Chapter 38

Mr. & Mrs. Kyle Trager

"Photograph"- Nickelback

I spun Amanda around, under the gleaming lights that had been strung above us on the roof top of our apartment building where the party was held. This was our official first dance as husband and wife. Being here, dancing with my wife, felt right. In many ways it felt like this was our beginning of our lives. We twirled effortlessly as the song '18 floor balcony' by blue October played.

"I love you, Mrs. Trager." I grinned just saying her name.

"I love you too, Mr. Trager." She stretched up to reach her lips to mine. Even with my eyes closed I could still see the flashes of light produced by the photographers.

Brice ran onto the dance floor wanting to join us half way through the song. We held him between us and continued dancing.

"Having fun, buddy?" I asked

"Uh huh, Mommy you look beautiful," he complimented.

Amanda chuckled and blushed slightly. "Thank you, Bri, you look pretty handsome yourself."

The song ended and Hillary took Brice as Amanda danced with Jack to what would have been the father/ daughter dance, and I danced with Nicole.

"What's wrong?" I asked. Nicole had tears in her eyes.

"You grew up." She tried to smile with the tears still there. "I'm happy that you're married though, Amanda is a very lucky girl."

"Thank you, Mom, for everything you've done for me," I whispered, causing her to tear up even more.

I danced with Amanda after the song ended and a new one began. From there I danced with Lori, and then Hillary. I was finally able to dance with Amanda again after that. We danced together for a couple songs and Brice joined us for a few of them. I took off my tux jacket after dancing for so long; it was too hot to wear.

Then it was time to cut the cake and everyone assembled around watched us feed cake to each other. When I saw Lori and Declan do this at their wedding I couldn't seem to understand why they made such a mess. Later Amanda had explained that it was another wedding tradition.

The guests ate desert and drank and danced well into the night. While Amanda was mingling with a few of the guest I stepped out to have a minute to myself. I walked to the part of the roof where none of the guests seemed to gather. I clasped my hands on the rail and gazed over the city, it was a wonderful sight at night.

"Congratulations." Immediately I recognized that voice and spun around.

I was shocked that she was actually here. "Jessi….What…What are you doing here?"

"You invited me." She raised an eyebrow.

"I didn't hear anything from you… I didn't think you were coming…I'm glad you're here though." I smiled giving her a hug; she stiffened as if I wasn't supposed to hug her. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing…it's just…. Nothing." She tried to smile to hide her lie. "I'm sorry I didn't go to the ceremony… It would have been-"

"It's alright, I understand. I'm just glad you're here now."

She nodded and was quiet for a moment as if she was contemplating what to say.

"I'm glad that you're happy, Kyle," she finally spoke.

I realized the last time she saw me I was a mess.

"Jessi, how could you leave?" The question seemed to fall out of my mouth effortlessly, before my mind had time to think. But it was something that had bothered me for a long time.

"I figured you'd want to talk about that." She paused. "Kyle… I knew that… With the way your life was going, with the way our life was going. We could never truly be happy."

"But how could you leave when it was you that I needed the most?" My voice was a little sterner than I had planned on it being.

"I was trying to do what was best; I was trying to think logically and not with my emotions." She looked me dead in the eye.

I was about to speak but she spoke first.

"Kyle, do you realized how big of a target we were to Latnok, when we were a part of each other's lives?" It was more of a rhetorical question because we both knew the answer.

"But why did leaving get to be your choice?" I couldn't help but feel a role reversal, I had, had this same conversation with Amanda years ago. Only I was able to come to the realization of how wrong I was.

"I spent a lot of my time wondering why you left, Jessi…I could never wrap my mind around it. I also could never come up with a reason that sufficed. There were many nights that I spent questioning your safety, where you were, even if you were still alive, Jessi." I kept my focus on the nightlife before me as I clutched the railing.

"Do you even realize how hard it was for me to leave you Kyle? I loved you! But I couldn't live in your shadow anymore..." Her tone was raised but not to the point of yelling.

"What does that even mean, Jessi?" I almost spat back.

"It means that as much as I loved you, I was losing myself," she said, a little more calmly. "It's always been your friends, your family, your past, and your life, Kyle.

"Knowing that Madacorp programmed my entire life, how I felt, the memories I had. I couldn't even trust my own thoughts anymore. I had to do what was best, I had to leave." She looked so vulnerable in that moment.

"Jessi…. I'm sorry." I didn't know what else to say.

"Daddy?" Brice called and I glance over my shoulder and saw him standing there. The sight of him completely changed my mood.

He hesitantly took steps toward me and hid behind my pant leg. I knelt down and picked him up.

"Brice, this is your Aunt Jessi." Out of the corner of my eye I saw Jessi quickly hid a shocked expression. "Jessi this is my son-"

"Brice Kyle Trager," he spoke softly and held out his hand.

"It's nice to meet you Brice," Jessi smiled kindly and took his hand.

"Daddy, Aunt Lori wanted me to come get you," he whispered to me.

"Alright, let's figure out what your Aunt Lori wants," I chuckled. "Jessi, would you like to join us?" I asked.

She nodded cautiously then followed us back to the party. Lori only needed me to tell me it was almost time for Amanda to toss her bouquet, and for me to remove her garter. Nicole and Stephen were first to make their way over to greet Jessi. I let them talk while I found Amanda.

"May I cut in?" I asked politely, she was dancing with her grandfather.

"Oh, of course." He smiled and I took Amanda's hands.

"Thank you," I said, placing my hands around her hips.

"Enjoying yourself, Mrs. Trager?" I grinned.

"Very much," she beamed. "When did Jessi get here?" She questioned peering over my shoulder.

"Not long ago…Are you okay with that?" I wanted to make sure.

"Kyle, of course it's alright that she's here."

After the song ended, Amanda wanted to go greet Jessi. They were very cordial with one another. Jessi even had gone so far as to hug Amanda and congratulate her. They both had matured very much since the last time I saw them interact.

"Thank you, for being here for him," I heard Amanda whisper very softly into Jessi's ear when they hugged.

"Promise to be good to him," Jessi whispered back and Amanda just nodded.

Within moments we all could hear Hillary using the DJ's mike to call everyone's attention.

"Alright, lady's and gentlemen! It's time for the fabulous newlyweds to participate in the traditional tossing of the bouquet and removing of the garter!" Her voice was very energetic.

I led Amanda to the dance floor and all the single women gathered around. Amanda turned her back to the crowed and tossed her bouquet of flowers behind her. I watched as the flowers glided through the air and right into Hillary's hands. Of course she had to jump in front of two other women to catch the flowers.

A chair was brought out for Amanda, who took her seat gracefully. I knelt down before her; I lifted the bottom of her dress up and removed the garter with my teeth, and Amanda's heart rate increased ever so slightly. It was yet another wedding tradition that I didn't understand and probably never would. I stood up, after removing the garter, and leaned down to give Amanda a soft kiss. All the single men had lined up before me and I shot it straight at Paul.

Hillary and Paul caught glances at one another before the DJ announced that it was customary for them to dance at least once. I had caught the two of them stealing glances at one another all night; finally this was an ice breaker for them.

I watched as everyone interacted amongst one another, Jessi had surprised me by making conversation with Foss, who was also engaging in a conversation with an older man I didn't recognize. I tried to tune into their conversation but Andy came over and asked me to dance.

"Well congratulations, Kyle," Andy beamed as we danced.

"Thank you Andy." I tried to discreetly keep an eye on Foss and the mystery man, something about their demeanor was off. "So does this mean you and Josh are next?"

"Well, the boy has to man up first and ask," she joked.

"He will, don't worry," I chuckled slightly.

"Well I hope so, or else I've been wasting a pretty long time with this boy," she laughed.

It was nearing the end of the party when Amanda shared one last dance before having to say a quick thank you and goodbye to our guests before rushing down to our apartment. We changed our clothes into something a little more casual for the plane. I had to gently help Amanda out of her wedding gown. We had packed all our things the night before the rehearsal. I had to quickly print off the boarding passes this morning before the ceremony.

"This will be our first time leaving him." Amanda was nervous about leaving Brice while we went on our honeymoon.

"He'll be fine; Lori and Declan are going to be taking care of him. If they need any help they have my parents here. Brice is going to be alright," I reassured her as we threw last minute things into our carry-on bags.

"Are you guys ready to go?" Declan asked, poking his head into our room.

"Yeah, just two minutes," I said, and he nodded.

"He'll be okay," I said wrapping my arms around her. Truth be told I was a little nervous too.

I grabbed our bags and took Amanda's hand and we followed Declan down to the lobby. Our family was there to say goodbye. It was hard for Amanda and I to say goodbye to Brice; Lori and Declan made it a little easier for him by telling him about all the fun he'd have with them. We loaded up the back of the car with our two suitcases and kept our carry-on bags up front with us. I sat in back with Amanda as Stephen drove us to the airport.

We checked in our bags and said goodbye to Stephen before going through security and finding our gate.

"Now boarding flight 815 non-stop to Paris," one of the flight attendants called over the P.A not long after we sat down.

Once we boarded and found our seats we were able to sit down and relax. Amanda took the seat by the window and I took the one by the aisle. The plane took off when all the passengers were all settled. Amanda pushed the arm rest between us up so that she could lean on me while she slept. I had one arm around her and balanced a New England Medical journal on my lap. I dosed off myself not long after, resting my cheek on top of her head.

Jessi (POV)

Foss was right when he had said Kyle wasn't the same person he used to be. He had changed, for the better. When I had left him he wasn't Kyle, he didn't have the pure soul that he had once had. Reality had changed him: he was troubled. Seeing him dance with his wife, I knew I had made the right choice. Seeing him smile and laugh, I saw glimpses of the man he used to be… before Cassidy. She brought that out of him. She made him happy.

"How are you holding up?" It was Foss who pulled me from my thoughts.

"I'm fine," I paused watching Kyle again. "You were right."

"About what?" he questioned, slipping his hands into his pockets, he looked very uncomfortable in a tux.

"He's changed."

"Isn't that what we've wanted for him?" He asked. "Isn't that part of the reason why you left?"

"One of them…" I trailed off.

"Jessi…Do you… still love him?"

"A part of me will always love him, Foss, but I've been able to move on. I've been able to let myself be happy as well."

"Good," he mumbled. "Has Latnok made any contact with you?"

"I've been able to stay under the radar, thanks to your help," I smiled gratefully.

"Good," he muttered again.

"Jessi, now that you've made an appearance in his life again. Are you planning on staying?" I had been wondering the same question myself.

"I don't know Foss. I left to protect him, and now that he has a family, I don't want to put them in danger."

"Jessi, he's already in danger."

Kyle (POV)

Amanda and I were very tired from the flight; we had lost almost a whole day with the time change. Once we landed in Paris a cab took us to our hotel where we learned that we had been upgraded to the honeymoon suit.

"I'm going to take a bath," Amanda announced once we were alone in our room.

I nodded and began to unpack my bag. The honeymoon suit was really just a pent house suit. There was a large dark oak framed bed with white sheets and blanket, a brown throw blanket draped across the end of the bed. There was a perfect view of the Eiffel Tower from the long windows that over looked the city.

"Kyle?" Amanda called from the bathroom.

"Yeah?" I called back walking toward the door of the bathroom.

"Join me?" She smiled seductively when I stood in the doorway. The bubbles just barely covered her chest.

"Oh, I don't know Mrs. Trager," I joked, folding my arms over my chest as I leaned in the doorway. She had lit candles around the tub.

"Please?" she pouted, and I chuckled causing her to as well.

"Alright," I smiled unbuttoning my shirt and undoing my pants.

She moved so I would be able to sit with my back leaning against the end of the tub. She straddled my lap and immediately our lips were locked together. She tangled her hands through my hair and pressed herself closer to me. I knew exactly where this was going to go.

"I love you," I whispered looking into her beautiful blue eyes.

"I love you too," she replied and we continued on.

AN: So this is the chapter that everyone has been waiting for, Jessi has finally made her appearance! I know it was long overdue but I'm glad that I have brought her in at a point where it fit well. I hope everyone enjoyed reading this chapter, I know it's been a while since my last update. And I feel like I say that in every authors note that I write but I just feel bad when I take forever to update. I've just been dealing with final exams and papers, but now that that's over I hope to be able to update more often.

Thank you for reading! And I look forward to reading your comments, they are always welcome!