A/N: It's time for the next chapter, but before that I want to thank all the readers, your love towards my fic makes me happy! Also, from now on I'll give separated thanks/answers to everyone who has reviewed, because I've been asked many questions, and because I'm used to it.
Valkyrie99: Thank you for your comment. Active readers/reviewers like you give me the needed energy boost and motivation to update fast.
inogurl: Great thanks for you too, I'm happy if the latest chapter touched you. I personally love emotional fics and I'm glad that I've captured the mood correctly.
Rhee-chan: You love my writing? Thank you for your kind words. And yes, Antonio is going to be a dense idiot. We all love him the way he is, no?
the killer imperfectionist: Yay! Thank you for your feedback. I'm glad you like my fic. Actually, I'm aware that Candice is more of a Greek name, but she's a very old OC of mine from another series and there is a reason for her not having Spanish name albeit she's Spanish. I'll write more about her background in the future, some of it even in this chapter.
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Also, I want to thank WeAllFlyHigh, Red eyes black phoenix, Unknown Variable, Crazy4animeCouples, Scarlet daydreamer, lai-shai, Alisboa, Ichigo-the-Deathberry and pg for commenting on the previous chapters, as well as those fabulous people who have favorited/ who follow this fic actively. Hopefully you all will stick with me to the very end ~3~
I think this chapter came out quite well, some back story for the Carriedos. I never meant this chapter to be this dark but I didn't know where to stop so it came quite angst-filled. And I'm sorry that the current chapters have been very Antonio-less, but from the next chapter on his role are going to be much bigger. Please, read and review!
XOXOXOXO
Chapter 4.
Lovina spent another 30-or-so minutes on the phone before she managed to end the call. As much as she loved to chat with her sister, Feliciana was a very talkative person and had a bad habit to go on and on of all kinds of things and cutting her off had to be one of the hardest things in the entire world. Luckily Candice had come to pick her up which had given Lovina a proper reason to stop the conversation (more like her sister's endless gibbering). It was definitely a good thing since she doubted that the Carriedos wouldn't be pleased if she caused them massive phone bills.
Lovina removed her dress quickly, because at long range it would be uncomfortable to wear, and replaced it with a blue medium-scale skirt and a similar shaded t-shirt. Then, after she was done, she hurried out of her room to Candice who was waiting for her patiently.
"I see you're done. It's getting a bit late, so I assume it is okay for you if I only show you the indoors and leave the rest for tomorrow?"
"Yeah, that'd be good", Italian agreed.
"Good, come on then."
XOXOXO
They started their tour from the second floor. Most of the rooms were bedrooms that were occupied by the workers. Lovina heard Candice tell which room belongs to who but Lovina didn't pay much attention since she knew no workers by their names. Then there were a few bathrooms, laundry room and a cleaning closet, where they stopped for a moment so that the Italian could take a quick look of the tools she'd be using at work. After that they continued their journey, checking the remaining rooms in the upper floor. More bedrooms, most of them guestrooms, and lastly a big living room with several sofas and armchairs, a TV, radio, massive bookshelf filled with all kinds of books and it even had a small "cooking corner" with microwave, coffeemaker and a small fridge.
They skipped the balcony and went to downstairs to continue their tour. There were a few bedrooms too, but lot less than upstairs and they were all even bigger; same with the bathrooms. For Lovina's surprise, they even had a gym in the apartment, and two office-like rooms that were most likely Mr. and Mrs. Carriedos' working rooms. Then they went to kitchen via the dining room. The head chef was French and apparently his nephew was Antonio's best friend (not that Lovina cared). He spoke with a very heavy accent but Lovina understood most of his words nonetheless. The man was eager to demonstrate the kitchen equipment for then Italian and even asked if she'd have some good recipes that he could use since he was still very new to Italian cuisine. Lovina promised to get him a few of his grandma's old recipes when she had a change to do so.
After they were let away from the kitchen (which took a while since the cooks wanted badly Lovina to try some of their cooking), they went to the last room, which was a huge double-barreled living room. Room's décor was very similar to the one upstairs, but this room had a fireplace and a bunch of shelves that were filled with family photos. Lovina took a quick look at some of them and in almost every picture of there was Antonio, only exceptions being the few wedding photos she was able to detect. Lovina grabbed one of the photos and looked at it more closely; it had all the three Carriedos in it but two little detail got her attention. First, Mr. Carriedo was smiling at the picture, which alone wasn't that incredible (everyone had to smile sometime, no?), but it was quite old picture and Lovina had to admit that the young Mr. Carriedo looked a lot like Antonio. They had similar jaw and nose and they both had those gorgeous green eyes, even if Antonio's eyes were a bit brighter. The second thing the Italian noticed was the blank and sad look on little Antonio's face (he couldn't be older than five in the photo), as if he was sick. And it wasn't the only picture, but on the most of the baby or pre-school photos he had a sort of a tired, sad and painful look on his face.
Lovina kept wondering if he had hated the camera when he was a little (like Lovina herself had) and didn't enjoy being filmed but her thoughts were interrupted when Candice asked her to sit down. The Italian sat down on a wine-red armchair opposite Candice who places a small stack of papers on the round glass table. She pulled a pen from her pocket and scribbled something on the paper before nailing her brown eyes on the teen.
"So, you like what you saw?" she asked with interest when she refined her grip from a pen, and let out a small genuine laugh when Lovina told she had really liked the tour.
"Good. Now, I thought this is a good time for us to fill our contract", she mused as she placed the pen on the paper again. "We already filled most of the contract via phone earlier this week and we just need to make few additions", she explained. Lovina nodded in agreement.
"First, how you want me to pay for you? Entire months wage at once or do you want me to split it on two lots?" Candice asked.
"On two lots, please." After hearing the Italian's answer the Spaniard nodded and made some markings on the paper.
"What about the shifts? Do you prefer morning or evening and is there some important events for coming you and you need a day of?"
Lovina remembered her talk and the promise she made to Feliciana. "Umm… I think both are fine, you can choose freely the option that is more suitable for you", the Italian told. She liked sleeping late but she'd get used to early wakeups if she had to. "And I don't have any requirements for holidays, except that my sister and I have birthday on 17th this month, so if possible I'd like to have that day free. I can even replace it with some Saturday or Sunday if needed." Lovina was supposed to have all weekends free.
"Of course, it'll be no trouble! I understand that you want to spent some time with your family on your special day and actually, your relatives are always welcome to visit you here", Candice agreed brightly making more adds to the paper before handing it over to the Italian to read and sign.
Lovina read the contract through carefully, not that she was mistrusting Candice, but who knew if one specific person had made unwelcome additions to the contract? It, however, seemed to be flawless so the Italian grabbed the pen and signed. When done, she gave the papers back to Candice.
"Ah, thank you! I go take a copy of this", she piped up and hurried out of the room.
XOXOXO
It took a few minutes before Candice returned. She was carrying a small plastic bag and on her other hand there was the contract papers. The Spaniard gave the teen her copy of the contract and pulled a juice canister from the bag as well as a two plastic cups and a pack of cookies. She filled the cups and gave Lovina the blue one. She also offered her the cookies but the Italian declined them. She had already eaten more than what she was used to. Lovina wasn't sure what was about to happen next. She had expected that after receiving the contract she'd been free to go do whatever she wanted for the rest of the evening but it seemed like Candice wanted her to stay there.
"Now that we're done with the paper work, I want to tell you a few things", Candice spoke pompously. "You'll start working on Monday, and before you start working alone you'll work two weeks with Briseida - you met already; she'll educate you for your tasks. And then, another thing you should know about, smoking is absolutely forbidden." Candice's tone change from cheery to serious at this point, "I know your application told me you don't smoke, and I'm not saying you lie, but at your age it's natural you want to try new things. I'm okay with alcohol if it's only few glasses of wine or so every now and then, but smoking is an absolute no. At this house there is people with respiratory diseases, and I can tell from experience that even tiny bit of a smoke may have an unwelcome effects. "
Candice went on and on about the topic, mentioning few other things that were not recommended, like bringing hairy animals (well, Lovina had no pets, so it was no problem) to the house. Italian listened carefully. She wanted to internalize as much information as possible and didn't want to break any of the rules. When Candice stopped she asked if the Italian had any questions for her, which she really didn't, except for one. One thing had puzzled her since the first time she had talked with Candice. The time she had told her that she would get the job; why her. She had no actual special skills that would be helpful in this job nor did she have any other skills either. Only thing she had ever been good at besides cooking was painting and football. Not exactly what this job required.
"Umm… is there any specific reason why I was picked?" Lovina asked hesitantly. Her question surprised Candice. "I mean", the teen continued with a troubled voice. "I bet there were many applicants that had more experience and accomplishments that I do."
"Oh, well… I think personality is far more important than experience. Besides, we all are inexperienced at some point and everyone needs to work sooner or later, no?" Lovina noticed easily that something was off in the situation. She sensed the nervousness in her voice and the teen didn't quite buy the woman's explanation. There was a catch somewhere, there had to be, and the young Italian wanted to know what it was.
"No, I really want to know why, no matter what the reason is", Lovina demanded, hoping that she would not be pushing boundaries whit her questions.
Candice let out a heavy sigh. "Fine then, I hope you won't get mad at me. You see… it's partly how I said just a moment ago, but also because of your age."
"What has my age to do with anything?" Lovina insisted. She needed to know or it would bother her forever.
"Well, you see… I wanted to have someone who's close to Toni, age-wise that is", Candice confessed, a bit embarrassed. "The thing is, since we live this far from everything and everyone, Antonio really has no one to spent time with. He has some friends but they live far and seeing them regularly is hard. So, now that we needed a replacement for our retiring maid I thought I should pick someone young who really needs this money and who likes same things as Toni."
Lovina considered for a moment of asking what these similar interests were but she was too speechless. This had to be the weirdest reason ever to pick a worker, and she had heard damn many bizarre explanations during her life. She didn't know how she should have reacted; to be mad or sad or feel something completely different. She only knew that when she was confused she tended to let frogs out of her mouth and this time was no exception. "You never considered having more kids besides Antonio?"
Candice's face dropped. She looked lost and upset and Lovina couldn't help but to mentally slap herself for her lack of discretion. The Spaniard squeezed her chair's armrests and for a moment the teen thought that the older woman would start to cry.
"Oh well, I guess I can tell you this even if I really don't want to talk about this. You'll hear it from somewhere else anyway", Candice sighed, depressed, and rose from her seat and went to grab one of the pictures that lay on the shelf next to the stereos. She pressed the picture tightly against her chest before going back to the Italian teen. Lovina wasn't sure if she wanted to hear the reasons for Candice's grief, she had a bad feeling it would be something really bad.
"You'll see", Candice started very carefully and so silently that Lovina barely heard her. "I always wanted kids, at least one boy and a girl. Sergio wanted too. We were barely adults when we got married but it was no obstacle for us. I got my fair share of the incomes of this farms productions and Sergio had his father's company. The money was no issue for us and we had anything we needed to give a good living-environment for children. So, despite our young age we spent almost the entire honeymoon in bedroom, trying to make a baby. Eventually I got pregnant."
"That was Antonio?" Lovina asked. Usually he'd been 100% sure that she was right since Antonio was the only child but this story would most likely have sad ending (if it didn't Candice would not be this upset about it), so she didn't celebrate yet.
"No, silly. Antonio just had his 20th birthday, I'm positive I look older than a 40-year-old", Candice tried to sound amused and even positively surprised when Lovina had complimented her by saying she look like someone in the mid-thirties, but she couldn't hide the disappointment.
"A-a miscarriage?" Lovina took a second guess and was really shocked when Candice nodded.
"Yes, and it wasn't the only one. It wasn't hard for me to get pregnant, there were the few days in a month when having sex almost guaranteed me to start expect a baby, but every pregnancy ended the same way – the baby died during third month of my pregnancy, at latest."
Lovina would have loved to comfort the Spaniard but she didn't know how. She did understand that it had to be very painful; maybe she had never had kids (well, she was too young for kids anyway) so she didn't know exactly how painful it was, but she had lost both her parents and also witnessed how her usually so cheerful and exuberant grandfather had turned into an alcoholic after Mrs. Vargas had sunken to the coma. "What about Antonio?" Lovina asked. As dramatic and sorrowful this topic was, Candice did have Antonio so there must have been a stroke of luck for her at some point.
"Well, after around ten miscarriages I gave up. I decided I'm never going to try again. The thought of losing another child was so painful that it shut me from the world and I got very depressed. My business went down so badly that Sergio had to take control of it while also doing the work of his own company. I became so delusional that I didn't even let my husband to touch me, as if only a hug or a kiss could have make me go through all those painful things again. It continued over a year, until I got myself very drunk at one business dinner. I don't remember much, I only remember that Sergio dragged me from that stale hallway outside so I could clear my head and suddenly all my sexual tension and all my longing for intimacy erupted. I pressed him against a tree and begged him to fu-", Candice paused, realizing that she almost said a bad word in front of a young girl like Lovina.
"I practically live in ghetto. You can say fuck, it doesn't bother me", Lovina assured. She herself had a bad habit to swear like a sailor so one f-word was nothing.
"Ah, okay. Well, at first he really held it back. He knew how drunk I was and he didn't want to take an advantage of me. However, in the end he wanted me as much I wanted him, and he took me right there on the field."
Lovina listened and was glad that Candice didn't go into the dirty details. Still, Lovina couldn't help but to wonder what Candice's reaction had been when she had sobered up enough, probably troublesome for Mr. Carriedo, at least. "What happened next?"
"Well, when I got my head cleared I freaked out. I didn't remember much from the previous hours, even less than nowadays, and it's been over 20 years since it happened. I screamed and told him I wanted to have a divorce and accused that he took me by force. And even worse, I…"
Lovina couldn't help but to wonder what could possibly be worse than being blamed as a rapist, but then it hit her. Her eyes widened and he couldn't help but to feel pity towards the couple. Those must have been hard times for them if, no HELL of a times if Candice had accused Sergio of being a killer. The Spaniard apparently understood in which conclusion Italian had ended and nodded wearily.
"Candela, Fernando, Pastora, Quillermo… I yelled at Sergio how it was his fault that we were never able to use those names that we had wanted to give our children. I blamed him; I had to have a target where to unload my frustration, sorrow and anger, even if I knew perfectly well that he wasn't guilty. At some point of my raging he had enough; he snapped and me and even started to cry. He said I was being selfish. He had never raised his voice for me before that time, it opened my eyes – he was just as much in pain as I was. He never showed me how badly it hurt him to see me bleed, to see the blood that indicated that we had lost yet another child. He stayed solemn because he thought that his duty was to comfort me and ignore his own sorrow. We were both wrong."
"All this must have been a nightmare for you", Lovina stated compassionately.
"Yes, but that fight that I and my husband had only strengthened our relationship. Also, despite all the tears shed that time it's still of the best days of my life, because approximately nine months later I was holding my little Toni on my arms for the very first time."
All the pieces were together now and Lovina understand a lot better why Antonio had no siblings. If it took a dozen miscarriages before they got a healthy one, then it might take another dozen to have a second child. "I get it, after you finally got healthy child, you saw no reason to torture yourself more and go through more bad things."
For Lovina's surprise Candice shook her head and shoved the photo she had taken earlier into the young Italian's hands. Lovina stared the picture, noticing it was one of those where Antonio was little. If possible, he looked even unhappier in it than on the other pictures Lovina had seen. Lovina gave a questioning look to the Spanish lady who stared her dispirited. "Tell me Lovi, does he seem happy and healthy to you?"
Healthy? It was so-so. Happy? Definitely not. "Y-you mean, he wasn't healthy when he was born?"
Candice shook her head with a sad and disgusted look on her face. "When we went to the first ultrasound the first thing we were told by the staff was to get an abortion. They said that the chances for both of us to survive were only five percent, and the odds for only one of us to make it were over 60%. Well, and the remaining 30… we both would die. They said it would be stupid to risk my own life for a child that would most likely be born dead anyway. I was well aware of the risks but I decided to go all the way no matter what, since I was also well aware that it might have been my only chance to have a baby."
"When the time to give birth came almost everything went wrong. First, it wasn't the time yet, but delivery began over a month too early. Then there were multiple complications and in the end I had to be operated. Both Toni and I were taken to the intensive care unit and after that I lost my consciousness. The next couple weeks are black for – I wasn't aware of anything that happened around me. All the knowledge of those days came later on when the doctors and Sergio filled me in. Apparently it was a very close call for the both of us and at one point Toni even stopped breathing and he had to be resurrected. I was under observation for a month, Toni even longer. In total it took almost two months before we were allowed to leave the hospital but we still had to visit it weekly so that they were able to keep an eye on us, especially on Toni who's immune system was really weak which gave him infections very easily. And he had occasionally difficulties to breathe, which caused him a lot of pain. It lasted many years…"
At that point Candice was no longer able to hold the tears back. Lovina grabbed her hand to hope it would give some comfort. It was weird how a person she barely knew opened up this easily at her for such hard things. Suddenly the Italian felt an urgent need to hug Candice, and so she did so. The Italian's actions surprised Candice but in a good way. She responded to her hug and smoothed the teen's hair, humming gently.
"Lovi, I'm sorry that I opened up like this, I usually don't. I told you a lot more than the others know so I'd be happy if you didn't gossip about this", Candice requested, her eyes still wet. "I also hope that you don't bother yourself too much with this topic – Toni is all good now so no need to worry.
"Y-you know, I-I don't have much many male friends and I usually don't get that well along with guys", Lovina stated firmly, but her voice softened when she continued. "But, I guess I can hang out with Antonio as long as I don't need to be BFFs with him."
Candice's mood brightened and she pulled the Italian to another hug. "Ah, muchas gracias Lovina, you're such a sweet girl." Candice rejoiced and passed the bag to Lovina. "Could you take these to Antonio? I was supposed to give these for him a lot earlier but I forgot."
Lovina blinked but she felt like after what she had put Candice through she had no right to argue and deny. "Well, I guess I have nothing better to do anyway", she claimed and left the room unaware of how Candice dug a pill bottle from her pocket, opened it and poured some of them into her hand before flushing them down on her throat…
XOXOXO
Yay for the angst, all two and a half or so pages of it! Reviews would make me happy!
A side note: I'm planning to do some art of this fic so if there is a specific scene you want me to draw, tell me. In comments or Pm me, doesn't matter. I'll try to post the next chappy soon!