I didn't remember falling asleep. I awoke, fully clothed, to Darry lying in the spare bed across from me, his arm draped over the side. He was still in his clothes, too, though I noticed neither of us were wearing shoes.

"Dar… Darry, wake up." I reached over and shook him gently. I had no idea what time it was, but it was light enough in the room that I was worried that he would be late for work.

His eyelids twitched and finally opened, slowly focusing on me.

"Hey… you okay?" he asked, sleepily. It was then that I remembered the complete breakdown I'd had after talking to Steve.

"Yeah. I'm good. Aren't you gonna be late for work?"

"It's Fourth of July," he said, stretching and rolling over. "No work."

"Oh yeah. Sorry I woke you up. What are you doing in here, anyway?"

"I didn't want to leave you, after… you know."

"Dar?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't tell you enough how great you are."

He laughed, and I slid out of bed and hugged him from behind.

"I mean it. Last night… that was exactly what Mommy or Dad would have done. You knew exactly what I needed."

He didn't respond. He was uncharacteristically sleepy, it seemed.

"Go back to sleep," I whispered, as it seemed that he was already slipping away. "You deserve a day off."

I climbed back into my own bed and fell back asleep as well, into a completely deep and dreamless sleep. Both of us were awakened by Soda, two hours later, who came bursting in and climbed on top of each of us in turn, startling us awake.

"Jesus Christ, Soda… you ever hear of the gentle approach?" Darry yawned, pushing his hair out of his face. I just lay there, unmoved, more than used to my brothers' wake-up tactics.

"C'mon… We've been waitin' for you guys to wake up forever! I made breakfast… Patriotic pancakes."

"Jesus, Soda… you bought food coloring again?" Darry stretched and sat up.

"Ah, c'mon Darry… it ain't that expensive."

"It isn't necessary… that would be the issue, Soda. Regular-colored brown pancakes are just fine."

"But they aren't fun," Soda said, and I had to laugh.

"Is that Scout Curtis, laughing?" Soda asked. "I ain't heard nearly enough of that lately."

"Me neither," Darry added, and within seconds they were tickling me so hard that after a mere minute I couldn't breathe.

"Stop… please, stop," I begged, laughing. And, surprisingly, they did.

"Get up and get out here, you two," Soda said, climbing off us and heading back to the kitchen. "Breakfast is served... even though it's practically lunch time!"

Darry still just sat there, staring at me.

"What?"

"It's really nice… to hear you laugh.. I mean, really laugh. I'm glad you got that back."

He smiled, and I had to smile back. It almost felt like New Year's Day to me rather than Fourth of July… a new beginning. I felt like the old Scout, the one I had so longed to have back after Steve had hurt me, had finally returned - or started to, anyway. Darry stood up and held out a hand to me, proceeding to pull me into the kitchen where we were both faced with Soda's pancakes. It was clear that he had tried to use red and blue to make them patriotic, but the colors had mixed to make them purple.

"Ugh, Soda… Really?" Darry groaned. In contrast to the orange juice he was pouring, they looked particularly terrible.

"They taste fine," Pony said, dousing his with syrup. He must have been in a growth spurt, he was eating like a horse, and he'd seemed taller lately. In fact, looking more closely, he was almost as tall as Soda, sitting down, anyway.

I knew they probably would taste fine – in most cases, as far as Soda's cooking was concerned, it was just a matter of getting past what it looked like. I found that closing my eyes for the first few bites often helped.

"So who's coming over to her coach's house with me and Scout?" Darry asked, coming over to the table and pouring coffee for both himself and Soda. I wondered when Soda had developed a taste for the stuff – he and Pony had always been chocolate milk drinkers at breakfast.

"I'm goin' over Sandy's for lunch," Soda said. "That's the only way they'll let her come over here for dinner, if she was there for lunch. You already start the ribs, Dar?" Our Dad had always started marinating the ribs for our Fourth of July barbecue days before.

"Yeah," Darry answered. "Hell, how could you not notice them? They've been taking up half the refrigerator since Sunday." I wasn't surprised – Soda wasn't the one with the eye for details – Pony was.

"I dunno," Soda answered, "Pony, you goin' with Darry and Scout?"

"I don't seem to be gettin' any better offers… you're not plannin' on spending all day there, are you?" He turned to Darry as he grabbed a few more purple pancakes from the stack.

"No… just show our faces, meet some neighbors. Maybe get a few more job references. There'll be food there." Darry knew how to get Pony's interest, what with his newfound appetite.

"So, Sandy's family doesn't do anything together for the Fourth ?" I asked Soda.

"They just do a big lunch thing. Her brother has to go downtown to help out at the fireworks, so he's not around at night."

"She has a brother?"

"Yeah, he's a firefighter, down with the station down on Munson."

I was stunned. I still couldn't imagine how her family had made her go away when she'd gotten pregnant… the fact that she had a brother and he'd agreed to the whole thing only confused me more.

"Really? She has a brother?" I felt suddenly sick, and my stomach seized, looking down at my purple pancakes.

"Yeah," Soda laughed. "What's so funny about that? Hell, you should understand it happens - you got three of your own!" he joked.

I didn't answer, just staring down at my plate. I couldn't understand how a brother could let their sister take the blame and get sent away for something that, in fact, he himself could have done to his own girlfriend. It seemed, in my mind, like Soda sending me away for accidentally getting pregnant while, on the other hand, I knew full well that he was having sex with Sandy.

Nobody noticed, everybody digging into their pancakes and ignoring my silence and the fact that I'd stopped eating. For a while, anyway.

"You okay, Scout?" Pony stopped to stare at me, finally having read into my anxiety.

"Yeah… I'm just not that hungry," I said. "Can I be excused?"

Darry looked at me with concern.

"You alright? You feeling sick again?"

"No, I'm fine, it's just…" I trailed off. I didn't want to get into what was upsetting me. Not right then, anyway. After I had just resolved all my stress with Steve, no less.

"Scout…" He started in on me again. "What's the problem? I'm serious - you don't feel good, you need to tell me. No more hiding it like last time. Nobody wants you ending up in the hospital again."

"It's nothing. I just want to go take a shower. I'm fine," I grumbled. "I can't explain it."

He reached out to put his head on my forehead and I pulled away.

"I'm not sick, Dar."

"Then let me feel your forehead."

"Look, I just …"

"Darry..."

I was surprised to hear Soda speak up for me. Darry looked over at him. I looked over at Pony, who had stopped shoveling pancakes into his mouth at Soda's interruption.

"She gets… you know, girl stuff, now. Cramps, and stuff," he said, less embarrassed than I would have expected, though I saw Pony squirming a bit. Soda must have become a bit more sympathetic to all of that stuff from hanging around Sandy so much. That wasn't the problem, right then, but I was willing to accept that suggestion, in order to be excused. Darry didn't respond right away.

"Go ahead," he said, finally, eying me somewhat skeptically.

"Thanks," I took my plate to the sink and rinsed it off, heading to the shower.

I stood under the water in the shower for a long time, just thinking. I couldn't imagine this brother Sandy had. I thought of my own brothers, and the only other older brother to a sister that I really knew – Two-Bit. Would he stick up for Katie, or send her away, I wondered, if she messed up? I'd asked Darry about it before, and he'd reassured me that it wouldn't happen, but there was no denying it, Sandy's whole situation – and how her family had handled it - still bothered me.

I got dressed and was sitting on my bed brushing my hair when I heard a knock.

"Yeah?"

Darry opened the door a crack and peeked in.

"It's fine, you can come in."

"You okay?"

"I'm fine. Really." I put down the brush. I felt bad – for the first time since he'd had to deal with being my guardian, he actually looked nervous. He was unknowingly shaking a bottle of aspirin, and he was never fidgety like that – Soda was the one who couldn't ever be completely still.

"I think… there's something else girls use for this kinda thing - that's better - I'll ask Alison. But, for now - here. This might help." He opened the container and poured out a couple pills, holding them out to me. I felt bad then, for lying.

"I don't have cramps, Dar. It's… It wasn't that."

He seemed oddly relieved, not really knowing how to deal with my "girl stuff" and feeling a lot more confident about handling my non-gender related stresses, I guessed. He closed his hand around the pills and funneled them back into the bottle, moving the brush from where I'd set it on the bed and sitting down next to me.

"Then what?" he asked. "What's got you upset? You still upset about last night? I told you I thought it was too soon."

I felt a little silly. Compared to all I'd gone through with Steve, this worry seemed pretty dumb.

"No, It's not about Steve. It's just… It doesn't really make any sense. It's nothing, really. You probably wouldn't understand anyway," I stammered.

"Try me," he said. I sighed. I owed him at least a good attempt at an explanation.

"I never knew that Sandy had a brother."

"Yeah, you seemed surprised. What does that matter?"

"You wouldn't get it."

"Scout…"

"Fine. I just… I never thought that she might've had a brother who let her get sent away, too. How could he? I know, you said you wouldn't, before, but… I mean, I know you and Soda, you've – well, you've been with girls… I mean, if I was with a boy and something happened, by accident? I thought it was just that Sandy had a mean Dad, but - if she had a brother, and he agreed, too…" I was talking too fast to be making sense.

"Scout, no. Stop it. We've been through this. You're not Sandy. I'm not Sandy's brother. This is your family- we're Curtises. We don't copy what other families do; we do what's right for us."

"I just can't believe her brother would make her go away. I don't want to think that way about you guys."

"They aren't us, baby. You can't judge our family by what others do."

"I'm scared, still. I'm scared I'm gonna mess up, somehow" I whispered, staring down at my feet. "I don't want to get sent away for it."

"You won't. You're not doing anything that could make you pregnant, anyway, right?"

"I told you, no. No chance. I'm just thinking about what could have happened without it even being my fault."

"Baby, you need to stop worry about all these 'what ifs.' You're worrying yourself silly over things that probably won't even happen. I swear, you and your brother both – I wish I knew how to just turn it off for the both of you. You're gonna drive yourselves crazy." There was no doubt he was referring to Ponyboy – Soda got worried occasionally but wasn't really the type to dwell on things.

I didn't answer. I wished it too.

He stood up suddenly, patting me on the back, grabbing a hand to pull me up, and squeezing.

"C'mon, lets get you out of this funk. You all set to head over to your coach's house?"

"Yeah." I followed him out into the living room. Soda was on the phone and turned to us.

"Hey, Dar, Can you drop me off at Sandy's on your way? She can bring me back later."

"Yeah, it'll cost you though," Darry joked.

"Yeah, okay. Just add it to my bill," Soda answered, turning back to the phone. "He said yeah, so I'll see you in a few." He paused. "Yeah, you too," he said, and hung up. I was sure Sandy had just told him she loved him, and he'd given the typical guy answer –"You too." I stared at him and shook my head.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"You're a nut, Scout. And someday I'm gonna crack you," he laughed.

"You're all nuts," Darry said, messing with Soda's hair.

"Hey, no messing with perfection," Soda said, laughing and backing away, swatting at Darry.

"Where is nut number three, anway?" Darry asked.

"He's outside poisoning himself," Soda said, and Darry sighed.

"You stop supplying the poison, he'll stop smokin' it," Darry pointed out.

"I got my own job now," Pony said, just as the three of us appeared on the porch. "You ain't got to buy them for me, Soda." Soda shrugged. I knew he still would.

"Listen," Darry looked over at Pony. "No smoking at Coach's house today, okay? Don't even bring the pack."

"Why?"

That had to be the question Darry dreaded most from Pony. He always wanted a reason for everything, and it drove Darry nuts.

"Just cause I'm asking, okay, Pony? Can't that just be enough, sometimes?" I really didn't want to start off the holiday with Pony and Darry fighting.

"Pony..." I started, shooting him a look that I hoped he would read as "Please… not now."

"Alright," he said, and stuck the pack between the couch cushions. "Just 'cause you said so, Dar." And he even smiled a little.

Darry turned and headed toward the truck, but not before I saw a small smile cross his face, too. Pony usually didn't pass up an opportunity to argue with Darry, and this small show of maturity was a welcome surprise.

Little did I know, I was about to find out that Pony was finally maturing in other ways too – namely, starting to show an interest in something fondly referred to as the opposite sex. He had no idea what awaited him at the cookout – but, as it turned out, he wouldn't be disappointed.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

That is a happy little cliffhanger, for once...

A/N: I know, it has been FOREVER since I posted and nobody is more annoyed about it than I am!! Real life has seriously killed my muse. This was kind of an anticlimactic way to get back into it but after the confrontation with Steve I needed to ease back into things. Thank you so much to those of you who read and review no matter how long I make you wait... you are very appreciated! Coming up soon: court (again), a surprise trip, and Scout's freshman year! (eek!)