Turn to Stone
Sam Winchester
You can still hear the hounds coming for the attack in the background as we race to find Crowley.
That girl is crazy. We've only just met yet she willingly comes to help us fight our battles.
It makes no sense. She could have gone home and been done with us but for whatever reason, she decides to stay and put her life in danger. Yes, she is powerful and strong, but her weakness lies in allowing herself to be put at risk for people she has no business caring about. She's like me when I had my soul times ten. She's just another example to me of why I don't know that I need my soul. That desire to help us comes from some emotional need in her and honestly, I don't think I need to feel that hold over me.
Suddenly there's a bright flash of light and Castiel disappears. When we look up we see Samuel standing there next to an angel banishing sigil.
"Where the hell did you come from?" I shout out to him.
"Oh, he's been following you boys for a while now" Crowley says revealing himself. A few of his men grab me and Dean from behind. "And I have to say, best purchase I've made since Dick Cheney."
"Hiya Crowley, how's tricks?" Dean utters nonchalantly.
"Above your pay grade. Been working. Big things. Alas you'll be too dead to participate."
"Really?"
"Shame I have to do away with you both. Rather enjoyed your indentured servitude."
We try to fight with the demons holding us back but to no avail and we're each thrown into separate cells.
"Sam?" Dean shouts from his cell beside me.
"Yeah," I say back.
"I'm standing in pee."
"Consider yourself lucky" I say as I look down at the pile of shit that I'm standing in.
"Yikes, that sucks."
I hear a door open from somewhere close but there's nothing that I can see.
"You want forgiveness find a priest" Dean says to the person behind the door.
"I just want you to understand" Samuel tries to plead.
"Oh I understand. You're a liar. You talk about putting blood first—you sound just like my dad. Difference is he actually did!" Dean shouts at him. "I just gotta know why? What is Crowley holding over you? You owe us that."
"He's gonna give her back to me. Mary's my blood! My daughter! "
"Crowley's gonna bring Mom back from the dead?" Dean asks doubtfully.
"You tell me you don't want her back?"
"How are you gonna tell her that you chose a demon over your own grandsons?"
There's a pause.
"See it how you want. I don't even know what Sam is and you want me to protect him? And you? You're a stranger" he says and I hear Dean chuckle.
"No really, tell me, what exactly are you supposed to be to me?"
"I'll tell you who I am. I'm the guy you never want to see again. Because I'll make it out of here. Trust me. The next time you see me, I'll be there to kill you" Dean says and I can tell by his voice that it's not just a threat.
"Don't think there's gonna be a next time" Samuel says quietly.
"Whatever gets you through the night."
Then that door closes again. But not long after another one is opened and I hear Dean getting pulled away.
All of this is adding to the reasons I'm becoming even more certain that I don't want my soul. If I get it back, then what, I become just like them? Their biggest weaknesses are in their need to have the ones they love. It's pathetic. Time and time again they've both proven that loving anything is a mistake because it brings you down.
But I have to help Dean. Not because of any of that sappy crap, but because he's had my back this whole time and I owe him one. I'll get him out of here.
I crouch down and look all around the cell I'm in when an idea pops into my head. I look down at my arm and bite until I hear blood dripping to the floor.
The door to my cell bursts open with the demons that grabbed me and Dean standing there.
"What did you do with my brother?" I ask from my same crouched position. I can tell that they think I'm afraid.
"Oh you'll find out, you're about to join him" one of the demons says as they both walk further into the room and right into the center of the devil's trap I've made. It's already too late when they realize it and for a second all I can do is laugh at them.
"Dean!" I shout as I run down the hall. Every room I pass is empty. But then I can hear his voice screaming something.
"Dean!"
"Let me go you son of a bitch!" He shouts from somewhere close.
"Dean!"
I hear a commotion coming from a room nearby and burst through the doors. I see Dean on the ground being tackled by two men and I grab the first thing I can and knock them off of him. I keep hitting them both until they're dead and Dean is on his feet again.
"Thanks." Dean says between breaths.
When he catches his breath we go searching for Bonnie and Meg. If we got caught, I'm sure they did too.
We find Meg first. Her screams lead us straight to the room she's in. She's lying naked on a table being tortured by the demon possessing Christian's body. Dean wastes no time killing him.
"Where's Bonnie?" I ask as Dean unties Meg from the table.
"Crowley's men took her" she says. "They said something about her being valuable in finding it." There's no need to ask what 'it' is. How do they know Bonnie can find Purgatory? Dammit, how long was Samuel tracking us.
"Where'd they take her?" I ask impatiently.
"How would I know, I've been a little tied up" she says with a twisted smirk on her face.
"We should go" I say. "We should find her before Crowley realizes we're all still alive."
We go running around the warehouse in search of Bonnie. There's nothing, not a sound, to give us any hint to where she might be. Whatever they're doing to her, she's tough. Even Meg screamed out. A smell gives us a clue to where she might be. It's the smell of smoke and burning flesh.
We find her much in the same position we found Meg in, only the scene is a little different. Like Meg was, she's tied down naked to a table, only difference being there's not a scratch on her body. They must have stripped her down and tied her up while she was knocked out. Based on what else is in the room, I take it that's all they were able to do. Scattered on the ground are the charred remains of what must have been her captors. There are still flames on the ground as we walk in.
"Took you long enough" she says. Her whole body is shaking on the table but I think it's the cold and not fear that's causing her to react that way.
"You're lucky we showed up" I say in jest as I untie her from the table. She just rolls her eyes. I can't find her clothes so I wrap my jacket around her small frame. She looks down at the still bleeding flesh on my arm.
"Yeah, sure" she says. Then she places her hand above the wound on my arm and suddenly it's gone.
"Find Crowley yet?" she asks looking to all of us.
"We got a little caught up" Dean says.
"Go, get Crowley. I'll handle the rest of this mess" she says and zips my jacket up around her. As she's walking I notice that every room she passes bursts into flames.
Getting Crowley ends up being easier than we imagined. He runs right into our trap.
"You should be ghoul scat by now" he says to Dean when he sees him standing there.
Instead of waiting for Dean to respond I just hit Crowley across the back of the head with a wrench.
"Really necessary? I just had this dry cleaned" he says as he gets back to his feet. When he realizes he can't move forward he looks up and sees the trap. "So, to what do I owe the reach around?"
"Crowley" Meg says when she enters.
"Whore" he spits back.
"Okay you know what," she says and clenches her hand, "the best torturers never get their hands dirty." As she says this Crowley keels over and starts coughing up blood. "Sam wants a word with you."
"What can I do for you, Sam?" he asks spitting out on final bit of blood.
"You know damn well. I want my soul back." I say with malice in my voice.
"And here I just thought you just grew some balls, Sam" Meg says beside me. I ignore her.
"Well?"
"No."
"Meg," Dean calls and again Meg makes him keel over spitting blood from his mouth. This time though, he falls to his knees.
"I can't."
"Can't or won't" I question.
"I said 'can't' and I meant can't you mop-headed lumberjack. I was lucky to get this much of you out. Going back in there for the sloppy bits? No way" he says. "I'm good, but those two in there, forget it."
"How do I know you're not lying?"
"You don't. But it doesn't change anything. Sam, why do you want the thing back?" he asks and I honestly don't know why. "Satan's got one juicy source of entertainment in there. I'd swallow a rag off a bathhouse floor before I took that soul. Unless you want to be a drooling mess?"
For a second I'm brought back to a conversation I heard between Cas and Dean before we left. They were talking about me and my soul.
"I'm not sure retrieving Sam's soul is wise" Cas had said.
"Wait what? Why?" Dean asked.
"I want him to survive."
"What are you talking about?"
"Sam's soul has been locked in the cage with Michael and Lucifer for more than a year and they have nothing to do but take their frustrations out on him. Do you understand? If we try to force that mutilated thing down Sam's gullet, we have no idea what will happen. It could be catastrophic."
"You mean he dies?"
"I mean he doesn't. Paralysis, insanity, psychic pain so profound that he's locked inside of himself for the rest of his life."
"Sam, I hate to say it, but he's right" Meg says in agreement and her voice brings me back to reality.
"Yeah, right, I get it. Thanks. He's all yours" I say and give Meg the permission to kill this asshole.
"Whoa! What are you crazy? He's our only hope." Dean yells beside me.
"Dean, you heard him. He's can't get it. He's useless!"
He looks at me for a second but backs off and gives Meg the blade. Meg takes it with a smile on her face and inches closer to Crowley.
"You'll let me back out right?" she asks and we nod. Though I'm not sure that's true.
"This is for Lucifer, you pompous little—"she starts but Crowley kicks her down and uses the blade to break the trap.
"That's better," he says and throws us both against the walls. I try to move but there's a wall holding me back.
"You don't know torture you little insect" he growls at Meg. He doesn't see it, but Castiel appears behind his back carrying a large bag.
"Leave them alone" Castiel declares.
"Castiel, haven't seen you all season. You the cavalry now?" he mocks.
"Put the knife down."
"You that bossy in heaven? Hear you're losing out to Raphael. The whole affair makes Vietnam look like a roller derby."
Castiel doesn't show any sign of listening and simply brings forward the bag in his hand.
"Hey, what's in the gift bag?" Crowley asks.
"You are." Cas says with a skull in his hand.
From the silence that follows I assume he's telling the truth.
"Not possible."
"You didn't hide your bones as well as you should have."
Crowley begins giving Castiel applause and sarcastically says "Cookie for you."
"Can you restore Sam's soul or not?" Cas asks and throws the bag to the ground. Crowley snaps his fingers and releases us.
"If I can help out in any other—"he tries.
"Answer him!" Dean shouts.
"I can't." he says and with no hesitation Cas sets his remains on fire. We watch as everything that he was gets destroyed in the flames. At some point Meg disappears.
"Well she's smart, I'll give her that. I was gonna kill her too. 'Course I'd have given you an hour with her first." Dean says to a baffled Castiel.
"Why would I want that?"
Dean and I share a look and just ignore him.
"Let's find Bonnie" I say at last.
Castiel zaps us straight to her and again we're greeted with the smell of burning flesh. Bonnie turns to us with the flames still in her eyes.
"Are we done here?" she asks.
"Yeah, uh, we are" Dean says cautiously eying her. I don't blame him. She looks kind of terrifying with sweat matted hair and a trail of blood running from her nose that she doesn't seem to care about, wearing nothing but my bloodied jacket.
"Then I suggest you two get out of here" she says.
I almost protest when Cas takes us out again. From outside the warehouse we see windows bursts as the whole thing goes up in flames.
"How is she supposed to survive that?" I question.
"She created it" Cas says, "she can get out."
"Can you go grab her just to be safe" I say in response. He disappears and reappears with Bonnie back so quickly it's as if he'd never left.
"So did you guys find out how to get your soul?" Bonnie asks.
"No" Dean and I say together. She looks between us and you can tell that she feels remorse for us. There's no need to.
"We'll figure something else out" Dean says to us all.
"No, we won't." I say.
"Oh why, because Crowley said—"
"You heard what Crowley said. And I heard what Cas said. Putting this thing back in me would smash me to bits." There's a pause and Bonnie and Cas just look on at us silently.
"We don't know that for sure."
"You know what: when angels and demons agree on something, call me nuts, I pay attention."
"You say this now. After we practically died trying to—"
"Exactly! We almost got ourselves killed! I mean how many times do we risk our asses for this? Enough's enough."
"Sam—"
"I don't think I want it back" I say and I begin walking away.
"You don't even know what you're saying" Dean says angrily to my back.
"No, I'm saying something you don't like." I say and turn back to him. "You obviously care a lot. But I think maybe I'm better off without it."
"You're wrong. You don't know how wrong you are."
"I'm not sure about that" I say and this time when I walk away I don't turn back.
"Sam!" Dean shouts. "Sam! Don't just walk away!"
Footsteps run up behind me and I'm ready to fight whoever it is, assuming it's Dean, but I'm shocked when I realize it's Bonnie.
"What do you want?" I ask her without bothering to stop moving.
"Take me home" she says and stares into my eyes unflinchingly.
"I don't know if you can tell or not, but I don't exactly have a car" I say sarcastically walking a little faster.
Then a black van I recognize as being one of Crowley's appears before us. From the look on her face, I know Bonnie made it happen.
"Take me home" she says again and opens the door to the passenger side. She takes a seat and stares at me. She's still got blood on her face and she's clinging to the jacket. From what I've just seen, I figure there's no need to fight with her about this now.
"Well, ok, then" I say and I take a seat in the driver's side. "You know you could've just had Castiel zap you home" I say.
"He disappeared while you and Dean where arguing. It makes sense that you wouldn't have noticed" she says staring out the window.
"Oh."
We drive in silence for a few hours. She says nothing else to me about what just happened with me and Dean or even what happened when we were in that warehouse. For the first time since I've met her she's pretty damn quiet.
"They say our souls are all we own" she says distantly and when I turn to her I realize she's sleeping.
Yeah, well maybe, but I'd rather turn to stone than get it back.
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