Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of the stuff J.K. Rowling created.

Chapter Seventeen

James and Sirius: Twin Sisters

James, so far, was very impressed with our team and the progress we'd been making over just several practices. He'd keep saying that we were the best team in this school, and he encouraged us to do our best always.

Of course, James himself loved to show off during practice when Lily came to watch, and he'd brag nonstop. Annoyed with it after the first three practices, I'd asked Lily to not show up that much. Thankfully, she'd agreed, and it hadn't taken much begging. James always ticked her off with that crap of his.

But that didn't stop her from teasing James at any other time, saying she'd been allowed by both Hufflepuff's team captain (a sixth year guy who seemed to be fond of Lily) and Gary to watch their practices, and that we didn't stand a chance. James got extremely mad at the fact that she'd been watching the "enemies'" practices instead of her House's and that she could think of us so lowly. Sirius, Remus, and I all thought he was mainly jealous, which we'd used to our advantage (pranks are so much fun, might I add…).

But nonetheless, I still didn't dare tell any of the Marauders (aside from Remus who thought it was great I was socializing with others outside our little group) about my time spent with Gary. They (meaning James and Sirius) would get pissed, I knew.

Today, we'd see who was right: James or Lily. It was October now, meaning time for the games to start. Today was the first Quidditch game of the year, and it was Hufflepuff vs. Gryffindor.

"Where's James, Remus, and Sirius?" Tonks asked as we were walking down the stairs to the Common Room. The match started in about an hour.

"What time is it?" I asked.

Lily looked at her watch. "Seven forty-eight."

"Figures. I'll catch you guys in the Great Hall, okay? I didn't know I had to mother those three." Tonks and Lily laughed.

"Good luck getting them up," Tonks said.

"Thanks. I'll need it." I jogged back up the stairs and stopped in front of the Marauders' door, wondering if I should knock or not. Figuring they wouldn't hear me anyways, I went on in.

It was completely dark; the curtains let in absolutely no light at all. I heard four people snoring (one extremely loud), so I knew they were all here. I stepped forward and hit my shin against something. It whimpered and let out an even louder snore (if possible). Looking down, I saw Peter lounged out on the floor. Sighing, I stepped over him and stood over someone. I checked to make sure it was him, and then tipped his mattress over, with him still on it. There was a big crash and James and Remus sat up quickly, looking around. Peter yelled out and there was another crash, probably him running into something.

"Ow! What the hell just happened?" Sirius demanded, his voice muffled. I stifled a laugh, sitting down soundlessly on his bed so I could see them. It worked. "Prongs! Did you…"

"Don't blame me, mate. I just woke up," James said in a startled voice.

"Moon—"

"I thought it was Peter sleep walking again," Remus said equally startled, looking around slowly for any sign of an intruder.

"We all know Wormtail didn't do it. You must've just rolled over or something," James said.

"Oh yeah, because I always roll off my bed and take the whole damn mattress with me," Sirius grumbled, standing up, rubbing his head. He picked up the mattress and turned to put it back on the bed, and jumped, yelling, "Oh gods!" He stumbled over the bedside table and fell on top of James, who yelled out,

"Shit Padfoot! Get the hell off me!"

"Now what is it Padfoot?" Remus asked, stretching.

"Nike!"

"What?" James and Remus said at the same time. I grinned.

"She—"

"Man, don't tell me you dreamed about her again," James said.

"He dreams about me? Is that a good or bad thing?" I asked. They both jumped and Peter started screaming shrilly. "Is that really necessary Wormtail?" I asked, looking over at the closet he'd just hidden in.

"What are you doing here?" Sirius demanded.

"Padfoot! Be nice!" Remus said. "She didn't do anything."

"Except shove me out of my bed and wake me up before eight."

James grinned. "Nice. See? I always knew I respected you."

Sirius stood up and looked down at me. "Can I ask why you did that?"

"It's time to get up."

"Says who?"

"Me, of course."

He sat down next to me and glanced at James and Remus. "Why does it seem like she's in charge of us?"

"Umm…maybe because she is," Remus said.

"Not of me," Sirius muttered. To prove his point, he laid back down and fell back asleep.

"Jerk," I said.

"Thank you," he mumbled in his sleep.

Remus and James laughed. "Good luck getting him up until he wants to," James said, standing up and stretching.

"We've never succeed," Remus added. "Hey, are you in your Quidditch robes?"

"Yeah. That's why I woke you guys up. The match is in forty-five minutes."

"I hate it when we have games so early in the morning on a weekend," James complained, getting his Quidditch stuff.

"Obviously so does he."

James snorted. "Sometimes you could swear me and him are twins."

"I've thought that before. Have you Moony?"

Remus smiled at me. "When do I not?"

"Let's see…how to get a Sirius out of bed…"

"Yeah, he's not gonna believe it. You're sitting on his bed next to him, and he's asleep." James was grinning.

"Do I even want to know? You weren't kidding when you said I'm in his dreams, were you?"

"Nope. Isn't he in yours?"

James and Remus laughed. Apparently my expression gave them the answer.

"Well, not exactly. You all are in them…just not the way you think."

"Lighten up some Nik. We don't mean anything. Remus and I have had dreams with you in them too. We just tease Padfoot because he had one dream about you, and it wasn't a good one. You were actually saving him from his—" James stopped.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Remus?"

"His family," Remus said. "Anyways, how are you going to…"

"I think I'll throw him out the window."

James and Remus just stared at me.

"What? You don't think I will?"

Silence.

"Fine. I'll prove it." I got my wand out of my robes and pointed it at Sirius and said, "Wingardium Leviosa." I swished the wand, and then flicked it, and Sirius rose into the air. I walked over to the window and opened it. As soon as the cool air of outside hit his face, Sirius snapped awake.

"What's going on here?" He opened his eyes, and panicked. "Prongs! Moony!" he yelled. "Help me!"

I stuck my head out the window and grinned. "Morning sleepy head. Rise and shine, it's a beautiful day outside."

He glared at me. "Put. Me. Down. Now."

I shrugged. "If you wish. But, may I say, that's a long drop."

"Inside."

"Are you going to stay awake?"

"Probably not."

"Well since you're being honest with me, I'll be honest with you. You fall back asleep; I'll let you fall to your death without a second thought on it."

"I don't doubt that."

"Is sleep really worth it?"

"I guess not."

"That's what I thought."

"Put me down Nike. Please?"

"Oh, alright. But only since you asked so nicely." I put him back inside and closed the window.

"You're a crazed lunatic, you know that, right?" Sirius asked.

"Yep. I sure am."

"Good. That's another thing I like about you though." He smiled, and then glared at James when he snickered.

"She isn't going to be your alarm every morning, is she Padfoot?" Remus asked, his voice sounding too innocent.

Sirius rolled his eyes at his friends. "I didn't plan this. Ask her."

They looked at me, eyes sparkling with mischief.

"Definitely. This is the highlight of my day." They started to laugh while Sirius sighed.

"Great. That means I have to get used to you," he muttered.

"Not possible Padfoot," I said as I walked to the door. I stepped outside, and then looked back at the three. "If you're not sitting next to me in the Great Hall in five minutes, I'm hurting you. All of you." James, Remus, and Sirius nodded quickly while Peter started screaming again. "Except for Wormtail, of course. He's excused."

I walked away to the sound of laughing and Peter's muttered "Thank you! Thank you!"

The Marauders were literately in the Great Hall and sitting right beside me just five minutes afterwards. I'd filled Lily and Tonks in, and they were getting a kick out of it. No doubt they couldn't wait to tease them about it.

"Sirius," Lily started. "You poor soul. That mean Nike likes to use your fear of heights against you."

"Ha-ha Evans," Sirius grumbled.

"And how dare she disturb your slumber!" Tonks said. "It's just plain cruel to wake a man up before eight!"

"But then…we aren't dealing with a man, are we?" Lily asked Tonks.

Tonks looked Sirius over. "Nope. We're dealing with a sorry little child."

James and Remus laughed while Sirius punched me lightly.

"You get a kick out of bullying helpless little kids, don't you?" he asked me.

"Only if their name is Sirius Black," I replied.

"Ah, but my name isn't just Sirius Black," he argued. "It's Sirius Orion Bla—" he stopped.

"Uh-oh! The secret's out!" James exclaimed.

"The mystery has been solved!" Remus agreed.

"Sirius has finally revealed his middle name!" they said together.

"I'm gonna start calling you Orion," Tonks said. "Or…SOB." Everyone laughed except for Sirius.

"I hate you, you know that?" Sirius told me. "Somehow I end up telling you everything."

"Everything?" Tonks asked.

"Really?" Lily asked. "What have you done to this Son Of a Bitch, Nik?" Everyone at the table laughed.

"Oh I'm telling!" he said in a higher-pitched voice. "Teacher! Teacher! The perfect Lily Evans just cussed at me!"

"Shut-up and stuff your face," Tonks said.

"Oh, wow," I said, turning back to my breakfast. It was quiet for a minute while everyone ate. Actually, Sirius was just staring at the wall grumpily and James was picking at his food, not eating any of it.

"Nike," Tonks said in a tattle-tail tone. "I think you have to mother them again."

"Eat," I said. "There's nothing to be nervous about James. You said it yourself: we've got the game in 'Merlin's purse'." I glanced at Peter, who blushed and hid his face. "And Sirius, you'll eat or after the game I'll find a way for you to take a Bludger to the head." I looked at Remus, who was eating with an amused look in his eyes. "Good boy Remus," I said.

"I try," Remus replied. Sirius and James exchanged glances, and then started to eat.

"That's better."

"Nervous?" Derek asked me as we stood under a shade part of a building. Crowds were cheering and chanting for the House they wanted to win. To say the least, Quidditch was a pretty big deal at Hogwarts.

"Not at all," I said, looking around. Clearly they all were nervous, even though James was trying to look cool and collected. I shifted the hat-type-thing that was on my head. I hated the damn thing. At the first practice I'd put up a fight against wearing it, but in the end Remus had frozen me with a spell and put it on me. Ever since then I wore it, not wanting to go against Remus again when he had his wand. That boy knew a lot of spells. Besides, he'd said that I either wore it and get take a Bludger to the head and just get knocked out, or I'd not wear it and take a Bludger to the head and die. Hence why I now wore it.

"She's insane," Sirius said from behind me. "She's not at all normal like the rest of us."

Derek's eyes narrowed. "Of course you'd know that."

"Yeah, I would." Sirius had a bad habit of always interrupting any conversation that I had with Derek, which always caused them to argue.

"Get along you two," I snapped. "We need to be a team today. Do you understand?"

Both of them looked at me and muttered, "Yes."

"Okay you guys!" James said loudly. "It's time. Play your best. Don't shame Gryffindor, bring pride to it. Let's go." We all picked up our brooms and walked out of there and onto the Quidditch field and came face to face with the other team. Their team captain, a fifth year boy named Almaert Finlay, stepped forward and shook hands with James. Adda stood next to them with one hand on her hip and the other on her broom, with one foot planted firmly on a brown box that was vibrating violently. And, as usual, she had a smirk on her face and a whistle in her mouth.

"Alright," Adda said loudly and clearly, dropping the whistle so it hung limply around her neck. "Good luck to all of you and may the best team come out on top!" Even though I knew she liked our House, I knew she held no favorites. This would be an extremely fairly called game. Adda had this wild gleam in her eye, like she couldn't wait for the action to start, as if she had waited long enough already.

"Mount your brooms," she said. We all did as we were told. Adda blew her whistle and we all flew into the air when she threw the Quaffle up. She released the other balls, and the game began. I sped down to the goals I'd be protecting, and then heard Tonks' voice, which was five times her normal volume (which is saying something, mind you).

"The Quaffle is taken as soon as it hits the air by Gryffindor's Chaser, Amata Capaldi, who is actually pretty good, which of course surprised me. I mean, who knew that girl—"

"Tonks," Professor McGonagall's voice warned. "Don't start this year."

"Right," Tonks said, and she was back on track. "Capaldi passes to Redgrave, who catches it just before Hufflepuff's Chaser from last year, Michel Anton, does. Nice girl! Keep it up!" I rolled my eyes at Tonks. She was good at this commentary stuff.

"Gryffindor rapidly approaches Hufflepuff's goals. Redgrave passes to Farr, he shoots, and—Oh! Take that Derek Farr! Hufflepuff's Keeper Alec Haigh, bless his hot little soul, makes a nice catch and launches it ten feet down the field to Amy Dehn. Dang man, you've got quite the arm—"

"We don't need to hear you fanaticize about men, Tonks," Professor McGonagall snapped.

"I'm not really fanaticizing about him, Professor. I'm just letting him know what I think. Anyways you Quidditch fans…Dehn speeds down the field, dodges a Bludger—hey! Maltby! She's on your team, man! Anyways, Dehn's getting closer, she passes to Landis, who thinks he can score on the best Keeper in the world—"

"TONKS!" Professor McGonagall yelled.

"What? It's the truth! He must know his good looks won't faze her 'cause she's not his type and all that crap, and she's too good for that—" There was a rustling sound, and then a loud screech.

"Fine," Tonks said. "Landis shoots, and he—oh! Beat that sucker! Gryffindor's very own Nike has made an astonishing feat! She dove fifteen feet down and caught the Quaffle seconds before it entered the goal! That's my girl!"

"TONKS! Do I need to take your job?" Professor McGonagall demanded. I smiled and tossed the Quaffle down the field over the heads of the Hufflepuffs to Jean, who took off.

"Redgrave passes to Capaldi, who passes it back to Redgrave, who passes to Farr, who passes to Capaldi who shoots and…GRYFFINDOR SCORES!" Cheering came from the Gryffindors and half of the Ravenclaws and some of the Hufflepuffs.

"Hufflepuff has possession again. The three Chasers are zooming down the field, passing back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and back and for—"

"We get it Tonks!" Sirius yelled, hitting a Bludger at Amy Dehn, who currently held the Quaffle.

"Ouch! Dehn gets hit in the hands by a Bludger that Gryffindor's own idiotic Sirius Black, who, may I throw out, Gryffindor isn't proud of him, hit, and she drops the Quaffle, which is retrieved by Farr. Uh-oh. Here comes a Bludger hit by Hufflepuff's team captain Almaert Finlay. Farr's broom is struck and Hufflepuff gets the Quaffle. Ha! Learn how to move Farr!" In case you couldn't tell, Tonks didn't always make sense when she spoke.

"That's enough Tonks," McGonagall warned.

"Hufflepuff approaches the goals, Anton shoots–you're not gonna make it boy–and…I told you! Nike has caught it again! Nothing's ever gonna get past her, so keep dreaming boy!"

"TON—" McGonagall started.

"Hey? Was that the Snitch?" Tonks asked. "Gryffindor's Seeker, James Potter, who I'm surprised can fly with that big fat arrogant dim-witted head of his—"

"I'm warning you Tonks!"

"He's off after a glint of gold! He's getting closer, and closer and closer—oh! Nice block by Gryffindor's Beater Remus Lupin! He just saved you butt Potter! Potter reaches out…and he…POTTER'S GOT THE SNITCH! GRYFFINDOR WINS! I am oh-so smart! BE READY TO PAY UP MALFOY!"

We all came to the ground to the sound of deafening cheers. James had his hand in the air with the Snitch in his grasp, grinning like a fool.

That night Gryffindor threw a celebration in the Common Room. James, of course, was the center of attention, with Sirius right at his side. Flocks of people were surrounding them, saying and doing god-knows-what.

Lily, Tonks, Remus (who Tonks had grown to like and Lily'd become closer to), and I were alone next to the fireplace. Lily was in an armchair, glaring, while Tonks and Remus sat on a couch talking about Tonks' awesome commentary. I was leaning against the fireplace, watching the adoring crowd humorously. James was going to get an earful from Lily for hanging out with a whole bunch of girls. You could tell Lily was jealous, and that James was only flirting with those girls to fuel her jealousy. Just like Lily did when she talked to the other team captains.

"That brainless git!" Lily said suddenly. Remus and Tonks paused in their conversation.

"There's nothing to worry about Lily," Remus said, glancing in James' direction with a comical look reflected in his gaze. His eyes widened and the look went more serious, more…angry? "Umm…Nike?"

"What?"

"You and Sirius aren't—"

"No Remus. How many times must I say that? But thanks for checking."

"Why?" Tonks asked, looking over Remus' shoulder. "Well well well. I told you he was a player." I didn't bother to look.

Lily got to her feet and started to walk towards them.

"Lily? What are you doing?" Remus asked.

"I'm going to teach him a lesson. Come on Tonks." Tonks hopped up and skipped over to Lily. They disappeared into the crowd of people.

"What are they up to?" Remus asked me.

"I don't know," I replied. "But I'm sure we'll find out soon."

And we didn't have long to wait. All the lights went out and there was a complete silence. People started to panic. A spotlight turned on and was focused on the bottom of the stairs behind me. Everyone turned and saw Lily and Tonks standing in front of a maroon and gold curtain that hadn't been there before.

"And now presenting—" Lily said.

"—the stars and heartthrobs of Gryffindor—" Tonks added.

"—Jamie and Selene!" they said in unison, both pointing their wands at the curtain, making it disappear. They stepped out of the way and revealed…

"OH. MY. GODS," a fourth year girl said. I laughed loudly and Remus, Amata, Jean, Derek, and two others I couldn't locate joined in. But that was it. Sheesh. These people had no sense of humor what-so-ever.

James, or "Jamie", was dressed in an knee length bright pink strapless dress that shimmered in the light. He wore five inch heels that were shiny and equally as bright and pink as his dress. Pink make-up covered his face in an artful way and he had sparkles all over his face and down his arms and chest. His normal untidy black hair had grown waist length and was very contained and perfectly straight, with pink barrettes decorating his hair. His circular black glasses had turned rectangular and a dark and very noticeable pink. They left most of his masculine look though; so James made a very hideous girl.

Sirius, or "Selene", had on a short halter-top emerald and silver dress that seemed to glow. He, too, had on five inch heels, except his were silver. He had on dark green make-up and silver sparkles. The only thing different with his hair was that it had gotten curlier and half of it fell over his shoulders to mid-arm's length and half was fastened in a ponytail with an emerald barrette. He, too, had his masculine and definitely not a feminine look.

After you got over the hideousness of the mixed sexes look, it suited them rather well, if you asked me.

"Hey Jamie!" Remus yelled. "Pink is your color. You should wear it more often." James/Jamie glared and opened his/her mouth to say something, but was cut off by Derek.

"Finally your appearance reflects your nature Selene!"

Sirius/Selene smiled good naturedly, but I knew he was ticked off. "You like it?"

"Oh yeah, totally," Jean called, snickering. "You look hot, ladies."

"Is this your new look?" I asked, moving next to them so I could get a better look at Lily and Tonks' artwork.

"Probably—" James started to say.

"That's what I thought," I said. I turned to Sirius. "You know what Selene?"

"What?" he said hesitantly, eyes saying he wasn't sure he trusted me.

"That shade really brings out your eyes. You should wear it more often."

"I'm glad you noticed. I was starting to think this had all happened in vain," he replied.

"Not possible."

"Hey Lily?" James/Jamie said.

Lily had an evil smile on her face, which scared me. This was Lily, and she was grinning like a madman!

"Yes Jamie dear?"

"Can you change us back now?"

"No."

"Why?" he demanded.

"Have you learned anything?"

"Yes," Sirius/Selene said. "Heels kill your feet! How can you girls stand—let alone walk!—in these?"

"It's a special talent that only a select few of us have," Tonks said.

"Well you two, it seems, are stuck like this. Sorry," Lily said, shrugging. She walked out of the Common Room with Tonks and Remus right behind her. The lights flipped back on and the Gryffindors separated, talking and laughing amongst themselves.

James/Jamie and Sirius/Selene turned to me.

"She's not serious, is she?" James asked.

"Until you give her the right answer, yes. Yes she is," I replied. "You should be happy though Sirius—I mean Selene. You said once you were trying to think like a girl, so this is the perfect opportunity for you."

"It's like a dream come true," he said sarcastically.

"It's funny how things turn out. But I can't believe you brought poor James—I mean Jamie, into this! Unless…did you want to be a girl too Jamie? Ooooo! Did you two want to be a couple? That's it! Too bad James isn't still the guy. I mean, Sirius already looked like a girl, so I thought you guys were set."

James and Sirius both gave me a look that said "You're about to get it."

"I was trying to be thoughtful," Sirius said through clenched teeth.

"So you didn't do this to be with each other? Oh, okay. I guess you two are worried about being attractive, huh? Let me tell you this; there's some other guys that I know—" and that was all I got out before I took off running out of the Common Room, laughing. I glanced over my shoulder and saw they were pursuing me, but very slowly. After all, it was hard for them to run in five inch heels and skin-tight dresses.

A/N: ! I LOVE this chapter! It's a two in one! Quidditch AND completely embarrassing Padfoot and Prongs! Yay! I hope you guys loved it as much as I did. I found it truly hilarious! And you know what? I can't even remember how I came up with the idea…whether it was myself who thought of it or one of my friends…hmm… But nonetheless, I hoped you enjoyed it.

Next chapter: You will get to see how they "adjust" to their new selves.

Let me know what you thought my lovely people!

Nike

P.S. Oh, yeah, umm…I need help from someone or all of you… Is Gary and Nike's friendship turning out okay? I'm not sure if it seems stupid how things are turning out and when and how their meetings are…but I'd already written all of this before I had decided that I should put in another guy that would have a major part in a following book after this in many ways… So if you guys have any ideas or questions or remarks that will make this flow along better, please let me know! I really need the help! :|