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Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, nor do I own anything you may recognize.
The days following the Thanksgiving debacle, were tense ones for them. The morning after Kurt's intense breakdown, the two woke up entwined together the same way they used to wake up when they were together. Kurt woke up first, still with Blaine's arms securely around him, and at first, before the awareness set in, he just lay there enjoying the feeling of being in someone's arms. Then, he tensed at the thought, thus waking up Blaine in the process. Kurt waited, still tense in Blaine's arms until the curly-haired came to his senses somewhat, as much as he could without his morning coffee. After he realized the position they were in he quickly retracted his arms and scratched at his curls instead mumbling a quick apology and hastily retreating to his own room, not before certifying that Kurt was okay after the previous night's events.
The family could sense something had gone down between the two of them, almost certain they knew what it was about, though they refrained from asking. Kurt was a lot quieter, retreated from them, and while he wasn't avoiding Blaine, the tension and happy bubble present around them after they returned from the park, disappeared. He also seemed void of emotions, face almost always blank. Blaine too seemed to keep more to himself, still speaking normally with the others, but seemingly out of politeness, his voice and semblance lacking the usual happiness it usually held. All the moments spent together before Kurt and Blaine flew back to New York seemed to almost burst from awkwardness. The other members of the family not knowing what had happened between them, seemed to be overly cautious whenever they spoke to either of the two of them, afraid of saying the wrong thing. Carole knew her husband was curious as to who Seb was, and how he fit in the story, but she sternly told him to not say anything and let Kurt or Blaine bring it up, if they thought it was of importance to let them know about this mystery person.
Needless to say, both men were overjoyed to be back to their normal routine and respective jobs in New York. Being back to their respective jobs, meant having their own space and least time to contact each other, and it also meant more distractions.
Opening up to Blaine brought back painful memories for Kurt, and while he was happy to be rebuilding his friendship with Blaine, and had admitted to wanting to maybe pursue a relationship with his first love again, having that talk with Blaine planted doubts in his mind if he was really ready to move on. And truth is, he wasn't. True, Blaine was his first love, his first boyfriend, his first in everything. He spent years worshipping the ground the other walked on and considering him in every decision he made. And he knew, deep inside, that a part of him would always love Blaine. It took him many months to even consider dating again after they broke up, and for a long time he believed he would never find love and conjugal happiness again. Then entered Sebastian. The person that showed him it was okay to love again. The person that brought color back into his life. The person that he loved more than anything for almost four years, and still loved. The person he had planned forever with. The person that became the center of his world like Blaine had once been.
It had been less than a year since Sebastian's passing. Kurt knew that, logically, he was nowhere near the point of even thinking of moving on. His breakdown during Thanksgiving when he told Blaine what happened was enough proof. He knew that there was a chance that he could be falling in love with the musician again, he wouldn't deny his feelings, but he also knew that he couldn't be with Blaine until he was over what happened with Sebastian; he could toy with neither his nor Blaine's emotions like that. He would always love Sebastian, there is no doubt there, and his ring was never leaving the chain, which would never leave his neck. But Sebastian passing was still extremely painful for him to think about, and until the pain faded, he knew he would not be able to have a healthy, true relationship with Blaine. And the last thing he wanted was to hurt Blaine more then he already had.
Being back in New York allowed Blaine and time to think. When he had first felt and seen the ring hanging from a chain around Kurt's neck he was furious. He truly believed - although deep down he knew Kurt would never do that to him -that Kurt was committed to someone else and had been leading him on during the past months. As far as he knew, Kurt wasn't dating, nor had he dated anyone seriously during the years they had spent apart. That was why it had come as a shock to him Kurt's confession that he and Sebastian had been dating for almost four years and had been engaged. It hurt to know that the man he had loved ever since he was a teenager had moved on from their eight year relationship. He never expected that Kurt would not move on from them. Kurt was a beautiful person, inside and out, and, once they broke, he knew that there would be tons of men after Kurt. He knew that the chance that Kurt would not find another person to share his life with was close to zero, and he wished that Kurt would move on and find happiness. But actually knowing the truth that the man he had once made plans of spending the rest of life with had indeed been engaged to someone else hit him like a ton of bricks, and he needed time to recover.
Blaine was happy to have his best friend back, there was no question there. He also wished that something else would come from said renewed friendship. But now that he knew the truth about Kurt's personal life, he knew he couldn't expect a relationship from Kurt. Not right now. He saw and felt Kurt's heartbreak through his eyes and tone of voice when he was telling his story. And while he wanted nothing more than to be with Kurt again, he knew there was no way Kurt would want something more right now and he knew that it would be best for them both, in the long run, if they worked on solidifying their friendship bond once more and let time heal Kurt's scars, before jumping into anything deeper. That was why when he received a text from Kurt about three weeks since their return to New York, the first attempt to contact the other either had made, he wasn't surprised.
From: Kurt
Hey Blaine! Can we meet sometime this week and talk? I believe there are some things we have to talk about, and I think the sooner we have said talk, the better. I'm sorry for taking such a long time to contact you. I had to think some things through. I'm really sorry about Thanksgiving. – K
Blaine sighed at the formality of Kurt's texts, but replied in the affirmative nonetheless, assuring him that he nothing to be sorry about. The two soon agreed at a Starbucks across from Central Park, where they could grab a coffee and walk around whilst they talked.
Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Wes and David sensed Blaine's trouble and shift of mood since his return from Ohio, and they were worried about their friend. He wasn't as down and sad as he was all those years ago, but he was obviously more detached from everything and distracted from work. The familiar spark his eye held ever since meeting Kurt, that had been missing when they broke up, and had returned once they reconnected, seemed to be missing again. He had frown lines etched across his face and he wasn't smiling like before. They knew something had happened in Ohio regarding Kurt, and they were worried about their friend.
"Blaine? Is everything okay?" The two friends cornered their other friend in his office one day, when it was there was only the three of them left in the studio.
Blaine, who was leafing through some potential artists to sign with their label, looked up curiously at his two friends.
"Yeah, everything is fine, why?" He abandoned his work and focused completely on what his friends had to say. Both Wes and David were serious and wore concerned expressions on their faces.
David moved to sit on Blaine's desk, to his left while Wes sat on the other side.
"It's just that you seem a bit down. Ever since you returned from Ohio you seem to have this sad mood around you. You aren't smiling as much as the Blaine we know, and you seem to have acquired permanent frown lines. Not to say your eyes lost that spark, and you know which spark we are talking about." David said, laying a careful and caring hand on Blaine's shoulder.
After a beat of silence, while Blaine remained silent, Wes asked softly. "Did something between you and Kurt?"
That made the trick. Blaine slumped down and sighed, and started talking. He trusted those two with his life.
"You could say that. We are fine. We talked everything out, well, not everything, but enough. Burt tricked us, although we both knew about his plan, into spending time alone so we could talk. We spoke about our break up, what we were feeling, what led to it, the night we called things off. We both agreed we said and did stupid things, and that we could and should have worked harder to save our relationship. But then, after Thanksgiving dinner, Kurt broke down. He opened up to me about some personal issues, which I will not go into detail about, and long story short, I don't think we will be advancing the friendly stage anytime soon. But we are both fine, in fact I'm meeting up with him tomorrow to talk and catch up."
Wes and David were exchanging looks while Blaine talked, quickly jumping to the conclusion that Kurt didn't want to get back with Blaine. It was clear that whatever this personal issue of Kurt's was, it had to do with Blaine admittance that they would probably not get together. And they could see that although Blaine shrugged it off as nothing, he was heartbroken inside.
"What did Kurt say, Blaine?" Wes prodded gently.
Blaine shook his head. "Kurt trusted me with it. I'm not in liberty to tell anyone else. But it wasn't anything serious." He lied.
David saw right through it. "Like hell it wasn't Blaine. You look like a kicked puppy!" Wes quickly shushed him, seeing Blaine's reaction and face contorted in sadness.
"I won't tell you guys, okay! It doesn't concern you, it concerns us, he and I. I trust you, but Kurt trusted me not to say anything until he is ready to talk, and I will not break his trust. I have never done that, and I won't start now, David!" Blaine exploded, a clear sign he was upset; he never raised his voice, much less with his friends.
David raised his hand in surrender. "Relax man! I'm not asking you to tell me. I know you would never break his trust."
Wes raised his eyebrow at Blaine's outburst, clearly knowing there was something more, something major, that Blaine wasn't letting on. But he also knew his friend, and one of the things he valued the most in his life was Kurt's trust, so he knew Blaine wasn't going to say anything unless Kurt gave permission or told them himself.
Blaine sighed and laid his head on his arms that were resting on the table. "Sorry, guys. You know how I get whenever I'm frustrated or upset. It's just that I couldn't help but feel like we were making progress, you know? We were talking quite a lot, we managed to rekindle our friendship. And we did talk it out on Thanksgiving. After we talked about what led to us parting ways all those years ago, and before he opened his heart to me, I could sense something more between us. We even slowed danced for a while up in his room after dinner." Blaine shared with his friends and they looked down at him sympathetically.
"And you really think that getting back together is out of the table for you guys? If you felt a spark, I'm sure Kurt felt it too. You are a lot more oblivious then him when it comes to this." Wes asked kindly.
"I'm sure. I'm still in love with him, but I really don't think he still feels that way towards me. I'm sure he loves me, but as in a close friend family-like way. If we ever get back together now, it won't be a long time." Blaine groaned and slouched down on his seat, letting his head fall against the back of his chair.
David and Wes noted that Blaine didn't seem too sad admitting that, not as much as they thought he would be. He was certainly a lot more composed then he was when he first talked about a possible reconciliation all those months ago, right before Kurt moved back to New York. So they knew they needn't be too worried about their friend, but they had a hunch that if Blaine seemed sad about Thanksgiving events, Kurt must be too as well. And judging by the fact that neither had any news from Kurt since they returned from Ohio, it was pretty obvious that Kurt wanted some time for himself, seeing as they never went more than a few days without having some sort of contact. It was then decided, they would try and talk to Kurt to see what was going on, as Blaine – and they understood why – wouldn't let them in on whatever had transpired between the two of them.
Later that night Wes was over at David's. They were logged on Skype and when they saw that the designer was online they wasted no time in video-calling him. To their surprise, Kurt answered on the second ring, his face soon appearing on the screen.
"Hey David." Kurt waved and his gaze soon flickered to the person seating by David's side. "And, hey, Wes. What do I own the pleasure of this Skype call?" He calmly asked, a small smile gracing his lips.
Wes didn't lose time. "Any explanation as to why both David and I haven't heard from our favorite counternor since his return from Lima, Ohio?" He asked demandingly, while David threw in his best puppy dog pout he could muster.
"Yeah, Kurt, I'm hurt. We are both hurt." David chimed in in a fake whiny voice, still pouting.
Kurt chuckled and sighed. "Sorry guys. I haven't forgotten about you if you are wondering. It's just, some stuff happened and I needed some time to think things through. And I've been pretty busy. Even though Fashion Week is a couple of months still, preparations are already in full swing."
Wes still wasn't letting go. "Not an excuse to for us to hear from you Hummel. Even when you were in Paris we talked more often."
Kurt hung his head a little and pouted at Wes through the monitor screen. "Sorry, Wes. I promise I will try to at least text one of you, if not both, every day. Please forgive me for my lack of attention bestowed upon you?"
David and Wes stared at the screen where Kurt remained pouting, a picture of innocence, until the three broke out laughing simultaneously.
"Okay, okay, I forgive you. How can anyone say no to that face?" Wes gasped out between chuckled.
Kurt beamed at Wes before his expression returned to normal. "But seriously, any reason you guys called today, or did you just want to check on me to see if I'm still alive? And if the latter is the case, I'm sure Blaine would know the answer. I texted him earlier this week to see if we could meet up sometime this week."
Wes and David expression's turned serious, and they exchanged a glance that had Kurt groaning already, knowing what was coming.
"Actually that is exactly why we are calling. Apart from the fact that we want to know why you've been so distant lately. And coupled by what Blaine had to say when we asked him how was Ohio, we believe one is related to the other."
"What did Blaine say?" Kurt asked after a while.
David motioned towards Wes who recounted their talk, how Blaine had said they talked things regarding their break up but that other things had arisen which he wasn't in liberty to share, leaving out the part that Blaine thought that the chance of them getting back together was low.
Kurt listened in silence while Wes talked, head cocked to the side, a neutral expression on his face.
"Yeah. We did talk everything out, spent hours talking too. I'm sure there are still some issues that we have to crease out, but the core of what needed to be done is done. I think we can now properly rekindle our close friendship we had before everything fell apart, for real this time. We were becoming friends again, but it was still kind of weird having talks that were off limits between us. I really think we have nothing to hide anymore."
David took over this time. "We are happy you guys are seemingly getting along well again, and it's good to see your friendship returning to what it once was. I, for one, have always admired the bond you too shared. But Kurt, what got us a bit curious, was what Blaine said about the talk you two had after Thanksgiving dinner. He said he wasn't in liberty to share, not his story to tell. But he hasn't been himself this past weeks, and from what we could gather whatever you said got him upset."
Something shifted in Kurt's eyes, and he opened his mouth, but before he could speak, Wes chimed in. "We are not trying to pry information from you, Kurt. But you are one of our closest friends, and the way Blaine was upset led us to believe that this talk probably wasn't easy on you either, which made us decided to call you tonight to check in on you. You don't have to tell us, fi it's too personal, but we'd like to help. I can see in your eyes you are a bit down yourself, and it's not you to spend weeks without contacting your friends. I know you didn't contact Nick, Jeff, Santana or Brittany either."
Kurt sighed. "It's complicated guys; and a long story. But, basically I told Blaine what I should have told you all a long time ago. Something that shouldn't have been kept a secret from my family and closest friends, and considering the way things were advancing rapidly between Blaine and I, something that I had to tell him. And it's something that will affect how our relationship will develop from here, whether we remain just friends, or advance to something more. Question is, whether you have time and are willing to possibly witness a breakdown."
Wes and David exchanged concerned looks and nodded once when David turned towards the screen. "We won't force you to tell us anything, but we'd like to know whatever it is you are willing to share and if there is anything we can do to help."
Kurt rubbed his face and nodded before launching into the same story he told Blaine. He knew he had to tell his closest friends and family eventually, and the sooner he did, the easier it would be to move on. And so he did, he told them everything since meeting Sebastian to why their relationship was a secret, shedding a few tears throughout his tale.
David seemed to understand, but Wes looked hurt. "But Kurt, we are some of your closest friends. I thought you trusted us enough to know we would not go out selling your relationship to the media."
Kurt wiped at his eyes and sighed. "I do trust you. I wasn't worried about that. I was just afraid to tell you and how you would react. You are Blaine's best friends, and Blaine and I were together for eight years. I know, and don't you dare deny it, that it did come a bit as a surprise to everyone when we broke up. As for Sebastian, well I cowered and decided against telling anyone, not even my dad knows. I was a bit scared of his reaction too, he was, still is I think, number one supporter of Blaine and I's relationship, and he still treats Blaine as a son. I think he always hoped we'd get back together. The only people who knew about Bas and I were his family, who treated me as a son. And Bas was okay with keeping us top secret."
Wes and David nodded, accepting his explanation. They looked at the screen where Kurt was having a hard time controlling his emotions. They didn't know, but the hard part was still to come. Kurt, after calming down slightly, continued with his story, telling them of how Sebastian had proposed, while Wes laughed a bit at the most "unromantic proposals ever" as he put it, until he got to the part where Sebastian died. He broke down completely there, crying for a good five minutes before he excused himself for some time. Wes and David continued seated there waiting for Kurt's return while talking quietly to each other.
"Wow, so Kurt was engaged. Practically the whole time he was in Paris he was in a relationship and was even engaged. Quite some news that I wasn't at all expecting." David whispered to Wes as soon as he was sure Kurt was out of earshot.
"Yeah, but did you see how upset Kurt is? I think I know what is coming." Wes looked concerned at this, and even a bit sad.
"Do you think Sebastian broke up with him before he came back, not wanting to follow him back to New York?" David questioned, not really understanding.
Wes shook his head. "He wouldn't still be this upset I think, and he wouldn't be worshipping his engagement ring this much if that was the case. Didn't you see him clutching at a ring hanging on a chain around his neck? I think Sebastian might have passed away for some reason." David sat wide eyed absorbing what Wes had just said. And sure enough, Kurt's emotions, the talk, Blaine being discouraged about the possibility of future together with Kurt – yet, not blaming Kurt at all and defending Kurt's reasoning, and Kurt needing some time to himself to think; this all made sense now. They were still seated there, wide eyed at their new revelation, when Kurt returned, eyes rimmed red and still filled with tears, but albeit a lot more calm.
David gently said. "We are so sorry Kurt. You don't have to tell us. Sebastian passed away, didn't he?"
Kurt merely nodded, not questioning how they reached that conclusion. "Yes. Premature heart-attack at the beginning of the year. That's why I cancelled my visit."
Wes looked up at this, remembering that Kurt had indeed been scheduled to visit, but he cancelled a couple of weeks before the intended date. When Kurt emailed to let them know, they had teased him to no end, feigning hurt at coming second to his work.
"Oh, Kurtie. We are so sorry. Look, I'm sure you want some time to yourself now. I can see it in your demeanor. But we are here for you, whatever you need, okay? I'm so sorry. No one deserved to lose a partner like this. I see now, everything makes sense now. But just, don't shut yourself out like that again? Please? We were worried."
Kurt nodded, wiping his eyes. "If it's no problem, I'd really like to be alone right now. I promise to text or call soon. And thanks guys. It means a lot to me you guys didn't freak out on me or judge me for having moved on with my life." He managed a watery smile. "But, please, don't mention it to anyone beyond Blaine? I still have to gather up strength to tell everyone else."
They both nodded, assuring him of their secrecy, and reassuring him that there was no reason as to why they would freak out. As they told Kurt, there is no rule that you can't love more than one person in a lifetime, and he and Blaine hadn't been together for over a year at the time. As Wes put it:
"You deserve the best and all the happiness in the world, buddy. And if Sebastian was the one who gave it to you, there is no chance in hell we would be anything but supportive. Just know we are here for you. You are our friend just the same as Blaine. No favorites there."
Kurt thanked them and they said their goodbyes, Wes telling him he would call tomorrow to check up, and hung up the call.
"Christ! Of everything Kurt could have told Blaine that made him so discouraged, I certainly wasn't expecting that!" David turned to Wes, who seemed lost in his own world. "Wes?"
Wes jumped out of his reverie and shook his head. "It's nothing, I wasn't expecting that either. I just can't imagine what Kurt has probably been through. It must be hell to lose a loved one like this. And they had barely gotten engaged! And to lose someone so young due to heart attack… God, I wish he'd told us before so we could be there for him when it happened, giving the support he probably needed."
David nodded. "Well, we just have to be there for him now. Be there for them both. I still say they will get together, they complete each other, but now I can't say when. Kurt seemed a lot devastated still. I don't think he is even remotely ready to think of being with someone else, even if this someone else is Blaine, the one person who knows him better than anyone else."
Wes agreed. "I guess that's all we can do. Show them both, especially Kurt, that they are not alone."
Soon afterwards Wes left to back to his home, both of them thinking of how they could help their friends. Tomorrow would be a new day after all, and new days, meant new beginnings.
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