July, 20th
Frederick:
I came to Milton with Margaret and aunt Anna. My father's papers were in order and I have no troubles finding all the documents worth keeping. Most of my parents' furniture is not of great value, except for my father's desk and a couple of chairs I'll have sent to Spain. My sister wants to keep her little desk and only a few other items.
I go through my father's clothes and select two ties, a scarf, a pair of gloves and a hat; the rest is in good condition but I wouldn't wear anything of it. Either not my style or not my size. Margaret keeps the necktie my father wore to his wedding and a scarf, which she puts in a box with a piece my mother's wedding dress and a pair of white gloves. The rest is going to charity or offered to someone Margaret knows, a friend's father I think.
We split the jewelry; I keep my father's gold watch and my mother's gold bracelet and necklace. My sister keeps the wedding rings, my mother's dressing watch and the pearls. I give Margaret the box, which is very pretty, and ask for a glass jewelry box I know Dolores likes. My sister agrees.
We work in silence. There are a few boxes containing my mother's papers - Margaret has organized them, there are some photo albums and little mementos, the footprints of almost five decades of married life. My sister wants to take them with her to London and I don't see why not.
We're still undecided on what to do with this house, except that we'll empty it and send the furniture and most stuff to auction. Dixie has offered to supervise that and we've accepted.
Margaret:
I'm not used to people making decisions for me, but really, what could I say now? My brother wants me to leave Milton and it's quite reasonable. What would I stay here for? I don't have a job, I don't feel fit to start classes next month. I have Bessy, that's right, but she has a lot on her plate and I don't want to impose.
Mr. Thornton... John... things could have been so different, would be so different now if I had apologized instead of just seeing myself debased in his eyes. He was my father's friend, and with my father gone and me leaving for good it would be just for my personal gratification, but otherwise pointless, to say that I'm sorry.
If I hadn't allowed myself to be straitjacketed and blinded by my private school girl notions, stupid, useless notions unless I had been looking for someone like Ian or Henry, I would have opened my eyes and seen him earlier. His qualities weren't hidden but obvious to everyone, my parents included. But no. I had to say no and push him away.
Virtue is its own reward. Pretty much the same could be said for vice.
July, 25th
Edith:
Margaret came to live with my mother. I'm sure she'll be so happy when my little boy is born, and I'm not saying this aloud, but finally out of that dreary Milton place.
We're having my old room redecorated just for her. She's not truly attached to material belongings but I'm sure she'll love all the knick knacks I got for her. It's like the old times, when we were so close. I suppose she'll have a hard time at first and she'll need some time, but then will get over it - she's really strong, stronger than me for sure!
Notes: I'm being very disgusting towards former students of private boarding schools. Some might be snobbish people but I'm sure many are perfectly reasonable people. The lengths one must go to adapt the past to the present!