Edit 4/4/2015: to guest reader Lisa, yes, I'm reading and appreciating comments, particularly those that stop and mention details they like or not of each chapter ;-). Thanks a lot!
October, 20th
Bertha Dixon:
Frederick Hale, the boy I loved as my own, came for the weekend. He is sleeping in a small alcove under the stairs, and I helped arrange the room by bringing some extra furniture I have lying around my home.
I am very happy to see my boy, now a family man, but the reason of his visit is anything but joyful. Tomorrow Maria will tell him, as well Margaret and Richard, that she has been diagnosed with terminal bone cancer and is wary of aggressive treatment. Maria feels she has lived a full life and wants to avoid extending the suffering needlessly so she will probably refuse treatment, as it is her right.
Maria is tired, I know. She married for love and was content with her life until recently when she felt things started to unravel. Frederick left for Spain and she misses him terribly, and then she felt betrayed by Margaret reaching out to her birth mother. But the real coup, I believe, came when she and Richard retired. Something happened then and I suspect I know what was it.
October, 22nd
Richard:
Maria's words haven't sunk yet. I go through my daily motions but I am literal when I say, I can't believe it. The notion of losing Maria surpasses the limits of my human condition.
October, 23rd
Margaret:
My mother will die soon. I wish I had refused the Shaws' help and had stayed home, close to my parents in Oxford. I wish I hadn't been so selfish, I wish we had had more time... but regret has never been more useless than now. I still have her with me and I will nurse her, if not back to health at least to ease her pain and fear.
My father is in shock and I will try my best to look after him during this time of distress, too. Maybe I will teach some of his lessons and I'm definitely taking a sabbatical year. I was looking for a job at non profits, the chamber of commerce, the health ministry and other policy making organizations but I'll put that on wait until later. Thinking "after mama dies" brings a lump to my throat so I try to push it to the back of my mind, but it's exactly what it will be.
As I plan the menus for the week my mind is flooded by good memories, the warm refuge of my mother's arms when I would have a nightmare, her loving care when I fell off my bike and scraped a knee, her unwavering faith in me, her daughter Margaret. She sometimes didn't approve of my choices (I am aware she wanted me to become a lawyer), but she supported them nevertheless.
And I love her, I love her so much. Have I told her enough times?
Frederick:
One of those fears that lurks behind my daily worries is anyone of my close family dying. It's one of those things so terrifying that it doesn't bear thinking, and now it will become true, maybe twice. I haven't shared the news that Dolores is pregnant but in bed rest for fear of giving false hopes, or maybe if the worst happens, of the others' grief over the miscarriage not being enough. Babies aren't real for many people until they are outside the womb but for parents they are very, very real, sometimes even before they are conceived.
Margaret, always the soldier, is going to keep the fort during our mother's illness. To be honest I have still some hope she might recover, that there was a mistake. She looked tired but not so sick.
Note: Mrs. Hale's mysterious disease (I believe E. Gaskell had something particular in mind) probably begins before the book starts, as Margaret notices that Dixon and her mother spend a lot of time together in her room, door locked, and Dixon seems to have cried afterwards. From the symptoms described I guess it could be stomach, intestine, colon, cervical or uterine cancer, but I have little knowledge so it's pretty much a wild guess. The treatment of the diseases and death among different classes is one very interesting topic in the original story, which gets completely washed out in my version because I'm not killing Bessy Higgins.
The original story's Dr. Donaldson sees Mrs. Hale for the first time in Ch. 16 "The shadow of death" and breaks the news to Margaret, in spite of her mother requesting the opposite. "He spoke two short sentences in a low voice, watching her all the time; for the pupils of her eyes dilated into a black horror and the whiteness of her complexion became livid." The doctor also tells Mr. Thornton, which I find utterly unethical and inappropriate behavior, but I guess doctors back then would yield access to their secrets to people of influence who might be interested in knowing - or maybe it was a licence from the author.