a/n: super sorry about the late update; i had writers block like no one's business! anyway, i was hanging out with this lovely girl called Tanya (who also reads this story) and we came up with three new chapters! yay. this was one of them! so warning, smut smut smut!
thank you thank you thank you for all the beautiful and hilarious and wonderful reviews i have been receiving! i adore you all! the amount of love i have been shown is overwhelming and it's making me excited to start my other fics i have lined up for you lot.
Enjoy my dumplings,
Emma xo (ant1ers. tumblr .com)

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"Wait, I got it,"
"Oh here we go; everybody calm down, Swan's using her brain,"

"Well whatever she's got has to be better than your ideas Ruby,"

"Shut up Mary Margaret; as Swan and Mill's unofficial wing woman, all my ideas have to be sex based,"

"Is anybody going to actually listen to me or,"

"I'm listening dear,"
Somehow, Regina, Ruby, Mary Margaret and myself ended up in Ruby's empty classroom, working on 'Operation Blue'. Regina wasn't really meant to be in on it, nor offering suggestions on how to ruin the anti-gay substitute she hired, but hey, here she was.
Ruby, Mary Margaret and I all sat squished around one of Ruby's desks while Regina paced around trying to think of mildly childish ways to get at Blue. Ruby tapped the desk impatiently as I proudly lifted my arms into the air,

"So what's your ingenious idea Emma?"

I waggled my eyebrows at the pixie haired brunette,

"We, as in Regina and I," I motioned to the other brunette who stood with her arms crossed, "totally…should…"
"Totally should what, dear?" Regina encouraged. I winked at Ruby,

"Bang on Blue's desk,"

"Oh for fuck sake," Regina threw her arms up in exasperation as Mary Margaret banged her head against the table, "in what universe Ms Swan is that even considered professional?"

"None, that's why it's so brilliant,"

Ruby just stared at me in awe, "how the fuck did this school even survive without you Swan?"

"Um, we had a pretty good handle on it Ruby," Mary Margaret huffed,

"I agree," Regina said.

"Excuse me, you're meant to be on my side Regina, since when is having sex with me even bad?"

"It's not bad, it's terrific but unprofessional,"
I turned to my infuriatingly hot girlfriend, "oh and tying me up in your office is deemed pro…" Regina's hand clamped over my mouth in record speed. Mary Margaret looked like a confused little puppy while Ruby grinned ear to ear. Regina didn't let up as she sighed, even when I licked the inside of her palm because that was the most childish thing to possible do.

"Fine, Ms Swan,"

"What!" Ruby and Mary Margaret squealed. Regina released her hold on my lips and I just opened my mouth to say something but was cut off when her forefinger rose into the air,

"But, no actual sex; just kissing,"

"Aw man," I pouted,

"Come on Regina, live a little," Ruby nudged the Principal playfully on the arm, "tap that ass before Blue does with the Lord,"

Mary Margaret, who was all serious face and anti-sex-on-desk-unless-it-was-her-and-David, burst into laughter at Ruby's statement.

"Whatever happens… happens, but I will enter this agreement on the terms that I was originally meant to kiss you…just not what may or may not happen afterwards," Regina stated as Ruby and Mary Margaret giggled like school children.

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How the hell Regina and I were still employed by the Board of Education was beyond me. Especially if we were breaking into other co-workers classrooms and attempting to have sex on their stuff because we both fucking hated the bitch.

Blue Superior's classroom was on the first story of the Literacy block; a dodgy space that was originally used as a storage space for desks and chairs when the lower level of the Science department flooded. Regina had handed her the keys reluctantly and told her to make the space her own for the next five weeks, which meant possible Jesus explosion. But we weren't too surprised when we pushed open the heavy door to reveal what looked like a solemnly used room. The walls were cream coloured with wooden skirtings, the tables wiped down and looking fresh, and the whiteboard looked cleaner than mine did when I first arrived. You could see the particles of dust floating around in the streams of sunlight; it was kind of magical if you just ignored the massive wooden cross on the back wall and the Ten Commandments up above the white board. Blue's desk was impeccably clean and we were about to ruin that.

Regina pushed my butt up against the edge of the desk and her mouth instantly latched onto my neck.

"I'm starting to think this isn't a good idea, Regina," I whispered as Regina kissed down over my collarbones and made her way up the other side of my neck.

"Mm and why's that?"

"What if Blue comes in…"
"Then we'll have an audience, won't we dear?" Suddenly her hand was undoing my belt and I realised how bad this idea really was.

"You know, like twenty minutes you were against this idea," I stated as Regina's hand slipped in between my legs, massaging the skin of my inner thigh.

"That was until I remembered I was horny,"

Hearing that particular sentence fall from the mouth of Regina Mills was like music to my ears…and tidal waves to my panties. I groaned and Regina smiled knowingly.

"Holy shit Regina, don't say that…"

Regina pushed me hard up against the desk and jammed her thigh between mine,

"What? That I'm horny?" Her slight Spanish accent on that word had me weak at the knees.

"Mm," I couldn't even make words as her tongue licked my ear and her hand explored up my stomach,

"That I dripping wet for you…? That I'm thinking of all the naughty things I could do on Blue's desk, hmm,"

Oh God. Oh sweet Jesus, Mother of Mercy. Regina grabbed my hand and slipped it up her pencil skirt. My fingers brushed her core and boy, she wasn't lying.

"All that for you, Ms Swan,"

"Jesus you have to stop talking to me like that or I swear to God…"

Regina raised her eyebrow to the massive cross on the back wall, "I'm sure he's going to be listening when I have you screaming my name,"

I was in a relationship with a nymphomaniac. With one sweep, I cleared the shit off of Blue's desk and Regina pushed me back down onto the table.

"Blue's going to kill us," I laughed as Regina pinned my hands up above my head. Her eyes flicked over to the whiteboard and we spotted the same thing at the same time; one of those stupid metre long arse rulers sitting in the ledge bit that held the whiteboard dusters.

"Excellent," Regina peeled off my body, grabbed the ruler and laid herself back down before I could even protest. I reached up to touch her boobs or face or whatever, but she hit the ruler against my knuckles and it hurt like a bitch.

"Bad girls get punished," Regina cooed as she flipped me over onto my front. She yanked down my sport shorts and suddenly the cold wooden ruler was pressed against my butt cheeks. Fuck, she was quick. Regina stepped in between my legs and pushed my thighs wide apart; her thin fingers pressing teasingly against my pussy.

I grasped at her wrists to press them in further but Regina pulled away and smacked the ruler hard against my lower back, again and again until I was pretty sure my butt was bright red. The stuffy room did nothing to alleviate the stinging hotness of my rear end; I'd kill for a breeze. Regina bowed her body over mine and her breath was in my ear,

"Blue might need to burn the desk after I'm done with you," I felt a corner of the ruler poke lightly at my core and I almost came at that single touch.

There was a bang from outside the classroom and some very loud yelling from a very pissed off Leroy. We didn't pay notice, well; I couldn't pay notice while Regina practically had me stringed up for the whole world to see.

Regina lifted the ruler to her mouth and licked off my juices. I moaned at the intoxicated facial expression that danced across Regina's face. She grinned and lowered her hand to my stomach. She didn't need my permission; the woman knew she could have me at any given moment and I wouldn't care. Her fingers entered me and I had to muffle the cry of ecstasy that left my lips.

"Now, now dear, we don't want to alert Ms Superior of our presence, do we?" But that statement didn't lower her enthusiasm. Regina worked at me like her life fucking depended on the fact I had to scream her name…and that I did; over and over, her name fell from my mouth.

Suddenly there was banging on the door.

"Regina! What are you doing in my classroom?"

"Oh shit," I glanced up to the wooden door and thanked the Lord above that Regina locked it. The door rattled in its frame as I quickly yanked up my shorts. Regina in her impractical heels ushered me towards one of the slightly ajar windows.

"Are you kidding me? Out the window, really?" I cursed as Regina pushed the window up, exposing a thick garden bed.

"Regina! Regina, so help me God…"

I sat on the windowsill and kissed Regina goodbye as she pulled the window closed,
"See you tonight dear…"

The door swung inwards as I fell ungracefully out into the bark covered garden bed.

"Regina, what are you doing in my room?" Blue squeaked as I quickly crawled towards one of the bushes. Bits of sharp sticks stuck to my knees as I listened in on the conversation happening above.

"I am the principal, am I not?"

"Well, yes, but…"
"I'm just seeing how you've laid out your room and to see if it fits to the standards,"
"And has it?"
"Of course," I heard the click of Regina's heels fade away, "Also, I was admiring your garden bed, what a lovely job my groundskeeper has done…"

When the classroom door clicked shut, I exhaled loudly but almost regretted it when I heard a pair of non-heeled shoes tap across the linoleum flooring.

"What on Earth happened here?" I heard papers and pens being picked up off the floor. Oh shit, we forgot to clean up. I started crawling away until I heard Blue gasp,

"What on Earth is that wet patch…" shit, shit, shit, crawl, crawl, crawl, "is that…"

I ran out of the garden just as Blue let out an ear piercing scream of pure disgust, "those lesbians procreated on my desk!"

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a/n: THIS FUCKING STORY HAS TURNED INTO LIKE, A CRACK FIC AND I'M NOT EVEN SORRY AHAHA