Chapter 20

Hidden Thoughts

"Do you realize"- The Flaming Lips

Foss (POV)

I silently watched him sleep sprawled out on the chair next to my bed. He barely left this room and if he did it was for brief periods of time. He worried so much about me and it pained me to be the cause of his stress. He has been my life for the passed 18 years, and I haven't regretted a single minute of it because he's been worth it. In a way I have cared for him as if he were my own son, in truth he is the closest thing I have to a son.

I peered up at the monitors above me, beeping steadily. I glanced back over at Kyle, my only family. I wasn't going to leave him, I wasn't going to be taken away from him, I knew what it was like to have a loved one taken too soon and I wasn't going to do that to him.

Kyle (POV)

I kept up with the doctors and said by goodbyes to Foss as the wheeled him to the O.R.

"I'll see you in a couple hours," I leaned down and hugged him, for what could be the la- I cut that thought off before I could finish it.

"I'll be the one with the new heart!" He laughed at his own corny joke.

"Mr. Trager, you can't go passed this point." One of the nurses informed me.

They wheeled the bed through the doors and down the hall until I couldn't see them anymore.

I found my way back to the waiting room and sat there for an hour or so. I checked my phone out of habit and noticed there was a text from Amanda.

Just put Brice to bed he misses you… I do too. Tell Foss we love him. I'll see you in the morning. Love you!

I smiled and closed the phone she had sent it around nine the night before and it was nearing six in the morning now.

"Mr. Trager?" A deep voice asked.

"Yes," I stood up realizing the deep voice belonged to one of Dr. Lynn's interns.

"Ah, Mr. Foss insisted on me giving you this note." He dug in his pocket. "Here."

I took the note and scanned it over. "How's the surgery going?" I asked not looking up from the note.

Kyle,

I want you to know that I'm going to be fine, so while I'm in surgery GO HOME! Spend some time with your FAMILY! I'll still be in surgery when you get back.

-Foss

I chuckled just thinking of Foss saying these words.

"The surgery is going well." The intern muttered.

I folded the note between my fingers. "Okay well I'm going to head home for a little while," I paused at the door. "I want you to call me if anything happens!" I said the word slowly.

"Yes Mr. Trager!" He informed me.

I knew I was being a little over protective but if Foss wanted me to leave then I was going to leave him in the best hands possible.

I pulled into a parking space in the parking garage across from the apartment building.

When I strolled through the lobby Amber stopped me.

"Kyle!" her high pitch squeak was like nails on a chalk board causing me to wince.

"Hello Amber," I said trying to just leave it at that.

"I haven't seen you around lately, did you and your fiancé get in a fight?" she probed.

"No and if we did that would be between me and my fiancé." I reminded her stepping onto the elevator.

I quietly unlocked the apartment door not wanting to wake Amanda or Brice considering the early hour. I slipped out of my shoes and tossed the keys on the table.

I checked on Brice and found him sleeping soundly in his crib. I found Amanda passed out on the couch. I gently slipped my arms behind her back and behind her knees scooping her up in my arms. She stirred but relaxed when she realized it was me. I carried her to our bed tucking her under the covers. I slipped off my jeans and my sweat shirt and climbed into bed with her wrapping my arms around her. I kissed her golden hair and she cuddled closer to my chest.

It felt good to lay in our bed with her in my arms I had missed this. Within minutes I dosed off.

When I awoke Amanda was still sleeping soundly in my arms. I smiled and watched her, she looked like an angel. My angel. I brushed a few stray hairs away from her face and kissed her softly on her lips.

"Amanda…" I whispered then laid another gentle kiss on her lips. "Amanda…" Her eyes began to flutter.

"Mmmm…" She moaned. "I missed that." She smiled her eyes still closed.

I chuckled then kissed her more tenderly "We have to get back to the hospital." I murmured between kisses.

"Okay," she sighed in defeat.

I went over to the closet grabbing a fresh set of clothes.

"I'm going to hop in the shower!" she called from the hall.

I quickly changed into a light grey long sleeve waffle shirt and dark blue jeans. I heard Brice begin to wake up, I glanced at the clock it was nearing nine; I was surprised he hadn't woken up sooner. I pulled the shirt over my head as I walked through the hall to his room.

"Daddy?" He asked standing up in his crib.

"Yeah buddy," I smiled scooping him up.

"Daddy!" He squealed.

I smiled as I helped him get dressed. It made me sad though that this was the first time in a little over a week that I had been there when he woke up in the morning.

Amanda was dressed and out of the shower making a quick breakfast when we made it out to the kitchen. We ate and luckily Brice didn't end up with his breakfast all over himself.

"Daddy where we goin?" Brice asked as I buckled him into his car seat.

"To see Uncle Foss." I told him

"Oh," was all he said.

I climbed into the front seat and started the car. "Ready?" I asked Amanda.

"Yeah," she smiled "Kyle, are you okay?"

"I'm fine." I lied; the truth was I was worried about Foss.

As we drove my phone went off, I glanced at the caller id Nicole. Then it dawned on me that I hadn't talked to anyone from my family in over two weeks. This meant they had no idea about Foss.

"Hello," I said answering my phone.

"Kyle?" Nicole's voice was coated with concern.

"Yes,"

"Kyle Adam Trager!" I knew I was in trouble. "You haven't called me or anyone in this family for over two weeks!" she scolded.

"I'm sorry Nicole; things have been a little crazy here." I told her as we parked in the hospital parking lot.

"What do you mean is everything okay?" Her mothering senses were kicking in.

"Well…" I started as I got out of the car and got the stroller out of the trunk.

"Foss is having a heart transplant today." I just said it like tearing a band ad off.

"Oh god what happened?"

"I was at the park with Brice and Amanda about a week and a half ago when I got a phone call from the hospital saying he had just been admitted because he had suffered a massive heart attack."

I wrapped my free arm around Amanda as she pushed the stroller toward the hospital and I continued to talk to Nicole.

"And now he's having a heart transplant?" Nicole confirmed.

"Yeah I didn't know this but he has had a history of heart problems he never told me about and I never pick up on." I felt bad that I hadn't picked up on it.

"Well Kyle, you can't catch everything." She reminded me. "Even you are human."

"I know…" By then we had made it to the waiting room. "We're at the hospital now so I'm going to go get an update on how the surgery is going."

"Alright Kyle, call me when you get the chance."

"I will, bye Nicole tell everyone I say hi and I love them." I said sitting down in one of the chairs by Amanda and Brice.

"Okay Kyle, I love you and tell Brice and Amanda I say hi and I love them as well."

"Alright love you too bye!" I hung up the phone.

I glanced at Amanda she was scowling at me.

"What?" I asked.

"You didn't tell you're family that you've been spending the past two weeks in the hospital because Foss had a heart attack." She scolded

"Things have been a little hectic." I defended.

"Kyle," She folded her arms over her chest trying to be angry.

"I know, I know I should have told them," I chuckled. "You know you're kinda cute when you're angry."

"I did not know that but what I do know is that you're trying to suck up." She retorted.

I leaned over and pecked her cheek and whispered in her ear. "You're not really made at me are you?"

"No," She sighed and I chuckled.

"Now that is something I haven't seen in a long time Mr. and Mrs. Trager." Dr. Lynn's head nurse Todd announced as he entered the waiting room.

"Oh we're not married." Amanda blushed.

I grinned at the thought. "How is the surgery going?"

"Just fine the doctors are just finishing up." He informed us. "It should be about another hour until they are completely finished."

"Alright thank you Todd." And with that he left.

"So if he thought we were married does that mean everyone else thinks so as well?" Amanda whispered as she placed a sleeping Brice back into the stroller.

"Maybe, but would that be such a bad thing?" I asked.

"Being married?" she questioned.

"Yeah," I smiled, running my thumb across the back of her hand.

"No I'd love being married to you, but we aren't even finished with college." She reminded me.

"Well we haven't exactly done things in order." I said. "I mean we're living together, we're raising Brice together… We might as well be married."

"Are you proposing Kyle?" she giggled.

"No, if I was proposing believe me you would know." I chuckled wrapping my arm around her.

We both decided to get some school work done while we waited. I was working on my Anatomy class work when Dr. Lynn marched into the room.

"Dr. Lynn," I said setting my lap top aside and stood up.

"Mr. Trager, I wanted to inform you that Mr. Foss is out of surgery and in recovery." She told us.

"That's amazing!" I cheered.

"But we're not out of the woods yet Mr. Trager, recovery is not going to be easy." She harked.

"I understand, when do you think he will be able to go home?" I asked.

"Well if everything goes well than in the next couple of days." She smiled for the second time since I had met her.

"Thank you Dr. Lynn! Thank you!"

"You're welcome Mr. Trager, I'll have one of the nurses come get you when he wakes up." Then she left.

"He's going to be fine!" I almost shouted. "He's going to be fine!"

I scooped Amanda up and spun her around "He's not going to die!" I set her down.

"This is great Kyle!" She smiled still in my arms.

"It is…" I agreed crushing my lips to hers.

AN: Well I hope you all loved this chapter, I've been working on it whenever I've had any free time. Sorry it's been so long since I have updated but like I said I've only been working on this in my free time which isn't much. Thank you for reading and please comment!

*Oh and I almost forgot to mention I saw Matt Dallas (for all of you who don't know he played Kyle) in a new show called Eastwick on abc.*