It was warm, golden sun shone through the mist. The grass under his skin was so green, so warm.

"Freya?" Merlin asked when she leaned over him and kissed lightly on the lips. "Can you hear it?" She whispered in his ear and Merlin frowned. "Listen Merlin. Listen the sound, how it calls you."

And he heard it. Just the sound, far away. The sound was beyond of any normal thunder. It was a roar, a scream, a howl. It was frightening than anything what Merlin was experienced.

"I don't like it." He put his arms around Freya and buried his face against her shoulder. "Don't let me go."

"I don't want to, but you have to." Freya kissed him again.

"It's warm here. I miss you still, after all these years." Merlin begged and he never wanted to leave her again.

"What was once, never be again." Freya sighed. "You have to move on. You will find her someday."

Merlin looked him, pushed the dark hair behind the ear. "No." But Freya shook her head, smiling gently, and all the love was in her eyes when she looked him.

"Yes Merlin. And when you find her, tell her how much you love her before it's too late."

"Don't…"

"Good bye. We will see again when it's your time to return to Avalon." And she disappeared in the mist.

"Freya! No!" Merlin tried to rise, his hand reached up and suddenly it was cold. Cold and pain. He screamed.

"Be still. Merlin! Can you hear me? Be still! You are hurt!"

The voice was familiar, and he calmed a bit.

"Freya." Merlin whispered and he cried. He cried with pain and sorrow.

"Who is Freya?" Someone asked.

"I really don't know. But I'm really happy to see that he's alive."

"I think it went too close." Someone said softly, like he was knowing what he was speaking. "I think he saw someone dear to him."

"Merlin has a girlfriend?"

"Had been, I think. Maybe that's why he had never told about her. Merlin, listen. It was just a dream. Focus to pain, it keeps you alive."

"Hurt."

"Where?"

"Ankle. Broke. The wounds. The Hunters. Claws. Poison." Merlin tried to control his breathing, His hand groped and got a grip on someone's arm. "The sound. It's calling me."

He was so afraid. He could still hear it.

"Just a thunder Merlin. It's already passed us."

Merlin shook his head. "Freya said… she said… follow… I have to." He started to cry again. "She is dead."

"I'm sorry."

"Arthur killed her. She's in Avalon now. She's guarding the lake now. And I can never again see her. Not until is my time. She said…"

"You have to calm down."

"What he meant that you killed her?"

"I don't know. Maybe it's just a fever talking. Has to be."

Merlin realized something. That voice.

"Arthur?"

"We are soon home. Just hang on." Arthur tried to sound calm but under it Merlin could still hear the panic.

"Never blamed you Arthur." Merlin whispered, trying to drag himself up holding his king's arm.

"Please Merlin, lay down." But Merlin just clung to him more strongly.

"I'm so sorry Arthur, but I have to go." Merlin whispered in his ear, still crying. "I have protected you and you are ready. I have to go."

"Merlin, you are not going anywhere. You listen me! Just hang on and soon we are home. You with Gaius and you get better and…"

"It was me." Merlin whispered so that Arthur barely heard it.

"What?"

"I didn't tried enough and she rose against you. I'm so sorry."

"You are not making any sense. Merlin, you are hurt, sick. Will you please listen me?"

"Arthur?" And their eyes met.

"Promise me that you come home with us." Arthur begged, not being able to cover up the horror that was shining from his eyes. Merlin smiled, but didn't answer. This time he fell in the darkness where there was no warm or the sun and not love.

Arthur held him tightly in his arms. He never let him go until they were back in Camelot and he carried Merlin all they way in Gaius' chambers. Arthur wanted to feel his friend's heart and his breathing, until he lowered him on the bed. And then there was Gaius, fussing around. And then Gwen, who finally dragged him away to his own chambers and made him eat and bath and sleep.

The dreams were full of Hunters, and Morgana screaming something. Merlin who watched him with golden eyes, smiling and swearing to protect him with his life, or dying at his side. And a beautiful girl with dark hair, smiling sadly at Merlin. And his father, Uther, standing alone, watching small boy playing in the garden. And his Mother, whispering, but he couldn't hear what.

And then he was wake again, rushing toward Gaius' chambers, Gwen on his heels.

"Merlin?" he asked before he was even opened the door, calling his friend, waiting the answer anxiously. Merlin, sitting beside of the fireplace, leaning on the warm wall, turned his head. Ghost of himself, Merlin watched at Arthur.

"I'm sorry but I have to go Arthur." Merlin turned his gaze away and Arthur stared him, then Gaius just shook his head.

"He had a high fever and broken ankle. I made antidote and all the wounds will heal. I don't think that he's able to move anywhere over month. And he can get pneumonia from all of this. He refuses to sleep. I think he sees nightmares so I'm making something to ease his mind." Gaius said quietly. "How are you sire?"

"I'm good." Arthur's gaze never left from Merlin whose glazed eyes watched the fire's play. Gaius glanced at Gwen who nodded. "Very well sire."

"Merlin." Arthur stepped closer his friend. "Merlin, tell me why you are leaving."

"It's calling me. I have to go. Freya said…" There were tears and Merlin couldn't speak more. Arthur looked Gaius worriedly and saw his shoulder tensing, not looking Merlin or Arthur.

"Freya?" Arthur asked.

"She was so kind. So beautiful." Merlin smiled to his memories. "But he died." He closed his eyes. "What was once, never be again."

Arthur stared him, listening his deep sorrowful voice, full of regrets. He couldn't understand. Somewhere back in his mind was something what he should remember. Remember to ask, but he couldn't.

"I think sire, that you left him alone." Gaius said quietly, still not looking them. "He has a really high fever. Please, come tomorrow again. And I let you know if something happens."

Arthur knew very well when he was dismissed. And there, in Gaius' place, old physician's word was heavier than king's.

"I come tomorrow see you Merlin." But Merlin didn't responded and so Arthur left. Gaius watched his ward and sighed. "Are you sure Merlin? That it was Freya?"

Merlin glanced over his uncle and nodded. "Yeah."

Gaius studied him. "And you have to leave?"

"I don't want to."

"Do you know where you are going already?"

"Yes. Yes I know." Merlin sank back into lethargy and Gaius closed his eyes wearily.

I'm half-asleep, but I just have to wrote this chap out of my little freaky mind. I hope you liked it.

Your reviews will carry me to do more for this. Thank you.