"Whatever you do, Draco, don't blink."

Oh, no, no, no, not again. I thought they were gone for good this time... I can't deal with them again, not after the Ponds... Koschei clasps my hand in his. "Don't think about them, Doctor." Of course he knows. I must be broadcasting my thoughts in my panic. Okay, breathe, breathe, breathe.

I can see Hermione's face growing paler. It's obvious that she does care for him, whatever she pretends. I can't let her lose him. I cannot lose another one...

Only Draco and Koschei are calm. "Why aren't we blinking?" Draco asks, while Koschei is busy carving a rude message in Gallifreyan with his laser screwdriver into the Angel's arm, which is reaching out towards Draco. *How dare you?* We both freeze as we hear the Angel's shriek of outrage in our minds. "Oops..." The Master says sarcastically. "I am sooooo sorry." This time even Hermione and Draco wince as the Angel projects its fury into all of our heads. "Master, that was incredibly stupid!" I shout, still glaring forward at the Angel. He just smirks. "Whatever happened to 'darling' and 'sexy'?"

I'm glad that the children can't see my face blushing like a börshtaan (a really interesting type of fruit that I found on Aanicon one time, it's bright red and glows red in the dark...). "I have no idea what you are talking about, Master." He just grins. I can sense it. Irritating Dalek-face.

Suddenly the lights begin to flicker. Click. Blackness. Koschei's hand is ripped from mine. Oh, please no... I howl his name into the dark. Click.

The lights are back, but we can now see something much worse than an old angel statue.

A Weeping Angel is crouched over the prone body of my oldest companion. He is still grinning away, blond hair messed up and sticking up in all directions, black top ripped and torn. But the truly terrible thing is the angle of his head. A scarlet cloud invades my senses. I feel sick. Koschei lies on the floor, blood bubbling out of the unnatural bend of his neck.

The Angel smiles, fresh blood on its hands and fingernails. I know that I'm screaming, but I am powerless to stop myself.

No, no, no... Please, no... His hazel-green eyes are wide with laughter, but the light within has gone out. No. This can't be happening again. Not again. No. Not again. I sink to my knees, cradle his head in my arms. A horrible sense of déjà vu overtakes me and I hate that he's left me again.

Hermione tugs at my sleeve. "Doctor..." She says in a tiny voice. I tear my eyes away from my fallen... friend... and look at her. She wordlessly points to the stone wall. I feel the anger bubbling up in my veins again. It - that disgusting creature - has smeared my Koschei's blood on the wall. In words. Horrible, taunting words. It says, "Doctor, I'm waiting. Off you pop to the cellar."

And then a tiny smile creeps onto my face. Maybe the Angel didn't write that. Maybe he did...

*Run, Doctor...* The Angel hisses. *I want to see you run from me...* "Oh, shut UP!" I yell. Hermione and Draco exchange a worried glance.

I move to reprogramme the sonic to destroy stone, but instead my fingers find Koschei's laser screwdriver. Oh, you brilliant man... He's already set a programme for stone... You beautiful, clever, sexy thing, Koschei... I punch the air in delight. "Goodbye, Stoney!"

I laugh, and before it can project its confusion into my head, I transfer the programme onto my sonic, because obviously the isomorphic controls mean I can't use his...

With a shriek, Stoney is destroyed into a fine ashy powder. Hermione and Draco laugh in delight and embrace. (Awwww...) "Right then. Sorry to cut in the festivities, but we have a box to find." I haul Koschei's body over my shoulder (Omega's Underpants, he's heavy...) and we start towards the girls' toilets, Hermione leading the way.

By the time we get there, we have had to run around the fangirls - still chasing K , and almost got attacked by a grouchy caretaker.

In the bathroom, a girl "ghost" - level two soul projection, obviously - swoops on us and demands that when Koschei becomes a "ghost" we visit her because he's "hot" (he is, but you didn't hear it from me...).

Finally, when we reach the so called "Chamber of Secrets", only guarding it are three more "fangirls".

"Oh, Merlin!" shrieks Hermione. "Snape, Dumbledore and McGonagall are FANGIRLS?!"

"Good evening, children." A man with greasy black hair and a crooked nose drawls.

The old man with the silver hair and beard and the old lady with a severe bun and green robes throw themselves at Draco's feet. "I'll never give you detention again!" Wails the lady. "I never really favoured Gryffindor... And Harry's nowhere near as clever or handsome as you, Draco..." The man sobs.

Draco looks terrified, which is the most expression I have seen on his snooty face. Then to top it off, Snape (presumably the bat- like man) ripped open his robes to reveal lime green t-shirt that read "I love Malfoy" with a huge picture of Draco's face and pink boxer shorts with little black bats on them. We looked at him and then at each other. Then we screamed.

Snape looked confused. When Draco had finished screaming, he gasped out, "If you are true fans, you will go back to patrolling the school, to protect me." The three adults nodded eagerly and scampered away, cloaks billowing.

"Well, that was disturbing..." Draco muttered. Hermione raised an eyebrow. "You think?" Her voice dripped with sarcasm. He rolled his eyes. "Shut up, Granger." I turned back to the box, which was making a strange clicking noise. A small smear of blood rested on the front. I must have accidentally brushed Koschei's body against it...

But what was it doing? I pressed my ear against it. Opening? I could hear thousands of locks opening, all clicking and whirring away.

.. But that meant... Oh, Koschei... You clever boy...

"Uh... Doctor...?" I spun around. A figure, glowing bright in the gloom was sprinting towards us, arms waving above its head frantically. "Is he...?" "On fire?!" Hermione finished my sentence with a squeak.

I turned back. I had more pressing issues on my mind. The final lock made a loud groan as the doors slowly opened. A cloud of steam gushed out.

I stepped closer. A figure sat inside, head held high. A young man, with piercing blue-green eyes, dark hair and cheekbones to cut diamonds with.

When he saw me, he smirked. "Hello, darling." Seriously? This was his next regeneration? "You... You're..." I threw myself into his arms and his eyes widened. "Oh, you sexy thing!" He grinned and opened his mouth to say something (annoying, most likely).

I took full advantage of the situation, and kissed him earnestly. At first, he went rigid, but then he gradually wound his arms around my neck and kissed me back.

Suddenly Hermione broke the silence, by shrieking, "VOLDEMORT'S NIPPLE! It's BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH!"

I heard Draco laughing, but right now I didn't care. Well, at least not until I heard a new voice, yelling, "Hands above your heads! Hands up by order of Team Leo!" Oh. That's what happened to the guy on fire...