Chapter Ten

Awake

"I can't do it Merlin!"

"Yes, you can," Merlin said calmly but firmly. "If you couldn't I wouldn't have asked you."

"You shouldn't have. It's out of my control, there's no way I can stop it and it's only going to get worse!"

Merlin sighed as he watched Arthur pace up and down in a panic. For the last hour they had been trying to find ways for the Prince to control his curse and the magic within it, but so far to no avail. There had been no more cases of Arthur burning trees and his headache had gone since the day before, but whenever he started to lose his temper everyone could feel heat radiating off him and he was terrified about when the magic might strike again. What if he was holding Gwen's hand when suddenly he started burning? What if he passed something to someone and burnt them? What if he suddenly set fire to their supplies? Merlin had tried to comfort him by suggesting that there were ways of controlling magic, but so far they hadn't helped.

It was now late morning, several hours ago Morgana had returned to her sleeping companions, none of them aware of her conversation with Morgause or of their plotting, though Merlin thought the King's ward did look tired this morning. As soon as they had got up Arthur wanted to continue their journey but Merlin pointed out leaving behind the burnt tree didn't mean his curse had been left behind as well. In the end Arthur accepted that Merlin was telling the truth and allowed the young Warlock and the Druid girl help him. They stood on top of a sloping hill, surrounded by blue sky and patches of cloud, while Gwen and Morgana watched from a distance. Despite several days passing since Freya had joined them, Morgana's mood had not improved since she had met Merlin's friend.

"Since when did Merlin know all about curses and magic anyway?" She demanded as they watched Arthur continue to pace and Merlin try to console him, while Freya stood and watched silently. Gwen and Morgana were too far away to hear what was being said, but they could tell Arthur was growing increasingly distressed.

Gwen bit her bottom lip and didn't say anything for a moment. She knew that this could be the moment to tell Morgana quietly and calmly all about Merlin's magic. After all, didn't she have a right to know? And even though Merlin had no trust in her, Gwen had known Morgana a lot longer than he did and they had always been good friends, she could trust Morgana.

However Gwen also trusted Merlin and there was a nagging feeling inside her that made her hesitate. She had never told anyone this, but she could tell a change had come over Morgana since she had been found again after her kidnapping. She told herself anyone who had gone through what her mistress had been through would change, but sometimes she missed the old Morgana. And the changes were becoming all the more clear since they had left Camelot. She spoke little and she did she and Merlin often ended up arguing and Gwen had a strange feeling that Morgana was hiding something from her. Merlin may have his own secrets, but it seemed so did Morgana. And even though Morgana was her mistress, did she have a right to tell her all about Merlin's secret?

In the end, Gwen shrugged, "Well, Gaius seems to know a lot about magic, perhaps he learnt from him. He seems to be friendly with Druids too and Freya could have told him about curses. "

Morgana didn't look impressed by this answer, but instead she said, "And what do you think of our new companion? She knows a lot about magic and curses too."

Again Gwen shrugged, "She seems nice."

Morgana was trying to hide her increasing frustration that Gwen was not taking her side in these matters. "But...don't you think it's a little suspicious that she was following us and knew where we were going?"

"It is strange," Gwen admitted, "but I have a feeling we may be grateful for her being here with us, we would have made a mistake if we drove her away." Just as she said this she saw Freya approaching Arthur, trying to comfort him, and she fell silent, trying to hear what was being said.

"Arthur, you need to calm down," Freya said sternly, but there was kindness in her eyes. "I learnt quickly that anger and panic will only make the curse take a greater hold on your life, not the other way round, and you don't want that."

"Of course not!" He snapped.

"Then you need to relax. Take a deep breath. Convince yourself that you are in control."

Arthur stopped pacing and took a deep breath, holding it in for a few seconds before puffing it out again. The two of them could feel the heat coming off him even now. "It's not working," he said, "I feel exactly the same."

"Then try again," Freya replied calmly. "I spent a long time living in fear of my curse and feeling out of control and it only made things worse for me. There was nothing I could do to stop my curse from taking over me, but you have a chance."

"Don't fight against it but don't let it control you either. You can do whatever you want even if you are cursed or have magic. You are Arthur Pendragon, the future King of Camelot and it's going to take a lot more than that to bring you to your knees," Merlin said, as if he prepping Arthur for war.

"Take a deep breath and relax, remember that you are in control." Freya repeated.

This time Arthur closed his eyes and took a long, deep breath, in through his nose and out through his mouth, then again, and again. Freya and Merlin waited apprehensively for his response. They could see the Prince's body relaxing and slowly the heat coming off him subsided. After a couple of minutes Arthur opened his eyes.

"How do you feel?" Merlin asked tentatively.

"In control," Arthur glanced at Merlin and Freya, a small smile on his face. "Thank you. I feel a lot better now."

Freya smiled back, "No problem. And whenever you feel like you are losing control, do the same thing and remind yourself that you are in control."

"Do you think I might be able to use my magic at some point?" Arthur asked.

Merlin was so shocked by this question he laughed, "Would you actually want to use your magic?"

Arthur shrugged, "I just think if I have it, I might as well make good use of it until it goes away. I've had a lot of time recently to think about such things."

"Magic isn't as bad as you thought it was then?" Merlin said.

There was a pause, and Merlin thought this was the first time Arthur had looked directly into his eyes since he had revealed his magic. It was hard to read the Prince's expression, but someone might have said that he was trying not to smile. "I suppose it isn't," he admitted.

Merlin couldn't help but grin, he feared that he would never hear Arthur say these words, but it seemed the Prince was much more capable of forgiveness than he would allow himself to believe.

"Perhaps we should wait until you're fully in control, and then Merlin can give you some magic lessons," Freya put in, smiling too, but it seemed a little forced. She turned to Merlin, "can I talk to you about something?"

"Of course," Merlin replied, and the two walked a little way from Arthur, who turned his attention back to his deep breathing to allow them to talk. "What's the matter?" Merlin asked when they were a suitable distance away.

"It's Arthur," Freya murmured, her smile lost.

Merlin frowned, in his opinion the Prince was much better both in health and in mood than he had been for a long time, he couldn't understand why Freya was suddenly looking almost afraid, "What about him?"

"I'm worried about his curse," Freya admitted.

Merlin shrugged, "It is concerning, but he's a lot better now he can control it and with practice I think he'll be all right."

But Freya shook her head. "He can control it for now, but I fear that won't be for very long. The curse within him is worsening, it's because of the curse developing inside him that he burnt that tree and it will only get worse unless we find him some help."

The feeling of hope and relief that had been swelling up in Merlin's chest like a balloon was now deflating quickly. "What do you think will happen if we don't find him some help or a cure?" He asked quietly.

"It will consume him."

Merlin not only felt deflated now, but completely crushed. He felt like someone had just stamped on his chest, bruising his heart and squashing his lungs and he felt scared. In fact he hadn't felt such fear since he had first seen Arthur use magic. Something in the back of his head might have been trying to tell him that there was more to this curse than Arthur simply having magic, but he had silenced that concern. However now Freya had voiced it there was no chance of avoiding it.

"Then we'll have to find Arthur a cure, and soon," he muttered, more to himself than the Freya.

"I'm sorry Merlin, I knew you wouldn't like it." Freya whispered and suddenly there were tears in her eyes. Merlin hadn't realised how close Freya and Arthur were, or maybe she was just upset about giving Merlin bad news. Before he could say anything else or offer her comfort she turned round and walked away, her face full of misery.

"Lover's quarrel?" Said a voice behind Merlin, he turned to see Arthur approaching.

"What? No," Merlin quickly became very flustered at these words, "we weren't arguing, and we weren't...we're not..."

"Relax Merlin," Arthur said, patting his manservant on the shoulder and grinning for the first time in days. "There's no need to hide it from me, I think you make a lovely couple."

"I...we..." Merlin was becoming even more flustered at this. It was true he cared for Freya deeply, maybe more than anyone else, but he hadn't really thought about it properly yet or talked about it with Freya, so he certainly wasn't ready to discuss with Arthur, he had no idea what to say.

Fortunately the Prince walked away, not expecting to have further conversation, he simply seemed amused by Merlin's reaction. However the sight of seeing the Prince smile and finally start to accept magic somehow made Freya's words all the more painful. He just hoped that she was mistaken, but her voice continued to whisper in his ear.

It will consume him.

The rest of the day passed in a dull haze in Merlin's eyes. Gwen was thrilled to see Arthur in such a good mood and was grateful for Merlin and Freya's help, but it did not help Merlin's feeling of dread and Freya still looked upset about something. They didn't do any travelling that day but decided to rest instead, however Merlin found himself strangely blocked out from all conversation for the rest of the day, as if he was far, far away. All he could think about was Freya's warning about Arthur and silently pray that she was wrong and that help was nearby.

Merlin was so worried about Arthur for that day he completely forgot about anything else that had been causing him concern. Until that evening.

For a change it was not talking to Freya but worry for Arthur that kept Merlin awake that night. While everyone else went to sleep he lay there, tossing and turning, thinking about what Freya had said to him, and what the Prince had told him a few hours later in the afternoon.

"Did Gaius ever teach you anything about curing headaches, Merlin? Mine's come back again," he said, and once again his skin felt almost hot to the touch.

When Merlin finally did fall asleep he dreamed that he had Arthur's curse, or something similar. He could feel a burning sensation building up inside him and everything that he touched burnt his fingers, yet they were not hot. There was a fire burning wherever he looked that hurt his eyes and within it stood a female figure, but he had no idea who it was.

"It will consume him." The figure said in a loud, harsh voice. At these words Merlin jerked awake, panting, sweating and panicking.

But there was no fire. The one they had made that night was already smouldering ashes and everyone around him was peacefully sleeping. That is, apart from one person.

Morgana's blankets were empty.

At first Merlin didn't noticed, he could just tell something was wrong, but when he realised that the person who had been sleeping beside him was no longer there he reached over and touched Morgana's blankets, expecting her to somehow suddenly appear from underneath them, demanding what he was doing.

But she didn't and the blankets felt cold. Morgana had not used them in a while.

Merlin was frozen for a moment, trying to work out what this meant and where Morgana could have gone. He had a different kind of fear inside him now. He was about to get up and look for her, when he heard footsteps and looked up to see Morgana standing over him.

"Where have you been?" He hissed.

"Can't a woman answer the call of nature and not be interrogated by it?" Morgana snapped back as she got back under her blankets.

Merlin said nothing. He knew Morgana was lying though, he could almost still feel her blankets beneath his fingers, they were definitely cold. Morgana had been away for a long time.

"I think I'll have to do the same," he muttered suddenly, standing up and walking away from their little campsite, but rather than relieving himself he searched through the darkness, trying to find anything suspicious that Morgana might have been doing while they slept. But there was nothing to be seen, for Morgause had already disappeared. Her and Morgana's final plans for Arthur and Camelot had been made.

When Merlin returned to bed it took him even longer to get to sleep this time, and far away in Camelot someone else was also wide awake with worry.

The air was so tense and silence it seemed to have frozen. Gaius waited silently in his chamber, sitting at his workbench, hands clutched tightly together as if praying for salvation. He had no idea what the time was, but darkness had descended on the Kingdom a long time ago.

A knock on the door made the old physician jump, even though he had been expecting it. He quickly pulled himself up from his chair and hurried to the door. Opening it he stood back to let Sir Leon enter who was half carrying, half dragging a soldier with him. Sweat plastered Leon's blond curls to his forehead and he was panting heavily. Gaius hurried forward to help him with the soldier, whose name he did not know.

"Thank you again for this Gaius," Sir Leon panted as he helped lay the soldier onto a makeshift bed.

"It is nothing, it is my duty to help in any way I can," Gaius replied, although both knew the great risk he was taking in helping when Leon had first knocked on his door to explain that someone urgently needed a physician. "Tell me again what happened."

"We were on the way back to Camelot to inform the King of our progress when we were attacked. There were four of us, we are the only survivors." Leon explained, though Gaius thought the young Knight might be the only survivor come the next morning. The soldier he had brought had a wound on the top of his head, which was a tangle of brown hair and dried blood, and his right leg was bleeding profusely. He was breathing but unconscious. Gaius did not know if he would ever wake up again. "Can you help him?" Sir Leon asked desperately.

"I'll see what I can do," Gaius replied. "We'll have to move him into Merlin's chamber, no one will look for any injured soldiers there." Everyone knew that that room was empty, but no one knew when the occupant would return, if ever. The thought gave Gaius more distress than a bleeding soldier. He faced injuries almost every day, but a missing loved one was something he did not want to experience.

"How is the King?" Leon asked.

"Not well," Gaius said gravely, his voice saying much more than his words. "Any sign of Arthur?" He asked.

"We have found tracks leading towards Odin's border, I think he was definitely heading that way. We were going to inform the King of what we found and get permission to cross into an enemy's border." Leon explained, "but I fear I will have to go back regardless of what he might think and I will have to go alone."

Gaius nodded, "And no one must know you were here or where you are going," he added.

Sir Leon nodded, "I know, I'll leave as soon as I can, I'll take a horse, that will help me reach the border quicker."

"Whatever happens here, we must find Arthur," Gaius said.

Leon nodded again. He didn't want to voice his fear to Gaius though, the fear that the Arthur he may find in Odin's land might be a lot different to the Arthur he knew before he had disappeared. However his biggest fear was that he would never find Arthur at all. Searching for him in the north had wasted precious time and the knowledge that Morgana had also disappeared made the situation much worse. The King was desperate to find them both and his mind seemed to be decaying the longer the Prince was away. Now they had finally discovered that Arthur had been heading south towards Odin's land the situation in Camelot was dire. It may be too late to find the Prince, but Leon had to try, even if he was going alone.

"I wish I could offer you rest, but you must leave soon before anyone realises you are here. I have some food and other supplies you can take on your journey," said Gaius.

"I understand, and thank you."

"But first, help me move him into Merlin's chamber." Gaius said, turning his attention back to the injured soldier. All three men had a long night ahead of them.

I've been wanting to have a little insight into Camelot for a while but have struggled to fit one into a chapter, at last I have! I hope you liked it and enjoyed the chapter as a whole, please review :)