Chapter 49
People from the Past
"I'm Only Human"- the Human league
Kyle (POV)
"Dr. Trager?" One of my inters Dr. Lee finally spoke up after a few moments of hovering behind me as I assisted Dr. Fords in closing up the patient, currently on the operating table.
"What can I do for you Dr. Lee?" I asked remaining focused on the sutures I was conducting.
"Um Chief Stone," She spoke nervously. "He wants to see you in his office."
"Did he happen to say what it was about?" Dr. Fords beat me to asking.
"No, sir, just that he would like to see Dr. Trager." She spoke quickly and her heart rate increased. This was something that I had grown used to of Dr. Lee. She was always worried that she would make a mistake.
"Tell him we're just finishing up and that I'll be there once we've scrubbed out." I ordered and Dr. Lee scurried out of the O.R.
"Interns," He chuckled. "Always so squirrely."
"She's just nervous." I commented, finishing my last suture.
"Yeah, well once again Dr. Trager it was wonderful working with you this morning. It looks like we're all done here." He said and I followed him to scrub out.
"What do you think Chief Stone wants?" I contemplated as I dried my hands off.
"Probably wants to fire you," He said blatantly and followed with a laugh. "Don't worry so much, you're his golden boy."
"Thanks," I sighed, "We're still scheduled for the craniotomy tomorrow, right?"
"That was canceled; patient went on life support this morning. It's too risky." He said with a heavy sigh as we left the O.R.
"Well if it isn't the wonder twins." Dr. Robins had been teasing us with that nick name since we spent 16 hours in the O.R. repairing a guy's spine when he came in unconscious after a climbing accident last week.
"How are you doing Dr. Robins?" I asked with a smile as I rested my knuckles on the surface of the nurse's desk.
"I am fabulous as long as you don't get pulled into surgery this afternoon." She was referring to not missing Amanda's doctor's appointment.
"Don't worry I promised my wife I would be there, 3 o'clock sharp." I assured.
"You cut it close last time." She reminded me in a scolding tone.
"Give the guy a break Robins," Dr. Fords chimed in with a chuckle.
"I have to go see Chief Stone," I said. "I'll see you at three."
They nodded and mumbled a 'see you later' before I turned to leave. I strolled down the hall and across the cross walk to the Chief's office in the south wing of the hospital.
"Hello, Cindy." I greeted, "Dr. Lee said the Chief wanted to see me."
"Oh! Yes go right in, darling," She smiled kindly.
"Good morning Chief," I greeted as I shuck his hand.
"Please Dr. Trager have a seat." He replied, taking his own seat at his desk.
"What, ah, did you need to see me about sir?" I questioned, calmly.
"Kyle," He used my first name, that usually wasn't a good sign. "We have a patient in the oncology unit requesting to see you. She's claiming to be your mother."
"What- What is her name, sir?" I stumbled on my words slightly. What would Nicole be doing in the oncology unit?
"She has stage four liver cancers-"
"Sir what is her name?" I asked again with a hint of sternness.
He scanned the patient file, "Grace Kingsley, the different last name struck me as odd."
I sat back for a moment; part of me always knew that this would happen. Not under these circumstances but I knew that one day I would have to meet her. But why come to my work place it was too direct for it to be a scheme of Latnok's.
"Grace Kingsley is my biological mother. I was adopted at a young age." I spun the story a little.
"Kyle, you don't have to meet this woman if you don't want to. We can- we can take care of this for you." He was a little taken back. Me being adopted had never come up in conversation.
"Let me sort things out, before I make a decision." I said after a long moment of deliberation.
"I understand," He paused and glanced over the file again. "Do you want to know her diagnoses?"
I thought about it for a second. Legally he was allowed to tell me since we were technically related; however it was an invasion of privacy. Then again she isn't one who seems to understand privacy.
"You said she has stage four liver cancer," I said and he nodded. "What's the chance of survival?"
"She was diagnosed a year ago, only around 3.5% of-"
"Make it to their fifth year." I finished, already knowing the statistic myself.
"I'm sorry Kyle; you can take the rest of the day off. If you decide to see her she's in room 204."
I nodded not really processing what he was saying but mumbled a thank you before leaving. I quickly changed out of my scrubs and made my way out of the hospital and to my car in a zombie state. I sat in the front seat without starting the car. I rested my head back on the head rest and thought about what Chief Stone had just informed me of. Grace Kingsley was in the hospital and wanted to see me and was dying of liver cancer. I thought back to a conversation I had had with Nathan just after Christmas.
FLASHBACK
It was late in the evening, Brice was tucked in bed, Amanda was finishing some work in her office and Nathan and I were hunkered down in my office of our new home. We were caught up in talking about Latnok and Grace Kingsley and all of the topics that stemmed from there. I had given him one of Adam's journals recently and he was astonished. I had yet to give him the notes that had been recorded of him.
"Do you ever think the day will come that we will meet Grace?" He asked, lounging on one of the two brown leather chairs that faced my oak desk that I was seated at. On the wall behind me and to the left of me we had installed floor to ceiling bookshelves.
"Are you asking if I want to?" I clarified as I sat up a little in my chair.
He nodded and I thought about it for a moment. I glanced at the pictures Amanda had framed. There was one of her, Brice and me and the other a copy of the first ultrasound of the baby, that were place on my desk. I pondered over the love that I already felt for this child that wasn't even close to being born yet, purely, because the baby was a part of Amanda and me and because it was a living person, a child. I wondered if Grace had ever had those feeling or thoughts about Nathan or me, or if she just saw us in a scientific way.
"I don't know, Nathan. I've always been the one to give people the benefit of the doubt but with Grace, I'm not sure I can." I sighed. "She would have to earn a lot of respect."
"That's understandable. I've just been having a hard time comprehending how someone so cold could even exist." He had been getting a better understanding of Grace from Adam's journals.
"How was it that Adam described her," I recalled. "A stone hearted genus of a lady." I chuckled.
"That's how our father described our mother, that- that has to say something." He added with a laugh of his own.
"It's a mystery how Latnok thought to use Grace as our mother. However with Adam we know why, he was the creator of the experiment as well as the result of an experiment himself." I thought out loud for a moment.
"I was actually having a similar conversation with Nicole and she pointed out to me that if Grace hadn't made her contribution to the experiment than you and I probably would be a part of each other's lives let alone brothers. If it wasn't for her reopening the experiment, well, I may not even be here." What he was saying made sense, even if I didn't want to acknowledge that she had been capable of doing some good.
"That's true," I mumbled as I glanced out the windows into the darkness and watched as the snow collected on the window sill. "We should probably get to bed though, it's getting late."
He nodded and we evaded the office and ended our conversation for the night.
END OF FLASHBACK
But why just me? Why didn't she want to see Nathan too? Or was seeing me just a way for her to get to Nathan? Nathan was her project and I was Adam's, and as far as I knew, she considered Nathan a success. I needed to think through whether I was going to see Grace or not. If I went straight to Foss he would say it was a bad idea and not want me to see her. However, I have to admit that there is a small part of me who wants to see what she has to say. I decided to call the one person who would be rational about this situation.
"Hey," I said once I heard the line pick up.
"Hey Kyle," It was Jessi on the other end. "I thought you were at work."
"I was given the rest of the day off." I mumbled a little into the phone.
"Is something wrong?" She must have heard something in my voice.
"Is there any way we can meet?" I asked hoping she would have some free time.
"Yeah, I have some time. Kyle what's wrong?" She asked again sounding even more concerned.
"I'll explain when I see you, everything's fine." I tried my best to sound encouraging. "I'll meet you at the usual place."
She agreed and I started the car and pulled out of the parking lot, heading toward the highway. After 27 minutes of driving I came to the exit that led to rout twelve. I parked the car three spaces away from the front entrance of the dinner. I strode in and sat down at the booth with the red leather seats and the carvings on the table. A young waitress couldn't have been more than 17 came over and took my drink order and left saying she would be back in a moment. Before she had the chance to come back Jessi's car appeared in the parking lot. I watched through the window as she got out and made her way inside.
Jessi had moved back to Washington, she didn't live in Seattle but she still lived close enough for easy contact. This dinner was a midpoint between Seattle and the small town she lived in. The communication between us had been strained for years however in the last year we've been working on it. Now, with some time to mature, our feelings for one another have become that of caring siblings or long childhood friends. She had Elliot and I had Amanda, we were happy.
"What's the problem?" She got straight to the point as she joined me at the table.
"Grace Kingsley." I said flatly, staring aimlessly at my hands on the table.
"What about her?" She asked calmly. I could feel her eyes barring into me with concern.
"She's at the hospital," I said.
"Kyle, I know we usually can figure out each other's encrypted messages but I having a really hard time here." She admitted.
Before I had a chance to elaborate the waitress, whose name tag said Lora, came back with my water. She asked for our lunch orders and we turned her away.
"Grace has been admitted to the hospital, she's undergoing treatment for stage four liver cancer." I explained as I peered into my glass of water. "She wants to meet me."
Jessi was quiet for a moment. Her mouth opened slightly then closed, at a loss for words.
"What- What are you going to do?"
"I don't know…" I muttered, sitting back in the booth running my hand through my hair.
"Do you think Latnok is behind this?" She asked.
"It's too direct to be Latnok." I thought out loud. "She's dying."
"You think it's a mother's last attempt to reach out?" She analyzed.
"I have no idea," I sighed. "But even if it is, why would she expect me to agree to meet her? After everything she's done."
"Maybe because she knows you're the kind of person who will do anything for someone." Jessi explained. How could I deny a dying persons request?
We talked for a little while longer before I noticed the time. I left the waitress a tip on the table even though we didn't order anything, I felt bad for using the booth without her receiving anything to gain.
"Let me know what you end up doing." Jessi said as she got into her little gun metal grey car.
I nodded and she drove off. It was 2:20 and I had to get to the hospital to make it back in time for the appointment. I made the drive back and pulled into the parking lot at 2:48, I had twelve minutes to spare.
"Hey, sorry I'm late." I said, kissing Amanda on the cheek as I took the empty seat next to her in the waiting room of Dr. Robin's office. "When did you get here?"
"About ten minutes ago." She said calmly as she closed the magazine she was looking at. "Where were you?" She asked taking note that I wasn't wearing my scrubs.
"I had coffee with Jessi." I didn't see a point in lying about that.
"Is everything okay?" She whispered. There were two other couples in the waiting room with us and two other young girls.
"Everything's fine." I smiled as I took her hand and squeezed it gently. This wasn't the place to talk about Grace.
"Amanda Trager?" One of the nurses, Jenny, called and she showed us to an exam room.
She took Amanda's weight and blood pressure and asked general questions. She also had Amanda change into a gown so that the exam would be easier for Dr. Robins.
"What's really going on?" She asked once we were alone in the room.
She was sitting perched on the exam table with her legs dangling off the edge.
"Grace Kingsley reached out to me." I admitted as I stepped closer to her side and placed one hand on the small of her back and the other rested on her hands folded over her stomach.
"How?" She didn't look at me.
"She's on the third floor, she's a patient." I clarified. "She has stage four liver cancer and she requested to see me."
"Requested to see you?" Amanda was able to say however I was unable to answer because Dr. Robins was knocking at the door.
"Well hello!" She greeted. "How are you feeling today, Amanda?"
"I'm good." She answered swiftly as if our previous conversation never happened. "I'll be happy to know if we're having a boy or girl."
"And you're both sure you want to know?" She double checked as she paused to listen to Amanda's heart.
"Well since Kyle will be able to tell by the ultrasound, I figured I might as well know too." Amanda rationalized.
"Hopefully we'll be able to get a clear enough image." Dr. Robins acknowledged as she prepared the ultra sound machine.
"Like always, this will be a little cold." She warned as she squeezed the gel onto Amanda's very round stomach that had been growing larger these last few months.
She wove the wand around trying to get a good image. The sound of the baby's heart beat was intensified. I watched as Amanda's grin grew larger, it happened every time we were able to hear the baby's heart beat. I laced my fingers with hers and gave her hand a gentle squeeze.
"You're sure you want to know?" She double checked with a sly grin.
Amanda just nodded eagerly.
"Okay," She turned the monitor to us. "Congratulations, you're having a little girl."
"A girl," I grinned even wider.
"A little girl!" She beamed.
My eyes diverted back to the ultrasound as I saw the baby's arms squirming about. I had so much love for this child that wasn't even born yet. This little girl already had claimed a huge space in my heart. She is my daughter, my little girl. She is a part of me and a part of Amanda, our child.
"It looks like you're on track with being around five and a half months along." Dr. Robins explained. "She looks healthy, you're at a normal weight everything looks good. Do you have any concerns?"
"I'm still dealing with some morning sickness but other than that everything is fine." Amanda answered as Dr. Robins cleaned off the gel from Amanda's stomach.
"I'll have one of the nurses get you something for the nausea and you can pick up the copies of the ultrasound when you schedule your next appointment at the front desk." She instructed. "Everything looks great though."
Dr. Robins gave us a minute for Amanda to change back into her regular clothes.
"We're having a girl," Amanda smiled as I helped her off of the table.
"It's amazing." I smiled. "I have to get started on the nursery soon."
"That's right," She agreed as she slipped back into her normal clothes.
We were quiet for a moment and I knew she wanted to go back to our conversation we were having about Grace.
"What are you going to do about Grace?" She finally asked once she had slipped her shoes on.
"She's dying," I sighed. "I think…I think I should at least talk to her."
"Are you sure that's what you want to do?" She asked as she placed her hand on my chest stepping closer to me.
"I honestly don't think Latnok is behind this one. I think it's just her trying to reach out." I said resting my hands on the small of her back. "I want you to pick the boys up from school and I'll meet you at my parent's house like we planned."
We were meeting everyone at Stephen and Nicole's for family dinner and to reveal the sex of the baby. I didn't want to ruin that for her.
"I'll meet you at the house." I said.
"Are you sure this is safe?" She asked as she cupped my cheek in her hand.
"Yeah, I'll meet you at my parents. I won't be long; I just want to see what she wants." I assured her.
"Okay," She nodded, her heart rate was slightly elevated and I could tell she was nervous.
"I'll be fine." I smiled.
We left the exam room and she scheduled our next appointment. I walked her out to the car and again assured her that I would be okay. I watched her drive away before I walked back into the hospital.
I paused outside Grace's door; my hand hovered on the handle. I had read her chart and there was no doubt that she was dying. It was only a matter of days at this point. I had a mental battle with myself before I finally opened the door.
"I didn't think you were coming." Her voice was frail and the way she looked was even worse. Her hair had fallen out, I assumed from the chemo treatment, and her bones were very prominent. She couldn't weigh more than a hundred pounds.
"I'm here now." I said, standing awkwardly at the foot of her bed.
"You look just like Adam." She finally said after a moment of silence. "Nathan…He took on most of Adam's qualities as well."
I nodded not really knowing what to say.
"Grace, I really don't know what you expect me to say." I admitted.
"I don't expect you to say anything Kyle." She replied. "I just wanted to apologize."
Again I didn't say anything; I just waited for her to continue.
"I know that I can't make up for everything Latnok has put you and your family through, however I still want to say that I'm sorry."
"Are you asking for my forgiveness?" I asked.
She shook her head very slowly and weakly. "No, I know my apology doesn't mean much but I had to say it."
"Grace, I know that you're dying, and I know it's from liver cancer." I said. "I also know that the cancer is from years of alcohol abuse."
"I spent a lifetime trying to convince myself that I was doing the right thing by working with Latnok. Alcohol was the only way I could." She replied with an attempt to smile.
"It was your outlet." I nodded.
"There is another reason I wanted to see you." She confessed. "In my bag over there, there is an external hard drive, that I want you to have."
I hesitantly picked up her black leather bag and retrieved the external hard drive.
"You may not like what you find, but I think you… deserve to know what is bound to come."
"What do you mean?" I questioned.
"Kyle, you're body is… ultimately going to… fail itself." She elaborated, "Like Adam's did."
It was what I had feared for months. For someone to actually confirm it was entirely different.
"Grace, I hope you can understand where I'm coming from when I say this but how do I know I can trust you?" I felt guilty having to voice my concerns.
"Have you had any nose bleeds?" She countered.
I stayed quiet.
"When Adam first began… the experiment it was a problem… he had, that was until you of course." She paused taking a long deep breath; I noticed her pulse ox had dropped. "Every time he attempted to extract the sub- the child,"
"The child died." I finished.
"There were…two cases when the….child lived for…a few days." She paused and took a breath every few words. "In both cases…the child… experienced… system failure… that started…with nose bleeds."
She closed her eyes focusing hard on her breathing. She drew each breath in deeper than the one before. Each one more labored than the last. Here she was the woman who I was led to believe was calling all the shots at Latnok in such a vulnerable state. Over the years there has always been a part of me that has feared her and what she was capable of. But now she's feeble and the part of me that feared her now feels sorry for her. I couldn't help but feel guilty that she was here dying and alone. I felt responsible for that. For what I did to Cassidy, to her son.
I moved one of the chairs to her bed side and took a seat. In every sense of the word she wasn't my mother, however she was biologically related to me. The least I could do was sit with her until she fell asleep.
AN: Hey everyone! I know it's been an extremely long time since I've updated *cough* almost two months *cough* and I could spew lame excuses but the fact of the matter is I haven't had time. Hopefully the fact that this chapter is close to 4,000 words makes up for the long wait. I know I ask this at the end of every authors note and get very few responses; however I'm still going to ask. What did everyone think? Any thoughts on Grace? Or on the baby being a girl? Please leave a comment and I'll be happy to reply! Thanks as always for reading and I hope you liked it!