Chapter 14

Monday

A door banged shut and Brittany looked up expectantly, taking a deep breath as she saw the familiar figure approaching from out of the school and across the parking lot. She pushed herself forward from the wall she had been leaning against and straightened up, pulling nervously at her cheerios skirt and smoothing a hand self consciously over her ponytail. Santana didn't notice her right away, her gaze focused on the blackberry in her hand and Brittany stared as the woman continued towards her, unaware of the blonde's presence until she finally looked up and came to an abrupt stop a few metres away.

"...Brittany"

She sounded almost frightened and the blonde watched as her eyes flicked anxiously around the deserted parking lot. After satisfying herself there was no one around, she turned her gaze back to the blonde, seeming to steady herself and forcing a smile to her lips.

"Did you..did you have something to ask about class?"

Her voice sounded high and unnatural and Brittany noticed that she stayed standing awkwardly where she had stopped, unwilling to close the gap between them. Brittany suddenly wondered if she had made a mistake in forcing the woman to talk to her, maybe this would only make things worse? Clearly Santana didn't want too see her right now.

But would she ever want to see her Brittany wondered? She had already waited for what felt like forever and she couldn't carry on waiting, hoping for Santana make the first move.

She had to be honest.

"No"

At the cheerleader's abrupt reply Santana stared at the ground, seeming unsure of what to do next. She shifted her purse further up her shoulder and took a slow breath before speaking again.

"Right."

She looked up, her guarded eyes meeting Brittany's and they stared without words, a faint, worried crease etched into Santana's forehead.

Finally, she gave another, quick look around the car park, before unlocking the Mercedes and gesturing reluctantly for Brittany to get in.

"..I guess I better take you home"

...

They rode without talking for the first few minutes, Santana keeping her eyes trained on the road, gripping the wheel tightly as she waited for Brittany to say something. There was an uncomfortable awkwardness between them, hanging in the air as a constant reminder of the kiss that they both could not forget, yet neither wanted to address.

Finally, with her eyes flicking nervously to the woman next to her, the blonde carefully broke the heavy silence.

"So..how are you?"

Santana didn't answer right away and Brittany was about to speak again when she heard the woman reply softly,

"I'm ok..how are you?"

Brittany answered truthfully

"Not great..you've been avoiding me"

Santana protested weakly but her excuses didn't convince either of them and she let the cheerleader finish.

"..you didn't talk to me at all in class today"

"It was the first day back Brittany. I had so many things to do...I just-"

Brittany frowned

"Yeah, you were busy...I get it"

A flash of guilt passed across the brunette's face but Brittany didn't see, her eyes fixed on the passing streets outside the window, unable to force her gaze towards her teacher. A block of houses passed before she spoke again, her voice low.

"..did you get my texts?"

The woman swallowed and tucked a strand of hair nervously behind her ear

"Yes"

"You didnt reply"

Santana sighed sadly, the despair in the cheerleader's voice making her heart constrict.

"Brittany...I couldnt"

"Why?"

"You know why"

"Do I?..I just wanted to know if you were ok, it wasn't...it's not..."

Her shoulders slumped as she tailed off, unable to articulate what she really wanted to say.

How she had waited and waited to text, not wanting to disturb her too early but desperate to know how she was feeling, what she was thinking about the night before. How she had sat on her bed all day, staring intently at her phone, willing it to buzz, praying for a text saying anything, just a reply, a good morning would have been enough. And how nothing had come. No text, no call. How she had been miserable every day of the last week of the Christmas holidays, confused and upset, wanting so badly to go back to school and see Santana, and equally scared to go back, dreading finding out the reasons Santana had been avoiding contact and terrified that she already knew what they were.

How could she hope to explain all of that, all of those feelings, how she had thought of nothing else, to a woman who had barely been able to make eye contact with her that morning in class? It was impossible.

"...I just wanted to know you were ok"

Santana nodded gently

"I know"

"Then why couldn't you reply?"

"Because you shouldn't even have my number. I'm your teacher"

Brittany sighed, tired of hearing those familiar words.

"Well, you gave it to me"

"I know, and I'm sorry. I shouldnt have done that...it was a mistake"

"A mistake?"

Santana's voice was tight when she answered.

"Yes. A mistake Brittany. I was very drunk, I didn't mean to...to..kiss you, and I'm sorry. It was completely irresponsible of me...I should never have done it...but I was drunk...and I was feeling kind of down because of new years..but that's not an excuse...it just shouldn't have happened...and I'm sorry"

Brittany took a deep breath and braced herself for the reply she knew was coming as she asked quietly,

"..but did it mean anything?"

"Brittany..."

"Just tell me...did it mean anything at all to you?"

Santana felt sick, her heart hammering in her chest and her palms clammy against the steering wheel as she answered gently, wanting more than anything to tell Brittany the truth, to say what she knew she couldn't. That of course it meant something to her, of course it hadn't been nothing, how could Brittany not know that? How could she not feel that it had meant everything?

"No...it didn't...it didn't mean anything to me"

She choked the words out, flinching when she saw the girl's reaction.

"...I'm sorry"

There was a horrible silence as she finished, the blonde swallowing down the dull ache in her throat and trying to blink away the hot tears that threatened to fall. When she finally spoke, her voice sounded hollow.

"Could you pull over please?"

Santana turned her head, confused

"What?"

Brittany refused to meet her gaze, keeping her blurring eyes on her lap.

"Can you please pull over? I want to get out"

"But we aren't at your house yet"

Brittany's voice rose, desperate to get out of the car before she embarrassed herself further by bursting into tears.

"Just let me out, I can walk"

"I don't want you to walk. I want to make sure you get back ok"

"I'll be fine. Just stop"

Santana shook her head, looking almost near tears herself

"I can't...Please let me take you home Brittany"

The blonde let out a noise of frustration

"Stop doing that! Just stop it, please"

"Stop doing what?"

"Pretending like you really care about me"

Santana turned to her with a pained look, her voice pleading.

"But I do care about you"

Brittany finally looked up, unable to stop her tears overflowing.

"Yeah, in the same way you care about Rachel, and Puck, and Quinn...it's not what I meant"

Santana breathed out heavily, wanting to say so many things, wanting so badly to reach across and hold the crying girl in front of her.

"Brittany...please..just let me drive you home"

But Brittany was barely listening and desperate to get out of the car she unclipped her belt, putting one hand firmly against the door handle.

"Ms. Lopez, I'd like to get out"

Santana looked like it physically hurt her but she finally gave in, slowing the car to a stop, her hands trembling as she jerked the handbrake.

As soon as they stopped moving, Brittany threw open the door and climbed out, tugging her bag after her and not looking back at Santana as she walked away, tears running freely down her face. Angry at herself, she swept a hand roughly across her cheeks and willed herself to stop crying, to stop being so stupid.

Of course Santana didn't like her like that. Santana was a beautiful, intelligent, amazing woman who could probably have anyone she wanted, and Brittany was just a stupid, blonde cheerleader who was barely 18.

The embarrassment made her stomach clench uncomfortably and she walked faster towards her street, her head down as another sob burst painfully from her throat, sending a fresh river of tears coursing down her face.

...

Wednesday

Santana checked her watch distractedly, flicking her eyes down without really seeing as the faint frown that she had worn almost permanently in the last few weeks settled over her face once again. Term had only started 3 days ago and she already felt exhausted. She looked down again, realising she hadn't actually noticed the time, and forced herself to take in the numbers on her wrist.

3.46PM

That meant it had been almost exactly 52 hours since she'd seen Brittany.

She pressed her eyes together wearily for a second, sighing gently. She really shouldn't be thinking like that. But after everything that had happened on Monday, she had thought of nothing else. The sight of Brittany walking away, tears pouring down her perfect face had proved impossible to get out of Santana's head, and every time she remembered their conversation, which seemed to be at least once an hour, she felt a painful tug of guilt in her chest that would remain there persistently until she managed to distract herself with something else for awhile. She had looked out for the girl the next day at school but had been surprised, and a little worried, to find her missing not only from her class but also all her other lessons too. Brittany's attendance had been perfect up until now and it made Santana's chest tighten to think that she might be taking the time off because of what had been said in her car.

Reaching the classroom she leant forward to pull the door handle, forcing thoughts of Brittany from her head until later and debating whether to pick up her marking to take home now, or to just stay and finish it at her desk. She decided quickly to just stay and pushing open the door, her thoughts were preoccupied with how long it would take and exactly how liberal she should be with the grades, seeing as it was the start of term.

The blinds were drawn, leaving the room shadowy and dim as she entered, and although a hushed sound in the corner drew her eyes, it took a few seconds for her to fully comprehend what she was seeing.

Two dark figures, one half laying across a desk, arms wrapped gently around the other as a curtain of dark hair fell around their faces, partially obscuring the lips that connected them. 2 bags lay discarded on a nearby chair, clearly forgotten as the kiss deepened and hands disappeared under the shorter girl's shirt, suddenly jarring Santana out of her silence. Soft moans had prevented them from hearing Santana's quiet entrance, but her audible gasp when she had realised what she was seeing seemed to catch their attention and two heads snapped towards her.

"Oh!"

With a surprised whimper, Rachel pushed herself off of the desk, pulling a mortified Quinn by the hand to stand beside her, her eyes wide with terror. With their hands clasped tightly together, they stared at the teacher, cheeks blushing scarlet as they stood frozen in panic.

Santana regarded the two girls with complete confusion, ruffled hair, slightly breathless, a few undone buttons on Quinn's blouse. What the hell was going on? Wasn't Quinn with Puck? Wasn't Rachel with that tall football player guy? She shook her head faintly in disbelief. Was just everyone at McKinley gay now?

She lifted one hand to her forehead, forcibly closing her mouth that had been hanging open in shock and sighed wearily.

"uh...what is going on?"

Rachel chewed her lip nervously, eyes darting instantly to Quinn who stared guiltily at the ground.

"Um..we were...well, we were-"

Santana could't help a small smile at the girl's obvious discomfort.

"Yes, I saw what you were doing Rachel, you don't have to explain that...but why are you here? School finished almost an hour ago, and well, this is my classroom...not the back seat of your car"

Santana's tone seemed to put Rachel at ease and she visibly relaxed a little, seeming to find her voice again.

"We're really sorry...we thought you'd gone home and we had to..talk about something" She blushed "...and we didn't have anywhere else to go"

Santana raised her eyebrows

"Right...well I take it you've finished...talking..?"

Finally Quinn looked up, her eyes still frightened.

"Are you going to tell Principal Figgins about this?"

Santana frowned,

"No, of course not"

The blonde girl looked doubtful,

"Ms. Lopez..my parents..if they find out about this.."

"Quinn..I wouldn't.."

Santana stopped to consider her words, wanting to make sure she left the girl in no uncertainty as to what she meant.

"Quinn, I don't care that you were kissing...obviously I would rather you didn't do it in my classroom, but it doesnt bother me at all that it was with Rachel."

"I'm not gay"

Santana nodded gently

"Ok..but..I really hope you know that it wouldn't matter if you were..not to me anyway"

Quinn took a deep breath, finally seeming convinced that Santana wasn't angry.

"..you really won't tell anyone at all about this?..not even Mr Schuester?"

Santana smiled reassuringly

"I promise"

There was a silence as the two girls looked at each other, unsure of what to do next.

Santana laughed "I'm not going to tell you off, you can go...but if you do ever want to talk about this, I'm always here ok?..For anything"

Rachel smiled gratefully and they picked up their bags before moving to go, the brunette reaching to gently take the blonde's hand as they reached the door. Santana held it open as they left, adding in a low voice as they stepped into the hallway.

"Oh, and girls?...The only day I ever go home before 3.00pm is on a Tuesday"

She paused

"So in case you do need to have another 'talk' or anything any time soon...try and do it then ok?"

Quinn's cheeks flamed red again but Rachel let out a small giggle and nodded, embarrassed, but relieved that Santana was so relaxed about it.

"Thanks Ms. Lopez"

Santana smiled, suddenly feeling a rush of fondess for the petite brunette in front of her.

"No problem...I'll see you two tomorrow ok?"

The girls set off down the hall hand in hand and Santana watched them go, smiling as Rachel put her arm protectively around the blonde's shoulders and telling herself so firmly that she almost believed it, that the pangs in her chest were happiness, and absolutely definitely not jealousy.

...

girlscoutnaya. tumblr. com - I've set up a tumblr for this fanfiction so you can have a idea of when I'll be updating, and so I can reply to reviews, and I might do previews or something if it's going to be, another, really late update etc so go and follow if ya like. I'd appreciate it ;)

This chapter isn't very long, sorry about that, and it's definitely not my best. And the whole Faberry thing got out of hand to be honest, but I decided to keep it, I hope you like. It isn't going to be a massive part of the story, I don't think, so don't worry if you don't like it so much, I just love Rachel and Quinn together.

Also, don't freak, Brittana get together soon, I promise.

I'm still dead from 'Heart'. Best episode ever.

Anyway, your reviews make me feel like I'm actually doing something good, rather than wasting my time writing soft porn, so thank you. You're all so sweet.

Hope you enjoy

x