(On a side note, when I was writing this chapter i had my ipod on shuffle and "Do what you had to do" by Sarah McClachlin (sp?) came on. For the mood I'm trying to set in this chapter, that song goes perfect when you picture it from Jade's point of you to Beck or vise versa ;) )

Chapter 13

I had no idea how complicated it was to do this. It was hard to think about. I had been looking around at some clinics around the city. We found one that looked safe and went and picked up a ton of forms to fill out. The one that she was qualified for was a small surgery. Luckily Jade was already 18 so she didn't need parental consent.

I tried to convince Jade to tell her mom about it. She said she just wanted to get the procedure done and move on. Forget that it ever happened. In any other case I would have tried to talk someone out of getting it done, but in Jade's case… I mean really? Can you see her being pregnant and having a baby? Especially when the guy lived in Europe.

Telling him was hard. She was in my room she told him, I was sitting out in the hall. I knew she wouldn't admit it but I could hear her crying. From what it sounded like the guy agreed to it, he was graduating from his fancy acting school and wanted to focus on his career and he, like Jade, didn't know how having a baby with both parents in different countries was going to work out. So he agreed.

We told Beck the truth, I think Jade wanted to confide in him the way she did in me. Beck was shocked, but just the same as me he promised that he was going to be there for her. I was going to take her in and stay there all the way through the end. The surgery was going to cost $1,500. At first, me and Jade didn't think this was going to be a possibility, neither of us had that kind of money. When we told Beck he came right over to my house.

"Here," Beck said handing her an envelope.

Jade opened it, it was full of cash, "Beck…this is a lot of money you know."

"I know, but if this is what it takes I'll do it," Beck said sincerely.

"But Beck-" Jade started to say.

"Don't worry about it, just do what you have to do for yourself," Beck said and then put his hand on her shoulder, "I promised you that no matter what happens to us or you that I was going to take care of you. No matter what, I'm always going to be here for you. I promise."

It was in that moment that I realized that Beck and Jade were always going to be connected. Beck is the only one Jade confided in about her dark past. I wasn't jealous or angry, just happy. I was happy that Jade and someone like Beck, she needed someone like him. I just hoped that some day me and Beck could be connected like they were.

So on Friday me and Jade both skipped school. We had a long day ahead of us, the surgery was going to be 30 minutes and the recovery time was only a few days. So we had the whole weekend to relax. The drive to the clinic was quiet, I could tell Jade was nervous.

"Do you think I'm doing the right thing?" Jade asked out of the blue. I had never seen her like this, her hair was a mess and she didn't bother to put on any make up. I've never seen her look so human. She was suffering, suffering from being pregnant, loosing Beck, her parents everything.

"I don't know Jade. Do you think you're doing the right thing?" I replied glumly.

"I hope so…" Jade replied.

I felt like I just had to say it, "Jade…look sometimes. Sometimes things just don't work out the way you plan it, and sometimes it's just not our fault. Life is hard, but it's people like Beck that make bearable."

"And people like you?" Jade offered.

I gave her a small smile. We pulled up to the clinic it was mostly empty. We took an early morning appointment so that Jade would have more time to recover. Her appointment was and 8. We walked into the lobby, and Beck was there sitting on the chair.

"Beck, what are you doing here? I thought you didn't want to come?" Jade said surprised.

"I thought you'd want me here when you got out," Beck said giving her a hug.

"Thank you…" I heard her whisper in his ear.

"Jade West?" the nurse said walking up to her.

"Uh yeah that's me," Jade mumbled.

"Come on back sweetie, everything will be ok," the nurse said and led her to the back.

She looked back at us and waved and smiled a little. We both waved back.

Now we just had to wait, we sat in the lobby. No one was here because it was so early. The lobby smelt of fresh coffee and had water stained magazines on the small table next to the couch.

"You two really loved each other didn't you?" I said out loud not looking at him.

"Yeah…" Beck replied, "we did… are you mad though?"

"Surprisingly no. I still want to be with you, but I think Jade needs you more."

"That's what I thought for awhile. Jade has been through so much though. I think she'll be ok. She just needed a push in the right direction."

"Yeah maybe…" I replied to him. I have never felt so distant from him in all of our relationship. I think Beck felt the same way.

"Tori," Beck started to say, "I have to be there for Jade. I'm always going to be no matter who I'm dating…but me and her. We were just a bunch of kids when we started dating. We've both grown up a lot. Jade's really strong, and even through this I think she'll be ok. Me and Jade, we're both going different ways and I think we both accepted that. I still want you and all of you."

"Yeah, I think Jade will be ok too, and I'm alright with you being there for her. I want you there for her. I trust you Beck that same way I trusted you that night at the lake," I replied now facing him.

"I love you Tori," Beck said and I could see the honesty in his eyes.

"I love you too…" I said as I buried my face into his shoulder just so I could get a whiff of his cologne. We wrapped his arms around me and ran his hands through my hair.