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"Calm your heart, Aragorn."
The Ranger looked at the Istar walking beside him in the back of the group. The Wizard looked well enough and moved quickly despite his encounter with the Ring a few days back. He seemed to be glowing in the sun, raven strands dancing free of any bounds around the slight form.
Ruth had taken nothing but his staff with him that he was now using as a walking stick, while Orion walked slowly among the Hobbits, carrying their heavy bags.
"I cannot help it, Master Ruth," Aragorn spoke in a grave tone, head bowed with heavy thoughts, and Ruth hummed in agreement.
"One cannot move forward if their heart is always pulling them back," Ruth spoke warmly.
Aragorn glanced at Ruth, taking in the smaller man from head to toe, noting that even though the Wizard appeared to be absolutely self-confidant and certain in each move he made, there appeared to be a deeply rooted sorrow in the Green Istar's heart, something that could only be seen by looking into those out-worldly, unique depths Ruth had for eyes.
"She will wait for your safe return," Ruth offered as comfort, emerald eyes glimmering with memories.
"Is there anything you don't know?" Aragorn asked, trying to lighten the atmosphere and Ruth laughed quietly, hardly a sound passing sandy pink lips.
"There are a lot of things that I don't know iliúre réiruhin." (young king) Ruth winked at Aragorn. "I am only very observant. I had witnessed your parting with Lady Arwen. Your eyes have been filled with sorrow and shadows ever since then."
Aragorn blushed and Ruth looked at the front, lips tilting up for the smallest of bits and Aragorn frowned after catching sight of a shadow that darkened Ruth's eyes. "Are you well?" he asked and Ruth turned that soul-searing gaze to Aragorn, allowing the Man to see the full extent of Ruth's inner suffering.
"I am only reminiscing," he said. "Many years have passed since I had spent any amount of time among so many people. It is only natural, I believe, that I start to remember, don't you think?"
Aragorn hummed in agreement. "If you need someone to talk to, I am willing to listen," Aragorn offered and Ruth sighed, clapping Aragorn's back lightly.
"Worry not about me, Aragorn. I have long ago made peace with my past. It is my future that I cannot make peace with, no matter how hard I try."
"Is your future that dark, Master Ruthímiel?" Legolas asked.
"I do not see my future as dark, Master Elf," Ruth spoke and to someone less observant it would have appeared as though everything was alright, but Aragorn and Legolas could hear the subtle note of sorrow in the Istar's voice. "I see it as I have seen the 2 centuries that I have spent here; peaceful they may have been, but they were also lonely. I may have chosen to stay away from any human contact, but that doesn't mean I haven't longed for it. Although..." Ruth smiled sadly and looked at the sky. "Seeing everyone you cherish and love grow old and die while you stay forever young and untouched by time?" he looked at Aragorn and Legolas and the two suppressed a shiver at the raw, foreshadowing sadness in Ruth's eyes. "Maybe, to avoid that pain, it is better to simply be alone."
Legolas and Aragorn exchanged a glance, but before either could say anything Ruth's eyes cleared of shadows and he called out to Gandalf.
"Master Gandalf, I hope you won't mind if I go and try to get a glimpse of things from up above!"
Everyone stopped and looked at Ruth, all but Gandalf carrying various expressions of confusion on their faces, unable to understand Ruth's words.
"We shall stop at the next glade! Will you meet us there?" Gandalf asked, eyes glimmering knowledgeably, and Ruth smiled and nodded.
"I shall bring news of what is waiting for us!" Ruth spoke and his staff vanished into thin air.
"How do you mean from up above?" Merry asked.
Ruth winked at the young Hobbit and to everyone's surprise transformed into a beautiful black eagle. He took flight, let go of a strong trill, and flew away until he could not be seen anymore.
"Well, I guess that explains it, Merry," Frodo said with a smile, patted Merry's shoulder and walked over to Gandalf's side.
"Mister Ruth is really full of surprises," Sam remarked, squinting at the sky in hopes of spotting their wayward companion.
"I wonder if he can make fireworks like Gandalf!" Pippin grinned and the Gray Istar laughed at the Hobbit's easy going nature.
"Maybe one day we'll have the honor of seeing," Gimli responded to Pippin's enthusiasm.
Aragorn, Boromir and Legolas, who walked in the back of the group, only smiled at the Hobbits.
"They are still innocent," Legolas commented.
"We can only hope they stay that way," Boromir muttered, shoulders hunched under a heavy load and darkened eyes focused on the bare ground. "Although, seeing where we're going, that may not happen."
"One can only hope, Boromir," Aragorn said and looked at the sky. "One can only hope."
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The Fellowship was sleeping around the campfire while Gandalf kept watch. They had settled in a glade when night had started to fall and agreed to take shifts keeping watch. Since Ruth had yet to rejoin them Gandalf decided to take the first shift. He wanted to talk with the younger Istar about many things. He might as well start upon Ruth's return.
In his thinking Gandalf focused on the fire. His mind was running like water, recalling many things, some good and some bad, heart aching at the memories of many who he had lost to battles, who had not had a chance to see better days.
He gripped his sword and staff tightly when leafs ruffled in the darkness of the forest, only to relax not a moment later when Ruth all but glided out of the darkness.
"You have returned," Gandalf commented with a small smirk and Ruth smiled, silently taking a seat to Gandalf's right and wrapping his green cloak tightly around the lithe body to conserve warmth.
"I have flown too far to the front and needed a bit of a rest before I returned. Then I had gotten pulled into an interesting argument with a family of squirrels about frightening them when I had landed on a branch their hole was located beside." Gandalf laughed quietly and Ruth muffled a snicker, eyes glimmering happily. "By the time I had managed to convince them that I meant no harm I had realized that night has already fallen. I hope I didn't worry you too much."
Gandalf shook his head with a huff and took out his pipe. "Have you seen anything?"
Ruth's smile vanished in a second, gaze darting towards the forest quickly before settling on the fire. "Not seen as much as heard and smelled," he murmured into his chin, air suddenly heavy with apprehension. "The air reeks of Orcs and Wargs."
Gandalf frowned and lit up his pipe. The air filled with the scent of tobacco and for some reason Ruth relaxed a bit. He remembered another man, in another world, which sat with him like this, only he had been smoking cigars and he was not Ruth's elder by so many years.
Gandalf saw Ruth's eyes fill with memories - shadows of pain and loss - and his old heart ached for the young Wizard. Even though they had not spent a lot of time together, Gandalf has heard a lot about Ruthímiel from Radagast who held the Green Istar in high regard, which was quite a feat when it came to the Brown Istar.
Radagast loved Ruth as though the Green Istar was Radagast's own child. Several times they had met when Ruth would take time to rest from his appointed task, and Radagast would later speak of Ruthímiel to Gandalf.
They Gray Wizard felt as though he had always known the Green Istar, having learned a lot about him from Radagast. Gandalf had come to think of Ruth as a friend, and he had been immensely pleased when Ruthímiel volunteered to escort Frodo to Mordor.
There was no doubt in Gandalf's heart that Ruth would play a great part in the events that would soon follow, and he was more than happy to have the young Wizard with them.
"Are you well?" Gandalf asked, wishing to help the weary man, Ruth twitched and glanced at Gandalf before he shifted in his place a bit and focused that penetrating gaze on the fire.
"I am only remembering, Master Gandalf," Ruth spoke quietly, hugging bet legs to his chest and resting his chin on his right knee. "Only remembering."
Gandalf grunted and puffed out a few while circles. "I am willing to listen, if you are willing to talk."
Ruth let go of a breathless laugh and looked up at the star covered sky. "I am remembering a man I had known a long… long time ago. Considering how old I am and how many worlds and dimensions I've seen, my time with him has been very short and yet I remember him clearly. He was a strong man; an Alfa predator. He had had all the characteristics of a wolverine; strong, independent, proud, confidant and inevitably lonely. He had lived a lonely life and we had only been together for a few short months, but I have to admit I have rarely found such companionship."
"What happened?" Gandalf asked, observing the younger man carefully, only to gape when Ruth spread his right hand forward, palm up, and some of the fire separated to hover above Ruth's palm. A moment later it started to twist and dance in a slow rhythm.
"I found out that a war was brewing in that world. I had already cared for him greatly and wished to stay, but he had been against it. He had known of my past," Ruth murmured, seemingly enticed by the flames dancing above his hand, "and he had known of my pains. He practically ordered me not to mix in, made me swear on my life that I would never in any way join that war. A part of me hated him for that," sandy pink lips tilted up into the smallest of smiles, "and yet another part loved him even more."
Gandalf had barely managed to stop himself from choking on his spit at the implication of those words. Ruth only graced him with a knowing smirk and Gandalf cleared his throat, shifting his weight and licking dry lips. "What did you do?"
Ruth sighed and fisted his hand. The fire burst out and disappeared, and Ruth lowered his legs and fisted his right hand in his coat. "We fought," he muttered into the silence of the night, and bowed his head with an aura of sadness. "In the end I had packed all my things and left that dimension all together, determined never to look back." A dry, sad laugh left parted lips and he shook his head. "You can guess how well that went. I had returned to that world 20 years later. Everything was alright. His side had won the wars. At a great cost, but they had won. I tracked him down and found him in the embrace of a woman. Our eyes met for a mere second. A part of me had been angry, but another part of me had been joyful. I had always known I couldn't offer him half of what that woman could. So I nodded at him, turned my back on everything we could have had and left. I have never gone back."
Gandalf hummed and nodded, although he couldn't say he completely understood Ruth's reasoning. "Why have you never settled in any of the other worlds you have visited?"
Ruth looked at the sky, letting go of a non committal sound, clasping elegant hands in his lap. Neither knew that most of the Fellowship was awake or that they were listening in to their conversation.
"I am immortal, Gandalf," when Ruth spoke it happened in a voice laced with sorrow, pain and loneliness. "I am cursed to stay forever young; forever untouched by time and change. Wherever I went I could only stand aside and watch as those that I had come to love grew old and faded right in front of my eyes. I cannot suffer that pain any longer, Master Gandalf." Ruth bowed his head to hide the tears gathering in pain-dilated eyes.
"Ruth..."
"I had come to Middle-Earth and decided to stay away from everyone hoping that the pain would ease with time, yet it only grows stronger." Ruth looked at Gandalf and the older Istar felt his heart ache at the sight of shadows in those emerald orbs. "Tell me, Master Gandalf; do I ask for too much?" Ruth's voice broke as he gazed at Gandalf imploringly "Do I ask for too much when I ask for a companion? Is it too much for me to ask for the Valar to either take my immortality or grant me someone who will not leave me when his time comes?"
"Ruth..."
"I have lost the will to hope, Master Gandalf!" Ruth whispered brokenly, gaze darting over the still forms around the campfire, a pain-filled gasp escaping parted lips before a tongue peeked out to wet them. "I cannot be alone anymore. I had joined this Fellowship even though I know that once I have come to love everyone - and I know I already care for them - I shall be condemned to watch them grow old and die. I shall be forced to one day see you and Legolas leave with the Gray Ships to somewhere I cannot follow. So tell me, Master Gandalf… Tell me, am I wrong to despair? Am I wrong to be angry with the Valar for cursing me so? I have done everything and anything the Powers that Be asked of me to do. Have I not earned rest? Have I not atoned for whatever heinous crime I have committed? What am I to do?"
Gandalf swallowed difficultly and Ruth looked into the fire, a single tear trailing down one pale cheek. Coming to a decision, Gandalf reached over and with more strength than someone his age should possess pulled Ruth against his side. The young Istar tensed in surprise and yelped, but moments later he leaned into Gandalf's warmth and relaxed against the old Wizard.
"Even if the Valar will not allow you to step onto the White Shores, I am certain that they will not allow you to be alone. You are too good of a man to be cursed with such loneliness."
Ruth's breath hitched in his throat and he moved closer to Gandalf, trying to gather his bearings. A few moments later he calmed down and slowly moved away, earning a reassuring smile from Gandalf who reached up with his hands and wiped the tears off of those pale cheeks with the back of his fingers.
"You shall find your place, Ruthímiel the Green. That I promise you," Gandalf whispered and Ruth nodded with a small smile, and Gandalf smirked in satisfaction and shifted in his place. "Now, since my shift will last for another hour or so, what say you, you sing something for me. Time will pass faster for the both of us."
Ruth let go of a breathless laugh, cleared his throat and straightened, brushing the tears lingering on long black lashes with the back of his right hand. "What shall I sing for you, Master Gandalf?"
"Whatever you feel like singing, I suppose," Gandalf shrugged carelessly as he settled more comfortably in his place, gaze focused on the fire burning playfully in front of them.
Ruth hummed and looked at the sky, eyes glimmering with the shimmering stars brightening the darkness of night.
"Come now my children
away from your sorrow and pain.
Tomorrow will come
and take it all away.
Come now sweet children
take my gentle hand.
I shall lead you to a world
in which you shall find happiness.
Come now poor children
This way it must be;
sorrow and pain
everyone must see.
Weep not my children
for now I am here.
I shall take you away
and you shall be safe with me."
Gandalf sighed as the words rolled off of Ruth's lips.
The melody resembled a lullaby and Gandalf found peace settling in his heart. The members of the Fellowship sunk back into sleep, lulled into the warm arms of Morpheus by Ruth's velvety voice.
Smiling contently, Gandalf looked at the star covered sky, feeling peaceful and calm despite the dangers waiting ahead.
Ruth hummed and looked at the fire, noticing that it had growing weaker, and with a wave of his hand Ruth made the fire burn stronger to keep the members of the Fellowship warm.
"That song…" Gandalf spoke quietly drawing Ruth's attention away from the playful fire. "It sounds familiar. As though I've heard it a long, long time ago and forgot about it. Much like a lullaby. One remembers it vaguely and yet once they hear it somewhere they can almost sing along."
Ruth nodded in agreement, eyes shining with warmth as he wrapped his arms around himself, hands fisting loosely in the upper sleeves of his warm coat. "Maybe because you have heard it already," Ruth answered in a voice hardly above a whisper and Gandalf glanced at him. "A long, long time ago."
"How do you mean that?" Gandalf asked, and Ruth shrugged, looking at Gandalf with lips upturned in a small smile, emerald depths glimmering with so many unnamed things that Gandalf felt as though he was sitting beside a creature made out of legends and myths, an ancient entity that somehow strayed among mortal folk to enchant them with beauty and grace not meant for earth-bound beings to enjoy.
"Both you and I - everything in the world - we had all been born from the same source. The whole universe, every dimension and every creature comes from our Mother. Some of us are connected to Her through stronger bonds than others. Some hear Her loving whispers in every breath of wind, every song of the nightingale, in the thundering roars of waterfalls and the chiming laughter of rain caressing grassy glades and moon-kissed stone. Some don't hear Her at all, having forgotten Her teachings, the touch of Her love and the comfort of Her wisdom. She is All, and All is Her, whether human, animal, plant or star. Hers is the language of love and compassion, but also the rage and justice."
Gandalf stared at the young Istar, trying to process his words, and yet unable to understand them. "Who is that Mother you speak of?"
Ruth hummed and tilted his head to the side, looking at Gandalf with such a peaceful countenance, that the old Wizard felt as though a gentle, warm hand caressed his cheek. "Why, the Mother that created us all," Ruth spoke warmly, adoration soaking every word. "She is the Life that courses through everything and everyone. She is the Creator's first Creation; the one that defines us and gives us meaning."
"Us as in..."
"Every single Creature is Her Child," Ruthímiel said. "Have you never felt Her?"
Having been asked this question, Gandalf opened his mouth to answer, and yet found himself lacking words.
"Have you ever been so afraid and lonely that you had thought it would be best to just give up, and all of a sudden it felt like a gentle, loving hand touched your brow and warmth hugged your heart?" Ruth asked and Gandalf's eyes widened, making Ruth's lips tilt up into a knowing smile. "That was Mother. Even though many have forgotten Her and stopped talking to Her, She hadn't given up on up. She still watches over us and grants us the power to use Her gifts. She is greatly saddened when Her Child chooses the path of Darkness, mostly because She is not allowed to act, but She still actively participates in our lives by granting us comfort and courage when we need it from the bottom of our hearts."
Gandalf nodded in understanding. For a moment it was as though he could hear the lullaby Ruth sang just minutes ago in the wind, sung by a loving warm voice. "Our Mother, you say," he muttered and Ruth nodded.
"Yes."
Gandalf hummed and closed his eyes. The wind grew warmer, caressing the old Wizard's cheeks and dancing through his long beard. "You are right, Ruth," Gandalf spoke quietly. "Now that I think about it, you are right."
Ruth laughed silently, a shiver wrecking the slight form when a stronger gust of warm wind danced around them, and the young Istar looked at the star covered sky, something resembling renewed strength brightening his eyes. "Trust me, Master Gandalf, even though She is not allowed to actively participate in the things that have yet to happen, She will find a way to do so."
Gandalf laughed into his chin, reaching with his right hand to gently clap Ruth's back. "Somehow I find myself believing you, my boy."
Ruth smiled and nodded, and as silence of content and fellowship settled between them, they turned their gazes towards the sky, allowing their thoughts to stray into the deepest corners of their respective minds.
Not even an hour later the comforting silence broke, and Ruth tensed up, his staff appearing in his hand immediately, putting Gandalf on alert and making the old Istar take a firm hold of his own staff. "What is it?"
Ruth stood up and looked to the East. His eyes shone an unearthly green for a moment before he paled, who body coiling as air hitched in his lungs. "Wargs..." He gasped and Gandalf's eyes widened. "Gundabad Wargs!" Ruth shouted, awakening the rest of the Fellowship almost immediately.
"What is happening?" Pippin cried out struggling to get out of his sleeping bag together with the other Hobbits, while Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli and Boromir joined Ruth and Gandalf.
"Wargs are coming after us and a group of Orcs is not far behind!" Ruth blurted out, hurrying to help the Hobbits get to their feet, closely followed by Aragorn who immediately stated gathering their things.
"We must run," Legolas bit out, staring into the darkness of the woods surrounding them, bow already in one hand while the other reached for an arrow out of pure instinct.
"They are gaining on us quickly! We have no time to run!" Ruth snapped and with a wave of his hand everything they owned was packed and mounted on Orion's back. Legolas and Ruth were looking around frantically, while Boromir, Gimli, Aragorn and Gandalf pushed the Hobbits into the middle of the circle they had made.
"Orion!" Ruth called out and the Mearas strutted over to him. "Ertho khal ha Brani." (Stay close to the Hobbits.) The stallion strutted over and stopped in the middle of the group of Hobbits while Ruth, Aragorn, Gandalf, Boromir, Legolas and Gimli stood in a circle around them.
"They are gaining on us," Legolas pressed out through clenched teeth although one might say he was stating the obvious because all of them could by now hear the growling and huffing that was coming closer as moments passed.
Gimli pulled out his axe, Legolas had his bow ready, Aragorn, Boromir and Gandalf were brandishing their swords, but all of them stopped and stared when a long, silver sword materialized in Ruth's hand. It was a kind of sword they have never seen and Ruth wielded it as though it was a part of his hand, much like the staff he carried.
"They are coming!" Legolas warned and everyone focused on the spot in front of them while Frodo was pushed into the middle of the group.
"Stand your ground!" Gandalf called out. Ruth took a deep breath and spun his staff, impaling the bottom end into the ground sharply.
"Crúxere!" (Shield!) A wave of magic spread out from Ruth and a shimmering shield appeared around the Hobbits.
"What is this?!" Boromir asked.
"This way we need not worry about the Hobbits!" Ruth answered. "They are here!"
In that moment the Wargs jumped out of the forest and the battle begun.
The pack of Wargs seemed to be enormous. Ruth lost count quickly of how many he had slayed. His attention was divided between the Wargs and the shield. He would occasionally catch sight of the other members of the Fellowship as they fought, forcing him to concentrate on his own opponents when he'd see that they were fairing well but resulting in him loosing sight of the enemy.
A Warg jumped over Ruth and his breath hitched in his throat. He lost concentration for a split second and all of a sudden sharp claws cut into his back, tearing a pained scream out of him.
"Ruth!"
A whistle of wind signalized an arrow flying beside Ruth's ear.
The young Istar growled angrily, striking down both the Warg that had managed to pass beside him and attack the shield and the one that had slashed Ruth's back. He ignored the blood soaking his clothes and the pain surging through him with every move, fighting against the ever coming Wargs. Ruth didn't know for how long they'd fought, but after what seemed like hours they had managed to defeat their enemy.
Slaying the last monstrous beast, Ruth fell to his knees, gasping for air, sword impaled in the ground and both hands wrapped around the staff as he fought against the pain threatening to overwhelm him while his magic worked to heal the gashes in his back.
"Ruthímiel!" Aragorn ran over and fell to his knees beside Ruth while the others approached them still keeping an eye on the darkness of the forest.
"I am well, Aragorn. Worry not," Ruth blurted out in a whisper, earning an incredulous glare from Aragorn.
"You are wounded…"
"My wound is already healing," Ruth interrupted Aragorn, taking a firmer hold of his staff and straightening with a wince. "Worry not about me. Is everyone alright?"
"One managed to knick Boromir, but otherwise we are all uninjured," Aragorn informed him and Ruth frowned as he looked at the Gondorian.
Ruth climbed to his feet in a second, marching over to Boromir who was stuttering for something to say, but when Ruth stopped in front of the tall man, emerald gaze quickly flickering over Boromir's strong form before a delicate hand grabbed the Man's left arm, right under a sluggishly bleeding wound.
"That is just a flesh wound..." Boromir tried to brush it off, but Ruthímiel would have none of it.
"Hush..." he snapped. The staff vanished, followed by the sword disappearing as well, and Ruth covered Boromir's wound with a hand, bowing his head and whispering an incantation: "Luth beth ítrue." (You shall heal.)
Boromir shivered when a wave of warmth passed over him and Ruth took a step back. The Gondorian raised an eyebrow when he found the cut completely healed. Not even a scar could be found. "Thank you, Master Ruth," Boromir muttered, completely confused with what had happened, but Ruth seemed absolutely satisfied with simply ignoring Boromir's confusion in favor of the shield still surrounding the Hobbits.
"Master Ruth, are you well?!" Frodo called out just as Ruth walked over to the shield and placed his right hand on it, the silvery substance cracking and shattering like fine glass. Not a second later Frodo was right in front of Ruth, looking up at the young Istar with eyes wide and full of worry.
"I am well, young Frodo," Ruth spoke comfortingly before he turned to look at Gandalf, looking wary and tired. "We must leave immediately. More are coming and next time there won't be just Wargs attacking us. Orcs will follow, for sure."
Gandalf nodded. "I agree."
"Where do we go?" Boromir asked, and everyone turned to Gandalf who looked to the east.
Nodding for himself, Gandalf grunted and straightened to full, quite impressive height. "We're going for the Gap of Rohan."
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I'd forgotten how much I actually loved this story. It's definitely one of my most favorite multi-chapter stories. :D