Chapter Six

Secret Keepers

Morgana smiled to herself as she passed through the trees of the small woodland, while her other two companions desperately searched for Arthur. Although it was worrying that the Prince had disappeared without warning, it provided her with the perfect opportunity to separate herself from the group, something she had been hoping to do since last night, as there was someone she needed to see.

At first Morgana hurried off through the woodland calling out Arthur's name, but once the footsteps and cries of Merlin and Gwen had faded into the distance, she slowed down and fell silent, waiting for someone to find her. She was now just on the outskirts of the woodland, and all her senses were alert for anyone approaching. She didn't want to bump into any of her companions just now, it would make things rather more complicated if she did.

A voice broke through the silence.

"Sister,"

Morgana grinned as she heard a familiar voice behind her, and turned to see Morgause standing there. They shared a quick embrace before glancing around, making sure no one else was nearby, then heading a little further into the trees.

"I'm sorry I couldn't talk to you sooner, I didn't want to raise any suspicions." Morgana said, keeping her voice low.

"Do not worry," Morgause smiled, "I have not been waiting long, you have been doing well so far, sister, no one seems to suspect you."

At these words, Morgana lost her smile. "I think Merlin is suspicious. He hasn't said much, but he seemed reluctant to let me leave with them, it may just be because I am the King's ward, but I'm not sure how much he trusts me. He has been wary of me ever since I returned to Camelot."

Morgause matched Morgana's frown and for a moment, despite all their physical differences, they looked exactly alike, no one could deny that they were sisters. "Nimueh told us to be wary of him, perhaps he knows that you are not wholly on the Prince's side anymore. Just make sure you do nothing to let his suspicion grow, show him that you are a loyal companion to Arthur and even if he remains distrustful without any evidence he cannot share his fear with the others."

"I tried to stop them from running away, but there was little I could say that wouldn't make them suspicious. I fear I may have made things harder for ourselves now Arthur has Merlin and Gwen by his side." Morgana admitted.

Morgause shook her head in disagreement. "We know there was a chance that this would happen and we prepared ourselves well for the Prince's departure. The curse will continue to work whether Arthur is in Camelot or not. The King will be enraged to hear that his son has disappeared along with his ward, even if he did want to forgive the Prince. The heir of Camelot has vanished and the King's heart will be broken. Do you know where Arthur is heading?"

It was Morgana's turn to shake her head, "They want to go and find some Druids, believing that they might be able to find a cure, but until we find any sign of where Druids might be we will do nothing but wander across Kingdoms."

Morgause thought about this for a moment, her piercing blue eyes focused on something in the distance, "The Druids will not have a cure for Arthur, only death can free him from the curse, but they might be able to tell him more about what's happening to him or what's about to come. Perhaps they will even hear word about the events in Camelot and tell the Prince. In which case we cannot let them find the Druids, we cannot afford to give him more allies. I hear that Uther's men are looking for the Prince, but I have not seen any soldier on my journey to meet you."

"I needed to gain Merlin's trust to let me come with them, so I promised the others I would persuade Uther to let Arthur leave Camelot so he can find a cure." Morgana explained, "I went to the King as I said I would, but what they do not know is that I told him his son had already fled and had gone South. I assumed we would head North as that's the quickest way to Camelot's borders, but I needed them to believe that we would not be pursued, at least for now. It won't take Uther's men long to realise that the King's ward has also disappeared that that they have made a mistake, soon they will be following our tracks North."

Morgause smiled, "A wise decision sister, Arthur will have no idea that he is still being chased until the King's men are right behind him, then there will be no escape. Did you manage to place the mandrake root under the King's bed before you left?" She added.

Morgana nodded. "I did that when the others thought I was still talking to him. Everyone was so busy looking for the Prince no one took notice of what the King's ward was doing."

Morgause smiled proudly at these words, "Excellent work sister, soon the King's fragile mind will begin to show cracks and everyone will think he's losing his mind over his lost son. And it won't be long before Arthur too begins to feel the full effect of our vengeance. You have done very well, everything is going as we hoped."

Morgana smiled, her sister's praise was all she needed. She wished Morgause could stay longer, but in the brief silence she heard footsteps approaching them, reminding her that she was meant to be looking for the Prince.

"I'd better get back to the others in case I've been gone too long," Morgana said quickly.

Morgause nodded, "Keep up the good work sister, I shall return to Camelot but will be back soon so we can discuss the progress of our plans." Morgause took Morgana's hands and gave them a tight squeeze, Morgana squeezed them back. She sometimes felt so lost and alone in the castle of Camelot, but when she stood with her sister she felt she was just where she should be, and everything was going to be all right.

With a whispered goodbye, the two sisters departed, and Morgana hurried to find her companions, whose voices were growing louder.

"Arthur come back!"

"Keep away from me Merlin!"

"Please, at least let me explain!"

Arthur was storming across the fields away from Merlin, who was desperately trying to keep up. But at these words he hesitated and turned back. His eyes were ablaze with fury.

"Why, so you can lie to me again?" He spat.

"Arthur, I never lie to you," Merlin replied in a small voice.

"Yes you would, you've been lying to me for years. I trusted you Merlin, but all along you were keeping your true self from me. How could you? After all we've been through, you had me deceived all this time."

"You know why I couldn't have told you, if the King found out I could be killed for something I cannot help, something I was born with!" Merlin said, his desperation was also turning into anger. Even when Arthur experiences for himself what it is like to have magic he still turns against his best friend. "I'm only telling you now so you would realise you're not alone in all of this!"

Arthur shook his head as if Merlin was a fly buzzing around his hair, "I thought I was travelling with friends, but it turns out I was travelling with a liar. If I hadn't been given this curse how long would it have been until you told me about your magic? Would you have stayed by my side for years, silent, until I was drawing my last breaths, and then suddenly announce that all my life you had been deceiving me? How can I trust you Merlin when all this time you could have been using magic against me?"

"I would never use magic against you Arthur-" Merlin began.

"Perhaps once I would have believed you, but how can I trust anything you have said, anything that you have done, anymore?" Arthur demanded, his voice raising to a yell. For a moment Merlin swore he could feel heat coming off Arthur, the same heat you feel when you are warming your hands over a fire on a cold winter's night. It was worryingly unnatural and if it had happened in any other situation it would have given Merlin great cause to be concerned. But for now more important things were hanging in the balance.

At that moment a third figure came out of the woodland behind them. They turned to see Gwen hurrying towards them.

"What's going on?" She demanded as she reached them. "We've all been looking for you Arthur and then I heard shouting, I thought you were under attack."

Merlin was about to explain but Arthur spoke first.

"You best stay away Gwen," He snapped, "I thought I was the dangerous one, but it turns out Merlin has magic too! Did he keep it from you as well? Or am I the only one in the whole of Camelot who didn't know my manservant was also a monster?"

Merlin would have argued against this and tried to explain himself to Gwen, but he suddenly found himself lost for words. Hearing Arthur call him a monster because he had magic hurt more than any physical blow the Prince might have given him when he found out, and it bruised his heart. He trusted Arthur as much as Arthur trusted him, how could he say that?

Gwen was silent for a moment, her mouth open and eyes wide with shock, glancing between a red-faced Arthur and a pale Merlin, hand on her chest as if she too had just felt the blow. Then she closed her mouth and looked stern. Merlin was terrified that she too was going to turn against him. But then she turned to the Prince.

"I have known Merlin just as long as you have," she spoke firmly to Arthur, "and there's nothing he could do or say that would make him a monster in my eyes."

Merlin was relieved at these words, but Arthur was not impressed by Gwen's reaction. "So you knew?" He snapped.

Gwen shook her head, "No Arthur, I didn't know. But I always...suspected. I knew there was something different about Merlin from the first time I met him. I didn't know what it was and I would never have guessed it was sorcery, but having magic makes sense. And when you think about all the times he has helped you and so many others, what does it matter if he does have magic? He's probably been using it for good, and that's what matters."

"But he lied to you too!" Arthur said, pointing an accusatory finger at Merlin, who suddenly felt very small despite Gwen's support. "He's probably been using magic under our noses this whole time and never told us!"

Gwen sighed, "I must admit that I am hurt that Merlin did not share his secret with me and although it would have come as a shock I would have kept it, but I understand why he couldn't. Just look at the way you're reacting, if I had done the same or if someone had overheard, he would have ended up face to face with the King and he would not have shown mercy."

Arthur stared at Gwen and Merlin, finding it hard to believe that she was actually taking the liar's side. There was a pause, then he turned and marched away from them. Merlin and Gwen gave each other a worried glance before hurrying after the Prince.

"Arthur, I understand you've been through a lot these past few days, but you must think clearly, you have to forgive Merlin, after all he's done for you," Gwen called after him.

"What does it matter?" Arthur shouted as if the two were miles away. "After all that's happened I find he has been keeping this secret from me, deceiving me, tricking all of us into thinking he was someone he is not. Merlin is a stranger to me now."

"You can't really mean those words, you're just in shock, give it time to sink in and you'll have more perspective!" Gwen said, picking up her pace just as Arthur did, they were now going in a wide circle around the woodland. "Where are you going?" She demanded, frustrated.

"Away from both of you. I should have left Camelot on my own, I never should have brought you three with me. I'm too dangerous and there aren't enough people I can trust."

"But-" Merlin began.

"And I definitely don't want to hear anything from you, Merlin!" Arthur snapped.

Gwen finally caught up with Arthur and seized his arm, pulling him to a stop. "Enough, Arthur! Stop running away, at least let Merlin explain, at least think about what you're saying to your friend!"

Arthur glowered at Gwen, but he didn't pull away. Instead he turned to face Merlin. "Fine," he growled, "Merlin, what do you have to say for yourself?"

Merlin took a deep breath, there was so much he wanted to say, but now the time came it was difficult to put any of it into words.

"There's always been someone in my life whose hated me for what I am." He began, "some in my village accepted it, some ignored it and others were afraid of it. My mother sent me away because she thought I would have a better life and be safe in Camelot, but once more I was surrounded by hatred and I was forced to keep who I really was a secret because if anyone found out they could tell the King, and if anyone told the King I would be executed. Even when I worked for and became friends with his son, I couldn't say a word because I was so afraid of what might happen if you found out, if you would react the same way as your father." And you have, Merlin thought to himself, but he pushed this to the back of his mind. Arthur may be Uther's son, but he wasn't Uther himself. He had given Merlin a chance to explain, he had to take this opportunity to make Arthur see things differently, so he continued.

"I wanted to tell you though, because I hated keeping secrets from my friends. I kept on trying to find opportunities where it would be safe enough to tell you, and you would keep my secret and not tell the King. I told you now because you need me Arthur, you can't walk away because you need your friends to help you through this. I know what it is like to be terrified of the unseen power you have inside you, but for you it must be even worse because of how it came about and because of who your father is." Merlin paused, hoping this comment wouldn't cause Arthur to snap at him once more, but the Prince was silent. He was glowering at Merlin, his jaw tight and his eyes narrowed, but he was giving his manservant a chance to explain himself. Gwen held onto his hand for support, and maybe to stop him from running off again.

"I hoped that when I told you you would be able to understand and forgive me for what I had done, for who I am," Merlin admitted, "but I also knew you could be angry, especially now when you are feeling so scared. I know you probably never want to see me again and I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I'm begging you not to turn me in to Uther and to at least let me stay with you, for now. See it as a repayment for all the times I deceived you. Now I will be honest with you about who I am. My name is Merlin and I am a sorcerer. You can hate me for that for the rest of our lives if you want, even though it was never a secret I wanted to keep from you or something I will ever be able to find a cure for. But I will help you find answers to what's happening to you. When this journey is over and you still hate me I will leave. Camelot will no longer be my home, you won't ever have to see me again, I promise. But please, at least let me help you this one last time, let me show you I'm not the lying traitor you now think I am. Give me a chance to redeem myself, and if it is not enough I will not ask anything more from you. Please."

The last word was in a whisper, Merlin could feel tears stinging his eyes and he could no longer look at Arthur. He gazed at the horizon, wondering if that is where he will now be heading, out across the fields, alone, because his best friend now hates him and will never be able to forgive him. If Arthur returned to Camelot and told Uther he might never even be able to go back to the Kingdom he now called home. In that moment Merlin felt more alone than he had ever been, and the loneliness could only just be beginning.

Silence fell on the three of them and Merlin could feel its weight upon his shoulders. Every second stretched out painfully as they waited for Arthur's response. Merlin's eyes were now on the ground and he squeezed his hands nervously together as if he was praying for salvation.

"All right."

Merlin looked up at Arthur with surprise. The Prince still looked furious, but there was something in his voice that was other than hatred, was it acceptance?

"You can stay with us and help us try and find a cure. I will think about what you said and what you've hidden from me all this time. I don't know if I will ever be able to forgive you, but I will give you this one chance to redeem yourself, because perhaps I will still need you. But whether you will be able to return to Camelot with us when all this is done I do not know."

Merlin nodded solemnly. Hope rose inside him at first, but now it was quickly stamped on again. He was allowed to stay with them, but Arthur still hated him. He supposed this was the best answer he was going to get, and it would have to do for now. At least Arthur was giving him one more chance.

"Thank you Arthur," Merlin murmured.

"We should go back to the camp," Gwen said softly. "We have many more long days ahead of us." The other two nodded in agreement.

Arthur pulled his hand away from Gwen and marched off in silence in front of them, heading to the woodland again, while she and Merlin trailed behind a little.

"Thank you for helping," Merlin said quietly. "I don't know what would have happened if you didn't find us."

Gwen reached out and took Merlin's hand, giving it a little squeeze. "That's all right."

"So...you're not angry with me?"

Gwen sighed, "I am, but I also understand why you didn't tell me, and I forgive you Merlin. It makes no difference to me if you have magic, you are still my friend."

Merlin managed to give a small smile at these words as they entered the trees again. "Thank you, you don't know how much that means to me."

Gwen gave a small smile of her own and squeezed his hand back. They finished their short walk in silence. Soon they returned to their small campsite with their supplies just where they left them and the ashes from last night's fire still smoking slightly, when Merlin realised that something didn't feel quite right.

"Where's Morgana?" He asked.

So the cliff hanger has been resolved but not everything is going perfectly! Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed the chapter, reviews are much appreciated :)