5. I will bleed till the death of my soul
Surprisingly Arthur fell asleep almost the same moment he lowered his head on the pillow, although the insides of his head were a complete mess and chaos. It might've been because of the horrible exhaustion his body had suffered, but also because of Merlin's even calm breathing next to him that helped him to feel so serene and fall asleep almost immediately. He finally woke up when the sun rays were burning his face and blinding his vision, because no one had closed the curtains since Merlin wasn't obviously in any state of doing his normal chores.
Arthur turned on his back to escape the sun light which painfully meant a new day and seeing miserable Merlin again. The mere thought of that caused a deep sigh escape from his lips, but still he glanced over at his manservant who was still in deep sleep next to him. He was turned on his right side so Arthur could see his face that was bathing in the morning sun. There was no sign of the yesterday's sad conversation they had, no sign of hurt or agony. Actually he looked really beautiful with those long lashes, full lips and messy black hair, Arthur thought.
He couldn't stop staring at Merlin, even though he started to feel like a dirty stalker. He had to fight the urge to touch that beautiful face, Merlin looked so young and innocent that it almost hurt to look at him. He didn't have a shirt after Gaius had treated him and his exposed flesh was now there for Arthur to admire, the blanket above him had fallen lower and was only covering his lower body.
The bandage on Merlin's arm was bloody again, the wound wasn't obviously totally closed yet and Merlin was still losing blood. Arthur felt worry about Merlin and he felt like a mother hen who wanted to take care of her kids the best as possible. Merlin moved in his sleep and for a second Arthur was alarmed if he woke up now and would first see Arthur staring at him. But he didn't wake up, but turned on his back, so now his bare chest was teasing Arthur's eyes who had to inhale deeply.
Arthur had never thought he could be interested in a man, but Merlin was too pretty to not to admire. Jesus, that flat stomach, pink nipples and slightly hairy chest… How could you not be mesmerized about that? Not to talk about the bony shoulders, slender arms which clearly held some muscles in there also… Arthur's gaze was wondering everywhere on that body and stopped when reaching the line of Merlin's pants. They had dropped quite low and were exposing the flesh under Merlin's navel, just where there was some hair to be seen… For some reason Arthur felt his cock giving a twitch in his own pants and he was startled. Was he getting aroused, because of Merlin?
He was horrified. He had never thought he'd want another man that way, ever in his life. But here he was, staring at Merlin's gorgeous body cock itching in his pants. Finally he had to move his eyes from the body or soon he would be in trouble. He wouldn't want Merlin to wake up seeing him jerking off next to him… Because of him!
He took few deep breaths and lied on his back, trying to think something else. Like his rumbling stomach since he hadn't eaten since… long time! He decided to get up and go get some breakfast for the both of them.
Indian by Sturm Und Drang
youtu. be/gpX_FcgilP0
Maybe one day in a place without time, without space
I can look back and see that I am finally whole
Dying to undo the moment when all fell apart
Trying to fade out what's real is not for a life
One brief moment brought agony blackened my heart
No light for me, no way out, I'm next in line
Never ever, in this life I'll never find peace
Digging my own grave, I'm shot down in flames
You were my guardian angel, you saved me all times
But angels will fall burning, all candles have burned out
There is one way to escape but worse things will await
I'll let him take me, eternity will pay my price
One brief moment brought agony blackened my heart
No light for me, no way out, I'm next in line
Never ever, in this life I'll never find peace
Digging my own grave, I'm shot down in flames
Maybe one day in a place without time, without space
I can look back and see that I am finally whole
That's what I hoped but now I don't believe anymore
My wounds won't heal, I will bleed till the death of my soul
One brief moment brought agony blackened my heart
No light for me, no way out, I'm next in line
Never ever, in this life I'll never find peace
Digging my own grave, I'm shot down in flames