Pony and Darry emerged from the bedroom just as Soda and I were finishing up the pork chops. Pony's ears were red as all get-out, and Darry looked exhausted. I was surprised – I'd assumed that since Mom had given me the birds and bees talk that Dad had gotten around to that with Pony, too – apparently he hadn't, and Darry didn't look too excited about it having become his job. I'm sure Pony and Soda had talked about it plenty, but I guess Darry felt an "official" talk was in order. He sat down to eat and I stood behind his chair, massaging his shoulders. I was encouraged by the fact that I could actually feel him relax a little.
"You're getting better," he commented. "Soda been coaching you?"
"I thought you didn't want me imitating Soda," I replied, and, feeling him tense up again, immediately regretted teasing him. Soda shot me a look, as well, and I felt doubly bad.
"I'm just kidding," I backtracked. "Sorry, Dar. I know it's not really that funny to you." I dug in extra hard and he groaned.
"You keep giving backrubs like this and I might be willing to overlook it," he replied, "but save it for later., 'kay? Sit down and eat." He pulled out the chair next to him and I sat down, promising to finish up after dinner.
Dinner itself was awkward. Pony had nothing to say, clearly trying to process whatever information Darry had just forced upon him. Soda tried to play the cheerful middleman, and I just waited impatiently for Darry to be done so we could call Uncle Pat and I could ask him about court.
Finally, Darry put down his fork, pushed away his plate, and stood up. I was on his case immediately.
"Can we call Uncle Pat now?"
He checked his watch. "Let's give it another hour, okay? He's probably in the middle of dinner."
"Okay." I was pouting, though, on the inside. I wanted to talk to him something fierce. The whole impending court thing was weighing on me heavier by the minute. It was Soda's night for dishes and Pony hung around to help – avoiding Darry, I was guessing. Darry headed into his chair in the living room and I followed. I tried to continue my massage but the back of the chair was too tall and I couldn't reach over it.
"Can you sit on the floor?" I asked. "I can't reach."
"You don't have to…" he started.
"I want to," I interrupted "I mean – if it's worth it." I still didn't have much confidence in my backrubs. I knew he preferred Soda.
"Oh, believe me, it's worth it," he replied, sliding out of the recliner down onto the floor. I sat on the chair and he backed up in front of me. I kneaded as best I could, and eventually he leaned forward, resting his head on his knees. I started wondering after a while how Soda could manage to keep it going without his fingers cramping up.
"Scout?" he startled me, even though it was barely more than a whisper. I'd been concentrating hard on trying to apply just the right amount of pressure.
"Yeah?" I stopped rubbing for a second and he shivered, so I started rubbing again.
"When Mom talked to you about – you know – puberty and stuff – I mean, did she cover everything? I mean - if you have questions, you know you can ask me, right?"
"Dar, we've been through this. I'm good."
"But you weren't – you know – with Ben then."
"I'm not doing anything with Ben that I wouldn't do right in front of you. Seriously."
"I want to believe that. And if Mom and Dad were still around, I probably would. But just, with me in charge... I feel like I have to be paranoid."
I stopped the backrub again and reached around his neck to hug him.
"Mom's talk was pretty thorough – and you don't have to be paranoid," I said.
"You sure?"
"Yup. Not about me, anyway. Pony and Soda – well, I can't really speak for that. I thought Pony was too shy for anything past first base, anyway - but now, with this girl - maybe I was wrong."
At the mere mention of first base Darry eyed me but was cut short of any commentary as Soda burst into the room.
"So, Scout," he bumped me out of the way and took over with Darry's backrub – his reaction to Soda taking over was immediate and any credit for improvement he'd offered me was immediately erased, in my mind. I swear, I saw Darry immediately turn to putty as Soda took over.
"Yeah?" I had scooted over and was settled into the corner of the chair, my head on the arm but my legs stuck between Soda and Darry.
"What'cha gonna do with all the rest of your summer? Tomorrow's your last day working for your Coach, right?"
"Yeah," I agreed, "but we have court Friday." It seemed typical that Soda wasn't harping on that, despite the fact that he had to go, too.
"Aw, that's no big deal. You're worried about that?"
"No," I lied.
"Soda," Darry warned.
"What?" he replied, looking over at Darry and obviously getting his message – don't stress her out about court.
"Really, baby? You're stressed out about court?" He abandoned Darry's backrub and turned to me. "We didn't do anything wrong. You know that, right? All you have to do is tell what you saw." He turned his attention to me and took my hands, squeezing.
"I know."
"Why are you upset, then? I mean, you're not lyin' or nothin' - I went on green, right?"
I was shocked he'd think I would lie.
"Yeah. God, Soda, of course."
"What do you got to be scared about, then? Just tell the truth."
Soda had never really shared the terror Pony and I held in our hearts regarding court – maybe because he was close enough to being a legal adult that being "taken away" seemed like little more than a threat to him. To Pony and me, however, it seemed real and horrifying. Especially the thought that we could still be taken away, even after telling the truth. It had all always depended on how believable we were. Regardless of the fact that this time in court wasn't going to have anything to do with Darry keeping custody, it was still upsetting to worry about the fact that they just might not believe me, regardless of the fact that I would be telling the truth. And since everything in court seemed so real – so "legal," I always worried that somehow I'd slip up and say something that would get misinterpreted and lead the state to believe I was unhappy, or badly cared for.
"It's complicated."
"It ain't, really. You just go up there and tell the truth."
He made it sound so simple. I hoped he was right, that it would be that easy. Somehow I just felt like it wouldn't be.
"I know – I'm going to tell the truth – you know I will." I said, "just - they have to believe me, too. I just don't feel like they'll believe me."
Soda rubbed my shoulders, almost like he was trying to rub my apprehension away.
"You just tell the truth," he whispered in my ear. "What anyone else thinks – well, that's their problem. You ain't any liar – those people in court will believe you."
He was right about that, for sure – I was a terrible liar.
"Will you be disappointed, if they don't believe me?" Soda had followed the signal – but, to me, anyway, it seemed unfortunate for him that I was the only one who could vouch for him in court.
"God, Scout, no. You think I care? I don't care what the court says about the accident. I know it wasn't my fault, is all – there's no way anyone's arguing that, or I'll have somethin' to say about it."
"Nobody is," Darry interjected. "Scout, all you're doing is just explaining what you saw. There won't be anything upsetting about it. You're just telling your story. And Soda, you're not going to be saying anything unless you're asked to."
"I know," I answered. "I'll be okay. I don't even know why I'm so stressed about it. I mean, it's not like I haven't already done it before."
"Come into the kitchen," Darry looked over at me, "Let's call Pat, okay?" He knew that, for whatever reason, I needed the reassurance from someone older than him. Someone we all thought of as an "adult" before Darry suddenly had become one.
I followed him into the kitchen and sat at the table as he looked up the number and dialed. Soda turned on the TV and didn't follow us. I knew it wasn't because he didn't care – he just wanted to leave it up to Darry to get me comfortable with court. Soda would have to be there – along with Two-Bit and Sandy – we'd all been in the car - but I was the witness upon which the whole lawsuit was depending. And what bothered me wasn't so much that I was standing up for Soda, but that there were other families depending on my testimony in order to win their lawsuits. That light wasn't working – no doubt – but other people had died because of it.
"Hi, Pat? It's Darry." I snapped out of my thoughts. I wished I could hear both sides of the conversation, though.
"Yeah, everything's okay." Was it? I wondered if Darry would ever really tell him if - or when – it wasn't. I waited while they made smalltalk. I found myself wondering if Pat knew about the whole thing with Steve. I found myself hoping not. In my mind, the fewer people that knew about that, the better.
"Yeah, everybody's fine. Remember how I told you how Soda got in that accident, though, and Scout got asked to testify? She just wanted to talk to you – ask a few questions I can't really answer. – I mean, I'd like to – but I don't really know the answers."
I waited, hoping Darry wasn't feeling bad that I was going over his head for answers.
"Okay, thanks. Here she is." He handed the phone over to me, smiling and messing up my hair. It was a sincere gesture, and I knew he was okay with me needing Pat for the moment. I brushed his hand away, smiling back, and took the phone.
"Uncle Pat?"
"Hey, is that my girl?"
"Hi! I've missed you." I was surprised at how true that was, once I heard his voice. It must have been months since I had talked to him.
"Hey - same goes for me! We've got to do a better job of keeping in touch! So, your brother says you're worried about court?"
"Sort of."
"Just sort of?"
"Okay, well, maybe a little more than that. I just hate not knowing what's going to happen, you know? I'm always just worried I'll say the wrong thing."
"You know this has nothing to do with Darry having custody, right?"
"Yeah, just – it doesn't seem to matter, in my head. I just think of court and I automatically panic that our whole family could get messed up."
"Honey, you don't need to worry about that. Darry told me before about the trial details – you have nothing to worry about. Nobody should be giving you a hard time. You're just a witness, Scout – they might ask you questions about what you saw – just answer their questions honestly as best you can, and everything should be okay."
"Are you sure?"
"Would I lie to my best girl?" I was Uncle Pat's only girl, with all boys of his own.
"I hope not."
"Scout! You doubt me?"
I felt bad.
"No. I love you, Uncle Pat."
"That makes two of us, then. Any more questions?"
"Promise you won't laugh?"
"Promise."
"Can the lawyers yell at me and stuff, like on TV?"
"Well, I won't lie – they can try to, but the judge doesn't usually stand for any nonsense like that, in real life. Plus, you'll have a lawyer so he should be looking out for you, too. And Darry will be there- you know he'd never let anything involving you get too out of hand."
I thought about that – I wasn't so sure Darry would go up against a lawyer or a judge. Tough as he was, he still respected authority, for the most part.
"That help at all? Anything else I can say to ease your fears?"
"Yeah, it helps. Darry said pretty much the same thing."
"Well, you know, your brother's a pretty smart guy. You shouldn't really discount what he says, especially about you. He's always got your best interest in mind."
"Yeah, I know. Turns out he's actually a pretty good guy." Darry was sitting with Soda in the living room but eying me, listening to the conversation and measuring my anxiety level. I stuck my tongue out at him and he winked at me.
"Well, if he's still around, and you don't have any more questions, you think you could pass me back to him for another minute?"
"Yeah. Thanks for your help, Pat – and I really do miss you. It's real good to hear your voice." I actually teared up a bit as I said it. I wiped them away quickly, hoping Darry didn't notice.
"No problem, Scout – and good luck in court – you'll be fine, though. Just tell the truth. Hey, you know what? I'll give you a call Friday night to see how things went, okay?"
"Okay," I agreed. "Here's Darry." I handed the phone off to him and went to claim his spot on the couch next to Soda. I was planning on half watching TV and half listening to Darry's conversation.
"Hey," Soda welcomed me, as I slid up beside him on the couch. "been a long time since a pretty girl like you showed up to sit with just me," he commented.
I laid my head down on his leg and let him reach down to massage my head as I listened to Darry talking to Patrick.
"Really, Pat, you don't have to," Darry was saying – Pat was forever trying to send Darry money and Darry was always refusing. The fact is, we were doing okay without any help, and Pat did have four boys of his own to look out for. I saw both sides – I knew Uncle Pat loved us and felt a responsibility to our Mom and Dad to make sure we were all right, and had more than enough money to send some our way once in a while – but I saw Darry's point too, wanting to prove that he could take care of us on his own – and he was. Darry argued against Pat's help for quite a while but seemed to be relenting a bit as I drifted off. I heard the phone clang again as he hung up. I must have fallen asleep there, though, because suddenly Soda was leaning down, whispering.
"Scout, baby, I hafta go to bed. Can you wake up?"
Slowly, I opened my eyes and sat up.
"Bedtime, baby," Darry said, suddenly there. I groaned, not wanting to move off the couch.
"Where's Pony?" Waking up to one of us missing was always a little disconcerting.
"In bed, probably. He dug himself into a burrow after his little talk with Darry this afternoon and hasn't come out yet," Soda answered. I managed a halfhearted laugh remembering Darry'd had "the talk" with Pony that afternoon.
"Hey, baby – your Coach called, and the baby's sick… tomorrow you don't have to babysit – you can sleep in," Darry said, pulling me up and dragging me into the bedroom. "as long as you want, kiddo – I'll be at work."
Honestly, I was so tired I felt like I could sleep for days. Darry pushed me along into the bedroom and left me to change. I was too tired to go to the bathroom, brush my teeth, or anything All I wanted was to sleep, and by the time Darry came back in to say goodnight I was already halfway there.
"'Night, baby," his hand grazed my forehead as he pulled my sheets up to tuck them around my neck. I momentarily wondered if girls my age who still had parents were ever tucked in at night by their older brothers. I doubted it, but was too tired to protest. And I couldn't really deny liking it, either. His hand on my head was warm and his presence itself was comforting.
"'Night," I mumbled, though it came out as more of a grunt.. He laughed softly.
"Get some sleep tomorrow." He squeezed my hand and left me to sleep.
…..
Sleep I did. I tossed and turned a bit in the morning light, but by the time I actually woke up and looked at the clock it was almost one in the afternoon. There was no doubt I was home alone – someone would definitely have come in to wake me up before then if anyone had been around.
I swung my legs around onto the floor, stretching. It was a strange feeling, being home alone – but for the first time in a while, it wasn't so much scary as it was liberating. I could do anything I wanted until my brothers came home from work.
I wandered out into the kitchen, only to find a note propped up on the table.
Scout,
Hope you slept good. There's sandwich stuff in the refrigerator. Take it easy and enjoy your day off. NO Ben in the house, but you can go over there if Kevin or his mom is home. Don't worry about dinner – it's my night.
Don't make a mess!
It wasn't signed, but it was a typical Darry note, and I had to laugh, especially knowing what a heart attack he'd have if he knew I slept until after noon. Plus, it had to be from him due to the fact that neither Pony nor Soda were in any sort of position to be telling anyone else not to make a mess.
The mention of sandwich stuff had my stomach grumbling and I made myself a ham and cheese sandwich, and sat down to eat at the table. As I ate, the silence in the house started to eat away at me, bite for bite. By the time I'd finished, I couldn't wait to brush my teeth, throw some clothes on, and head over to see Ben.
"Hey," he smiled, opening the door.
"Kevin home?" I asked. I wasn't looking to get Darry mad the day before court.
"At your service," Kevin quipped from somewhere behind Ben. He opened the door wider to reveal Kevin sprawled out on the couch watching TV.
"His day off," Ben explained. "Come on in."
I headed into the living room, noticing that Kevin was watching Batman.
"Educational TV?" I asked.
"Hey, I graduated. I don't need any education this summer." Kevin's eyes didn't leave the screen. "You two don't have to stay in here, but no closed doors. You got that, Benjamin?"
"Yes, Kevin," Ben mocked. "I got that."
"Know what, Ben? You want to break Darry's rules for Scout, I'll have him take that up with you. Don't kill the messenger." Kevin added in a hand gesture for emphasis, still not turning his head.
"It's fine," I interjected. "You don't have to worry, Kevin. We don't need to close any doors, because nothing's gonna happen that we have to hide, anyway."
"That don't mean you get to spy on us, though," Ben grumbled as I dragged him by the hand down the hall to his bedroom. I sat down on his bed and pulled him down next to me.
"So, no babysitting, today?"
"Laura's sick. I'm all done for the summer."
"So that means we get to hang out now? I no longer have to play second fiddle to your job?" He laughed – he was actually jealous that I had a way to make money. He mowed a few lawns for people in the neighborhood but had ho regular income.
"Yup," I smiled. I'd miss Laura – but I was looking forward to the last few weeks of summer with no commitments.
His eyes met mine and for that second I felt nothing but happy.
"You have court Friday, huh?"
My happiness disappeared immediately.
"Yeah."
"Hey," he reached out to me, lifting my chin. "I didn't mean to upset you. Everything will go great. I thought you were looking forward to it – I mean, maybe helping out with the money if you win and all?" His eyes met mine again, questioningly this time.
"It's not if we win I'm worried about."
"What, then?" he took my hand and rubbed it in his. "I thought if you didn't win nothing bad happened."
"That's what everybody says," I agreed. "But I don't believe it. I just – I don't know, Ben… I just always feel like I'm going to say something bad or wrong and mess things up. Darry says I can't, my Uncle Patrick says I can't – but I still worry."
"You can't," he whispered in my ear, grazing a kiss along my cheek. "Do you believe me?"
I wanted to – I really did. But just as I knew I should have believed Darry and Pat, I was hesitant to believe Ben as well. It wasn't like I thought they were lying to me – I was pretty sure they wouldn't, but I just plain didn't trust the court system. But it was my problem, not Ben's, and I didn't want him to feel bad.
"Yeah," I lied.
He gave me a look that made it pretty clear that he knew it, too – but didn't pursue it. Instead he took the route of redirecting me, presumably to get my mind off things – a route on which I was more than happy to join him.
He jumped up, pulling me up with him.
"Wanna go for a walk?"
"Yeah. Yeah, I do." I wasn't sure if a walk around the neighborhood was still within the boundaries of Darry's rules, but I felt like if I didn't get outside I was going to go crazy. Pony had told me once that ever since the church fire he couldn't ride in elevators – the fact that if anything happened he couldn't get out made him panic – right then I knew exactly how he felt. Being closed in was stifling me, and the thought of spending a day in a dark, windowless courtroom was just about more than I could take. I hoped Darry would understand.
We walked down to the lot, and I loved Ben for finding stuff to talk about the whole time, trying to keep my mind off things. In my experience with brothers, boys weren't usually the best at holding up their end of the conversation, but he did his best, updating me on Kevin's on again-off again relationship with Kate, his mom's latest horror stories from the ER, and his own boredom in the absence of not only me while I was babysitting, but also two of his best buddies who had gone away on vacation with their families. We had walked to the corner and been sitting on the rock in the lot for about fifteen minutes when there was the distinct sound of a car pulling up behind us. Both of us turned, and, not recognizing the car right away, stood up. Ben nudged me so that he was between me and the car, and I could feel him tense.
We stood, frozen, for a second, the glare of the sun preventing us from seeing through the windshield. Both of us shielded our eyes as the driver side door opened, reflecting the sun right into our eyes. The door closed, my eyes adjusted, and I was relieved to see that it was Tim Shepard. It wasn't, however, his own car that he had stepped out of. He walked over and stood in front of us.
I could see Ben relax a little bit, but he remained wary, and his hand sought out mine.
"Ben, right?" Tim looked down at us and I could see why he scared everyone so much. His demeanor with me alone was far different than the way he presented himself in public.
"That's right," Ben answered, and I could see that, as much as a kid his age could, in the face of Tim Shepard, he wasn't going to act intimidated, regardless of how he actually felt.
"You dating little Curtis, here?" He motioned to me.
"Her name's Scout, and yeah, she's my girlfriend." He squeezed my hand. I can't imagine that any guy would be terribly comfortable with his girl being in the presence of Tim Shepard.
"Yeah, I know her name." He stared at Ben and for a few seconds nothing more was said. Ben, to his credit, didn't look away.
"Tell your brother Kevin I said hello," Tim said, and immediately turned his attention to me.
"I'm looking for Darrel." Even in the face of whatever hero worship I had for him, and to spite the heat, I shivered. Something about him was different than the interactions I'd had with him in the past. Ben squeezed my hand and pulled me a bit closer.
"He's at work." I would have assumed he'd know that. "I thought you were working with him, I mean I just saw you yesterday."
"Yeah, well, something else came up this morning. And he's not there, today. So where's he workin' at?"
"I don't know, Tim. I mean, he was gone before I woke up."
"He don't leave you an address or something? I mean, you know, to call him if there's an emergency?"
"I'm supposed to call Soda at the station if I need something."
He continued to stare me down, and I looked away. I'd wrestled the guy in a bed at Buck's with no embarrassment, but all of a sudden the way he was acting was making me real uncomfortable.
"Are you seriously telling me your brother leaves you home alone with no idea where he is?" Hearing Tim say it did make it sound very un-Darrylike. For a while after the time he'd gone missing he'd written his worksites on the calendar but that had pretty much fallen by the wayside as of late.
"Yeah, I mean – when he's working for someone else, I can call the company and they'll know where he is, but… when he's doing jobs on his own, no, I don't know where he is."
Tim looked extremely displeased with that answer.
"What's the matter? I mean, is there some sort of emergency?"
"No," his intensity seemed to take a calculated step backward, and his demeanor softened a bit. I felt Ben's hand relax and I marveled at how well Ben could read guys already. Maybe it was in greaser genetics or something – the ability to sense and adjust to the appropriate level of danger.
"No, it ain't an emergency. I just need to talk to him, is all. What time does he get home, usually?"
"Around five. Sometimes a little earlier."
"Alright, well, if I ain't already tracked him down by then, I'll stop by."
"Okay." As much as I didn't really want Tim around the house when I was already stressed out about court, I didn't really think "No" was an option.
"Tim, is he in some kind of trouble?" Now he had me wondering why Darry wasn't at the same site as the previous day. He wasn't done there. He didn't ever like leaving things unfinished before getting started on something new.
"No."
His answer was too fast, and it was very obvious that there was more to it, but equally obvious that he had no intention of discussing the additional details with me.
"I'll tell him you were looking for him," I said.
He nodded, and he started to turn back toward the car but seemed to think better of it, turning back to face me.
"You okay, kid?" his gaze softened a bit. "I mean, nobody's giving you any trouble any more, are they?"
"I'm okay."
He turned to face Ben, and his eyes instantly changed. The potential for real violence concealed within was suddenly unmistakable.
"You ever hurt or take advantage of her and I find out about it, you're a dead man," he said, matter-of-factly.
To his credit, again, Ben didn't even flinch.
"Not gonna happen. Ever."
"He wouldn't, Tim," I said. "Really."
"Good. Because I meant what I said." And with that, Tim Shepard turned, slid back into the mystery car and was gone.
And suddenly I wasn't sure what exactly to be worried about anymore.
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A/N: Thanks you, as always, for sticking with me. I can't even feel justified in asking people to check in anymore since I have been so bad about updating, but I always appreciate knowing who is still reading. Court! next chapter. Drama! This Christmas, I asked for my muse to come back. If It does, once the holidays are over I'll actually have time again to write! ~sama