Well guys this story is really just not speaking to be lately…I know where I want to go…exactly. I have that part all planned out…just having slight issues getting there. But I'll push through that and get a better chapter for you guys next week…promise.

I continue to own nothing.

[The beginning is very dark and could be considered disturbing to some. It is a nightmare that Candace has…feel free to skip it, I won't be offended]

Chapter 5

Candace POV

It was dark.

The darkness whispered around me, words that I had not the knowledge to understand. I was not sure I wanted to. I cried out into the abbess but got no reply save for the quiet whisperings around me. I didn't recognize the voices…they sounded…haunted.

I tried to stand but I couldn't find my legs. I feared that I had none left. I couldn't feel the tears flowing down my cheeks but I knew that they were there.

Was I alone?

The whisperings grew louder and turned into gasps and cries and became screams against her ears.

Such a scandal!

The devil's work, I am sure.

What is the world coming too?

Sin, Sin, sin

The child will have no father, how will it live?

She is so weak!

No one could ever love her! She is a complete wreck.

She could never handle…

"You are such a pretty thing."

My breathing quickened. That voice, that voice was a voice that I would never forget despite my trying. That voice was the voice that would haunt my dreams until my dying day and possibly even after.

Yuki

He was there. Why did he have to torture me so?

"Hello maid."

I finally found my mouth and I screamed.

"…and then he just left. I don't know why he was so surprised, to be honest. Gossip goes around, so quickly."

"He just got up and left? Not even another word?" I asked.

I had been awake for about ten minutes before my mom thought to inform me on just how I had gotten here. The fact that he had just gotten up and left…honestly scared me for reasons yet to be reasoned.

My mother shook her head. "Nothing, but don't worry. The boy's just a little bit frightened that's all."

"Frightened?"

"He had no idea what was going on!" She explained. "I'm assuming, the boy's never been around a woman that's expecting before."

His mom died giving birth to him, I wanted to add. But I didn't, he had told me that, it wouldn't feel right spreading his secrets despite the current situation.

I shook my head. "No, I don't think so."

"I was just glad that you hadn't lost him. I told you the cold is deadly."

"I know mother."

"I know you do, sweetie, I'm just trying to look out for you, that's all." She paused. "Though by the way he reacted, I could tell that he cared about you, Candace. You should have seen him, racing in here! He had to make sure that you were safe and that really says a lot..."

I raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, maybe he might be a good choice for a husband. I know you don't want to think about that but someday you'll regret it."

"I'm independent, I don't need him."

"I know you don't…now but what about ten years from now or twenty even. What about when I'm not here anymore then who would take care of you? I'm only looking out for your better life, dear."

"Better?"

She rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean, you might have a chance to be happy again, don't throw it away."

I've never been happy, mom. Happy has never been a choice, I've always been miserable. That's the last thing on my mind, I wanted to add but that would have broken her heart…more.

"I'll give him a fair chance," I replied.

It was days before I saw him again. I'll admit I was anxious but still did not know why. He knew my secret but what would that change? I thought that it would change a lot considering that he was not there to meet me every day at the library doors. Despite all, I found that I really did miss him. I never thought I'd enjoy his company but I found that I did and I didn't want this to wedge a wall between us.

I knew I had to confront him, it was the only way to figure out what was going on with him.

So, why was I scared?

It wouldn't change anything, would it?

That morning, I went about my usual routine. I stopped in front of the mirror and for the first time in a week I actually looked at my reflection. I looked completely drained, like I hadn't slept or eaten in days.

I had certainly eaten plenty, baby likes the eggs best.

I slipped my hands down and felt along my stomach. I had a pretty large baby bump now. Large enough that my hands wouldn't completely cover it from the sides…it was strange. I had always been a really skinny child, never gaining much weight no matter what I did. Now, that was thrown out the window since I was beginning to look like a deflated balloon.

I sighed and slipped my loose fitting gown over myself.

I was going to talk to Jeremy today and I wasn't going to let my insecurity get in the way.

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