Hello everyone!
As always, thank you for reading. Your support means a lot to me. I'm happy when I receive a notification that this story has been alerted or that someone reviewed it.
So the last chapter didn't have Klaine interaction but that will be compensated by this one. I do believe this chapter is one that is kind of long awaited by everyone, and it will be of crucial importance for the development of the plot of the story. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, nor do I own anything you may recognize.
After the two brothers talked and decided to mend their relationship as brothers, they stayed a long time in the dining room catching up on the past six years of their lives. They talked about anything and everything that had happened during their time apart. Kurt spoke about his job, his experience in Paris, relayed fun stories about his numerous vacations around Europe. And each new story he would tell, Finn would listen closely, interrupting at various times to question the name, make some awed comments and ask him to elaborate. And in turn, Finn told his brother of what was happening in his life, the life he was building with Rachel, his job. The two talked for what felt like minutes, but was in reality hours. The two were soon interacting as brothers once again, and they were ecstatic to finally be reunited. Kurt would admit that he was wary at first of reconnecting with his step-brother, someone that hurt him so much in the past, but now he couldn't be happier that he did. This Thanksgiving was surely to be remembered.
They were only interrupted when Carole and Burt announced their presence. The parents were standing in the doorway, looking shocked at seeing their sons interacting so easily with one another. Carole to be almost bursting in happiness at seeing them, and so was Burt, even though he tried to hide it. Those years in which the two were estranged were hard on the parents. Both Burt and Carole wanted nothing more than to have Kurt and Finn talking again.
"Hey, Finn, can you help Blaine with the groceries? I already asked him to help unload the truck. There are a lot of bags. And lots of food, too." Carole asked her son, her voice still betraying her shock and joy of seeing them both together and talking like old times.
At the mention of food, Finn immediately got up and left the room, heading out towards the car, something that amused the three other occupants of the room. Finn may be older, but food still caught his attention like nothing else. Some things never really changed. Kurt smiled after him fondly, but turned towards his dad when he called for his attention. Carole had disappeared into the kitchen.
Burt was leaning of the frame, frowning slightly at the scene he had just witnessed, but smiling nonetheless. He knew his sons had some kind of fight that left them estranged, but he never learned the particulars nor had he known that they had started talking again, yet here they were talking like old buddies.
"When did this happen?" his dad asked, montioning between him and out the door to where Finn was.
Kurt sighed. "Right now, actually. We talked everything out, well not everything, but enough to start mending our relationship as brothers. We decided that it has been too long, and that it was time to put the past behind us and move on."
His dad nodded, considering this as he added. "I'm mending things with Rachel as well. Actually, she was the one who insisted I talk things out with Finn. Being Thanksgiving and all...and now that I'm actually back in US, I guess it will be easier to mend things, and we will probably meet a lot more, so it does makes things a lot less awkward too."
Burt nodded again and coughed, hesitating to ask his next question. Just by watching his dad's face, Kurt already had an idea of what was coming.
"Are you...hum...are you and Blaine mending things too? Talking things out?" He asked awkwardly.
He always wished the two would get back together. He loved Blaine, and one of those who most lamented the end of Kurt and Blaine's relationship was Burt. Blaine had always been like a third son to him, ever since their teenage years before they had gotten together and he couldn't wish for someone better for his son.
"Dad!" Kurt squeaked, eyes wide and blushing bright red, before turning his gaze to the floor. "But to answer your question, no. We have a lot to talk about still to even thing about mending things. I know we do, we can't properly move on if we don't. It's been six years, but we haven't exactly had any closure of that night. Shocking, right? So, no, we didn't talk yet. But we will, eventually, sometime soon I hope. We have to, for both our sakes. If we don't it would make things extremely tense once we are back in New York and hanging out with our friends in a semi-regular basis."
"But you guys seemed to be getting along well during this past couple months. At least from what I've gathered from both of you. It seems like you've been meeting quite often and conversation has been flowing." His dad said, still leaning against the door frame, an inquisitive look in his face.
The designer sighed. "We are getting along just fine, but we also haven't breached any topics related to the break up. It's mostly as if we were two people forming a new friendship. Talking about everyday life, without venturing to personal subjects. Whenever topic comes even remotely close to that period, things between us get tense and uncomfortable.
Burt sighed uncrossing his arms. "Look, kiddo. I'm not telling you how to live your life, but if you want to know. You are both the happiest I've ever seen you when you are together." He said walking into the room, approaching his son.
"I am happy dad. I haven't been unhappy without him, except for the first few months following the break up, during which I was pretty close to miserable." Kurt said petulantly.
"I know you are happy, kiddo. Didn't say you weren't. Just saying that you are always happier whenever you are with him. Don't forget I've known you for thirty-one years. And I have a pretty good memory for a sixty year old" His dad joked.
Kurt sighed and nodded in defeat. He couldn't deny that. And he didn't want to deny it. If he was being honest with himself, he did want to start everything over with Blaine.
"Dad...when did you become such a good advice giver?" He asked smiling, looking shyly up at his father.
"I learned from the best. Come here, kiddo. Give your old man a hug."
As Kurt hugged his dad, he heard his dad whisper in his hair while rubbing his back soothingly. "Don't worry too much, son. You two will talk it out eventually. It will be alright. Everything will work out in the end."
Kurt nodded mumbling a thank you into his dad's shirt. Even though he was thirty-one, completely independent, had his own life, his dad was still his rock. His dad was still the person he ran to whenever he needed advice or words of wisdom. Their moment was broken when Finn and Blaine came tumbling in, arms loaded in groceries.
"Where do we put t- oh, sorry. Didn't see you guys there." Blaine stopped mid sentence once he spotted his ex-boyfriend having what seemed like an intimate and private moment with his father.
Kurt let go of his dad and smiled slightly in Blaine's direction. "No problem, Blaine. You weren't interrupting anything." He said softly.
The two stayed frozen on their spot staring at the other for a few minutes until Burt gave them a little push and a knowing look.
"Here Blaine, let me take these. I think we are out of onions. I don't think Carole remembered to buy them. Hey Kurt? Can you go buy some more? But that store we usually bought these type of things closed. Blaine knows where to find. He can go with you." With that he grabbed the bags Blaine had in his arms, waving off their protests and motioned to the door as if to say 'go, get out of here'.
Having no other choice, the two grabbed their coats off the hook in the entrance hall and wandered outside, knowing that it wasn't really about the onions, instead being about giving them some alone time to think and talk things out. Burt hadn't been very subtle. They walked down the block in silence for a few minutes until Kurt addressed Blaine, without tearing his gaze from the sidewalk.
"So, where exactly do you want to have this talk? You know we can't avoid it forever."
Blaine sighed quietly "I know we have to talk sooner or later. Doesn't mean I have to want it or be prepared. But it has to be done, so I suggest the park? It's quiet enough that no one will disturb us, but still public that will force us to keep our voice down, if it comes to that, but hopefully it won't."
Kurt thought for a minute before nodding. "Yeah...good idea. There's no way we can know how it will go. Though I'm hoping for a smooth talk, it's really unpredictable. The park it is."
The duo walked in comfortable silence the rest of the way until they reached the park. It was a nice day out, and the park wasn't full, with only scattered people walking aimlessly around and a couple of children playing in the playground. In an unspoken agreement, they both headed towards a big tree in the corner, underneath which they had talked about what they were and decided to be boyfriends all those years ago, and one year later where they spoke about their future together and the lives they were going to live once they reached New York. Underneath that tree they seemed to make big decisions together, concerning their relationship, so it was only logical that they have this talk under the same tree.
The two sat down, gazing around, avoiding eye contact for a few minutes until Kurt finally broke the silence that had enveloped them.
"So…" Kurt started at the same time that Blaine said,
"Look Kurt –" Blaine stopped and chuckled. "You first."
Kurt paused for a few moments before opening his mouth to speak, letting out an unbelievable laugh. "To tell the truth, I have no idea where to start from, or what to say right now. I played this scenario in head for so long, and now I have no idea what to do."
"Me neither. But we have to get this talk over with at some point. And by this talk, I mean cover everything, beginning with six years ago and our breakup." Blaine winced when he said this last part, his voice having grown soft and low. "I really think this talk is long overdue."
Kurt groaned beside him, not wanting to relive those memories again, but knowing there was no way they could move on without having that out of the way. It was a subject that, frankly, they should have breached long ago.
"God, those first months after our breakup were hell. I don't know how I kept on functioning." Kurt suddenly said, breaking the awkward silence. Blaine looked up from where he was looking at his lap and nodded solemnly. "Sometimes, I still can't believe that we, us, didn't work out. Back then, it was something I would never have even considered, couldn't even fathom happening."
"But it happened. And there is nothing we can do about it." Blaine snapped a bit more harshly then intended, but quickly backtracked when he saw hurt immediately cross Kurt's features. "Sorry, sorry. I didn't mean to snap. It's just this subject is still a sore spot for me to breach, even if it has been literally years since that day." Kurt's eyes softened a little in understanding, but he still looked guarded. "It's just that, every time I think back to it, I can't help but think that we did a huge mistake. There were so many things we could have done to mend our relationship before it was too late. Not fighting for us will always be my greatest regret ever, Kurt." Blaine told Kurt, tears already making their way down his cheeks, hazel eyes earnest. Kurt wasn't succeeding in keeping his tears at bay either.
"Mine too, Blaine. Mine too." The glasz eyed man admitted softly. "But although we can't keep talking about the what ifs, I think we do have to talk what happened during the months leading to our break up. Why and how did we even reach a point where we were aiming to hurt the other? Communication used to be the key of us, and yet I felt as if I hardly knew you during our last months together as a couple." His eyes were pleading for Blaine to provide an answer that not even he knew.
Blaine sighed, taking a deep breath before starting talking. "I sincerely don't know Kurt. Can't say I was aiming to hurt you, as you put it, but I admit I wasn't putting a huge effort into please you either. And I know that at some point near the end we did seem to bring each other more pain than happiness. The way we were living, avoiding each other, snapping at each other every few sentences, it was hell. There was no way we could go on like that. I don't know when we stopped voicing our thoughts, but had we continued what we were doing, we would have eventually parted ways, and I'm sure it would have been in a lot worse circumstances, that would probably make us hate and resent each other for life."
Kurt nodded and sighed, knowing at what Blaine was hinting. They were both men, and living in the atmosphere they were living with, it had been months since they had last been intimate. Fights usually ended with one storming out and returning to sleep in the couch, and icy glares being directed the other's way whenever they were in the same room afterwards. And when they were at the point or perhaps forgiving and forgetting, they were at each other's throats again, for completely different reasons.
"Of course I would have preferred, thousand times over, if our break up hadn't happened. If we hadn't ended things for good, but instead maybe took a break and sort things out. But it did happen, and in a way I'm happy it did the way it did. We kind of came to a mutual agreement at the time, even though every part of my body seemed to be screaming at me not to pull the plug. And I think the way we handled it was actually pretty mature; it did allow us to meet and talk to each civilly the year following it and we inevitably had to hang out."
Blaine suddenly looked up, his eyes searching. "You just said that you didn't want to end things for good. Why did you, then? I was willing to sit at talk everything out. You know, lay everything in the open, talk all our differences out. Try to understand how we had gotten there in the first place. But you seemed so defeated and the way you said it…it just seemed so final. I thought you were completely done with us and our relationship."
Kurt gave a humorless laugh through his tears. "I know. I know. I was an idiot. I was just so fed up by it all. The constant avoidance, fighting, petty arguments. It was going on for months, it just seemed that we reached rock bottom, with no turning back. I thought I was doing the right thing at the time. Putting us both out of our misery. We were both so on edge, the tension had been building up slowly for months. It just felt like the end. We both weren't happy. I thought we'd be happier if we just admitted it was over. Turns out it was the worst fucking mistake I've ever made, and I'll always regret not having faith in us and basically throwing away eight years of our life." Kurt was openly sobbing at the end of his speech, bawling into his hands.
Blaine gently turned Kurt's head toward him, a hopeful glint in his eye. "So we basically agree that making the decision of being over for good at the time was a mistake, and we both regret it?" Kurt nodded, a little confused at where this was heading. "Okay, that's good. Great, actually. And just so you know, every part of me was screaming at me to chase after you, once you stepped out the door, too. And it wasn't just you who gave up. It takes two to tango, you know?" Blaine contemplated the spoken words for a minute before adding. "And you didn't throw away eight years of our lives together, at least it didn't feel like it. We just met a point of no turning back at the time, or so we thought, but I'll forever cherish every single memory we made together during our eight years together and nearly a decade of being best friends."
Kurt let out a breathy laugh and smiled warmly in Blaine's direction. "So will, I, Blaine. I couldn't forget your friendship, or you for that matter, even I wanted."
They both sat in silence for minutes, absorbing everything that had been said. One occasionally sniffling, tears streaming down both their faces. Looking back they both realized that they could have handled it all a lot better, if they communicated more. And they both also realized that they could have spared years of not being entirely happy if only one had the courage to approach the other to talk. They could have had this talk a long time ago, and the outcomes would surely have been a lot better than what it actually was. They both now knew that neither wanted to actually break up for good at the time, and if only one had spoken up six years ago, they would probably be living their happily ever after at the moment. But not everything is a fairytale, and there was one more thing about that evening that still bothered Blaine to no end, and as they were talking now, it was better to get this out of his mind now.
"Kurt?" Kurt hummed in acknowledgement. "Can I ask you something? It's something that has been bothering me for the last six years for some reason."
Kurt tensed and turned to give Blaine his full attention. "Of course you can. Isn't this what this talk is for? Clear everything out, so we can start over with a new, clean, slate?"
Blaine took a deep breath before speaking, dreading the answer, but at the same time knowing that it had probably been just the heat of the moment and Kurt's emotions getting the best of him.
"Did you really fall out of love with me towards the end of our relationship?" Kurt looked confused for a moment so Blaine elaborated. "Near the end of our talk that night, something you said that evening that made me sure that it was all certainly over, with no turning back. You said that you still loved me, but you also kind of implied that you weren't in love with me anymore."
Realization dawned on Kurt's face as the words he said that night came back to him. Just thinking of those made him sick and he started crying all over again.
"I love you too, Blaine. I just don't know if it's still the same feeling as before."
"Blaine, Blaine, no. I don't know why I said that. I seem to have said lots of stupid things then."
Blaine chuckled lightly, but not unkindly. "We both did. I thought that was established already."
Kurt continued. "I was always in love with you, since before we started dating. And every day we were together I fell even deeper in love with you. You were my world, you were my everything. Even after we parted ways, it was hard not to call you whenever I needed something. For months afterwards, I needed to stop and remind myself that we weren't together anymore and I couldn't go to you if I needed, like I've always had before. So no, don't even think for a moment that I didn't love you. That's not even remotely accurate. I loved you so much. I was still deeply in love. Many things might have changed during those last months of us together as a couple, I might have been having doubts if we were really meant to be, but one thing never, ever changed; I was always, always in love with you since day one." Kurt looked deep into Blaine's eyes as he said this, willing and needing the other man to believe his words.
The curly-haired man sighed and nodded. It was nice to actually hear Kurt say that their relationship didn't tumble because of lack of affection, but it stung to hear Kurt say that he 'loved' him, in the past tense. He knew it would take another talk and time for them to get back together, if they did, but he still had hopes that Kurt might still be in love him, despite everything that had happened. But he was happy in having his best friend back.
"Deep down I think I knew that. I never doubted your affections, not once. But what you said bothered me for reasons I can't even explain."
Kurt just shook his head. "I wasn't thinking right. I shouldn't have said it, at least not that way. I shouldn't have given you the impression that I didn't love you anymore at the time. I did, I loved so much. I think that's why it made a thousand times harder to pack my bags and leave." He paused and seemed to think his next words. "What I meant when I said that was that even though I loved you and was in love with you, something had definitely changed between us. I just phrased it wrong. Sorry."
Blaine sniffed and laughed. "I really don't know why it bothered me so much. It just did…Anyway, thank you for clearing that up, Kurt. And I meant what I said that night. You were always my best friend. Always. Many things changed in the years we were apart. But this simple fact didn't. Even though we spent over four years not speaking at all, even though we parted ways, amicably but painfully, you are still my best friend." Kurt was about to interrupt, happiness soaring through him like fire, but Blaine signaled him to wait. "And, thank you for today, Kurt. Thank you for talking with me, thank you for having this talk that was long overdue. I really hope we can start afresh now." Blaine smiled in Kurt's direction.
Kurt nodded frantically. "You've always harbored the best friend spot in my heart, ever since high school. Nothing could ever change that, Blaine. And I needed these answers just as much as you did. And I'm really glad we were able to have this talk civilly and maturely."
Kurt finished talking and the two sat there looking at each other before Blaine started saying something before hesitating and snapping his mouth shut. Kurt saw this and asked softly.
"What is it, Blaine?"
Blaine swallowed, before asking shyly. "Can I hug you? I really want to hug you right now."
Kurt laughed standing up and pulling Blaine with him, before enveloping the shorter boy in a long, tight, hug, both of them letting go of the many emotions harbored during their talk. They stood there hugging for what felt light hours, whispering to each other that it would be alright, that they would be alright until Kurt's phone chimed. Kurt groaned, withdrawing from Blaine to check his messages, before laughing and showing the text to Blaine.
From: Dad
Where are you two? Dinner is almost ready. I didn't know it took this long to buy an onion. Hurry up, and forget the onion. Finn bought them already.
Blaine glanced at it chuckled as well, glancing at his watch before a shocked expression crossed his face.
"Were we really out here for four hours?" He turned to Kurt, surprise lacing his tone. Kurt chuckled, dusting off his pants and pressing down on the creases. Over the years he became much more subdued on his dressing style, but still dressed immaculately, fussing over creases, dirt and anything that might remotely harm a fabric.
"Yeah, we were. I didn't realize it either. I guess we did have a lot to talk about after all." Kurt agreed, a softness in his tone towards the end, the kind used to be reserved for Blaine, and Blaine only. Blaine's heart raced a little hearing that tone of voice coming from Kurt and directed towards him, something he was sure would never happen again.
Blaine also dusted off his pants as started walking back towards the entrance of the park, heading towards the Hummel-Hudson household, glancing at Kurt sideways at where the chestnut haired figure had mirrored his actions. "Guess we did, and glad we did as well."
Kurt turned his gaze to the side and the two shared a soft smile, unsure of what the future held in store for them, but willing to navigate through it together, maybe not as partners, but surely as friends. They had talked and hugged it out. Everything else around them might change and come crashing down, but they knew that their friendship was something constant and that wouldn't change.
And our boys finally talk it out! Who can see reconciliation in the near future? Leave a comment below!
Thank you for reading guys! Please take your time to leave a review letting me know what you think of the story! Reviews are love and motivate me to write and update faster!
Xoxo- Julia