Soooooo sorry this took so long! Please forgive me…
Hope this chappie makes up for my serious delay (and leaving you with a cliffhanger…oy!). I've had a whirlwind of things happen to me over the break. Went on a trip, got engaged :) and sold many items on my Etsy shop…which means that I have had to paint more than I can write…
Hang with me, only a couple chapters left. Hope you're all still out there. Let me know what you think! Your reviews continue to brighten my day!
Happy New Year!
Something stirred within her.
The lulling rhythm of a beating heart began to churn deep within her body, jogging her limbs into flutters of vibrations as she felt her blood circulating through her veins.
'Beep….beep….beep…' It was only then did she become aware of an unwelcome intrusion. An all too familiar sound that she would know anywhere, without question…
But instead of it being a distant back drop as she went about her daily life…this time was different.
It was her own heart that was being broadcast about the room now.
She shifted her head towards the sound before cracking open her pale eyes. Her neck felt stiff, like she hadn't used it for some time, and the tingles in her body began to transform into small sensations of ache.
Her mind remained foggy. Still stuck beyond the current reality; fighting to remember the events that led her to the uncomfortable bed she was resting upon.
Cuddy's eyes began to waver; tentatively cracking open to the sight of a heart monitor beeping too loud for her comfort, and a tall silver I.V. stand loaming over her like a statue. Two bags of medicine were flowing down the thin clear tube into the crook of her left arm.
She blinked rapidly; trying to shake the dryness in her orbs so she could make out what the labels on the bags said. One fluids and the other…
Sedative, she gathered by the way her head felt almost detached from her body. She swallowed roughly, the simple act proved to be more difficult than she had anticipated. Her eyes glanced towards the ceiling, the splotchy white tiles made her dizzy and she instantly was forced to look away…
"Cuddy." Wilson called to her, his soft footsteps fell in synch with the beeping of her monitor.
Her head shifted towards the sound of his voice, only exacerbating the dizziness as the room spun around her. She half-mumbled half spoke his name in response. A cup of water was thrust in front of her to take and she willingly choked down the cold liquid.
"Better?" He spoke carefully. She could feel the warmth of his hand as it came to rest on her shoulder.
"Yes." She took another sip and handed the glass to him. "What did you give me?…How did I get here?"
"You don't remember?"
Her head moved in a silent gesture of no. Her heart began to quicken, knowing from the look in his eyes that she urgently needed to recall her memories. "What is it…" as soon as the words left her mouth only one petrifying thought came to mind."House!"
She reflexively jolted upright in bed. Wilson moved quickly and secured his hands against her arms to guide her back towards the pillows, "He's going to be okay Cuddy."
"He is? But…the surgery-"
"-Went smoothly. Sit back." His calm tone soothed her just enough to oblige his request.
"Chase got it all. It was even more superficial than we thought, surfacing on the Dura Mater. He didn't have to go any further to completely remove it. "
"Are you monitoring him for signs of brain swelling? "
"Of course…and you already know the kind of recovery ahead of him. He still might have months until he's himself again, but if his scans come back clean in six months…well… then he's going to continue to torture us till we're incredibly old and weary."
Cuddy studied his face…not daring to believe his wonderful tale before she checked thoroughly for signs of falsehood.
His words spoke of everything she had hoped to hear, but never thought she ever would. "Don't hide anything from me, please Wilson…" She pleaded quietly. Tears she didn't even know had formed began to fall down her cheeks.
"Cuddy…I'm not." He reached out his hand and clasped onto hers.
A puff of exhausted air escaped her parched lips, "You're not?"
"No. He's already in the room recovering. He'll be sedated for the next twelve hours or so…it's over now, you can see him soon."
"I want to see him now."
"I knew you would say that."
Cuddy shifted slightly and felt the weight of her bandages beneath her thin hospital gown, the visions before everything went dark around her trickled into her mind, filling in the gaps in her memories.
"It's okay…for me to get up Wilson. I know what's happening to me." She whispered into the room, not able to hold his gaze, instead choosing to look at his hand still holding tightly onto hers. The silence between them was dripping with sadness.
"I'm so sorry."
"Me too."
"We ran some blood tests…figure out why you collapsed-"
"-House just went into a life threatening surgery and I began to miscarry his child…" Her interruption was soft as she brought her eyes back to meet his anxious expression.
She desperately needed to spew forth the truth that plagued her senses, hoping it would serve as a release somehow.
"Yeah…your tests came back okay."
"Did you test my blood for every disease in the medical encyclopedia?"
"Pretty much."
"House would be impressed."
"He'd probably just call me an over reacting idiot."
"That too."
"Cuddy…" He paused, "Your hormones levels came back…they were incredibly high for how far along you-" He stopped himself before he could use the word, were. "This was going to happen whether or not you had this unbelievable stress weighing on you. It-"
"-was never meant to be."
"Maybe it was…but only meant to last this long. I mean look at it this way. House found out he was going to be a father…and he didn't disappear to Switzerland. He…actually faced it…with you."
She nodded slightly, staring at nothing. "I'm going to be okay Wilson." She worried her mouth, trying to convince herself in that moment as much as she was him, while new tears formed in her eyes…
"Eventually…" She let out a long shaky sigh, and willed her focus to change. "But right now…House made it through." She dabbed the wetness from her face. "That's all that matters to me…I can handle everything else."
He mimicked her nod, and they sat in silence together for a few minutes, contemplating it all…
"I called your Mom."
"Wilson." She sighed with a shake of her head.
He held up his hands, "I had to. Rachel needed to be picked up from school and I was kind of busy monitoring the well being of my two best friends, so…"
"I get it. "
"But I didn't tell her what happened to you. "
"Thank you….I'm glad you're here with me. " She said in quiet honesty.
Wilson watched as she continued to wipe the tears falling under her eyes, and he leaned down and placed a kiss on the top of her head.
Cuddy's careful reserve began to crumble at the whim of Wilson's simple gesture. She could feel the weight of the mattress beneath her waver as he came to sit down next to her in the hospital bed. His warm arms enveloped her and she dissolved in his movements, hiding her face away into the palms of her hands, allowing him to comfort her…hold her while she cried heavy tears for her loss, and while she shed tears of joy for the well-being of a man that she couldn't bear to live without.
The enormity of the last few hours of her life poured out of her until she felt her breathing begin to calm, and she gave into the meditations. Closing her eyes, she focused on swallowing down her grief; there would be more time to give into it later.
"How long have I been out?" She finally unfolded from his embrace.
"I had them put you on mild sedatives for the last few hours…but Cuddy, after what I witnessed earlier, you need to rest more. Please don't fight me on this, you can see him first thing in the morning. He's not going anywhere, and he won't even be conscious till then."
She bit her lip once more, this time out of frustration. "You going to baby sit me all night, make sure I don't make a run for it?"
"If I have to…Mrs. House…than I will." He got up from the bed and began to noisily push the small cot to the entrance of the door, unfolding it and sitting down like a sentry poised to protect the only way she could escape from.
"Funny…you've made your point." She pulled the pillows down to adjust under her head. "I won't bolt, you have my word." She feigned closing her eyes, exhaustion weighing on her already.
"Nice try, but I'm not falling for it." He looked over his shoulder to a nurse hovering in the doorway.
"Nurse Jones?" Cuddy eyed her heavily, "I can fire people you know." She looked between the pair of them in apprehension, knowing she didn't have the strength within her to take on two people.
Nurse Jones looked back accusingly towards Wilson, "I told you." She stated.
"She can't fire you for this and she knows it. Just do what we planned."
Cuddy turned just in time to see the nurse dial up the dose of drugs in her veins. Feeling the effects instantly, she was powerless to stop it. She turned back to Wilson with a half-lidded scowl, "I hate you." She murmured…and her eyes closed once more to the world around her.
"House don't go…just stay with me a bit longer." Her expression pleaded unflinchingly, begging for him to give in to her whim…
But something told him he had to leave. A nagging voice echoed around him, or maybe it was just inside his own mind, on that he could not be sure….
But the urge was unmistakable.
"I have to." He unclasped from her strong hold on his hand and backed away from the chair he had just risen from.
"You don't know what you're doing. What if this is the only way to be together now?" The tears pooled down her cheeks, unnaturally so, he pondered…and the chills began to rise within his skin, aching to burst out of him.
She stared deeply into eyes, sitting in a chair with all her attention focused on his every move.
It was only then did House fully acknowledge where they were…
The hospital…an all too familiar setting, but it appeared emptier…
No people milled about the halls. It was just the two of them under the harsh light, seemingly waiting for someone or something to happen on the other side of the door next to them.
He sighed and rubbed his face between his hands, "What do you mean?"
"I just don't want to lose you. I can't bear living without you, please don't leave me. I won't make it alone."
"Why are you talking like this, what happened?" House's head began to throb rapidly, drowning him in unforgiving pain as he took on the weight of her words, the strong meaning behind their implications.
"We're so happy here…we will always have this place together…in your heart." She whispered in reply.
"Cuddy…you're not making sense."
"We're together, right now…right here-"
"-This place isn't real!" His shout echoed against the walls surrounding them. His head felt as if small knives were burrowing inside his skull. He closed his eyes in agony. "Did I…" He choked on his last word, unable to speak, even though he knew there was no other way…he had to finish. "Die?"
She held frighteningly still, and it was the final crippling blow…
"Cuddy, answer me!" He moved quickly, bridging the small gap between them before he took her shoulders roughly in his hands.
"I don't know…I'm so scared." She was trembling beneath his grasp, her breath filtered out in small wisps against his face as he leaned down to search her scared eyes.
"I'm not dead." He spoke with certainty.
He could feel it.
His heart beat was pounding inside his chest, and he felt a heat come over his body, engulfed by something soft. The immense agony in his head only further proved his belief.
There was no way he was dead, he could feel life emanating inside, growing stronger with each passing moment.
"Cuddy look at me." He practically shook her, trying to break through her trance of grief.
"I'm just on the other side. I can feel it." He moved a fallen curl and tucked it behind her ear.
"House…I'm so scared. What if this is the only way…what if you're wrong. If you leave here now-"
"-Then I will open my eyes and you will be right there, probably holding my hand or fussing about my room, ordering people around. You have to believe in that. Trust me."
He kissed her before she could speak any further worry. Her lips were icy cold, only warming slowly to the softness of his kiss. He lingered against her mouth…even in an alternate reality the pull they shared towards one another blasted through his body, as he savored a kiss from her all the way down to his toes.
"I'm going to see you again," he mumbled against her lips, pulling away to look at her achingly beautiful eyes, "All I have to do is wake up."
And with that he broke away from her, swiftly…
Locking his hand around the door knob to his left, he turned it without looking back and stepped across the threshold into the unknown…
"House…" Her call was meek, soft and tender.
He could feel the light stir around him.
The darkness that had settled in his sight began to clear, and suddenly there were bright spots taking up root in place of the shadows.
Strange sensations began to form in his hands, unfamiliar…and yet not somehow.
One hand felt warmer than the other, but he couldn't figure out why. It instantly worried his mind…
Why couldn't he figure it out? It felt so simple to him, but something held him back from deducing the answer.
He gave up…and his eyes continued to widen…
Then, the bright spots began to dissolve into other objects, as the view in front of where he lay opened up to him….
A chair. The word for the metallic object immediately popped into his mind, but the rest of the wall looked otherworldly, like it was pulsating back at him. It hurt his eyes, and he poured all his might into forcing his eyelids closed against the stabbing pain that ripped away at him.
"House…can you hear me?"
There was the voice again…calling his name. The sound made him ache to find the owner…and his hand felt even more tightly swaddled in warmth.
It calmed him enough to open his eyes once more.
His face began to twinge with warmth…same as his hand he thought.
Then he felt it with his lips…the blissful heat began to tug on his mouth, and he longed to hold on to whatever was the cause.
Flecks of an image tunneled under his eye-lids…
And he began to see the paleness of a form…
The lines of a neck soon followed. Strands of black hair dangled down in front of delicate shoulders…but it all felt unfinished.
He blinked rapidly, trying to force better clarity within. He moved his head, and upturned his eyes…
"Hey." She spoke.
He could see the pull of her lips as his vision subtly began to clear.
He knew those lips…
He had studied them…of that he was absolutely sure. The lines of her jaw disappeared into a tangle of familiar curls; her cheeks were just the right color, and her eyes…
He held onto her eyes. The sparkle amongst the sea of blue; dark eyelashes draping across her lid. He could lose himself inside the calming affect that instantly overpowered him.
"House?" He felt his hand being lifted, and he watched as she pressed her lips to his fingers before she carefully brought it back down to his side, but she never released her wonderful grasp.
'Yes?'
"You're going to be alright." Her face grew paler, wet trails began to form down her cheeks. Tears…he knew what they were, and he hated seeing them freely cascading before him.
'I'm going…to be fine?'
"Your tumor was completely removed, the surgery went perfectly…you're going to make a full recovery."
She smiled so beautifully, he thought, but there was something else behind her smile, 'Then why are you sad?'
He waited for a reply, but she only continued to caress the back of his hand with her small fingers.
'Cuddy?'
'Are you listening?' He tried again, but this time he knew something was off. His words were not connecting with his thoughts, "How-" He finally managed to croak, instantly zapping all his strength.
"Here, take a sip of water." Cold plastic was placed to his lips, the liquid contained within cooled his burning throat, and he savored the relief. "You don't have to struggle to talk yet…rest…I'm not going anywhere."
There was that smile again…he cherished it…
'Cuddy.' He could feel her name in his mind, his mouth poised to speak it aloud. His fingers curled around her hand, "You…"
"You remember me House?" She whispered, "By the look in your eyes…it sure seems like you do."
House motioned his head in a silent conformation, "White…" He spoke once more as his eyes focused on the sticker placed carefully on her maroon sweater. And he began to read what he had written, recalling a slice of the moment when he first picked up the marker to write down his little reminders.
He smiled…he could actually feel the tug at the corner of his mouth. 'I love you,' he was almost certain he spoke…
"White…what?"
House looked back to the white label with heavy confusion washing over him. 'I said white?' He sighed heavily.
"House…just rest. You can barely keep your eyes open. I will be here when you wake up again."
'Right…sleep might help…' He studied her face, then gazed down to the name tag once again that he had lovingly crafted only days before.
'Sexy boss lady…stubborn…love of my life…' He turned the little token words over in his mind as his eyes finally began their final descent into slumber…
He pulled his mouth back into another smile, "Pain…ass." He spoke with love dripping from his heart for the woman before him, perfectly content to fall into a restful sleep.
"Stop running kid, you know I can't move that quickly."
"House come on we is going to be late!" Rachel halted her movements to beckon him on. Her painted pink polka-dot dress blew up around her from the forceful wind gushing past.
"Late? For what?"
"Fors the party." She rolled her big brown eyes up at him from a handful of feet away, then turned back around and continued on the path ahead...
House could hear the sound of her shiny white shoes clacking against the ground.
Large sculpted trees lined either side of the narrow brick road that House soon discovered underneath his feet. It was only a moment's observation but when his eyes returned in front of him, Rachel had vanished from view.
"Rachel!" He called out into the hollow air, as loud as he could find the strength, but his voice felt swallowed by nature, absorb into the woods that surrounded him. He could see birds hurriedly flying away from somewhere deep inside the mass of trees, creating a haunting affect as their wings clipped the sky…
Vanishing just as quickly as they appeared.
"House!" Her cry was small, but he heard it all the same.
His cane moved quickly. Pounding against the red bricks at his feet as he followed the winding path towards her stunted pleads.
"Rachel? Just stay still I'm coming!" He threw his cane roughly away and began to run despite the pain ripping through his thigh. "Where are you?"
"I can't find you…House!"
She was crying. House knew without question. "Rachel you have to guide me to where you are!" He fumbled over fallen branches as the path narrowed into nothingness and only small dirt trails showed ahead of him.
"Rachel?" He could no longer hear her whimpers; no longer feel that she was close to him.
House moved quickly into the woods as a multitude of wildlife buried within began to sound their calls. His hands started to bleed as he sliced his fingers on bushes and trunks of strange tress that he didn't recognize as something he had ever witnessed.
Then the angle changed, his feet slipped out from under; his body began to plummet down a slope he hadn't even chanced to observe until it was too late.
He feebly tried to catch himself, reaching out for roots in the ground, ivy, thorny bushes, anything he could grasp for…
But to no avail…
He continued to fall down a never ending hill. He could feel his body breaking, bruising; bleeding as he descended towards what he thought would be the ultimate ending for him…
He sealed his eyes closed…tightly…waiting for the final blow…
Then suddenly…he stopped.
He could feel the pain pulsating in his body, his shoulder dislocated, his face marred with deep abrasions. He reached his hand up to check for further damage, gashes in his arms, and a hole in his right pant leg where a sharp twig still remained attached to the fabric.
"House…I fell."
His head whipped around despite the agony it caused, and he saw her mixed within the shrubs…only a single white shoe was still dangling upon her tattered foot.
"Don't move." He commanded her as calmly as he could muster, then he pulled himself up by his one good arm and leg, wincing as his wounds stretched out painfully with each step he made towards her.
"What hurts?" He fell next to her on the ground, cradling his useless arm.
"Nothing…I just fell. We're going to be late." She repeated her earlier statement.
House ignored her comment, focusing on evaluating her from head to toe for signs of trauma.
No blood…
She was filthy, her tights torn and muddy, her once frilly dress still hung from her small frame but with tears at the seams, no longer colored in vibrant pink.
House groaned with discomfort, "Nothing hurts?"
"No silly. " She giggled and rose from her spot on the soft dirt. "Come on. Mommy's waiting for us." She held out her hand and turned towards a small light clearing in the trees, that hadn't been there moments before.
He gingerly grabbed onto her palm, "Let me guess, you're Alice in Wonderland…and I am apparently on some wickedly psychedelic drugs at the moment." He furrowed his brow with discontent, but allowed her to lead him to the stream of sunlight up ahead; the pain from his broken body seemed to heal with each new step.
"We're here!" She squeaked and clapped her hands together. All signs of dirt and grime she had before had vanished and she darted across the lawn to a distant figure moving towards them. "Mommy, we're here!"
House squinted into the glaring sun, until he saw her dark curls blowing in the wind, and a smile he could see from miles away came closer and closer until the woman attached to it was only a few feet in front of him.
She bent over to pick up Rachel in her arms, "Hey baby." House could read her lips as she pressed her arms securely around her daughter. "You brought House too, good job." She placed a kiss into her daughter's hair and set her down on the ground by her side, all the while her gaze held only his.
"Yeah your little white rabbit didn't cause me any trouble at all." He mumbled under his breath.
"It's time for the party." Her smile was breathtaking; House could make out her beautiful faint freckles sprinkled on her face as the sun projected a halo around her body.
"I've never seen you in a dress like that." House watched her inch closer to him, her ethereal turquoise dress bellowed behind her in the wind, the fabric thinly laced over her smooth shoulders.
"You picked it out." She brought her hands behind his neck, the smell of sunflowers and citrus wafted around him.
He returned her smile, and moved his arms to encircle her waist. "This bizarre universe just got a whole lot better."
"Kiss me." She beckoned him with her sparkling eyes.
"Well okay." House retorted, already closing the distance between their lips. Meeting her supple mouth and caressing it with his own. The gloss on her lips tasted wonderfully of strawberries; he swept his tongue across her lip and pressed her body even closer in response.
"You ready? " She pulled away slightly, just enough to whisper against his mouth.
"If this is truly my own imagination here…I'd much prefer to skip this allusive party. Stay right here with you." He leaned in and kissed her soundly once more, weaving his hands through her hair.
"And Rachel?"
"I'll get her a puppy to run around with while we make out." House turned his head just in time to see a fluffy chocolate brown dog came traipsing up the side of the hill, tackling Rachel and kissing her in the face while she giggled with delight. "You see." He smiled fondly back to the woman snuggling intimately close.
"You're good." She replied softly, running her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck.
"Right now I am." He smirked, "Now what did you ask me to do a moment ago?"
"Uh…kiss me?"
"That's the one." He bent his head to one side and began to descend upon her perfect pout once more.
"I don't want a kiss…I'd be willing to hug you."
Wilson abruptly appeared in his sight line as he was suddenly ripped away from his lovely hallucinations.
"Ugly girl." His lips puckered in shock from the drastic transformation of the person before him.
"Thank you."
"I…kiss…him?"
"Uh…you said the word kiss as you were opening your eyes." Wilson sat up from his chair to make it easier for House to meet his eyes without turning his head.
House tried to make sense of being awake, feeling as though this was not the first time. He could recall the memory of Cuddy, but he couldn't tell how long ago that had occurred.
"Here." Wilson placed a cup in his hands and attempted to help him guide it to his lips. House drank the water slowly, finding it to be a harder task than he had anticipated.
"House let me help you." Wilson grabbed the cup as it fell from House's fingers, water splashing across his chest in the process.
"Cups fixed…not mine." House grumbled back. He surveyed the room, seeing the faint light as it began to fade in the day. All he could remember from before is that it was morning during his last bout with consciousness.
"How is your pain? Can you feel any discomfort?"
"It's just you." He shook his head slightly, feeling the throbbing in his skull begin just as soon as it was mentioned to him. "Drugs." He mumbled, lifting his hand to tap on the vein where a small needle was taped to his skin.
"He's awake again, I thought you were going to page me." Cuddy's voice rang in the room.
"It only just happened."
House watched her approach Wilson's side; she reached out and placed her palm against his heart. "How are you feeling today?"
'Today?' House took that as to mean it had been awhile since he had cracked open his eyes.
"For how long?" He looked between the two of them.
"I don't understand?" Cuddy replied softly and stepped closer to his side.
"For how long?" He emphasized once more.
But she shook her head, tilting it with confusion. "House you're still heavily medicated. The drugs and the swelling will decompress and you'll be able to speak again…but you have to allow that to happen."
"Cuddy." He shook his head in frustration, forgetting that jarring his head in any way only brought forth more pain.
"Remember you are going to be okay. Everything will just take time." She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his before he could even process what she was doing.
He closed his eyes to her caress, choosing to absorb some of her warmth instead of trying to push against in his failure to be able to communicate.
Her breath brushed past his ear, "You kiss just the same…I'm sure being able to torment people with your gift of language is not very far behind." She whispered so only he could hear, and then pulled herself away from him with a sly smile.
"Laugh." House squinted his eyes at her with a glint of a smile reflecting back.
"I'll up the pain meds okay?" Wilson went to his I.V. and began to up his dosage. "This is only going to make you sleep more, which is probably for the best."
"Sweet dreams. " Cuddy squeezed his hand and kissed his cheek before she untangled from him. House watched as she backed away from his bed, giving him space to sleep.
"You come too." House called after her, already envisioning her from his last dream in that billowing turquoise sun dress…her sun-kissed cheeks.
Cuddy turned back to him before she reached the door of his room, her eyes spoke as if she absolutely got the meaning behind his jumbled phrasing. "I'll be there." She replied, giving him one last smile as his eyes molded shut and his cognitive thought began to alter again.
She carefully rubbed her temples, trying to quiet the headache bubbling inside. Closing her eyes she leaned against the front door of her house, keys in hand, purse dropping from her shoulder to the floor by her feet.
She watched it fall as her phone spilled out from the leather bag and flew across her front porch. Sighing with sheer fatigue, she felt her eyes sting despite her best efforts to tap down her rolling emotions as she bent down and retrieved her scattered items.
"You coming inside?"
Her Mother's voice startled her as she whipped around towards the unexpected sound under the night sky. "Mom…you almost gave me a heart attack." Cuddy tucked her purse under her arm and followed Arlene inside, closing the door softly behind her so as not to wake up her sleeping daughter.
"You need sleep." Arlene eyed her closely as Cuddy set her things on the table in the foyer.
"I know…how's Rachel?"
"Missing you."
"I can't be in two places at once right now…I've only been away for a few days." Cuddy walked away immediately, and headed to her kitchen, not wanting to hear a guilt ridden lecture when she already was feeling horrible from her absence.
Cuddy had yet to tell her Mom about her ill fated pregnancy. Everything had happened so quickly, and ended just as abruptly as it had begun that there was never time for sharing it all.
She let out another deep sigh, "You want some tea." She calmed her voice from her boiling annoyance and tried a different approach, remembering how willing and helpful her Mother had been over the last week of chaos.
"Yes…I need something to help me sleep before Rachel comes into my room at the crack of dawn."
"Yeah…she's been doing that. She just likes to snuggle in the mornings. She'll go back to sleep if you just tuck her in the blankets and wrap your arm around her."
"Are you staying here tonight? I'm sure she would like to wake up to you."
Cuddy turned on the kettle and leaned against the counter. It was not her plan to stay; House had only just begun to wean off of the drugs from the first few days. She wanted to be there when that happened, wanted to have a real conversation with him, see how far they had yet to go in his recovery.
On top of that she had taken to sleeping by his side, knowing he probably would never know she had curled up on the gurney, holding her hand over his heart. The only thing that soothed her grief was falling asleep to his healthy beating heart beneath her fingertips.
But her daughter needed her too, she had to remember that. Cuddy worried her lips between her teeth, "Yes…I'll stay. Have breakfast with Rachel."
"And I'll take her to school." Arlene offered as she pulled out a chair for her daughter to sit on, then she took charge of the tea and poured them both a steaming cup.
"Thank you." Cuddy replied quietly, her eyes barely able to stay open. "I think I'm going to take the tea to bed, maybe take a bath."
"That's probably best before you topple over." Arlene walked over to Cuddy and placed her hand on her shoulder. "Is he doing better?"
"Yeah…I think so. He's only starting to be eased of the drugs. We'll know more in the next couple days."
"Well…I'll stay a bit longer and take care of Rachel till he comes home."
"You will?" Cuddy whispered in surprise.
"Yes…I'll be here. I mean that new nanny you hired is not the brightest-"
"Mom she has ten years experience."
"What, starting when she was twelve? She can't be more than twenty-two."
"Twenty-nine." Cuddy rubbed her weary face in her hands. "But thank you for staying. I know Rachel loves having you around."
Arlene silently nodded, "Probably about as much as you do." She smirked slightly as she walked away from her daughter.
Cuddy rolled her eyes with a smile of her own, "Night Mom."
"Goodnight." Arlene replied and left her alone.
Cuddy dunked her tea bag one final time and got up to discard it in the trash, switching off the lights before she followed her Mom down the hall.
Passing by Rachel's door she paused momentarily, but then continued on her way. She set her cup on her nightstand and sat upon her bed. The covering was perfectly made, not having slept amongst her own blankets for days. Cuddy stared into space and felt her leg bouncing up and down on the floor as she sat.
Being alone for the first time in days, it was too much for her to bear. She got up and flipped her shoes off, padding softly down her quiet hallway and jarred Rachel's door open with almost no noise. She crept in like a mouse, picking the floorboards to step on carefully without walking on the ones that were sure to creak.
Rachel's arm draped off the side of her bed, her mouth open, while her matted hair flopped across her eyes. Cuddy smiled in the darkness and lifted the heavy book off of the bed next to her. Peter Pan closed quietly and was placed atop the dresser. Rachel must have pulled it down to look at the pictures, she thought. It was a book that Cuddy and House had taken turns reading to her over the last few weeks, finishing only two days before House's surgery, but Rachel was having a hard time letting go.
She tucked her hair behind her ear and slid her hands carefully under her small body. She knew if she moved gingerly she could manage to transfer her daughter to her own empty bed without even waking her.
Cuddy tiptoed down the hall and tucked Rachel securely under the blankets. She shifted slightly and mumbled something in her sleep but kept her eyes closed, much to Cuddy's relief, as she slid in next to her.
The warmth of her child's small frame comforted her, and she cuddled up against her further, breathing her in. Wrapping her arms securely around her she closed her eyes and burrowed beneath the covers…
Now the only thing left for her to do was to tackle the daunting task of turning off her mind, long enough to allow her body a much needed sleep.
"You look nice today."
House glanced down to his clothes, the linen material of his pants felt soft in his hands. His feet were bare and tucked warmly under small piles of sand. "We're on the beach." He looked around carefully, "Our beach."
"Yes." She laced her fingers with his and pulled him down to sit beside her in the sand. "From our first week together."
"A very good week."
"It was at that." They both turned to look out to the horizon, the bold sun descended in the sky, nearly touching the ocean. "It's beautiful here. Peaceful…but we've never been back here…till now."
"I know." House wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close along his body. "We should change that."
"We should…Rachel would love it here too."
"Probably…but if she tagged along than the chances of us sneaking out here late at night and having sex underneath the moonlight would be very slim."
Cuddy laughed throatily and leaned to place a kiss on his cheek, "Good point."
"You know…the sun is setting now…" He looked knowingly over to her, tracing his fingers lightly up and down her arms.
"It is…but it's still going to take some time before dusk settles in."
"Not if I can help it." House spoke as he leaned into her and captured her lips in his own. Placing his hands on either side of her face he opened his mouth instantly, deepening their kiss as she softly hummed her pleasure into his lips.
She pulled away slightly as the night sky blasted all around them, "Nicely done. Did you add extra stars?"
"Perhaps…are my seduction skills working cause I might be asleep for awhile here. I can't think of a better way to pass the time." House wound his finger in a long lock of her hair, and slowly leaned into her, pressing her back against the sand.
"I'd say your seduction skills are working." She giggled and wrapped her hands around the back of his neck, then pressed her rosy lips into his…
"House…" He could hear her murmur his name in his ear.
"House…can you hear me?"
Of course I can hear you…he broke free from her kiss, but then realized she couldn't be speaking anything when her lips were encased in his.
"Wake up…" Her tone was so soothing, beckoning him to the sound…
"Hey." She glowed beautifully in front of him…only they were no longer on the beach. The ocean waves were no longer breaking from a few feet away…
The bright stars were replaced with florescent lighting dangling from the ceiling…but the woman in front of his eyes was still the stunning creature from his slumber.
"Good morning." She sat beside him and grabbed hold of his hand, careful to avoid the I.V. still attached to his skin.
"Morning?" House managed to choke out before a coughing fit overtook him.
"Here. It's been awhile since you've been awake." Cuddy handed him a glass of water. "The meds are drying you out. Drink all of it if you can."
House peered over the offered cup of water, finishing it all before handing it back over to her. "How far ago…was everything?" House mumbled after clearing his throat.
Cuddy worried her lip between her teeth, trying to decipher his words. "Your surgery was five days ago…is that what you want to know?"
"Yes."
"How is your pain? Chase wants you to get to your feet today. Doctors orders."
"My head is…" House paused as he searched for the right word, frustrated when he couldn't link together what he wanted to say.
Cuddy could see the pain in his eyes and knew the next couple weeks were going to be a battle for him…for them.
He was inverting words and she wasn't even sure he knew he was doing so. She knew it was only due to swelling still putting pressure on his frontal lobe that everything would eventually be alright.
But it was the 'eventually' that would not be quick enough for House…and she immediately braced herself for the uphill war they were going to have to face. "I'm going to unwrap the bandages. I think you can take them off for good now."
"Look as a Mummy." House lifted his head off the pillow for her to unravel the gauze from his forehead.
"Something like that." She smiled in the process. "There. Much better."
House lifted his head up to his shaved head, forgetting that he would have no hair; it momentarily shocked him, "Naked." He murmured.
"I think it's kind of sexy actually." She leaned down and kissed him as his hospital door swung open wide.
"No sex with the patient. He's not up for it yet." Wilson came in and stopped at the side of his bed.
House narrowed his eyes at his best friend's ill timed interruption. "I'm up for you coming away."
"Looks like your penchant to be annoyed by my presence hasn't changed much." Wilson stated simply and looked over to Cuddy as she remained perched on the bed. "How does everything feel today, any headache…does your leg hurt? Cause that's probably a good thing if it does."
"Good?" House snarked, and internally checked his pain levels once more. He was still on heavy meds, of that he could be certain.
"One of the nurses unhooked your catheter an hour ago, so I think getting up to use the bathroom would be a great first step into moving this process along."
"You want to see me urine…is that it?"
"Oh yes. My dreams come true."
"Forget it." House turned back to Cuddy, "I like your lips more."
"I'll kiss you when you show us you can walk."
House shook his head in frustration, "My cane?"
"No House. If you fall…we can't take that risk. Either you come with me or I get Nurse Jeffrey in here to guide you. Your call."
"Fire Wilson." House grumbled over to Cuddy, as she rose up from the bed. But then he slowly acquiesced to their demands, moving the blanket away from his body, shifting his legs with determination.
Cuddy offered her hand to him and he took it begrudgingly as Wilson came around the other side of him, and slowly they hoisted him out of bed and his feet touched the cold tile floor for the first time in a week.
House had no choice than to put his weight on both of them. His legs felt like jello, and just the simple steps it took to get to the doorway of the tiny hospital bathroom exerted more strength than he thought he contained inside.
"I'll let you boys continue without me." Cuddy steadied House the best she could and watched as they inched towards the toilet, before she turned and walked away.
She opened the door to his room and pulled in the treat she had planned for him. Inspired by Rachel when they were sitting down to breakfast, Cuddy quickly put her daughters plan into action and stole the huge old television from the nurse's lounge. Then went to work on making the rest of it come together, managing to get everything accomplished and arrive at House's bedside without him waking up before she came.
"What is it?" House eyed the large bulky screen sitting at the foot of the bed as Cuddy was plugging the final cord in.
"A television." She stated simply and pulled a tray of food around to the side of the bed.
Wilson helped him back into bed. "See that wasn't so bad. Looks like you motor skills are fully functioning. That's great House."
"Cheerleader…I don't need one."
"Noted." Wilson began to pull the covers over him but was swatted away but House's persistence in not being treated like a five year old. "I'll be back in a few hours. Make you get out of that bed all over again."
"Very happy for it." House retorted under his breath.
"Thanks Wilson." Cuddy watched him walk out of the room before she kicked her heels off her feet and lifted the tray from the plate of food. "Breakfast in bed."
"Sex in bed?" He replied.
"Not yet…this will have to do for now. Scoot over." She held a hint of a smile as she shimmied next to him in bed and brought the tray across both of their laps. "You need to eat something."
"Food sucks there."
"This is not from this hospital. I brought it from Marco's up the street." She poised the remote in her hand and switched on the television.
House nodded silently and studied the array of food in front of him, it all looked strange to him and he couldn't decide what to choose. "What can I eat?"
"Anything you want." She studied him carefully and witnessed that he was struggling with something but she couldn't figure out what. "Uh…how about a bagel?"
He narrowed his eyes at the round piece of dough in her hands, knowing he liked something else with it but he couldn't think of the word. He scanned the tray for help and saw a container of what he thought was it. "With…white on the top." He stammered and hated himself for failing at figuring out the actual words.
"Right…" Cuddy opened up his request and began to smear it on the bagel. "Cream cheese." She offered to him quietly, trying to not upset him, but offering him the words she knew he was struggling for.
"Thanks." House whispered and took the food in his hands, not bearing to look at her face in embarrassment and anger; he focused instead on the glowing screen ahead as a familiar movie began to play.
"Yellow Submarine…Rachel suggested I bring this to you today. She said The Beatles would make you feel better."
House stared at the screen as the opening music began to softly play. "Rachel…" He spoke her name. Visions of her face played back in his mind. Her bright smile as she played cards with him on Cuddy's bed, the way she twirled around the family room when she couldn't keep still, the way her voice sounded as she hummed to herself while she brushed her teeth. He remembered it all…and it calmed him.
He turned back to Cuddy, and she turned her head to meet his eyes. "Tell her…thanks." House spoke softly.
"I will." She stretched her head up just slightly and placed a kiss at the corner of his mouth.
Then she shifted against him and laid back against the pillows, bringing her arm around his stomach, aligning her body alongside his…
Her head came to rest on his shoulder…and his hand came around her side, folding over her hip as he tucked her close.
To worn to stay awake, their eyes both close in the early morning hours, before the 'yellow submarine' even begin's its journey…