Soda went in first to see Dr. Lee again – I didn't volunteer, because suddenly my head was spinning with a million questions for Darry. He turned to go out to the truck to get his book and I followed.

"I'm going to have to talk this time, right? I mean, definitely?"

"The whole point of coming here is for you to talk," he replied, turning and looking puzzled. "Even you admitted that it helped you last time."

"No, not here. In court. I'll definitely have to talk? Not like last time, where I just had to agree with what other people said?"

"Yes. You're definitely going to have to talk." He stood in the doorway, the door half open. "But you can change your mind, any time, about going at all. I told you that."

"I know." I nudged him out the door and walked over to the truck with him. "I just wish I knew exactly how it was going to be, you know? I always thought court was like it is on TV, but it wasn't like that at all, the last two times. Is it going to be like that this time?"

He opened the truck door and stuck his hand under the seat.

"Eew, I'd never stick my hand under there," I commented, as he groped around until his hand settled on what it was looking for and he pulled out a book. Methods and Materials in Contemporary Carpentry. Figures. Even when Darry wasn't in school, he was in school. He was going to read a textbook while sitting around waiting for us.

"I probably don't know much more about how it's going to be than you do." He slammed the door and looked over at me. "But I do know that you'll have to talk, and answer questions."

"Will they yell, like on TV?"

"I doubt it. You'll have a lawyer. Plus, in real court the judge doesn't let things get really out of hand, like on TV." He put his hand on my shoulder and started us back toward the office.

"I'll have a lawyer? Doesn't that cost a lot?"

"We're not paying for it. The other families who had accidents at that intersection filed the lawsuit. You're part of it, but you're also a witness."

"Yeah, so who pays for the lawyer?"

"Well, nobody really, I think. They get a part of the money awarded if they win the case." He opened the office door and I headed in, choosing a seat by the aquarium.

"So how much money is this whole thing about, anyway?" I was hoping it would be enough, if we won, that at the very least Soda could get another car and Darry could stop worrying so much about the bills.

"I have no idea. I imagine it's something decent, though, like I said before – people died because of that broken light."

I thought about that for a minute. It seemed a stupid kind of justice – paying money for being responsible for someone having died – but I supposed it was better than nothing.

"Will there be a jury and everything? Like, can the lawyer yell 'I object' and everything?"

"I told you," he laughed, "I don't really know. Maybe."

I pouted a bit, despite myself. I wanted answers but I knew it wasn't Darry's fault for not having them. He knew what I was thinking, though.

"Why don't we call Uncle Pat tonight, huh? He'll probably be able to answer your questions better than I can."

"Okay," I agreed, staring at the fishtank. Uncle Pat seemed to know everything about everything, as far as I could tell. Darry opened up his book and started reading and I got lost in watching the fish swimming around. There was a snail in the tank and I found myself feeling sad for it, wishing maybe it had another snail in there to keep it company, since the fish didn't seem to pay it much attention.

I jumped when the door to Dr. Lee's office suddenly opened.

"Thanks a lot," Soda was saying, shaking her hand.

"Well, you take care of yourself," she answered, and it sounded like his counseling was over. I wondered whether I'd still have to come even if he didn't. Not that it was all that bad, but I knew it was costing us money.

"I will," Soda replied. He came out into the waiting room. "Your turn." He pointed his chin in my direction.

I got up and he took my place next to Darry. At least he hadn't been crying this time – in fact, he looked okay.

I went ahead and chose the comfortable seat right in front of Dr. Lee this time, knowing that she'd just sit up close to me anyway. I sat while she shifted some paperwork and waited, not sure what to say.

"So, Scout… How are you?"

"I'm okay," I answered. "Doing pretty good, actually."

"Good."

"I did my homework – I mean, I talked to Darry."

"You did? How'd that go?"

"Really good. I mean, better than I thought. It turns out both my other brothers felt the same as I did. He's almost definitely going back to school."

"That's great. And I'm really proud of you for being honest about that with him. It's not always easy to be honest with people you love when you're not sure they'll agree."

"Yeah. I was kinda nervous, but it went okay."

"That's super, Scout. I'm so happy for you." I knew it was her job to say it, but somehow I really felt that she was sincere.

"I'm, well – I'm happy too. It was really good that Pony and Soda agreed with me about it all, too – they just hadn't really been thinking about it. I know Soda was pretty distracted with what was going on with Steve, I mean… "

"I get it," she responded.

"And Pony – he just tends to be kind of like, well, a genius that misses what's right in front of him, you know? He's probably smarter than all of us combined but he seems to miss the obvious stuff all the time."

"Oh, I don't know. You're all pretty smart, so far as I've seen."

"Yeah, maybe. Well, we're all smart in different ways – Pony's book smart, Soda can take stuff apart and fix it, and Darry's a math whiz and can build anything… but I was the only one who noticed Darry was about to give up on school, somehow."

"And you?" she asked. "What are you smart about, Scout? In your mind, I mean."

I had to take some time to think about it. What was I good at? It took a great deal of searching.

"Well, not math. I usually do okay at it, but this past year – if I was distracted at all – I just didn't get it."

"Okay, well, we all have our weaknesses. And good for you, for knowing yours. But… what are your strengths, Scout? I know you have some. You've been through a lot, and you're still here, still willing to talk and go on with living. I know a lot of people, people much older than you – and supposedly wiser – who just gave up after a setback. Just pretty much stopped trying - stopped living. But you've been through a whole lot of challenging events, and yet you still go on. You're still doing a great job at living your life, despite some big hurdles to get over. So give yourself some credit! Think about it – What are your strengths?"

"Well…" I started, "I think I'm pretty good at talking to all of my brothers – getting them to admit what they are thinking."

"That sounds good. Do you think maybe they open up to you more than to each other?"

"Sometimes. About feelings, maybe. Not about guy stuff – I mean, girls and stuff. Then they only talk to each other. They never talk to me about that."

"Well, you know, it sounds like you're a pretty important part of the family in terms of giving your brothers a shoulder to lean on when they're upset – that's a pretty good gift, I think."

"Maybe. I guess I'll find out. They still don't trust me about some stuff. Darry worries that if he tells me about anything serious it'll just make me worry. Maybe when I get older he'll talk to me more about important stuff."

"Well, while sticking to my guidelines for confidentiality, after talking to your brother, I think I can assure you that they value your opinion on things quite a bit. Your lack of blame towards Soda, regardless of the fact that his friend hurt you … he cares about you, Scout - believe me. He loves you a whole lot. I can't really go into what we talked about, but the whole time we were talking about you he was saying how he cares about you so much and wants you to be okay. He got pretty worked up talking about it."

"I love him, too."

I had to bite my lip to stop myself from crying. I knew Soda loved me - I always knew that – but I'd always assumed seeing him come out of Dr. Lee's office crying had to do with Sandy and her losing her baby. I never really believed his crying had anything to do with me. I really thought I was doing a great job with the acting and pretending I was fine. It was sort of shocking that Soda apparently knew all along I hadn't been – but yet he never confronted me about it.

I suddenly couldn't wait to see and talk to Soda – for so many reasons.

There was a silence – though not an awkward one, and I felt compelled to take my turn in initiating conversation.

"So… also, I met with… well, I talked to the guy who, you know, who hurt me."

She nodded and I had the feeling she was choosing her words carefully.

"Do you want to talk about how that went with me?"

"I guess. I mean, it wasn't really dramatic or anything. My brother Pony really didn't want me to talk to him – he's still really mad about what he did."

"You're not?"

"No. I don't know… I know it sounds weird. It's not like I think it was okay, or I understand why he did it, but I just felt like – It was just too exhausting to be upset and scared all the time. He won't do it again – I know that. I guess I feel safe again… I trust my family that I'll be okay."

"That's really great," she replied. "It seems like you've made a lot of progress just since last week."

I thought on that a minute, about how I had sobbed in her office the last time, and had to agree. Once more, our time was up and it had flown by.

"So Scout, you're still scheduled for two more sessions with me. I know you've got some things coming up, so I think it might be a good idea to keep those two appointments… after that we can play it by ear. Sound okay to you?"

"How do you know I have stuff coming up?"

"Your brother just told me. He's worried that you're stressed out about it."

"Darry?" I couldn't think of when she and Darry could have talked about me. I'd been right there the whole time.

"No, Sodapop. During our session."

"I thought you weren't supposed to tell me what you talked about with him. And now you have, twice!"

She smiled.

"I guess technically, you're right," she agreed, "but I think him caring about you, and you going to court and starting high school is pretty much public information."

"Yeah, I guess," I answered. Court coming up had totally made me forget about the whole high school thing. It surprised me that it had been on Soda's mind that I might be nervous about that, enough that he even mentioned it.

"So I'll see you in a week or so?"

"Okay," I agreed, hating that Darry was paying for it, though. Dr. Lee walked over to the door and opened it, revealing Darry and Soda deep in a conversation that abruptly stopped when they saw me.

"Hey," Darry jumped up, coming over to greet Dr. Lee and shake her hand. Soda trailed behind him, coming over to me.

"How'd it go?" he whispered.

"Good," I answered. "I didn't cry this time, at least."

"Me neither," he laughed, and gave me his trademark Soda smile that made all the girls swoon over him. Even as his sister, sometimes it still shocked me how handsome he could be. It was nearly impossible not to smile back at him.

I watched as Darry paid the bill, signing the check and handing it over. His handwriting was pretty much identical to Dad's, except that Darry added a "Jr." to his signature.

Walking back to the truck, I wondered out loud.

"Do you still have to sign stuff with 'Junior'?" I asked.

Soda turned to look at me, a strange expression on his face, but I couldn't tell why.

"What?" Darry hadn't even been listening.

"When you sign your name. You still, sign 'Junior.' But really, since Daddy is gone, do you still have to be 'Junior? I mean, now… you're the only Darrel."

He seemed stunned by the question and I suddenly felt horrible for even asking it. Darrel Curtis, Junior was who he WAS, and I'd suddenly called that into question. As much as I saw him panicking about his very existence, I saw in his face that he was panicking legally, as well. Lord knows, he didn't want to sign the wrong name on anything legal, especially, I suspected, regarding custody of the rest of us.

"I'm…" he hesitated, "I'm not actually sure. But I'll find out." He was clearly full–on stressed about it, suddenly, and I wished I'd just kept my mouth shut.

"Okay… It's no big deal, Dar, I mean, I just wondered. Just seemed like if the Senior is, well, gone… it doesn't seem right that you have to still be a Junior. But it's probably not a big deal. I mean, you can probably just not even worry about it." I wished I could erase that I'd even mentioned it.

"I'll find out," Darry said, as we walked toward the car, and I couldn't help but feel like he dreaded figuring out the answer. He'd always been Darrel Curtis, Junior – and I might have just made him give that up, against his will. I didn't even now why I'd brought it up... in my mind, Darry would always be a junior to Dad. Sometimes I wished I could just keep my mouth shut.

I squeezed in between Darry and Soda in the truck but rested my head on Darry's shoulder, feeling bad about upsetting him.

"So how'd your session go?" he asked.

"Okay. Good, I think. Don't worry – I didn't talk about you." I squeezed his arm as he reached out to shift.

"Good," he almost smiled.

"So, Soda – you're done? You don't have to go any more?" I turned to look at him. He was staring out the window and didn't turn around, lost in his thoughts, watching the sights go by.

"Yeah. I said everything I got to say."

I actually believed him. Knowing Soda, he probably poured his whole heart out in two sessions and was done. That's just how he was. Pony and Darry and I - well, we had to think about things a whole lot before we just let them spill out.

Things were quiet for a while until I remembered how their conversation had suddenly stopped when they saw me.

"So what were you guys talking about when I was in Dr. Lee's office?"

"Nothing," Darry responded.

"Guy stuff," Soda answered simultaneously.

I believed Soda.

"Oh, guy stuff? So is that all you talk about when I'm not around? Girls, and sex and stuff? Jeez, Soda, first you and Pony, now you and Darry, too? Can't you guys even try to wait until you know I won't turn up to talk about that stuff?"

"You and Pony were talking about sex?" Darry turned and asked Soda, looking so panicked that I laughed out loud.

"Darry, c'mon. I mean…"Soda motioned toward me.

"Yeah, they were," I answered, "and I caught them, too."

"He's not…" Darry started, and was interrupted by Soda.

"No, Darry, he's not. Relax, okay?" By this time we were pulling into the driveway.

I couldn't help myself from all-out laughing, seeing Darry panicking about Pony possibly having sex. He was a million times less likely to be doing that than I was – and there was no way I was even considering it.

"This isn't funny, Scout," Darry scolded, emphatically slamming the truck into park.

"It is, kind of," I tried to stop laughing, just because he really seemed so mad.

"It's not, at all." He stared over at me and his death glare pretty much silenced my laughter at its core.

"Darry, c'mon. Ease up." Soda sensed his anger.

"No. I ain't easing up. Jesus Christ, Soda, you ain't exactly a shining example for Pony or Scout. I don't want them thinking screwing around for kicks is okay. I'm in charge of them. Christ."

Soda looked shell shocked.

"Do you get that, Soda? Either one of them screws up their future over one night with some guy or girl, and I got that on my conscience. So I'd appreciate you NOT sharing your ideas on sex with Pony. Or Scout. Christ, Soda. She's a kid."

I had no idea what to say. I wanted to melt, seep down onto the floor, and ooze out through the cracks in the door.

"I'm not…" Soda started. "Pony ain't gonna do anything stupid, Darry."

"He's a guy, Soda. He don't always think with his brain first."

"Can I get out?" I was sure they had forgotten I was there. I was cringing at the conversation.

"And Jesus, you're having conversations in front of her, too?" Darry's eyes just about pierced through Soda, so I jumped in to his defense.

"No. He never says anything to me. I swear to God, Darry, I don't want to do anything Soda might be doing anytime soon, and Ben… he doesn't either. Please, can I just get out?" I fairly begged.

Soda opened his door, and I was out of the truck in record time. I went immediately to Pony's door and knocked.

"What?" he sounded annoyed. He definitely valued his alone time.

"It's me. Please, can I come in? It's for your own good."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Pony, c'mon. Darry's gonna come in and want to talk to you. I'm your warning."

I heard footsteps and the door opened. I entered, closing the door behind me.

"What are you talking about?" Pony demanded. "What'd I do now?"

"Nothing." I stared right back at him. "He's gonna come talk to you about sex."

"What?" His face immediately turned a bright scarlet. "Why?"

"Well, he knows you and Soda have been talking about it."

"And he knows that because…?"

"I didn't offer it up. I swear. Just – I caught him and Soda talking about it, too. So it came up. How do you think it feels being me when all of a sudden every time you leave the room for a second your brothers are talking about girls… and sex?"

He didn't answer, and stared down at the floor

"Especially when…well, – it's not really something I want to talk about… Not like you guys do, anyway. It's not…I mean, so far, anyway – it's not a fun thing, for me –not like how you guys think about it, anyway."

Understanding was apparent from his expression. And his total lack of any idea of what to say was apparent, as well.

"Scout, I…" he started.

"It's okay," I assured him, interrupting. "It's fine – I mean… I know you are guys and there's hormones and stuff and … stuff happens. So, whatever. If you have to…" I tried shrugging it off, though it really did bother me, thinking about my brothers talking about girls – especially ones I knew and liked, like Sandy and Alison – as objects.

"Stop it," Pony interrupted. "Don't even make that an excuse."

"What?"

"Hormones. I mean, yeah, that explains some stuff, but look – I don't want you thinking all guys are animals or something. Even I know that hormones ain't ever enough reason for hurting a girl. It's no excuse for what happened to you."

I turned towards him, grateful. I felt safe and supported at home – I hadn't lied about that to Dr. Lee – but it felt good to know that even though I was doing a lot better, my brothers realized that it still wasn't something I enjoyed thinking or talking about.

He didn't say anything else, at first. And I didn't push. Staring at each other I realized again how much more we had in common than not, despite our bickering.

"Thanks," I said, breaking my gaze as I heard Darry and Soda coming in. I guess Darry's lecturing of Soda had come to an end. "I should probably go. I don't need to hear Darry's birds and bees talk."

I turned to leave but he reached out and took hold of my arm, pulling me back around to look at him again. For the first time since Steve had grabbed my arm, I didn't flinch or immediately pull back. His touch was the gentle touch of someone who understood, and cared.

"Scout - I'm… sorry," he started, "about what happened to you. I just – I know I never actually said that. But I am."

I remembered how I'd been grateful at the time for Pony being the only one not to apologize, how frustrating it had been to have everyone saying how sorry they were about something that wasn't their fault. The only person who I'd needed to be sorry was Steve, and I was pretty sure then that he was.

"I know," I said, not minding the words so much anymore. My eyes met Pony's and the green in his seemed brighter and clearer than I'd ever seen it. Tricia must love his eyes, I thought. Soda had always been the handsome one, but Pony had a whole lot going for himself, too, I realized.

Suddenly there was knocking at the door. Pony gave my arm a light squeeze and let it go. I turned and opened the door to find Darry towering in the doorway.

"Pony and I need to talk," he said, using his best 'legal guardian' voice. "You go help Soda with dinner."

He didn't have to offer up any alternative activities – there was no way I was going to hang around to listen to him hound Pony about the dangers of getting too close with the opposite sex. I was well down the hallway before he even finished his sentence. Soda wasn't in the kitchen, though. After a bit of hunting I found him out in the back yard watching Tang chase after a moth, to little success, seeing as how moths can fly and cats can't.

"Aren't you supposed to be cooking supper?" I asked.

"Probably," he admitted. He didn't look back at me.

"What's the matter?" I just sensed something was off with him. "Don't let Darry get to you – he's just doing what he thinks is his job."

"Is he right?"

"What? About what?"

"Am I a bad influence? On you and Pony? I mean, I don't want you two getting in over your head any more than he does. If me bein' together with Sandy means you two …"

"Soda." By this time I had walked over to him and actually stopped him from talking by putting my hand over his mouth. He laughed and pulled it off.

"Scout, I just..."

"No," I interrupted him again. "You're not a bad influence. I don't know where Darry gets the idea that Pony and I want to do whatever you guys are doing. We don't. I know I don't anyway. You love Sandy… I get that. But… just because you're, well, you know… doing certain things – it doesn't mean I will, or want to. I can't say for Pony, but considering he's just getting around to kissing, I don't think you need to worry about him too much. Plus, he's a boy – he's gonna ask you guys for advice when he needs it, anyway."

"Who are you gonna ask, then?" Soda asked, thoughtfully.

"I don't know," I admitted. I missed mom immensely whenever such subjects came up.

"You know, you can always talk to me and Darry about stuff," he said, "I know we're guys, but…"

I raised an eyebrow and gave him a look that pretty much said that I would rather die than talk to him or Darry about my love life. He laughed out loud and reached out to throw his arm around my neck.

"So, about that dinner," he changed the subject, steering me inside. I let him lead me in, glad that, for the moment, all was well between me and all three brothers. With court coming up, I only hoped the calm would last.

A/N: Still trying to find the inspiration to write more than a chapter every few months! The plot is all there in my brain - it's the actual writing that proves SO hardlately - time constraints and general writers block! Thanks so much to all of you who stick with me and review despite the delays in updating. You keep me going. Thank you for your continued readership and reviews. They really mean a lot.

~samaryley