Time was a burden. It always had been, really- a misconstrued concept that tied happiness to the idea that when a moment passed it would be gone. Every little bit of it would soon become something that instead of being tangible, would be stitched into memories and pressed behind the eyes of people who stretched everyday just to reach back and get their fingertips on a piece of them. A fragment of their life- a first kiss after a date to the pumpkin patch, a sunrise witnessed on the roof top of a lovers house on a crisp morning in November, a loss and how it tore through the atmosphere and left scars on ghosts who adopted their name.
Time was an inevitable burden and Stiles wanted to shake it off his shoulders and watch it tick, watch it tock- watch it pass him by and stay wrapped in the worm hole that was Derek's bed.
The sliding glass door was shut but the window was open and the breeze that whispered through dusted over Stiles' back, coaxed goose bumps to rise along the knobs of his spine. The blinds rustled quietly, skin slid against the bed sheets and the beta felt his co-pilot stir in the early morning hours. Time was a burden and Stiles didn't know whether he should thank the rising sun for turning Hong Kong's sky into an array of deep blues and bright ceruleans or if he should curse it for striding by him so casually.
Derek's hands were a mystery to Stiles, how brutal they could be when he curled his fingers into fists and how tender they felt smoothing over the hollow of his hip, "Have you ever seen the sun rise in Oregon?"
The alpha's voice was rough and warm, mumbled into the pillow next to Stiles' face. Maple eyes lifted and Stiles shook his head, "No, have you ever seen the sun set in California?"
Derek blinked, "I always wanted to," he confessed, rising up to swing a leg over Stiles' hips and bracket his arms around his co-pilots face.
Stiles wanted to say it'd been a long night, he wanted his eyes to be heavy and his body to be relaxed and he wanted to be able to fall asleep while the sun rose. But instead his mind was nervous and he watched Derek lean down, exhaled when he felt the scrape of coarse hair along the slope of his jaw.
War.
He'd read so many stories that started or ended with the feelings surrounding battle, with the emotions that were so palpable in the moments before heading off to defend those who could not defend themselves- to protect those who could not protect themselves, and none of them had prepared him for the nothing that so loudly filled his body. It was like static. A deafening silence. And Stiles didn't know if he could bare the sound.
A breath shook its way into his lungs and long fingers felt along the ridges of Derek's shoulders, "It's, uh," Stiles swallowed and paused when his co-pilot's nose brushed against his own, "it's really fucking pretty," he confessed, "especially over the- the beach, the sky'll turn orange and purple," Stiles glanced up at Derek when he nodded, "I wish I could have shown you-"
There wasn't any hurry in the way that the alpha dipped down and occupied Stiles' mouth with his lips, took them in his own and hummed softly.
Derek mumbled 'you'll show me' against the swell of Stiles' bottom lip and all the young ranger did was nod in agreement before careful fingers carded into Derek's hair and his hips bowed up to meet the slow press of Derek's waist between them.
The light that fell in through the window hit the carpet and Derek didn't stop moving his lips, it warmed and it reminded and it stretched until the pale yellow that graced the carpet slid up to fan out over the edge of the bed, across the back of Derek's calf and the arch of Stiles' foot.
The alpha made it easy to get lost in him. He made it easy for Stiles to reach up and cup the angle of his jaw, made it easy for him to part his lips and pretend that they could fall asleep and wake up somewhere else besides Hong Kong. That they could seal the promise of a real date and a real anything in a far off place where Kaiju couldn't claw their way in.
But the alarm went off when the sun landed on the ink between Derek's shoulder blades and the sound woke whatever was hiding behind the silence in Stiles' mind- it shattered him back into existence and he felt the spark of sudden resistance flash in his stomach. That alarm, quiet and calm on the night stand next to Derek's bed, was the loudest thing that Stiles had heard since he first drifted. It buzzed, clicked, hummed and then familiar words flashes across the screen-
Pilots Report To Drivesuit Room Immediately
Prepare For Departure
Derek felt Stiles start to tremble and when he drew back there were two hands clasping on either side of his face and the beta gasped, shook his head and pulled Derek back down, "No-" Stiles pressed the word against Derek's lips, "N-no," he stammered again when his co-pilot opened his eyes.
The marrow in his bones was lit like gasoline and his stomach twisted into knots as Stiles listened to Derek take in a deep breath, listened to him inhale through his nose and felt him exhale a warm breath across his chin, "Stiles," the veteran tested, but the younger ranger shook his head and bucked up to wrap his legs securely around Derek's waist.
"Stiles, c'mon-" Derek's words were cut short and he hummed, pressed down into Stiles' mouth and tried to ignore the sound of the alarm going off. Ignored the way it vibrated so he could focus on just how warm the body beneath him was- how Stiles tilted his head to the side and how his hands ran up to grip into the dark locks on Derek's head.
It was incomplete- everything. Everything was incomplete and nothing was finished and Stiles didn't have the heart or the breath or the courage to admit that. He didn't have it in him to accept the defeat of finality and he most certainly was not in the mind set to understand that once they got out of this bed, it started. The end. The beginning. They didn't know which but the clock would start ticking and Stiles would die trying to catch the time as it flew by. The silence that occupied the majority of him through the night- through the two hands that branded him with permanence and immposibilty, through the burn of Derek's unshaven cheek rasping across his thighs and his stomach and his throat, through the silence that was so easily shaken apart by a clock on the night stand- found itself screaming protests against the insides of Stiles' ribcage.
Bright green eyes peered at Stiles from under the shade of his lashes and Derek swallowed when they finally paused to catch their breath, when Stiles let his hands smooth down to the sides of the alpha's throat and stroke the pads of his thumbs over his jaw.
"We're gonna be okay," Derek almost choked on the words and Stiles almost winced away from them, but he tried to nod instead.
There was another sigh before Stiles leaned up and waited for Derek to close the gap, to swallow down another long fluid kiss and run his hand like satin up over Stiles' hip and on to his side, "We're gonna be okay," he repeated, all warm words as he pressed his nose into Stiles' cheek.
Stiles' hands smoothed down Derek's back and he didn't answer, just nodded and closed his eyes when he felt them start to burn.
The water in the shower was hot and it seared across Stiles' shoulders, dripped down his back and over his kneecaps which wouldn't stop twitching and shaking.
"I should call my dad," Stiles whispered absently to himself, ran his fingers up through his hair and rested his other arm against the wall of the shower. It was one of the many thoughts that made themselves present in the waves that toppled against the cliffside of his mind and as quickly as it came, it went. He should call his dad, should take a picture of Derek with his phone just so that it's there- so that it's real when everything comes crashing down. He should leave a note on the counter, not that it would say anything important but he felt like leaving something behind, even if it was his handwriting- it would be worth it.
But in the end he just turned off the shower and walked out into his room, grabbed the picture off his night stand and studied his mother's face. She'd been so young and her hair was falling in her eyes, she had an upturned nose and Stiles reached up to touch his own as he looked down at the candid shot, traced along the places where her moles and freckles were and found some of his own in the same place.
The picture frame hit the soft cushion of his comforter and Stiles glanced over his shoulder as he pulled a shirt over his head. Derek was there in the doorway with his boots laced and his jacket on, arms folded over his chest. There was something dangerous about him that Stiles would never be able to understand, perhaps the way he held himself or how tightly pursed his lips were, maybe it was in his strength, in his charisma. Stiles wouldn't ever know, but he turned and watched Derek, studied the man like he'd studied him through the window back in August and held his breath.
Derek had never stopped being beautiful.
Stiles jaw clenched and he blinked when his eyes dropped to the floor, "We need to get going," the words fell out of him in a breath and his legs moved unconsciously towards the door. It was Derek's arm that stopped him, stretched out, palm pressed against his chest. He didn't move, just swayed forward and closed his eyes, tried to stop the ache in his ribs and the tremor in his hands. Everything was stop and go. Sudden momentum and then drawing closure, minimal resistance and then extreme breaks. The place where he felt safe- the place deep inside himself that always chanted 'not a coward', the voice that reminded Stiles of his existence didn't even brave the silence that swelled in the apartment.
The broad hand splayed across Stiles' chest twitched, Derek's fingertips slid up and he stroked his thumb across the sharp angle of the beta's collarbone.
Stiles felt the runaway beat of his heart.
Derek didn't need to say 'look at me' he didn't need to offer up something profound, he just sighed and brushed the pad of his thumb up over Stiles' jaw and across his bottom lip.
"C'mon," Stiles turned away, reached up to touch Derek's wrist, "We gotta go."
Derek's jaw clenched, he parted his lips and Stiles could hear the sharp inhale of words that his co-pilot chose to keep to himself almost come to life. But there was silence instead.
Stiles didn't take his time lacing up his boots and when his phone rang he didn't bother looking at who it was, just answered with a snap of his teeth, "This is Stiles," he bit.
It was Allison on the other end and the young pilot handed the phone to Derek before he shrugged the brown leather jacket to match his partners.
"Tell her we're coming," Stiles' words were like cut glass but green eyes just bore back into him and Derek didn't hesitate to lift up the phone and do what he was asked.
Shatterdome was quiet. It was quieter than it had been since the first day that Stiles was dropped off and met by Raleigh in the parking lot, since he was walked through the hangars and introduced to Isaac, since a needle was slid into his arm and he was pumped with synthetic Kaiju blue. Everything about Shatterdome- about the Pan Pacific Defense Corps was quiet.
The uneven flutter of his heart left his throat dry and his tongue heavy in his mouth, swiping nervously across his teeth before he sucked the hollow of his cheek in to chew on. His footsteps were stomped into the ground, shoulders squared, eyes set forward. This was it and he had to be strong.
This was it and Stiles had to understand that.
Tremors shook the bones in his fingers, made his knuckles rattle and his wrists vibrate. His knees bent with every step, popped and protested as Stiles trudged along, eyes blinking over the rim of his glasses, chest constricting, stomach clenching, breath caught and-
"Stop," Derek's voice came thundering through him and Stiles hissed when a strong hand wrapped over his shoulder and twisted him around.
Deep green eyes glared at him and Derek's brows knitted together in the center of his brow, "Stiles-"
"What?" the young ranger snapped and he wanted to wince at how hard his teeth clanked together.
"It's just another mission, we're going to get through it just like we do every other time. We're gonna go get in our Jaeger and protect the people we love, we're-"
Stiles' eyes rolled up towards the sky and he scoffed, shoulders shaking with a forced laugh, "We're gonna die, Der-"
Derek had never hit him.
Not on purpose.
Not like this.
But a swift strike to Stiles' right cheek sent his ears buzzing and jaw slack. There was pain shooting into his eye, through his temple and down the back of his neck. It took a minute, a minute to let his foot fall back, to catch himself and stare at the concrete. To process. To feel it. It hurt. It throbbed to the right of his chin and he opened his mouth, slid his jaw from side to side and let his now very steady fingers move up to adjust his glasses.
His nostrils flared and Stiles inhaled a sharp breath, "Did you just hit me?"
The words were chewed up, came out dripping with anger and soaked in complete disbelief but Derek just stared at him when Stiles finally lifted his eyes- he stared and his upper lip quivered and his eyes stayed narrowed on point, fingers curled into fists.
Stiles' cheeks were frosted and he bit down on his bottom lip, heart hammering against his chest, "Derek, did you just fucking hit me!"
The alpha took a step back when Stiles lunged forward, he spun to the side and caught his co-pilot by the arm, shoved him backwards when he cursed and tried to sweep his feet out from under him. It felt like a solid bag of bricks had slammed into Stiles' chest and he gasped, choked to try and catch his breath when the wind was knocked out of him and his back hit the wall outside the hangar.
Derek was there, crowding into his space with his hand wrapped around Stiles' jaw, "Listen to me, kid-"
"Don't call me that," Stiles spat, throwing an elbow into Derek's side. The alpha winced but just pressed forward, thumb nail digging into the soft skin just below Stiles' ear.
"Stiles," Derek seethed, reached out and grasped his wrist, pinned it against the wall and said his name again, "Stiles," like he was trying to calm down a rabid animal. Like he was trying to sedate him. Like he was trying to soothe him.
And Stiles couldn't.
He just couldn't.
Stiles squirmed, writhed, tried to push off the wall, "Get off," he pushed the words out and they sounded just as forced as he had made them. But Derek didn't move, he just loosened his grip on Stiles' wrist and placed his fingers between the slots of his co-pilots hand, gripped and took in a deep breath.
"Get off," Stiles choked again, softer, more pliant as Derek held his face in his hand and tried to breathe. The alpha's hold on him loosened, his hips dipped forward and Stiles wanted to hide inside him. Wanted to leap into the place between Derek's shoulders where ink spelled out his childhood and nothing could get to him except memories and the idea of something beyond what was to come. Something beyond what they were about to get themselves into.
Derek huffed, "I'm not letting you go," he stated through a frustrated puff of air and all Stiles could feel was the wash of relief suddenly bathing his bones.
The tremble in his chest wouldn't subside and Stiles didn't tug himself away when Derek reached up and fixed his glasses which were sitting crooked on his nose. Stiles blinked through damp lashes, inhaled and exhaled, winced when he felt the throbbing start to swarm to the underside of his jaw.
He winced when Derek's thumb pressed against it, turned his head away and eyed his co-pilot bitterly.
"I'm sorry," the alpha mumbled through the roll of his eyes, "but you were acting like a fucking grenade, I didn't know-"
"So your bright idea was to hit me?" Stiles snapped, giving another squirm only to have his body silenced by the steady hold of Derek's torso against his own.
The sharp line of Derek's jaw clenched and he huffed, warm breath passing across Stiles' cheek, "I'm sorry," he sighed, giving Stiles' hand a small squeeze before he leaned down to rest his forehead in the dip of his co-pilots shoulder.
Stiles was catching his breath, staring out over the horizon where the sun was being dragged into the center of the sky. The day was crisp, a breeze ghosting over the grounds, lifting spare leaves here, tossing dust there- the day was silent and Stiles wanted nothing more than to scream his protests. His tongue darted out to swipe across the pillow of his bottom lip and he breathed steady and soft with Derek's weight against him and the wall behind him, settled himself there and wondered if this was how it felt to greet death with his eyes open. To stare her in the face and reach out to shake her hand.
The alpha huffed another sigh and drew back, earning a glare of narrowed eyes staring back at him from behind Stiles' glasses.
The older pilot scoffed, "What? Do you wanna hit me so we're eve-"
A curled fist hit just above Derek's jaw and he winced when he heard the pop in his neck, stumbled to the side and reached up to grasp his own face as Stiles brushed his hands down and smoothed out the front of his shirt. That was a very easy way to give Derek an answer to such a sarcastic question to begin with.
Hale cursed, bit down on his lower lip, "Feel better?" he seethed through gritted teeth.
Stiles watched him carefully, watched him straighten up and square his shoulders, watched Derek Hale not give a damn that they were about to run off and face their deaths.
"You said we're gonna get in our Jaeger," Stiles swallowed, looked down when his co-pilot took a deliberate step into his space, "that we're going to protect the people we love," maple eyes blinked at the ground and he saw Derek give a silent nod.
His chest hurt from how fast his heart had been beating and he hated the way he couldn't keep his hands from shaking, but Stiles inhaled a quiet breath when Derek stepped in closer and bumped his foot against Stiles' boot.
Stiles blinked, looked forward to where Derek was tilting his head to the side, "Whose gonna protect us?"
Derek's lips drew tight into a thin line and he pushed a breath out through his nose, reached forward and took Stiles' chin between his thumb and index finger. The sun was still rising and one of their phones was ringing and what they were about to endure was unavoidable, but his co-pilot leaned in and pressed a firm kiss to Stiles' lips.
"Lydia," Derek said clear and crisp into the air between them, "Lydia is gonna protect us."
The sound of her heels bounced off the walls in Isaac's apartment and he listened to the way she held her breath every time he opened his mouth to say something. She was rushing, strawberry blonde hair swinging around her shoulders in ringlets as she turned this way and that, gathered papers on the counter next to the microwave and dug through her purse in the chair next to the couch for her cell phone. The doctor had never seen her so flustered, so unorganized and unprepared. He'd never seen her stumble to keep her composure- even after Jackson.
"Lydia-"
"I'm fine," she didn't bother giving herself time to chew on the words before she spit them out and continued to fish through her purse, cursing under her breath when her phone still didn't make an appearance.
"Lydia," Isaac pressed again only to receive a deliberately loud sigh from the woman.
"I need my phone, I need to call Allison and-"
"Phone," Isaac repeated slowly, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth as he held up the sleek black cell phone.
Bright hazel eyes softened before they closed and the woman slouched quietly against the back of the couch. Her chest rose and she huffed out a small breath as the doctor pushed himself off the counter and walked over to place his hands gingerly on her waist. Lydia leaned forward only slightly, letting his hands wrap around the flare of her hips, "Thank you," she nearly mouthed to him, voice coming out shallow and dry.
Isaac just nodded, gave her a small squeeze and a gentle sway before her forehead ended up resting between his collar bones.
They'd been arguing all night- Isaac trying desperately to talk Lydia out of drifting and Lydia assuring him with her smart mouth and heated wit that she was quite capable of handling herself. It'd been a circle of pleas and shouts, from Lydia shoving him away with her open palms to pulling him back in with needy hands. Their mouths had clashed and wandered, occupied each other with fragments of silence and hitched breath. In those moments the two found a way to pull the splinters out of the places inside themselves that they refused to show one another- words slipped past Lydia's lips that she never thought she would say again and Isaac breathed her in, choked on her, consumed her.
Lydia rubbed her cheek against his chest when Isaac leaned down and pressed his lips against the top of her head.
"I have to do this," she murmured, eyelashes dusting his collarbone when she glanced up.
Isaac wasn't going to argue with her, he wasn't going to continue to tell her that she didn't. He wasn't going to send her off with the weight of another argument piled on his shoulders and the weight of his uncertainty on hers. So, the doctor nodded and peered down at her, tried to tell her with his eyes instead of his words how much she meant, the impact she had, and Lydia leaned up to capture his lips in a long kiss. Her lips were a little chapped but Isaac had fallen in love with the way they pressed over his mouth, the way she always tilted her head just a tad to the left and sucked in a breath through her nose when he parted his lips and smoothed his tongue along her teeth.
He didn't want to let her go. Didn't want her to grab the phone out of his hand and nod when his eyebrows knitted together in a last silent plea to stay with him instead of leaving.
The woman sighed before she lifted the ringing device to her ear, "Hello," she chirped pleasantly, eyes never leaving Isaac as Allison rambled off on the other end.
Isaac leaned down and kissed her.
She let the phone hover a few inches from her ear for only a moment before laying her hand on his cheek and pulling away.
"'ll be right down," she assured before hitting 'end' and sliding her phone into the front pocket of her purse.
Isaac didn't say a word, just listened to the echo of her heels bounce off the walls and the quiet click of the door as Lydia closed it behind her.
Scott was pacing around the lab jabbering with Allison about the technicalities of what was to come. He repeated each modification he'd made to Gipsy Danger, Titan Omega and Lionheart- assured himself over and over that everything was in order. "Good to go," he said, crackling his knuckles through a shaky sigh, "Everything's prepped and ready, weapons systems are up to date and, uh, shit," he cursed, reaching up to rub his fingers over his jaw, "I got everything right?"
Allison was fastening her hair into a pony tail but she nodded, "You've gone over it with me six times, babe. You did everything you needed to do," the young woman cooed as gently as she could.
McCall was always the patient one, the funny one, the positive one. He was always the voice that chimed in and reminded everyone about the good in situations, always the 'we've got this' guy who had something up his sleeve that could brighten even the darkest situation. But now, in the early morning hours on December fifth, Scott's hands trembled, his throat tightened and he closed his eyes when Allison reached out for him.
Newton was getting the cords assembled for the drift with the Kaiju brain; Danny was typing something into his laptop and Hermann was sipping on a cup of coffee towards the back of the room.
It was quiet- much quieter than that lab had been in years and Scott could hear the tiny quiver in Allison's breathing when she walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around his chest.
He turned, nose brushing the strands of hair that hung astray out of her ponytail, "Hey," he choked out, smiling when she settled her chin on the top of his shoulder. She shifted her weight in the sleek black tennis shoes she was wearing and the loose arm of her top fell over the jut of an angular shoulder. Allison Argent was beautiful and dangerous and soft and Scott chewed on his lip before he inhaled a deep breath.
"I have an idea," he exhaled, moving to face her.
Allison nodded, tilted her head to the side.
"I think we should get married in August," he blurted, leaning down to press his lips firmly against her forehead, "and I think we should have a baby."
Tears welled against Allison's eyelashes, her heart sprang and sputtered, but she only laughed to begin with. A soft, delicate, breathy laugh into his throat until Scott settled his hands on either side of her face and brought her lips to his own. To draw a card never seen in their deck, to offer something so far from what they had ever imagined for themselves- a life. A family. Normalcy. It was like relief had laid her hands across Allison's chest and gave a gentle push.
She swallowed, nodded her head and didn't let the fear they all were feeling leak into the idea of a future. Instead she gave another breathy laugh, "Yes," her voice was sore from a night with hardly any sleep and her muscles were tight from training, "I think that sounds perfect."
It was brief, but it was worth it, and when the sound of Lydia's heels broke their whispered promise into the reality of the situation at hand both Allison and Scott gave a short glance to one another before settling back into their rightful places. Scott rested a hand on Lydia's shoulder when she walked in and set her things down, Allison walked towards the open door, "I'll grab some more coffee," she tossed the words over her shoulder and Lydia nodded.
Everything was in motion.
The world did not stop turning.
The clock did not stop ticking.
Lydia's deep red dress clung tight to her and her dark lipstick was striking against the pale complexion she worse so well.
"Where's Raleigh and Mako?" she looked to Scott who was digging in his pocket for his cell phone and raised a brow, "I expected everyone to be on time this morning-"
"Relax," the warmth in Raleigh Becket's voice was always like something soft and comfortable being swept over a tense situation, "Mako insisted on getting a run in this morning, blame her."
The blonde smirked when he passed through the door, fingertips tapping against the frame as he did, with Mako at his heels, a scone in one hand and a cup of tea in the other. They looked as they always did, like a storm ready to be unleashed, a weapon ready to deploy. They moved with confidence, Raleigh with ease that made even the most seasoned pilots weary of his skill and Mako with her air of wisdom and the playful eyes of a woman far too intelligent and much too cunning to be trifled with.
Yet, they both offered a smile and Mako hummed when Lydia looked at the floor, "You look tired," the ranger purred, "tea?"
Lydia shook her head, forcing her lips up-right, "Allison is getting me coffee," she explained through a sigh and an apologetic shrug.
A slender hand rested reassuringly on Lydia's shoulder and Mako nodded through a soft smile, one that said 'we trust you' and Lydia reminded herself to breathe.
"She looks good," Derek piped as they stood at Lionheart's feet and looked up at the towering Jaeger.
Stiles nodded in agreement, "She looks ready," he added, swaying to bump his hip against Derek's waist.
It was quiet after that, just a small hum from Derek and a sigh from Stiles as they mentally readied themselves for what was to come. They took their time, each of them apologized at least twice over for being such brutes about handling the anxiety both of them felt outside the hangar. Derek was the one to playfully mention that he preferred going about things the way they had last night rather than swinging fists at each other. Stiles arched a brow and snorted a laugh but he couldn't disagree. He would never disagree to a statement like that.
"She looks ready," Derek repeated Stiles' words and tilted his head, jungle eyes tracing the line of his co-pilots jaw, "are you?"
The beta's heart jumped and kicked against his ribs, his lungs were burning but when he rubbed the pads of his fingers together he didn't feel a tremble in his hands and when he bit down on his bottom lip there was no lash of nerves that fluttered through his elbows and into his kneecaps. As anxious as Stiles was and as nervous as he had been, he was almost surprised to find himself more collected as he'd ever been during his time at Shatterdome. Perhaps he was used to it by now, used to the strain of this war and the uncertainty of all of it, or maybe he was drinking Derek's strength and drowning in it. Whatever it was, Stiles was not a coward and he was not afraid. Even if he wanted to be, even if he knew he should be- he was not scared. If death was to come for them then he would die in a Jaeger with Derek at his side fighting for the ones that he loved and he would regret nothing.
It was the first time in many years that Stiles had the strength to understand his own power.
Honey eyes drifted over to peek at Derek through his black rimmed glasses and he offered a crooked smile, "Yeah, are you?"
The alpha simply nodded and jutted his shoulder towards the door leading into the cafeteria and Stiles turned to walk with him.
It wasn't busy but they could hear the twins laughing as soon as they walked past the door frame. They had each of their arms slung around Allison's shoulders and dwarfed her in size. Aiden was chomping on a doughnut while Ethan patted the combat trainer gently on the cheek and then reached for a bowl of oatmeal.
Allison's head was thrown back; cheeks splotched with a blush and she was enjoying a fit of open-mouthed laughter. It was warming to see their friends being themselves, to see that everyone was not already in mourning. To see courage instead of defeat.
Aiden was the first to spot them and waved, pointed to the tray full of doughnuts and flashed a thumbs up which earned a grin from Derek while he shook his head back and forth while Stiles gave a half-hearted sigh.
"Hey," Stiles reached for Allison as she slid a few hot cups of coffee into a cardboard holder and she smiled, reached back and gave as much of a hug as she could with her arms full.
Chestnut eyes widened before they narrowed and she gasped, fingertips poking at the welt growing on Stiles' jaw, "Are you okay? What happened- Derek, did you see this, he-"
Her eyes narrowed further when Derek's lips pursed into a thin line and he turned to face her.
A matching welt was growing prominently on his face as well.
Allison inhaled a sharp breath, "Did you guys fight or fu-"
"Oh-kay!" Stiles hissed as a dark blush frosted over the tops of his cheeks, "No, don't-" he growled under his breath, "It's not a big deal, just- we," the ranger was waving his hands between them before he reached up to push his glasses up on the bridge of his nose, "it doesn't matter! Any ways, hello, good morning, can you pass me one of those Oolong tea bags, please?"
The woman rolled her eyes and a few stray strands of hair waved past her shoulders as she shook her head and handed him his tea along with a cup of hot water.
Derek was playing with the twins, jabbering about the dynamics of the fight that was about to take place and Stiles smiled when he overheard Ethan assure Derek of their place at Lionheart's side.
If the twins were anything, they were loyal.
Stiles bit down into an apple while Derek settled for a granola bar and they ate while they walked, Allison taking long strides ahead of them and the twins humming a tune in unison behind them. He wanted it to be normal, wanted the day to pass and everything to go by like it would any other day in December. He wanted to ask Derek what he wanted for Christmas, Stiles wanted to go shopping with Erica and Scott- he wanted to plan a trip to see his dad. The nerves bubbled shyly in his stomach but he pressed them down and thought of Big Bear and how he used to go every year with his dad, used to roll around in the snow until the chill would bite at the tip of his nose and he'd take shelter inside next to the fireplace and read books on Egyptian hieroglyphics.
Life had been simple before K-day.
Maybe life could be simple again.
They didn't say anything, not until Allison rounded the corner and they followed her down the hall towards the open door of the laboratory. Not until Stiles heard Aiden hush Ethan and not until Derek inhaled a shaky breath and swallowed down a gulp of air.
Raleigh and Mako were waiting with everyone else. By the time they got there the Marshall's were there as well, Chris was talking with Danny and Newt was tuning the capacitors connected from the hard drive to the Kaiju brain. Stiles was at Danny's side before anyone else's, he laid a hand on his old roommate's shoulder and sighed softly, "Hey, man," the ranger tried to offer a smile but it came out forced and dry.
Before Danny could open his mouth to respond Lydia cleared her throat and clasped her hands together, "Okay," she smiled, all broken and wide, "Rangers-" the red head gestured to the three teams in the room, "can someone recap with me the plan, please."
Stiles wanted to hiss and stomp, wanted to demand more time with the people he was about to fight for. The people who were about to fight beside him, but Ethan beat him to it and the ranger rolled his eyes and leaned against his brother, "Gipsy heads in first with tactical offense followed by Lionheart. We take the sides and circle around. Once you've broken through into the primary instincts you can re-wire the Kaiju brain which will trigger the rest to retreat back into the breach and detonate."
"And if one detonates on the field?" Lydia tilts her head to the side, clutched a clipboard to her chest.
It's Derek whose eyes rolled and he huffed, "Try to lead to Kaiju as close to the breach as possible. Do not retreat."
"Do. Not. Retreat." Lydia repeated the words, tapping her nail against the back of the board as she did, "If you retreat you could trigger the Kaiju's natural instinct to head towards populated areas which would completely dis-engage us from our mission."
Stiles wanted to panic. He wanted to taste the bile bubbling in his stomach and he wanted to feel his knuckles strain against the tight fists he was shaking to keep under control. But there was nothing. Just the flare of his nostrils and the deep breaths that he reminded himself to keep steady. Maple eyes pressed the room for cracks, for solid answers to the questions he had. The questions of why and when and how and if. The questions that always ended up having answers that were swaddled in the optimism of a future, the idea that they would survive- so instead of asking the questions Stiles knew wouldn't have answers, he just shoved his hands in his pockets and heaved a sigh, "Be careful."
Derek closed his eyes when he heard his co-pilot utter the words. Raleigh nodded, Mako straightened her back. Lydia faced him; blinked mascara coated lashes and tilted her head to the side. Stiles was expecting an echo of his own words when he lifted his gaze to watch her from over the rim of her glasses, but the woman's lips twisted into a smile and her brow arched, "Kick their ass."
The twins barked out a laugh while Derek grinned smugly to himself. Allison was leaning against Scott, the worry in her eyes present even through a soft smile that formed over the words of her all-too confident friend.
"We always do," Raleigh breathed smugly.
Another voice sounded from the doorway accompanied by the squeak of small tires against the floor, "Hey-" Erica hissed as she caught her breath, Boyd half holding her up in the walker, "do not leave without-" her words got caught somewhere between her lungs and her lips. She turned her face away when Herc took a couple steps in her direction. A large hand rested on her back and she bit at him when he tried to hush her. Strong eyes pierced forward and she stumbled trying to lift a hand, gesturing for Scott.
The engineer was at her side in a moment's time, followed by Derek who growled under his breath, "You shouldn't be up yet." Green eyes flicked to Boyd who nodded and sighed, defeated and tired.
"I'm fine, Derek," Erica mumbled, reaching out and lifting her arms as much as she could to wrap around the other alpha.
Stiles felt his stomach twist and he bit down on his bottom lip when Erica's eyes shifted to where he was standing. It didn't take him long to convince his legs to move, to walk over and wrap his arms around her, feel her shake and lean into him. It took so much just for her to stand, to stay steady on her feet and through it all Boyd's hands stayed pressed protectively over her hips.
The blonde laughed softly into Stiles' shoulder, gripped his arm and flashed a grin when she swayed back to look at him, "Isaac said he's gonna get me in the pool, do some water exercises," she paused, swallowed and blinked, "I was wondering if you'll help me- when you guys get back, you'll be there right? Isaac said I'll need someone strong and Boyd-" she swallowed again, pushed an uncertain breath out through her nose, "has been doing so much. So, when you get back… When you guys both come back," Erica's voice faded and Stiles watched her lips twist down.
"I'll be there," Stiles sighed, tightening his arms around her briefly before Chris opened his cell phone and cleared his throat in the crowded room.
"It's time to go," his voice was firm like always and he rested a hand on Allison's shoulder, "head to the Drivesuit Room."
The space between his lungs and his stomach curled in on itself and Stiles felt Erica squeeze his arm once more, felt Boyd lean over and wrap his arm around his shoulder. Heard Scott sigh and tell him that they were going to do great. Allison didn't say a word- she didn't look like she could've if she tried and Lydia eyed them both carefully from the back of the room. There was a quick hug from everyone, a wave, Danny nodding to Stiles in that 'I'm right here' kind of way that made the pilot want to break down and fall away from the rest of them.
Derek glanced over his shoulder when Stiles moved past him and he opened his mouth to say something until he saw who he was walking towards. Danny opened his arms, gave a tight hug and Stiles' breath shook, "You get it done," the words were quick, "you get it done and me and Derek, we'll-" he swallowed, searched himself for something to say, "we'll give you a running start."
Danny nodded, rubbed his hands up and down Stiles' shoulders, "Go get 'em."
When Stiles turned to leave he felt warm fingertips hit his wrist and mossy green eyes watched him carefully. Lydia blinked once, glanced from him to Derek and her lips parted. He wanted to wait for her, wanted to wait and hear what she had to say but the way her hands trembled told him that her silence would be easier.
"Take care of him," Stiles mumbled, shrugging towards Danny before he turned to leave.
Stiles was stepping through the doorway when he heard her call 'I will' from where she was standing. He didn't look back. Didn't nod. Just kept close to Derek whose eyes were set straight ahead.
When the three teams got to the top floor they paused and Raleigh hummed, lips pulling up into a smug half-smile, "You ready?"
The question was pointed at each of them and Derek shook his head, eyes rolling towards the ceiling, "As ready as we'll ever be," the alpha grumbled through something of a laugh. Stiles was beside him and he nodded, agreed quietly and watched as Mako raised a brow and poked her co-pilot playfully in the ribs. Raleigh squirmed, hissed down at her and the twins chuckled softly under their breath.
This was it- the end, the beginning, perhaps both.
Raleigh's hand clasped over Stiles shoulder and the beta offered a smile, watched his mentor carefully from behind his glasses.
"Keep impressing me," Raleigh purred and Stiles felt heat rise into his cheeks before he shrugged and his eyes crawled to Mako who nodded.
The young ranger gave a curt nod and Raleigh turned his attention to Derek who smirked when the blonde leaned forward and slapped a hand playfully on his stubbled cheek, "Glad you're with us." Derek huffed and nodded, didn't say a word back.
"And you two," Raleigh stuck his tongue between his teeth as he faced the twins who looked as eager as ever to get into their room and be suited up. Mako was sighing softly from behind her co-pilot, crossing her arms in the leather jacket covering her torso- she couldn't help but snort a laugh when Raleigh hummed, "ears open, eyes open."
Ethan and Aiden nodded together, bouncing on their heels.
The six of them stood, each in a jacket representing the Jaeger they were about to board- representing the anger that each of them had, the passion that fueled them to fight. To win. To give the Precursors and their Kaiju resistance that they never expected.
"We canceled it once," Raleigh looked to each of them, "let's cancel it again."
Stiles flinched when the metal spine was locked in place and he flexed his toes in the black boots strapped to his feet. The room didn't spin like he expected it too and he beta didn't taste confusion on his tongue like he had that morning. It was done. It was time. Everything was falling into place- into the permanence of destruction and the finality of 'do or die.' That's what this was- do or die. It was the means to reject defeat, the ability to burn the promise of revenge and snuff it out with their own revolution.
They were the revolution.
The door opened a few minutes after they'd been suited up and Isaac's jaw clenched when he looked to the pair. He wasn't wearing his white lab coat, but was instead dressed down in a pair of jeans and a red long sleeve shirt. A scarf was wrapped lazily around his neck and he inhaled a deep breath when he reached out to touch just below Derek's eyes.
"I always tell everyone the same thing before they head into the Conn-Pod," the doctor nodded to Derek and moved over to Stiles who removed his glasses and squared his shoulders, "Be careful around the Kaiju blue, try not to take a hit above the shoulders and remember that when you do take a hit you'll feel it because of the neural receptors, they're what allow to fight so fluidly."
"Yeah," Stiles agreed, side-eyeing Derek who was looking down at his hands and flexing his fingers.
Isaac heaved a sigh before he took a step back and reached up to thumb at his lips nervously, "But," the doctor paused, chewing on his lip before he crossed his arms over his chest and swayed on the balls of his feet, "this time I don't have anything to tell you that you don't already know because I'm just as in the dark as you are so…"
Stiles looked at the ground while Derek looked at the ceiling.
"Take care of yourselves out there."
Isaac swatted them both on the back before he jutted his chin towards the door that led to the Conn-Pod and signaled for a woman on the crew to open it.
It was Derek who cleared his throat and looked over his shoulder as they walked towards the open door, "Isaac," the doctors name came out clear and crisp, "you, make sure she's okay, Lydia-"
"Go on, Derek," Isaac nodded his head towards the door again and the Stiles watched Derek's mouth hang open slightly before his teeth clanked together and he turned swift and deliberate, feet hitting the ground hard when he walked into the Conn-Pod. "I will," Isaac called over his shoulder before one of the engineers closed the door.
Hale lifted his eyes to peer back at the doctor before he took his leave and Stiles felt his heart start to thunder behind his rib cage when the Conn-Pod door latched shut.
It was familiar. Everything. From the way their boots echoed against the floor to the red hue of paneled lighting above them- it was all so incredibly familiar. Steam hissed out of a vent settled to the upper right of Lionheart's helmet and Stiles watched Derek move swiftly to his place on the left where the alpha took his time stepping into the clasps that gripped his boots and steadied him in place.
Stiles did the same, felt the way the hydraulics lifted him and tapped a few of the buttons on the panel in the center of the deck.
"Lionheart," it was Chris Argent's voice that came through the overhead speakers, "we'll be initiating drift sequence in thirty seconds."
Stiles' throat burned when he tried to swallow and he shook out both of his hands when he felt them start to tremble. This was it. This was really it. He wanted to be scared, wanted the explicit need to flee to be palpable but there was nothing except the shaky sound of his own breath and Derek sighing next to him. Caramel eyes dripped to the floor before Stiles lifted them and looked over at his co-pilot through the thick cover of his helmet and blinked, lips parted, eyes dancing from the alpha's shoulders to the bridge of his nose.
Derek cleared his throat and his head tilted to the side when he inhaled a sharp breath, "You with me?"
"10 seconds," Chris's voice shook the speakers once again and Stiles smirked, lips turning up into a crooked smile.
There was something about looking at Derek that was so jarring. He looked just as he did all those months ago, just as intimidating, just as gorgeous, just as profound and nerve-racking. But as Stiles inhaled through his nose and exhaled through his mouth, as his eyes made laps around the sharp angle of Derek's jaw and the bow of his top lip- he saw so much more. Ash stitched together with remnants of a lost partner, strong hands and a strong mind that coaxed Stiles into himself and out of himself, eyes like the warmest nights in summer and a heart that burned steady like hot coals.
Derek Hale was Stiles' constant- his furious, raw, explicit constant.
3…
Stiles slid his hands into the metal slots and gripped.
2…
"Derek-" he swallowed, lips parted, eyes falling shut.
Left Hemisphere Initiated
Stiles' back tried to arch against the heat that poured between each of his vertebrae and his teeth ground together when Lionheart swallowed him into her core. He felt the metal bindings pressed snug between the mortar guns on her shoulders, felt the way she strained at the intrusion of his mind- gasped for air when the surge of their Jaeger tore him open. The drift was silence but Lionheart was thunder, a scream that reminded the sky of its own rage and a force built in an age of desperation. There was a crackling buzz, like a bonfire chewing over the remnants of wooden logs and Stiles steadied his breathing, listened to the way his heart ran away with itself and reached out through the wires and the iron and the bolts to curl himself around Derek's voice.
The memories crashed against him like waves against a cliff and Stiles' breath hitched when he felt the bitter cold of snow melting on his eyelashes. He inhaled, long and deep, the scent of pine needles and his lungs protested the chill that was brought with it. There was a crunch beneath his feet and when he looked up the sky was littered so clearly with the alphabet of the universe- stars bright and dim were splashed against the darkness and the moon hung low over the trees. Peace fell over him and Stiles could have leaned against one of the tall trees to his left or right and stayed there forever- but Derek said his name.
"Stiles," he called, distant and quiet.
The beta pressed through the memory, reached out with both hands and climbed through it until he fell unceremoniously into another. Falling was like a lightning strike and Stiles felt the electricity of it spike through his shins and into his kneecaps, felt it bite under his fingernails and into his elbows.
There was the press of hands so steady against his waist, a short chirp of a young girl's voice and then long brown hair flicking across the bridge of his nose.
Laura had been beautiful and the way she said Derek's name was the strum of fingers against a harp, gentle and smooth. Full lips spread into a smile and Stiles felt her hand on his cheek, "Derek," she said his name again and Stiles opened his mouth, repeated the name and felt the pull of his co-pilot wade nearer and nearer until-
Right Hemisphere Initiated
Derek held his breath as the storm of Stiles' life wrapped him into a cyclone, spun him this way and that. It was sand between is toes one minute, Danny's voice the next, a dog barking, ball bouncing, words pressing phrases into him like brands all in languages he couldn't understand. There were waves crashing, the smell of cardboard and the gruff voice of his father going on about San Diego and how much prettier it was than Malibu- how the water was just a tad bit warmer.
He felt the wavering pause from Stiles when he reached forward, the soft what if that the young ranger had kept quiet all morning and he pressed against it, felt through the familiarity that was his co-pilot and their Jaeger.
The alpha winded around steel cables, felt the cold bite of metal on his palms and gasped when Stiles clashed against him. They were blind action, raw determination and clumsy wit drowning in the steady inhale exhale that both of them tried to keep under control.
Derek felt himself slam against Stiles consciousness and his eyes flew open.
The HUD's flashed and Stiles inhaled through his nose, exhaled through his mouth before he looked over to see his co-pilot watching him steadily. He gripped the weapons module between his fingertips and gave a short nod, "I'm with you."
The drop was quick and Stiles heard Derek laugh from beside him, felt the pin-prick of agitated nerves flying through the two of them. Being inside Lionheart was like being inside of a natural disaster and doing with it whatever they pleased. Stiles flexed his hands, rolled his shoulders and when they connected with the rest of their Jaeger Chris's voice came over the speakers, "Neural handshake is at 100 percent, rangers. Prepare for departure."
The constant buzz of Derek's presence felt like safety and his anger bubbling under the surface of Lionheart's paneling reminded Stiles of exactly why they were there. What they had dedicated their lives to accomplishing.
"Lionheart," Raleigh's voice sounded through the Conn-Pod, "Titan," he called to the twins and Stiles took in a steady breath, ignored the way his heart sputtered unconsciously in his chest and looked out over the horizon when the ocean breached their vision, "Get ready for a hell of a fight."
Someone said 'are you sure', touched her shoulder and mumbled that there was still time to go back. Time to wait. Another voice, just as quiet, told her that it might hurt, that it would stick with her and she turned away to flip through files on her tablet. When the last person slid their hand across her shoulder and pressed a kiss against the top of her head, Lydia Martin closed her eyes and allowed her knees to shake for a moment. The woman rolled her bottom lip between her teeth, reached back until she could twirl the end of Isaac's scarf between her fingers and sighed when he leaned down and rubbed his lips against the shell of her ear.
Danny was being strapped in and she could hear Hermann barking and huffing about being able to concentrate through the drift. With there being three of them the load should be lessened but Danny would still have to be able to find stability and upload the new programming into the Kaiju brain before the hive mind became aware of their actions.
Newton shifted nervously in his chair, exhaled loudly through his teeth and reached up to chew on his nails, "Okay, Lydia," he called to her, craning his neck to see past one of the test tubes in the middle of the room, "we have two minutes; you need to get on boarded."
The red-head's eyes were on the floor, her fingertips still twisting in the fabric of the doctor's scarf and she could feel the sudden weight of her decision bearing down against her chest.
"Lydia," Isaac's hand snaked up to clutch at her own, "we can still-"
"I'm coming," she almost choked and Isaac's eyes closed from behind his glasses. She turned, sharp and swift and on point like she always was- blinked and laid her hand on his cheek. He smiled at her, fond and tired, and she smiled back, knowing and gentle, before he leaned down and pressed a firm kiss quickly to her lips. It didn't last and when it ended Lydia's lashes shielded her eyes from him. She turned and marched towards the back of the lab where Hermann waited next to open seat beside Newt, "Don't mess up my hair," she hissed casually when she sat down and crossed her legs.
Danny rolled his eyes, Newton scoffed and Hermann arched a brow as he slid the head piece onto her crown and set the sensors over her temples. The cascade of wires that was bound at the nape of her neck fell behind the seat and up to connect with the tube and the host brain which floated peacefully in the ammonia spiked fluid.
Once Lydia's place was set she gripped the arms of the chair and looked across the room to where Isaac stood with Allison and Scott. They watched her, Allison had her hand curled up by her mouth and Scott had an arm wrapped snug around her waist. He smiled and Lydia tried to smile back but her mouth stayed put, lips pursed in a thin line. Isaac just blinked, dark circles hugged the thin skin beneath his eyes and she watched his throat constrict, watched him swallow painfully.
"1 minute," Hermann growled softly, "1… 1 minute," he stuttered, repeated to himself again and again as he pulled a keyboard and extendable monitor head in front of Danny.
Newton was squeezing the arms of his chair and he craned his neck to look at Lydia whose glossy eyes never left the doctor on the other side of the room. "Don't worry," Newt's voice shook, "I'm right here with you and I've, uh, I've done this before so-"
"30 seconds!" Hermann was scrambling, hoisting wires into his arms and placing them behind the three seats, running this way and that, clicking buttons and heaving in breath after breath until only one switch remained.
Loud footsteps came barreling down the hall and when Herc walked through the door he gave a swift nod to Hermann as he sucked in a sharp breath, "Good luck."
It was the last thing Lydia heard before her eyes squeezed shut and the marrow in her bones was set ablaze.
They saw Gipsy Danger on the horizon when the helicopters detached the cables from Lionheart's shoulders and let them drop down into the Pacific Ocean. Titan Omega was at their heels and the Jaegers made the waves look like a shallow puddle lapping at their heels.
The breach was just a few meters away where the ocean floor dropped down below a reef and when they lifted their feet the two pilots could feel the strength of Lionheart's waist gripping tight to her legs which carried them forward towards the rendezvous point.
Nerves danced beneath Stiles' skin but he took shelter in Derek's willingness to fight and his passion for the cause that they stood so valiantly for.
"I can hear it," Derek growled, "I can hear all your thoughts up there," he tapped on his helmet and Stiles rolled his eyes.
"I know," the beta snapped, "I can't really help it, Der."
The seasoned ranger chuckled under his breath, shook his head and glanced over to watch Stiles bite down on his lips, "I've missed it."
He hated the fact that Derek could feel the way his nerves fluttered and his mind rolled over on itself but he smiled never-the-less, body craving the harsh thrash of firing canons and swinging fists- the connection of metal knuckles against sore alien scales and the smell of cauterized Kaiju flesh.
Stiles reached over to the panel in front of the HUD's and flipped a switch, "Raleigh, the perimeter's clear, any word from Shatterdome?"
"We have ten seconds, as soon as a Kaiju comes through we'll see it on our radar, get into position!"
The sky was clear and Stiles clenched his hands into fists as they walked behind Gipsy Danger. It was the first time the clock seemed to pause; the first time they had a moment to breathe, to ponder, to take in a deep breath and pretend that they were prepared. Stiles' lungs expanded and he felt the press of Derek's thoughts against his own, felt the steady vibrations of his co-pilot as they raised Lionheart's fists and readied themselves for whatever it was that came out of the breach.
Stiles could feel the thoughts of Jackson, of Talia, of Cora and even of Peter. He could feel the crisp breeze of an Oregon November and the taste of sweet cinnamon on his tongue.
Derek could feel Claudia, could feel the sheriff and Danny. He felt the bite of white tiles on his knees and the salt of ocean air in his nose.
It was familiar, a home for both of them and the drift was the loudest silence that either of them had ever taken refuge in- but it was safe.
"Three!"
Raleigh's voice coaxed Stiles' eyes to narrow.
"Two!"
Derek inhaled sharp and slow.
"One!"
A blue blinking light appeared on the HUD followed by another only a second later confirming that the team back at Shatterdome was correct in their findings of a double event.
They tried to keep their eyes on the readings that blinked on the panel but the overwhelming urge to watch the surface of the water was too enticing and the two rangers found themselves staring intently at the ocean and waiting for a sign or a signal to move in.
There was no way to be comfortable, no relaxation, and Stiles was thankful of that when Mako's voice shouted through the speakers and the ocean was shattered by a Kaiju, large and slender, leaping its way out of the depths.
Stiles' heart thundered in his chest and his throat burned as he tried to get a better look through the spray of water.
Blue. Always blue.
It was different, with the thick drag of an arched back, spines curving up from the top of its neck and the base of its hips. There was a lean torso, long legs and needle point claws on knuckled fingers. Its head was narrow, large fleshy ears twitched on its crown and four eyes, two on each side, sat high on its face. When the Kaiju curled its lips back long fangs were exposed and as it crouched down in the water, situated on a reef only a few feet away, Stiles and Derek watched nine bony tails whip and wave behind it.
"Say hello to Huli," Chris Argent's voice was loud, "watch it close, it looks like it has a mean bite."
"Huli?" Ethan's voice interrupted, "That's the name of the vicious fucking Kaiju-"
"It means fox!" Mako hissed.
Gipsy Danger was moving and Lionheart was right behind them, swerving left to make room for the more seasoned pilots to give a head on attack. Raleigh and Mako made it seem effortless, making such precise movements that it almost seemed rehearsed. They jumped, striking down to aim a hit directly on the Kaiju's jaw. It was close, close enough for Stiles to think that maybe this wouldn't be as difficult as he thought, maybe Danny had already done the job, but nothing was that easy and Huli snarled defiantly in protest.
Stiles hated seeing emotion in the Kaiju but this one, this fox, looked like chaos and it looked angry.
One of the tails swaying behind it shot forward, slamming against Gipsy Danger's torso and sending them flying backwards.
"Plasma canon," Derek's voice came after his thoughts and Stiles already had his hand lifted, palm out, fingers twitching as heat radiated up his arm and into his shoulder. Huli hissed, snapped its jaws and slithered through the water, tails whipping furiously behind it. When the Kaiju lifted off the reef it toppled into them with all four feet, claws imbedded into metal, and Stiles flinched when he heard the crunch of iron, the bend snap and break of their Jaeger. He could feel it. Sharp jolts of pain, like someone had his arm twisted, his fingers bent back but the high pitched howl that echoed next to their helmet told them that their plasma canon had been a direct hit.
"Gipsy!" Stiles choked out, relief washing through him when he prodded at Derek's thoughts, "Respond!"
"We're fine, we're gonna kill that son of a-" Raleigh grumbled, biting down on a curse before he continued, "that son of a bitch."
Titan Omega was barreling forward, running over the water and leaping into the air. The twins were good at fighting. Good at killing. But they weren't good at listening and Mako's voice was a shriek over the Conn-Pod speakers when she yelled at them to keep their position but it was too late and as they made connection with Huli, grasped its torso, ripped it from Lionheart and sent it flying through the air- the ocean waters shattered once again and a flash of deep cerulean scales darkened their vision.
Fire. The sear, burn, sizzle crisp of cooked bone marrow and electricity.
Lydia wanted to scream. She wanted to rip herself away from the third-degree heat that exploded inside her. Her body fought- twisted, cracked, writhed but the drift was strong, stronger than they had imagined, and she was consumed by the Kaiju.
First it was Jackson. The touch of his hand was butter against her cheek and the ghost of his lips like feathers dusting along the nape of her neck. His voice sounded distant and she strained to get to it, reached out and stumbled to grasp it with both hands.
"Please," her throat closed, lungs collapsed and she stretched weakly towards the fading sound of her late-husband as he disappeared into a sea of memories.
There was so much and it all tasted like poison, burned her tongue like acid as she chewed over each memory as they passed by. The memory of Pentecost, of Shatterdome, of K2, then back to Jackson and Lydia wanted to scream. Her head pounded, ached, throbbed and she wanted to reach up and dig her nails into her scalp, rip herself out of her body and fade away. Words echoed around her, the sound of Jackson laughing was loud and sharp against Isaac's tired shouting from the night prior.
It was torture and Lydia felt tears soaking her eyelashes.
She said his name, "Jackson," whispered it like a prayer but it wasn't his presence that found its way to her, no, through the thick fog came something noxious and thick. It felt heavy- profound, rough against the cloud of Lydia's mind and she gasped when the Kaiju's hum morphed into a screech and further into a roar that shook her into submission.
It felt like nothing and it felt like everything. It was dominant evolution, the complete scientific bridge that blended cloned warriors and experimental weaponry. They were powerful. Incredible. She reached for emotion, swung herself in the direction of some kind of understanding.
Just let me know you.
It was all she kept repeating, again and again as it flung her this way and that- disrupted her memories with its own and shattered her with a deafening growl.
The anti-verse was beautiful in a way that terrified her. Everything glowed, vibrated with energy she didn't understand and what she saw within it racked her with a newfound desperation for escape. The Precursors built them, tested them and sent the strongest in waves to the front lines. They were living beings designed for the sole purpose of destruction.
Lydia tried to keep steady, latched on to the Kaiju and hoped to god that it was enough to let Danny in.
"Aiden!" Derek's voice was loud and it wracked Stiles' mind when the water crashed over them.
Lionheart fell back into the ocean once Huli had been ripped away from them but what they looked up to was not a blue sky but instead was an open mouth- cheeks expanded and jaw lowered. The Kaiju's tongue was long, curling between two rows of sharp teeth. There was a horn protruding from its nose, sturdy and blunt, which it slammed into Lionheart's helmet, cracking the thick shield that protected the pilots inside.
Stiles gasped, struggled to free one of their arms and gritted his teeth, "Mor-" his voice faltered when the Kaiju shoved its horn down against them again, "Mortars!"
Scott wasn't lying when he said he'd worked on the Jaeger's speed because the large canons raised over Lionheart's shoulders fired almost immediately, knocking the sturdy Kaiju backwards. Two holes were blown through its stomach causing a splatter of blue blood to fan over their Conn-Pod.
They didn't have time to catch their breath.
Titan Omega was struggling with one of Huli's tails wrapped around their arm, swinging them carelessly into a reef.
Gipsy Danger stormed the fox-like Kaiju, firing their plasma canon which blasted through its chest. The screech that followed caused Stiles to wince, his eyes squeezed shut and he gritted his teeth.
The twins were in trouble and he could hear Ethan sputtering over himself through the speakers, "Aiden's hurt-" he hissed and as Lionheart got to their feet he could see the German Jaegers shoulder hanging on by only a few sparking wires, "we've lost our left side."
They were running out of time.
Gipsy was charging forward again, intercepting the newest Kaiju with steel knuckles to the side of its face. Lionheart followed- reloading their mortars as they went, "Get Huli!" Mako shouted, "Behind you!"
Derek said Stiles' name, questioning, curious, a statement of 'should we' or 'can we' and they turned just in time. Huli whipped one of its tails, aiming it to wrap around their helmet, but both Derek and Stiles snapped their hands up, curling a deadly grip around the fleshy limb.
Stiles' stomach fluttered and he heard Derek laugh from beside him, "Got ya."
It wasn't dark like she had expected.
The Kaiju's mind was lit with memories of the anti-verse, of being born and going to war. She could feel the connection of its hide and how it smashed against Titan Omega. She heard it wail in agony, felt it call for help that never came. It was a sad existence and Lydia almost pitied it.
Almost.
She let it take her where it wanted, let its memories flood across her own and snuff them out.
It went on for far too long, long enough to exhaust her and long enough for her to call out for Newton- long enough for her to wonder.
But soon enough there was a change and she felt the snap of jaws and a flood of something close to an emotion. Something that she didn't understand but wanted so bad to know. The red-head strained against the confines of the Kaiju mind, reached out and only found the walls of the hive, moving in waves like a systematic virus- dormant and ready for activation.
"Danny," she said his name, bit down on her lip and winced. Something sharp and cold made its way into her mind, stabbed at her thoughts, scrambled her and Lydia couldn't help but scream. She screamed and cried and thrashed inside herself because it hurt. It hurt like nothing she had felt before. Not like the fire. Not like the weight. It was completely different and as fast as it had pierced her mind, it left.
Left her empty and pliant and calm.
That was when she blinked.
Looked around.
And found that the fog had receded. Found the drift empty.
"The drift is silence," she whispered.
That was when she realized it'd worked.
Huli snapped its jaws and clawed at Lionheart, tried with all its might to curl up and latch onto their arm. The other eight tails were whipping around, slamming against the Jaeger over and over again while Gipsy held off the other a few meters away.
Titan Omega stood and aimed their plasma canon, pointed it at the alien which growled and hissed.
Stiles struggled to keep a hold of it but Derek was strong and he gripped tight, kept his eyes locked on the Kaiju while his thoughts spiked in the direction of his co-pilot. There were no questions. He didn't ask if Stiles was okay or send any comfort, there was no need, he just reached out and made it clear that they were together. Derek curled himself around Stiles' thoughts and he didn't waver, didn't even slip, just stayed put and stayed strong.
It was easy for the beta to grip back and it was easier not to let go.
Titan Omega's plasma canon glowed, shook the right arm of the Jaeger and Stiles gritted his teeth, heard Derek yell 'c'mon' and braced himself for the impact of the blow before Raleigh's voice interrupted, "Stop, Titan, stop, look!"
Stiles' eyes widened and he would have stumbled if Derek didn't have them grounded firmly in place.
The second Kaiju had its back to Gipsy and was staring blankly in the direction of the breach, its short tail waved behind it and Stiles could see it take a couple hesitant steps.
It was only seconds later that he felt Huli go slack in his grasp, felt the Kaiju only squirm slightly. He watched it, watched the way the creature closed its mouth and took in a deep breath when Raleigh ordered them to let it go. The order was un-natural and his mentor almost sounded hesitant when the words came through the speakers. They took their time, Derek glanced at Stiles, tilted his head questioningly before Stiles gave a short nod back.
It was all they had- the uncertainty.
Stiles bit down on his lip, felt his stomach twist into knots and held his breath as they uncurled the large metal hand from around the Kaiju's tail, letting it sink into the water below.
Lydia felt it.
She felt the apprehension. The sudden urge. The instinct.
And she felt the burn of flesh, the disintegration of bones, the crumble of organs and the certain promise of death.
When she opened her eyes she could hear someone screaming, heard them wailing and crying. She saw figures, shapes, but no faces and when one finally did come into view it was Isaac and he was hushing her, calming her, wiping at her cheeks and assuring her that she would be alright. Seconds later she realized it was her own screaming that echoed around them and she clasped her lips shut, felt her teeth clank together and tasted blood in her mouth.
A napkin was pushed gently under her nose and she gagged when she realized the blood was her own.
"You did it," Allison was crying, grinning wide as she ran a hand through Lydia's hair, "You guys did it."
Hazel eyes blinked and Lydia felt a lump gather in the center of her throat as she looked around Isaac to where Harmony was wrapping an oxygen mask around Danny's face and calling for the doctor.
They watched it happen.
Each of them.
Stiles chewed on his bottom lip while Derek gripped the weapons module and tried to breathe.
Raleigh waited, steady and controlled next to Mako whose lips were gently parted, eyes wide as the two Kaiju made their way back to the breach.
It was slow. A game.
Ethan looked to his brother who kept muttering that he was okay as he gripped his hurt shoulder.
It was quiet as the Kaiju sank beneath the waves and Stiles felt his heart beat rapidly against his ribcage, felt Derek's nerves flare up.
He braced himself for another attack, wondered if he should tell Derek he loves him in case the two decided to detonate- the thought itself only earned a side-eyed smile from his co-pilot, an 'I know' of sorts which made Stiles sigh and roll his shoulders back, steadying the mortar guns.
The Kaiju signatures disappeared from their radar and Stiles held his breath.
"Rangers," Chris Argent's voice broke the silence moments later, "mission complete."
Stiles wanted to collapse, to fall to his knees and just breathe but Lionheart didn't budge and instead he decided to laugh. To throw his head back and laugh, let his eyes squeeze shut and throw his helmet to the side. It was over. All of it. They had won. His eyes stung but no tears fell and Stiles bit down on his lip through the grin that wouldn't leave. Raleigh was congratulating them; Aiden and Ethan were also laughing, cursing and hollering.
Sharp honey eyes turned up to find Derek looking back at him, green eyes soft and calm, "Hey, we aren't dead," the alpha purred. He arched a brow at Stiles who shook his head, unable to fathom any anger at such a sarcastic statement, especially when Derek was looking at him, a smile curving his lips up, hands at his sides. The depth of his eyes were something Stiles could lost in. Something Stiles would get lost in and he didn't look away when Chris told them to report back to base.
He just pressed himself forward through the drift and felt Derek, strong and stable and alive beside him.
They didn't speak on their way back to base. Stiles just took in breath after breath until Lionheart was secure and the Conn-Pod doors opened.
It didn't take long for him to step out of the bindings but Derek had been quicker and before Stiles could stumble his way across the deck his co-pilot was at his side, hands gripping the beta's waist, twisting him roughly until they fell together. "We did it," Stiles choked against Derek's lips, "I can't believe we-" the next kiss was hard and bruising as a large hand smoothed up his side and rested on the Stiles' face.
"Yeah," Derek exhaled, pulling Stiles into a tight embrace, lips finding their hold on the younger pilot's throat, "We did. We did it."
They didn't bother changing but they both ran through Shatterdome, heavy boots clashing against the floor as they skidded around corners and ran down flights of stairs to get to the lab. When they got there Lydia was under observation but she smiled at them, mouth shaking as she did. Harmony was taking her pulse and Stiles swallowed painfully when he saw the broken capillaries that bruised her eye, a deep red mark right next to her pupil on the left side.
Newton was swatting at the nurses hand who was trying to steady him, "I've done this before sweetheart, just-" he shooed her, "go help her." He pointed to Lydia who couldn't stop shaking and took a shallow drink off a glass of water. The red head gasped when the nurse reached up to put a rag under her nose again, absorbing another thick drip of blood.
Stiles looked around, his eyes searched from one end of the lab to the other.
Allison's arms were flung around his shoulders and he caught her, one hand braced on the small of her back. He couldn't make out what she was saying, but he did hear Scott laugh and felt the engineer slap his hand over Stiles' back.
"Where's Danny?"
Derek was crouched next to Lydia when Stiles blurted the statement. His hands were trembling and he smoothed a wise hand down Allison's spine, the other coming up to touch Scott's arm. Large eyes narrowed from behind his glasses and Stiles swallowed again, "Guys," he tested, twirling around to look at the other side of the lab, "Where is Danny?"
Lydia's lips were pursed tight and she coughed when she tried to speak.
Newton was the one who pointed a finger towards the open door of the room and heaved a sigh, "They took him down to medical."
Derek shouted for Stiles to stop but the beta almost tripped over himself when he turned and started to run.
Stiles was heaving in breath after breath when Isaac stopped him in front of the infirmary.
It was quick and the doctor blurted out, "He's fine," before anything else. The ranger closed his eyes, caught his breath and swayed on the balls of his feet.
All he had pictured since he left the lab was Danny's catatonic face, emotionless and pale, eyes wide and bruised, blood leaking out of both his nostrils- but what he found was a young man asleep on a cot with an IV in his arm. He looked peaceful and Isaac sighed softly when Stiles tried to crane his neck and step around him, "Stiles," Dr. Lahey smiled soft and knowing, "It's a lot. He strained himself, exhausting himself. He's completely coherent and he'll be fine. All we did is give him a sedative to help him sleep and make sure his vitals were okay, which, they all were."
The beta nodded, exhaled and bit down on his lip before he felt Isaac lean forward and embrace him in a tight hug.
"You guys did good," he nodded against Stiles shoulder, "Thank you."
Stiles could hear Derek's footsteps and when Isaac stepped back Sties turned to watch him.
Derek's bottom lip hung slack, his eyebrows gathered together and Stiles smirked, reached up and ran his fingers through his hair, "He's okay."
Derek released a long breath and nodded back, "Everyone's meeting," the alpha shrugged his shoulder towards the stair case, "on the main deck."
Isaac told a few of the nurses to watch Danny and assured Stiles that he would be taken care of.
They walked together, the three of them, and Stiles breath hitched when Derek's fingers slid between his own and his co-pilot gripped his hand.
The Marshall's were there.
Lydia, Allison, Scott, Erica in her walker with Boyd, even Peter. They were all standing together and Newton was sitting in one of the chairs, spinning back and forth with a grin on his face.
Isaac went straight to Lydia who was still shaken up but had her nose bleed under control and had cleaned her face. Her hair was tied back and she wore a smile, sinking into the doctor when he wrapped his arms around her waist and moved to rest his front against her back.
Stiles hugged Erica and when she didn't say anything he understood, Boyd patted him on the back, told him that they were all proud of everything they'd accomplished that day and Stiles wished he could have found the words to express what he was feeling. It was too much and it was just enough. All of it. Everything had come so suddenly to a stop, everything that they needed to halt had been halted and Stiles didn't know how he was supposed to take a step and continue on- how he was supposed to continue moving.
Aiden's arm was in a sling but he was smiling and when he arrived with his brother they stayed close to Derek and Stiles.
Raleigh and Mako were next, walking hand in hand to receive hoots and hollers, praise and embraces. It was twice now that they had cancelled the apocalypse and Stiles was proud to stand at their side.
The warm gaze of his mentor was appreciated and Stiles smiled when Raleigh nodded his chin in their direction, "Lionheart," his voice rose and the room quieted. He looked to Ethan and Aiden, "Titan Omega," the twins smiled and straightened their backs.
Derek's boot bumped against Stiles' and he gave his hand a tight squeeze.
"I was proud to fight with you today," he smiled down at Mako and let his arm rest around her waist, "the breach is closed."
There was more applause from inside the deck as well as from outside on the hangar floor below. Stiles smiled when Derek leaned over and rubbed his nose against his temple.
"Now," the blonde turned, looking at the clock on the wall, "what should we do?"
The war clock was still ticking, seconds melting into minutes that melted into hours.
Derek's breath was warm against the side of Stiles' face and when the ranger turned and found his lips it was soft and sure.
There was no more what if, only when and the idea of a future was now just the beginning.
"Stop the clock," Stiles breathed a whisper against Derek's smile.
"What was that ranger?" Raleigh barked through a laugh, turning to watch his protégé roll his eyes.
The beta turned, reached up and pushed his glasses up on to the bridge of his nose, "I said stop the clock."
The room was full of smiling faces and Raleigh nodded, bottom lip rolled between his teeth before he looked to Herc Hansen and Chris Argent at the front of the deck.
"You heard him," Chris laughed, leaning over to slam his hands down on the desk, "stop the clock!"
Shatterdome erupted into applause and Stiles felt his heart kick-start in his chest.
Lydia's eyes closed and Isaac pressed a kiss against her cheek.
Scott was twirling his fiancé around, her face buried in the side of his neck.
And Stiles watched as the numbers on the clock disappeared. He watched and he inhaled through his nose, exhaled through his mouth. He felt Derek's hand on his shoulder, heard him say his name and when he turned he faced the reality of his future.
Something beautiful and chaotic and something that was his. Someone that was his.
"We should get out of here," Derek mumbled against the pout of Stiles' lips and he smiled.
"We've got time," Stiles sighed, wrapping his fingers around Derek's jaw.
Time was a burden. It always had been.
"Plenty of time."
;; i can not express to you how thankful i am for you all reading this at its completion. i'm so sorry it took me this long to get these chapters up but my permanent home with all my other writing is over on ao3 now. there's a link on my profile as well as a link to my tumblr. please say hello, leave feedback and let me know how you liked it. thank you all again so very much.