Oh, my glob. Here I am again, not even ten days after the last update. It feels like it's been forever.
Anyways, if this one seems especially angsty or anything else out of the ordinary, I'll take the full blame. I've just been having a hard time dealing with everything lately - I feel like my life's crumbling from beneath my feet and I have nothing to grab onto, no one to call... Just, I feel like I've lost like, everything in the past month. I feel like I've lost one of my closest friends, lost a part of myself... I feel like I'm going to lose marching band, because my mom's already threatened to take me out 'cause I've already fallen behind in my studies.
Homework is the bane of my existence.
I've lost my patience with people, I've lost my will of tolerance, I feel like I've lost all emotions except for sorrow, and it's all my fault. I've been trying to drown myself in music, drown myself in work, drown myself in sleep, anything that doesn't have to do with people. And it sucks, because I get up every morning and I have to greet people with a smile on my face and act like nothing's wrong when everything's wrong, all because I don't want to dump my problems on other people.
Yeah... it's all my fault I'm like this, and I just don't know how to fix it...
Anyways. My anniversary's in three days. It'll mark my second year here. I wanna say I'm looking forward to it, but I'm not, 'cause I haven't finished the first chapter of TT (Those Things) and I need to have that done by then. Woo, go deadlines.
So that's my life now. I've fallen off my metaphorical cliff and I'm plummeting into the negativity below. Sigh.
Disclaimer: Disclaimed.
Prompt 4: Lethal Habits
It was just another cigarette. It wouldn't kill him.
One more wouldn't kill him.
Axel pulled his lighter and cigarette pack from his back pocket, unable to resist the urge. His emerald eyes lit up as the flame ignited in his lighter, sending the end of the cigarette ablaze. With shaking fingers, he lifted the thin stick up to his lips, inhaling slowly, deeply, savoring the feeling that danced through his senses.
He knew it was wrong. He knew he shouldn't smoke.
He knew it was bad.
Axel knew it all, he knew all the warnings, he saw all the commercials...
But he couldn't help it.
One more cigarette wouldn't kill him.
It was late. Far too late for any teenager to be out. Even so, here he was, by the docks, surrounded. Surrounded by thugs. Thugs bigger than him, stronger than him.
No matter. They didn't scare him.
Riku grinned, his heart rate accelerating. He loved the rush of getting into fights. It didn't matter the odds, if there was a fight, he was there, fists at the ready.
Everyone warned him that these fights could get him killed one day, but he couldn't help it. He couldn't live without the rush, even if it was potentially lethal.
One of the guys stepped forward, frowning down at the teenager. Riku held his ground, staring right back up at the giant with determination.
It wasn't long before fists were flying.
Riku had already been knocked to the ground several times, but he always got back up, his adrenaline the only thing keeping him going. He ignored the pain surging through his body and jumped back into the fray.
One more fight wouldn't kill him.
This couldn't cost him his life.
Kairi looked at herself in the mirror and frowned. Tears formed in her eyes and she looked at the plate of food she had gotten just minutes before.
It was a simple meal. A ham and cheese sandwich with lettuce, some celery, a glass of juice.
It's too much.
She took the sandwich off of the styrofoam plate and threw it in the trash.
If she didn't eat meat, she wouldn't get any fatter.
She looked in the mirror again. Her bones were starting to become more and more apparent every month, but she still felt fat.
She still felt hideous.
She looked back to the plate.
It's too much.
Slowly, she threw away two of the four sticks of celery that sat there. If she didn't eat, she wouldn't get fat.
Her mother tried to "help" her, but she didn't need help. She was fat and she needed to fix it.
She looked down at her plate again.
Too much, too much.
The whole plate was soon in the trash, leaving the glass of juice as the only thing left. The auburn-haired girl slowly took a sip of the juice only to gag when she realized how sweet it was.
Sugar makes you fat.
It wasn't long before the juice was down the drain and Kairi was back in her room, door closed, examining herself in the mirror again. She shook her head, falling onto her bed with her face in her hands.
It was an issue. She couldn't stop it. She couldn't stand to be fat.
She'd get teased, she'd be taunted...
Skipping one more meal wouldn't kill her.
Soon she'd be skinny again and everyone would love her.
Skipping one more meal wouldn't kill her.
Ah, don't ask why I picked these three in particular - it just kinda happened that way.
Oh, me and my writing. Sigh.
Review if you dare.