AN: Don't own Yu Gi Oh...This is the realist in me: What if Atemu left for good? What'd happen to Yuugi then having loved him? Enjoy ?

26. Gone

"I still love him and I always will. I'm not over him Jounouchi. I love you, but...I don't know if it'll ever be the same way I loved him. Can you live with that?"

Jounouchi nodded rather sagely, with so much serenity that Yuugi feared for a moment his friend really didn't understand at all.

"Yuugi, no one's expecting you to just forget him," Jounouchi said with a shake of his head. "We all loved him. I loved him too, just in a different way than you, that's all." He shrugged. "You loved someone you could have spent forever with and they died. I know I'm not the person you had in mind Yuugi, but if you can give this a shot then I want to."

"But Jounouchi, are you really sure you can live with that, with this?" Yuugi stopped to clamp his lower lip tightly between his teeth.

"Hey, stop that, you're going to start bleeding," the blond teased, swiping a thumb across Yuugi's chin to pull the trapped lip from his gnashing mouth. When Yuugi turned slightly pink at the contact he let out a low chuckle.

"You don't have to feel guilty Yuugi," he stopped and frowned; he continued on more softly, "I know you love me, and I know I wasn't the one you hoped to end up with, but that doesn't make what you feel or I feel meaningless, Yuugi, so stop trying to beat yourself up about it. I want to be with you, but only if it makes you feel happy, not guilty. I don't want that for you...and I don't think Atemu would either."

Jounouchi waited patiently for the brief ghostly white color of Yuugi's skin to fade and return to its normal peachy tone, used to the effect Atemu's name still had on the young duelist. He said nothing as he watched the flicker of wrestling demons echo from Yuugi's dark eyes; instead he kept his hand cupping Yuugi's jaw, waiting for a signal that it was alright to further embrace his friend.

While Jounouchi waited Yuugi battled with his inner turmoil: his guilt and pain and suffering and love. Falling in love all over again had brought nearly as much pain as his yami's passing on had, when 'mou hitori no boku' had become Atemu once more and left him for good. Jounouchi had stuck with him through his period of mourning, through not only his moments of quiet despondence seen by all, but also his private moments of rage and bitter anguish. After a while falling in love with the man who had been by his side for so long seemed only natural, but initial elation had been met with an equal amount of torment.

Jounouchi's unexpected maturity, his calm understanding and acceptance over the undeniable terms and conditions of Yuugi's reciprocated love only furthered Yuugi's feelings of self-blame and inadequacy. Indeed even when Yuugi looked at him now, honey-brown eyes alight with an inner fire of love and desire, undemanding but selflessly offering, he nearly wanted to cry out in regret and frustration.

Over the slow growth of their relationship it had been as though Jounouchi had realized Yuugi's feelings even before he himself had and, through a labor and meditation all his own, had come to readily accept what he knew Yuugi could and could not offer him in return for his own affections. For all of Jounouchi's heart that he would happily give up to Yuugi, all that he had asked was that Yuugi allow himself to be happy. It had been Jounouchi's only request; to allow himself another chance to live and love as he had done so before, not with himself but with anyone at all. The idea made Yuugi's very soul swell with a kind of delirious, painful joy.

And those eyes. Those eyes, even with their different shade and shape, were oh so familiar and similar to another pair that had been red-violet instead of golden-brown. The fierceness and fury, the hardness that stayed in them most frequently, and the soft warmth that so rarely showed itself but nearly burned a man alive when it did; oh yes, they had the same eyes in every way that mattered. Sometimes Yuugi swore he saw his other self when he looked into Jounouchi's eyes, and he still wasn't quite sure how to feel about that.

He also wasn't sure how to feel about the owner of a pair of striking blue eyes; blue eyes that had become hardened ice since the romance between the best friends had become public knowledge. Yuugi hadn't failed to notice the exceedingly derisive comments Kaiba had made about their relationship, or his increasingly excessive resentment for Yuugi and the way his insults had grown harsher and more universally directed. When Jounouchi had gone head-to-head with the arrogant man Yuugi had quite clearly seen the hurt that danced on Kaiba's face as soon as Jounouchi had his back turned.

It was hard to watch how the businessman had returned so quickly to the shell he had been so slowly broken out of.

And it was just one more thing to feel guilty about. Kaiba wanted to be with Jounouchi, Jounouchi wanted to be with Yuugi, and Yuugi wanted to be with Jounouchi, but even more so wanted to be with a dead and gone disembodied spirit who hadn't actually been alive for over three thousand years.

"Yuugi," there was another gentle swipe of a thumb across his chin, "you're spacing out on me again buddy."

"Sorry," Yuugi bowed his head slightly, not daring to look into those eyes and risk seeing someone else there.

Jounouchi chuckled. "It's alright Yuugi, you don't have to apologize you me, you know. I love you Yuugi, and I'll love you no matter what; you know that right?" He paused. "It's a forever kind of love Yuugi; no matter what you decide."

Yuugi looked up, slightly startled at the sweet, but firm tone of those words. He looked up into those deep eyes, shimmering with a love patient and everlasting. For the first time in a long time he saw Jounouchi, only Jounouchi, in those eyes. It was the last straw for his breaking resolve.

"Jounouchi," Yuugi lunged forward slightly and into awaiting arms that caught him with ease. He gripped at Jounouchi's shirt and buried his face into his friend's strong chest. When a pair of warm arms encircled him tightly he felt himself began to shake, and let tears slide from his eyes.

"I will, I will," he repeated, and hoped Jounouchi would understand without demanding an explanation that he could not bear to give right then.

"Thank you Yuugi," the words came whispered into Yuugi's ear, laced with a relieved happiness that amazed him. Before Yuugi could question it or bolt out of fear and self-doubt Jounouchi rubbed at his back and arms in soothing motions with doting calloused hands.

"No, Yuugi, it's not a fairytale kind of ending," he spoke as if plucking Yuugi's worries from his mind, "but, I think, it's even less so for you, isn't it?"

Yuugi said nothing; he let his soft sobs do that talking for him.

I like this one, so I hope y'all don't think it sucks. Thanks for reading!