Chapter 32

Bitter Sweet

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Kyle (POV)

It had been a little over two weeks since Amanda had recovered her memories. Our families were overjoyed to hear the good news. Everyone was glad that things would be going back to normal and they were happy for Amanda. But this week seemed to be really busy due to Declan and Lori's wedding, which was in the morning. Lori was ecstatic when Amanda agreed to be one of the bridesmaids. I didn't know how and I wasn't about to ask but they had managed to get a dress for Amanda in such a short time.

I was working at the hospital tonight even though my shift started at ten this morning and I wouldn't be going home till around two in the morning, I didn't mind; night shifts were always quieter than day shifts. I finished up the last few notes in my chart then went and got the scans from the lab that Dr. Ford needed. Once I had them I double backed to his office.

"Hello Dr. Ford I picked up those scans for you," I said, placing the folder on his desk.

"Thanks, Kyle." He snatched them up and slipped the scans out of the folder clipping them to the light box behind him.

I peered over his shoulder, the patient had three golf ball sized tumors: One in the frontal lobe, and the other two in the right hemisphere of the brain.

"Damn it…" He sighed.

"Those are Collin's," I concluded.

"Yeah," he tore down the scans and flipped off the light box. "The cancer has spread, his treatment isn't working.

"What do we do now?" I knew the answer but I hoped he would say some thing else.

"Prep him for surgery." This would be Collin's fourth surgery this year.

I followed him out the door, both of us knowing we had to tell his mom.

"Miss. Davidson?" Dr. Ford motioned for her to step outside.

We took her to a more privet room. The whole time we walked down the hall I kept my eyes on the folder in Dr. Ford's hand. This folder changed everything, Collin was just a kid: he didn't deserve this! A child with cancer was unjustified cruelty.

We took her to the conference room and sat down at the big oak table.

"I know this is bad, the only reason you would take me to a different room is if you were telling me something bad. If it were good you would tell me in front of Collin. And I'd want you guys to do that." She rambled, not looking at either of us.

"Miss. Davidson," he took a deep breath, the kind you take when you know you have to say something but you don't know how, and you're stalling. "You're right…This is defiantly not good news."

I saw the glint of hope she had left in her eyes disappear.

"Collin's treatments haven't been working like we had hopped it would." I took out the scans to show Julia. "The cancer has actually spread."

Being a father I could only imagine what she must being thinking. You do everything to protect them but you never see something like this coming.

"Where do we go from here? More chemo? Surgery?"

"We would do another surgery but with the size and proximity of the tumors…. There are risks….60%..." Dr. Fords gave her the statistics.

"Death rate…" she concluded, wiping away her tears.

"Yes."

"Without surgery, how long?" she asked, her eyes focused on the table.

"A few months. Maybe."

We sat in silence for a long time. Dr. Fords and I wanted to stay with her in case she had questions. Eventually she ordered us to leave saying she had to make some phone calls.

"Page us if you need us and when you've made your decision. We know this is difficult." There it was: the distant, unattached voice that somehow came off concerned.

Many doctors used the same voice when they consoled a patient or a family member. I wondered if it helped them deal with things. If they didn't become attached then it would make it easier to do things like tell a person their child is dying.

Once we were out of the room he turned to me. "Go check on other patients, if you finish with that go help out at the clinic. I'll page you when I need you."

When I had finished with the patients on Dr. Ford's schedule I made my way down to the clinic to help out. There really wasn't much to do, I put a cast on a broken arm, I stitched up a few gashes but other than that it was pretty slow. Even through Dr. Ford hadn't paged me I still wondered back up to the surgical wing, after the doctor running the clinic said 'there wasn't a need for me to be down there when it was so quiet.'

I passed Collin's room and saw him lying in his bed looking burnt out. It looked like he hadn't slept in weeks, when that was all he had the energy to do lately.

"Hey, Collin," I said, leaning in the doorway.

"Hello, Dr. Kyle," he whispered, trying to keep his eyes open. "Have you seen my mom?"

"Last time I saw her she was making a few phone calls…She should be here soon though," I added.

"Oh…" he trailed off.

I was about to ask if he needed anything but he had already drifted back to sleep. I crept over to his bed and pulled his blankets closer to him. As I was leaving I almost ran into Julia.

"Oh, I'm sorry." She apologized for almost spilling her coffee on me.

"No, it was my fault."

"How's he doing?" she asked craning her neck to peer over my shoulder. Which didn't really work considering she was about 5'4 and I was a little over six feet.

"He's just really tired…" I replied.

"I don't know what to do…I don't know how I'm supposed to tell him. If he has the surgery he could die, but if he doesn't he'll die either way…" she whispered.

"Julia this is definitely not something I would wish on a family… But as hard as this is Collin should know what is going on with his own body, he's the one going through this." I caringly placed my hand on her arm.

"I should talk to him…" I could barely hear her so I didn't know if I was meant to. I just stepped aside and she walked passed.

It was a little after two in the morning now which meant my shift was over and I could go home. I said a quick goodbye to Dr. Ford before I grabbed my things from my locker and headed out to my car, not bothering to change into my street clothes. The roads were pretty quiet for a Friday night; everyone must have still been out at the bars or asleep at home. When I pulled into my parking space in the parking garage I cut the engine and grabbed my backpack from the passenger seat.

When I unlocked the door to the apartment I quietly set my keys on the table in the hallway and slipped out of my shoes. I checked on Brice before I went and got in my own bed with Amanda. He was sprawled out with his blankets kicked to the end of his bed.

"Good night buddy," I whispered, pulling up his blankets for him and kissed his forehead before I left his room.

I stripped off my scrubs and changed into a pair of black jogging pants, and then I crawled into bed with Amanda.

This was one of the many things I had missed when Amanda was staying at her Mom's house. Just being able to hold her in my arms as we slept, being able to be close to her. Especially after a hard day at work having her close seemed to calm me. I fell asleep almost as soon as my head hit the pillow.

I could hear two voices in the kitchen as I drifted into consciousness. I rubbed my eyes and really started to wake up; I was able to match to voices to Lori and Amanda without a problem. I sat up and swung my legs off the side of the bed, when I caught a glimpse of the clock it was only a little after eight.

"Morning," I greeted as I entered the kitchen.

"Kyle good you're awake! This is for you." She handed me a piece of paper and as I scanned it over I realized it was an itinerary for the day. "I figured that you're the most responsible guy, so you're in charge."

"Do you want any coffee, sweetie?" Amanda asked, getting up to replenish her own cup.

"Yeah, thank you," I said, taking the empty seat at the table.

"So the guys are going to be at your apartment, right?" I asked, looking over all the tasks Lori had broken down into hourly intervals.

"Yes and this apartment is off limits to Declan!" She emphasized 'off limits'.

"The groom isn't allowed to see the bride before the wedding; it's another one of those wedding superstitions," Amanda explained, setting a cup of coffee in front of me.

"Thank you." I leaned forward a little to give her a kiss.

"You're welcome," she replied with another kiss, both of us forgetting Lori was there.

I finished my coffee then hopped in the shower. When I was shaving I could hear Brice wake up and wonder into the kitchen. I rinsed off all the extra shaving cream when I was done and rubbed on some after shave. I grabbed my dark wash jeans and my cream colored waffle shirt from my side of the closet and quickly dressed.

I noticed there was one more person in the kitchen this time when I wondered back in there.

"Hello, Andy." I greeted her with a hug.

"Hey, Kyle," she returned the hug.

"Kyle, Amanda is getting Brice dressed, are you ready?" Lori asked putting her cup in the sink.

I nodded.

"Okay when Brice is ready you need to get over to my apartment and make sure that Declan and Josh are getting ready and not playing G-Force," she harked.

"Yes ma'am," I muttered and Andy laughed but Lori just glared at me.

Before anyone could say anything further there was an impatient knock at the door followed by the door just opening.

"Well hello all who are fabulous!" Hillary dashed in.

"Aunt Hillary!" I heard Brice call from his room then he ran to the hallway.

"Hello little muffin!" I wasn't 'little muffin' anymore, I hadn't been that since high-school.

She joined us in the kitchen with Brice in her arms, Amanda following behind her.

"Hey, Hillary," I welcomed her taking Brice from her. "Buddy we have to get going."

"Why?"

"Because the girls are getting ready here well us boys get ready for the wedding at Uncle Declan's." I explained walking to the hallway, slipping on my jacket then helping him with his.

Amanda made her way into the hallway to say goodbye to us.

"We'll see you at the church," I gave her a quick kiss then put my lips to her ear. "If this is too much for you just tell me."

"Kyle, I'm fine you don't have to worry," she whispered back into my ear.

I scanned her face to find any false tone that would give her away, but it was useless.

"Okay, well we'll see you later," I said and she kneeled down to Brice's level to tell him a quick goodbye.

We left and crossed the hall to Declan and Lori's apartment that they had just moved into a month ago.

Even though Lori would be disappointed we ended up playing xbox for a couple hours before Stephen and Declan's father Vince came and made us start getting ready.

We were all pretty much dressed we were just tying our ties and putting our vests on.

"Hey dad, could you help me?" Declan asked after giving up on his tie.

I looked up from helping Brice with his own tie and smiled. I knew Declan's history with his dad and I knew how happy he was to see his dad had actually shown up.

"We all set?" Stephen asked as I slipped on my tux jacket.

"I think so; we still have half an hour till we have to be at the church though." Declan added.

"Well I think it might be better if we're a little early rather than a little late."

"Besides, our limo is down stairs," Josh piped up, peeking out the window to the traffic on the street outside the building.

We filed out of the apartment and downstairs to the limo that took us to the church. When we arrived most of the guests had already arrived as well.

"Are you okay?" I asked Declan, we were standing in the hall of the church, he had just poked his head outside to the garden were all the guests were seated and were the ceremony would be held.

"Yeah, fine," his answered quickly.

"Nervous?"

"Maybe a little, I'm not nervous about marrying Lori. I love her. It's just I don't want to screw up, I don't want to fail her," he mumbled. "I want to be able to give her everything she's ever wanted."

"Declan," I placed my hand on his shoulder. "Lori loves you; she's marrying you because you are 'everything' to her, you don't have to worry."

"Thanks Kyle," and that's when I understood what people meant about the purpose of a best man were.

"Just doing my job," I smirked and he laughed.

"Declan, you have to escort your mother to her seat. Kyle, you too, you have to escort your mother as well." Vince poked his head into the room we were in.

Declan's parents were divorced so there was a little bit of tension between them when we found them in the hall that over looked the garden.

"I guess I'm your escort," I joked holding out my arm to Nicole.

She laughed and wrapped her arm around mine. We waited for Declan to escort his mother to her seat then I walked Nicole to her seat. Josh escorted their grandmother on Nicole's side. Josh and I went back into the hall and Declan stayed at the front of the garden by Father Jacob.

The girls were all ready to go, Brice would escort Hillary, I would escort Amanda, and Josh would escort Andy. The flower girl, who was Declan's cousin's daughter, would lead in front of Stephen and Lori.

Hillary and Brice went first and the guests 'awed' when they saw Brice leading Hillary down the aisle. Then Amanda and I went and Josh and Andy followed after us. The guests then stood in anticipation of Lori. The flower girl was a few steps ahead of Stephen and Lori tossing her violet peddles on the stone pathway.

We saw Stephen give Lori away to Declan; even he was a little teary eyed. That was nothing compared to Lori though, through out the ceremony Hillary kept giving Lori tissues.

"Lori Marie Trager and Declan Christopher McDonough, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride."

Declan didn't hesitate for a minute to wrap his arms around Lori and kiss her for the first time as husband and wife. Then the guests cheered Lori and Declan back down the aisle.

The reception party was on a boat that docked in downtown Seattle that Lori had rented for the night. The tables had been covered with white cloth and had room for eight guests. The dance floor was lit with strands of lights that hung above. The boat circled the harbor and it gave a beautiful view of the night sky line.

Everyone received their food and was laughing over conversations. Drinks were going around and people seemed to be really enjoying themselves, granted I didn't know half of them.

Soon it was time to cut the cake and we watched Declan and Lori shove vanilla cake into each other's faces. Then came time for the best man and maid of honor to give their toasts, Hillary went first.

"Well Mr. and Mrs. McDonough, all I have to say is finally!" The guests laughed and she continued. "Lori we've been best friends since freshman year of high-school and we've been through it all together. Then in our junior year of high-school, Declan, you came along and I knew that there was something different between you and Lori because I knew you weren't like all the other high-school couples that wouldn't even last a month. And I was right because here you guys are married and ready to start your lives together. Just remember though marriage isn't about finding the one person in the world that you can live with it's about finding the one person that you can't live without." She smiled at Lori and Declan for a moment. "I wish you both the best of luck and congratulations."

Everyone applauded and she passed the microphone to me.

"As of right now Lori and Declan, things in your lives are falling into place and it's up to you to decide what falls were, and no matter what happens in your lives everything will be okay because you've found someone to face it all with. Just remember to do things that you would never do before, if you wake up one morning and want to fly to Paris go for because before you know it your life will have passed you by. You should be able to look back on it with the one you love and appreciate it no matter what happened. As Ida Scott Taylor once said 'Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone, and do not be troubled about the future, for it has yet to come. Live in the present, and make it beautiful.' So to my sister Lori and my best friend Declan I love you both and I wish you the best."

I hugged Declan and he thanked me.

"You made me cry again," Lori sniffled quietly when I hugged her.

"I'm sorry," I whispered back.

"It was a beautiful toast, thank you Kyle."

Shortly after, the DJ announced Declan and Lori's first dance as husband and wife. Then couples began to join them on the dance floor. Amanda and I swayed together just enjoying one another's company.

"Brice is dancing with Hillary," I chuckled, twirling a little so Amanda could see.

"He's having fun," she laughed, and then I watched her gaze shift to Lori and Declan. "They look so happy."

"It's been a while since I've seen them this happy," I whispered.

"Soon it will be our wedding," she replied.

"Can't wait," I grinned, touching my lips to hers.

After a few songs I was able to steel Lori away for a dance.

"Did you know that Josh isn't that bad of a dancer?" she asked.

"Where do you think I learned to dance?" I laughed a little. "You look beautiful tonight Lori."

"Aww thank you!" She blushed.

After many hours of dancing, and Josh catching the guarder and Andy catching the bouquet the party began to die down around midnight and the boat docked. I carried Brice's limp body to the car after saying goodbye to Lori and Declan. Amanda got into the front seat and I drove us home. I had one hand on the wheel and the other around Amanda's hand.

AN: Alright everyone here's another update! Tell me what you think, comments, thoughts whatever it's all welcome! Thank you for reading!