Chapter 40 Why?
Alexander Bordon was relieved that his meeting with General O'Hara was short, less than thirty minutes. He was anxious to see Miss Prescott. His heart felt light as he moved toward the stairway. Once there, he took the steps two at a time, bounding up the stairs, soon finding himself in the third floor hallway.
In just a few steps, he was outside of Melanie's room. He listened for a moment but heard nothing, thinking she was probably sleeping. The officer knocked rapped on the door quietly but did not receive an answer.
"Melanie?" the major called through the door as he knocked a second time.
"It's Alex," he announced. "I'm coming in."
Once inside, he saw his lover laid out crazily upon the bed. The man assumed she had been out of bed moving about the room and had stretched out exhausted across it afterwards.
"Melanie?" spoke Alexander quietly as he neared the bed.
Just then, he heard a tinkling sound as the toe of his boot moved a small bottle across the floor. The officer reached down to stop the bottle from skittering any further away from him. As he bent to pick up the bottle, he noticed a similar vessel peeking out from under her bed, and grabbed that one as well.
"Laudanum," he whispered, reading the label of first one vial, then the next as he straightened up. Bordon absently wondered why the bottles hadn't been collected, knowing she had been given some of the opiate to help with her miscarriage pain.
At that moment, he looked at Miss Prescott, who hadn't stirred from the bed since he had entered. Then, he noticed a third bottle, the same as the two from the floor, clutched in her fist. The officer immediately became alarmed.
"Melanie?!" he said loudly, hoping the surprise in his voice might just awaken her. Suddenly it dawned on him that she had consumed the contents of the bottles, and he panicked.
Alex dropped down onto the bed with her now, shaking her hard as he shouted. "Melanie! Oh God! Melanie, NO!"
He turned her over from her stomach onto her back as he desperately tried to rouse her. To his terror, he noticed the pallor of her skin, the rosy peach seeming to have all drained away. Drool was trailing out of one corner of her mouth, which the major quickly wiped away.
"Melanie! WHY?! Melanie!"
Major Bordon put his ear to her chest, listening intently for a heartbeat. He heard it, but it was faint and slow. Leaving her for a moment, he grabbed a mirror from atop her bureau and put it under her nostrils. It took a few seconds for it to fog up, causing the officer to become frantic now as he noticed how long it was between her breaths, and how shallow they were.
Alex drew her limp body into his arms, shaking her while calling her name, all to no avail. As he held her against him, he was now unable to fight back his own tears.
"Melanie! Why? Oh, God no! Please!"
Miss Kilpatrick, who had been moving up the stairwell to the third floor to make her rounds, heard the distraught cries coming from Miss Prescott's chambers and quickened her pace. Wondering what had happened, she stumbled into the room nearly tripping over her own feet. The Irish servant's eyes widened at the sight before her.
Still rocking the girl in a frenzied manner, the officer held out his hand to the housemaid, displaying the three empty vials to her. The young woman instinctively took the bottles from his hand, her mouth dropping open as she realized what she had been handed.
"I can't wake her," stated Bordon incredulously. "She must have drunk all of it."
"Oh no," shrieked Bridget, shaking her head in disbelief. "I'll get a doctor!"
With that, she ran from the room, leaving a frenetic Alexander alone in his sorrow.
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In just the few moments it took for the doctor and apothecary to arrive, a small crowd of officers had gathered just inside the door of the room. The group had seen Miss Kilpatrick running for a doctor and heard her frenzied cries while doing so. Now, Tavington, Captain Wilkins, Tarleton and General O'Hara looked on with wide eyes as their fellow officer still tried to rouse Miss Prescott.
The physician and his assistant pushed their way through the small crowd and rushed to the unconscious girl's bedside with Bridget close behind to help. Wilkins and Tavington pulled their fellow officer off of the young woman's bed to allow the medics room to help, going to work instantly on the girl.
Bordon stood with the group of officers shaking his head and blinking back tears. They all watched the doctor, with Bridget's aid, beginning to work on Miss Prescott. Their eyes followed the assistant, as well, when he rose from the bedside and walked to the table where he had placed his medical bag.
From the table, the apothecary looked up at the small group of officers and motioned to them to leave. They complied, taking a stunned and emotional Alexander with them.
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Late that evening, the surgeon finally emerged from Melanie's room to find Major Bordon seated in a chair in the alcove at the end of the hallway. The weary officer was slumped forward in the chair, elbows on his knees and head buried in his hands.
"Major," the doctor began as he tapped Alex on the shoulder, "you can see her now."
The officer raised his head, his eyes meeting the doctor's, with a forlorn look on his face. "Yes," he responded blankly.
"Look, major," the surgeon said in a frank voice, "we've done all we can do for her. She was already greatly weakened from her miscarriage."
Alex said nothing, continuing to stare intently at the doctor.
The medical officer went on. "I don't think she will live through the night. You should probably say your 'good-byes'."
Bordon rose stiffly, still mute. He did not acknowledge the doctor, looking down at the floor. Then he looked up and down the hall toward Melanie's door, despondence clouding his face. The officer let out a heavy sigh, then began to walk numbly toward her room.
Once at the door of her chamber, he saw his lover lying still in bed, Miss Kilpatrick attending her at the bedside. Alexander shuddered lightly, then drew in a big breath, and as stoic as he could, walked to the bed, hiding his tears and pain.
Major Bordon reached down and pulled her limp body into his arms. He lifted her from the bed and carried her across the room.
The doctor immediately protested the officer's actions. "Major, if she is to have any hope at all, she must rest. Please leave her in bed."
Alex sat down in the winged back chair by the fireplace, and pulled the coverlet around Melanie, bundling her. "If she is going to die," declared Bordon in a breaking voice, "then she will die in my arms."
The major looked down at his lover and paused. He looked back up at the doctor and Miss Kilpatrick and spoke slowly. "I would want the same from her," he stated, "to die in her arms."
At that point, Bridget shook her head and began to cry, in shock that her best friend of the last two years, someone that she'd nursed through physical and emotional wounds, was dying. All the doctor could do was sigh at the unfortunate situation.
Bordon finally lost patience. "Get out and leave me alone with her," he snapped. The man wanted to say farewell to her in private.
The Irish servant and the surgeon fled the room, closing the door behind them.
When he was alone, Alexander took a deep breath, then began to pour his heart out to the young woman. "Melanie, I don't understand all this. I don't know why you wanted to harm yourself."
He paused, then continued. "I'm sorry for all the misfortune you've had these last two years. I love you so much; more than you'll ever know. I hope I brought you some kind of comfort and reprieve from your troubles."
The officer looked thoughtfully at the girl, sighed, then went on. "I wish fate had been different for us. I wish we'd have met years ago, before all this, before we had others in our lives. I'm sure we would have married and had a family. We would have been happy for a lifetime!"
Alex steadied himself, then spoke again. "I'm sorry for the pain I caused you; I wish I could take all that back. Melanie……I just…….I don't want to let you go! I love you!" With that, he pulled her against him, hid his face in her blanketed shoulder and cried.
Moments later, when he was spent and could sob no more, he sat numbly, thinking of nothing, clutching Miss Presccott's still body and staring into the flames. Every once in awhile he'd feel her take a deep breath and hold it, each time making him think that it was her last.
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After hours of this, the fire died down and the dawn's first rays peeked through the window. The man still numbly clutched his lover to himself, taking no notice of Miss Kilpatrick when she entered the room to stoke the fire. The officer stared blankly out the window.
When Bridget turned back from the fireplace toward the despondent officer, she noticed that Melanie's eyes were open wide and were glassy, and that she was blinking.
The Irish servant roused the tired major. "Sir," she shook his lightly and whispered, "she's awakened."
Alexander's eyes rounded as he looked down the young woman. He said her name in a soft, gentle voice. "Melanie? Melanie?"
He watched as her eyes moved slowly to meet his. "Alex," she mouthed silently. Then her eyes focused on him in recognition. "Alex," she whispered weakly.
"Yes, darling," he answered quietly as he smiled down at her.
"I'll get the doctor," Bridget said, then bolted from the room.
Bordon nodded as the servant rushed away. He arose from the chair and carried his lover back to her bed. Once there, he place her gently in it and sat down at her bedside, awaiting the surgeon's return.
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The doctor was amazed that the girl, in an already weakened state, had pulled through her near fatal overdose. Thinking of all she'd been through and near death three times, he deemed her a walking miracle.
It was hours before Miss Prescott became lucid enough to talk with anyone at length. And Major Bordon, of course, was the first to see her.
"Why?" he asked, needing to know; needing to hear her answer. "Why did you do it?"
She didn't answer him; she didn't want to. The girl looked away.
Alexander put his hand gently on her chin and turned her head back to look at him. "Why did you want to hurt yourself?", he bade with concern.
Suddenly, the poor girl burst into tears. Alex took her hand as she heaved great sobs, but she quickly pulled it away from him.
"Because, I've been through so much!", she blurted through her tears. "I didn't want to go through anymore! I've lost everything: my family, my home, my baby, the ability to have children. What man would want a woman that can't produce his heir?"
"Oh, Melanie," sighed Bordon in disappointment, not concealing his own feelings over this incident.
Getting her crying barely under control, the young woman continued. "I've lost my reputation, my dignity, and you!"
"You haven't lost me," he coaxed. "I'm right here."
"I saw you with your wife," she exclaimed. "You reconciled."
"No," he informed. "She wanted to. I refused and sent her home."
Bordon again reached for her hand, but the girl pulled it away again.
"That doesn't matter," she stated. "You're still gone."
"No, I'm not! I love you! I'm right here!"
"No," Melanie argued adamantly, "I never had you to begin with and will never have you."
She sniffled, desperately trying to control her tears. "You'll always be some else's husband. I'll never be anymore to you than a mistress."
Miss Prescott paused, then began to weep again. "I'll always only be 'Brutal Bordon's Whore'!"
Alexander knew she was right. He closed his eyes tightly, squeezing back his own tears. The officer's heart broke, knowing that there was nothing he could do to rectify the situation; no way to undue his marriage without scandal to himself and family. He was truly sorry for his part in causing her pain.
The officer didn't know what to say. After swallowing hard, he spoke from his heart. "I thought you were gone," he sniffled as he wiped the tears from his own eyes.
"I love you so much," Alex said, his voice breaking.
Melanie reached up and touched his cheek. "I know," she acknowledged simply. Her hand dropped to his and clasped it, finally accepting and wanting his touch. "I know," she whispered in a tired voice.