Chapter 15
"-he might even ask you to prom. Do you think you would say yes if he did? I think it would be really cute, you would look so good together. But do you like him? You've never said anything, in fact I always thought you liked...Brittany?"
Mercedes sighed heavily at the blonde opposite her, who sat absentmindedly playing with the straw in her empty carton of apple juice. Clearly she wasn't paying attention.
"Brittany..."
She picked up a grape from the tray in front of her and threw it at the cheerleader who barely reacted, staring with vague surprise at the piece of fruit as it bounced from her shoulder and landed on the table, but seeming unable to summon any more interest than that.
Mercedes watched her with a frown before leaning forward and raising her voice slightly.
"Brittany, what's wrong with you? Are you listening at all?"
Reluctantly the blonde lifted her eyes, dragging her thoughts back to the conversation they'd been having and trying to remember what it had been about. Sam was it? Something about Sam? Or Quinn maybe, Quinn and Puck? She wasn't sure.
She'd been preoccupied. Thinking about Santana. Again.
Thoughts of her teacher were all that seemed to be in her head these days and she was finding it harder and harder to concentrate on anything else. It had been exactly 2 weeks since she had stormed out of the woman's car and they still hadn't spoken, not properly. It remained awkward and uncomfortable whenever they saw each other, Brittany stayed silent in lessons and Santana seemed to be making a point of not calling on her for answers. And it wasn't like they ever ran into each other anywhere else, there was no reason for them to see each other at all outside of lessons, and with a rush of sadness Brittany realised this was probably how things would stay until the end of the year. Then she would go off to college, maybe, if she got accepted anywhere, and Santana would go off to teach somewhere else, and that would be it. They wouldn't ever see each other again.
The thought made Brittany's chest hurt so she pushed it from her head, turning in her chair to drop the empty juice carton in the bin behind her and then moving back to face Mercedes, determined to keep focus this time.
"Sorry...you were talking about...Quinn, or Sam or something?..carry on"
Mercedes raised her eyebrows,
"You didn't hear a single word that I said did you?"
Brittany hesitated before realising there was no way out of it and shook her head guiltily.
"Sorry..I'm just kind of tired, I keep zoning out"
Mercedes smiled understandingly,
"Nervous about regionals?"
Brittany nodded, despite it being untrue, and Mercedes offered a sympathetic "Same" in return before looking up and addressing a loud greeting to their friends over the girl's shoulder.
"Hey!..guys,over here"
She waited until they came closer before telling them with a nervous smile,
"We're talking about Regionals"
Puck looked down at her,
"So you've heard then?"
"...heard what?"
Grinning, he set his tray down with an unecessarily loud bang and slid into the seat next to Brittany, reaching across to take a french fry from her plate and shoving it unceremoniously in his mouth before he began.
"Puck?..Heard what?"
Quinn, Tina and Kurt sat down less dramatically in the remaining chairs and everyone stared at him questioningly, waiting for him to share whatever news he seemed to have found out. He took a swig from his can of coke before answering, enjoying the suspense he had created.
Mercedes sighed,
"Puck, stop being a fool, just tell us"
"Ok, you're gonna love this...guess who is coming to regionals with us? To help Mr Schue"
Quinn rolled her eyes and speared a lettuce leaf with her fork, obviously unimpressed
"That isn't news Puck. We all know Ms. Pillsbury is coming. She came last year and I guess she'll go every year whilst she's still in love with Mr Schuester, we all knew that already...God, you're such an idiot"
Puck shot her a look of annoyance,
"Why would I be excited if it was Ms. Pillsbury? Obviously I don't mean her Quinn, or I wouldn't be making a big deal about it..."
He sighed as though this was obvious,
"and you say I'm the idiot"
She pulled a face at him but he ignored it, looking back around the table with barely contained excitement.
"Ms. Pillsbury isn't coming this year cause she has to go and see her brother or something, but we get someone even better. And not just for Regionals either, apparently she's coming to help run Glee for the whole rest of the year..."
He paused for dramatic effect, giving them all the opportunity to guess before saying the name slowly and deliberately, raising both fists in the air in a gesture of success.
"Ms. Lopez"
Kurt's face broke into a delighted smile and he turned to Tina and Mercedes who laughed at his excited squeal, both girls pleasantly surprised but not massively bothered about the news, having never properly met the teacher. Quinn just rolled her eyes again, seemingly bored by Puck's obvious infatuation.
On his other side however, Brittany seemed to be having trouble breathing, her jaw dropping in surprise, and when she spoke it was quiet, choked.
"..Seriously?"
Puck nodded, not seeming to notice the dramatic effect the news seemed to be having on the girl, and carried on.
"Yep. It's definite. I overheard Mr. Schue talking to Coach Beiste in the changing rooms and he said that he asked her before Christmas if she would help out with Glee and she said yes. Apparently she was meant to start coming to our rehearsals and stuff at the start of term but she's been really busy so she couldn't help out till now, but she's definitely coming to regionals this weekend. For the whole trip. She's staying in the hotel with us and everything"
They began to chatter amongst themselves, Tina and Mercedes asking questions about Ms. Lopez whilst Kurt and Puck became the unofficial authorities on the teacher, none of them paying attention to their friend staring worriedly down at her lunch.
Feeling someone nudge her arm, Brittany looked up to find Quinn staring at her questioningly.
"You ok?"
She nodded quickly, pushing her lips upwards into an unrealistic smile and trying to focus on her salad.
"Yeah, I'm fine"
...
7.30am - Regionals Weekend
"Good Morning Ms. Lopez"
Santana pulled her neat, black suitcase behind her, locking the car over her shoulder and advancing towards Will, who stood smiling by the open bus doors as she approached.
"Hey Will. How long have you been here?"
He pushed up the sleeve of his coat, tipping his wrist to the side to see the watch face which glinted in the early morning sun.
"About 10 minutes"
He rubbed his hands together to warm them up a little in the cold air.
"I like to get here early"
Santana nodded, coming to a stop just in front of him.
"No kids here yet?"
He shook his head,
"Not yet...here let me get those for you"
He moved forward to pick up her bags, the bus driver appearing from around the side of the bus to help load them into the storage unit. When they were safey stacked in the corner of the compartment, the driver climbed aboard and Will turned back to Santana, suddenly seeming to notice her properly.
"Hey, you look amazing"
She laughed, flattered, and gave a light shrug.
"Well, it is regionals. I made an effort"
Will nodded, dragging his eyes back up to her face.
"You certainly did"
Santana smirked and looked down at herself, knowing she looked good. Instead of her usual suit, she had chosen to wear her Chanel shift dress for the occasion, black, tight, cut just above the knee. Her trademark heels were the usual black, 4 inches, but Louboutins this time, the bright scarlet sole just visible as she turned to the side.
Her hair was down as she preferred it, loosely curled and pinned away from her face, similiar to how she had worn it on New Years Eve with jet black waves cascading over her shoulders.
She was beautiful, even more so than usual.
She was just about to comment on Will's choice of outfit for the competition, to compliment him on resisting the temptation of one of his many sweater vests for a rather more attractive black suit, when a car pulled up behind them, 3 students getting out.
"Ms. Lopez!"
A beaming Rachel Berry was suddenly advancing towards them, dragging an unecessarily large holdall behind her whilst Kurt and Blaine waved goodbye to Burt Hummell as he drove away.
"Hi Rachel"
The brunette stopped in front of her, seeming to have forgotten her embarrassment from the last time they saw each other and smiling widely.
"Well I must say, this is a lovely surprise. I'll admit I had heard some rumours circulating that you were to replace Ms. Pillsbury in her role as 'Glee Club helper' for the duration of the Regionals trip, but, given the source of the information, I had assumed it to be false."
She delightedly gestured to Santana with both hands.
"But here you are"
Santana laughed,
"Yes, here I am"
Kurt and Blaine had arrived beside them, both seeming pleased, if not quite as excited as Rachel, at Santana's presence.
"Hey Ms. Lopez, Mr Schuester"
"Hey guys, how are you? Nervous?"
The trio nodded and Blaine stifled a yawn,
"I barely slept"
Another car pulling up caught their attention and Santana turned around to see Quinn's shiny new jeep slow to a stop behind them. After a few seconds all four doors opened and two blonde cheerleaders emerged, closely followed by 2 other girls Santana vaguely recognised but didn't know by name.
Will stepped forward to take their bags as they approached.
"How are you feeling this morning girls? Excited?"
They nodded half heartedly, still half asleep and moved towards the others as he loaded their cases into the coach, only Brittany looking a little wary when she spotted Santana who was watching them approach.
"Hi Quinn"
"Hi Ms. Lopez"
Quinn gave her a small smile, her eyes flicking nervously to Rachel and then back to the teacher, a faint blush on her cheeks that had nothing to do with the cold.
Santana hesitated before acknowledging the other blonde, trying to make her tone casual as she forced the words out.
"...Morning Brittany"
After a brief pause Santana followed the greeting with a shy smile, trying to ignore the butterflies in her stomach and feeling extreme relief when the girl mirrored her expression rather than ignoring her, like she had been dreading.
She held the gaze for a moment longer before turning to the other girls with a smile.
"Hi..I'm sorry I don't know your names, I'm Ms. Lopez"
Mercedes and Tina introduced themselves whilst the others started to pile onto the bus, Puck, Sam and Mike arriving just as Quinn and Brittany had settled at the back.
Puck slid into the seat next to Quinn with a grin, leaning in as though he were about to press his lips against hers.
"Good Morning..."
She sighed, pushing his face away and turning hers away to the side,
"Don't Puck"
"Huh? What's the problem?..I cant kiss you any more?"
Quinn pulled a face, making a show of getting up and moving to sit on Brittany's other side.
"I'm so not in the mood for you today Puckerman"
He shrugged in obvious bewilderment, sitting back in his seat and turning to mutter sarcastically,
"My prom date ladies and gentlemen...lucky me"
Quinn pretended not to hear him, instead glaring out of the window as Brittany looked between the two of them with raised eyebrows, the others smirking.
At the front of the coach the rest of the club had just finished arriving and climbed onto the bus with Sugar the last to get on, hauling an oversized leopard print handbag along with her.
When everyone was present, the two teachers also climbed aboard, Santana's eyes nervously connecting with Brittany's for a fleeting second before she tore her gaze away, sitting down hurriedly at the front. Will slid into the seat next to her as the doors shut and turned around with a grin as he addressed the entire bus, a sense of building excitement and nerves already palpable in the air.
"Regionals..here we come"
...
9.30am
They made it to the hotel in good time and Will assembled all the students in the lobby for a quick debriefing before handing out the keys to their rooms. He held a clipboard in his hands and he stared down at it in concentration before speaking.
"Right, we'll sort out rooms in a minute, but first I'm going to give you all an itinerary so you know where you have to be and at what times over today and tomorrow"
He pulled a sheaf of papers from under the top sheet and handed them to Rachel to pass around.
"After you get your keys you can all take your stuff upstairs and then you'll have about half an hour before our first rehearsal."
He looked around the room before pointing to a set of double doors on his left, a large sign reading 'Show Choir Regional Competition 2012' on a stand in front.
"Ok, so the stage must be through there and that's where we'll meet at..."
He checked his watch,
"10am...now, you can take your costumes and make up etc backstage beforehand if you like so it's all ready for the performance, but right now the other club are rehearsing so you won't be allowed in for another half an hour or so...actually you may as well just go to your rooms for that time, but whatever you want to do is fine"
He took a breath,
"Everyone with me so far?.."
The Glee club nodded, surprisingly attentive
"Great. Ok, so let's work out where everyone is going. We have 7 rooms and I have a list here of who I thought might like to share, but it isn't set in stone. I don't mind you swapping around as long as everyone sticks to the rules"
Puck raised his hand, smirking
"Can I stay in Quinn's room?"
Will looked at him with a unamused smile
"Even if Quinn wanted to, which, judging by her reaction she does not, I think you know my answer would have to be no"
Puck shrugged,
"Her loss"
"Yes ok, thank you Puck, you have actually highlighted one of the rules but let's try to stay on topic, yeah?...So, as Puck has demonstrated, no boys and girls together please.."
He directed a sympathetic smile towards Kurt and Blaine who stood hand in hand to his right.
"And no couples I'm afraid"
Blaine frowned in disappointment and Kurt rubbed his arm comfortingly,
"Who am I going to share with then?"
Will looked down at his list.
"Well, I thought you might share with Puck..and Kurt with Finn, is that ok with you all?"
The four boys seemed to deem that acceptable, Finn leaning forward to high five Kurt and Will stepped forward to hand them their keys.
"...So that leaves Mike, Sam and Artie to stay in the bigger room"
They all seemed happy enough about that and Will smiled, pleased things were going smoothly.
"Ok, Girls..."
He looked down again at his list of names.
"I was thinking, Sugar and Tina in one room, Mercedes and Brittany in another, which leaves Qu-"
"Quinn and I together?" Rachel interrupted, her voice even higher than usual.
Will paused.
"That's alright isn't it?..You two are friends, right?"
Quinn nodded quickly, trying to avoid looking at Ms. Lopez, whose eyebrows had raised the minute Will suggested the two share a room.
"Yes, that's fine Mr Schue, I'm sure we'll be fine"
He nodded, handing them the key and tucking his clipboard back into his bag.
"Great. That's everyone sorted then."
He turned to gesture at Santana who had been standing quietly beside him for the duration of his speech, her gaze fixed on her nails as she tried to avoid looking at Brittany.
"Obviously we will be on the same corridor, I will be in no.22 and Ms. Lopez will be in 24, so if you need anything just come and find us"
She looked up to smile in agreement at his words and Will gave a short nod to all the students, picking up his bag as they started to leave.
"Ok, you can go, go unpack your stuff, relax for 20 minutes and we'll see you all for rehearsals at 10am...and guys?"
He smiled
"Bring your A game"
...
7.30pm - Backstage
"Are you ready?"
"I'm really nervous"
"I feel like I'm going to be sick"
Brittany frowned,
"Same, I feel awful"
Rachel put a comforting arm round her and attempted an encouraging smile.
"I know, but we've rehearsed all day, the songs are perfect, I really think we'll win"
Mercedes groaned
"Don't say that, that makes me even more nervous"
"No, I think she's right"
They turned to look at Quinn who was smoothing her hair out nervously.
"We've worked hard for this, we deserve it"
Puck slung his arm around the blonde's shoulder, barely noticing when as usual she shook it off impatiently.
"Exactly, come on, we can win this"
Finn stood nervously beside him, nodding in an attempt to convince himself more than anyone else.
"Yeah, I think we can"
Quinn leaned around Rachel and bent next to an increasingly pale looking Brittany, gently squeezing her arm.
"Are you alright?"
The blonde closed her eyes for a second and took a deep breath, her brow creasing as she nodded.
"I think so. I'm just nervous I guess"
"Yeah, me too"
On the stage to the side of them, the first Glee club's performance was coming to an end and the New Directions looked around at each other nervously. Will and Santana, who had been speaking quietly a few metres away, came over, Will looking excited.
"Is everyone ready?"
Rachel nodded, looking around at the anxious faces of her friends and deciding to answer for them.
"Although a little apprehensive, yes, I think we are all ready to perform. And can I just say, I have a very good feeling about this year, I really think we can do this"
Will smiled,
"Rachel's right, you can do this, your songs are great, you've never been so well prepared..I think this could be it"
The Adams County Christian Glee Club left the stage and Will ushered the students closer to the curtains, Santana suddenly finding herself at the back of the group next to Brittany.
She turned her head, her eyes flicking nervously to the girl's face.
"...Good luck"
Brittany looked up, not having noticed the teacher standing there until she spoke and Santana noticed with some concern how pale she was.
"Brittany, are you ok?"
The blonde nodded, Santana's gentle tone making her her heart flutter despite the nerves in her stomach, and smoothed her dress out, her hands trembling.
"I'm just a little nervous"
Santana nodded understandingly, adding with a shy smile,
"I'm sure you'll be great"
Brittany tried to smile back but even her head was starting to ache and the expression didn't quite reach her eyes.
"Thanks"
Santana opened her mouth to say something further but a loud voice boomed out from the speakers overhead, capturing everyone's attention. The stage curtain had been lifted, and the music for their opening song could just be heard over the announcement.
"And now..from Lima's William McKinley High School...The New Directions"
After a quick thumbs up from Will, the students bounded out onto the stage, Brittany turning for just a second to look at Santana who gave her an encouraging smile as she rushed out to take her position.
Will reached over to pull Santana next to him, their shoulders brushing against the curtains.
"Do you think they can win?"
She nodded, squeezing his arm with a confident smile,
"Of course they'll win"
...
8.30pm
The performance had gone well, extremely well in fact and as they waited on the stage an hour later for the results to be announced, amid the nerves and worry that they might not make it to Nationals, was a feeling that they had at least done the very best they could.
Rachel's voice had been amazing, easily better than the other club's lead vocalists and the dancing had been perfect, Will thinking again how grateful he was to have such brilliant choreographers as Mike and Brittany.
The songs were well chosen and even Santana couldn't help but marvel again at how talented the group was. Her eyes had remained mainly on Brittany throughout the performance, who had danced brilliantly although perhaps a little less energetically than usual. However when she had occasionally let her gaze wander to the other students to see the full performance, she felt sure that their Glee club was the best out of the three.
On the stage third place had just been announced and Santana watched anxiously with Will as the Jefferson High School Glee club went up to collect their trophy.
"And now...the winner of the Ohio Show Choir Regional competition, going through to compete at Nationals in New York..."
The head judge opened the envelope with the winner's name painfully slowly and Santana couldn't take her eyes from Brittany's face, wanting so much for her to win, to see her happy.
The piece of paper was finally in his hand and he cleared his throat loudly, reading the name with a pleased smile.
"...From Lima's William McKinley High School..The New Directions!"
The applause from the audience was thunderous and Santana suddenly felt herself pulled into a celebratory hug with Will, her eyes torn away from Brittany as he threw his arms around her shouting.
"They won! We're going to Nationals"
She laughed as he span her around, the force of her own happiness surprising her and when he pulled back, leaving one arm around her, she looked up at him with a smile.
"I'm really glad you asked me to do this"
He grinned back at her,
"I'm really glad you agreed"
On the stage, the Glee Clubs were taking final bows, the head judge clapping enthusiastically. He gestured to where Rachel and Finn stood in front of the others, holding the trophy aloft.
"The New Directions everybody..."
They left the stage to more applause, still cheering and laughing noisily as they disappeared into the wings where their teacher's were waiting.
Rachel threw herself into Santana's arms, surprising the woman, who almost fell backwards as the brunette barrelled into her.
"We won Ms. Lopez, we won! We're going to New York!"
"I know" answered Santana laughing, pulling back but keeping one arm around the girl's shoulders as the other students swarmed around her, their faces flushed and happy
"You were amazing"
"We were amazing"
Mercedes agreed, beaming and lifting the trophy to loud cheers from the others,
"And we're taking it all the way to Nationals!"
The students were uncontrollable, shouting and laughing as they passed the trophy between them, Will trying to make his voice heard over the noise.
"Guys, guys! We're all really happy but be quiet for a second, shh for a minute, I just want to say something...Hey Puck, put Quinn down...thank you..ok, quiet.."
He waited for the noise to quiet into a low, excited buzz before he spoke, a happy grin on his face as he addressed his students.
"Ok, first off, I just want to say how proud I am of you all. You were great today and you deserve that place at nationals. You worked hard, and it paid off...You were amazing"
His words were met with raucous applause and he clapped along, allowing them this outburst for a few seconds before motioning once again for quiet.
"So, as a well done, and to show you how much I appreciate all your hard work...I want to take you all out for dinner tonight"
More excited cheers at his announcement.
"I've made a reservation for 9.30" He checked his watch "So we've got about half an hour till the coach comes and picks us up"
Will grinned, leaning forward to take the trophy from Blaine and holding it above his head in victory.
"And we'll put this in the middle of the table!...now come on, go get ready. We'll all meet in the lobby in 20 minutes"
The kids began to leave noisily, carrying a loud buzz of excitement with them as Santana and Will watched, laughing as Puck tried to lift a protesting Kurt into the air, quickly buckling under the furiously wriggling boy's weight.
"Umm...Mr Schue?"
Both teachers turned at the voice, surprised to see a white faced Brittany standing by the stage entrance, where she had remained unnoticed in all the excitement.
"Brittany? What's the matter? Are you feeling alright?"
The blonde shook her head, lips pressed together as she lifted a shaky hand to push her hair from her face.
Will rushed towards her, Santana staying too but hanging back as the last of the Glee club went off to their rooms to get ready.
"What's wrong?"
Brittany shook her head again, her voice coming out in a low whisper as her skin took on an even paler hue.
"I'm not sure. I feel kind of sick, and shivery. I think I need to go to bed"
"Oh Brittany, how long have you been feeling like this?"
"Umm, I guess since we got to the hotel...but it started to get really bad just now, during our last song"
"Oh no" Will shoulders slumped in disappointment for her "I guess you'll have to miss the dinner tonight, you won't be able to celebrate with everyone else"
He put his arm round her shoulders comfortingly.
"Do you definitley not feel well enough to go?"
The blonde paused to consider for a second before replying sadly with a soft
"I don't think so"
Will sighed, patting her back with a nod of understanding and turning to Santana.
"What should we do?"
It took great restraint not to push forward and pull Brittany into her arms, but Santana managed to walk over in a controlled way, an expression of appropriate concern masking the genuine worry she was feeling.
"Well one of us has to stay at the hotel"
"Yes, of course. We can't leave her."
Will rubbed a hand along his jaw thoughtfully and regarded the cheerleader.
"Brittany, do you think you're going to be sick?"
She nodded slowly
"I think so"
He turned back to Santana,
"We better sort this out quickly. I'm sure she doesn't want to throw up right here"
Santana nodded, nerves curling in her stomach as she sensed the inevitable conclusion of this conversation.
Taking a deep breath she decided to make it easy for Will and suggest the obvious solution.
"Well, clearly one of us has to stay with Brittany...and you can't do it because you organised this whole dinner, and you're the head of Glee club, the kids would want you to be there"
She swallowed nervously
"So, I'll stay"
Will looked troubled
"You don't mind?"
Santana shook her head, the movement making her feel a little dizzy.
"Of course not"
"I feel bad"
"No Will, it's fine"
He seemed to consider it for a second before nodding,
"Well, to be honest, it's probably the only solution anyway"
He turned back to look at Brittany, who seemed to flagging further by the minute.
"I think she might need to some help getting to bed..and well..."
He gestured to himself to highlight the obvious problem,
"..I'm not it would really be appropriate for me to do that"
Santana felt her cheeks getting hot as she nodded in agreement.
"No, I guess not"
He paused, thoughtful.
"So...how are you going to do this? Are you gonna take her back to your room so you can keep an eye on her?...Or are you going to help her to bed in her room, and then wait till we get back?..."
He stopped to consider the best course of action, turning to the brunette as an idea occured to him.
"Actually...do you think it might be easier if she just stayed in your room for the night?"
Santana's expression was unreadable. Her eyes flicked nervously to Brittany who seemed to be too busy not vomiting all over the floor to pay attention to the conversation. She took a breath before answering.
"...I suppose that makes sense"
Will noticed the hesitance in her voice and mistaking the reason, tried to reassure her.
"It's probably food poisioning, I doubt it's contagious"
"Yeah I'm sure you're right..."
"So..shall we do that then?"
Santana nodded,
"Yes, Ok...I'll take her up now, you need to go and meet the coach."
She reached forward to replace Will's arm around the girl's shoulder with her own and led her through the wings and out towards the double doors that opened on the hotel lobby. Will walked with them until they reached the elevator, patting Brittany gently on the shoulder with a sympathetic smile as the lift doors slid open.
"I really hope you feel better. It won't be the same without you"
The cheerleader smiled weakly back,
"Thanks"
He turned to Santana,
"Ring me if you need any help, and keep your phone on you so I can text later to make sure everything is ok"
She nodded,
"Everything will be fine, don't worry"
He put a hand on her arm, a grateful smile
"Thanks for this Santana"
She nodded, inhaling shakily with a tight smile
"Go have fun, you deserve it"
...
She pushed the door open and led the girl into the room, taking her over to the spare bed and sitting her down gently.
"Ok, I'm just going to go and get your stuff from the other room. I'll be a few minutes. Why don't you go get ready and then I'll bring your PJ's and you can get into bed? There's make up wipes and moisturiser in the bathroom..you can help yourself"
Brittany nodded, shivering slightly and got shakily to her feet to use the en suite as Santana slipped out of the room, walking swiftly down the corridor and knocking loudly on number 7.
After a few seconds it was opened by a smiling Mercedes, her expression faltering a little when she saw who it was. She stepped back to allow the teacher into the empty room.
"Oh, Ms. Lopez, I thought you were Brittany. I thought she'd have come back here to get ready but she must have gone to Quinn's room"
"Actually Brittany is in my room. She's not feeling very well so I think she's just going to stay here while you all go out."
Mercedes face fell,
"Oh no, really? She said wasn't feeling so good earlier but I thought it was just nerves. Is she alright?"
Santana nodded distractedly, her eyes searching the room for Brittany's bag so she could get back to her quickly.
"I'm sure she'll be fine Mercedes. I actually just came to get her stuff. She's staying in my room tonight so I can make sure she's ok, so I'll need pajamas and her toothbrush and- actually you may as well just give me her whole bag"
The girl nodded, still looking worried and crossed the room to the bed in the corner, reaching down the side of it and pulling a William McKinley Cheerios duffel bag back with her to hand to Santana.
"She hadn't unpacked her toothbrush or anything yet, it should all be in there"
Santana took it from her with a grateful smile,
"Thank you...oh, and well done for today, you were great"
"Thanks Ms. Lopez. It's a shame you and Brittany can't come to dinner with us"
Santana nodded in agreement, barely paying attention to the conversation in her haste to get back to Brittany.
"Well I hope you all have fun"
Santana walked out of the door, holding the surprisingly heavy bag to her chest and turning with a quick smile and 'good night' before heading back to her room.
The bathroom door was closed as she entered so she placed the bag at the foot of Brittany's bed and went over to stand in front of it, calling quietly to the girl inside.
"Brittany?...Are you ok?"
When no reply came, she knocked softly and spoke a little louder.
"Brittany?"
This time the answering silence sent a shiver of panic down her spine and she put her hand on the door, deciding to open it if the girl didn't answer again.
"Brittany?...Is everything alright?"
She waited 2 seconds before pushing down on the handle and swinging it open, her pulse racing as images of Brittany unconscious ran through her mind.
Sprawled on the floor in front of her sat the cheerleader, her head hanging over the toilet bowl as she was violently sick again, one hand propped against the wall for balance and the other trying unsuccessfully to pin her hair back from her mouth as it swung carelessly around her face.
Santana, feeling a wave of intense relief that the girl hadn't passed out or anything more serious, rushed forward to help, sweeping the blonde hair away from the path of vomit and into the safety of her hands. Suddenly noticing the gentle fingers brushing against her neck, Brittany turned with a gasp of surprise, recoiling backwards when she saw Santana.
"Oh my God...please...get out..you can't see this...please, I'm being sick...it's so...so disgusting"
She weakly tried to grasp her hair back, her fingers colliding ineffectively with Santana's before falling limply onto the seat as another wave of naseau overcame her and she threw up again, her protests lost. Santana tried to reassure her, her voice firm.
"Brittany, don't be so ridiculous, it's fine"
Santana pushed the fallen strands back into the ponytail she was securing with her hand and bent down, sitting to the side of the girl on the cold tile floor so she could hold her hair more comfortably.
"I don't mind at all...I want to help"
The sickness seemed to subside for a second and Brittany pleaded with her, her hands tugging at Santana's wrists to release her hair.
"No..please..just..I don't want...you don't have to..."
But the brunette just shook her head, taking Brittany's hand in her own and squeezing it gently.
"Brittany...I'm not leaving"
With a quiet sigh the blonde seemed to grudgingly accept that she didn't have a choice and she let her arm drop back down, resting her head wearily across it with her eyes closed, embarrassed, but too weak to protest further.
Santana watched her silently, her eyes soft as she stared at the faint frown etched into Brittany's face, her perfect lips pulled down slightly at the corners in discomfort. The girl was breathing quietly, shallow inhalations that lifted her chest a millimetre upwards, bringing it back down again as the soft whoosh of air was released. It was mesmerising, just to watch her rest, and Santana stared intently, her eyes studying each part of Brittany's face, searching for something, some kind of explanation, trying to work out what made her so captivating but eventually deciding that it wasn't something she could put words to.
Brittany was just, Brittany.
After what felt like long enough, Santana slowly got to her feet, gently pulling Brittany up with her. The girl's eyes fluttered open and she frowned sleepily.
"What are yo...why..where are.."
Santana shushed her gently and took her over to the sink where she helped her to brush her teeth, afterwards filling a paper cup and holding it to the blonde's mouth.
"Let's go and find your pajamas ok? Then you can go to sleep"
Brittany mumbled a reply as she sipped at the water, her eyes still half closed.
When she'd had enough, Santana pulled the blonde's arm over her shoulder and wrapped her's around the girl's waist, leading her carefully out into the bedroom. She took her over to the bed and lay her down over the duvet.
"Ok, let's get this off.."
She stopped.
Suddenly realising how difficult, and inappropriate, getting the girl out of her dress would be, Santana bent towards Brittany and asked quietly,
"Actually...do you want to just go to sleep in what you have on?"
Brittany forced her eyes open to look up at Santana standing over her and shook her head faintly.
"I need pajamas..dress is uncomfortable"
Santana took a deep breath before nodding and reaching for the duffel bag by the bed. She reached in and started pulling out clothes, finding a dress, a bra and a pair of socks before she managed to locate an old football jersey which she assumed was what she was looking for. She turned back to Brittany and held it up.
"This it?"
The blonde stared at the piece of clothing through half lidded eyes before nodding blearily and closing them again.
"Right, ok...well..."
Santana returned to the side of the bed and stood holding the jersey uncertainly in one hand, unsure of what to do next.
"Brittany..I...could you please help take your dress off?..."
The words rushed out, a blush spreading across her cheeks.
The cheerleader moaned, disoriented and desperate to just sleep, but she obliged, keeping her tired eyes closed but taking off the outfit herself. She reached a hand lazily up to the straps on her shoulders and dragged them off, pulling her arms through and then tugging the dress down over her chest and waist, kicking it off of her legs until she was covered only by her underwear.
Her skin was creamy and smooth, long, firm legs that seemed to go on forever and a flat, toned stomach that could have been an advertisement for the benefit of Coach Sylvester's extreme excercise regime. Every muscle on her body was defined, carved perfectly, beautifully. It was the body of an athlete, and Santana had to tear her eyes away as the dress was discarded on the floor, holding out the jersey with one hand whilst she kept her gaze on the floor.
"Can you get this on yourself or...?"
Brittany didn't reply, her hazy mind focusing instead on travelling her hands back up her stomach to take off her strapless bra, the fastening digging uncomfortably into her back. Turning back, Santana saw what she was doing and reached out hurriedly to stop her, eyes wide in panic.
"Brittany, wait...put this on first"
She bent forward to kneel beside the girl's bed and helped the nightshirt over her head, gently tugging her arms through the holes and then pulling the bunched material to her waist. Reaching underneath her, Santana pulled the cover down, nudging Brittany's legs to the side before tucking her in.
"..is that better?"
A mumbled reply which Santana took as a yes.
"Ok, well, I'll turn the light out now...I'm just going to get ready in the bathroom, and then i'll be in the bed just over there, so if you need anything..."
She let the sentence tail off, realising Brittany was probably drifting into sleep anyway and flicked the light switch to dim, gathering her pajamas from her bag and taking them into the en suite.
She got changed and brushed her teeth, carefully wiping off her make up and pulling her hair into a high ponytail before going back into the bedroom to turn the lights off completley. She made her way carefully over to her bed and climbed under the covers, retrieving her phone from her bag as she went.
She had a text from Will which she answered straight away, reassuring him that Brittany was ok and had just gone to sleep. She assured him that no, he didn't need to drop by the room later to check they were alright and signed off with a 'Goodnight, see you in the morning' hoping that would be enough to stop him keeping her up all night with worried texts. She set the alarm for 7.00 and then briefly scrolled through her emails, too tired to read them all properly but just making sure there was nothing urgent.
3rd from the top of the screen, an email address caught her eye and she clicked to check she had read it right.
Mark? Why was he emailing her?
She frowned at the screen.
The last time she had spoken to Mark was months ago, just before that nightmare of an interview with the mayor. He had called her constantly afterwards but she had ignored every attempt at contact, hurt and angry, believing him to have been partly at fault for what had happened.
With hindsight she had realised that it probably wasn't his fault, as even if he had been the one to tell the mayor certain things about herself that she would rather have kept a secret, he couldn't really be blamed for the way that information had been used. But she had never got around to returning his calls, still mortified over the whole thing.
And it had been over 6 months ago, did he still want to apologise? Is that why he was emailing her?
She clicked on the message, curious as to what he could possibly be contacting her about, and skimmed through the block of text with ever growing interest, a quiet gasp escaping her when she fully comprehended what it was about.
She scrolled back to the top of the email, hardly believing what was written there and read it through again, her eyes wide in the phone's reflected light.
"Oh my God.." she whispered, a delighted smile spreading over her face as she checked for a 3rd and a 4th time that it really said what she thought it said.
Lifting her head from the pillow she felt a sudden desire to wake up Brittany but she stopped herself straight away, of course she couldn't do that, it probably wouldn't be very interesting to the girl anyway, even if she didn't mind being woken up.
Stupid idea she told herself, placing the phone on the cabinet beside her and curling up comfortably under the sheets.
But still, as she settled back against her pillow, the feeling of apprehensive excitement settled warmly inside her and a happy smile played on her lips, carrying her peacefully into sleep as the words from Mark's email drifted hazily around her mind.
...
2.30am
4 hours later a quiet moan dragged her from sleep and she opened her eyes in confusion, before suddenly remembering where she was and sitting upright, whispering into the darkness.
"Brittany?..What's wrong?"
Another soft whimper was all she got in reply and she climbed out of bed, padding across the room to kneel by the girl's pillow. She reached out her hand and pressed it to Brittany's forehead, her heart rate relaxing a little once she was confident the cheerleader didn't have a fever.
"Brittany..are you awake?"
The blonde replied semi coherently, still half asleep, and Santana had to lean closer to hear.
"Was that a yes?...Are you ok?..Are you going to be sick again?"
Brittany forced her heavy eyes to open and was just able to make out her teacher's face in the darkness. She cleared her throat groggily.
"No..but my head hurts"
Santana stroked the hair gently back from Brittany's face, her fingers tangling in the messy blonde strands.
"Do you want some water?"
Brittany shook her head,
"I'm a bit cold.."
A light shiver ran through her as if to prove her statement.
"Do you have a jumper or anything? In your Cheerios bag?"
"...no"
"Me neither"
Santana paused to think, sleep still clouding her mind.
"I could see if I could find you a blanket or something?"
But Brittany shook her head again,
"It's the middle of the night..."
"Yeah but I'm sure there must be a laundry closet around"
Santana went to straighten up but Brittany reached out a hand, clasping it around her wrist to stop her from moving. In the dark, her eyes were pleading.
"Can't you just..sit with me for a bit?"
"...sit with you?"
Brittany edged herself closer to the wall, leaving a gap on the bed between them which she patted sleepily.
"Here...and then I'll be warmer"
The woman paused, suddenly nervous, and just for a minute it occurred to her that maybe Brittany might not possibly be as unaware as she was making out, but she dismissed the thought guiltily as soon as it entered her head. The girl had been throwing up all night, and now she was barely awake, she probably wasn't even thinking about how inappropriate this was. She was just cold.
So with a calming breath, Santana sat carefully on the edge of the bed, making sure she was on top of the sheets and trying not to flinch when Brittany moved closer. The girl's head came to rest next to her hip on the pillow, blonde hair tickling the exposed skin on her waist and she leant forward to whisper softly.
"I'll just stay until you fall asleep, ok?"
Brittany yawned and nodded, mumbling "Ok"
Santana leant her head on the wall behind her, folding one outstretched leg over the other and leaning forward to pull the material of her pajama shorts down as they rode up slightly over her tanned things.
"...Ms. Lopez?"
She looked down at Brittany in the dark, the blonde's words muffled slightly by the pillow she was laying on.
"Mh hmm?"
"I'm really sorry you had to stay...and that you had to help me when I was sick"
Santana smiled,
"That's ok...I'm glad I stayed"
Brittany frowned, turning onto her back and opening her bleary eyes to stare up at her teacher.
"Why?...You missed the meal and everything"
Santana shrugged,
"I don't care about the meal...I wanted to make sure you were ok"
There was a pause in which Brittany's sleepy mind considered the woman's words, before she sighed heavily and turned her face back to the side. Santana watched her, puzzled.
"What's wrong?"
"...nothing"
"Brittany..what's the matter?"
The blonde kept her eyes shut as she answered, her mind still dazed, half believing this to be a dream.
"You're so confusing"
Santana swallowed, knowing it was unwise to carry the conversation on but unable to stop herself asking,
"...what do you mean?"
"I just..I never know where I am with you...sometimes I feel like...you don't...Oh, I can't explain"
She sighed again, the sound heavy with unhappiness and Santana didn't know what to say. She wanted so badly to put her arms around the cheerleader, to lay down next to her and tell her how sorry she was, to press her lips gently against the blonde's and convince her that of course she cared, she'd always cared. But she couldnt, and it made her heart ache to think about how hard it was becoming to stop herself, so she folded her hands into her lap, lifting her eyes to the ceiling with a shaky breath.
There was a long silence before she said anything.
"...does your head still hurt?"
Brittany shook her head, before realising Santana probably couldn't see the movement and breathing a weary "No" in reply.
"Are you still cold?"
The girl shifted position slightly, her hand accidentally brushing Santana's waist.
"..a little..are you?"
Santana looked down at her, confused.
"Am I cold?"
"Well, you're sitting on top of the sheets..."
"Oh.."
Santana crossed her arms across her chest, her skin a little cold now she was out of her own bed but not uncomfortably so. If anything, the slight chill was helpful, keeping her drowsy mind alert as she waited for Brittany to fall back asleep.
"I'm ok"
The blonde yawned again and settled even closer to Santana's side, her forehead no more than an inch away from the strip of exposed olive skin between her teacher's tank top and pajama shorts.
Santana turned her head downwards to look at the girl laying so close to her, watching the gentle swell of her breathing and letting the silence surround her for what felt like a long time before speaking again.
She had so much she wanted to say to Brittany, so many things she needed to tell her but even with the crushing silence laid out before her, it felt like she would never get the chance to say it all.
She wanted to tell her how glad she was that she had been the one to look after her tonight, and how she wouldn't have been able to concentrate on anything else if she had known that Brittany was sick and she wasn't there.
She wanted to tell her how happy she had felt seeing her perform that day, how inexplicably proud she had felt watching her dance, like she was a part of the girl's phenomenal talent just through being there.
She wanted to tell her about the email she had read earlier that night, how scary and exciting the news was, how she was the first person she had wanted to share the news with.
She wanted to talk about New Years Eve and how spending the countdown with Brittany had been the best possible start she could ever have imagined for 2012, and how sorry she was for everything that had happened afterwards.
She wanted to tell Brittany how everything she'd said in the car had been a lie, but that she had to do it, that there had never been an alternative, not really, and how painful it felt to know that.
She wanted to tell her how no one had ever made her feel like this way before, so nervous and terrified and exhilaratingly happy all at the same time.
There were so many things.
And she couldn't tell her any of it, it was impossible, and to know that made her feel like something inside of her was breaking. Slowly twisting, vice like around her chest until just to look at Brittany hurt her.
But still, the peaceful quiet urged her on and she felt words form in her mouth, a revised version of everything she really wanted to say hovering on her lips.
She took a deep breath and whispered into the darkness.
"I wanted to say I'm sorry...for what happened the other week"
Silence.
Santana let out a soft sigh and closed her eyes, not wanting to look at Brittany as she said this.
"When you got out of the car...I didn't want you to get out...I wanted to tell you, I wanted to apologise for what I said...for the way it must have sounded to you...but you left and you were crying...and I just felt..."
She searched for the right word,
"I just felt so...guilty"
Guilty barely covered it, but she had to choose her words carefully.
"And things have been so awkward in class...I hate it...and..I just..."
She took a breath, trying to force the waver from her voice.
"I just wanted to apologise.."
Santana looked down at the blonde next to her whose rythmic breathing sent tiny flutters of warm air against her bare skin, and tried to decide if she was remaining silent out of anger or if she was just thinking of a reply.
"So..are we ok?"
She bent closer to the cheerleader to see her face in the dark, tilting her head to the side and whispering the girl's name to prompt an answer.
"Brittany...?"
She reached out a hand to brush blonde hair gently out of the girl's face and couldn't stop an adoring smile spreading over her lips when she saw the peaceful expression, eyes closed.
Brittany was asleep.
...
I do not believe how long this chapter turned out. Nearly 10,000 words? It's practically a novella all on its own.
I'm sure it's littered with mistakes but I get bored of proof reading, C'est la vie.
But I do really hope you like it because it has taken me forever to write and I made it especially long to make up for being so awful at updating regularly.
My internet is working again so hopefully the next update won't take as long, you may even get it next week you lucky old things.
Anyway, your reviews are beautiful and every time I get one I die of happiness so thank you very much, I really appreciate it.
girlscoutnaya . tumblr .com - If you want to follow this fic on tumblr go crazy, treat yourself, you can ask me stuff, or not if you don't want to. The ball is very much in your court.
Lots of British love,
x