, shrugging the dark brown leather jacket off his shoulders before he took a seat at the bar and watched his co-pilot.
There was something so comfortable about the way Derek slouched and leaned into the counter, licked the top of his fingers and hummed softly against the static of cooking food and the quiet television playing in the back ground. Something about the scene made Stiles wonder if a future was attainable, and if he had the chance to have one, would he live it with the man in front of him? Strange really, because Stiles hardly blinked at the idea of going through the rest of his days with Derek at his side. It seemed like an equation that he'd never knew needed to be solved suddenly displaying an answer to him, installing a deeply ingrained purpose- a sole desire to never live a day without Derek Hale.
It terrified him.
"Stiles-" Derek's eyebrows were knitted together and he tossed a dish rag into the sink before he walked around the side of the bar where Stiles was sitting with his face in his hands, inhaling and exhaling again and again. It wasn't a panic attack- not nearly as bad, but it was close and the veteran pilot frowned when Stiles shook his head and batted at Derek's hands when they reached for him.
"I'm-" Stiles swallowed, "I'm fine, just," he gulped down a breath of air and set his glasses down next to him, thumb and index finger pinching the bridge of his nose, "give me a minute."
The alpha took a step back, hand still resting on Stiles' shoulder as he peeked up at Derek from under his lashes. What the fuck was he supposed to say?
"Do you wanna talk about it?" Derek's lips twitched into another frown and he paced over to the counter to click off the stove and give the vegetables a quick stir, "I understand if you don't, things haven't been easy and I-"
"What're you gonna do if we live?" Stiles blurted, "like, where-" he sighed, hands lifting to swing through the air, "where do you see yourself if all of this gets sorted out?"
Hale was quiet for a minute, his eyes flicking between the two plates he had grabbed from the cabinet as he piled the vegetables and brown rice on to each. He set one in front of Stiles and stood with his own, pushing around a few pieces of broccoli.
Stiles looked down at his plate before he closed his eyes and sighed through his nose, mulled over the question he had just asked and realized how ridiculous it sounded. He could feel it in his stomach, coiling and bouncing, causing his nerves to shift and shake.
"Back in Oregon," Derek answered softly, "hopefully somewhere at least near you in some way. I hope that isn't out of the cards if this does end, I hope-"
"I want to stay," there came the words again, quick and stubborn as they fell out of Stiles' mouth, "I want to be-" he huffed, cheeks darkening and eyes rolling, "I can't not be with you. It doesn't feel right, it doesn't sit right and I don't know if it's because I love you or because we're drift compatible and god, Derek- I don't," he stopped, eyes squeezed shut once he realized just how much had escaped before he could seal his lips back together.
Derek was quiet, nodding even as Stiles slowed himself down.
"I don't want you to be stuck tied to me for the rest of your fucking life because you were forced into something by Raleigh."
The TV sounded distant, a soft vibration behind the quiet the filled the room before Derek scraped his fork against the plate and nearly growled, eyes rolling heavily in their sockets, "What the-" he snapped his teeth together, "Are you fucking kidding me?"
Stiles' blush deepened and he stuttered out another few words that didn't make any sense before Derek set the plate down and paced, "Are you doing this right now because of everything that's been going on? Is this something we really need to discuss right now?"
"You're my co-pilot, Derek! This is a little impor-"
"Is it? Because we could die, Erica needs us, I need you, everyone fucking needs us and you're here making me second guess something that I can hardly understand anyways, what-" the veteran pilot rumbled deep in his throat, "what the fuck do you want? Do you want a co-pilot, do you want a boyfriend, do you want me, do you want to be a Jaeger pilot in general? Because since we went down on the field you've been acting like I'm-"
"Like you think you're in love with me!" Stiles hissed, pushing his plate away and standing, "It's just the drift, it's our bond, it's-"
"Is it?" Derek nearly sang sarcastically, eyes rolling towards the ceiling, "Is that what it is, huh? Because, Stiles, I can't fucking stand you sometimes. There are times where I want to rip your fucking head off but-" he inhaled sharply through his nose and Stiles felt his teeth set hard and grind together, "but then you sing in the fucking shower-" he almost choked on how absurd the words sounded coming out of his mouth, "and you eat like a rabbit, you kick the sheets everywhere in the bed, and you-"
Stiles bit down on his bottom lip, fingers curled into fists where they trembled at his side.
"You talk to me in languages that I can't understand," Derek breathed, "and you know loss," his voice quieted, "you can't ever control yourself, you're completely volatile."
"Fuck you," Stiles snapped bitterly.
"And I love you for some fucking reason," Derek sighed the words angrily, "at least I'm man enough to fucking admit when I feel something, Stiles."
He turned to walk away, down the hall, bare feet pounding against the tile. The tips of Stiles' ears were red, his cheeks and chest were blotched and he almost spat, "I knew I wanted you the second I saw you through that window," he shoved the tall chair back under the bar, "but it's a bit hard defining feelings these days when you're literally all I can fucking feel!"
Derek stopped, chin tipped up over his shoulder as Stiles walked towards him.
"I love you, that's clear as fucking day, Hale. I told you that yesterday; I told you that in drift, I've shown you that each and every time-"
"Then why are we arguing?" Derek turned swiftly, voice even and firm, "Why are you doing this then, Stiles? What reason do you have-"
The beta fidgeted with his nail beds before he stomped his foot and waved his hands between the two once again, "Bojim se!"
The alpha shrugged his shoulders.
Stiles felt his head start to spin, his lungs burned and he bit down hard on his bottom lip before he finally gave in. His body was tired. His mind was tired. His heart was tired. And if this man was going to die with him then he might as well live with him if they get the chance.
So he was honest, "I'm scared," he clarified quietly, honey eyes searing into Derek's as they stood in the hallway outside of his room.
Derek's lips parted and his eyes fell to the floor, searching his own bare feet for something to say. He reached out his hand, left his palm open and waited until he felt Stiles' hesitant fingertips reach his skin.
There wasn't a breath between them before Derek was tugging him into a tight embrace, warm hand shoved under Stiles' shirt, the other curled around the back of his neck. Stiles' glasses fell askew on the tip of his nose and he could hardly look at his co-pilot who shook him slightly and rumbled a growl, "Stiles."
The beta lifted his eyes and felt something like relief flood across the bundled up nerves settled in the pit of his stomach.
"I'm always scared... But I'm not scared of you," Derek's words were a soft breath against the side of his face and when Stiles nodded, a sudden agreement, an understanding, he was captured roughly by a pair of chapped lips.
It was the truth. The only truth.
They were scared.
They were fucking terrified.
But Derek didn't have to fear Stiles.
And Stiles didn't have to fear Derek.
Stiles pressed himself into the contours of Derek's body, felt the ridges of a scar start to form over his brow, whispered a quick 'sorry' when the alpha flinched at a bruise being handled on his hip. He had always felt like fire to Stiles, something constant and burning and not completely solid. But that afternoon his skin was soft and warm under Stiles' hands, he felt breakable and damaged and just a little bit like home and a lot like his own completely fucked up version of a happy ending in a time where happy endings were just folklore.
They were the means to the end, the palpable opposite of their own fate and it had taken Stiles far too long to understand that.
Lydia's heel tapped impatiently against the linoleum floor of the lab.
Raleigh fiddled with Mako's fingertips.
Isaac brushed his hand across Lydia's waist and Scott watched the stranger from Brown tap against the glass of one of the test tubes across the room.
Allison sat next to Erica who was squirming and hissing in her wheel chair, Boyd was rubbing her shoulders.
Chris looked down to his watch.
Herc pulled at the zipper of his jacket.
The twins were both on their cell phones.
Hermann scolded Newt for breaking is favorite pen.
"Where the fuck are they?" Lydia finally hissed, "Call them again."
Green eyes pointed to Isaac who was already fishing his phone out of his pocket.
"Don't," Stiles gasped, fingernails digging into the flesh on Derek's shoulders.
Derek snaked his arm back around Stiles' waist and ignored the sound of the phone ringing on the night stand.
He listened to the way Stiles breathed instead, listened to the small sounds that dripped from his lips, the whispered encouragements. Derek moved his hands like clockwork over the spaces that left Stiles shaking in his arms, traced along the curve of his collar bone with the point of his tongue and enjoyed every short breath that was punched out of the man underneath him.
Stiles writhed and clawed, sank his teeth into any area of flesh that he could find on Derek and held on. His fingers were long and nimble, reached here and there to grip and bruise the places on his co-pilot that no one else would see.
When they finally did get around to looking at Derek's phone, Stiles nearly fell off the bed and scrambled to get dressed.
"We're shit friends, you know that?" Stiles rasped, stumbling to tug his jeans on as Derek tried to fix his hair into something acceptable.
"Yeah, we are," Derek mumbled through a short laugh, hands brushing over Stiles' waist when he bent down to grab one of Derek's shirts out of his drawer.
"No," Stiles snapped, batting at Derek's hands, "Stop it, get dressed-" he bit down on his lip, eyelashes fluttering when his co-pilot gripped harder, "I'm going to put Kaiju ticks in your shower if you don't stop, we'll be stuck here for another hour-" Stiles squirmed out of the alpha's grasp, fighting the urge to laugh when he heard Derek smirk quietly.
Stiles' phone started ringing as he was grabbing his glasses off the breakfast bar and lacing up his boots, "I know," he answered, "We're coming, I'm so sorry, we just-"
Lydia was spitting curses at them from the other end of the phone and Stiles was rolling his eyes, "We're on our way right now!"
The phone went silent and Stiles shook his head to Derek who shot him a curious glance.
The alpha shrugged, a twisted grin curving the edges of his lips upright as Stiles rolled his eyes.
Stiles ran his fingers through his hair and almost tripped when he pushed the door to the lab open. Derek followed behind him, fumbling to zip up his leather jacket, "Sorry we're late we..." Stiles' voice trailed off when Raleigh barked out a laugh and pointed to the alpha whose eyes widened.
"Nice, Hale," Becket shook his head, cooing on his own laughter as he gestured to Derek's throat, which had been marked by a rather large darkening bruise. Deep forest eyes narrowed and snapped to Stiles who was biting down hard on his bottom lip and trying to hide the blotchy blush from frosting the tops of his cheeks even worse.
Erica started laughing from her wheel chair and Stiles could hear Scott start to snicker into Allison's shoulder, who had a hand up over her mouth. Aidan and Ethan grinned and nodded, eyebrows arched as they mumbled something in German to which Stiles hissed 'fuck you' in response to under his breath.
Chris rolled his eyes and Herc shrugged his shoulder towards Boyd and Erica, "Those two are worse," he mumbled to the other Marshall who shook his head.
There was a moment when Stiles opened his mouth to ask what they were all meeting to discuss, a moment when he was going to ignore the playfulness of his friends and jump straight to buisiness but a loud yelp pulled his attention to the back of the room.
Stiles felt something in his chest drop, his eyes burned and he nearly choked when he watched Danny stumble backwards away from a large tube where a tentacle had slapped against its side. He wanted to fall straight into beleiving that it was some kind of side-effect from drift, another way to completely shatter his own reality. But Danny was there, a hand splayed across his own chest as he tried to steady his breathing because the Kaiju intestine had startled him.
"Can we just get to the point?" Lydia reached over to grab her papers and glanced over her shoulder where Danny was now fiddling with his thumbs, looking extremely out of place and completely overwhelmed. "Come here, Mr. Mahealani-"
"Danny...?" Stiles tested, fingertips brushing over the top of Derek's hand as he walked by, eyes searching the warm skin on his best friends face.
Danny turned sharply, dark eyes widening when he saw Stiles almost knock over a few stack of paper work to get by, "Stiles- holy shit, Stiles!"
The fond expression that blanketed across Derek's face was soft and full of the ut-most compassion. He had met Danny countless times in Stiles' memories, seen the strength of their freindship and watched it grow over their years together in college. His own heart strings pulled at the sight of the young man, not only because he could see how happy his co-pilot was to see him, but because some where deep inside himself he could feel it too.
The two almost tumbled over when Stiles flung himself into Danny's arms, hugging him tight and gripping his shoulders when Danny pushed him pack and let his eyes flick down over the new self that Stiles sported.
"What the fuck, did they put you in one of those machines from Captain America? Jesus, look at you!" Danny laughed and Stiles grinned, turning his face away in mock embarrassment.
"I'm sorry, I haven't called, we got in some trouble-" Stiles rambled, shaking his head, "I was kind of... out of commission for a little while," he swallowed when he watched Danny's eyes narrow, "but no, yeah, I'm fine. We're all okay, we just... a lot has happened," he concluded, nodding when Danny tilted his head to the side, "a lot."
The rest of the room had turned, eyes locked on the two.
Lydia arched a brow, Raleigh shrugged, holding his hands up as if he had no idea what the hell was going on. None of them did except Derek, who leaned against the frame of the door with his arms crossed over his chest and a soft smile cradled on his face.
"Excuse me," Lydia purred, watching the two carefully, "share with teacher, what the hell is going on?"
"He's my," Danny pointed at Stiles and Stiles' words ran into his own, "old room mate from college."
"Danny," Derek added, which pulled Lydia's gaze to him, "That's Danny, they're best friends. Now that we have that out of the way how about we get on with this meeting."
Danny looked from Derek and then back to Stiles, blinking a couple times through a sheepish smile, "That's him," he whispered, "that's Derek Hale? I've seen him in interviews but damn, Stiles, how the fuck did you-"
"Shut up," the beta hissed quietly, shoving Danny's shoulder as he walked back over to lean against a black cabinet, "why exactly is Danny here?" he pointed his eyes at Lydia who was thumbing through her paper work and smoothing the lumps out of her pencil skirt before she stood.
"Don't you guys do invasive back ground checks; wouldn't you have seen that we were dorm mates for four years?" Stiles asked another question before Lydia could answer the first and she kicked at his feet with her close-toed heels.
"Well, I will get to why we're all here if you'd stop talking for one, and to be honest I haven't had time to really go through proper procedure seeing as we have exploding Kaiju on our hands. I've been doing my job, while you've been-" she gestured lazily between Stiles and Derek, "doing him."
Boyd snorted on his own laughter and Danny almost choked when Stiles rolled his eyes and spun his finger impatiently, "Get on with it, Lydia."
Derek simply flicked his eyebrow and hummed softly from the door way.
"Alright," Lydia rubbed her palms together before she reached up to tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear, "I have... a plan," she tested carefully.
Newton whined from behind her and Hermann rested his chin in the palm of his hand and shook his head back and forth. There was something living in the apprehension that suddenly crept its way across the floor and wound itself around everyone's feet, something that told Stiles to cut her off right there, to immediately disagree with whatever it was she was about to throw out into the open. It was in Newt's eyes as they peered at the ground through his glasses, in Hermann's mannerism's and in Isaac's hands as they tightened into fists at his side before he shoved them into the pockets of his black pants.
The strawberry blonde folded the papers gently against her chest and swallowed, lips trembling softly, "The Kaiju," she started, "have adapted to our weaponry, our emotions, our language. They continue to steal bits and pieces from us-" her voice cracked and she cleared her throat, manicured fingernails digging into the paper in her hands, "my theory is to re-evaluate the idea of a hive mind, the idea of the Kaiju in itself and to further understand our capabilities as creators. As inventors."
Chris watched her carefully and Mako tilted her head to the side as she paced in front of the group.
Deep green eyes flicked around the room and Lydia sighed, "We've drifted with the Kaiju in previous circumstances-"
"Well, this has been fun," Herc interjected roughly with a roll od his eyes, "but no one will be drifting with any Kaiju."
Lydia's cheeks heated and she stomped her foot, "Listen!" She hissed, sending Herc's head jutting back and his eyebrow raised towards the ceiling.
"As I was saying, a hive mind is like a network, intricate, but still a network. They're programmed and sent out with the only instinct they have, which is to destroy. Their ability to feel pain, fear, regret, it's us," she waved her hands, a grin spread across her face, "all of those emotions come directly from mimicking human emotion so-" she held up a finger and gestured to Danny who nodded from his place next to Isaac, "if a network so detailed can be configured by the Precursors and if we can influence them so easily then how hard would it be to hack them."
Derek tilted his head slightly and Stiles watched Danny send a curt nod in his direction, a 'yes this is happening' a solidification to the insanities that were spilling out of Lydia's mouth.
But no one said a word.
"If we can drift with them and send signals- Morse code-" she waved an open palm to Stiles, "to let us in, then we can get inside their heads, dig, re-program them."
Chris shook his head and sighed, "Lydia, this is all extremely thought out but you can't expect to hack something that doesn't have a code. It has nothing that-"
"In all due respect, sir," Danny stammered out, "DNA itself is a code, if this," he paused, "drifting," he shrugged, "is everything that Lydia has explained that it is then we wouldn't have a problem re-coding their basic instinct."
"What is the plan, give me simple, Mrs. Whitt-"
"Miss," Lydia corrected, swallowing painfully and exhaling sharply through her nose, "it's Miss."
Stiles felt Derek stiffen next to him and saw his jaw flex, eyelashes flutter.
Raleigh nodded slowly, "Miss Martin," he offered, to which she accepted with a nod, "Give me something simple. What are you asking for?"
Stiles looked around the room, from the shocked expression that Allison wore, to the confusion riddled across Scott and Boyd's face. He saw Erica sitting straight in her wheel chair, a blank stare pointed through Lydia. The twins said nothing, simply listened and waited. When honeycomb eyes found their way to his co-pilot Stiles took a step closer into Derek's space because it was obvious by the distance in his eyes that he was not okay with what was about to come out of Lydia's mouth.
The woman's lips pursed into a thin line, "I'm asking for permission to drift with an intact Kaiju brain alongside Mr. Mahealani in an attempt to reprogram the amygdala and neo-cortex of the hive mind that the Precursors have blue printed so that the Kaiju will inherently self-destruct within the Anteverse."
His knees buckled and it it wasn't for Derek's arm wrapped snugly around his waist, Stiles would have fallen. His eyes were plastered to Danny who stared back at him, something of an apology being written behind his eyes. Chris looked to Herc who looked back and nodded slowly, a gesture of understanding, a relaxed acceptance. Derek's breathing was hard as he glued his gaze to Lydia who swallowed a shaky breath and stood up straight, the papers crinkling quietly in her grasp as she pulled them further into her chest.
Raleigh leaned over to Mako when she lifted her head and sighed, "It sounds like a suicide mission," she piped.
Derek's muscles clenched and he narrowed his eyes at Lydia who pointed her gaze down at the floor and shook her head, "It's been done before!" slender fingers pointed to Hermann and Newt, "If we can get it done and get it done quick then me and Danny will be fine, there will be no lasting damage-"
"No lasting damage?" Stiles' voice strained as he took a step forward and looked from Danny to Lydia and back again, "No lasting damage, Lydia? Are you kidding me?"
The rangers in the room all seemed to have something else to look at in that moment, whether it was their shoes or the wall because Stiles' rage was spoken for each of them and his pain was felt in every pilot that had ever been on the field.
"The drift alone is not just-" he hissed, squirmed away from Derek who arched a brow and heaved a sigh, "It comes with consequences! It... That Kaiju, those Kaiju will imprint on you for the rest of your life. You'll... They'll be a part of you, when they die-"
Derek held his breath.
"You'll feel it."
Newt stumbled into the conversation, "Yeah, you will," he added with an uneasy laugh, "and their brains are larger than ours so it's a lot to take in. You might need a third partner," he looked to Lydia and nodded, shrugging a shoulder when she nodded back.
"Oh, you fool, don't even think about it," Hermann grumbled, hitting the tip of his cane against Newton's shins, "If you think I'm letting you dive into another Kaiju brain you're horribly mista-"
"I support it," Raleigh nodded, his voice earning silence from the rest of the room as he interrupted Hermann's ramblings.
Chris bit down on his bottom lip, "What do you need from us?"
Stiles' breathing was labored, his eyes wide as he stared through the lenses of his glasses, trying to calm the tremble in his hands, the uneven heartbeat that quivered behind his rib cage. There were thoughts swimming through his head, scenarios holding hands with memories all crashing and burning at the idea that this mission failed- at the sound of Danny choking on his own blood when it started rising up out of his throat, at Lydia dying with her eyes wide open with electrodes stuck to each of her temples.
Derek reached for him but he swatted his hand away and inhaled another shaky breath, "Lydia..." his voice was all bits and pieces, "please-" his tongue clicked against the top of his mouth and Stiles could have sworn that the room started to spin, "it's too fucking dangerous, there has to be another way, we can figure something-"
"There isn't," she bit, lips pursed tight again as she watched his jaw tighten in frustration.
Stiles picked up bits and pieces after that, heard Danny say that the next breach was in a few days, that they would need the Kaiju brain as intact as possible and that once they had it their window of opportunity would begin to shrink.
Hale's eyes never left Stiles, they dripped over the contours of his face and he could feel the heat of them sink beneath his skin and curl around his bones. Stiles just looked at the ground and waited for it to end. Waited for Lydia to thank them, waited for the questions, the planning, the strategy. Waited for Raleigh to turn around at stare at them, to gather the rest of the room in pointing their eyes at the pair of rangers near the door.
"Lionheart and Titan will be on the field to collect the sample," Raleigh's voice was raspy and heated, "Once the brain is harnessed by our field specialists Mako and I will meet them out there and wait for the next breach because as soon as you three make contact-" he nudged his chin towards Lydia, Danny and Newt, "they'll send reinforcements."
It took a moment. A moment of quiet contemplation before Stiles flipped the switch in his own mind, harnessed the anger flooding through him and aimed it exactly where it should have been aimed to begin with. He lifted his eyes and straightened his back, folded his arms over his chest and gave a swift nod, "Good." It was all Stiles said before he glanced at Derek and turned on his heels to walk out of the lab.
Danny looked to Derek, confusion pressing itself into the alpha's face before he finally started walking towards the door and peeked around the corner to catch a glimpse of Stiles turning the corner at the end of the hallway.
"He'll be fine," Raleigh mumbled softly.
Deep green eyes narrowed and Derek scoffed, "This is a suicide mission, Becket."
Erica's mouth fell slack and the twins coiled against each other's shoulders.
Mako sighed gently and closed her eyes.
"It always has been," Raleigh countered calmly.
Derek didn't bother to argue, he simply shook his head at Lydia who turned her face away and walked out the door.
"Stiles!"
Derek's voice was distant, echoing down the hall as Stiles paced towards the garden on the fifth floor. He ignored the strong call from his co-pilot and opened the door to the misty room, letting it shut behind him as he paced behind the exotic plants and trees riddled throughout the modern green house.
Long fingers rubbed together and tapped anxiously against his lips. Stiles gnawed on the inside of his cheek, shifted back and forth on each of his ankles.
Inhale. Exhale.
Inhale through the nose.
Exhale through the mouth.
He heard the door open and close, recognized Derek's footsteps and still didn't turn to face him when his co-pilot loomed behind him.
Stiles fingers curled into fists, clenching and unclenching, his toes crossed in his boots and he rolled his bottom lip between his teeth again and again.
"This isn't right," the beta finally mumbled into the cold damp air, "none of this is right."
Derek didn't reach for him, just waited for Stiles to take a step back, waited for him to bump into his chest and rest against him. He didn't wrap his arms around him, didn't bother trying to hold Stiles' hand or hug himself into his co-pilot's space. Derek just stood and let Stiles lean into him, let him rest his back against the alpha's front and breathed against the side of his face when he tipped his head back onto Derek's shoulder.
"I mean- if this doesn't work we all... We're all gonna die, every single one of us and-"
"We'll all die anyways, Stiles," Derek finally spoke against his cheek, "if it doesn't work we're going to die and if we don't do it we're going to die."
Derek felt Stiles swallow and Stiles closed his eyes when they started to burn.
"You seem so okay with that," Stiles almost laughed, hands reaching for Derek's wrists.
"No," Derek shook his head, "I'm not okay with any of it."
Stiles trailed his fingertips across the top of his co-pilot's hands, felt along a few of the scars, the points where Kaiju blue had splattered all those years ago, where this life had branded him with consequence and punishments that he never deserved.
The mist was light against his face and Stiles stopped shaking when Derek pressed against him and hummed, didn't say anything else, just stayed buried in Stiles' space like it was the most comfortable place he had to be.
A white lily stood strong and tall in a pot just across from them and Stiles watched droplets of water stream down it's leaves. Watched them fall into the soil and disappear into the dirt.
Life.
Beautiful, simple, meaningful life.
Derek's hands finally found purchase on his waist and Stiles coaxed the sob that wanted to surface back down into his throat.
Life.
It had to be worth it, didn't it?
Stiles turned his head and inhaled the scent of Derek's cologne.
God, he bit down on his lip and blinked over the rim of his glasses to look at the flower once again, it had to be.
Isaac threw his jacket on to the counter, licking over his bottom lip as Lydia rolled her eyes and shook her head, "I'm going to be fine, Isaac!"
"You don't know that, Lydia!" The doctor snapped back, palm slamming against the kitchen counter in her apartment, "You have no idea what kind of damage this could do, you don't even have a clue if this will work! You're going in completely blind and at what cost? Your life?"
"You're being over dramatic," she purred, purse landing somewhere on the couch as she reached over to grab a wine glass off the hanging shelf underneath her microwave.
Lahey stepped in front of her, "What happens when this doesn't work? What happens when you die, when that kid dies, when-"
"Stop it," her voice was low and the red head shoved him with her arm, "don't mistake me for someone who will tolerate being spoken to like a child, Isaac. I've gone through everything I could, every single scenario and this is the only one that I think will work. It's the only thing we have left and-"
"And you dying doesn't matter at-"
"No! Me dying doesn't matter! Not when we have an entire planet populated with people to worry about."
She waved her hand at him, a dismissal with her eyebrows raised, and poured herself a glass of wine as he stood at her side, lips parted and cheeks darkened in a deep blush.
"When did you get so selfish?" she mumbled sarcastically under her breath, kicking her heels off and brushing past him as she walked towards the living room.
Isaac snatched her wrist before she could get far, tore the glass from her hand and set it down on the counter where it spilt messily over the marble.
"Hey! Be careful, jesus, what are you..." Lydia's lips twisted into an aggravated frown but she stopped squirming when Isaac was brave enough to splay his hand across the small of her back and pull her easily into his torso. The woman stared at the ground, turned her head when he leaned in and brushed his nose against the top of her cheek, "Isaac... just-"
"You don't have to be his retribution," Isaac's voice was hardly a whisper and as he finished the last word he felt the sting of Lydia's palm hit his face.
She stepped back, tearing herself out of his embrace only to be pulled back in by insistent delicate hands. Lydia's eyes welled with tears, her lips trembled and she let a small whimper fall from her mouth when she reached out to slap the doctor again.
The third time she raised her hand he caught her wrist, cheek red and blotched from the abuse of her denial and the sting of her pride.
"Let go-"
When Isaac kissed her it wasn't soft or forgiving, it was hard and his teeth clanked solidly against Lydia's when she gasped. Her hands pushed at his chest and she squirmed, mouth betraying her when she pressed back into him and inhaled a sharp breath through her nose.
It didn't take long before her fingers were tangled in the doctors hair, before she was hoisting her legs up around his waist and hissing demands against his lips.
Shell pink nails dug into Isaac's back and peeled away at the powder blue button up that covered his torso. There was a moment when Isaac asked if she was alright but Lydia answered by pulling him down to the floor in the hallway just outside her bedroom.
He thumbed clumsily at her cheeks until the tears were gone, bruised her lips with his own and denied himself the worry of being careful with her because it was obvious that she was far stronger than he had ever thought to begin with.
Stronger than any of them.