Chapter 2: Valley of Blood
I had a hidden reason, an ulterior motive for taking Renji back to the Sereitei with me. I've had something on my mind for a while now and I wonder how he would react if he knew. Back when Renji and I first got together, there was so much going on. We faced a great deal of danger that we had to escape. We also faced the displeasure of the Kuchiki elders. We needed time to explore this, to know who we are together…to see if this was meant to be.
The past couple of years have been wonderful. I had fears that the pressures placed on us by the council of elders might be too much for him, or that I would somehow ruin things. I couldn't have been more wrong. Normal life with Renji Abarai is everything I imagined and more.
You know when you are with the right person. There's a feeling of closeness that is with you even if you are apart. There is an understanding that you might not always be in agreement, but that you can always work something out, and that there are people you can trust with all of your heart. When you find that, you want to hold on to it. This is what Renji and I share.
There are two things I wanted to tell Renji while we were here. First, I want to form a life partnership with him. I can't imagine life without him now and I want to let him know that in a very profound way.
The second thing is more complicated. Back when the council of elders was pressuring me to produce heirs, Kisuke Urahara said that he had a way that Renji and I could parent a child. It requires a female donor and surrogate, but the process would give us a child with genetic connections to all three involved in the process. There was no way that we were ready for this before. And I didn't want to do it because we were being pressured. But I'm ready now. I just need to know if he feels the same. When things began between us, I wasn't sure that Renji wanted to remain exclusive or even if he wanted it to last all that long. I'm ashamed of how little faith I had in him, but back then I had a lot to deal with.
I know what I want now…only…when the time came to say the words, I froze. My heart caught in my throat and I felt…afraid. I don't know why I was afraid. I just was. And with the attack on the Hueco Mundo Outpost, we had to leave again before we could talk. Now we rush to return and I don't know when we'll have the chance to talk about this. But the thought of it warms me.
"What are you smiling about?" he asks.
We're approaching the base and there isn't time for us to talk. But I have to say something. I want to let him know I have something on my mind. I want to share this with him. I stop just short of the outpost gates and he stops with me.
"Renji, I've been thinking about something. It is important and I wanted to discuss it with you while we were at home, but there wasn't a good time for me to do that. We probably can't talk in privacy here but I promise you, the first chance I get, I want to tell you."
"You can't just tell me now?" he says.
He looks frustrated.
"It isn't the kind of discussion you want to have in two seconds. This will take time. I promise you, Renji, it is a good thing…and it is worth waiting to talk about it," I say, reaching out to touch his shoulder.
"But, Byakuya, we were together every night. We spent a lot of time talking. Why didn't you say anything then?"
"I…wanted to," I have to stop and take a breath, "but I just…every time I tried to say something…I just couldn't. Renji, I wasn't ready. I'm sorry. I should have made myself go ahead and say it. Just know that it is a good thing. And please don't be angry."
"I hate it when you do that."
He's smiling, though, so I know he isn't angry. I will tell him the very first chance I get.
He follows me through the gates into the Hueco Mundo Outpost. The guards bow their heads respectfully as we pass and a messenger moves out ahead of us to let the other officers know we have arrived. We go first to the healing room.
I can see the change in Renji's expression as we approach the bed that holds Rikichi. The boy is unconscious and heavily bandaged. His skin is bathed in sweat and dried blood. Shallow breaths shake his body.
Renji looks stricken. I understand how he feels. He has always felt a sort of brotherly affection for this boy. That is why I placed the job of training him in Renji's capable hands. Since Renji started working with him, Rikichi has risen from an unseated position to 4th seat. I believe Renji is going to recommend him for third seat soon. From what I've seen, the boy is ready. To see him this way is difficult for me, and it is crushing for Renji. I put a hand on his shoulder, but he pulls away and sits down next to Rikichi.
"Hey, kid," he says softly.
Rikichi's eyes flutter open.
"Renji?" he whispers, "You're back."
"Yeah," Renji says, and then he glances up at me for a moment, "I never should have left. I should have been here. I'm sorry, Rikichi."
There is coldness in his words. I know what's underneath. I was the one who gave the order for him to come back with me. And I did it for selfish reasons. If nothing had happened, he would have been fine, but something did happen. Rikichi was injured…and Renji blames himself for not being there. Whether he says it to me or not, he also blames me. It was odd to have both captain and vice captain away, but I judged the ability of our division to be such that it would be fine. I was wrong.
"It's not your fault, Renji," Rikichi assures him, "but Renji, you have to find Kenta. That creature…took him away. You have to help him…please Renji!"
"Hey…take it easy, Rikichi, I will," he promises the boy.
I slip away, leaving Renji to sit at Rikichi's side and I make my way to the watchtowers. I listen as the third seat gives his report, then I return to the healing room. Renji is still where I left him. He's holding Rikichi's hand. I approach him quietly and lay my hand again on his shoulder. He doesn't pull away this time, but when he looks at me, I see the accusation…he's accusing himself and he's accusing me.
"Renji, I'm sorry," I say softly.
He is quiet for a long time, just studying Rikichi's sleeping form. Then he looks up at me.
"I should have been here. I would have been on watch with him. You know that," he says, his eyes pained.
"Yes, Renji, I know. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have given the order for you to return with me. You would have been with Rikichi. You would have protected him."
"This is Hueco Mundo…enemy territory," he goes on, "One of us should have stayed behind."
"Yes," I answer softly, "You're right."
"Are you going to continue the search for Kenta?" he asks, his voice low and controlled.
"Yes," I tell him, "the search party is preparing to leave. I thought we should go along."
"Recon missions and search parties are no place for the captain. That is why you have a vice captain, sir. Besides, someone should stay here and guard against hollow attacks."
I ignore the insubordination. I know he really just needs breathing space. He won't stay angry. Renji Abarai isn't the kind to hold grudges. But he is angry right now. This isn't the time to force the issue.
"Very well, Vice Captain," I tell him, "The search party is in the staging area. They'll be leaving soon. You should go."
As he passes me to leave, he turns his head slightly.
"Captain Kuchiki, could you do me a favor?" he asks softly.
"Yes, Renji, what can I do?"
"Make sure that he's not left alone."
"I will, Renji," I promise him.
After he leaves, I call the 5th seat to the healing room. She is another youthful squad member who knows Rikichi.
"Stay with him," I tell her, "See that he is not left alone."
"Hai, Captain" she says, taking her place next to Rikichi.
I take my leave of them and walk out to the watchtower. I can see the search party walking out with Renji leading. I watch them as the barrier is lowered to let them through, then they disappear into the swirling sands.
XXXXXXXXXX
I shouldn't have left things like that with Byakuya. I could see that he felt guilty already. It just felt so awful, seeing the kid beat up so bad. He's a good kid…a good fighter and he's come a long way, but he still needs guidance. I should have said something. When Byakuya told me I was going back with him, I thought it was a little strange for us both to go…but I didn't say anything. I was too busy thinking about how long it had been since we'd made love and slept in each other's arms. It was selfish. I should have said something. Maybe if I had then he would have admitted what he was doing, why I was going. Maybe I would have asked him to let me stay behind. I don't know. Maybe it wouldn't have mattered. All I know is that I want Rikichi to be okay.
I also need to find his friend. He needs to know what happened to Kenta. I let him down once already. I'm not going to let him down now.
We follow the trail left behind when Kenta was dragged away. I get a sick feeling in my stomach because I know he's probably dead. But he was alive all of this way. Why would the one who took him keep him alive all of this way just to kill him? I imagine it could have wanted to be far away when it devoured Kenta's soul…or maybe it was a hollow capturing someone to interrogate. They wouldn't keep him alive for long in either case. If he was dragged away by something that intended to devour his soul, we should know soon. If he was taken away for interrogation, we'll probably find signs of whatever group took him.
We climb a small hill and move down into a small rocky valley. I get a cold feeling, because there are lots of places for hollow to hide out here. It looks like a good place for an ambush. I warn the group to be watchful and we move forward. We are nearly to the other side, when a terrified scream rises up behind us. Almost immediately, we see shimmering in the air around us. They resolve into shadowy forms that surround us. I have time for only one thought before they reach us and start tearing us apart…Wolves!
XXXXXXXXXX
I stand on a hillside just outside the barrier, watching the horizon, waiting for some sign that the search party is returning. Reaching out with my reiatsu, I fail to sense them anywhere near. I feel a faint touch of Renji's reiatsu, telling me he is still fairly far away. Turning back towards the base, I prepare to lower the barrier. Just as I reach it, I sense something odd in the direction of the search party…an unfamiliar pulsating reiatsu rising up. Suddenly the faint brush of Renji's reiatsu flares and then disappears. Not taking the time to send a messenger back to the base, I flash step across the desert, continuing to read the reiatsu as I go.
As I close in on them, the reiatsu of the search party finally reappears and it is clear that they are fighting…and dying. I cannot get there fast enough. Even the flash step cannot bridge the distance before the reiatsu of the search party begins to fade. I hang on to Renji's reiatsu frantically. He is fighting at full power. He must have used his Ban Kai. I have lost all other reiatsu from his party.
I reach the crest of a hill and stand overlooking a small valley. Even in the fading light, I see the blood of soul reapers spilled out in the rocky sand. The Ban Kai form of Zabimaru rises up and blasts fire up ahead of me.
"Ban Kai, Scatter Senbonzakura Kageyoshi."
The swords rise around me and dissolve into millions of tiny blades. I send them racing across the sand ahead of me. I see Renji now. He is swaying dizzily and drenched in blood. All of the others lie torn upon the ground. I cannot see what it is that has attacked them. The petal blades fly past Renji and flash as they connect with Renji's attacker. Renji fires another red blast and falls to his knees. Whatever his attacker is, it launches itself at him. Then petal blades slash at it, sending it dashing away. It runs up a hill on the opposite side of the valley. It reaches the top and turns back. Blood red eyes meet mine and I hear a rasping whisper in my mind.
"We will return for him."
I flash step across the valley, trying not to see the fallen dead and the blood flowing out onto the ground.
"Renji!" I call to him.
There is no answer.
I reach him a few moments later and gasp at the sight of him. His hair tie is gone and blood soaked red hair hangs down in tattered strands. His shihakushou is shredded. Slashes cut across the black markings on his chest and arms. He is breathing, but it is harsh and irregular. Zabimaru has gone back to his sealed form.
Dropping to my knees at his side, I study his reiatsu. It is faint, but still there. I raise a field of healing energy around him and try to heal him enough so that I can move him. The darkness continues to close in around us. I keep my senses extended in all directions and I feel those red eyes watching us from somewhere nearby. I have to finish and get out of the valley before it is completely dark.
The red eyes move closer and I feel that odd pulsating reiatsu again. I look around and see only a shadowy mist hanging in the air. A chill runs through me. I hear a low growl and the shadowy mist begins to resolve into a huge dark four-legged creature. It is too dark for me to get a clear view of it.
"Renji," I call softly, "Renji, can you hear me?"
He moans and moves slightly.
The dark creature moves closer. I can see the red eyes fixing on me. I raise my zanpakuto.
"Scatter, Senbonzakura."
The beast disappears before the petals can reach it. I spot the shadowy mist in the distance, floating away.
Pulling Renji close, I flash step back in the direction of the base. Halfway there, I meet a rescue team that went looking for me when I disappeared from the ridge. I turn Renji over to the healers, but I do not leave his side as we return to the outpost.
"How is he, Hanatoro?" I ask.
"He has several serious wounds, but he will recover," Hanatoro assures me, "We just need to get him to the outpost quickly. He needs surgery and lots of rest."
As I sit at Renji's side, the magnitude of what has happened hits me. Renji lost his search party…all of those who went with him to find Kenta. I know what he'll be feeling when he wakes. I know what it feels like to face that kind of loss. A long time ago, just outside of Inuzuri, the same thing happened to me. It was crushing. I hate to think how it's going to hurt him. He didn't do anything wrong. He didn't make any mistakes, but Renji will blame himself, just the same.