The blinking LED light of her alarm clock seemed to burn itself into her mind. Quinn had been lying in bed for nearly three hours now and sleep seemed just outside of her grasp.
It had been almost two months since Rachel's confession, and their resulting permanent break up. Immediately after the split, even Quinn had to admit that she had been more or less a drunken mess. It was one thing to suffer through the pain of Rachel's distrust, but Quinn found herself in a deeper depression now that the break up had become official. Unable to roll out of bed, her eyes had become permanently puffy and red-rimmed. Her face was sunken in and hollow, becoming gaunt and sickly in appearance.
She had tried to forget, pushing the thoughts as far out of her head as she could. Quinn had learned, however, that memories like these could never truly be forgotten. They lived on deep in her mind; playing and replaying themselves over and over behind the lids of her eyes. At times, escaping into the good memories eased the pain enough to lull her to sleep but she would jolt awake, shaking visibly and covered in a cold sweat.
But Quinn was nothing if not strong.
She had taken control of her life after two weeks of spiraling into a deep depression, releasing the deep-rooted pain and taking a chance at redemption. The blonde stood up straighter and stopped living recklessly.
Despite her determination to move on, memories of Rachel would rise up unbidden, suffocating the blonde. Tonight, as the night wore on, Quinn found herself struggling to keep the memories of the brunette at bay.
Rubbing fiercely at her face, Quinn willed Rachel's face to fade from her mind, not content with the uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach. Giving up, the blonde sat up gently, careful not to disturb Brittany and Santana who were sleeping nearby.
The couple had moved into a vacated apartment in the same complex as Quinn, pressing a spare key into the palm of her hand and demanding that the blonde use it whenever needed. The trio had a standing movie night each week, the brunette insisting that Quinn come over and spend the night at their new place. Tonight had been an Underworld marathon and Santana and Brittany had fallen asleep just moments after climbing into bed. Quinn had not been as fortunate and she moved quietly around the room gathering her clothes.
She quickly slipped into a pair of jeans, tossed haphazardly aside and checked to make sure she had what she needed.
The tears rolling down her face blurred the flickering streetlights as Quinn forced her feet to move and fall into a steady rhythm. Reaching into the back pocket of her jeans, her fingers pulled at a crumpled pack of cigarettes and then back in deeper in search of a lighter.
The cold was stinging and Quinn's hands shook as she tried to light the cigarette dangling from her lips. It was much more difficult than it should have been and the blonde uttered a curse under her breath.
Three, maybe four tries later, the burning end flickered and blazed brightly, encouraged with every deep inhalation. Quinn breathed in the smoke, holding it inside for just a moment. The nicotine settled in her body before Quinn let the smoke escape past her lips.
Truthfully, Quinn hated the smoke, never finding the taste appealing in the slightest, but despite the taste, the blonde had to admit that it was an oddly comforting and satisfying disgusting habit. She had briefly smoked in a stint during the end of her high school career but had quickly abandoned that habit almost as quickly as she had the pink dye job. She didn't remember when exactly she had picked it up again, but it was one thing she had been unable to shake even as she pulled her life back together.
A small voice nagged at her, irritatingly similar to Rachel's, listing off the negatives of smoking – cancer, addiction, yellow teeth, and seven minutes and some seconds off her life. Quinn scoffed, almost amused at the turn her thoughts had taken, and inhaled deeply, allowing the smoke to fill her lungs.
Moving to the edge of the sidewalk, Quinn sat on the curb and looked up at the pale light coloring the sky. She inhaled once more, losing herself in her thoughts and not noticing the diminishing cigarette until it singed her fingers, forcing her to drop it.
She ran her hands harshly through her hair, letting out a loud groan at herself and her inability to just deal. Standing, she ghosted her hands over her body in search of the small half crumpled box, fishing out another stick and gripping it between her teeth as she lit the end.
Quinn took a long drag, pulling the cigarette out of the corner of her mouth and looking at it in disgust before dropping it and crushing it with the heel of her shoe. She glanced at her phone, internally groaning at how another night had gone by sleeplessly. Shoving her hands deep in her pockets and shoulders hunched, Quinn headed back home with the wind whipping against her skin and chilling her to the bone.
She wanted nothing more than to move on and for the most part, Quinn could honestly say she had. But there were nights burned into her mind that still caused faint tingles to shoot through her veins. There was a voice that still resounded in her mind and there was the softly uttered confession of love that still managed to make Quinn's breath catch, her stomach drop, and her heart skip a painful beat.
She wanted to forget, but the truth was she couldn't. Part of Quinn wondered if it was because she didn't entirely want to. Her heart reproachfully reminded her that this was a love only dreamt about, one that others in her life never came close to, and one that she had been wrapped up in so happily.
But the pain she felt was just as vocal and Quinn knew that as difficult as it was to forget the good times she had had with Rachel, the bad things Rachel had done were just as vivid in her mind.
Reaching the steps of her apartment, the blonde paused and exhaled, releasing her hold and effectively ending her train of thought. She knew it was out of her hands and all she could do for now was to keep moving forward. Eventually, time would lend a hand in healing her broken heart but for now Quinn knew that she would just busy herself in the meantime.
Trudging up to Santana's apartment, Quinn entered quietly, stripping down and slipping underneath the covers. Her eyes fluttering shut, she was almost overcome by sleep when she felt an arm snaking around her waist.
Brittany pulled the girl closer and pressed a sleepy kiss to her forehead. "Next time, wake us up when you go for a walk. I'll send Santana with you. Love you, Q."
With friends like hers, Quinn knew that even with heartbreak like this, she'd make it out okay. There was no way Santana, Brittany, or even Kirsten would let her drown. Quinn allowed a small smile to come and she snuggled deeper into Brittany's embrace, murmuring softly into the quiet room before succumbing to sleep. "Love you, too."
Quinn lugged up another box to the front of the café, handing it off to Kirsten. "I'm seriously fine. Kirsten, it's been almost six months since the break up."
The brunette used a box cutter to cut open the box, pulling out the new shipment of coffee beans and laying them out on the counter. "Q, I get that. But a date?"
Rolling her eyes, Quinn began to place the bags of coffee on their respective shelves, turning and bumping Kirsten's hip with her own. "I have to get out there sometime, Kirst. Besides, it's just a lunch thing for now."
The blonde could feel her friend's scrutinizing gaze and she let out a chuckle. "Listen, I—I'm not sad anymore. I'm okay. I did the whole dealing thing for a while and now my life's put together for the most part. I need to do this so I don't end up in an apartment all by myself with sixteen cats." Quinn quirked up an eyebrow and smirked in Kirsten's direction.
Affronted, the brunette reached over to pinch Quinn's arm. "You bitch. I just have one cat and I'm not alone. I just don't like roommates and another thing! How dare you have the guts to say anything against Hercules! He's the cutest cat ever, Q. Ever."
With another jab to Quinn's side, Kirsten moved to unlock the front door and flip the switch for the open sign. "Anyway, since I'm not going to sit there and let you badmouth Hercules, tell me about your new girlfriend."
Quinn rolled her eyes, putting the last bit off the coffee away before turning towards Kirsten. "She's not my girlfriend. She's one of the dance teachers at Brittany's studio and Santana thinks that we'd be cute together."
"And Brittany?" Kirsten drawled out, crossing her arms and leaning against the wall.
"B thinks that I'm not ready, but seriously, I need to do this." Quinn muttered, breaking down the box and heading to the back.
Humming in understanding, Kirsten pushed off of the wall when the first customer of the morning came in, calling back. "Maybe you can make this like a double or a triple date thing?" Smiling at the older man, Kirsten took her place behind the register to take the order.
Quinn reappeared, nodding politely at the man and leaning against the counter as she watched Kirsten work on the latte the man had ordered. "Let's say I did agree to this, and let me tell you right now, I'm not. Who would you even bring?"
Kirsten secured the lid on the paper cup, slipping on a sleeve before handing it to the customer and nodding goodbye. "I have…people, Q. I'm quite offended that you don't think that I could manage to find someone to bring."
Laughing, the blonde shook her head. "I don't find it hard to believe, Kirst."
Brightening, Kirsten nudged Quinn playfully, "So I am invited?"
"No, Kirsten!" The blonde asserted, pulling out a rag and wiping down the counter. "It's just a late lunch. It's a low-key kind of thing and I'm not about to bring my crazy friends along just to make things awkward."
"Well, you know the rule about late lunch on Fridays don't you?" Kirsten asked, moving to retrieve the pastries from the small oven and place them in the glass viewing case.
Chuckling, Quinn straightened, "No, bestow upon me your knowledge, oh master."
Kirsten paused, looking at Quinn with such disdain. "Do the people you go out with know how big of a nerd you are?" Laughing when the blonde snapped the towel against her ass, Kirsten continued. "Seriously, how do people even like you?"
"Oh for God's sake…the rule, Kirsten?"
"Oh, right." The brunette continued, hesitating to greet a patron setting up a computer in the corner. "Late lunches can turn into early drinks which can turn into a night out which can very easily turn into a night in-if you know what I mean." Winking at Quinn, Kirsten smirked. "Guess your date's not as low-key as you thought."
"I'm working tonight, Kirsten. There's not going to be a night in." Quinn corrected as she watched her friend handle another customer.
"Invite her here, Q." Kirsten suggested. "Britt and Santana will be here and that way I can meet this girl without intimidating her."
"I'll think about it," the blonde answered, moving to start up the other register as the morning rush began to start. "Let's just get lunch over with first."
Quinn had settled on a long black sweater, form-fitting with a generous neckline, and found herself nervously tapping her fingers on the table at a small street-side café.
The slight breeze pricked at her skin but the bright sun helped to warm her body.
"Annie, hey. I'm so glad you could make it." Quinn scrambled to stand when a gorgeous brunette arrived her table. Pulling out a chair, the blonde gestured for the girl to sit, smiling warmly at the new guest.
"Hello, Quinn." A southern accent tinted the soft lilting voice and Quinn found the corners of her lips quirking up into a smile. "I'm sorry for being late. New York traffic is something I'm still not quite accustomed to."
Waving off her apology, the two women scanned through their menus, the conversation light and inviting. Quinn learned that Annie had recently moved to New York from Tennessee and that dancing had been a passion since she'd been just a child. "I was dancing before I could even run. Granted, I wasn't any good at it back then but I just—I really enjoyed it. The music, the choreography…it all means more to me than to normal people."
Quinn nodded, "I can relate. It's the same with me and singing. You should have seen me when I was young. I sang all of the time. Into hairbrushes, cups, phones-if I could hold it, I sang into it. "
Annie laughed heartily, her eyes twinkling as she looked over at Quinn. "I assure you, I would pay quite a sizable amount to be able to witness that."
"Oh, and I wouldn't? I can already imagine you running around in a little tutu." Quinn exclaimed, taking another sip of her wine.
The brunette scrutinized Quinn, before smirking conspiratorially. "I am going to show you something and it just attests to how much I like you, understand?" At Quinn's nod, Annie leaned in and pulled out her phone, thumbing through it before holding it out for Quinn with an abashed smile. "My mom insisted on putting all of my baby pictures up on Facebook as soon as she signed up. Despite my most earnest attempts, I've been unable to convince her to take them down."
Quinn cupped the back of Annie's hand rather than taking the phone into her own hands, leaning in even closer and examining the photo of a toddler in a ballerina's outfit. "I'm glad she didn't." The blonde murmured softly. "You look adorable."
Taking satisfaction in the small blush tinting the brunette's cheeks, Quinn leaned back to take a sip of her wine. The waiter arrived and the blonde prattled off her order. With Annie momentarily occupied, the blonde took a moment to let her eyes roam over her date.
She had dressed modestly but classier than Quinn, a pale blue dress adorning her body. Annie smiled widely at the waiter, laughing at a well-placed joke and the blonde found herself enjoying the sincerity behind the laugh. Hazel eyes fell upon their hands on the table-top. Annie was just a few shades darker than the pale girl, her nails manicured and dainty. Rachel was a shade or two darker than Annie and she kept her nails trimmed and short.
Without thinking, Quinn reached over the last few inches and traced the back of Annie's hand, her eyes climbing up the brunette's body before coming to a stop at a pair of warm brown eyes watching her with interest. Her mouth suddenly dry, Quinn found her heart racing as she realized that the waiter had been gone for quite some time and that Annie had been watching her intently. Her gaze was so similar to Rachel's, warm but with an undercurrent of electric passion that Quinn found herself struggling to focus on the beautiful brunette sitting in front of her.
Managing to shove Rachel to the back of her mind, Quinn cleared her throat, rubbing her face harshly. Annie leaned in, concern etched on her features as she covered Quinn's free hand with her own. "Are you okay, Quinn?"
"Yeah, yeah. Sorry about that. Just—I spaced out a bit there." The blonde answered, her voice just the tiniest bit shaky. "God, it's getting chilly out here. I should have asked the hostess to seat us inside. Annie scrutinized the other girl, intent on making sure that she was all right before settling back into her chair and picking up her wine glass.
"I don't know about you, but I think it's just pleasant outside." Annie drawled out, a smile playing on her lips. "But here, if you're cold, take my jacket."
The brunette reached over placing a jacket over Quinn's shoulders, nodding proudly with satisfaction. "Don't let it be said I've lost my southern hospitality, Quinn." Annie teased with a wink in the blonde's direction. "So, tell me, Quinn Fabray. What's your type?" The Tennessee native continued. "Brunette, brown eyed? I hope you like tan girls, because, honey, this is light as I get."
"Yeah, you could say that that's my type." Chuckling nervously, Quinn groaned internally as images of Rachel bombarded her mind, vivid and crystal clear. The blonde found herself struggling with repressing the random memories of her ex-girlfriend and smiled feebly at the other girl.
Trailing a finger seductively down the blonde's arm, Annie fixed a smoldering gaze in Quinn's direction. "Good. That means that you won't be opposed to getting out of here after we eat."
Quinn was pleased not to have had any more intrusions of the ex-girlfriend kind and was genuinely enjoying herself. She quickly learned that Annie was sweet, sincere, and kind.
She had swatted away the blonde's hand when the bill came, asserting that chivalry wasn't dead so long as she was still alive and that Quinn should know better than to attempt to pay. The dancer had tipped heavily, waving it off when the waiter had come back to the table to thank her for the generosity.
Annie just took Quinn's hand and smiled as she shyly explained to the blonde. "It doesn't hurt me to give a little more. Besides, my mama always used to say that the good I do in the world will eventually come around to me. So who knows? Maybe I'll win the lottery someday." Nudging Quinn playfully, the brunette led them to her car and told the blonde to just follow her.
Quinn was surprised, to say the least, when she found herself in a small bar. It was intimate and the blonde couldn't help but be impressed with Annie's taste. She was sipping on something a little stronger than she was used to, liquid courage Annie had called it, adding a wink in the blonde's direction when ordering two.
The singer wasn't sure how much courage it gave her but she felt pleasantly warm on the inside. And she knew she had the drink to thank. Annie was sitting much closer than she had been at the restaurant, their knees brushing with even the slightest movement.
Perhaps influenced by their surroundings, the conversation had taken a more intimate turn, with the brunette's hand laced loosely with Quinn's. The blonde, however, was surprised to find that she didn't mind and when Kirsten called, reminding her about her gig at the café, Quinn didn't think twice before downing her drink and inviting Annie along.
"Damn, Q. Britt told me she was hot but she didn't tell me she was smoking!" Santana whispered into the blonde's ear, gripping Quinn's shoulder giddily. "Sing something seductive tonight. Something sexy—Oh! Let's get it onnnn…"
Shoving the laughing brunette off of her, Quinn rolled her eyes, immediately dismissing the idea. "Don't even. I'm not about to get up there and sing Marvin Gaye on the first date."
"Oh come on, Quinn! I'll sing backup!" Kirsten added in, coming up from behind the blonde and nudging her playfully. Smiling warmly at Brittany and Annie, the barista admitted, "All jokes aside, though, Annie's great."
Santana scoffed, sending a brief but loving glance at the blonde talking animatedly with Annie. "Don't doubt Brittany. She never does anything half-assed."
Taking a drink from one of the working baristas, Kirsten leaned against the wall as she took in the crowd. "So what're you planning on opening with?"
Quinn's forehead crumpled in deep thought, a frown pulling at her lips. Suddenly, there was an arm snaking around her waist and a pair of soft lips pressing against her cheek. "Whatever you're thinking about, stop. I hate it when you frown." Annie said, looking down shyly when she realized she had four pairs of amused eyes on her.
Quinn smiled down at Annie, gesturing to a table set up near the front of the stage. "Why don't you guys take a seat? The set's about to start and I need to get my guitar tuned up and ready." She squeezed her date's hand and smiled at the rest of her group before disappearing into the back to prepare.
It took just a moment to double check her guitar and Quinn found herself pacing, unable to decide on her opening song. She thought she'd have time to make it home and get a set list together but Annie had completely derailed that plan. And the blonde found herself scrambling to find the perfect song to open with. She had a standard setlist prepared but Quinn wanted to impress Annie tonight and the stress was getting to her. She wanted to set the mood but she couldn't help but be brought back to the first time Rachel had heard her sing.
It was time to move on, though, and Quinn knew that she needed to take this step.
Jimmy appeared in the doorframe, smiling fondly at Quinn and the blonde nodded as she picked up her guitar. Before she could leave, Kirsten burst into the room, eyes frantic and wide.
Quinn, startled, watched as her friend swallowed hard, hoarsely whispering, "Rachel's here, Quinn. She's outside."
The blonde's heart stopped, her brain racing to find a way out of the situation when a soft knock caught her attention. Looking up at the brunette leaning against the doorframe, Quinn gulped.
Annie closed the gap between them, taking Quinn's hand in her own. "I asked Jimmy if I could come back here for just a second. I wanted to wish you good luck and tell you how great a time I'm having tonight. Thank you for all this, for whatever it is between us. Break a leg tonight." Nodding politely at Kirsten, the brunette made her way back to her table leaving Quinn on the verge of tears.
Gripping the blonde's shoulder tightly, Kirsten murmured softly almost as if any loud noise or sudden movement would break the girl in front of her. "Santana's running interference. We can get out of here, right now. Brittany can take care of Annie and we can just leave out the back."
She was tempted, but Quinn blinked back tears as she inhaled deeply. "No."
Blinking in surprise, Kirsten leaned in whispering urgently. "Quinn, seriously. You don't have to do this if you're not ready—"
"I'm never going to be ready, Kirst, but I'm not going to let her keep me from living my life. " Quinn asserted firmly, tightening her grip on her guitar and walking out to the stage.
Keeping her eyes glued to the floor, Quinn lifted her gaze only to meet that of Brittany's, her heart aching at the worry and sympathy she found there.
Sitting on the stool, Quinn feebly smiled at the sizable crowd, eyes flitting to Annie, who smiled encouragingly at the blonde, and then to Kirsten and Santana arguing in the corner with whom she presumed was Rachel. Tilting her head, Quinn found herself craning her neck until the small brunette pushed through the barricade Santana and Kirsten had created and met the blonde's gaze head on.
All breath gone from her lungs, Quinn found herself unable to tear her gaze away, eyes roaming over Rachel and bouncing from spot to spot. The brunette looked good, lighter almost in a sense that Quinn was unable to put her finger on. A clearing of a throat behind her startled the blonde and she turned to find Kirsten taking the place of the piano player.
"Keep it together, Quinn. I'm going to play back up for you. Focus on Brittany, Santana, and me. That's it." Kirsten muttered, shooting daggers in Rachel's direction.
Quinn nodded shakily, handing Kirsten a small crumpled piece of paper. "That's the set list. We're starting with 'Between Us'."
Hesitating, Kirsten looked up at the singer unsurely. "You really want to do that song?"
"It's what I decided on before I knew she was here. I need to stick with it," the blonde answered, donning a brave face and pulling out a pick from her back pocket.
At Quinn's nod, Kirsten settled on the bench and began to play the first notes, letting out a sigh of relief when the soft strumming of Quinn's guitar joined in.
"Hey, stranger. When may I call you my own?" the blonde crooned out lowly, her eyes dipping to meet Annie's, receiving a small smile in response. "I know I don't know you, but there's somewhere I've seen you before."
She nodded at Santana, who had taken a seat next to Brittany and watched on with pride etched on her features. "Whatever your name is, whatever you do. There's nothing between us I'm willing to lose."
Quinn continued on, actively avoiding Rachel's gaze and closed her eyes as the music washed over her. When her eyes fluttered open, she smiled at the sight of the crowd gently swaying in time with the music.
"And I'm drifting out over deep oceans and the tide-it won't take me back in. And these desperate nights, I'll call you again and again.
Brittany tilted her head, resting her shoulder on Santana's as she let the smallest smile pull at the corners of her mouth. Reaching up, the dancer made a heart shape with her fingers, mouthing "I love you" up at Quinn.
The blonde found herself smiling, more at ease now that the music had calmed her frayed nerves. Quinn's eyes landed on Rachel then, her breath catching when she noticed the brunette's teary gaze. "Wherever you live now, wherever you walk. There's distance between us I'm willing to cross." Hazel eyes remained fixed on the brunette as the first tear snaked its way down Rachel's cheek, the diva reaching up almost immediately to wipe it away before anyone else could notice.
"Now I'm drifting out over deep oceans, and the tide—it won't take me back in."
Quinn sang on, her voice dipping with emotion as her gaze remained on Rachel's. Repeating the chorus, the blonde forced herself to tear her eyes away from the brunette and swallowed hard before finishing the song with her eyes fixed solely on Santana.
Standing up, Quinn thanked the crowd, excusing herself as Kirsten stood to take her place. "Thank you, Quinn. She's going to take a quick little break, but don't worry. I'm here to take care of you guys."
The blonde pushed past the crowd, jerking her head in the direction of the backroom when Santana looked at her questioningly. Quinn collapsed on the small couch, looking up at the small group of people shuffling inside warily. "You guys need to make her leave."
Annie took a spot on the couch next to Quinn, taking her hand and admitting softly, "I don't understand what's happening, Quinn. But I'm here for you."
"We're all here for you." Brittany added, taking a seat on the other side of the blonde and wrapping a comforting arm around her shoulders. "But Quinn, you need to be an adult. Remember what we talked about? Grown ups—"
"I remember, Britt. But—Santana, please, you know I'm not ready. Make Rachel leave," Quinn interjected, hoping that her friend would take pity on her.
"But, how am I supposed to make her leave? I already tried and—"
"And I promptly refused to do so, even when she and Kirsten kindly offered to physically remove me from the premises." Rachel interjected quietly, entering the room. "I need a moment alone with Quinn."
Rounding on the diva, Santana growled threateningly. "If you think for even a second, I'm going to let you get anywhere near her, you are sorely fucking mistaken."
"Britt," Quinn whispered softly, "could you please take Annie out to her car?" Turning to her date, the blonde apologized. "I really enjoyed tonight and I'm sorry about what's going on right now. I'll call you, I promise."
Annie took a deep breath in, her eyes narrowed in Rachel's direction. Nodding stiffly, she leaned in and pressed a brief kiss to the corner of Quinn's mouth. "I'll be waiting. Thank you for an amazing night."
As the dancer walked out with Brittany, she murmured a soft goodbye to Santana and promptly shoulder checked Rachel into the wall, looking not at all apologetic. "Oh. I'm sorry, darling. Best to watch where you're going. You don't want to step on any toes."
"See, now that's the kind of brunette that I like," Kirsten said, strolling in the room. Pointing at Rachel, she spat out, "We reserve the right to kick people we don't like out. So come on, munchkin, you're being removed."
Ignoring Kirsten, Rachel moved towards Quinn huffing angrily when Santana held out an arm to block her. "Seriously? Quinn, I need to talk to you about something important. Could I please have a moment?"
"You don't owe her anything, Q." Santana hissed out, scowling at the diva.
Brittany walked in the room, taking in the scene and shaking her head. She moved to a chair and sat quietly. Quinn watched the dancer's obvious disapproval and sighed. "It's fine. Rachel, let's go outside."
Standing up, Quinn took a hold of Rachel's arm and led her outside. They gently weaved through the crowd; the blonde smiling in response to the compliments patrons gave her in passing.
"You're quite popular, Quinn." Rachel murmured softly, pulling her coat closed. The sound of clicking caught her attention and the brunette exclaimed, completely displeased. "You smoke now?!"
Nodding, Quinn took a long drag, taking satisfaction in the obviously disgusted look on Rachel's face.
The diva scowled, not at all happy with the confession, but let it go. Glancing out in the parking lot, she asked, "So, new girlfriend?"
Frowning, Quinn shrugged, begrudgingly divulging that it had just been a first date. "I'm here to listen to what you have to say, Rachel, not talk about who I'm seeing and what she likes to do in her spare time." She took another long drag, surprised that she had finished the cigarette so quickly. Turning to Rachel, she jerked her head to the door. "It's cold. We'll talk in the backroom and I'll grab us some coffee.
Rachel agreed mutely, following the blonde to the back of the coffee shop and taking a seat on the small couch. She watched as Quinn instructed her friends to vacate the area before disappearing herself and bringing back two cups of coffee.
Rather than hand the cup to Rachel, the part-time barista set it on the table in front of her and moved to pull out a chair in favor of the expanse of space on the soft cushions next to the other girl.
Quinn kept her eyes on her own mug, ignoring the brief flash of pain in Rachel's eyes, choosing to maintain an impassive demeanor. Eyes flitting up for a second, she watched as the brunette toyed with a loose string on the arm of her chair and thought of the opportunity the two had lost.
Rachel lifted her gaze to meet Quinn's and her smile faltered at the pain still fresh in the blonde's eyes. The taller girl dropped her gaze and took a long sip of the scalding liquid, ignoring the vivid pain of what felt like her heart breaking all over again.
She sat stiffly, her eyes roaming over the brunette, the affection shooting through every vein of her body. She felt like she was breaking apart and falling in love all over again. Willing her emotions to stay buried, Quinn swallowed hard, her mouth suddenly utterly dry. She moved to take another sip when Rachel released a small smile, unknowingly releasing masses of butterflies loose in the blonde's stomach, weakening her knees.
They drank the coffee in silence for several long seconds, choosing to listen to the movements behind the counter, the soft murmuring of the other customers, and the hissing sounds of the coffee machines rather than each other.
"I've been seeing someone." Rachel confessed, her fingers circling the rim of her mug.
Hazel eyes shot up from Quinn's mug and collided with swirling brown, making contact for a brief instance before she cleared her throat. "That's—good. I'm happy for you. Rachel."
Seemingly taken aback by the response, Rachel set the mug down suddenly and reached over. "No, no! I mean—" Pausing, the brunette took a breath, collecting her thoughts before continuing. "I meant professionally seeing someone. After we broke up—after everything you said, Quinn, I made an appointment with a therapist. We've been working through my issues almost as long as we've been apart, which is actually why I'm here today."
Quinn white knuckled her mug, her gaze fixed on Rachel's hands. "I—I'm really glad you're getting the help you need, Rachel. But, Rach—I don't know what you want me to do."
Setting the mug down, Rachel sat back and gestured for the blonde to come sit by her. When Quinn acquiesced, the brunette took her hands and squeezed gently. Ignoring the jolt that ran through her body at the diva's touch, Quinn tried to focus on Rachel's words rather than her hands.
"Part of why I decided to go through with counseling is because of what happened between us. I hurt you more than anyone else in my life and I need to properly ask for forgiveness. My therapist said that it'd be best if you could come to a few sessions, but it's entirely at your own discretion," Rachel added hurriedly. Hesitating, she bit her lip before continuing. "Finn is going to be coming to a few sessions as well. Not the same ones you'll be attending, of course. Not yet, at least. But the ideal situation is for the three of us to meet together. Finn, being the one who hurt me the most, and you, being the one I hurt the most."
Swallowing hard, Quinn worried her bottom lip with her teeth. "Rachel—I need time to think about this." Watching as the brunette's face fell, the other girl already pulling her hands away from Quinn's propelled the blonde to continue. "I—You have to know how proud I am of you. I just am so happy that you took this step in your life but I don't know what you expect from me. I can come to those sessions. I can be supportive and there for you but not with expectations—just as a friend, and not even any commitment beyond that, just a friend. I don't want to walk in there and do all this with you expecting us to reunite in the end."
Rachel's eyes fluttered shut, her hands tightening their hold on Quinn's as she let out a sigh. "Caitlyn says to be honest. I would be lying if I told you I didn't still feel something for you but this isn't for you, Quinn. It might have been in the beginning. I thought it might have been the only way that you would come back but since then it's all changed. I needed to trust myself and then work on everyone else around me." Pausing, the brunette let a hopeful smile pull up the corners of her lips. "For the first time, I don't worry all the time. It's—liberating. I feel so much lighter now and I want you to come because I want to keep making progress.
"As for my intentions, " Rachel continued, "despite the fact that I would love to pursue a romantic relationship with you, I know what's good for me and I know that right now, that's not it."
The hurt flashed through Quinn and it must have been obvious because suddenly, Rachel was backtracking frantically. "As a friend, you're a great thing for me. Quinn, please don't cry."
Sniffling, Quinn used her sleeve to swipe at her eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm not—this is all just a little overwhelming."
Smiling understandingly, the brunette patted Quinn's knee. "Can we please start over, not forgetting, not even forgiving, not yet. Just two friends helping each other out? Then, perhaps, someday we can pursue something more intimate."
Quinn nodded, warily glancing in Rachel's direction. "If I don't want to do it anymore, I can—"
"Stop anytime you want to, pinky promise. If it ever gets to be too much, just let me know and I promise not to bother you again," Rachel assured, smiling unsurely at the blonde as she continued. "Though, I hope that isn't the case. You make the best latte and I've really missed this café."
Laughing through unshed tears, Quinn smiled, small but sincere. "When's the next session?"
A/N: Once again, huge thanks to mjacton for reviewing this ahead of time. I would love to hear your thoughts on this chapter! Side note: Did everyone get a chance to see the newly released Bridesmaid scene from Glee? :)