Chapter Six
"Run, deer!"
"Dammit!" I was pissing Emmett off. This was the third time I'd scared the herd off, and despite the way they could easily catch them, it was still irritating.
"Be free!" I laughed as Emmett chased me for a few steps until I scurried up a tree. Tearing the bark away in my haste. I felt like a squirrel, but it served the same purpose.
"Go find Esme." He told me. Why would I ever want to do that?
"No." I called down at him, "It's more fun with you."
"I'll show you fun." He chuckled, climbing up the tree after me.
"Shit." I laughed, jumping down. I heard the sound of him landing, and coming after me. Yelping, I pushed faster. I couldn't help it.
"Stop playing around." Jasper wasn't pleased, so naturally, we circled him. I kept him standing between Emmett and myself. He sighed, irritated, "Can we just get this done?"
Emmett didn't give up, though. I took off, and he followed.
During the hunt that night, I needed to unwind. I highly doubted they'd offer to take me along again after this, but I'd been too tense for too long, and found the best way to let off some steam, was by annoying others. I'd always been that way, and I was pretty sure they knew it was all in fun. I knew Emmett knew that, at least, given the chase he was giving me.
I caught up to the herd of deer I'd just chased off, picked one up, and launched it back at him in one smooth move. The look on his face as it slammed him in the face, knocking him off his feet with a grunt from the unfortunate animal before he was ready to catch it had me falling to the dirt, literally rolling with laughter.
I couldn't get up to keep running if I tried. I was incapacitated. Tears of laughter welled in my eyes, threatening to fall with every blink as he climbed back to his feet. Picking up the struggling deer with one hand and came back over to me.
"Did you lose something?" He asked, laughing at my laughter, "Did you seriously just throw this at me?"
"I couldn't help it." I choked out through quick, hysterically laughing breaths, "It just sort of happened."
"Well," He mused, "Because you threw it, you have to eat it."
"Oh, hell no." I forced myself to my feet, despite the way I was still laughing, "You can keep it."
"Just try it." He said, holding it up to me by its neck, "It's the rules."
"I don't follow the ru-" He cut me off by whacking me upside the head with the deer. I fell over with the force of it, surprised as I looked up at him. He started cracking up as well, so I forced myself up again, "Oh, it's on now. Oh, you'll be sorry."
"Arm yourself." He accepted my challenge, pointing the deer's face at me. I narrowed my eyes, knowing exactly what he meant.
Just minutes later, we were discovered. Whacking each other with dead deer bodies like two children having a pillow fight. I just got a good hit in when we both froze, looking to Jasper. The expression he wore was both horrified, and deeply confused.
"What in the hell are you two doing?" He frowned.
"Arm yourself." Both Emmett and I pointed our deer's heads his direction. The incredulous look on his face had me struggling to hold back my laughter again. He looked like he wanted to keep asking, even opening and closing his mouth a few times in a speechless manner, but eventually just held up his hands and turned. Walking away.
"Surrender!" I called, "Or suffer the ruthless wrath of my deer-fighting skills, Jasper!" He shook his head, continuing on. I narrowed my eyes, sneaking after him as silently as I could.
I jumped at the opportunity to club him over the head with my deer's body, knocking him over.
Not as amused as I seemed to be, he stole the deer from my hands and threw it. Not even caring what direction he threw it, and managed to slam Emmett in the face with it. I watched Emmett drop his own deer to catch that one, before he glared.
"Food fight!" He called, and launched it back.
I caught it, "Jasper's on my team!"
He growled, standing back up, "I'm not on a-"
"If he was on any team, he'd be on my team." Emmett corrected, "You can have Shorty on your team." I looked over as Leandra found us, squinting in disbelief. Her expression mirrored the expression Jasper wore the moment he first found us.
"You can have Leandra." I countered, "I want Jasper."
"What the fuck?" Leandra asked, obviously really lost.
"Jasper's on my team." I replied, as if that explained everything.
"I'm not playing." He shook his head, and turned again, "You sort them out, Leandra." We both watched after him. Before he could get two steps away, Leandra caught a flying deer to the side of her head.
"Cheater!" I gasped, launching my own back his direction, "Taking out my team-mate?"
"Emmett, when will you ever grow the fuck up?" Leandra pushed herself back to her feet, looking pissed beyond belief.
"Good God, I hope he doesn't." I laughed, "He's awesome."
"You both need to grow up." She stalked off, shaking her head.
"I'm working on it." I called after her, "Then its your turn." I countered with that insult before I even thought about it. I probably shouldn't be insulting her, but she gave me a deep glare.
"I was kidding." I gasped, trying not laugh, "Whoops."
She seemed a little short-tempered tonight.
I made a zipping motion across my lips, biting into my bottom lip with an innocent smile. She turned again, continuing on.
"You're in trouble." Emmett muttered, chuckling as he passed me. I picked up the dropped deer, and launched it after him as a final 'fuck you', but he must have expected that, because he caught it, and launched it back at me. It came whipping through the air, hitting me and knocking me right off my feet yet again.
Fuck, he could throw hard.
I'd let them hunt, I decided. I laughed a little as I pulled myself up and stood in a tree. Looking out over the tops of the other trees. I couldn't see very far, as I was on a lower branch, but it was still nice to look at. The breeze of the changing season hit me, and I closed my eyes.
It was silent for a moment, until I heard something come out of hiding. Below me, a rather small animal hopped into view from under the boulders to the left. A small rabbit, lighter gray in color. Probably thinking it was safe since I'd been so still.
I hopped down, and startled it into attempting to run back into hiding, but I'd already caught it by the skin on the back of its neck, yanking it up off its feet. Its nose was twitching a thousand miles an hour, terrified as I held it up and looked it over.
It certainly didn't smell appetizing, but I didn't have any intentions of eating it, so I just watched it. When I was sure it wasn't going to bite me or fight, I released the back of its neck, and held it more comfortably in my left arm. Squatting down, leaning back against the tree as I stroked its fur.
"There." I told it, "I'm not so bad, am I? I won't eat you." I stared down at it, watching the way it'd blink when I pet its head, its nose still twitching nonstop. Several minutes passed this way, and its heartbeat started to slow down. I was sure my warmer temperature was calming it as much as my movements were.
Holding and petting the rabbit was oddly comforting. Like it calming down was calming me down. Cuddling it close, watching my hand move over its fur.
"Alex?" I looked over at Leandra's hesitant voice after several silent minutes, "You okay?" She and Mikah had found each other again, and had come looking when I wasn't there to annoy them.
"Yeah." I mumbled. I stood up, laughing a little as I gripped the rabbit by the loose skin on the back of its neck again and held it up, "I caught you a snack." It swung there gently, probably terrified again by the once more increased heartbeat.
She really didn't find that funny like I thought she would. She glanced over as Carlisle and Esme found us, stepping over. Concern coated Carlisle's expression as Leandra shook her head and walked away, and I didn't understand why.
"Leandra." Mikah called, following her, "She was kidding."
I held the rabbit more comfortably cradled in the crook of my arm once more, watching after her as I pet it again.
"Was it something I said?" I asked, looking to Carlisle, "Does she not like rabbits? I wasn't gonna let her eat it. I was kidding." Maybe she was still mad at me for the insult before?
"It's a long story, Alex." Carlisle replied, coming to my side, watching after her as well, "It's not you."
I shrugged a little, looking over as Emmett and Rose also returned.
"Hey, Emmett." I grinned, "A snack?"
He reacted much better than Leandra did, immediately laughing.
"A little small for my taste." He chuckled, "But look how cute." I held up the rabbit for him to get a good look, and he grinned, leaning closer to it. This bunny was going to need therapy.
"Let me see that thing." I let him take it from me, and he easily cupped it in one hand. Holding it up to look it over. He brought it close, chuckling when it gave a struggle. Snapping his teeth at it, causing another struggle from it.
"Don't hurt it." I muttered, and he looked to me. Surprised, given his expression. I was a little surprised myself.
"Don't hurt it?" He asked, chuckling again.
"Don't hurt it." I repeated, "Give it."
I reached for it, but he lifted it up, high above his head. He wasn't hurting it, but he was scaring it, which bothered me. Before it could get too far out of hand, I clenched my fist and punched him as hard as I could in the ribs. His arm came down enough for me to snatch the rabbit from his hand and push him back.
I squatted down and let the rabbit loose again. It hopped off immediately, back into its hiding space beneath the boulders. Completely unharmed, despite its haste to get away from me nearly causing it to run head first into the left side boulder.
I looked up, spotting Leandra watching me. Mikah beside her, Carlisle and Esme in front of her. I hadn't even noticed them move to her. I offered a small smile, hoping she wasn't still pissed at me for whatever I'd done.
She seemed so confused, but I couldn't figure out why. Sadness crossed her features, and she turned again. Heading back in the direction of the house. My smile faded, and I stood up with a frown.
"Leandra?" I tried to follow her, but Mikah stopped me.
"I wouldn't." He told me.
"I let the stupid thing go." I muttered, confused as I looked up at him, "Why's she still mad at me?"
"It's not about the rabbit." He replied, "She just needs to be alone right now."
"I don't get it." I admitted.
"She gets like this sometimes, badger." Emmett came to my side as Alice and Jasper arrived, "Don't take it personally."
"I'll go talk to her." Mikah offered with a sigh, starting off after her.
"I thought he said she needs to be alone?" I frowned. I was so lost.
"Alone with him." Emmett clarified, "He's about the only one of us that can talk to her when she gets like this."
"Gets like what?" I asked, my irritation betrayed by my tone, "I don't get it."
"Just trust me." Emmett replied, "You don't want to bug her right now."
"But bugging is what I'm best at." I muttered, but I would drop it for now.
Apparently, the hunt was over. I still wasn't sure what I'd done, but nobody seemed to blame me for it anyway. Carlisle and Esme sent us all back to the house, so they could go north.
Emmett wanted to go with them, but they declined. Telling him to stay here and protect the house instead. So he and Rose accompanied Jasper, Alice and I back to the house. They took Bella and Edward along instead.
We arrived, and to my surprise, neither Leandra nor Mikah were there. Not inside, at least. I couldn't help thinking that whatever it was that was bothering her was something I had done. Despite what the others said.
I tried not to let them know that it bothered me, but they probably already knew.
"You never answered." Emmett pointed out as I sat down on the couch, "What is your ability?" He was trying to distract me, which I appreciated.
"Oh, that's right." I replied, "I never did answer." He clearly thought I was about to answer, "You paying attention? It's pretty important."
I had all of their attention by then.
"My ability is.." I trailed off, and they waited, "None of your business."
"Aw, come on." Emmett groaned.
"The only one who knows what it is, is my dad." I told them, "Besides Darren, and the ones he told about it, but Darren cheated. I don't like having it, so why would I tell anyone what it is?"
"Because you never know." Alice replied, sitting beside me, "It could be helpful to us."
"If it was helpful, I'd have brought it up by now." I muttered, despite knowing that was a lie. My ability could be very helpful if I knew how to include other people, but as it stood right then, it wouldn't have helped this coven any.
"What bothers you so much about it?" Jasper asked, and I looked to him.
"Everything." I replied, and he sighed, "I'm not giving hints, dammit. It's not useful to anyone but me."
"Then why don't you use it?" Jasper asked, "If it can help you-"
"Because it won't do a damn thing to help you." I snapped, "I got you into this mess. Getting myself out of it would be the coward's way out, and I don't run from anything, remember?"
That was one hell of a hint. I could clearly see the way that got his mind working.
"Stop it." I muttered, standing.
"We're only curious." Jasper told me, "I've never come across anyone with as much hatred toward their ability as you." I crossed my arms, shaking my head as I looked down. It was true. I hated the damn thing.
"I'm a first for a lot of people." I replied, my tone flat.
"Is this gonna be some super huge surprise you pull out of your ass at the last possible second?" Emmett asked, "Some hidden weapon, like self-destruction or something?"
"Not exactly." I grumbled, "That would be helpful, and pretty fucking cool."
"Wouldn't it?" He chuckled.
"It's not that awesome, so don't worry about that." I muttered, "Trust me. Your ability is more helpful than mine is. I'm not a coward."
"The curiosity is going to kill me." Emmett actually whimpered, falling into the chair. It creaked alarmingly under his weight.
"I'm not telling you." I told him, "So give it up."
"I'll pay Eddy to tell me later." He replied, grinning.
"And I'll knock you out." I countered, "Don't you fucking dare."
"Easy." He chuckled, "I doubt he'd tell me anyway."
"Even my dad's ability is more helpful than mine." I grumbled, mostly to myself, "Why couldn't I get something like that?"
"Jack is gifted?" Alice asked. This seemed to be news to them.
"Yeah." I replied, "I thought you knew that?"
"What is his ability?" Jasper asked.
"He controls people." I replied, "Well, not so much control them, as he can control their loyalties. Urge them in the direction of his cause. He works with their free will. Tweaks it just a bit."
"I thought that was just his personality." Alice murmured, looking to Jasper.
"It certainly explains a lot." Jasper replied, returning her gaze.
"He's good at what he does." I nodded, relieved the subject had left me, "He could convince any human that walking off a building is a good idea, or just about any immortal that lighting themselves on fire would tickle."
"Shit." Emmett shuddered.
"It depends on the relationship he has with them, though." I explained, "If they know him well, it either helps or hinders. It works easiest if they don't know him first."
"Good to know." Alice replied.
"At least, that's how he explained it to me." I added quietly with a small shrug, "In my case, I've seen him do it enough times, that if he were to try it on me, I'd punch him in the nuts."
"Are you sure about that?" Jasper asked, "You're awfully loyal to him."
I looked to him, "If my loyalty to him was caused by him, there's no way I would be doubting it so much."
"Good point." He allowed.
"There would be no question in my mind." I sighed, "But there is. So.."
"Right." He murmured, "So have you decided anything regarding that?"
"No." I muttered, sitting back down, "You have no idea how hard it is. On one hand, I'm definitely paying attention to everything I've learned about him here. On the other hand, I'm remembering everything I know about him for myself. It's not that I don't believe you all, because I do, but.." I shook my head, "I can't ignore the things I know for myself, you know? In a way, I'm glad he hasn't come back yet, but I miss him."
"That can't be easy." Alice murmured.
"It makes it so much harder when he's the first person I ever saw alive." I replied, shaking my head, "I remember everything. I even remember hearing his voice before I was born. He first held me about ten seconds after I was born, and we've been together ever since. How do I turn my back on that?" Nobody offered an answer, and I couldn't blame them. I sighed, "Five years ago tomorrow night, I was born."
"It's your birthday tomorrow?" That caught Alice's attention.
"Yeah." I replied, nodding, "If you consider the day I ripped and tore my way out of my mother to be a birthday, then yeah."
"Were you born with teeth, too?" Emmett asked, and I looked to him.
"I couldn't have gotten out otherwise." I pointed out, "My dad wasn't about to help me. He compared it to a train wreck. He couldn't look away. I think it scared him a little."
"That must be so weird to remember being born." He chuckled.
"I don't think it's any different than you remembering being turned." I replied, "Only mine wasn't painful. Uncomfortable, for sure, but not painful. Only you weren't helpless when you were turned."
"Helpless?" Emmett asked.
"I was a baby." I reminded him, "I didn't know how to do anything. Getting out was instinct, but everything else I had to figure out on my own. I wasn't exactly mobile yet, so I had to rely on my dad for everything."
"You were a newborn." He chuckled, "Literally." I nodded a little, smirking at the humor of that.
"It took me roughly one or two weeks before I learned to crawl, about a month before I could finally walk." I admitted, "That sucked. Longest month of my life. I fell on my face a lot, but I could walk. Immediately after that, my dad made sure I had my first hunt. I've been doing it ever since." I smiled sadly, "I don't remember him ever being as proud of me as he was that day. The day I caught my first human. He was.. So proud of me.."
My voice quieted, and I looked down.
"I miss him." I hated admitting that, "If he was here, he'd tell me to stop fucking whining. He'd tell me how pathetic I'm acting, and to quit bitching. I'd give anything to hear him tell me that." I hesitated, closing my eyes briefly, "And I'd keep doing it, just to hear him tell me again. Just to hear him say anything. Just one word will do."
I turned away from them, just to attempt to hide my emotion from them. It was stupid, so immature to miss him so much, but he was my father. I wouldn't be alive if it hadn't been for him, and I wouldn't have survived if it weren't for him. They didn't seem to understand that.
It was clear none of them knew what to say. Until Emmett spoke up.
"Quit bitching." He barked at me, and I looked over, a small laugh leaving me. He was obviously trying to imitate my dad, "Better?"
"Not the same." I replied, "But it's the effort that counts. Thanks."
Before anything else could be said, I looked toward the door at the sound of someone arriving. I half hoped it'd be Leandra, so I could go to sleep, but Carlisle followed Esme up onto the porch.
"They're aware." Carlisle announced with a sigh as they came in the house, "Tanya will get the word going for us." He really didn't seem relieved, however.
"Is that a good thing?" I asked hesitantly. He looked to me.
"I really hate bothering them with this." He explained, "I'd really hoped this was over ten years ago."
"Do they know about me?" I asked, and he sighed, "I mean, if they were involved last time, they might not be happy about me being here."
"I thought it best to leave that detail out for now." He replied, "Until they have a chance to meet you." I nodded a little, sighing as I looked toward the window.
"What is it?" He asked.
"Shorty's still gone." Emmett answered quietly.
"I see." Carlisle sighed again, "I can see how that'd bother her."
"Why's everyone always leaving me?" I muttered, sitting down.
"She does this sometimes, Alex." Alice told me, "She'll be back by morning."
"I didn't mean to piss her off that much." I looked to her, "Really."
It took massive amounts of insistence before they managed to talk me into going upstairs to sleep. I wanted to keep resisting, and stay up until Leandra and Mikah got back, but after the day I'd had, I was wiped out. It must have showed, because they insisted more than they usually did. I normally would have just ignored that, and told them to fuck off, but I just couldn't help listening to their advice.
I settled in my usual spot on the floor, facing the wall. Laying awake for only a moment, before falling asleep almost instantly.
"Hey." I grunted at the attempt to wake me up, "Hey. Wake up."
"I will hurt you." I mumbled to Mikah without opening my eyes. It was relieving, however, knowing they'd come back. Despite how tired I still was.
"Come on." He chuckled, "Do you want to sleep all day?"
"Yes." I replied, still without opening my eyes.
"No you don't." He chuckled again.
I whined loudly, finally forcing myself to sit up, "Fuck. You."
"So." He muttered conversationally while I sat there, "A very hyper little birdy told me today was your birthday."
"So?" I muttered, glaring at him through still-sleepy eyes.
"So.." He sighed, "It's my duty to ask you what you'd like for your birthday."
"To sleep." I answered immediately, "'Night." I laid back down.
"Ah, ah." He caught my wrist lightly, tugging me back upright, "Come on."
"You suck so hard right now." I growled, forcing myself to stand up.
"Well, maybe you shouldn't have suggested playing pillow-fight with dead deer." He countered as he followed me from the bedroom, "Then you wouldn't be so tired."
"It was fun." Was the only defense I had, "I like to have fun."
"Nothing wrong with that." He allowed with a shrug.
"Is she still mad at me?" I asked, looking up at him. For the strangest reason, that mattered deeply to me. Normally, I wouldn't have cared if someone was pissed at me for something I'd done, but it mattered to me that Leandra could be.
"She's not mad at you, Alex." He replied, shaking his head.
"It sure seemed that way yesterday." I countered, "What did I do? So I know what not to do again." He sighed.
"Sometimes.." He hesitated, "She gets into these moods."
"What moods?"
"She has trouble handling stress, and every now and then, it gets to her." He explained, "She needs a few hours by herself to unwind a little."
"Well, shit." I muttered, "Why didn't anyone just say that? Here I was thinking she fucking hated me."
"Not at all." He laughed a little, "It's just.. Difficult for her sometimes."
"Happy Birthday." Alice greeted the second my foot was off the last step. I flinched a little, startled at how happy she seemed to be.
"Should I not have mentioned anything?" I asked, looking nervously to Mikah.
"I'd have gone out and gotten you a whole lot of gifts if I knew you'd be allowed to keep them." Alice continued, taking my hand, "So I figured those could wait until we knew how everything concluded. Or until Christmas."
"What's Christmas?" I frowned, letting her lead me toward the living room. Mikah's heavy, irritated sounding sigh had me look to him in time to just catch Leandra leaving the house again.
"Damn." Alice sighed as Mikah followed Leandra, "I forgot. I'm sorry, Leandra."
"For shit's sake," I grumbled, "What now?"
"And you're always telling me to think before I speak?" Emmett muttered from the couch, shaking his head.
"What is it?" I asked, confused. How could just the mention of something send her away?
"Her past is heavy, Alex." Alice replied sadly, "You can't even imagine."
"I saw pictures." I murmured, and she shook her head.
"Pictures don't mean much." She explained, "Until you know what something like that does to someone as a person." She gave me a sad smile, and I watched after her as she crossed the room. Following Leandra as well.
What was getting to her so badly? She seemed fine before. Not this edgy, and sure as fuck not this moody.
"I don't get it." I admitted quietly.
"Just be careful what you say for a few days, badger." Emmett told me, and I sighed, sitting beside him.
"How am I supposed to know what's okay to say, and what's not?" I asked, "I'm so lost." Alice was obviously not wanted out there, because she came back in. Across the room, Carlisle sighed.
"Alex." He murmured, and I looked to him, "Come on." I stood back up, and followed him to the door this time. I followed him outside, out onto the porch. It was colder again today, but it had yet to rain, even with the thick, bright clouds above. Usually meaning a snow was brewing.
I followed his gaze toward the north side of the house, curious when I looked across the yard, finally discovering where Leandra had gone. She and Mikah stood there, just inside the trees. On the most hidden side of the house, but not so far that they'd lose track of them.
Mikah held her close, his arms encasing her waist as she held onto him in return. Her head hung, her eyes closed. His lips against her forehead, murmuring nearly silently to her. His voice was so quiet, I could only hear the soft, murmuring timbre of his voice but not understand a single word, and I could see why he spoke so gently to her.
She seemed so sad, so down.
It took me a moment to realize what I was looking at. It took me so long to realize, because she's always been so strong. This was what it looked like when a vampires strength was nearing its end. This was their way of crying, of trying to ease the emotional pain they had built up over time. Of course, they couldn't cry, so they relied on each other to get them through it.
I imagined Leandra had a lot of moments like this, but I'd never once seen her looking so fragile. Never so worn down, or scared. To see it first hand made me really question.
I was looking at the result of a horrible human life, paired with an unending lifetime of remembering it. I was looking at the result of being torn apart, ripped to pieces, and the struggle to replace each piece before they shattered even more.
I was looking at vulnerability behind a solid wall of an attempt at strength. The complete lie she told when she told herself that she could handle it alone. I was looking at the effort she used to continue telling herself that complete lie. I was looking at that effort coming to an end.
I was looking at the strength Mikah offered her. I was looking at his own effort to hold onto her when she so badly needed to let go. He was so soft, easy with her, despite the way she was just as indestructible as he was. Like was worried she'd break right before his eyes. I feared the same thing.
Even I, someone who'd never experienced that kind of torment or suffering, could see it. Even I could recognize it.
Slowly, as not to make a sound, I lowered. Sitting on the top step. The sight in front of me brought tears to my eyes. I'd never, ever seen such an emotional scene in my life, and I instantly knew it was something I'd always remember. For the rest of my life, I'd always remember this. Seeing the proof, even if I hadn't believed it before, directly in front of me of what my father was capable of reducing someone to.
A single solid tear managed to leave my right eye, dropping briefly to catch on my upper cheek. I hardly noticed its presence, my sight locked on them.
There was no faking that. There was no way that could have been fabricated or exaggerated. I could see her pain, her effort and her strength in that scene. Despite the way she looked so fragile and broken, I could see her strength as well.
The painful scene in front of me was proof enough, but I'd changed in those minutes watching them. I'd never been so sure, so completely positive that I was doing the right thing. That I'd made the right choice. I saw what they'd been talking about. It was standing right in front of me.
Nobody in the world ever deserved to feel like she felt. Least of all someone like her. To know it was my father that took everything from her, made me see what she'd been getting at.
She wanted to keep me from finding out what that kind of pain was like.
"It's not easy." I didn't look away. I didn't look up at Carlisle's voice beside me, "It's so hard to see her like that."
"It is." I whispered in response. Almost like that confession, that agreement would break her even more, and I didn't want to do that. I didn't want to be the reason she fell apart completely.
"She tries so hard." Carlisle continued, but Leandra didn't even seem to hear him. Probably only focused on Mikah. He spoke again, "She has moments like this. Even without the threat of Jack's return, she has moments like this. Moments of overwhelming sadness and fear that just get to be too much for her to handle. She can't take it, so she moves away. She draws in. I'm surprised it's taken this long, to be honest, but when she falls into these moments, there's very little any of us can do to help her."
"Why?" I didn't miss the emotion in my voice, and I could just see passed the tears in my eyes as I finally looked up at him.
"She refuses." He answered, but I shook my head.
"Why do I feel like this?" I clarified, looking back to Leandra.
"That's compassion." He replied gently, "You're understanding."
"It hurts." I whimpered, my voice tight as more tears escaped both my eyes this time.
It really did. To see the pure, complete definition of suffering, standing there across the yard from me really wounded me to see. Suffering, like I'd never understood the word before.
Carlisle stayed quiet, and I slowly rose to my feet again. Taking a single step back, to take the open spot beside him. I wondered out loud as I looked up at him, "How does she live? How does she hide that? Keep that to herself? How?"
"She hides it so we don't have to experience it." He explained, "Except in times like this, when she can no longer handle it alone, and she finds that she has escape. Mikah is always there, so we're not concerned about her moving off on her own. He's about the only one allowed to see this.
"She used to be so angry." He continued, "All the time, and it was difficult for her to control it, but over time, she overcame that anger. Trading the outbursts for moments like this, though none of us could truly blame her for being angry."
"I'd rather see the anger." I admitted, "This.. I-It's unreal.."
I closed my eyes, looking down as I watched her step closer to him, wanting his arms completely around her. Something he wouldn't deny her. I took a step back, shaking my head. I'd obviously underestimated the situation before.
Shamefully, I shook my head again, and I turned away. I couldn't watch that anymore.
Carlisle followed me into the house, closing the door behind himself. It bothered me so much that I couldn't stand to see that. Like I had every opportunity to look away, but Leandra was living it. She couldn't look or turn away from it.
My dad. My father, the man that had raised me caused that. He broke her, and made her feel like she could never be happy. He took everything from her. He beat her, abused her, and I was seeing what that did to someone. I was seeing the result of that, but I couldn't even look at it.
The others stayed quiet, and Jasper had even joined Alice by then. Esme looking on from the kitchen. Carlisle watched me pace for a few moments, until I stopped and looked to him.
"I don't know what to do." I really started to cry. The emotional scene outside finally hitting me. I wasn't even the one suffering, yet here I stood. Crying for the one that was.
I didn't know what the hell was going on, but I accepted Carlisle's hug like I needed it to breathe. I'd never been hugged before, so this was entirely new to me, and it must have been some sort of instinct that had me return it.
But somehow, being hugged like that, made me cry harder. Like every bit of emotion I'd ever had in my life wanted to come forward at once. Like every moment of my life, spent in a pain I never even knew I was in, had chosen now to express itself in this moment.
Never had I ever cried so hard.
"He did that." I sobbed, my eyes squeezed tight. It wasn't a question, but somehow that statement hadn't meant as much before. It was almost empty before, but now it held weight.
"How could he do that?" I asked, "Why would he do that?"
"I couldn't tell you." Carlisle replied, "Some questions just have no answers." I stepped back, forcefully embarrassed at how hard I cried.
"How could he do that?" I asked again through pouring tears, "S-She's done nothing. She doesn't deserve to feel like that. Why would he do that? That?"
"It's very clear that you were raised much differently than Leandra was." He murmured, "So I'm not entirely surprised that you can't understand. You do, however, see the injustice. How wrong it is, how unfair."
"Damn right I do." I cried, looking back out the window briefly, "It's not fair! That's not okay! That's not okay! What do I do when he comes back?"
"I cannot tell you what should be done." Carlisle told me, "That is for you to decide. It is your decision to make, but don't misunderstand. You'll in no way be alone. No matter your decision."
I took a breath, sniffling roughly as I glanced back out the window. I knew what I'd have to do, but it would be the hardest thing I'd ever had to do. I cared about my dad, but if he was capable of reducing someone to the level Leandra was on right now, all over memories of her life before, what else was he capable of? I had to consider my own safety now.
I'd been undecided before, but I fully realized now. I couldn't go back to him. Despite it being a definite possibility before, now that it was final, I could clearly feel the tearing separation that came with that decision.
"No matter your decision." He repeated, "Am I clear?" I nodded a little. Wringing my hands, I suddenly felt so lost. Like I didn't know what to do with myself.
"This should be easy." I cried, shaking my head, "I don't want that. I don't want to end up like her."
"As you told us last night," Jasper spoke up, and I looked to him, "You understand our view, but you also understand your own. You weren't raised to fear him the way Leandra was. You were raised with his views."
"I'm still not stupid." I argued, "I know I don't want to end up like her. If he can do that to her, what stops him from doing that to me?"
"Exactly." Alice murmured, and I knew that's what they'd been getting at that whole time, "But he's your father. The one that's been there. That's what makes this so hard. Change is always hard on everyone."
"I can't blame you for resisting it." Jasper added, "But.." He trailed off.
"I know." I muttered, my tone quieter now, "I know."
I heard her approach, and I turned away just as Leandra stepped back up onto the porch.
"Carlisle." She spoke up, "It's Cole." She'd obviously not been paying attention before, because she grew concerned as I looked to her. I couldn't blame her for not paying attention to anything other than what she was going through.
"What's wrong?" Her tone had dropped, as if dreading the answer to that very complex question. She could easily see that I'd been crying. Partially, I still was.
"Nothing." I mumbled, "I'm fine."
"I'm not stupid." She crossed the room to stand beside me, "What's wrong? What happened?"
"Nothing." I replied, turning away again. I shook my head, forcing a tight smile up at her, "Really. I'm fine."
She really didn't believe me, but I shook my head with a sigh and strode toward the door.
"Who's Cole?" I asked, listening to her eventually follow me.
I moved over the second I was on the porch, letting Carlisle step passed me and take the front. Whoever Cole was, I didn't want to meet him head on.
"What in the hell happened to her?" Mikah asked from the yard, frowning. Beside him, stood the obvious leader of the coven behind him. One I hadn't met yet. This must have been Cole, and his partner beside him. Her long dark reddish brown hair framed her very friendly smile.
I noted the size of this coven. I counted seven. Not too unusually big.
"It's been too long." This newcomer was more familiar to me. Obviously a friend of the family, but his crimson eyes pleased me to see. I'd have someone to hunt with if I ever stopped eating cookies.
"Cole." Carlisle replied, "I wish this meeting was under better conditions."
"Hey," The one he called Cole waved it off, "Maybe this time, we'll get him."
"Who the hell is that?" I whispered, leaning closer to Leandra.
"That's Cole." She answered, "He and Destiny are the leaders of another coven. They're good friends." I nodded a little, "He's been a good friend for quite awhile."
Cole finally seemed to notice me standing there beside Leandra, smiling a little, "Who's this cutie? She's half human."
"This cutie can kick your ass." I answered without missing a beat, "So don't take me lightly." His expression lightened into deep amusement. He found that funny, obviously, but I didn't press it. Not with his coven behind him, and not with Carlisle and Leandra beside me.
"Cole, this is Alex." Carlisle replied, "She's the one that gave us the forewarning."
"It's great to meet you, darling." Cole smiled at me.
"Same." I admitted, "You hunt humans?"
"But of course." He replied, "I'm afraid I'm not brave enough to step off the beaten path as Carlisle has."
"You know Darren too?" I asked quietly, moving forward a few steps closer. Cole watched me, and I had to look up at him. His lighter brown hair falling slightly as he had to look down at me to see me.
"Unfortunately." He replied, "Darren, in my experience, is very untrustworthy, unless you suit his agenda."
"To me he's spineless, and follows orders more often than he gives them." I added, gaining a smirk in return.
"Where on Earth did you find her?" Cole asked, looking to Carlisle.
"She sort of found us." Leandra answered for him, gaining Cole's attention.
"Leandra, darling." He greeted her even warmer than Carlisle, "It's always lovely to see you." She smiled, giving him a polite nod, "It still amazes me, Carlisle, how well you manage to stay together."
Leandra and Mikah quickly got into talking with Cole about how his coven had been doing over the years. Cole's coven behind him seemed very interested in me, but I was just as interested in them.
The one Leandra pointed out as Destiny smiled at me.
"Hi, honey." She greeted me politely.
"Hi." I greeted in return, "You're Destiny." She gave a nod.
"You can call me Dess. It's shorter, and to the point." I smiled a little.
"I'm Alex." I told her and she smiled this time, "Shorter for Alexis, not Alexandra, so don't confuse them. I don't have a shorter version of Alex, so I guess you'll have to suffer."
She laughed, "Oh, the agony." I laughed a little along with her. She noticed my preoccupation with the coven behind her, "Don't mind these animals. They're harmless."
"I sure fucking hope not." I muttered, "They're supposed to be here to help, aren't they?" That got a few chuckles from the others, including Dess herself.
"You're sure a funny little thing." She told me, her tone giving away just how much she meant that. At least this new coven seemed to like me. So far, so good.
"Maybe you're just easy to entertain." I suggested, "That's a possibility, right?"
"She's definitely easy to entertain." One of her coven replied behind her.
"Nothing wrong with that." I shrugged, "Makes life interesting."
I caught the scent of someone sneaking in the trees as Dess turned to snap a retort at her coven, and I tensed in response to it. I'd never smelled this scent before so it took my entire focus. I immediately started for it, much to their surprise.
"Alex." Leandra called after me, laughing a little.
Whoever it was lurking in the trees, knowing he was caught, attempted to turn and run, but I was already on him. In his attempt to run, he forgot to fight me, so I pinned him on his stomach, both arms behind him as I shoved his face into the ground.
"Who are you?" I demanded of him.
He was young. Easily small enough for me to take on by myself.
"My name is Elias." I heard him mumble into the foliage, "Friend. Not foe."
"Come on, killer." Mikah chuckled, stepping over and literally picking me up off of him and setting me to the side after I glared at him. Elias stood up, dusting himself off with a laugh.
"She's fast." He told Mikah, and I glared toward the ones that came to stand behind him, as if he were a leader. Until I finally seemed to notice. Elias had the same golden eyes as Leandra. As did the ones behind him.
"It's alright." Mikah murmured to me, "And Eli, didn't we tell you not to sneak up on us?"
"How was I supposed to know you got a guard pup?" He asked, laughing a little. I was close enough to punch him in the face, so I couldn't resist taking that opportunity. He hit the ground, and I watched him closely. He didn't even seem to know what literally hit him.
Laughing awkwardly, Mikah took my shoulders and turned me around. Urging me back in the direction of the yard. I took the hint, and walked off. Irritated, but I'd listen to him.
"Eli-ass is an asshole." I muttered as I returned to Carlisle's side. Leandra snorted, finding that amusing.
"Eli.." She greeted as Mikah led him to the trees, before she looked to me again, "You learn to tolerate him."
"Tanya and the others will be coming along soon." Eli reported, coming to Carlisle's side as well, "They wanted to get in a good hunt before making their way down here."
"They're welcome to hunt in our territory." Carlisle replied, but Eli smiled.
"Less tension that way." He countered, "Without having to worry about stopping to hunt, we can focus better this way." He sighed, glancing to me again briefly, "So.. Darren's at it again?"
"Not just Darren." Leandra replied, "Jack's coven became involved yesterday."
"Really?" That seemed to surprise him, "Normally they stay out of it and let Darren do the dirty work."
"Exactly." She murmured, "I don't know how long they've been there. Which is why there's a rush on gathering the others."
"I see." He muttered, "What does Jack want this time? I thought it was settled about ten years ago?"
"So did we." She shook her head, "But obviously, he's got more to settle."
"He just doesn't quit." Eli sighed, "Well, you better believe I'm not sitting back this time, hippo." I frowned at that name, but it was obviously an inside thing, because she laughed a little.
"We've got a little bit of inside information this time, though." Leandra added, "Pretty useful when it comes to knowing a bit about what we're dealing with."
"When is Jack going to move on?" Eli asked, "Seriously. He's got way too much time on his hands if he's wasting it on this. He needs a hobby, because being a raving psychopath isn't working for him."
"Watch it." I grumbled, and he looked to me. Obviously confused.
"I'd keep the bad-mouthing to a minimum, Eli." Mikah told him, "Trust me, we're all in agreement, but it's better to leave it unsaid."
"Why?" He asked, not understanding, "If everyone agrees-"
"He's my dad." I snapped, "And I will drop you." That surprised everyone who didn't know, and for a moment, I worried that I would be a deal breaker, but nobody moved. Hesitantly, I glanced up at Carlisle, until my attention was taken.
"If you're protective of him, why are you here, darling?" Cole wasn't meaning to be offensive with that question. He was honestly curious.
"Because I can't stand Darren." I replied, "I don't agree with anything he stands for. I won't be helping him try to bully Carlisle or his coven, and I won't let him try to bully me."
"You think Darren is the one behind all this?" Eli snorted, "You're dreaming. Darren doesn't think up stuff like this."
"I don't know what my dad is thinking." I replied, my tone less sharp, "He never said a thing to me about any of this, so I don't know who exactly is behind whatever this is. All I know, is Darren was pissed at me for coming here, and everything's been piling up ever since, but as far as I know, my dad doesn't know I haven't been doing what he told me to do. Darren's too much of a pussy to tell him."
"That can't be all it is." Leandra murmured, and I knew she was right, "And the fact that Omar is there now only confirms that, because since Jack doesn't know you haven't been listening to him, he'd have no reason to send Omar, if he didn't have another plan for him."
"Not to mention the fact that he chose those specific members of the coven to come along with Omar." Mikah replied.
"Who the hell is Omar?" Eli muttered, frowning.
"Omar is the one that took over Jack's coven when he had to leave them." Leandra explained.
"So wait.." Eli's frown stayed, "Jack left that coven, but they're still listening to him?"
"Darren and Omar are loyal to him." I said, "Shawn confirmed that."
"I'm assuming Shawn is a member of Omar's coven?" Cole asked, and I nodded.
"Not a very pleasant one." I added, "When I asked Omar why he brought so many, he only said it was for his own protection, but I can pretty much guarantee that was a lie." I looked to Carlisle, "Without him completely positive that I'm on his side, there's no way he'll tell me anything."
"No." Leandra said, firmer, "You're not doing that."
"I still think that plan shouldn't be completely shot down." I insisted, "Yeah, it's dangerous, but name one plan that isn't, and if it helps, it'd be completely worth it."
"No." She repeated with a sigh, and I shrugged a little.
"So wait.." Eli muttered again, "She's Jack's daughter? Biologically?" I frowned, looking to him.
"No shit, dumb-fuck." I replied, "Isn't that what I said? Keep up, would you?"
"Hey." Mikah frowned, "You're a little more hostile today than usual, aren't you?"
"From what I hear, definitely his daughter." Eli chuckled, though.
"What's that supposed to mean?" I snapped. I was getting real tired of people saying that to me.
"It means you're a spoiled little brat with a bad attitude and an even worse mouth." He whipped back at me, "Just like he is." I pounced before he even knew what was happening. Catching a solid, steel hold around his neck and swinging him down to the ground.
Cole had to move back, both he and Dess surprised at my short fuse.
Before the fight could advance too far, however, I was pulled from him. Giving Eli enough space to roll away, chuckling excitedly.
"Whoo!" He laughed, rising to his feet as I gave Mikah a good struggle, "She's loads of fun, isn't she?"
"Not so much when you piss her off," Mikah replied, his voice straining with the effort to hold me back, "So cut it out."
"Okay, okay." Eli muttered, stepping closer to me, "I'm sorry, you little ticking time-bomb. I'm sorry for what I said about your daddy."
"It's habit, I guess." I replied quietly after a moment of calming down, "Sorry."
Mikah reluctantly released me, and when I didn't try to attack Eli again, the others moved back over. I took a breath, and decided to explain the reason behind my irritation.
"I know what I have to do, but I really don't know if I can." I mumbled, looking to Leandra.
"What do you mean?" She asked, and my normally guarded expression fell into one of sadness. I could feel it.
"You're right." I finally mumbled, "I saw today what you've been trying to tell me. About my dad." She looked down, "I have to think about protecting myself now. I can't go back to him."
"That's going to piss him off." Mikah sighed, looking to Carlisle.
"Not if I use my ability on him." I corrected, gaining their attention.
A/N: Geez, it feels like years since I last updated. I'm sorry it's been so long. RL has been kicking my ass for several days now.
Emotional chapter, but it's obviously needed, I think. I hope it was at least worth the long wait. :}
I'm going to just go ahead and admit it right now that I miss Leandra lol
THANK YOU to those that took the time to leave me their thoughts to read! THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU! :D
Seven may take some time, considering when I wrote it out, it sort of.. Took off on me lol I need to sort it out and get back onto track.
Until Seven, my wonderful friends!