I still hadn't moved from my spot on the couch when Soda and Pony came back inside, arguing.

"Give it here, Soda!" Pony was yelling at him, trying to grab the mail out of his good hand while Soda tried to fend him off with his cast.

"It ain't addressed to you, it's for your guardian." Soda was laughing at him and Pony wasn't amused.

"Cut the crap. Give it!"

"What is it?" I didn't like anything coming in the mail addressed to our guardian. Especially with the state having just called.

"Our report cards came,"Pony answered.

Soda was holding the mail behind his back as Pony came at him from the front, but Soda didn't think about the fact that, as he was backing up, he ended up standing right in front of where I was lying on the couch. I just reached out my arm and, catching him completely off guard, snatched it right of his hand. He was shocked.

"Hey!" He spun around and glared.

"It's my report card too. Sorry… you snooze, you lose," I told him, as he pouted.

"Nice one, Scout," Pony said, lifting my legs off the couch and sitting down, laying them back down across his lap. I found the letter in question and opened it, handing Ponyboy his and reading my own.

"I don't know why you even bother reading them, they're always all A's anyway," Soda said, sounding annoyed. It bothered him a lot that something that came so easily to us had been such a struggle for him.

"Yeah, well I can't fix cars… or anything, really," I said, "and neither can Pony."

"Yeah, I don't imagine we'd be getting all A's if we were taking auto mechanics," Pony admitted.

"I'm not getting all A's, anyway," I said. I had A's in everything except math, where my concentration problems after my incident with Steve had landed me a B-minus. Pony'd had a similar problem the previous semester, after the stress of losing Johnny and Dallas and the whole court thing, but he had managed to get back to all A's this semester. I showed Pony and he handed it to Soda.

"You think Darry will get mad?" I remembered his face when he saw the math test I had failed, right after he had shown me how to do it, and how crappy it had felt to disappoint him. I wasn't exactly itching to see that again.

"You had a reason… he'll understand," Soda assured me, but I wasn't convinced. If Soda had ever come home with all B-minuses, we would have had a celebration… but, from me and Pony, Darry just expected more.

"He wasn't too hard on me, last time," Pony said, "I'll back you up. I mean, we know it wasn't really your fault."

"Maybe we should wait … 'til tomorrow," I suggested. I figured that the state having called would be more than enough bad news to give Darry for one night.

"It's up to you, but you know he's gonna ask," Pony said, and he was right. Darry had been asking every night at dinner if our report cards had come yet. I didn't want to lie.

"Just… don't say anything unless he asks, okay?" I sat up, sliding my legs from across Pony's lap down to the floor.

"I sure won't," Soda said. "You know me, I was always begging everybody else not to bring up report cards!"

"I owe you a few… I won't say anything, either," Pony said, though I wasn't sure why he thought he owed me. I sure wasn't gonna complain, though.

"I'm going over to talk to Ben," I announced. I hadn't talked to him since before the incident with Anna, and I had a lot to tell him. I actually really missed him, which kind of surprised me. I was starting to need to have him around just as much as my brothers. I had always cared about him, but now, a part of me felt like I actually needed him, like he was family.

"I don't know, Scout… you two aren't supposed to be hanging around alone together," Soda said, hesitantly.

"Kevin is probably there," I answered, "and anyway, Soda, cut the policeman act. It's not like I don't know what you and Sandy were doing in your alone time, and there is no way I'm gonna be doing that."

"Yeah, you better not be, or you'll be visiting Ben in the cemetery."

"We won't be, so give me a break, okay? Darry isn't here and what he doesn't know won't hurt him, so can you guys just be a little bit nice and let me go over there? I haven't even seen him in days."

They seemed a little bit offended that I had assumed they would rat me out to Darry.

"Go ahead, I don't care," Pony said.

"I ain't gonna say anything," Soda added.

"Thanks. I'll be back in time to start dinner," I said, heading out the door and over to Ben's house.

I was a little bit surprised to see that Kevin's car wasn't there, but I knocked and Ben came to the door right away, a huge smile on his face when he saw me. He opened the door and hugged me so hard he lifted me off the ground.

"I missed you," I said into his ear, and he kissed my cheek.

"Me too."

"Anyone else home?" I asked.

"Just me… Is that okay?"

"I think so. Darry's not home, anyway." Since we had no plans of doing anything prohibited, I didn't feel all that guilty about breaking Darry's rules… It's not like we were gonna be rolling around in Ben's bed or anything.

"Cool, come in." He pulled me over to the couch and sat me down.

We sat down, resting against each other. He had my hand in his, and was massaging my wrist with his thumb. For a minute, he just stared at me, smiling, eventually leaning over and kissing me again. I felt his tongue pressing against my lips, and, for the first time, I opened my mouth against his, granting permission. I had worried that allowing him that would remind me too much of Steve forcing his tongue into my mouth, but Ben was gentle and must have just drank a Pepsi, because that's what he tasted like – a far cry from the sickening taste of Steve. His hands worked their way through the hair at my temples and I pulled him towards me, letting him kiss me even more deeply. Eventually, however, I needed air, and pulled back.

"Was that okay?" he asked, looking a little worried that he had somehow violated my boundaries.

I kissed him gently on the cheek.

"Do you really think I would have let you if I minded it?" I thought Ben had seen enough to know that, ever since Steve, I made it abundantly clear when I felt threatened by anything. He'd seen the whole incident with Pony. I had no reason to feel threatened by Ben, he had never crossed any lines, drawn by me or otherwise.

"I heard Anna got you into some trouble," he said, pushing the hair he had messed up with his kiss back behind my ear.

"Sweeney told, huh?" I had been sure even then that he would tell Kevin, and Kevin would tell Ben.

"Yeah."

"I tried to call your house, too, you know… I was scared. I didn't want to go in the first place – she tricked me into it - but I was scared for her."

"You know I would have found a way to get you… but I was out at my Grandpa's… and Kevin went out with Kate. I wish I had been home." Ben's Dad's father was in a nursing home a few blocks away – he and his mom and brother took turns visiting him every weekend.

"I know… I just forgot you were going out. I tried calling everyone. Two-Bit was the one who finally rescued me."

"Was it okay? I mean, nobody gave you a hard time there, did they?"

"Nah, I was just worried about Anna, about…that maybe…"

"I know," Ben interrupted. "You were being a good friend. Nobody blames you. I mean, you know better than anyone what could happen. Even with people you think you can trust."

I hesitated, wondering if I really wanted to share all that was on my mind with Ben. I decided I did.

"Even though nothing actually happened to me or Anna…the worst part is, it almost really messed stuff up with me and Darry. I really scared him, not coming home… he was really mad. I mean, really mad. More mad than I've ever seen him, at me, anyway. He … he even scared himself, because he wanted to hit me."

"But he didn't, did he?" Ben sounded horrified.

"No. No. I just feel bad… I mean, well, he never really wanted to hit me, but he was so scared when I was missing that when he found out I was actually okay, he was just mad about me making him worry."

"Have you talked to Anna?"

"No… not yet. I'm really mad at her, though … seriously, she almost made Darry and my relationship get ruined. We get along really well - it would kill me if that got screwed up."

"I don't think she meant it," Ben said softly, nuzzling against my neck and kissing my jaw.

"Ben," I started, not sure whether he would understand. "Without Darry, I wouldn't even be able to be here. I would be in a foster home, or an orphanage, or with my uncle in Texas. You get that, right?"

"Yeah," he answered, though he looked as though he hadn't really considered it much.

"I need him… I mean - he takes care of me now. Nobody else really does." Soda and Pony were aware of what was going on in my life, usually, but Darry was in charge of me, and I wanted that. I trusted him, more than anybody, to know what was right, to keep me on the right track… to keep me safe. I already felt like I had screwed up a million times since my parents had died, and that things might have never been made right again without Darry there. He was always coming to my rescue and setting me straight.

"He's not going anywhere," Ben said, taking my hand again and squeezing it. "Scout, he loves you. You know that. I mean, it sounds completely corny, but he needs you as much as you need him. We all can see that."

"But… the state… can they see it? What if they decide to split us up? Ben, I need Darry. I'm not kidding. I just need to know he's there, that he'll look out for me and not let me screw up my life by doing stupid stuff. I get scared, all the time, and… just, still… I need him, since Mom and Dad are gone. If I get taken away from him – and Pony and Soda, too - but mostly Darry, I'll fall apart."

"What does the state care? They already placed you with him. They can't just change it, for no reason, can they?"

"They called… We must have done something wrong… otherwise they leave us alone, usually."

"They called today?"

"Yeah, right when I got home. I thought it was gonna be Anna, but it was some lady from Social Services wanting to talk to talk to Darry. What if somehow they know – about me going to that party?"

"I doubt it. How would they know about that? I don't think Sweeney is an undercover state worker or anything." Ben laughed at his own joke. "Maybe it's nothing… maybe it's just to check in, see how things are going…"

"I doubt it." I just had a bad feeling.

"Hey… so how was babysitting, anyway? How's your coach's kid?" He was obviously changing the subject, and I let him. I was letting that phone call completely stress me out.

"Oh my God, Ben, she's so cute. I can't even imagine being so little. She's just such a happy baby!"

"I doubt she's happy all the time," he said. "Babies can get pretty cranky."

"Well, she hasn't, yet." I was smiling just thinking about how cute she was.

Ben was looking at me strangely.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I was thinking about kissing you again," he admitted, slyly.

"Well, you don't have to ask," I said, "but I think it's cute that you do."

He leaned over and kissed me again, and this time I was expecting the whole tongue thing, so I was a little more comfortable with it, even exploring a little with my own.

"You two aren't supposed to be in here alone together."

Kevin was in the doorway and caught the two of us completely by surprise.

"For exactly this reason."

"I thought you weren't gonna be back 'til later," Ben said.

"Cut the B.S., Ben. I talked to you about this. It's Darry's rule for Scout, and I actually think it's a pretty good one."

"Don't tell him, okay Kevin? It won't happen again, I promise." I didn't need Darry upset about the state, my report card and Ben, to boot.

"Look, Scout, I promised him, so I'm not gonna be covering for you, he'll kill me if he finds out. Next time I catch you two, I'm telling."

"There won't be a next time. I swear it. You, too, right Ben?"

"Yeah…I don't want Darry mad at me either."

"I hafta go home anyway, it's my night to cook." I got up, and Kevin immediately pointed out how red my face was. I was a bit embarrassed.

"Yeah, I know," I said, "Thanks for not telling, Kev."

"Well, don't do it again, and you'll save yourselves from me having to tell him."

"I won't," I promised. "See you guys later."

"You're supposed to be on my side," I heard Ben saying as I headed back to my own house. Figures, Darry had Kevin policing us, too.

I went into the house and found Pony reading in the armchair. I was no longer thinking of it as "Dad's chair," I realized, with a tinge of sadness. Soda was asleep on the couch.

"You manage to stay out of trouble?" Pony asked.

"Kind of," I said, going into the kitchen wondering what I would be able to find for dinner.

"What's that mean?" he called back at me, waking Soda.

"Nothing. Forget it."

"What time is it?" I heard Soda ask.

"Why are you so tired, Soda? Are you not sleeping because we switched rooms?" I would have felt bad if switching made me sleep better but the boys sleep worse.

"I'm not tired," he said, coming into the kitchen. "That's the problem. I'm bored. I need to get this cast off so I can go back to work. I'm sleepin' and smokin' just to have something to do. Sandy's working at her dad's shop, so she's not even around to keep me busy." Sandy's dad owned a tailor shop downtown.

"You give me a hard time about being alone with Ben, then you go sayin' stuff like that?" I looked at him, annoyed.

"I didn't mean that. I just mean she can't hang around with me."

"When does the cast come off, anyway?"

"I don't know… gotta go see the doctor on Friday."

"Well, if you're so bored, help me think of what to make for dinner."

"I think Darry bought hamburger… meatloaf?"

"We always have meatloaf. Do we have any charcoal? I could make hamburgers on the grill… Darry loves that." I was hoping to get him in a good mood before he asked about report cards or we had to tell him about the state's call.

"That's not a half-bad idea. I think we still have charcoal from last summer. I'll go look, while you make the burgers. If I don't come back in, it's because I found it. We can always just cook them inside if we don't have any."

"Okay."

I made the patties and he hadn't returned, so I threw them on a plate and brought them out. Soda never looked as much like my dad to me as Darry did, but seeing his back as he stood over the grill, my mind flashed back to hundreds of times over the past years, seeing my Dad at the grill, and I saw a bit of him in Soda.

But then he turned and smiled, and reality came rushing back. Dad was gone - this was Soda.

"I get to be grillmaster," he said, happily.

"That's fine with me. I'll go make some macaroni salad. Those coals take a while to get hot enough, anyway."

"I know. I'm the grillmaster."

"Okay, sorry. Jeez." I turned to leave, but he grabbed my hand and pulled me back into a hug.

"I was just kidding," he said.

"I know. I didn't mean to snap at you. I'm just worried about that call."

"I can tell. It's probably nothing. Don't worry about it."

"I can't help it."

"Well, then go make your macaroni salad, that'll keep you busy, at least."

It did take my mind off things for a while, trying to remember exactly how my mom had made it. I tried to remember everything she had put in, and I actually thought it had come out pretty good, once I finished. I stuck it in the refrigerator and went outside to see where my brothers had disappeared to.

Soda and Pony were sitting on the back steps, talking quietly.

"All done?"

"Yup. It's in the fridge."

"I'm gonna put the burgers on, then. Darry should be home any minute." Soda stood up.

"Okay." I sat down next to Pony. I knew he was bothered by the phone call too, but I didn't bring it up. We all just pretty much sat there in silence until we heard Darry's truck pull into the driveway.

"We're all back here!" Soda yelled when he heard the truck door slam shut, and Darry came around the side of the house with a big smile on his face. He must have smelled the grill.

"Mmm. Burgers… good idea, Scout."

"Thanks."

He could tell the minute he looked at us that something was bothering me and Pony.

"What's with the faces?" Pony and I just looked at each other.

"The state called, looking for you," Pony finally said.

"Oh. Was it some lady named Robertson?"

"Yeah. Wait, you knew she was gonna call?" I was not expecting that.

"Yeah, she just needs to set up a time with us to do a home visit, to make sure everything is going okay."

"So… we're not in trouble?" Even Soda sounded relieved, despite the fact that minutes ago he had tried to convince me that it was nothing.

"I don't think so… Not that I know of, anyway."

"I just wasted a whole afternoon worrying about that," I said, feeling dumb.

"Me too," Pony agreed.

"You two need to relax. Unless something changes, the state is pretty happy with things staying the way they are. Shove over." Darry pushed me over and sat down between the two of us.

Pony and I breathed a mutual sigh of relief as we watched Soda take the burgers off the grill.

"Those smell great, Soda," Darry said. I agreed.

And the secret of the phone call having been solved made them taste even better.

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A/N: as always, feedback is very much appreciated.