"Can't we just turn off the godsforsaken water?" Hazel moaned a few days later when they heard the shower turn on below deck. "Leo's going to start singing again!"
"I—would—Hazel," Percy grunted from where he was sparring towards the bow of the ship, slashing with his sword and causing Jason to jump about three feet in the air, "but—I—kind—of—need—a—shower."
"Me, too," Jason agreed, staggering over to the deck railing and sitting down heavily. "I've never been so sweaty in my life."
Percy grinned. "I can fix that for myself, though." In one swift motion, he stripped off his shirt, tossed it to Annabeth, and disappeared over the side of the ship with a flawless dive.
Annabeth rolled her eyes at her boyfriend. He was just such a Seaweed Brain sometimes, but she loved him anyway. "He just had to take the shirt off, didn't he? What the Hades."
"He wasn't like this when we went on our quest," Frank said quietly.
"Yeah," Hazel agreed, "he was all smart and leaderly and stuff."
"Actually, Leo was pretty much exactly like this when we went on ours," Piper sighed. "In fact, I don't know why he isn't—"
"DO RE MI FA SO LA TI DOOO!" screeched a high, shrieky voice from below deck.
Percy burst suddenly out of the water, willing the waves to carry him onto the deck. (He was rather distracting when shirtless, but Annabeth tried not to focus on that.) The image was rather marred by his hands clamped over his ears as he yelled, "You just had to jinx it, Pipes?!"
"Sorry!" Piper shouted back as Leo changed songs:
"SO TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT,
WHAT YOU REALLY REALLY WANT!
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I WANT,
WHAT I REALLY REALLY WANT!"
"This is beyond Chiron, even," Annabeth moaned. "Why did we let him come with us, anyway?"
"THE SUN GOES DOWN, THE STARS COME OUT
AND ALL THAT COUNTS IS HERE AND NOW
MY UNIVERSE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'M GLAD YOU CAME, I'M GLAD YOU CAME!"
"Great, now he can hear us!" Frank whimpered.
"HEY, I JUST MET YOU
AND THIS IS CRAZY
BUT HERE'S MY NUMBER
SO CALL ME MAYBE?"
"No girl in their right mind would call you, Repair Boy!" Piper shouted.
There was a beat of silence.
"THAT'S INSULTING, BEAUTY QUEEN! NOW I SHALL SPITE YOU WITH HORRIBLENESS!"
"Is that even a—" Annabeth barely had time to wonder aloud before the singing started back up.
"BABY YOU LIGHT UP MY WORLD LIKE NOBODY ELSE
THE WAY THAT YOU FLIP YOUR HAIR GETS ME OVERWHELMED
BUT WHEN YOU SMILE AT THE GROUND IT AIN'T HARD TO TELL
YOU DON'T KNOW-OH-OH
YOU DON'T KNOW YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL!"
"Hey," Percy shouted, that's MY song, Leo!" He ran downstairs, followed a few seconds later by an almighty crash and an even louder "OW!"
"When will the weirdness of this place end," Hazel moaned.
Frank shrugged. "Who knows? Percy went down there to throttle Leo, right? Maybe they'll drown soon."
"Um, Frank...Percy's the son of Poseidon," Jason said slowly. "He can't drown."
Annabeth facepalmed.
A/N: Oh my effing GODS, you guys, thanks so much for all the suggestions! I'll try to get around to every one—and in the meantime, feel free to send more! (The funnier, the better, though.)
Songs used in this chapter: "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls, "Glad You Came" by The Wanted, "Call Me Maybe" by Carly Rae Jepsen, and "What Makes You Beautiful" by One Direction.
EPC