When I woke up, Soda was gone. The events of the previous night came back to me in a sickening rush and I felt, again, like I might throw up. I was terrified to face Darry, knowing how angry he'd been. My clock read ten-thirty; it was unheard of for him to be home and let me sleep so late. Either he had left, or he was home and so mad he didn't even want to deal with me. I lay in bed for a long time, knees pulled tight against my chest, buried under my covers, wishing I had just stayed home instead of making any plans to go out with Anna. But, then again, I couldn't fully come to regret having been there, knowing what could have happened to her if she had been alone.

Finally, I gathered my courage and slipped out of bed, opening my door silently, and heading down the hall to face my consequences.

Darry was sitting at the table staring at the newspaper when I got to the kitchen. I stopped in the doorway and stared at him, before he realized I was there. I felt terribly guilty, even though I knew how hard I had tried to do the right thing. My heart felt sick and heavy.

Finally, after I had been staring for what felt like hours, but was probably only a minute, he must have felt the weight of my gaze, and he looked up.

Our eyes met for a moment and nothing was said. I was absolutely petrified that our previously solid relationship had been destroyed due to one night of bad judgment on my part. I hated that he had been so angry with me – I loved Anna, but if I had thought it would have come down to one or the other, I would have chosen Darry over her in a second. Suddenly, I realized how angry I actually was with her, for getting me into the whole mess to begin with. Darry was one of the only people in my life that I trusted, completely, and now he no longer trusted me, all because of her stupid plan. I was ashamed, and looked away.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, unable to even summon my full voice. He didn't answer for a long time, and I turned back towards him.

Our eyes met again, and he looked as sad as I felt.

"Scout…" he barely started before I interrupted him. I needed to tell him that I hadn't knowingly betrayed him. It was killing me that he thought that I had.

"I'm sorry, Darry. I know you don't believe me, but I didn't want to go. But Anna wanted to, and I didn't want her to go alone. I tried to call... I tried…"

I just stood there, waiting for his full wrath to come down on me, as I had been anticipating all night that it would. I hung my head and fascinated myself with the point on the floor where it met the door molding, waiting for the yelling to start.

What actually happened surprised me beyond belief.

"I know," Darry said, pushing back his hair and standing up. I didn't lift my head, but I opened my eyes wide enough to see him coming toward me. I was prepared for whatever he had in mind. He was right; I hadn't done what I had said I would, and I likely deserved whatever punishment he'd decided on. I hadn't meant to lie, but, ultimately, I guess, I had, albeit unintentionally. I bit my lip in anticipation of what was going to happen; truly, I had no idea what he was going to do. He'd promised that he'd never hit me, but I'd never heard him as upset with me as he'd been the previous night.

I wanted to look away – to bury my face in my hands – but I deserved his anger… I felt the full guilt of having disappointed him. Despite any loyalty I had felt for Anna, I had taken off with a stranger and put myself into a dangerous situation, putting not just myself, but our whole family at risk. I was just as upset with myself, probably, as Darry was with me.

I leaned into the doorframe as he approached me, feeling as horrible as I had since I'd lost my parents. Darry and I had always been partners, buddies – I felt a closeness with him akin to that shared by Soda and Pony; I was absolutely devastated to think that I had destroyed that trust, by partaking in what had to have appeared to him as sneaking around, taking advantage. I felt the tears rising as he approached, terrified that I had destroyed the bond that was most important to me in the world at that point in my life. There was just no getting around it: I needed him; he was my rock, and I depended on him.

I turned away, closing my eyes as he reached me, sucking in a deep breath that, involuntarily, became a sob.

I was shocked as he bent over and I felt him gently embracing me, at my own level. His neck was against mine, and his hand was stroking the back of my head as I sobbed against him.

"I know," he whispered, right into my ear. "I know it wasn't your fault."

I was already too much of a mess to respond. I was so glad that he was hugging me instead of hitting me that I just let myself fall apart against him.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered again, through my crying.

"No," he said, "I'm sorry, Scout. I was upset, and worried about you, and I wasn't fair. I didn't even let you explain… It was right of you, to look out for Anna."

"I just didn't… I didn't want… I was scared for her, Darry."

"I know," he said. "And I was scared for you. It terrifies me to not know where you are, or if you're okay. I told you, remember? More than snakes, even." He looked at me to see if that made me smile. I tried to.

"I was okay. I didn't even drink anything. I wouldn't, after…"

"I know," he repeated, interrupting me, knowing that the end of that sentence was going to be "after what happened last time."

"But…how? You were so mad at me…"

"I called Alison to check on Anna.... and Anna'd told her everything she could remember. And Soda told me what you told him last night. And I know you left a message for Two-Bit way before he called me. And… I know you, and I know you aren't irresponsible."

"I tried to do it right," I said, still struggling not to cry, out of what had to be total relief that Darry was even talking to me. "I just wanted Anna to be okay and still not make you mad at me … I really tried to do it right. I was thinking, the whole time, about what you would say, Darry. I didn't know what the right thing to do was. I just wasn't sure. But if I didn't go with her, if something happened to her…"

"I know. It wasn't a black or white situation. You did good, baby. I screwed up. I wasn't mad … well, okay, I was a little mad, but mostly I was just worried. I took that out on you. It was me, Scout. I reacted wrong."

He stood back up and pulled me with him into the living room and sat me on his lap on the armchair, hugging me and rubbing my shoulder. For quite a few minutes he just sat there, looking down at me. I could tell he wanted to say something but wasn't quite ready.

"I… didn't come home on time, once," he finally said, quietly. "I was right around your age, maybe a little older. It was the same kind of thing… a situation got out of hand, and I couldn't get home. I was out way past my curfew. Mom and Dad were really worried, until I finally was able to call."

I didn't know what to say. As far as I had known, Darry had always been the golden boy. I had hardly ever seen my parents upset with him.

"When Dad finally came to get me, he was mad, Scout. Really mad… scary mad. When we got home, he was so angry. He was yelling…I was dumb enough to yell back. He almost hit me, but Mom stopped him."

I was shocked. I could not imagine our dad ever hitting anyone, least of all Darry. I just stared, wide-eyed. My dad?

"He didn't, Scout," Darry took my hand in his. "He didn't, but the next day, he felt terrible. He was actually crying when he apologized to me, telling me that he had just been so worried about me, and so angry about having been made to worry so much, that he almost lost all his control, and hurt me, and how upset he was at himself about it."

"Daddy was crying?" This was completely unbelievable. I had never seen my Dad cry. Never. Another superhero had just taken his place among the mere mortals. My dad had always been my ultimate superhero.

"Yeah, and I didn't get it, then, Scout. I never got how worried he had been… I never knew how scary it was to think that something bad might be happening to someone you were responsible for - someone you loved - until that night, when Pony didn't come home. But… I didn't have anybody like Mom here to stop me, and I did it. I hit him. And I hate myself for it, still, because it was something that happened completely out of fear, not anger. I never meant to do it, I never wanted to, it just happened."

"He forgives you, Darry. We all do," I said, laying my head against his shoulder, encircling his chest with my arms. "It's in the past."

"But… I don't forgive myself. And I hate myself, right now, for how close I came to making exactly the same mistake again, last night, with you."

"But, Darry… you didn't. You didn't hit me."

"I know. But… how I treated you, I almost feel like I did. I mean… I could have. I was in that place."

"But you didn't. I get it. I mean… you were worried. You should have been worried. I'm not really the kind of kid who breaks her curfew. I guess… you were worried because you care. I'm lucky, because even though Mom and Dad are gone, I still have people who care about me. I never want to disappoint you, Darry, because I know you care about me."

"I know that, and I don't want to disappoint you, either. That's why I should have given you a little more credit that you might have had a reason – a good reason - for being at that party. But all I was thinking about, at first, was that something had happened to you. And then when Two-Bit finally called and I knew you weren't hurt, then I started to get angry, thinking you had lied to me. I never even gave you a chance to give your side of the story… I forgot to be your brother, and I turned into your parole officer, and it wasn't fair, to you."

I wasn't sure what more to say. I wanted to say that I wouldn't ever lie to him, but we both knew that, in the past, I had. Not telling about Steve had been huge, and I hated the fact that that secret could have caused any mistrust between us.

"Darry… I'm not mad at you… I never was. I was just so scared that, because of one stupid thing, that I never even meant to happen and tried as hard as I could to get out of, you wouldn't trust me anymore."

"I do trust you, Scout. And that's another reason I feel bad, because I trust you, and it was like that just went right out the window and I assumed the absolute worst, and I refused to even let you explain."

"It's okay… I guess it was the same, for me. I was crying because I was worried, that I wrecked it… I mean, how we get along so good. I don't want it to change."

"I don't either. And I'm real sorry, about how I handled last night. That was kind of a wake-up call, about how I need to take a better look at a situation, before I just… react. And maybe think about the other people involved…"

I thought about the person involved, besides me. I was angry with her, but, admittedly, concerned, as well.

"I guess Anna's probably in pretty big trouble, huh?"

"I imagine so. Alison and her dad didn't know she's been drinking at home… Scout, she's not heading down a good path. I know you're friends, but, baby… we can't be getting involved in other people's issues. We have enough of our own."

"I know."

"I don't think it's a good idea for you to go out with her, or over her house. For a while, anyway, okay? Until she cleans up her act."

"Okay." I knew he was probably right about that. I did care about Anna, but I didn't want me trying to protect her to translate into getting caught in a bad situation and, in the process, getting my own family split up.

"Darry?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't know if you need me to say this, but…just…"

"What, baby?"

"I love you, and I hope I didn't screw us up by what I did. And whatever you still feel bad about, I forgive you."

He pulled me against him and kissed the top of my head, squeezing too tight, as he so often tended to do. I didn't mind though, because that was just Darry. Anything else just wouldn't have felt right.

"Nah, we're still good, baby. It would take a whole lot more than one night of mistakes to change that." He squeezed my hand and I closed my eyes, leaning against him, feeling the heaviness in my heart lifting.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I dunno. Is this stuff too sappy? This is just how Scout and Darry's relationship is. And lordy, it only gets more dramatic as we head into teen-angstyville.