And here is the chapter, as promised. I'm being too good to you guys I know. Enjoy it while it lasts

The Invisible Predator: I now know why George R Marting, Joss Whedon and Steven Moffat are all so cruel... Your words sustain me, power me, give me strength... Thank you for the lovely review, I try better to make you hate me :)

Ioialoha: Loving the enthusiasm :D

Snowhelm: Yeah, "Sparrow" was very proud of his rugged mane... until he was forced to get rid of it. I'm kinda like that, easily distracted by a sliver of stray thought. And with all the stuff Sparrow has to think about, hardly surprised his mood can turn quickly. Yeah, I should really get around to naming some of these weapons he's picked up as he's got quite a collection now. As for Darrien and Tamarel... Let's just say that their stories are only just beginning.

MAS: Do not tempt the almighty Hero Jack "The Badass" Sparrow. If you have dementia, this may not be the story for you. It jumps around a lot and I'd hate for you to get lost along the way.

That's Sparrows Job... *evillest of evil grins*

bandgsecurtyaw: Many thanks, hope I won't disappoint later on

So yes, now that I've answered all the lovely reviews above, seriously thanks guys you always manage to make me smile, onto the business of actually telling the story. As usual, it contains mature content, mature themes, spoilers... A LOT of crudeness, rudeness and broodiness. Once more, with feeling, give it up for Jack Sparrow!

Scoundrel 17: The Road Home

"You are in awfully good spirits," Duncan observes as we leave Denerim to start our quest. I give him a huge smile, the same one that's graced my features since I woke up.

"Why shouldn't I be? The birds are singing, the sun is shining, we're finally moving forward... I'm feeling good, for the first time since..." My mind lurches back to that night in the Butchers. It doesn't feel like it's been nearly a fortnight. Feels more like months. "A long time," I say in a slightly quieter voice, as though I've lost the energy.

"Good, we will need a positive attitude for the road ahead," Duncan says with a small smile as he looks ahead. I smile as well all the while an old, romantic song goes through my head. I whistle merrily as Duncan stares at me oddly, before shaking his head.

I JUST HAD SEX, AND IT FELT SO GOOD!

We make good time and when we arrive in Lothering a few weeks later we're both quite knackered, even with our superhuman stamina. We hardly stopped apart from sleep and food and it's left our bodies weak. Me much more so than Duncan, but I'm blaming that on the fact that he's a lot more experienced at this than me.

For the first time since Denerim, Duncan and I sleep on beds after booking a room in the inn where I think you meet Leliana in Origins. Thinking back, she'd be in a Chantry somewhere right now. Maybe that's where she belongs, I ponder. I mean, the effects of this life on me have been... subtle, but noticeable.

I don't like to admit this but... I barely recognise myself any more. My taut muscles. My calloused and scarred hands. My near bald head. We passed a merchant on the road and I saw my face for the first time in... months I think.

My skin looks rougher. More weathered. The scar on my cheek is healing well, but it's still puckered and fresh. Give it a year and it might settle a bit I hope. My mouth looked thinner, less likely to smile. And my eyes... They were like a strangers eyes. They were old eyes. Tired eyes.

I shuck away these dark thoughts and try to rest, knowing that I'll need it. As I'm getting comfortable Duncan's voice splits the darkness. "What do you dream about Sparrow?"

My eyes open as I jerk slightly in the bed, causing it to creak slightly as I pant lightly, my heart racing. "What?" I ask tiredly, already falling back asleep.

"Your dreams. What are they about?" he asks plainly. One of the greatest problems with talking to Duncan is his voice hardly ever varies with emotion. You really have to be looking at him to know how he feels.

"I don't pay attention to my dreams," I mutter quietly, staring out into the darkness. It's so quiet. I'd never realised how loud my world is. I always remember cars passing by outside, or planes overhead, electronics humming or tv's running... None of that's here. It's just nature, at it's very core.

"You talk in your sleep," Duncan notifies me, and my jaw tightens, then tenses.

"I also have a tendency to walk about and piss in corners," I laugh slightly, before my mirth leaves me. "What's your point?"

"The things you say..." Duncan leaves it open ended. But if what I'm saying in my sleep has any relation to what I'm seeing when I dream... "You can speak to me, if there are any issues bothering you."

"If there was, I would," I say quietly, and I hope my words convince him more than they do me.

"The offer is there if you require it. It is not my place to judge your actions Sparrow but perhaps I could ease some of the burdens you feel," He says solemnly before rolling over and I feel the conversation is over.

I would Duncan, if I could. But what can I say? I miss my family? My dog, my car. I miss my friends and my school. I miss electricity and plumbing. I miss having ignorance of the future. I miss being innocent. I miss my chubby, hairy mildly scarred body as opposed to this tall, muscular and moderately scarred one I've got. I miss my old life.

I don't like knowing what's going to happen in the world for the next decade. I don't like not knowing what's going to happen in the next few years. I don't like how I'm getting used to ending lives.

I remember all my dreams. Back home, I barely ever dreamt. Usually when I did they were just pictures or feelings, mostly filled with sex or comedy. Now they're haunted.

Blood. Fire. Death. Murder. Captains and Dread Wolfs. Dragons and Darkspawn. Magic and Malificarum. Family and friends long missed. And the word, oh god that single word.

Remember.

The dreams have been expanding and growing since I arrived in Thedas. Every event shaping me is shaping the dream. If I've been talking in my sleep this whole time, what did Tamarel, my room-mate hear when I was at my weakest?

"He would find it hard to understand some of your more outlandish tales, but he would still understand your feelings. He'd understand the darkness. No one adjusts to this kind of life overnight. Some never do," Oakvale mournfully whispers from within his sheath under my bed.

"Never show weakness..." Blades hisses and I stiffen. He's right. They both are. Duncan wouldn't understand, he's been a part of this world all his life. This isn't just an adjustment for me, this is all brand new. I've only been here a year after all, he was born here.

No, he wouldn't understand. And it's for the best. I'm used to dealing on my own.

I start to nod off after coming to my decision but jerk myself awake. I tear off a strip of the sheets and gag myself.

Loose lips sink ships.

We awaken early the next morning, and I discreetly pull my gag off before Duncan can notice. I avoid his gaze throughout the morning as we have breakfast, which consists of sausages, bacon, potato scones, mushrooms and toast. Close to a Full English, but not quite right without beans.

In other news, I would kill for some beans.

But on the plus side I've got some "freshly squeezed" orange juice. The last time I even saw an orange was back home, so it was a joyous occasion all around.

Or at least it would be. See, the only problem for me is that "morning" should really be around midday. It's a much better timescale for me. I'd be fine with that.

And it's always in the mornings I get cravings for a cigarette. Oh sweet nicotine, how I miss you. You'd wake me up quick.

A pretty serving girl with startlingly blue eyes brings me another glass of juice, and winks at me. I arch an eyebrow at her retreating form. Oi bitch, it is way to early to be that perky! Also, I was a waiter for a while, I know the tricks. Give me a wink, maybe a small laugh and you feel entitled to a larger tip. Come on, you must be like 15 for christ sake!

As I slowly eat my food, grumbling all the while, the door opens and lets in a crisp morning breeze that sends a small shiver down my spin. I become aware of someone standing next to us and look up. A skinny black haired kid with piercing blue eyes is standing next to us, and looking between me and Duncan. The only thing of note is that he's holding a piece of paper. I look up and scowl at him. He looks back, unsure. Awk wee lamb...

"And what the fuck do you want," I ask harshly, wincing slightly at my tone. It's not this kids fault I'm in a mood.

"Forgive my companion," Duncan says reproachfully, sending a glare at me before turning much softer eyes to the kid. "Can we help you with something young man."

"I... was told to give this letter to Duncan," he says and I can hear the pre-pubescent fear in his voice. My wince turns to a grimace. I may have just taught a kid a swear. That's bad ju-ju.

"I am Duncan," the Commander smiles warmly, holding out his hand for the letter. The kid gives it to him. With one last stern look at me, for which I wince appropriately, he opens the letter.

Duncan is reading a letter, his brow furrowed. I mumble something around a mouthful of sausage meat and toast.

"Excuse me?" Duncan asks in slight distaste. I swallow my dry food and take a swing of my juice. Yeah... "freshly squeezed", sure.

"Good news?" I repeat myself before returning to my gorging. It's not the tastiest I've eaten - that belt goes to and stays with my Mother - but I'm hungry and it's edible so... Insert half-hearted noms here.

"I'm being called back to Denerim," Duncan says slowly, though I can tell (because I can see him now) he's a bit surprised and worried. To be honest, so am I. We only left a few weeks ago, maybe a month and a half? He'd already put everything into order before we left so he could avoid such disturbances. My foul mood sours.

"The fuck? Why? Who the hell is it?" I growl angrily. I need to get to Flemeth's as soon as possible. I can't be bothered with all these distractions.

"Elvha believes that there are some new recruits ready for selection, and the Warden-Commander has to oversee the proceedings," He narrows his eyes and examines the letter more closely.

How the hell did she round up a bunch of criminals this quick? Duncan checked out the jails before we left and there were no good pickings. Was there a riot or something? I mean, how much can change in a couple of months.

I flash back to the whole Assassins thing that took place in less time... Okay, so there's that.

"So what's the plan," I ask as I sip at my juice. Duncan's silent. "Yo, Duncan?"

"Yes?" he looks up, before shaking his head. "Well, I best return to Denerim and inspect these new recruits myself. It may do well to ensure that we don't have a repeat occurrence of the past few months." He looks at me, grim as a grave.

I can tell I'm waking up now as my lips curl into a smile. "Come on, not everyone's good enough for assassins," I boast, and Duncan lets out a small chuckle. "So I guess the road trip is delayed," I say grumpily.

"I am afraid so," Duncan says sombrely. "There may be other reasons for my being called back. Elvha knows better..." His brow furrows even more and mine follows suit. What's Elvha playing at. I know she's ignorant to the finer details of our mission but still, when the boss is away you don't call him back at the nearest opportunity.

"I can't be arsed walking all the way back," I whine, leaning across the table. "Can't I just stay here?" I ask, more out of habit than anything. It was a common war cry back home when Mum wanted me to go to the shops.

Duncan's silent for a few moments, pondering. "Very well. Stay here, and stay out of trouble," he says simply before tending to his own porridge. I blink at him.

"So... I can stay?" I ask, somewhat confused. The man hasn't let me outside of the city for months and now he's fine with me being weeks away?

"Yes, I am sure you're capable of staying here for a few months by yourself while I deal with the Wardens. Do you?" he asks, casting his gaze over me as he finishes his porridge and walks away.

"Oh hell yes, might get bored but that's fine," I say, with a barely contained grin. I wouldn't describe the Commanders presence as stifling, but there was a certain chafing, him always keeping an eye on me. Time to cut loose! A big cheesy grin spreads over my face before it gives way to a confused look. The kid is still standing there.

"Is there any thing else?" I ask unsurely.

"I, um, was told I was getting paid..." He says and his face twitches a little. Interesting...

"Oh yeah? How much?" I ask with a smirk, noticing how Duncan seems to have left me with the bill for the food and his letter. Cheeky bugger. I go for my coin purse, dump it on the table and the kids eyes widen dramatically at the sound of all those coins.

"I uh..." The kids starts to stutter and I laugh, maybe a bit cruelly. Bloody chancer. I open the coin purse and do some calculations before handing him over a dozen coins, which he gapes at.

"For future reference, your left eye twitches when you lie and you gotta talk with more confidence," I say with a smirk before turning back to my juice. "If you can make yourself believe it, you can make others believe it."

"CARVER!" Shouts the waitress from earlier, storming towards us with a thunderous expression. My eyes widen and I look at the kid. "Leave my customers alone!"

No way...

"Come on Beth, it's customary," the kid, Carver Hawke smiles cheekily as he back tracks out of the door. I stare at him, mouth slightly open.

"Sorry about that, my brother can be an arse at times," the waitress says with a tired smile towards me. Bethany...

"It's quite alright," I say, keeping my speech under control. "I'll have another juice," I say, handing her the same amount of coins I did her brother, along with the cost of the food and room for the next week. She reacts similarly to her brother, eyes widen before stuttering away. I guess I did give her a big tip as well.

Duncan re-enters the room, his pack slung over his shoulder. "So, are you sure you want to stay here? I will not return for a month or so. I am relying on you to stay out of trouble if you stay. To aid you, I've left a missive giving you permission to act freely while I'm away. It should stop people from arresting you, if it comes to that. Just don't kill someone."

I look up at my mentor with a disbelieving smile. "You know, I think I'll be able to find something to keep me entertained after all."

Tune in next time!

The Queasy Sparrow Flies on Fridays