''That thing in your chest is based on unfinished technology,''
Tony looked over to Fury as they sat at the back of the destroyed mansion, the view of the water and shattered glass all around them. SHIELD wasn't going to let Tony just ignore the problems at hand or consider giving up. However sitting down and having a deep conversation with Fury wasn't exactly what Tony had in mind for the day.
''No, it's finished - it's just never been particularly effective until I miniaturized it and put it in my-''
''No,'' Fury shook his head. ''Howard said the arc reactor was a stepping stone to something greater. He was about to kick off an energy race that was going to dwarf the arms race. He was on to something big, something so big it was going to make the arc reactor look like a triple-A battery,''
''Just him, or was Anton Vanko in on this?'' Tony asked.
''Anton Vanko was the other side of that coin. Anton saw it as a way to get rich, and when your father found out he had him deported. When the Russians found out he couldn't deliver they shipped his ass of to Siberia. He spent the next twenty years in a vodka-fueled rage, not quite the environment you'd want to raise a kid in - the son you had the misfortune of crossing paths with in Monaco,''
Tony understood now why Vanko was talking about his father and knew about the arc reactor problems. These things were so far in the past that Tony didn't think there was anything left to know about it all, but it appeared that something that had happened so long ago was having a serious effect on the present. Specifically, the fact that the arc reactor was failing.
''You told me I hadn't tried everything,'' Tony reminded. ''What did you mean by that?''
''He said that you were the only person with the means and the knowledge to finish what he started,'' Fury began, sipping on his drink.
''He said that?'' Tony wondered, thinking back to his father.
Fury nodded.
''Are you that person? 'cause if you are, you can solve the riddle of your heart,''
Tony couldn't believe that his father would say that about him. They didn't have the best relationship. Tony vowed to never be like his father when it came to his son, he would never ignore him or treat him so badly that he felt unloved. But right now he hadn't gotten off to the best start.
''I don't know where you're getting your information but he wasn't exactly my biggest fan,'' Tony told him.
''What do you remember about your father?''
''He was cold, calculating, never told me he loved me, never even told me he liked me, so it's a bit hard for me to digest that he said the whole future is riding on me thing, I don't get that! You're talking about a man whose happiest day of his life was shipping me off to boarding school,''
''That's not true,'' Fury shook his head.
''Well, then, you must have known my father better than I did,''
''As a matter of fact, I did. He was one of the founding members of S.H.I.E.L.D,''
Tony stared at the man, his eyes wide with surprise.
''Wait, what?''
Logan stared at the overnight bag that sat on the bed in Drew's guest bedroom. One pair of clothes wasn't enough to live off for however long she planned to stay here, but she couldn't bring herself to go back to her home which was now blown to pieces on one side. All day she had avoided calls from people at the office who obviously wanted to know what happened last night and kept herself away from the television which insisted on running stories of the party.
Pepper had called to make sure she was okay and Rhodey had sent her a message apologizing for what happened between him and Tony along with another message that said he had to do what was right. Logan didn't know what he meant exactly, but she trusted him. The only person Logan hadn't heard from was Tony himself, but that was about to change.
When Fury had left earlier in the day, Tony spent some time going through the contents of the box he left of his father's, but he just couldn't focus. Fixing his palladium problem was a big deal, it had to be his first priority right now if he wanted to keep living, but he couldn't stop thinking of Logan. He hadn't heard from her all day, not that he had expected to, but he needed to see her.
On impulse, he had grabbed the keys to his car and sped off without thinking of SHIELD's orders for him to study the arc reactor. Right now he needed to see his wife, he needed to try and mend whatever he could right now.
Logan was sitting in the living room when she heard voices at the door, but it wasn't until she walked over to the doorway of the kitchen that she could hear what was going on.
''Tony, she just needs some time,'' Drew argued. ''She's had barely any sleep and people have been hassling her all day-''
''She's my wife,'' Tony cut him off. ''I need to see her,''
''I don't think she wants that right now,'' Drew shook his head, remembering that Logan had told him she needed time before dealing with everything.
''I just need to talk to her,''
Even standing far away, Logan could hear the pain in Tony's voice.
''Man, she doesn't need the stress,'' Drew tried to reason. ''I know she's your wife but she's also my friend and I'll protect her,''
''I'm not going to hurt her,'' Tony told him angrily.
''You already have,''
Tony stared at the man in the doorway, frustration in his expression. He was glad that Logan had a friend like him to take care of her, but right now he wasn't taking no for an answer.
''I'm not leaving,''
''Well you're welcome to stand outside all you want,''
Drew was surprised at how forceful he was being toward the man that usually intimidated him. With no response from Tony, Drew began to push the door shut but was interrupted by Tony's foot jamming it back open.
''I just want to see her,'' Tony told him firmly.
''I told you-''
''I'm not leaving!''
Logan had enough. Tony was a stubborn man and there was no way she was letting a fight happen again. Taking a deep breath and running her hands through her hair, Logan walked over to the two men.
''It's okay Drew,'' she looked at her friend with a light smile.
Tony immediately stopped paying attention to the man when his wife came into view. She looked so tired as if she hadn't slept a wink the night before and Tony's guilt only doubled at the thought of putting his wife through so much worry.
''You sure?'' Drew asked, his gaze going between the man at the door and his friend.
''Yeah,'' Logan nodded. ''Thanks though,''
Drew kept his eye on the situation as he walked away, hoping he wouldn't have to stop an argument or step in when Logan got too upset. He had saw the effect that all of this was having on his friend.
Logan looked at Tony as she folded her arms above her stomach, leaving him to be the one to speak first. He looked like a mess too after his wild night. His hair was all over the place, he had bruises on his cheeks and he looked like he had fallen asleep on a pile of rocks.
''Hey,'' Tony's voice came out calmly.
''Please say something better than hey,'' Logan shook her head. ''I think we're past small talk right now,''
''I know,'' Tony hung his head low. ''I just needed to know that you were okay,''
Logan narrowed her eyes at him.
''So you didn't come here to explain everything to me?''
''I...don't know where to begin,''
''Well how about you just tell me everything, like we promised we would,''
Tony desperately wanted to fill her in on everything that had been happening over the past few months, but he honestly didn't know where to start of how to explain everything properly. SHIELD had assured him that he hadn't tried everything to save himself and whatever the answer to his problem was, it was inside the box that belonged to his father, Tony just couldn't find it yet.
Telling Logan about his condition didn't feel right yet, after all this time. There was a small piece of hope, a chance that he could fix this, and he couldn't hurt her anymore than this already without trying to save himself once again.
''I'm sorry,'' he sighed. ''I've screwed up a lot of things in my life, but watching you walk out last night, I know I screwed up big time, I know that. I'm sorry, that's all I can say. I'm really, really, really sorry,''
Logan stared at him, knowing that he was meaning his words, but it still didn't make sense. There was something he was hiding from her that had caused him to act like an idiot the night before and now he was feeling completely guilty about it, but she still didn't know what it was.
''You have to tell me what's going on,'' Logan told him with a pleading voice. ''Something's wrong, I know it is and you're scaring me because you won't tell me. Whatever it is Tony, we promised we'd be with each other through everything,''
''I know,'' Tony nodded. ''But I need more time,''
''More time? For what Tony?'' Logan sighed in frustration. ''I don't know why you acted like you did last night, I don't know why you blew up half the house, I don't know why you let me walk out last night as if I was nothing to you. Whatever you're not telling me, you've been hiding it from me for a long time and that hurts. If there's something going on that's so bad it had you acting like a complete jackass and after everything you did, after how sorry you feel, you still can't tell me well then...maybe we need to be having a different conversation,''
Tony's eyes widened, shaking his head immediately.
''No, no, Logan,'' he reached out to her, his arms on her waist. ''Don't do that, please. I want to tell you everything, I want you to know why I'm being like this and why I was such an ass, but I can't right now,''
Logan looked up at him with sad eyes.
''But why? I'm supposed to be your best friend,''
''You are, that's why it's so hard,'' his thumb stroked her cheek gently.
''It shouldn't be hard. I tell you everything, the good and the bad,'' she shook her head. ''You're supposed to do the same,''
''I can't,'' Tony's voice cracked with pain.
Logan sniffled, trying not to become too upset.
''If you can't trust me, what is there between us?'' she asked sadly. ''What sort of family is that?''
Tony pulled her closer, his hands cradling her stomach.
''I do trust you,''
''Then tell me what's going on,''
It was breaking Tony's heart every time she pleaded with him, but he couldn't hurt her so badly. He didn't know what the information would do to her especially when he couldn't guarantee a solution. He needed to go find his cure, he needed to keep working until he found a way to keep living.
Tony pressed his lips to her forehead lovingly, holding her close. Logan couldn't help the tears falling from her eyes now, but she didn't know if she was more angry or upset with him.
''I love you,''
When Logan looked up, Tony was already walking away.
He wasn't going to come back until he had what he needed, until he could tell her everything she deserved.