First of all THANK YOU for all your well wishes on my engagement! And all of your amazing reviews of course!

This chapter is a wee bit shorter, but I've had zero time to write, and the perfectionist in me can't stand to put forth a rushed chapter, especially since the next Chappie will be the last.

However I am going to do an epilogue too… so I ask you this:

Would you rather wait and have the last chapter and epilogue posted at the same time?...Or do you want the last Chapter to come as soon as I find it fit enough for people to read, and then wait for the epilogue to be posted after that?

Let me know!

The elevator doors parted only a second after it was called to the third floor. Of course after the metal box opened, and was already peeked to capacity with people, Cuddy forced herself to finally acknowledge that today was not shaping up to be in her favor. She looked to her watch, seeing the hands pointing to eleven thirty, which only served to further her foul mood along.

Her fingers clenched together and she emitted a low growl under her breath before she moved with determination towards the stairwell. She needed an escape. It was the only thought she could weed out properly in her mind.

So her legs began to head up instead of down as was her original destination. Holing up in her office bathroom didn't seem to be enough; she needed more distance to get a hold on everything that seemed to be happening around her without her consent or any sign of reprieve.

Cuddy swung the door to the hospital roof open with force. The handle banged against the wall as she emerged into the warm summer season that spilled out in front of her. She squinted in the sunlight and her hand came up to her eyes, guarding from the intense glare as she surveyed her surroundings; finally taking in a proper lungful of unfiltered air.

She spotted an old bench. It had sat in the far corner of the roof for many years, and she instantly crossed the roof to sit down on the rickety wooden slats, kicking off her uncomfortable heels.

She looked carefully around her, noticing with relief she was entirely alone, and the notion began to bring a sense of calm back into her body...one that she hadn't felt in what seemed like centuries.

But as soon as she allowed her guard to be taken down, to weaken from the strong roots she had put in place over the last two weeks...her eyes began to moisten.

Cuddy feverishly became angry with herself, knowing that no good would come from shedding any more tears. Whatever frustrations, whatever heart-ache she had lived through, wouldn't be helped if she broke down now.

So she quickly dabbed under her eyes to stop any drops from falling, then she leaned back against the top of the wooden bench and stared up into the blank summer sky.

"Cuddy?"

"Wilson?" She lifted her head. "How did you even know I was up here?"

"I ran into Dr. Marks. He said he saw you tearing up the stairs like an angry woman on the verge."

"Oh I did not."

"Meeting went that well huh?"

"Wonderful." Cuddy retorted with loathing in her voice while she picked imaginary lint from her skirt. Wilson walked towards her from a few feet away and quietly sat down on the bench, waiting for her to continue. "The board cornered me. Apparently they unanimously feel that I have been highly inadequate in my responsibilities lately...like I haven't devoted the last fifteen years of my life to this damn hospital."

"I'm sorry."

"Why didn't you warn me about all of this? Surely there was some secret clandestine meeting that I was not invited too so my lack of administrative skills could be discussed."

"I wanted to tell you...but I honestly thought I was making headway at persuading them not to say anything until you got your footing back under you. With everything that you've been through in the last couple weeks-"

"-They don't care." She cut in.

"No...they don't. Especially when it comes to House taking precedent over everyone else's pathetic concerns...it will blow over."

"He's still in the hospital. It's not like I've taken any time off. I'm here, everyday." Her voice rose despite her best efforts to tap down her emotions.

"But they feel…that you're not truly here. I mean how can you be focused on anything besides House's recovery…and grieving your loss."

Cuddy remained silent, looking back to the sky in thought. Knowing he was absolutely right…and so was the board. She felt herself slipping out of control, and she despised feeling like she couldn't manage everything around her. "Why weren't you at the meeting? I could have used you in my corner...would've been the only one."

"My patient coded. Had to call time of death."

"Oh…" She looked over to him, finally seeing the pain in his eyes that she hadn't noticed before in her selfish rant. "I'm sorry Wilson."

"It was for the best…I don't ever wish to be in that much pain."

Cuddy nodded absently, feeling guilty for prodding him in his time of suffering. But then she remembered that he dealt with death more than anyone she knew. He was an oncologist. His patients were often incredibly ill, some beyond saving. He had to compartmentalize within himself to get through each day. Cuddy realized it was why he was such a comfort for her over the last couple weeks; he had years of experience coping with loss.

"And the board will get over it. They had their 'talk' with you…everything will get back to normal now. It's just a power struggle, you know that."

"Yeah." She looked back to the sky, wishing she could just melt into it and vanish…take a little break from it all.

"I actually came up here with good news." Wilson spoke after a few moments of quietly sitting beside her.

"Really?"

"Yes. Chase just received House's scans from this morning and there are no further signs of the bleed we saw in last week's scans…he can go home today."

"Oh thank God." Cuddy felt like a breath she had been holding for entirely too long could finally be released. "If I had to endure one more day of House ranting about being imprisoned in the sadistic hospital from hell I think I would have to take up drinking…heavily."

"Yeah…I already started." Wilson smiled over to her in common jest, eliciting a throaty laugh from Cuddy, and they both began to relax.

"Does House know he's being released?"

"No…figured I would let you handle that."

"He can't be alone yet. Even though he thinks he is perfectly fine…but those headaches are going to incapacitate him for awhile, and he's still inverting words."

"He wants to go home. I'm not sure you could stop him from that. Plus you are going to be at work all the time anyway, so the only person that would be there to watch him would be your nanny."

"Which is my Mother presently…"

"What? How did that happen? And why haven't you come pounding on my door to vent to me. "

"It only happened a few days ago…and so far it's all going eerily complacent. My nanny quit because of her overbearing demeanor. Of course if you ask Arlene it was nothing more than 'polite interferences. "

"Why don't I believe that. "

"Trust me I don't either, but I also wasn't completely taken with the new nanny anyway. I had to hurry and hire when we returned home, but I could have found someone a little more adequate. So in the mean time she's taken the job temporarily until I find a suitable replacement."

"That's a nightmare."

"Yeah…and her watching over House would be an even bigger nightmare."

"The apocalypse"

"Pretty much."

"And I can't take time off right now. " Wilson spoke with regret, "I'm way too backed up with patients to leave them in the hands of Dr. Hendricks."

"Yeah…He's an idiot."

"Careful. You are slowly morphing into House you know." Wilson wagged his eyebrows at her with a smile.

"Well…he is."

"You hired him."

"I know…didn't know he was such an incompetent oncologist when I did though." Cuddy shook her head in defeat. "Guess he gets his wish…at least till I figure something else out."

"When are you going to tell him Cuddy?" Wilson looked over to her with sadness in his eyes, both of them knowing instantly what he was referring too. He had waited two weeks for her to have the strength to talk about it. Sat idly by while she wasted chance after chance of divulging the painful truth to House, and the time had come to make her face it head on.

Cuddy bit her lip and looked away from him; the subject was like a dark plague hanging over her head, hard to even think about without crying. "I don't know yet."

"He can handle it Cuddy…the longer you wait-"

"I know…but it's me that can't handle it yet."

"I can be there with you. You don't have to do this alone…but he needs to know about the baby. He will find out eventually on his own. And that's not fair to him."

"None of it is fair." She spoke lowly, and incredibly defeated.

"But it's the reality all the same."

"He hasn't even mentioned it…the baby…since the surgery."

"Yes he has." Wilson replied softly.

"He has?" Cuddy finally braved to look at his face, his quiet confession jarred her. "When?"

"A few days ago…he was worried he wouldn't get better quickly enough to help you with things once the pregnancy starts to become a bigger burden for you. With work…and Rachel. He knows his recovery period could be long…the headaches could stay with him for months, and combine that with his elevated leg pain…"

"I can't believe he was thinking about all of that." Cuddy felt the ache in her throat as she swatted tears off her cheeks, no longer able to keep them at bay.

"I think beyond anything…his main concern is that he won't be a capable father to two children when the time comes. He wants to be a man that you can count on…not a man that is in so much pain he can only handle that…and nothing more."

"He hasn't said any of this to me…I thought…it was all too much. I thought I was helping him by not telling him what happened. I don't want him to think he has to take care of me when he needs to focus on his own rehabilitation…and I don't want him to think that this is his fault."

"It's House…" Wilson let out a deep sigh, "You and I both know that you can't stop him from feeling what he wants. Or stop him from reacting a certain way. But any sort of guilt he may initially carry over all of this will dissipate…it will just take time…for both of you."

"Time…" She repeated his last word to herself, hoping that time would heal all wounds, and they could finally move on with their lives…leave the pain behind forever.

He got up and stood in front of her, "Come on…" He gestured for her to slip her shoes back onto her bare feet, and then held out his hand to help her up. "Let's go give House some good news before you have to let him hear the bad."

And with that they both headed across the rooftop to the man lying downstairs waiting impatiently to be set free from his cage.

"I am capable of holding my own bag Cuddy. I still have control from my arms."

"I'm already carrying it House. Just stop fighting me over everything and walk to the damn door."

"You want to carry me too?" House muttered loud enough for her to hear as he slammed the car door and watched her scowl in his direction, slamming her own door in return.

They walked ahead in silence. Cuddy made a point to walk slow, keeping pace with him until she saw that it only pissed him off further and then carried on without him, grabbing the keys to unlock his apartment door.

She inched inside and threw his bag on the couch haphazardly, leaving the door ajar so he could follow her inside.

"Just how I left it." He came through the doors after a few more moments.

"You mean smelling like old food?" She retorted, already sick of his attitude all morning before he was finally discharged, and mirroring it with disdain of her own.

"It smells like home to me." He replied as he plopped on the couch next to his bag and flipped on the television. "Aw cable…how I've missed me." His shoes were discarded immediately.

Cuddy heard his misstep but refrained from correcting him, even though ever fiber of her frustrations wanted to yell out it's you, not me! But as much as the spite she felt bubbling within herself seemed to want to burst free, a bigger part of her was just glad he was home, and incredibly grateful the cantankerous man sitting in front of her was still going to be there to annoy her for many years to come.

She stood blankly watching him flip through his television guide. "Well…I'm sure you have about a zillion crappy reality shows to catch up on so I will leave you to rot your new healthy brain."

House looked up as she plucked his bag from the couch in order to deposit it in his bedroom for him. "You don't want to stay and watch?" He patted the sofa next to his hip, "I know you secretly love those Housewives from New Jersey."

"Never." She retorted, even though he was irritatingly right in his assumptions, but she would never admit that to him.

She proceeded down the hall hearing him call after her to 'stop mothering him' and something about being overbearing, but she continued anyway and settled his things back into the proper drawers; most of which just ended up in the dirty clothes hamper, but she refrained from her further impulse to start a load of clothes for him.

The television played some ridiculous music from the other room, and she knew he was now immersed in whatever crappy thing he was watching. She felt heaviness as she surveyed the subdued bedroom. She didn't really want to leave him there all by himself, but she also had a daughter at home that she hadn't spent much time with over the last couple weeks, not to mention that she got the distinct impression that House and her would only further butt heads in their current moment of transition, and she didn't want that to escalate either.

As she turned to leave something caught her eye. She wasn't sure why it even did; it was so minor a thing to notice but she went over to it anyway. The drawer of House's nightstand was shimmied closed, but not completely, and what looked to be a piece of paper was not tucked entirely inside the cubby. She knew she shouldn't snoop but she peeked closer at the object without touching, the glossiness of the edge sticking out signified that it was perhaps a photograph…and before she knew it she was pulling it nimbly out of the drawer.

Her knees buckled, but she found the edge of the bed and caught herself from falling to the floor. Her hands shook as she held the photo in her hands.

The grainy gray lines.

The blackness surrounding the little ball of light in the center.

The misshapen circle holding the tiny lost soul in place…now the only thing she had left to remind her of what they manage to create for so brief a time.

She felt her hands clench around the flimsy paper. House must have printed this out somehow…went back for it…her thoughts swirled around as she pondered the image before her. The picture began to drip with sheen, only then triggering to her that she had begun to cry and her tears were now wetting the memory she needed to allow her heart to move beyond.

But she had no idea how she would ever manage to move past the hole that had formed in her spirit.

"I went back the next day."

His voice broke her from her trance and she looked up to the shadow of him standing a few feet in front of her. "The machine wasn't being used anymore so I was able to print the last image…"

She had chickened out telling him about their loss when Wilson and her had returned to his hospital room. He hadn't a clue why she was sitting on his bed, shedding tears with a vice grip around a small photograph…and the confusion on his face finally reached her…there was no way of hiding anything from him now.

"I'm glad you went back." She quietly spoke, looking into his face before she felt pulled back to the painful memory held in her hands.

"Hormones kicking your ass today?" He asked hesitantly as he tried to discern her emotions. House lingered in his doorframe, studying the tear stained woman in front of him with careful eyes.

"Something like that." She shuddered under her breath, wiping her face clean of residual moisture. Then she gave the photo one last glance before she unraveled it from her grasp and placed it back in the drawer where it had rested before, shutting it away. "House…" She stopped herself from crying more, swallowing down her pain, she rose from her perch on the edge of his bed.

House took in the scene in front of him, putting it all together in a perfect list on the white board he could visualize in his head.

Processing the clues:

Her loss of weight.

The faded glow in her eyes.

Cuddy pulling away from him…he felt it more and more with each day.

Her tears over seeing the photo he had secretly went back to find.

"You just figured it out?" She witnessed the change in his eyes. It was an unmistakable look. "Didn't you?" She could feel the agony in her heart growing stronger…now they would both be grieving.

"What happened?" House felt his voice hitch as sharp twinges of ache began to encroach through his body. It was such an immediate reaction. So jostling to his emotional core; so distinctly natural to feel heartbroken over the news, that he knew undoubtedly he had not only accepted the idea of their baby, but had also grown to depend on it as part of the new life he finally felt ready to embrace.

But a part of that was gone now. "When?"

"It happened very quickly…I'm…so sorry House."

"Why are you apologizing? " He shook his head, feeling a headache screaming to a throw a party in what felt like the center of his brain. Every feeling was mixed together; every kind of pain his body was coursing with, clouded his mind.

He looked into her face and her sky blue eyes transfixed him. He remembered he was not the only one in pain now; he had to help her too. And clearly this had not just happened, she had been holding onto it for some time. But the thought of her dealing with it all alone made it almost unbearable to consider.

"Are….you okay?" He finally asked the most important question and stepped towards her, bringing his hands up to hold onto her arms.

"I'm…" Cuddy felt an immediate sense of comfort as he held her trembling body close. It had been since before the surgery that he was the one to initiate contact, and it was an overwhelming sensation to be enveloped by his strong arms once more.

She buried her head in the center of his chest, "I'm doing okay…now." She mumbled into his collarbone, as her arms came around to embrace him back…

They unlocked their holds but remained close. House ran his thumb slowly down the side of her face, grazing her hair. There was a certain hollowness to his expression, Cuddy knew he was already lost in his process of grief, and she felt her own personal sorrow brimming to the surface…

She had spent the last week feebly trying to tuck it all away.

"How long have you been holding this?"

"A… little while." No part of her wanted to share the details with him. She knew he would begin to put the blame on himself the moment she revealed when it started.

He sighed and limped with unease to the bed, fighting his frustrations as he struggled to make it a few feet without looking like he was in agony.

Cuddy felt horrible watching him struggle to stand for longer than ten minutes at the time; the pain in House's leg seemed to be twice as much since the surgery…and without vicodin to help soothe the pain, it was nearly impossible for him to be free at any moment during his recovery. "Did you already take ibuprofen this morning?"

"Yes." He tried to mask a flash of new pain, "Now tell me the real question."

Cuddy felt confused for a moment, "You mean answer?" She offered softly, hating correcting him because she knew it only served to frustrate him. But it was essential to his healing process, to know when his thoughts were still jumbled, and consciously try to fix the mistakes.

House cleared his throat with a slight bow of his head, biting back irritation. "Yes…tell me what you're hiding."

"I don't remember everything…I was with Wilson…and I passed out after I felt the first pain in my back. "

"Where were you, did you fall to the floor, hit your head? "

"No nothing like that. I made it to a chair…in the observation room...before I fainted."

He knew what that meant, and the only reason she would have been in that room with Wilson. "I'm…sorry I wasn't there." He hadn't a clue what the right thing to say was anymore, his life felt like it was trapped in a haunting movie.

She could hear the guilt hanging on his words instantly. "House, Wilson tested my hormone levels…and they didn't match the normal range for how far along I was. There was nothing that could have fixed this… or could have caused it to happen either." She sat down on the bed by his side, waiting for him to say something in return.

But he remained quiet.

"It was never going to come to term…" She reached for his hand.

"Why did you collapse? Was there more tests made?"

"Wilson channeled his inner House for you that day. Don't worry. I'm healthy…my body is already recovered."

"Good." House whispered robotically, staring at their intertwined fingers resting on her lap. "My head is pounding." His eyes closed as he spoke.

"Lie down…here." Cuddy hoisted herself up on the bed and fixed his pillows for him.

House moved to her in the middle of the bed and laid back on top of the sheets. He closed his eyes again but not before he moved his hand to rest against her thigh. "You don't have to leave yet do you?"

"I should…" Cuddy glanced to the clock, "What time is Wilson coming by?"

"You mean to baby-sit me?"

"Somebody needs too." She remarked, as she made a hasty decision and swung her body around to align with House's on the bed, her head melted into his pillow, her arm wrapped around his waist.

"Wow…I didn't even have to ask you twice to stay." He tucked his arm under her pillow and she burrowed closer to him, raising her neck to lie on top of his shoulder.

"Rachel's in school for another three hours…I figure I can take care of you till then."

"Thanks Mom." House brought up his hand and started to run his finger through her hair; it always comforted him as much as it did her. "What about work?"

Cuddy worried her mouth, knowing House couldn't see her actions. All she could think to say in response was 'I don't care!' "Uh…it's fine. I don't have any more meetings today." She chose a half truth instead.

"And she ditches work for this?" He joked softly, "Lying in bed with me, on a…Wednesday-"

"-Thursday." She corrected with amusement.

"Wait…I am still going to live right? This isn't your way of telling me I have months to survive. Cause you never leave work early."

Cuddy rolled her eyes, lifting her head off his shoulder to look at his face, "You are going to live…as far as I can tell."

"How far is that exactly Dr. Cuddy?"

"Far enough to know that you have time to drive me completely insane."

"Well that could be any day."

"If you don't stop talking, and let me lay by your side, you might be one step closer." She smiled as she cupped his cheek in the palm of her hand and leaned in to kiss his soothingly warm lips. "I only have three hours till I need to be home for Rachel. I think now would be a perfect time for a nap."

"God we are old."

"Speak for yourself." She kissed him once more, eyes closed as she folded her mouth perfectly in line with his, "Now…stop talking. It's been a long day." She nestled back into his side, tucking her shoeless feet under the edge of the blankets.

"K…" House mumbled as his eyes closed even tighter, turning his head to press his face into the top of her curly hair. "Night Nana."

She smiled widely, "Night Grandpa."

"Mom?" She tiptoed into the bedroom as quietly as her bare feet could manage on the creaking wood floor. The rise and fall of her sleeping mother's breathing was noticeable in the moonlight streaming into the bedroom.

"Mommy?" She spoke a little louder; scared of getting into trouble, but urgently needing to be comforted from the blue -eyed crazed monsters that had waken her tumultuous sleep.

Rachel waited a second longer to see if her calling worked. But when she saw no movements she approached the bed and began her climb, throwing her Housie and Lisa dolls on top of the comforter first before she scooted up the blankets and came face to face with her still slumbering Mother.

She stared at her face in the darkness, coming to a decision not to wake her but just snuggle close to her side in order to be protected. Her Housie doll had seen better days. The 'fur' around the unicorn's body was matted in places and less colorful than it had once been. But she still carried him everywhere she went. And Lisa, of course was his wife, so she had to tag along too. Carefully she lifted the covers and tucked both of her dolls in by their heads, scrunching them down so they sat just right, then slid her body in between them and settled back in for the night.

It was faint…but incredibly familiar. The sound only one object could create against her window pain. Not rain, or the scraping of a tree branch swaying in the night wind, but the distinct sound of a long thin cane rapping against the glass.

Her eyes jarred open. Her mind cloudy from the deepening slumber.

She rubbed the sleep from her lids and turned to see a small mound of covers piled on top of a child shaped form. Two smaller heads from some old worn dolls were the only set of eyes she could see peeking out from the covers.

'Tap tap tap tap…"

She remembered why she was truly awake and found her footing as she walked over to the side of her room.

She made a mock face of annoyance as she eyed the late night visitor from behind the glass. She opened it up as quietly as she could, "You know I do have a front door…and a phone." She whispered and gestured towards the sleeping child in her bed, so he would know to do the same.

"Sorry…brain tumor…I forgot." She helped him inside and together they shut the glass pane back into place.

"I'm pretty sure your brain tumor is a thing of the past, so you can't keep using that excuse forever you know."

"I think I have a few more months…I've been told I'm still in recovery."

"And how did you get here? I hope it wasn't by you driving here in the middle of the night. You're not supposed to be driving at all." She moved around him to look at her empty street, not seeing his car or bike parked in front, much to her relief.

"I'm well aware…and you took my keys remember."

"Oh…right."

"There are other ways to get from here to there…there to here."

"Thank you Dr. Suess."

"I took a cab."

"Oh so you do know how to use a phone." She smiled at him. "I thought you were with Wilson tonight."

"He passed out early…can't hang with the grown-ups. " House took off his button down shirt and kicked off his shoes, placing his cane against a chair. "He is quite an irresponsible sitter if you ask you."

Cuddy eyed him suspiciously, he was careful to avoid her eyes. "Did you drug him?"

"I would never do that." He unbuckled his pants with an absolute look of innocence plastered on his face.

"You do that to someone at least once a month."

He finally finished removing enough clothes so he could comfortably go to sleep, then he came in to her space and wrapped his arms loosely around her waist, "Oh…can I stay the night?"

Cuddy had to bite her lower lip from laughing out loud and waking up Rachel. His buzzed hair-cut from the surgery, made him look sexier than she could bear. And even cuter when he was slowly tracing circles against her lower back with his gentle fingers. "Looks like you already made that decision."

"Are you guys awake?" The petite sleeping mound of blankets stirred, as an observant pair of eyes and ears emerged from the blankets. "House is yours cold better?"

"I told her you had a bad head cold and had to stay at home so you could get better." Cuddy said quickly under her breath, "Rachel it's still night time, and why aren't you in your own comfy bed? It's not just for decoration you know." She crossed to the bed and sat beside her very awake daughter.

"Cause um I had a bad dream…is House staying here tonight? Can we watch cartoons in the morning like before?" She looked back and forth between the two of them inquisitively. A smile already creeping on her face as she waited for the right reply.

"Depends…what do you have in mind?" He approached the other side of bed slower than normal. Without a cane, House felt the pain emanate through his thigh as if it were a direct link to cause a thunderous headache to erupt deep within his skull.

"How bout some Yogi Bear?"

"Sure Boo Boo…but your dolls are resting their furry heads on my pillow."

"Rachel if you want to watch cartoons in the morning then you have to go back to your room to sleep. House is still getting better, he needs a good rest in a bed without a kicking four year old to torment him."

"But-but what if those monsters get me with their slimy hands?" She whined immediately, rubbing her eyes.

"What if I take you…tuck you back in? Monsters are scared of me." House offered without even thinking. But he knew it would work in getting her back into bed. He felt the smile that graced Cuddy's lips before he checked to see if it was truly there.

It was.

"Okay…but then we can watch cartoons right?" Her timid voice asked, her hands already grabbing her dolls and tucking one under each arm.

"Yeah, but you have to go back to sleep, no coming back in here and wiggling between us."

"Come on baby." Cuddy lifted her from the middle of the bed and placed her feet on the floor. "Wait let me get your cane." She crossed to the chair where it rested, coming over to his side and kissing his cheek before she handed him his cane. "You sure you feel up to this? Want me to come with?"

"I got it." He replied with quiet ease, looking over towards Rachel.

She stood quietly against the doorframe, snuggling her nose into the ragged head of the unicorn House had sent in a small package for her fourth Birthday. It felt like years had gone by since he began his attempts at finding a way back to Cuddy. Finally pouring his whole heart unabashedly into telling her once and for all, he couldn't bear to live without her…without them both.

His eyes glanced back to Cuddy who was watching his reverie closely. "Keep the blankets warm." He leaned in as he spoke and kissed her softly, running his hand down her arm. Then he pulled away and gingerly walked to Rachel, pausing for only a moment before he silently held out his fingers for her pint-sized hand to latch onto.

Cuddy watched them walk side by side until they turned the corner and vanished from view. The image of House being such a contented loving father, of Rachel looking up to him with unabashed admiration, stole her breath away. It was like a picture perfect snapshot in her life that she would always hold onto. And never, from that moment on, forget how truly lucky she was.

Everything she needed in life was already right there by her side.