Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans.

The Healer

Chapter 6: Day to Day

April 14, 20XX

Raven told me keeping a diary would probably help me with my solitary days. So here I am using it for the first time. I've got to admit, I've been bored out of my mind. There have been dozens of missions since I broke my leg and I haven't got any piece of the action. I sit here all day and sure I would get updates from Cyborg but it's not the same as being there. I don't like staying in one place for a long period of time. I gotta move. Heck I'd crawl all over the tower just to get off my butt. But hey, when you've got a not-so-fine appendage, I guess it can't be helped. Raven probably noticed the agitation in my face that's why she suggested the diary. Journal keeping really is not my style, but if it keeps me from just waiting for the white walls to turn whiter, I'd write ten or a hundred pages, probably talking about how boring it is to just sit here.

April 15

Day two of this journal thing. If I started it, might as well keep going with it, you know? Last night Raven came in again doing all the checking-up and stuff and she gave me good news: I can get out of the infirmary. I'll be in crutches but hey at least I get to stare at new walls. I asked her why I couldn't have just been going around in crutches. I mean, I was fine enough to sit up and talk to people. But she told me I had broken ribs and then the obvious leg thing. She wanted to make sure that my condition was well enough so that I wouldn't strain any wounds. Now it seems I'm at that point where I am good enough to move around. She said she'd bring me the crutches sometime this week. I hope it's today because I think I really am starting to notice the walls becoming paler. Either that or this room is making me go nuts. Anyway, hope for the best. I wanna get out of this bed.

April 18

I finally got my crutches. I'm sitting in the living room and I can't get enough of being outside that room. The air actually feels better out here. Getting on my feet felt kinda weird since I haven't been walking much lately, but it isn't that big of a deal. The team's out on a mission again and I'm stuck here staring at walls. I never thought how much noise a fly can actually make and boy that sucker can really annoy you. But I can't complain. I have a new view and I don't have to lie around all day. I think I hear the guys coming up. Goodbye for now journal.

April 19

Something good happened today: Starfire and I went out together. It wasn't a date but hey it was something. We did this week's groceries (and I felt bad because I didn't get to carry a lot of it because of the crutches) and afterwards we stopped by an ice cream stand. The walk back seemed kinda short, yet we had talked about so much things and it's weird really. The five of us have been living with each other for who knows how long now and I still learn something new about them. Today my conversation with her allowed me to discover some new things about her.

We got home (and I was kinda bummed to say the least), but our talk seemed to have so much more gas. And we would've talked longer if it wasn't for the other three. They were right there on the couch as if waiting to get a little piece of our conversation. I don't know about Raven, but the other two would've surely teased us but Starfire wouldn't get it so it would be more directed at me. It's funny really: I can go in head first into enemy lairs, give a speech to the team and even to a crowd of people, yet when it comes down to these kind of things, I turn into jelly. Raven said I'd get over it but easier said than done. What can I say? Maybe I'm just a little timid in the end.

I'm just waiting for the day when I can finally ask her out. Our date would be amazing, or so I'd like it to be.

Still, I wonder where she was that night. Beast Boy jokingly said that she was on a date. I doubt it. But if she was, what would I do?

April 21

She was on a date... with Speedy. And to make it worse (for me) they had a great time.

...Why do I feel betrayed?

April 27

I was in my room when suddenly Raven walked in. I just thought she was checking on the leg but she actually came in to talk about something else―about Star. She reassured me that she is there for me to talk to and that she'll help me in any way that she can. Well that's a relief because to be honest my insides are just in turmoil right now.

April 29

I haven't talked to Starfire in a while and by talk I mean talk. When we do, it's formal and only a few words are exchanged. Seeing her and talking to her hurts; seeing her smile for someone else is painful. I want her to be happy don't get me wrong. I want everyone here to be happy. But for her to be so happy right now with another seems unfair. Maybe in the future I'll be able to accept her happiness and actually be happy for her. Like I said I do want her to be happy more than anything. But the thought of not being a part of that happiness or being the cause of it hurts a lot.

So now I mostly hang out with the guys. Distracting myself is my best escape right now. Also talking to Raven has been good to me lately. She usually asks about the leg but other than that we just talk. Even though she said I could talk to her about Starfire, I feel too down to share anything. Besides, even without consulting her with my troubles, I find great relief from our conversations. They're mostly about random stuff but I feel so at ease. She diverts my mind the most from all of my present problems. Lately, I've been looking forward to our talks.

Wonder what we're gonna talk about next time.

May 1

What am I feeling? What is this feeling? Whenever I'm with Raven, I start to feel nervous. For some reason, I'm starting to become more conscious of what I say and do around her. I don't know what I'm feeling, but I know it's something. It's warm... so warm.

Chapter end