a/n: the amount of love i am receiving for this fic is mind blowing. you're all fabulous, seriously.
now it's date time for our leading ladies, BUT it runs across three chapters (sadly, one of these chapters is NOT the whipped cream and rope i had dangled deliciously in front of you in the previous chapter, but fear not readers, it shall come... no pun intended ;) )
kinda mild sexy times so set the hose on a light dribble for the time being...
Emma xo (ant1ers. tumblr. com)
Henry's first assumption was that the rental man was due because the extremities I was doing to make sure the house was in tip top shape. I had him out the front mowing the small patch of green grass and picking out weeds from in between the pavestones. The only reason he wasn't complaining is because I had promised him a tonne of cash and he got to spend the night not only with his best friend Tom, but also the babe of a teacher, Ms Ruby Lucas. By the way he's eyes sparkled as he ripped apart my pathetic flower bed, he probably wondered what Ruby looked like outside of class and possibly in pyjamas. But I had texted Ruby stating she was to stay fully and properly clothed until the boys had gone to bed.
To keep things even simpler I did actually tell Henry that the rental man was coming; which kind of made it easier in persuading him to leave for the night. I was in no state to tell him I was attempting to impress the Principal of his school. No way in hell. I glanced around the shiny house, proud with myself and Henry. But it wasn't that I kept my house in a constant state of pigsty, but in contrast to Regina's flawlessly kept office, it was so totally a pigsty.
I had successfully hoovered and mopped the entire house. I don't know why I was going so bat shit crazy with it but this was the first time she was actually seeing my house. The television screen had been wiped down and so had the kitchen counter, dinner table and any sort of surface that Regina could possibly lay her hands on.
"Okay, I've cleaned the bathroom, washed the car, done the front garden, the back garden…anything else?" Henry padded in and dabbed the sheen of sweat on his flushed forehead.
"Nope but thank you so much Henry, you have no idea," I pressed a kiss to my sweaty son's head and shooed him off to the bathroom to shower and clean himself up.
"Don't sweat it Ma," He slammed the door shut. I still needed to teach him how to shut the bloody door.
"Knock, knock sunshine,"
Shit, what time was it? I looked up at the clock and felt my stomach fall out down to my feet; 5pm.
"Come in Ruby, mind the floor, it might be a bit wet," I called out from the kitchen. The front door bounced off its frame a couple times before relaxing. Ruby's bright and happy face appeared beside my fruit bowl,
"Sup Swan,"
"Hey," another face appeared beside hers; a younger, male version of her,
"Hi Ms Swan,"
"Hey Tom, you guys don't mind me looking all dreadful," I smiled as I passed them two glasses of tap water, "Henry's just in the shower now, he shouldn't be long,"
"Cool," Tom's eyes roamed around the house, clearly checking out his Sports teacher's hectic bachelorette pad.
"Jesus Emma, I didn't realise you were capable of this level of cleanliness," she ran a finger across my countertop and examined the microscopic dust particles.
"I'm full of surprises," I smirked as I downed the last of my water. The bathroom door swung open and Henry waltzed out dressed in his usual attire of jeans, converse and some sort of retro-styled comic-printed shirt.
"Hello darling," Ruby squeaked. Ruby is killing my son, I just know it.
"Oh, hey Ms Lucas, is Tom here?"
"You can call me Ruby on weekends Henry; I'm not your Art teacher then,"
"Okay then Ms Lucas…I mean, sorry…Ruby," Henry scrunched up his face at the sound of it.
"No worries, and yeah he's just popped out the front for a sec,"
Henry whizzed past and pushed open the front door, calling out to Tom who had somehow located one of Henry's soccer balls in the thick bush.
"How old are you if Tom's only thirteen?"
Ruby blew a massive bubble with her pink chewing gum, "I'm twenty eight,"
I groaned, "great, I feel like an old fart,"
"That's because you are Ms Solitaire," she eyed my computer screen.
"Hey, I'm thirty-three okay? I'm allowed to play that shit,"
"Whatever, it's you who said they were an old fart,"
I glared at the younger woman.
"Here's a question; how old is Regina? Oh God, what if she's like fifty with some kick ass plastic surgery?"
"Calm down Ruby, she's thirty five,"
"So old," Ruby rolled her eyes, "you two are such old farts,"
"Dude, you totally made out with her last year; she's seven years your senior man,"
"So what I like cougars, deal with it," Ruby shrugged her shoulders as Henry and Tom raced back inside.
"You kids ready to roll or what?" I gave Henry the money I promised him from my purse and kissed him,
"Ew Mum, no," He glanced nervously up to Ruby who smiled, "there are ladies here,"
"And this lady doesn't mind. Now, let's roll amigos," She placed a hand on Henry's shoulder and directed the two boys out.
"And Emma," Ruby called through the mesh of the flyscreen door as Henry and Tom jumped into the back of her red convertible,
"What?"
"Bang the crap out of Regina. I am expecting juicy details tomorrow when you pick up your love-struck son,"
"Yes thank you Ruby, goodnight,"
No. I was not wearing that…or that, or heaven forbid, this.
I chucked the dress back onto my pristinely made, freshly re-sheeted king bed. It was obvious I had nothing left in this damn dresser than was even close to portraying a cool, calm and collected Emma Swan, weekend edition. Was Regina expecting me in just usual attire or something else? Hell, what was she going to wear? There was no doubt in my mind that she was going to outshine me on every level…well every level except for my underwear, that's for sure. I only pulled these purple lacy bad boys out when I knew I was definitely, without a doubt, getting laid. I even shaved my legs and everything.
I stared down at the array of dresses I had splayed out onto the bed and shoved a white maxi beach dress up over my head and wrestled it over my super extreme super excellent push up bra. I wrapped a long ass tanned leather thin belt twice around my middle and slung on a cropped denim vest thingy that I had somehow found hidden underneath my stack of shoes.
It just didn't look right. Something was missing. I spotted a metal hairclip. Bingo. Wrapping my hair up in a loose bun looking thing, I clipped the hairclip in and smiled at my glorious beach babe hairstyle with a cute as hell wispy fringe. I looked freaking cute as, totally Regina-worthy.
I stashed the rest of the dresses back into my wardrobe and practically skipped out to the kitchen. The clock above the front door ticked past 6:05p.m. Shit. Uneasiness pooled around the back of my thighs and no matter how much of this damn lukewarm cider I was downing, I couldn't get rid of it.
Regina was going to be here in twenty minutes. Regina. Not just any old Regina but Regina Mills, holy hell. I puffed out my cheeks and yanked open the fridge door. The wine was chilling, the vegetables were sitting all nice and squeaky clean, and the three cans of whipped cream sat hidden behind Henry's massive box of apple juice. Damn if they had eyes, I swear the cream would be throwing me dirty looks when I caressed them this afternoon, telling them all about where I would be using them on Regina's body.
I glared at the bottle in front of me; drops of condensation ran down the brown glass and pooled around it. I was using it to keep my mind off constantly checking the clock but clearly it wasn't working because I knew it was 6:19p.m. 11 minutes. Come on Regina.
There was a glint of sunlight outside on the main road and my breath caught in my throat. A black Mercedes pulled up and parked with only the precision that Regina Mills was capable of.
Here we go.
I ducked into the bathroom just as I heard Regina open her car door. Okay, my face looked okay. I mean my makeup was still very much in place and so was my hair and oh no was that a curry stain on my damn jacket? Shit.
There was a soft knock on my flyscreen door. Fucking fuck, this was happening. Shit, fuck. Oh no. I dipped my head over the basin and clenched the edges super tight. A dog was barking somewhere in the distance and I wanted to strangle it. This was Regina and just Regina. Not some kind of crazy lady, just your boss, just your boss Regina. I think I was going to be sick.
She knocked again, "Emma?"
Fuck.
I pushed down my fear and ambled out down to the tiled hallway, digging my toes hard into the flooring.
"Emma?" Regina knocked again.
"Sorry, I didn't hear you!" Yep, best lie I could possibly muster at this point. I flicked the lock and pulled open the stubborn door. The best way I could describe Regina's immaculate outfit was simply country club. It was like she was attending a Sunday lunch at the poshest country club in all of Maine. Her hair was a nice wavy bob and makeup was perfect as usual particularly the bright slash of red lipstick. She wore a silk neck scarf, a simple black tee shirt tucked into a knee length white pleated skirt and red flats with matching red handbag.
"Thank goodness because I thought for a second I had the wrong house," Regina pushed up her tortoise shelled bug-eyed sunglasses and frowned down at a yellow Post It note stuck to her thumb.
"Nope, couldn't miss this hideously red bricked bad boy for miles," I grinned as I stepped back to let Regina in.
"I must have driven past it a dozen times, checking the number but then realised that it would be fitting that you'd own the only red house in a main street of white bricked houses." I glowered at her as she kicked off her flats and walked in.
"Wow, not even inside my house and you've managed to insult it. Cheers Regina," She smirked and stood up on her the tips of her toes to kiss me,
"No worries dear," I felt her smile against my mouth.
"Do you think it's wise to wear white when you're cooking spaghetti?"
"Probably not,"
I diced up the last of the red capsicum and threw them onto the sizzling pan.
"I suggest you get changed dear,"
I turned to Regina, who sat on the bar stool nursing a glass of red wine,
"Says the woman drinking red wine over her white skirt,"
"Yes well I am not as clumsy as you, am I?" Regina raised her eyebrows as she drank heavily from the glass, her chocolate brown eyes never leaving mine.
"I guess I could cook naked, if you prefer,"
She choked on her wine. That got her attention. Regina wiped the edge of her mouth,
"Good God Emma, as tempting that sounds, I'm going to have to say no. Anyway, I don't want you burning yourself when you dare me to lick scolding sauce out of your belly button,"
Shit, I was not expecting that kid of reply. But nonetheless, Regina was so hot and sassy and fucking perfect.
"What a shame Regina, we could have had so much fun," I winked as I stirred the vegetables.
"Didn't your Mother ever tell you 'no dessert before dinner'?"
I faltered for a second. The wooden spoon fell from my fingers and landed onto the tiled floor. I know Regina meant it as a joke but it still felt like someone dragged a sharp knife up my spine.
"Shit," I grabbed a wet cloth and bent down, wiping away the sauce that had splashed up the cupboard doors. My hands trembled as I scrubbed perilously at a stain on the floor.
Regina's hands were suddenly on mine, folding over mine, pulling the ruined cloth from my grasp.
"Ms Swan, I've clearly insulted you, I'm so sorry," She smiled as my backside bumped into the glass door of my oven,
"No, no, it's fine. I just…uh," I picked up the spoon as Regina placed a soft hand on my cheek. She leaned in and brushed her lips over mine. I tumbled backwards at the contact and she fell with me, straddled awkwardly in my lap as my back rested against the oven.
"Hey," I muttered awkwardly as Regina bit her lip, her face centimetres from mine,
"Hey" she whispered. She pressed her indulgent lips to mine and I groaned, bucking my hips into her centre. Regina giggled into my mouth as she pulled away and peppered kisses over and around my jawline,
"Am I ever going to be allowed my wicked way with you?" I gasped as her tongue made contact with my neck, "or am I going to have force my way to it?"
"Oh Ms Swan, I do like the sound of the latter," she mumbled into my skin. Regina clearly was one kinky lady and I was totally, a hundred percent okay with that. Hell, I even encourage it.
I sniffed and I was hit with the smell of burning vegetable.
"Shit," I almost flung Regina off my legs. She yelped as I slid her petite frame off of my lower limbs and clambered up, grabbing blindingly at the pan. I lifted it off and sloshed the mushy mixture around the shallow pan. Where the fuck was the spoon? I glanced nervously around, hoping to salvage the very black and crispy vegetables that stuck to the bottom of the so called non-stick pan. Shit, it was on the floor. I couldn't serve Regina burnt vegetables from a dirty floor spoon.
I yanked a black plastic spatula from the ceramic container next to the cooker and scraped the vegetables off onto a little blue plate on the counter.
"Um, so Regina…I kind of, possibly, burnt the…" I peeked down to Regina and almost dropped the sizzling pan. She sat back on the heels of her feet and had her bent legs split wide open with her skirt trailing down in between them. Regina steadied herself with one hand on the tiled floor and she held the spoon to her lips with her other hand delicately. The tip of her tongue lavished the concave area of the spoon as her eyes were wide and hungry and oh so definitely on me. If that wasn't hot enough, a few strands of her perfectly kept hair had fallen over her left eye and a bit had stuck slightly to her lipstick.
"Hmm, what were you saying dear? I was too busy enjoying the pasta sauce,"
"I um," I swallowed thickly as the flat of her tongue covered the entire back of the spoon, "vegetables…burnt…"
"Oh no, how unfortunate," she purred,
"yeah, really super unfortunate," I cleared my throat as she stood up, her knees clicking loudly. Regina had successfully cleaned the spoon entirely with just the tip of her tongue. It practically sparkled, you know if roughly made cheap kitchen spoons from the local supermarket could sparkle.
She passed it innocently back to me and I just stared at the utensil in my numb fingers.
"Does this mean no dinner Ms Swan?" Regina grazed the back of her hand against my cheek and pouted, "I was looking forward to your spaghetti. But no matter, I guess this means we can skip straight to dessert,"
If I could punch any organ inside my body right now, it would have been my stomach because right at that moment, it gurgled. Regina snorted and rolled her eyes as I patted the complaining body part,
"I'm bit of a mood killer aren't I?"
"Evidently," she took a step back and sighed, "I guess we can't do a few hours of rigorous exercise while you're lower intestine sounds like it's got a creature crawling through it,"
Regina rifled through my fridge and freezer until she came across a box of pasta sheets and enough ingredients to make a basic cheese sauce.
"May I?" she motioned towards the now cold vegetables as I took a seat on a bar stool.
"Go ahead, salvage what you can," Regina smiled at me as she pulled out a chopping board and dumped the burnt goodness onto it; scrutinising each piece before either discarding it or cutting off the over roasted skin and throwing it into the pasta sauce that simmered quietly on the back hotplate.
Somehow Regina had whipped up something that looked along the lines of lasagne. I took the time to dump the cooked yellow spaghetti strands into an airtight container and place it into my fridge. No doubt Henry would find it and add some tomato sauce or some other disastrous condiment to it and title it as an afternoon snack of sorts. Regina glided through the kitchen like she knew it like the back of her hand. Not that it matter, I mean, I'd love her to be in here cooking for me whatever and whenever her heart desired.
"You should still get changed dear," Regina hummed as she donned my frilly slightly stained apron and bright green frog oven mitts. She pulled slid the small glass dish filled with lasagne into the oven. Regina looked bloody adorable and so familiar dressed in my stupid apron and childish oven mitts.
"Why?"
"Because we still have to eat it and no doubt you will spill some onto yourself,"
"Excuse me, I am not clumsy," I put my hands onto my hips with such force, I knocked over my cup of water; my plastic cup bounced across the countertop and rolled away underneath the table as cold water pooled. Regina simply lifted a single eyebrow at me as I chucked a tea towel on the puddle of water.
"Please, please get changed," Regina pleaded. I huffed as I left the solo cook to navigate my kitchen. I figured that I had no need to impress Regina anymore considering her eyes had widened considerably when she saw the dark lace material strain against the thin beach dress I slipped on for this evening. She knew what was hiding beneath this dress.
I ripped open my chest of drawers and yanked out a pair of denim shorts and a grey singlet thing that made my boobs look great.
It was obvious that Regina hadn't sensed my return. I'm not too sure she's still oblivious considering I slammed my door back and tripped on an uneven tile, swearing. Regina's back was to me as she hummed and swayed her hips slightly to some kind of soft jazz number that played out on the small radio propped up on my open window. I wrapped my arms around her waist and her breath hitched,
"I should let you cook for me more often Ms Mills," I pressed a quick kiss to the back of her neck as I fiddled with the front knot of the apron.
"Funny how tonight's circumstances changed. I thought you were supposed to be cooking me dinner, not the other way around Ms Swan," She sighed and leaned her neck back, giving me total access to the pale skin. I didn't hesitate as my fingers quickly undid the tight knot. I latched my hungry lips to her bare throat. She hummed happily as my tongue softly stroked the flesh just behind her ear. Unwrapped the apron, I released Regina from my grasp as she groaned.
"Damn it Emma," She sucked a breath in through clenched teeth as I wrapped the apron around my own middle, "you are going to be the death of me,"
I grinned as I pulled the steaming pasta based meal from the oven with a tea towel; cooked to perfection.
"Not if you kill me first with this possibly poisoned dinner, aye Regina?" I winked at her as I sliced two squares out of the lasagne and slopped them onto two plates. I had busied myself before with making a poor excuse of a salad, so I made a small neat pile of said salad on each of our dishes.
"Please Ms Swan, if I was going to kill you I would have slipped poison into the stupid jar of peanut butter you drag around with you at work," She muttered diplomatically as she raised her chin.
"Note to self, buy a new jar of peanut butter," I licked the cheese from the flat of the blade, "and make it Regina-proof,"
"Oh and how does one exactly make something, 'Regina-proof'?" she made little air quotations as I pushed the plate towards her as she sat down on one of the three bar stools I had.
"Hmm," I stared at her, stroking my chin mockingly as she took an elegant bite of salad, "you seem like the type of gal who couldn't undo a bra in one go so I'd stick one of those five clasped bad boys on the jar,"
"Oh Emma, how very wrong you are indeed," Regina snaked her arm up beneath her designer shirt and I heard a small click. Her chest gave way slightly as she put her hand back up the front of her shirt. I had to admit, seeing Regina grope her own boobs in front of me was extremely hot and made me feel like someone had poured hot water down the front of my trousers. With one quick flick of her finger, Regina flung her red bra into my lap. Holy shit, what the fuck just happened? I stared down at the warm piece of lingerie that sat temptingly in between my legs.
"Regina…" I gawked, my bottom jaw almost touching the counter as I turned to her. Once again, she looked at me innocently as she wrapped her pink tongue around an exceptionally cheesy piece of cheese as her very noticeably perky nipples pressed against the white fabric of her top. Regina Mills was going to fucking kill me.
"Yes dear?"
"I…I…"
"You retract that statement then?"
I laughed nervously as I thumbed the see through lace bra she'd thrown at me, "Ah, yeah,"
"Good. Do not doubt my skills in undressing myself ever again Ms Swan," Regina continued to eat her dinner like nothing completely and utterly mind blowing had just happened.
"Holy shit," I whispered as turned back to my meal.
a/n: I'M IN LOVE WITH MY OWN REGINA.
next chapter is sexy chapter, weee weee! ;)