Chapter 6: Reverie

As Rikichi's eagle carries us back towards the outpost, I struggle to maintain something resembling coherent thought, but instead I find myself trapped somewhere between reality and dream. Everything has gone too quiet, too eerily calm. I've fallen into a grayness, broken now and then by disembodied voices.

"What the hell happened, Rikichi? We didn't find anything, but it looks like you boys found something."

"Rikichi, let me help you with that. You put pressure on the wounds. I'll set the healing field. Shoot! Where is Squad four when you need them?"

"Don't be stupid! Anything bad enough to do this to him would shred Squad four…the whole squad."

"What do we do with those two, Captain Zaraki?"

"Seal away their spirit energy just in case, take their weapons, then release their bindings. Maybe now that we are farther away…"

"Rikichi, tell us what happened."

The voices fade and the sensation of flight ensues. I rise out of the deadness of Hueco Mundo and soar towards home. I feel Renji at my side, a calm and strong presence, but somehow separated from me. My mind reaches for him in the grayness and I feel his presence, but no response.

The grayness gives way to a cool spring evening, just on the cusp between dusk and darkness. I walk the forest trail, watching the sakura spin on the breeze and I can again smell their sweetness. My feet are soundless on the trail and nothing breaks the stillness of the approaching night. I reach the end of the trail and stand beneath the sakura trees, staring out over the waterfall and up into a sky beginning to reveal stars. The moon is full and its brightness rains downward, coating everything below in its ethereal glow.

"I was looking for you," says a soft voice behind me, "I thought you might have come here."

I smile, but I do not turn. Arms close around me from behind and I feel the light brush of my hair being drawn back followed by warm kisses planted on the side of my neck. My hands curve around the ones that hold me and I settle more firmly into the warmth at my back.

The moon continues to rise and its brightness to increase until it drowns out the stars and everything reflects its light. My eyes close against the blinding force of it.

"No…" says the one who holds me, "Open your eyes."

"It's too bright."

"Nonsense, it's all in the way you are thinking. Let go of your thoughts. Don't let them weigh you down. Open your eyes and bathe in the moon's light."

I want to, but the light is filled with heat now and burning on my skin.

"What is happening?" I whisper.

"Pay it no mind. The light will fade and darkness will return. Here, let me hasten it for you."

I turn toward the other and his face blocks the moon's light. Even with my uncertain eyes, I know this is not Renji. I try to pull away, but pain explodes inside me. My eyes fall from the glowing red of the other's eyes and I watch crimson stain white…

A stab of pain brings me back to Hueco Mundo. I feel myself being lifted, carried and set down again. Healing light surrounds me and I hear a woman's voice.

"Sleep now. This won't take long."

Renji is gone now. I know he was here before, but I can't feel his presence anymore. I fight the calm that is taking over and force his name from my lips.

"Renji…"

"He is close by. I promise you. Rest now. He will be here when you wake."

The touch of her hands sends me further into sleep…but I continue to dream.

XXXXXXXXXX

What in the hell am I supposed to do now? My spirit energy is sealed away. Zabimaru is sealed. I'm lucky Zaraki was sympathetic. I could be sitting in a holding cell. That's where Kenta is, right now. But they understood I needed to be here. I don't know what I would have done if I couldn't be. So I sit with two guards…waiting.

"Renji?"

Rikichi…the only one of our part of the group left standing. It's ironic considering the firepower Byakuya and I wield. But Zabimaru sealed himself away from me and Byakuya was so drained…and Kenta was never really coherent. Hell, he doesn't even know what happened to him, where he was for all of that time. I think we know more about what happened to him than he does.

"Sit down, kid," I tell Rikichi, motioning to the seat next to me.

He sits next to me, but doesn't say anything. He's been really quiet since we got back.

"Rikichi, can you tell me what happened? I just remember that Zabimaru wouldn't release."

He nods. His face is deathly pale.

"There was a big wolf like creature that came out of the cave. It wanted you and Kenta to follow it. Your eyes started to glow red and so Captain Kuchiki raised his Senkei and bound the two of you with kido to stop you from attacking him. He didn't see the wolf-thing. It must have been mist when the Senkei was raised. It attacked and he went down. He was hurt, but he still held the Senkei. He…kept telling me that he was going to detonate the Senkei and when he did, I should run. He was worried because he was weakening and he had to detonate it before he passed out. I could have helped him if I was stronger…or if I could flash step, but I…"

"Rikichi, from what I hear, you are the reason he was still alive when we got back here. You didn't just help save him by stopping the bleeding. You saved all of our asses. You used the large eagle form, you dragged all of us on board. You got it into the air in time, so the captain could detonate his Senkei to clear a path for us. And after all of that, you had the presence of mind to pick up the others so we all came back alive. I am proud of you, Rikichi. Don't be so hard on yourself. And remember…if you hadn't been there, things would have been worse."

He doesn't say anything, but he does seem to gain a little more color.

"Renji, have you heard anything?" he asks.

"No…not yet. But they'll bring him here when he recovers enough," I tell him.

We look up as the door opens and Captain Unohana comes into the room. She takes a chair and sits in front of me…not a good sign.

"Renji, I need to examine you and Rikichi," she says, "I need to know the status of your reiatsu."

"What about the captain?" I ask.

"Captain Kuchiki is in recovery. We cannot give you an update yet. Just know that he is out of surgery and he is still alive. He is fortunate that Rikichi was there to bind his wounds. I hope you plan to give this young man a commendation. He has earned it."

"That goes without saying."

Captain Unohana spends a few minutes examining each of us, then excuses herself and leaves us.

"Rikichi, have you seen Kenta?"

He smiles.

"Yes…he seems fine, but he is confused. He doesn't remember what happened to him. But he doesn't mind being in the holding cell. He understands that there might be danger."

"Yeah…there might be."

And if there is…what can we do?

XXXXXXXXXX

Everything is bathed in a glowing whiteness. I am dressed in white and walking alone through the valley. Glowing spirits line the pathway. They have been waiting. I make my way to the cave and stop. It is my turn to wait. Someone is coming toward me. There is too much light around his face for me to see him clearly. He stops in front of me and his face begins to resolve. Black hair, black eyes, pale skin…He reaches for me in welcome. The arms that wrap around me are as cold as arctic ice. His eyes have suddenly turned colder even than that. I feel pain and I am falling. His eyes turn red and his teeth sharpen. I hear him growl hungrily as I drop to the ground at his feet.

"Hey, don't try to move yet. They just barely brought you back."

Renji…

"Yuudai…"

"Shh…rest. We can talk when you've rested."

"Ookami Seirei…"

Warm fingertips touch my lips.

"I told you to rest."

"Renji?"

"You just don't know when to stop, do you?"

"No one…tells the captain…what to do."

I can open my eyes again. His face is coming slowly into focus. His hair is unbound and falling loose over his shoulders. He is smiling, but I can see the worry in his brown eyes.

"Stop talking, will you? It's late and some of us haven't gotten any sleep," he yawns.

I start to turn so that I can rest my head on his shoulder and a groan escapes me.

"I did tell you not to move. Now, you need to hold still. I can sleep next to you, but don't try anything…you might not live to regret it."

"I don't suppose you could help me turn so I can put my head on your shoulder?" I ask softly.

"Did you miss the part about how you're not supposed to move?"

"I don't like sleeping on my back, Renji. You of all people should know that," I remind him.

"Well, it's your left side that got shredded, so I think you could turn onto your right side."

He carefully helps me turn. It sends sharp twinges of pain through my left shoulder and side, but I manage to end up resting comfortably on his shoulder. Bringing my heavily bandaged left arm to rest on his chest, I close my eyes. Whatever energy I might have had when I woke has been drained by the seemingly simple act of rolling over. But the end result is worth the effort.

"So what were those words you were saying?" he asks.

"Words?"

"Yeah. Just a minute ago. You said Yuudai and something else I couldn't understand."

I lift my head off of his shoulder, then recoil slightly at the shock of pain it causes. Renji brings up a hand and pushes my head back down gently.

"Stop that…or I'll have them come back in here and knock you out for the rest of the night."

"Sorry, the question surprised me…that name. I saw that name when I was reading the Kuchiki family histories. Renji, I have to go back to the Sereitei to look at those histories again. There is a connection between my ancestor, Yuudai Kuchiki and these creatures. I know there is. I just have to go back to find out what the connection is."

"Well," he says, raising his eyebrows, "that has to wait a few days. You have a shredded body and all the reiatsu of a field mouse right now. Don't worry. We will go as soon as Captain Unohana says you are well enough."

"This really shouldn't wait. I think I'm beginning to understand a few things. First, something happened to you when you were attacked by that creature. That caused you to lose the ability to maintain your reiatsu. The night I collapsed, you touched me and said 'I choose you.' It was after that that I discovered my ability to help restore your reiatsu. It is no coincidence. The same exchange happened between Rikichi and Kenta. Now you and Kenta are dependant on Rikichi and me for infusions of reiatsu. But I know there is more to this than that. Remember that the wolf creature said that you and Kenta are its brethren. It claims you…and you claim us. The missing piece of the puzzle here is how we all fit together. There is something more that is going to happen…and I believe it will happen soon. I must go to the Sereitei."

"I understand you want to help me. I love you for that. But I won't let you hurt yourself by trying to go before you are healed enough," he says firmly, "It has to wait. It's only a couple of days, Byakuya. Please, just let it go for now so you can heal."

He runs his fingers through my hair and kisses me lightly on the mouth.

"Sleep, will you? You're only going to make it take longer for you to heal if you don't."

"I've had enough sleep," I tell him, "I need to think."

"No…no thinking. Captain Unohana said you need to get some extra rest," he insists, "But I can see now that you are too keyed up."

He smiles.

"I think I can help you relax."

"Oh?" I ask, "And how does that work since I am torn to shreds and barely able to move?"

"I can work around that," he assures me, "You don't need to move."

One hand reaches down and catches my upper thigh, pulling me into closer contact, then slowly massages its way up and down my back. The other hand strokes the back of my neck and then my shoulders, while his mouth fastens on mine, instantly emptying my mind of conscious thought. The combination of warm touches and deep, slow kisses are relaxing, if not a bit too enticing. He is careful not do anything that will bring us across the line from pleasant comfort into lovemaking. I have to admit that for such a passionate lover, Renji exhibits amazing control. It's truly a blessing tonight. I'm halfway asleep when I hear him start to speak softly. The words are delivered quietly and in such a way that instead of being made wakeful by them, I feel suspended on them. It's something like being told a bedtime story…and it is a beautiful thing.

"We've only spent one day as life partners and already you scared the hell out of me and I almost tried to kill you. That aside, it was a good day. We got to the end of it and we're here in each other's arms. Tonight, you are the one who needs comfort, but who knows, tomorrow it could be me. You never know. The one thing I do know is that as long as we face these things together, we're going to come out of things okay.

I had a hard life growing up. There was never enough…never enough warmth, enough food, enough love. I found ways to get by, to survive, but I lost something there on the streets of Inuzuri that I didn't find again for a very long time. When I became a soul reaper, I started to have enough of most things, but there was something important missing. I always felt this ache inside, this longing for something or someone. I didn't know what…not for the longest time.

I know now what I was missing. I feel it when I follow you into battle and when I take you to bed. I feel it when we walk in a cloud of sakura. It's there when we sit under the stars and you tell me their stories. It's in the clash of our swords when we spar. Whatever happens and whatever each new day brings, my life isn't just enough. My life is full.