Chapter Three
I was already starting to feel like a volley ball, but that was my own doing. I just needed to stop promising to show up.
Inside the trees of Carlisle's coven's territory, I faced off with one of the wolves I'd encountered the night before. The reddish brown one. It didn't seem so happy. I had been assured that I was welcome here at any time, but the wolf was telling me otherwise.
"Move." I snapped, and it snapped right back, its teeth clenched. Making me jump back, briefly before returning to my original spot, "What the fuck is your problem? I haven't killed anybody yet." It snapped at me again, and I laid a decent punch to its face, "Fucker."
It snorted with a quiet whine, but got right back to snarling, perhaps more enthusiastically at me.
"Jake." I was thankful to hear Leandra approaching, "Leave her alone."
Jake? It had a name? And gender, apparently, but I wasn't particularly curious enough to look. That would be weird.
She came to a stop beside the wolf, and he turned his growling gaze to hers.
"She'll be fine." Leandra assured him, "I'll watch her."
"Yeah, mutt." I snapped, "Calm the fuck down." I went to pass him but he countered, continuing to stand in my way. Leandra sighed heavily.
"Jacob." She snapped this time, before I could, "Stop it." She took my arm, pulling me around him with her. Keeping herself between Jake and me.
"What the hell is his problem?" I muttered, glancing back at him. He was following us, trotting along behind us with a deep glare in his eyes.
"There is one more member of the family you haven't met yet." She replied, leading me through the trees, toward the house, "He's pretty protective of her."
"If I was gonna kill someone, I'd have done it by now." I pointed out, "I haven't done anything to anyone, but he's treating me like I'm plotting to burn your house down or something."
"I'll explain when we get there." She murmured.
I followed her slowly up the steps, only hesitating a few seconds before following her into the house. Before she could even close the door behind her, though, someone was pushing their way passed us. Further into the house with a deep glare my way, nearly knocking me over.
"What the fuck?" I muttered, deeply confused. His scent was the same scent of the wolf I'd just seen outside.
"That's Jacob." She sighed.
"He was a wolf not thirty seconds ago." I argued, "How the hell is he human?"
"That.." She replied, "I'll explain later." Long story, I assumed. It bothered me quite a bit, but I had no choice but to accept that. She'd explain later.
She closed the door, leading me further inside, "But for right now, I'll explain the other thing. About ten years ago, give or take a few months, we had one last run in with Jack. That was the last time any of us saw or heard from him. Darren.." She led me into the living room, "He decided it would be a good idea to kidnap someone he shouldn't have. I was just a newborn at the time, so I had no experience with this sort of thing, so.."
"He took you?"
"No." She shook her head, "Her."
I turned my gaze the direction she gestured, finding someone standing there that I, indeed, had not met yet. In just one look, I understood immediately why they knew so much about my kind, the human-vampire hybrid. She was like me.
The others were around, probably watching for my reaction.
I looked to her, and she looked to me. It was a little strange, meeting another hybrid. She was much older than me, physically around eighteen or nineteen, but that didn't mean it was any less weird.
I saw for myself what our scent told us about each other. Of course, I knew my own scent, but I didn't know it relayed just as much information about us as it did for the 'full-blooded' vampire. The scent was so much the same, but also very different from a normal vampire's.
I'd never met another like me before, so this was really the first time I understood how different I really was. Her brown eyes seemed friendly, but I was slightly intimidated by her. Mainly because she was new.
"Hi." She greeted with a smile.
"Alex, this is Renesmee." Leandra told me, "Ness for short. Bella and Edward's daughter."
"Biological?" I asked, looking over at Leandra. She could probably easily understand why I was so confused.
"Biological, yeah." She replied.
I looked to Ness, "How'd you not kill her?"
To my surprise, they found that funny. I was honestly confused. Back then, we ran on more instinct than anything, and to be born was probably an instinct to us. To be told that Bella was her biological mother confused me, because I didn't understand how she could have survived a birth like that, and live enough to be turned.
I didn't find the question funny. Not at all. I was being completely serious.
"Very carefully." Ness replied at my continued confusion, "My dad helped me be born safely."
"The most my dad did was kill my mom." I muttered, still surprised, "I didn't know it was possible."
"It's definitely possible, but not many people know that." Ness told me, "You do look like him."
"I do?" I asked, and she laughed.
"Especially your eyes." She added, "Not just the color, but the shape.
"You know my dad?" I asked, hoping she'd answer me this time.
"As I was saying." Leandra took my attention. "The last time we saw Jack, it was to get her back." She looked down.
"It wasn't a pleasant experience." Carlisle told me when Leandra hesitated, "Not for any of us, but least of all Leandra."
"And Jakie over there is worried I'm going to start trouble like my dad did that day?" I observed.
"The apple." Was all Jake said.
"I'm not like that, okay?" I snapped his direction, "Besides. I'm a tiny bit outnumbered, if you haven't noticed, so even if I wanted to do something, which I don't, I couldn't do shit."
"Relax, Jacob." Edward muttered, "She's telling the truth."
"Not that it matters much anyway." I continued, "I don't know how often I'm going to be able to keep coming back."
"Why not?" Leandra asked, actually sounding disappointed.
"Darren knows." I replied, shaking my head, "And I'm not trying to get any of you in trouble with them. He says because my dad left me there, I'm his responsibility, and he's not happy about me spending time here."
"That's hardly fair." Leandra grumbled.
"I told him to fuck off, but I doubt that's going to stick for very long." I explained further, "So if I don't come back, it's because I don't want to risk it again."
"How uncharacteristically considerate of you, badger." Emmett chuckled.
"Fuck you." I couldn't help laughing a little, "I'm pretty damn considerate, for your information. I might be mean, but I'm not out to destroy people."
"There's where you're different." Edward commented and I looked over.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"It's not like Jack to.." Leandra sighed, "Make anything." She gestured to me, "Normally, he kills things. Takes life." That certainly sounded like him.
"Tortures and torments people." Edward continued, "Not this. He doesn't raise anyone. He trains them." I knew what he meant, and I couldn't argue with him. I looked down.
I sighed, "Right."
Thoughts of my father still made me sad. Despite what Leandra told me about him, he was my father.
"I won't try apologizing for the things he's done." I finally replied, looking to Edward, "One, it probably wouldn't be enough. Two, apologizing for the things he's done would be like me taking responsibility for them, which is just stupid. I might look like him, but I'm not him. That's not who I am."
"Then who are you?" Emmett asked, and I looked to him.
"I'll be sure to let you know when I figure that out myself." I muttered. Even Jacob seemed a little more eased, his stance relaxing ever-so-slightly, but I eventually sighed again, "I better go."
"But you just got here." Leandra protested.
"In case you've forgotten, I'm pretty tired." I smirked a little.
"You're still welcome to stay." Carlisle told me, and I looked to him.
"But Darren-"
"Darren won't bother us." Alice spoke up, "He's hesitant."
"Why?" I frowned, "He's got twice as many in his coven."
"We've made quite a few friends, Alex." Leandra answered, "We're covered in that aspect." I didn't ask, but that made me curious. I debated.
"You'll be fine here." Alice added, "Come on."
"Here is way better than that old barn." Leandra commented.
I glanced to Jacob, and that made up my mind. I hated having to sleep at all, much less with someone around that wanted to kick my ass because of something my father did before I was even born.
"I cant help agreeing with you about how unfair that is." Edward muttered, and I looked to him. Surprised that his eyes were on me, "I assure you, you're safe here."
"Really." I laughed a little, shaking my head, "Thanks, but I'll be alright. I'll come back tonight after Seattle if you want, but I.. I'm not sure about staying here for longer than necessary." Leandra smiled sadly, probably understanding.
I, however, couldn't understand it. They seemed to actually want me to stay. As if they actually worried about me out here on my own. I understood that I was small, but I sure as shit wasn't helpless. I could easily handle my own.
I took my time getting back to the barn, despite the way the cold rain fell again and how the stack of sleeping bags were calling my name. I thought the entire way there. My mind locked on Ness, and her parents. She had both her parents. Something I'd never known.
Something about seeing them with her got me thinking. Struggling, forcing my mind back.
The second I reached them, I just fell on them and closed my eyes. Off in the distance, thunder rumbled, but I just ignored that. Swiping my soaking wet hair from my face, and rolling to my side.
Exhaustion stealing my consciousness within moments.
It wasn't often I dreamed while I slept. Most of the time, there was nothing to recall when I woke up, but this time, I did. It shouldn't have surprised me. Being so tired must have woken up another part of my mind. The part of my mind that made it possible to dream.
I dreamed about my father, and even my mother. A huge part of the memory I'd been unable to recall my entire life, and it chose that day to come forward. I recalled her voice perfectly in this dream. Even more perfectly than I thought I did when I was awake. It was so calming. It was quiet, soothing.
The exact opposite of my father.
But her words, the soft, light tone and the gentle way she spoke when she was alone, somehow made it easy to picture her face. The one glimpse of her face I'd gotten after being born. The one good look I'd gotten at her as my father scooped me up.
I remembered being born, suddenly with such clarity that it almost startled me. Something I'd struggled to remember my whole life.
I remembered being cold, and the way the new smells around me were very disorienting. My eyes had to adjust, but I could see her. The soft, warm place I'd just left, there she was.
She looked like she was sleeping. Silent, her eyes closed. Her lighter brown hair, though being very messy, framed her face in light waves. Even sleeping and covered in blood, she was beautiful. She would have been beautiful no matter what, because I knew she was my mother. I knew that.
I was cold, covered head to toe in her blood. What was instinct at the time, getting free, was surprisingly tiring for me. However, once I was out, and breathed my first breath, I was already confused. I tried to cuddle closer to her warmth, to move away from the place I once was the best I could.
I could hear everything. I could hear the man's breathing off to the side and the rain falling outside, but I couldn't hear my favorite sound in the world. I couldn't hear her heartbeat anymore.
I was confused, not understanding. I'd been so busy in my quest to get out, I hadn't noticed when I couldn't hear it anymore. I could smell her blood, so instinct made me bite the first open skin I could find, which happened to be her upper arm. I got maybe two good mouthfuls of her blood, before I was lifted.
I remembered being afraid of this man that picked me up. He stooped, pulling me away from her warmth and blood, wrapping me in an old blanket. I was irritated when he carried me away. I wanted to stay there with her. Not only was I not done feeding, but I wanted to see her, for once, from the outside. I had so many questions to ask her, but I didn't have the ability to ask them yet. So I did the only thing I could think of.
I cried.
I cried for her to hear me. The man carried me away from her, but I wanted to go back. I wanted to get back to her.
Outside, the rain fell on me, both confusing me into silence and irritating me even more. I didn't like it, its cold icy drops hitting my skin, stinging me. My skin so brand new was overly sensitive to everything, and he wasn't covering me right. The first time one drop landed directly on my nose, making me flinch, I growled.
"It's just you and me now, kid." I heard my father's voice for the first time from the outside over the sound of the loud thunder, and I looked to him. Really seeing him for the first time.
With me tucked in one arm, he pulled himself up the side and over the edge of a building, to rest on the roof.
He sat there, unwrapping me completely and laying me onto my back on the rooftop in front of him. The rain rinsing away the blood I was coated in. I remembered crying, because I hated this rain. Not only was it irritating, but it was so cold. It would take a few days for my brand new skin to acclimate to being out in the open and toughen up. He wasn't understanding that. I whimpered, hoping he'd understand soon that I was still soft.
He caught one of my legs in his hand and pulled it away from the other, looking me over. He sighed heavily, in what I now knew to be disappointment.
At the time, I didn't know what the hell he was doing, and didn't particularly care about anything but the fact that I could look at him. Without so many confusing things going on, I could finally look at him, and he looked at me. Holding his gaze, fascinated with the way I could see him clearly, despite flinching each time a raindrop would smack me in the face.
"You'll have to do." He told me, "I'm never doing that shit again." He inspected me. My toes, fingers, and face. Eventually pulling my upper lip up gently with his thumb, exposing my tiny teeth. Probably curious, and now, I couldn't blame him, but at the time, it annoyed me.
I squirmed a bit, turning my head away from his hand, giving a look around me before returning my gaze to his and huffing a little. My first few looks at my father told me everything I needed to know about him. He would be my protector. My mother wasn't there, but he would be there.
"It's just me and you." He repeated gently, my toes still in his hand and his grip light, "I promise. I won't fuck this up."
The rain picked up, and so did my whimpers.
"Hey." He finally seemed to notice how uncomfortable I was, "You're probably thirsty or something. Just.. Stay here for a minute."
He stood up, leaving me lying there, open in the rain. I couldn't even figure out how to roll over, much less go anywhere. The man, who I now recognized as my father, my protector, was gone. Within seconds of realizing that, I started to cry again. I didn't understand yet why he'd leave me.
Stuck in one spot, unable to really move and with no one to move me, I cried. I remembered how alone I felt in those few moments, and how scared I was at the thunder above me. I couldn't have been lying there for more than a couple of minutes, but to me, it felt like hours.
"Quit your squalling, kid." He'd come back, and I looked over at him, "I'm right here." I smiled for the first time, overjoyed at seeing him again. The large form he carried over his shoulder had a heartbeat. I could hear it from where I laid, and I wanted it. I didn't understand it at the time, but I wanted it.
Just as thunder clapped loudly in my dream, thunder around me startled me awake. I opened my eyes, pulled so suddenly from my dream. The rain dumped almost violently outside, and in the pitch dark around me, I realized I'd slept the entire day away.
I hated it, but stupidly, I started to cry where I laid. Not just a few tears, but really crying. Remembering what I remembered of my mother, I knew now she hadn't been sleeping. She was gone forever because of me. I missed her voice, how soothing it was.
And my father.
No matter what, he'd always come back. From the few moments after I was born, he'd always come back. What if he didn't come back to me this time? He'd promised me. He'd promised he wouldn't fuck it up, and he was so close to doing that. I might not have been as helpless as I was back then, but I still needed him.
At least now I remembered why I hated the rain.
However, remembering how thirsty I was in my dream, I needed to hunt. I stood up, and knowing the coven here didn't share the same hunting habits I did, I made a straight shot trip to Seattle. I wasn't looking for them, anyway. They hated my father, and I wanted someone who reminded me of him.
Soaked to the skin, I looked up at Darren from the yard. My earlier emotions still showing in the thin layer of tears in my eyes.
"There you are." He snapped, "Where the hell have you been?"
"Can you hunt with me?" I asked quietly over the sound of the rain, and his anger faded quickly, "Please?" I was hurting so badly, and I needed someone to come with me. I needed someone to be with me. I didn't want to be alone, and he was as close to my dad as I could get.
"Sure." He finally answered, "Yeah, I'll come hunting with you."
I hated showing him my emotion, but I couldn't help it. I couldn't hold back the single sob that escaped, my tears renewing briefly as I nodded.
Thankfully, he didn't mention my emotional state. He let me shake it off on my own, but he stayed with me the whole time. I took my usual one good sized human, but he needed two. While he had the first one, I caught a second for him. He didn't mind at all that I killed it first for discretion.
I followed him easily into the house this time when we got back.
"Thank you." I told him, and he gave me a nod, "Can I stay here tonight?"
"Of course." He replied simply, "I'd prefer you to. Upstairs, there's a bedroom all set up for you. Third door on your right." I didn't quite understand the concept of bedrooms, as I'd never had one, but if it meant I could be alone without being completely alone, I didn't mind it.
"Keep Conner on a leash, would you?" I asked, glancing to Conner across the room. He growled playfully at me, baring his teeth to make a point, and I had to laugh a little.
I found, in this room, a bed. I knew what it was, but it confused me. I'd never slept in a bed before, and I didn't think I'd like to get accustomed to that, so instead of settling anywhere near it, I sat beneath the window on the floor.
My dad. He was obviously a bad person, but so was I. I wasn't meant for selflessness or doing what was right for someone else. The only other person I needed was my dad. I'd follow him anywhere. It didn't matter to me. I didn't care what he did to someone else. I didn't care what kind of person he was, or how he'd treated Leandra, even if somewhere in my mind wondered if he was capable of doing that to me.
He was my father. The only one I considered to be on my side in the entire world. I needed him.
I actually hated sleeping there. The morons downstairs didn't know how to shut the fuck up, so each time somebody said something, I was awake. At least my dad knew to stay quiet while I was sleeping, unless it was something important.
Despite the way I'd already slept the day away, a good eight or nine hours of sleep, I was still worn out come morning. I was learning new things about myself as well, it seemed. After about a week with shitty sleep, I needed to catch up, apparently.
"You fuckers are loud." I growled on my way toward the door.
"Alex." Darren called, but I already knew what was coming, "Alex, stop. Why don't you stay here today?"
"And why don't you mind your own fucking business?" I grumbled in return.
"Please." He followed me outside, "I don't want to use any of my gifts on you. Don't make me." I paused, finally turning around.
"Was that a threat?" I growled.
"I'm tired of this." He replied, "I'm not risking it anymore. Stay, and I won't."
"Back off, and I won't use mine." I snapped, "Believe me. I don't want to."
"I know you don't." He started down the steps, "Your own gift scares you, but I can help you with it."
"It's pretty self-explanatory, thanks." I growled as he came to my side, "Don't fucking threaten me, Darren."
"Look." He sighed, his tone easy, "You don't belong there. I thought sure by now you'd have realized this on your own, but you're not meant to be around someone like them."
"Only someone like you, right?" I scoffed, "Get real."
"You came to me." He reminded me, and I looked down, "Yesterday, you came here. That means you're not comfortable with them. You were raised differently. Don't ruin their lives, Alex."
I was suddenly reminded of my discussion with Leandra the night before. Her selflessness. I was raised to be selfish, never understanding what it meant to be selfless.
When I didn't say anything, he knew he had an open to keep talking, "Let them live their lives, and stay here. Where you can live yours. Just wait it out. Your father will be back soon. I know it, and when he returns, I won't say a word about all of this."
I sighed, glancing back up at him.
"Come on." He murmured, urging me back toward the house before I even really had a chance to think about it. If he'd been smart, he'd have waited. Instead, he rushed the issue.
"You're right." I muttered, and he looked to me, "I was raised differently. I was raised to think for myself, and I was raised not to take any bullshit." And I fully recognized that that was exactly what he was trying to give me.
In one swift move, I balled my fist and slammed it into the center of his face. He stumbled back, and I was gone before he had a chance to recover. I heard his growl behind me, but was too far to hear anything else.
I half wondered if he'd follow me this time, but I suddenly didn't care. I wasn't going straight to Carlisle's coven anyway. I decided to go check on my sleeping bags, since I left the barn without putting them away. I returned to them, to find the stupid cat lounging on them, purring contentedly.
It darted away right when I was about to kill it, and I decided not to chase it. Just this once. If it tried that shit again, I would. I sighed, rolling them up. These were mine.
I knew full well that what happened that morning wasn't over, but he was almost insuring that I refused to go back to him. By pushing the issue, he was pushing me.
And I didn't deal well with being pushed.
Maybe he would learn that, but I doubted it. The more I went back, the more he seemed to get edgier. More desperate. I dreaded the moment I found out what Darren's gift was, but I'd put it off as long as I could. Just as much as I'd put off having to use mine. My gift would solve any issue I had with Darren instantly, but I hated it.
"I thought I'd find you here." I turned at Leandra's quiet voice in the doorway just as I was putting the third sleeping bag in the box. I wanted to tell her that she didn't want to be here, that I was pretty risky to be around.
"Sorry." I sighed instead, "Rough night."
"Understandable." She replied, nodding a little.
"I spent the night at Darren's place." I told her.
"I know." She murmured, "You okay?" She honestly seemed concerned. Probably seeing how tensed up I was.
"Not really." I grumbled, closing the lid of the box. She stayed quiet as I sighed, and stood there. Probably waiting for me to tell her what was wrong. I didn't know what to say. I wanted to tell her to just forget about me, but there was one thing I had to tell her first.
"You don't understand." I finally muttered, "I know. I get that he was a complete asshole to you. I get that part, but it's.. He's different. That's not him."
"Not yet." She murmured.
"You don't know what he means to me." I continued, "You don't know my side of things. You don't know the person I've seen in my dad."
"He's all you've had." She replied, "I know. That leaves its mark on someone."
"You have no idea." I reasoned, "Leandra, he's my dad. My protection. As a newborn, that means more than you can ever imagine." Her soft expression softened even more. She wasn't guarded, and I knew she understood.
"Where is he, Leandra?" I finally showed just a hint of emotion. My sadness came through in one, maybe two broken words, and I couldn't help it.
She sighed, "I don't know, Alex. I really don't."
"Then let's go." I said, "Let's go look for him. You said you'd help me, right? Then let's do it. Just you and me." She hesitated, not saying anything at first. I waited.
"Do you know how difficult that would be?" She finally asked, "He could be anywhere, and by now, the one place his scent could have been, would be too faded to follow it anywhere."
"Well, I'm going to try." I muttered, "With or without you, I'm going there."
"Alex, wait." She called, following me from the barn, "Maybe Darren is right." I stopped walking, looking back at her, "He left you here for a reason. Come back to the house with me. You don't have to be alone."
I was heavily tempted. I knew it'd be stupid to run off anyway, but I couldn't help wanting to. I wanted to find him.
"Give him some time." She urged, "Maybe he left on his own to give himself some time. To calm down, and just space himself from you. I'm sure he'll be back."
After a few more seconds of debating, I nodded.
"Yeah." I mumbled, "You're probably right." I took a breath, nodding again.
"So come on." She added, "Come back to the house with me."
I reluctantly agreed, following her straight into the house this time. Once again, they were all in one room. This gigantic house, and they were all in one room. Emmett and Jasper looked to be in the middle of some card game, which caught my attention for a moment. Texas Hold'Em, by the look of it.
"There she is." Mikah chuckled, his eyes on me.
"Here I am." I replied quietly, "Were you all worried I was dead, or what?"
"No." He answered, "Not exactly. Leandra got a little edgy last night when you didn't come back."
"I had to hunt." I admitted, distractedly watching Emmett and Jasper's card game, "So I took Darren with me." I hesitated a moment. From where I stood, I could see Emmett's cards, "You'd be crazy not to bet that."
He looked over at me, smirking, "You wanna play?"
"Oh boy." Jasper muttered.
"Fuck it." I laughed a little, "Sure." I needed a good distraction, and this seemed to be a good way to achieve that.
It was obvious neither of them expected me to be as good at this game as I was. It wasn't going very well for a too-confident Emmett. All afternoon, I kept taking his money. Jasper was at least smart.
"Emmett," I sighed, "Pay attention." Behind me, Leandra started laughing, "You don't keep going when there's a blatant flush up there, with no chance for a straight."
Jasper, who'd folded long ago, chuckled as well.
"If you'd have had it, you'd have bet it." I continued, "No doubt raising the bet ridiculously. What's it gonna be?" I asked, one corner of my mouth turning up in a smirk. He narrowed his eyes, staring me down until he sighed and laid his cards face down on the table. Signifying he'd folded, or bowed out of the hand.
I laughed a little in triumph, stacking my cards with a grin, "By the way, I didn't have shit." He groaned.
"Where the hell did you learn to play?" He asked, amazed.
"What do you think my main source of entertainment was my entire life?" I asked in return, "Besides hunting and training, this was pretty much the only thing left." I kneeled up, shuffling the cards, "I like to think I do pretty well."
"I've never known anyone to beat Emmett the way you do." Mikah chuckled behind me, and I glanced to him, "And I'm pretty positive he cheats."
"If he was cheating," I replied, "I'd know it. He wasn't cheating. I know all the tricks. Jasper does, however."
"What?" Leandra gasped, laughing, "Bad Jasper."
"I do not." He argued, but given the way he chuckled, I knew I was right.
"Well, not so much cheating, I guess. Anybody could do it. You look for 'probable advantages'. The odds that the card you want will show up when you need it, and if those odds are not in your favor, you fold." I explained, setting the freshly shuffled deck on the table, "If you stay in, I know to be on my toes. One of your best games would be Blackjack."
"Unbeatable." Emmett grumbled, and I smirked.
"That would be why." I laughed a little, standing up, "Thanks, guys." I smirked again.
I took my winnings, which consisted of over five hundred dollars, and turned. Handing the stack of cash to Leandra, "Here. Buy yourself a pony."
She laughed, trying to hand it back to me, "You keep it."
"What do I need money for?" I asked, "I take whatever clothes I need. I don't eat food, and I'm not allergic to sleeping outside. I'm good."
"I'll put it aside for you." She smirked, "You'll probably need it more than I do one day."
I shrugged, "Whatever floats your boat." Meaning, I was telling her to do what she wanted with it. I was flat broke, and always had been. I didn't want money. I just wanted to take it from Emmett, and I had fun doing it.
I frowned a little as a brand new scent hit my nose. I'd gotten a hint of this scent before, but it never smelled like this before. Never this concentrated, and it never had this effect on me.
Food.
"Come on." Leandra noticed my curiosity, leading me toward the kitchen. I followed her up to the counter, curious at what Esme was cooking. It interested me. Esme noticed me, smiling sheepishly.
"I've been wanting to try this for awhile now." Esme admitted, laughing a little.
"It smells good." I offered, but I was a bit nervous. I'd never had food before, "But it doesn't smell anything like any of the restaurants I've passed."
"Her cooking is way better than any stupid restaurant." Leandra replied, and I glanced to her.
I looked down at the plate Esme eventually placed in front of me.
"What.. The hell is that?"
She laughed a little, "It's food, honey. Try it." No shit it was food, but it was interesting. I decided to bite back my sarcasm. Esme seemed too nice of a person to be short with.
"Uh.." I muttered, peering closer at it. It didn't smell bad, but it confused me. I hesitantly reached up, picking up the fork and sniffed whatever was on it. I spent a few minutes just inspecting it.
"Do I.." I finally murmured, "How do I.. Do I just.. Bite it?"
"Yes." She replied with a smile, "Give it a try."
I nibbled a little piece off, letting it sit in my mouth for a second. Trying to decide whether I liked the taste or not. It was definitely new. I hesitantly swallowed the small nibble I'd taken, and when it settled fine, I blinked in surprise. I took two more nibbles before I let Esme know what I thought.
"It's good." I smiled a little, letting out a laugh, "I've never done this before."
"You've never had the choice?" Leandra asked, and I shook my head.
"I probably still won't." I muttered around another, full bite. I had to admit. I liked it. It felt odd at first, but the more I ate, the easier it got.
I knew Esme appreciated the way I finished the whole plate, but I couldn't help it. It tasted good. I also had to admit, it tasted much better than blood. I couldn't believe I'd gone four years without trying food. It seemed surprising to me now as well.
She offered more, and of course, I had to nod.
"We're corrupting her." Emmett chuckled from behind me as I sat down this time. I glanced to him, and couldn't help finding the humor in that as well.
I was far less hesitant to start eating this time. I didn't care much for plain water, but the flavored water I liked. It was sweet.
Of course, I'd never tell my dad I liked food. I'd just have to sneak it whenever I could. Though I wasn't sure when I'd get the chance to when he came back. We were always together.
I frowned about halfway through the second plate, confused.
"What's wrong?" Leandra asked. I wasn't even sure.
"My stomach feels funny." That was the best way I could describe it. It wasn't exactly uncomfortable. Just odd.
"Either she's full, or she needs the bathroom." Emmett chuckled again.
"Full?" I asked.
"Meaning, your stomach is full." Leandra explained, "And you shouldn't eat anymore. It's a whole lot different than drinking blood."
"That must be it." I muttered. She poked my stomach, and I laughed at how it tickled a little.
"Yup." She laughed, "You're full."
The good mood suddenly dissipated as I heard urgent movement in the living room. I recognized the tense urgency as an announcement of an unwanted visitor. I stood up, following Leandra closely. I couldn't help hoping it was my dad, but Leandra probably would have said something.
Peering out the window, I saw who it was instantly, and glared.
Darren.
I forced my way to the front, passed Carlisle and passed Esme. Straight outside. I had a feeling before that something like this would happen, but for a short time, I was able to forget about it. For just a moment, and I was pissed now that he ruined that for me.
"What the fuck do you want?" I snapped, descending the steps before anybody else. I didn't want them to get into trouble because of me.
"I warned you." He replied evenly, "I really did."
He wasn't here alone. Roughly half his coven, about twelve or thirteen had followed along. If I wasn't careful, this could get bad. Quick.
"Do you really need that many with you?" I muttered, "All of them, just for me? I'm flattered."
"You're not alone." He pointed out, "I'm not about to risk it."
"This isn't their doing, so why would you be risking anything?" I countered, crossing my arms. Letting him know that this had nothing to do with Carlisle's coven.
"Harboring a run-away." He reasoned with a shrug.
"Right." I snorted, "Because there isn't a single reason I shouldn't stay there with you." I rolled my eyes, "I told you, Darren. I don't like being threatened."
"I didn't threaten you. I gave you a choice, Alex." Darren called, "Many chances to make the right choice. Now, you don't get that choice."
"Fuck off." I snapped in return. He sighed and turned, looking toward Conner and Hayden. He had to be joking. I gave Darren a flat look, silently asking him if that was a smart move.
Before I could really react, Conner was there, almost eagerly stepping forward and tried to grab a hold of me. I managed a well placed, pretty decent kick to the middle of his stomach and he literally flew back several feet. Hitting a tree, denting the bark, and causing the whole thing to shudder violently.
Hayden tried as well before I could even realize how well I'd kicked Conner, and Hayden got a face full of dirt and gravel, with my foot on the back of his head. Both of them relatively unharmed, but with a pretty massively bruised ego. I could almost hear the delicate sound of their egos cracking, and it pleased me.
"Goddammit." Darren growled, "What did I say? Don't engage her individually. Together, you incompetent bastards."
I had to focus now. More moved for me. I kicked another back, dodging a second at the same time. Barely.
I growled, yanking my arm from another's grip, just in time for my punching arm to get taken as well. I flipped him off of me, straight into the first as he recovered. Taking several steps away from where Leandra and her coven were gathered, leading them and taking their focus onto me.
In the briefest of moments, I paused to look at Leandra.
"I'm sorry." I murmured quietly, and despite the way I knew she wanted to, she couldn't help me. Not with her coven wanting to avoid a fight. I didn't want to be the reason they finally ended the tense truce with Darren's coven.
I spun away from three as they reached my side, ducking and rolling away, but unfortunately, right into two more. I brought one down, but I couldn't escape the other.
In one more split second, I was roughly restrained by two much bigger than myself. Each one holding an arm easily, and dragging me towards Darren.
He reached out and took a rough hold of the back of my neck, and I growled in pain briefly. I hated it when my dad would grab me like this, and I hated it even more when Darren did so.
"I don't want a problem, Carlisle." Darren growled his direction, "I know her presence here isn't your fault, so I'll let it slide, but she isn't yours. Keep that in mind."
"I'm not yours, either." I growled, still tense under the pain of his hand.
"Wrong."
He pointed his finger in my face, so naturally, I bit him. Catching a good hold of his hand between his pointer finger and thumb. He shouted in pain, shaking me a little. I held on until he released my neck, and I released his hand. Jumping away from him with a growl and glare his way.
"You're my responsibility." He rubbed the spot I bit him.
"Then you fucking failed." I snapped in return, "My dad's gonna-"
"He'll be grateful." Darren finished for me, "Your father will appreciate all I'm doing for him." He took a step toward me, and I countered, taking a step back, "Don't make me have to-"
"Have to what?" I growled.
"I have quite a number of incapacitating gifts." He replied, "I don't want to use them on you. Just come quietly-"
"I don't 'come quietly'. I don't." I hissed, "I go where I want to go, when I want to go there."
"Alex, he's right." Leandra offered from the side, and both Darren and I looked her direction, "Don't push him. Please be careful."
"I'm not afraid of this fuckwad." I growled, looking back to Darren, "If he wants to incapacitate me, then he's gonna have to, because I'll rip his head off before I 'come quietly'." His eyes narrowed, a quiet growl leaving him, "And by the way, Darren, this isn't me choosing a side. This is me developing a pretty decent hatred for you."
"Do whatever makes you feel better, darling." Darren replied tightly, "Just remember that you're forcing me to do this."
"Forcing you to be a complete fucking dick, with a pretty pathetic inferiority complex?" I asked, "No, you do that all on your own." I didn't look back at Emmett's stifled chuckle. Darren's eyes narrowed again.
"Watch it, kid."
"Watch what?" I asked, taking a single step closer, "Is it my fault you spend your entire life sucking up to my dad? Kissing his ass, just to stay on his good side? No. That's not my fault. That's your problem, but you're treating me like it is my problem. Get over it." He growled, "And I'm not some damn darling."
He took a single step toward me, but Conner came to his side right then, probably keeping me from having to put poor Darren through a wall. In pieces.
"Darren," Conner spoke up, studying me, "Wait. Come on."
"You shut up." Darren growled to him.
"She's not hurting anyone, and she's staying in the area." Conner argued again, "Who cares what coven she spends time with?"
"Her father does." Darren replied incredulously, "Why else would he leave her with me?"
"Uh, because his coven is too rough for her?" Conner replied, "Just let her do what she wants. That way, it'll be her the heat lands on. You did all you could without physically restraining her."
"This is true." He reluctantly muttered.
"If Jack wants to get pissed, let him get pissed at her." Conner replied, "Because you know if you physically restrain her, or use any kind of gift on her and he finds out, it'll be you he'll be pissed at, and I personally don't want to reside on his shit list."
"Another good point." Darren didn't seem happy, but Conner was very persuasive.
"I'll deal with him." I argued, "If that's what it takes for you to calm the fuck down, I'll tell him I completely disregarded anything you had to say. Because it's the truth. I make my own choices, Darren, and I don't like having them taken away."
"You're spoiled." He pointed at me again, and I growled, "But fine. If that's the way you want it, you got it. Just keep in mind whose lives you're damning if he catches you here." He glanced to Carlisle, before looking to me again, "I'm warning you, kid. He's not going to-"
"He's not going to care when I tell him who treated me better."
That shut him up.
"He's not going to care when I tell him who respected my wishes, and didn't treat me like some prisoner, or some project." I continued, and he glared, "Go fuck yourself, Darren."
I didn't ease up until he turned, leading the rest away.
"That was too close." I finally muttered, watching the direction he'd gone. I looked back at them, "I'll leave, if you want me to. I'd totally get it."
"Of course not." Esme replied, surprised, "You don't have to go anywhere."
I blinked in surprise, "You do know that he could come back, right?"
"We're fully aware of that fact." Carlisle replied, "But you don't deserve to be asked to leave due to his actions."
"I don't?" I frowned, confused.
"No, you don't." Carlisle answered, "You're not responsible for the things he chooses to do, Alex."
"And that was pretty awesome, badger." Emmett pointed out, "You weren't scared at all."
"Of those dumbasses?" I scoffed, "I was trained by my dad, and I've been wanting to kick Conner for awhile. Just for being obnoxious."
"Have I mentioned that I like her?" Emmett asked, looking to Esme.
"At least Jack did one thing right by you." Jasper allowed, "You certainly know what you're doing."
"And you doubted me?" I smirked. My smirk faded a little, "I am sorry, though. I should have said something about the argument I had with him this morning."
"Come on." Leandra told me, gesturing me forward, "Don't even worry about that. Let's go back inside." I glanced behind me, seeing and smelling that Darren was long gone, before taking her advice. Nobody seemed to mind.
But it wasn't long later I decided I needed to get back to the barn, however. The usual insistence that I stay started, but sadly, I just shook my head.
Despite the activity of the afternoon, I was still going through my own thing. I knew they wouldn't understand. Least of all, Leandra. The one he'd wronged the most. I was far from ashamed to admit that I missed him, but I wouldn't push that knowledge on her.
The cold had never really bothered me, as my temperature was naturally pretty high, but somehow, the cold seemed emptier now. I hated my father, but I felt lost without him. It was stupid, beyond idiotic to feel that way, but I couldn't help it.
It was significantly colder that night, light flakes of the season's first snowfall started down just as I was reaching the barn. I dragged out the three sleeping bags with little daylight left, and tossed them up to the loft before I followed them.
It was hard to accept how I felt as I laid back down that night. A soft, quiet and snowy breeze blew through the holes in the roof. Mercifully missing me.
I was lonely.
Two, huge covens practically begging me, or trying to force me to stay with them, and I was lonely. I had options. I knew I had options for company, but I would never let myself. I was born and raised a wanderer, and I knew I'd always stay that way. With or without my father.
I'd eventually learn how to exist on my own. I'd learn how to accept my own company as enough. I'd learn how to protect myself, and I'd grow up. I'd get much stronger than I was.
It was stupid to lay around, feeling abandoned just because the one that raised me decided he didn't want me anymore.
Laying on my back, I clenched my hands in my shirt over my stomach, biting my lip in an attempt to hold back my cries. As if holding tight enough would stop the emotions in their tracks. As if holding them back would be enough to solve them.
Damn him!
Didn't he know what him leaving would do to me? Did he even give a shit? I didn't care anymore that he hit me. He could hit me all he wanted, as long as he was here to hit me. To hit me, but protect me at night. To hunt with me. I still had so much to learn. He still had more to teach me.
I'd never had to feel a broken heart before, but here it was. Here it was, and I didn't like it. It hurt quite a bit.
I sobbed into the darkness, the sound quiet next to the breeze that came through the roof. Warm tears sliding down the sides of my face, pooling in my hair under my head. I reached up, covering my face as two more sobs escaped, and I couldn't hold the rest back.
"You try so hard to be strong." I jumped a little, not expecting Leandra's sad voice in the doorway. For the first time, I was startled. I bolted upright, looking her way, "But you don't have to be alone tonight."
"Stop following me!" I snapped, harsher than I meant to, "Go away!" I was hurting, and I overcompensated. Protecting myself the only way I knew how, and that was to be mean. Hating the one trying to interrupt my pain.
"If you want me to leave, I won't argue with you." She replied, unphased, "But we're not leaving the area." That stumped me, and I took a careful, sniffling sniff in. Sure enough, the barn was surrounded. Her coven had followed me. Posting themselves around the building.
Confused, I looked to her again, "I remember you saying something about how Jack would always watch over you while you slept. I figured that might be why you haven't gotten very easy sleep, so thought we could help you there. You're not comfortable staying there with us, so we came to you."
"Why?" I found myself asking, unable to fully hide the emotion in my voice, "Why do you want to help me at all? Why are you trying so hard? You should hate me. You should hate who I am."
"I don't hate anyone." Leandra replied, making her way up to the loft, "It's a waste of time, and it only makes you feel bad about yourself." She sighed, sitting beside me, "This is what we do, Alex. We help others. We help whoever we can."
"But me?"
"Yes, you." She replied, "I know this is probably hard to believe, but you're not damned because of who your father is. I said the same thing about Hunter." I didn't know what to say to that, so I told her that.
"I don't know what you want me to say." I muttered quietly, "I don't know what to say."
"You don't have to say anything." She shook her head, "Just go to sleep. We'll be around."
I studied her expression for a moment, until I sighed. I could feel how my emotions had eased just by them showing up, and though it confused me, I wasn't asking questions. My emotions had calmed. Despite the way a few left over tears trailed from my eyes, I wasn't hurting near as much as I was before. I felt safer. Comforted, oddly enough.
So I took her advice. Laying back down, curling up on my side, and letting my eyes close.
As I found out, aside from a few unintelligible conversations outside once in awhile, they knew how to shut the fuck up and let a person sleep. I wasn't sure how long I'd been asleep when I finally did wake up to Alice visiting Leandra, only steps from me.
Even feet from me, I couldn't hear what they were talking about. They spoke so quietly. Whatever it was, Leandra wasn't happy about it. I noticed it was well passed dawn, probably closer to mid morning as I opened my eyes, looking up at them.
Alice noticed me, smiling a little, which gained Leandra's attention as well. She turned, looking down at me.
"Sorry." She told me, "Did we wake you up?"
"Only a little." I muttered, sitting up, "But trust me, you're far more considerate than those morons in Seattle."
"We've had lots of practice with letting people sleep." Alice laughed a little.
"So what's pissing you off?" I asked, looking to Leandra.
"Nothing." She muttered, shaking her head, "Don't worry about it."
I shrugged, "Whatever." I stood up with a sigh, "I'm not gonna beg you to tell me." I turned, and got started rolling up the sleeping bags. I knew they watched me, so I offered an explanation, "Some stupid cat in the area likes to lay on these. So I have to put them away during the day." I frowned, pausing in thought, "Hey, you hunt animals, right?"
That got both of them laughing, shaking their heads.
"Wrong kind of animal." Leandra laughed, "But maybe Emmett will help you out."
"After I beat his ass at poker yesterday? I doubt it." I tossed the first sleeping bag into the box below.
Once I was finished putting the other two away, I sighed. Looking to Leandra, "Thanks. For.. Staying last night. You really didn't have to."
"It was no problem." She assured me with a laugh.
"Really." Alice agreed, "It actually felt nice to be needed."
"Maybe not needed.." I muttered, embarrassed, "I mean, I can survive without someone there."
"Of course." She agreed instantly, "I just meant that it was nice to be useful." I allowed that. I nodded a little, looking down.
"Can we go back now?" Emmett called from outside, "There's a game on."
"Game?" I frowned.
"You've heard of poker," He stepped inside the barn, "But not football? Badger, you've got a lot to learn." Confused, I looked to Leandra.
"Come on." She laughed, and I hesitantly followed her outside.
A/N: I'm convinced this chapter is as good as it'll get. I'm hoping (hoping) that we'll start slowing down. This back and forth is making me dizzy.
A huge, cookie-coated THANK YOU to those that reviewed last chapter! THANK YOU! :D It really helped me more than you know.
Chapter four may take some time. Lots of stress these days, and quite a few RL issues to sort through, but I'll be working on it. I promise.
Until Four, my friends! :D