Post Puppet Production Problems

"I thought you had a fear of puppets," Mabel said as she helped her exhausted and limping brother off stage.

"No, I fear Bear-O, as any sane person should," Dipper replied.

"Dude, tough crowd," Soos said as he and Wendy approached the pair.

"You killed, almost literally," Wendy assured them. "I'm pretty sure at least three people caught fire during the grand finale."

"That wasn't planned," Mabel admitted. "Dipper got possessed by Bill."

"The triangle guy?" Soos asked with a wince.

"Yeah," Dipper admitted. "He offered me the password to the laptop in exchange for a puppet, but the puppet turned out to be me. And how come no one noticed I was possessed? His talking to me when I was floating around as a spirit should have been a big clue."

"I thought you'd gone bananas from lack of sleep," Soos admitted. "I just didn't say anything 'cause we're bros."

"I accidentally drank some Mabel-Juice," Wendy admitted. "I was trying to figure out why my left hand was speaking French and to tell you the truth... staring at my chest and calling me Babe? Not exactly something I haven't seen before. I thought the demon possessing you was in your pants."

Mabel fell down laughing and Soos snorted. Deprived of support, Dipper started to fall, but Wendy caught him.

"Please tell me I'm not going to get that bad," Dipper begged.

"Sorry, dude," Soos said with a sigh. "It's inevitable."

"But... I don't want to be rude and obnoxious," Dipper groaned.

"And I didn't want to be touchy and over emotional," Mabel said. "It's fate."

"Suddenly, being a disembodied spirit doesn't seem that bad," Dipper said as everyone shared a laugh.

"Everyone goes through it," Wendy assured him. "Remember how upset I was about breaking up with Robbie? Tell me that made any sense."

"Ouch," Dipper said with a wince.

"You don't hold that against me, so I won't hold you talking to my chest against you," Wendy assured him.

"I will knit you a sweater with your face on your chest," Mabel told her. "That way Dipper won't forget what you look like."

"Let's get me some medical attention," Dipper said, trying to change the subject, "and some sleep." He suddenly slumped over.

Wendy picked him up bridal style. "And he's out."

"And drooling on your chest," Mabel noted as Dipper was indeed snoring against Wendy's chest.

"And too unconscious to enjoy it," Soos said sadly.

"We'll take photos," Wendy said. "Now let's get him to bed before I crash from the Mabel Juice."

"Hand still speaking French?" Soos asked.

"I think it's speaking Spanish now," Wendy replied.

"You got another hour before you pass out," Mabel assured her.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"You always forget about the downsides to having a body when you haven't had one in so long," Bill said.

"Bill!" Dipper growled out. "You lied to me! You offered me the password in exchange for a puppet, but you didn't give me anything!"

Bill laughed. "Still haven't figured it out, kid? I offered the password to the laptop, so when I didn't give you anything, what did it mean?"

"The laptop doesn't have a password?" Dipper guessed. "But... it was a trick," he realized. "There was probably a switch or something, maybe a physical key."

"Bingo, Pine Tree! You accepted something that was nothing for a single thing that turned out to be everything!" Bill laughed so hard tears came to his one eye.

"And the countdown... was all you. I was already asleep and you made me dream it," Dipper admitted with a groan.

"Man, this is more fun than watching The Price is Right where they trade a huge prize for a worthless empty box!"

"I was stupid, I get it," Dipper admitted. "So why are you here now?"

"I just wanted to remind you we made a deal, and just because I'm letting you have your body back for now doesn't mean I won't be borrowing it again in the future," Bill said smugly. "So take good care of it, because it belongs to me."

"What?! No!" Dipper yelled in horror as Bill faded away, his evil laughter echoing through Dipper's dreamscape of the Mystery Shack. Dipper was frozen in panic for a minute before forcing himself to calm down and think. It was his panic over the laptop erasing itself that started this, after all.

"This is my mind. I can do anything here," Dipper reminded himself. "OK, first I need to make sure Bill is gone, so I need something to search my Dreamscape. Second, I need something to keep out intruders in case he returns. Third, I need to figure out what to do."

Closing his eyes and concentrating, Dipper was rewarded with three people appearing with a pop. He smiled when he saw them, even if they weren't the real thing and were just his mental representations of them.

"Bill can repossess my body at any time, thanks to my own stupidity," Dipper told them. "I created you guys to help protect me from him."

He stepped forward and tapped Mabel on the forehead, causing her to shatter into hundreds of tiny, winged girls. "I need you to look for any trace of Bill. I can't afford to have him interfering."

"On it, BroBro!" the Maybees chorused before scattering to the winds.

"Dude, she's going to see every second of your life, your innermost thoughts," Soos warned him.

"Mabel has been with me my entire life, from the womb," Dipper said. "I'm pretty sure she knows it all anyway." He wasn't really concerned, she was just a construct, but what he said was true.

"What am I here for?" Wendy asked, looking around curiously.

Dipper punched her in the shoulder, causing her to multiply a dozen times over. "Security," Dipper told her. "You know how to handle yourself and swing a mean axe. I need you to help Mabel keep me safe while I figure out how to revoke Bill's user privileges of my body."

"I do not look that good," Wendy said as she examined one of her other selves.

"You do, trust me," Dipper assured her. "I've spent a lot of time looking at you."

A dozen Mabees took up position on the Wendys' shoulders and started directing them on patrol routes.

He ignored the girls' talking to one another as they left, and turned to Soos.

"What do I do, dude?" Soos asked eagerly.

"Help me think of what to do, 'cause I am out of ideas," Dipper admitted. He pursed his lips and blew upwards, blowing a tiny Mabee off his nose who then took up residence on his shoulder, giggling all the while.

"Well, this place is the sum total of all your memories, so how about creating a copy of the Journal and seeing what it says?" Soos asked.

A pair of books appeared and they both opened them and paged through them.

"Whatever you do, don't let him into your mind," Dipper read with a heavy sigh.

"Yeah, kinda past that point, dude," Soos agreed.

"I know, just reminding myself not to be such an idiot," he said. The tiny Mabee on his shoulder gave him a hug and patted the back of his neck, making him feel a little better.

"Here's a ritual to summon other aspects of self," Soos said.

"How would that help?" Dipper asked.

"You could summon an aspect that knows how to protect your mind from Bill," Soos explained.

"I'm pretty sure I don't know how," Dipper said, confused.

"By aspect, it means dimensional alternate," Soos said. "One of the alternate timeline yous, like from Star Trek, not just a facet of you now."

"Oh," Dipper said, wide eyed. "Soos, you're a genius!"

"I do OK," Soos said cheerfully, already concentrating on creating a dream door with the appropriate symbols.

Dipper flipped through his own copy of the Journal until he was on the same page and went over everything Soos did, reinforcing and double checking the markings. Between the two of them, they'd created a large wooden portal set in a granite doorway, heavily engraved with runes. The door seemed to have a reality the rest of Dipper's dreamscape lacked, much like the four people currently there.

"I just knock?" Dipper asked in surprise.

"Yeah, that's the final step," Soos agreed.

"OK, here goes," Dipper said, stepping forward and knocking on the door three times.

*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*

The knocks rang out like he'd used a sledge hammer, attracting several more Mabees and one of the Wendys. Everyone stared as the door slowly opened and a figure stepped out.

"Damn," Wendy said as a sixteen years old Dipper wearing a dressy, sky blue, western showman outfit, with his hair slicked back, stepped out of the doorway; confidence in his every movement as he looked at the assembled group.

"Hello, me! I understand you have a problem," William Pines stated.

AN: Saw an artist's rendering of Rev-Pine Dipper and Bipper and for some reason I suddenly wanted to see them in a VS match. Then I wondered how I could set that up and this is what I came up with.

Typing By: Ordieth