A/N: Sorry guys, this took so long because I've been looking for a job and pickings are slim at the mo. But we move on.

Chapter 2: To Raid and Conquer

The waves were choppy, and the spray was soaking everyone on deck. The salt was soaking through my clothes and making the cut Isabella gave me a few days ago stings like a BITCH! The others told me that we were heading into a storm. Yeah, no shit. What tipped you off, the black clouds pouring buckets of rain, the choppy waves sending spray halfway up the sails, or the fact we're heading into a massive storm!

Wow, does pain make me angry.

I make my way across the deck, the rain pounding into me like I'm in a freezing cold shower. Around me, pirates are securing things and tying things off... I don't know a lot about boats. I'll stick to the stuff I need to know, like how to kill people. I pound my fist on Isabella's door and sweep in.

"Isabella?" I call, unable to see her. I wring out my shirt and my hair, it's swept back past my shoulders now. If I had to describe it... I look a bit like Loki from the Avengers. Hair wise anyway. But I've lost most of the fat I had when I arrived, turning it into hard muscles. "Isabella? Where the hell are you? Mordecai said we..." I'm not quite ready for how she answers my call.

You see, Isabella has an adjoining room in her cabin. It's got her perfumes, soaps and her bath. I have dubbed it, the "bathroom". I know, I'm a genius. And Izzy dearest doesn't invest in towels.

"Sparrow? What do you want?" she asks with mild annoyance. Mild?! She's completely naked, body glistening...

"Well, uh, I was just, uhhh... That's amazingly distracting you know?" I cough gruffly, turning my head. I see her saunter over to me and I feel myself getting redder and redder with each step. She grabs my chin and slowly turns my head to face her.

What is going on? Yeah, we've been working pretty close since I came aboard but apart from vague innuendos, crude annecdotes and mild flirting, there's been nothing?

"Is there something wrong, Serah Sparrow?" she asks playfully. I feel my back prickling uncomfortably and sweat begins to bead my forehead.

"Well, Captain," I say tightly, putting extra emphasis on the Captain part, "You appear to be improperly dressed. First Mate Mordecai ordered me to inform you that we're just over an hour away from the frigate's estimated course. Like the others we've taken this month, it should be an easy capture. However, you may have noticed we're sailing into a storm so it may take longer than usual to intercept. That is all to report Captain." The whole time I've kept my eyes focused on a candle over Isabella's head.

"An hour, eh? A lot can happen in an hour, don't you agree Sparrow?" She runs a hand down my chest and pulls herself closer and I look into her eyes and see the lust in her eyes. She wants me? Oh Jesus H Christ on a bike. Are we gonna...

OKAY, this is the reasonable side of your brain. Apparently it took me six months to get here. What the hell are you doing? This is not you, any of this? You've spent the last six months playing pirate and calling yourself a Jack SPARROW?! You've been playing with swords - that cut is still stinging - which only means you're gonna use them on someone and you are seriously considering having sex with a VIDEO GAME CHARACTER! At what point is this gonna end? We have to concentrate on getting home, not playing make believe. You've been gone six months, people will notice. What about your family? They'll be wrecked! And while they worry themselves half to death - you know Mum - you're gonna bang a fake woman! Anyway, this is not how YOU treat women! We've spent the past 5 years being friends with girls. Just like Amy...

{"I'm just saying, Batman beats Superman," I say seriously.

"No freakin' way, Superman has super powers, he can fly, super strength... He can burn shit with his eyes! Batman dies in a broken, bloody burnt heap. Robin too." my best friend Joey laughs while wrapping his arm around our mate, Amy. She shakes her head in bemusement at debates been running for the last 5 minutes.

"You know there is actually a video of Batman kicking Supermans ass. When he's in his 60's. Granted he's in a robotic exo-skeleton but that's because he's in his 60's for christ sake. He and Superman have an epic battle, Batman stands over Superman and says he's letting him live so he can remember Batman as the only man who beat him. Then he kinda has a heart attack and dies -"

"So Superman wins," interupts Joey.

"Which is actually a trick so the government don't kill him, but not before leaving Superman in a bloody pool of his own tears and teeth. Ergo, Superman sucks ass. Anyway, Batman has spent years honing his body into a carefully contstructed weapon of force. Superman just woke up, the sun's in his face and BAM! Bitch can fly."

Joey's silent for a few moments before he just grunts. I do my victory dance as he walks into the sandwich shop. Amy just laughs at "her boys". I grin at her goofily. I've been in love with her for the past 3 years, dating her for 2 before she ended things. Recently though, she's been hanging out with me and Joey. My heart can't help but flutter as we're left alone.

"So, alone again, eh?" I laugh forcefully while Amy just smiles. She's worried about something. I can tell by the way she's running her hand through her hair and looking away. This is not going to be good.}

I take a deep breath and close my eyes, not wanting to appear off to Isabella. That's what happened to me. My last day. That's what happened after I left the school. I was with Joey and Amy walking down the street and then... Crap, that's all I remember. That was pointless. Why can't I remember anything useful. I open my eyes and it takes a second for the darkness to pull away.

Oh shit, Isabella. I almost forgot she was here. Oh god what do I do? If I do it - her - then I just nailed a video game character, earning me the envy and ire of men and women the world over. On the other hand, stories from the game would lead me to believe that Isabella has been nailed by people the world over. That and the fact I'd be compromising every belief that I've ever believed in, everything I've been taught.

What the hell do I do?

A/N: Just gonna leave you guys on that little cliffhanger there, what will our little pirate do? I thought I had to 3D his character a little so that it was more believable. I hope you guys and gals found the little lecture to himself funny but I was trying to get across that he's just not been thinking straight since he got to Thedas.

I think I'm gonna have a little fun with this fic and bring in elements from other games that have similar settings. No full-blown crossovers, just little tweaks here and there. I've got a few ideas, but let me know if you have any ideas. BTW, there will be NO Game of Thrones. I've not read the books, watched the show and I'm hesitant to do so.

So that's done now, read and review and let me know what our poor Sparrow should do ;)