Authors Notes: Probably not the best chapter but I had to convey Loghains anguish.
Time spent away
Aurelia sat on the deck of the boat, holding on the tunic that Loghain had given her, his smell was all over it, a smell she loved and couldn't be without it. The gentle waves soothed her thoughts, Alistair moved over to her, sitting down with her.
"Was he someone special?" Alistair asked looking at the tunic in her hands.
"Yes, more than special, he is the love of my life," Aurelia replied, holding back the tears.
"What was his name?" Alistair asked squeezing her shoulder.
"Loghain," She replied glumly.
"Why are you leaving him behind?"
Aurelia sighed, "My Father wanted me to have political marriage to a ghastly man, so I ran, it is the most painful thing I have endured."
"I'm sure you will reunite in time," Alistair squeezed her hand.
"I prey to the Maker it's not long, its possible I carry his child, I don't want to raise the babe alone," Aurelia said, smelling Loghain's tunic once again.
Duncan approached the two youngsters, "You're Aurelia, Alistair told me about you, I am Duncan."
Aurelia smiled, "Pleasure to meet you, glad I wont be alone on this trip."
"So why is a young Lady like yourself doing alone on a boat to Kirkwall?" Duncan asked.
"Escaping my old life, leaving the man I love behind," Aurelia thought back the tears again.
"If you want to stick with us wardens, having proper food would be nice, we can keep you safe in return," Duncan smiled warmly at her.
"Well, you're in luck, I love to cook, so I'll be happy to feed you gentleman," Aurelia chuckled.
"Hey Anders, come meet our new friend," Alistair called to a burly blonde man.
"Hey beautiful, what do they call you?" Anders asked sitting next to her.
"Aurelia, it's a pleasure," She let the blonde man kiss her hand.
"Anders is a healer, if you are pregnant, he can tell you," Alistair said offering Aurelia some food and water, which she gratefully accepted.
"Oh, do you think are pregnant?" Anders asked.
"Yeah, I hope I am anyway."
"Well, when was the last time you...laid with a man?" Anders asked carefully, cringing at his own bluntness.
"Oh, 2 weeks ago," Aurelia said, desperately hoping she was with child.
Anders put his hand to her stomach, his hands glowing as he searched for any sign of pregnancy, "I sense some changes going on, I think you might be with child. Once we are in Kirkwall, we'll check again."
Aurelia yawned and lent against his strong arm, "Thanks Anders."
They watched Aurelia fall asleep, Anders scooped her up and carried her to her private cabin, "Warden, do not let anyone in that cabin without the permission of me, Alistair or Duncan."
"Yes sir," The warden replied.
Anders rejoined his fellow Wardens, "Do you recognise her Duncan?" He asked.
"Yes, I think she is Teyrn Cousland's Daughter," He replied, taking a swill of wine.
"Why would she run away?" Alistair asked with curiosity.
"From what I've heard, Bryce wanted Aurelia to have a political marriage. But she's a forceful girl, knows her own mind and she refused, I guess she couldn't take it anymore."
"It's quite sad, alone and possibly pregnant," Alistair sighed sadly.
"Dont worry Alistair, we'll look after her," Anders said nudging Alistair.
Anders turned back to Duncan,"Do you know this Loghain?"
"I do, he's a lot older than Aurelia, I'm surprise Bryce turned him down, he's a Teyrn too."
Alistair shook his head, "She must really hate her Father to actually run away."
Loghain stormed into Cailan's bedroom, throwing water in the man's face, "Get up Cailan get up,"
"Loghain, what are you doing old man?" He asked blearily.
"It's been 2 weeks, I want the armies to look for Aurelia," Loghain demanded, standing over the King.
"Fine, take the armies, just don't tell Anora, she wasn't too happy about your little affair," Cailan got up stretching.
"Do not call it an affair, We are in love and thanks to her Father, she has gone. I need to find her Cailan," Loghain sat down, head in hands.
"And you will find her, she wont enjoy being away from you, Loghain."
"What if she wanted to be away from me too?" Loghain didn't really want an answer to that, he was scared that he pushed Aurelia into something she didn't want.
"Loghain, Aurelia loves you very much, her leaving isn't because of you, its to preserve what you have together. She said she will contact you, then she will."
Loghain left Cailan's bedroom, aimlessly walking around the Palace, thinking of Aurelia, he missed her painfully, it wasnt helped by there being only 3 people who offered him sympathy, Maric and Cailan knew how much he loved Aurelia, Eleanor felt Loghain could have made her happy, but Bryce stood in the way.
Anora walked towards her father, "We need to talk about your moping around, get over her Father, it's rather pathetic of you."
"Dont Anora, just don't, I love Aurelia, so just don't cheapen it with your bile," Loghain fired back, his face red with anger.
"She's young enough to be your Daughter, there's plenty of other women your age. Why Aurelia, why is she so damn special?" Anora looked close to having a tantrum.
"She just is Anora, I wanted to marry her, when I find her, I will marry her," Loghain stormed away from his Daughter, he was sick of everyone questioning his love of Aurelia is if it was a shameful thing, for him it was everything and he'd do anything to find her again.
The boat approached Kirkwall in the dead of night, storms had hampered the boats journey, Anders went to wake Aurelia, "Aurelia," He called gently, "We're nearing Kirkwall, Princess."
Aurelia groaned, barely having the energy to lift her head, "Do I have to move yet?" She asked sleepily.
Anders walked into her room, sitting on her bed, he waved is hands over her stomach and smiled, "Tiredness is normal in expectant women."
"Hope it doesn't last long," Aurelia chuckled.
Anders helped Aurelia off the bed, picking up her pack to carry it out on to the deck. As they got on the deck, Alistair puts his arm around Aurelia affectionately, "We are gonna find an Inn to sleep at, we'll find you one as well."
"Thank you, I just wanna go to sleep for a few months."
Alistair chuckled, "Joys of pregnancy, we'll look after you."
The group found an Inn to sleep at, Aurelia bid them all goodnight, retiring to her room for some much-needed sleep. She pulled on Loghain's tunic and crawled into bed, hands moving to her stomach, stroking her growing baby, she hoped for dark hair like Loghain, maybe my nose,she chuckled to herself.
She fell asleep with the memories of Loghain in the front of her mind, "Maker, make this separation a swift one, I beg of you," She uttered to the ceiling, hoping the Maker heard.
The next day, Aurelia ventured around Hightown looking for a place to buy. She found a home to buy with a large bedroom, one smaller bedroom and what she guessed was servants quarters, apparently an elderly lady had lived in the house and had many servants to stave off the complete loneliness.
Aurelia immediately bought the house, it was filled with furniture already and two of the servants wished to stay, so Aurelia kept them on staff. Anders, Alistair and Duncan appeared in the doorway, "Welcome to the Mac Tir home," Aurelia said with a chuckle.
"It's nice, although I fear it wont be after we have wrecked it," Anders said, flashing Aurelia a cheeky smile.
"If you do Anders, you can sleep in the cellar," Aurelia fired back with mock admonishment.
Anders held his heart with dramatic flare, "Oh she wounds me."
Evina the elf walked out of the kitchen bowing her head to Aurelia, "Would you like dinner, Mistress?" She asked nervously.
"Oh yes please, we would love dinner, make anything you want," Aurelia smiled warmly at Evina, who in turn smiled and bowed, happily walking back into the kitchen.
"You gentlemen need to get your stuff in place and probably have a wash too, you rather smell," Aurelia waved her hand in front her nose then pinched it.
"Oh cheeky," Alistair nudged her before following Anders and Duncan to the servants Quarters.
"Evina," Aurelia called out.
She walked out of the kitchen and bowed to Aurelia, "Yes Mistress?"
Aurelia chuckled, "Firstly, stop calling me Mistress, I'm Aurelia or Lady Aurelia if the former is too formal, secondly, where is the other servant?"
"My Husband is out buying more food, Lady Aurelia," Evina suddenly looked very nervous.
"Oh, how have you been married, Evina?" Aurelia asked smiling.
"2 months, our previous Mistress did not approve, she said Elves shouldnt marry," Evina had sadness on her face.
"Evina, were you slaves?"
"Yes, sorry for the deception, Lady Aurelia."
Aurelia put her hand on Evina's slender shoulder, "It's ok, you wont be slaves here, since the Wardens are sleeping in the servants room, you and your husband can sleep in the spare room."
"Thank you My Lady, you are very kind," Evina walked back into the kitchen with what Aurelia swore was a little skip in her step.
Aurelia chuckled to herself, obviously the elderly Lady wasnt a particularly nice.
It had been 4 months since Aurelia's disappearance and Eleanor missed her terribly, every night since they returned home with out her was agony, they had no idea where Aurelia had gone. Loghain kept her updated on the search, but there was no news, Eleanor suspected that Aurelia was no longer in Ferelden.
Eleanor couldn't look at Bryce without anger boiling over. She sat in Aurelia's room crying as Fergus sat down with to comfort her, "Mother, she'll return, she just needs time."
"She wouldn't have gone at all If it wasnt for your Father." Eleanor snapped with anger.
"I know, he shouldnt have slapped her. Is it true about Aurelia and Teyrn Loghain?"
Eleanor sighed, "Yes it is, he misses her terribly. He's got the armies out looking for her."
"Why didnt Father allow Aurelia to marry him? At least Aurelia would have wanted to marry Loghain."
"Because your Father wanted Aurelia to suffer a marriage to an ally to further his causes," Eleanor seethed with anger again.
Fergus got up, picking up his Mother's belongings to carry to the carriage, "Bloody festival while our Aurelia is missing, I don't know if I watch everyone at the palace pretend all is well."
"I know Darling, let's go," Eleanor said getting up, following Fergus out of Aurelia's room.
When the Couslands arrived at Denerim, Eleanor immediately sought out Loghain, finding him in the library, in the chair, he and Aurelia had spent nights together.
Eleanor's heart broke for him, he clearly wasn't coping with Aurelia's absence, he was unshaven, dark circles around his eyes, "Loghain, Aurelia would hate to see you like this," Eleanor said gently, sitting down next to him.
"I miss her and I'm no closer to finding her, its been 4 months, where is she Eleanor?" Loghain's voice cracked.
"I miss her too," Eleanor turned to Loghain with a serious look, "Loghain, promise me, when you find her, you marry her, you have my permission, If you're the one whose gonna make her happy, then that's what I want."
"Are you sure? I'm a lot older than her."
"I don't care about the age difference, If marrying you makes my baby happy, then I am sure."
"Just need to find her, I have no idea where she could have gone," Loghain shook his head, running his fingers through his hair.
"We'll find her Loghain, she wouldn't wanna be away from you for too long," Eleanor got up and left the room, she had no doubt that Loghain was the man for Aurelia.
Loghain sat alone in the library for hours, he had no desire for dinner, he'd give anything to hold her again, her warm body in his arms, her scent surrounding him. The door to the library opened, revealing Bryce, Loghain fixed him with a glare, "I hope you're happy with yourself," Loghain sneered.
"Excuse me?" Bryce said indignant.
"4 months Bryce, she's been missing 4 months, don't you care?"
"How dare you?" Bryce spat back.
"Oh shut up Bryce and listen for once, Aurelia wanted to marry me and I wanted to marry her, I would have given Aurelia anything she wanted, done anything to make her happy," Loghian stood up, fists clenched, "But that wasnt good enough for you was it, you wanted Aurelia to be Howe's little whore, open her legs to him, his sons and any one else Howe forced her to have sex. You tried to force a miserable existence on her and now she's gone, couldn't bear being any one else's Wife. I watched her nearly try to kill herself because of you, I wonder how you sleep at night."
Bryce saw red and punched Loghain in the face, "You know nothing about my Daughter, you probably forced her to have sex with you."
Loghain flew at Bryce knocking him to the floor, Loghain pinned him to the floor by his throat, "I never forced her into anything, I love her and she loves me, when I find her, I'm gonna marry her and you wont be able to stop us," Loghain got up, storming out of the library leaving a winded Bryce on the floor.
Loghain was gonna do anything he could to find Aurelia, he loved her far too much to give up on her, even she decides she doesn't want him any more at least he would know she was safe.